Evolution
by MarigoldMusings
Summary: We've followed Tuckson, Noah, and OCs Sarah and Brooke through A Perfect Surprise and Alone Together. The story continues...occasional angst, more than occasional fluff, and some major changes are in store for the Tuckers!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, readers. Now begins the sequel to Alone Together. This picks up in mid-October, 2017. I left you in Chapter 42 with a lot of things up in the air—what's up with Sarah and Isaac? Will Brooke run away from her chance at love with Carisi, and…will Ed and Olivia try for a biological child? These chapters will follow the family as they navigate through some major changes in their lives._

 **One**.

The shower clearly was not large enough for two people in love.

The thuds, clangs, and giggles induced an annoyed-sounding series of thuds from the neighbor.

" _Shhhh_. Mrs. O'Malley can hear us."

"Who cares about Mrs. O'Malley? What about Noah?"

"He's asleep. He sleeps like the dead."

"Are you sure?" The two of them stood still. The only noise came from the water streaming over their bodies and falling in droplets against the tile. "I thought I heard something."

Sonny poked his head out and listened. "Maybe it's Sarah," he concluded hopefully.

Brooke slid her arms around Sonny's waist. "Relax." She played with the soaking wet strands of her boyfriend's hair and pulled him close for a kiss. "We have at least another hour."

"Brooke," Sonny mumbled as she kissed him. "He's knocking."

"What?"

Again, they froze and listened.

Two faint knocks, and then, and innocent-sounding, "Brookey?"

" _Fuck_."

"Brookey you okay?"

The concern in Noah's little voice melted her heart. "I'm fine, No, hang on," she jumped out of the shower, hurriedly dried off, and wrapped herself in her robe before slinking out of the bathroom, opening the door as narrowly as possible. "Hey buddy," she took his hand and led him to the living room. "You didn't sleep long."

"Nope." Noah walked with Brooke but craned his head backward, "Where Sonny?"

"He's…he's asleep."

"Uh- _uhhhh._ " Noah protested. "I hear him! Wanna see Sonny!" He looked up at Brooke indignantly.

"He'll be right out," Brooke assured.

"He in da shower?"

"Yes."

"Brookey in da shower?"

"Ummm… _yes_." Brooke searched the room for a distraction. _Food_ , she thought, _food was good._ "How about some cheese and crackers?"

Noah scrunched up his nose. "For dinner?"

"It's too early for dinner. This is a snack."

"Okay," Noah tried to hoist himself into a barstool, but Brooke had to give him a boost, "I eat a snack and Sonny cook da dinner." He drummed on the island with the palms of his hands. "I play da bongos at school, Brookey!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Maybe Mommy and Daddy will get you some bongos for your birthday."

"I play 'em on da iPad, too!"

"I bet they miss you playing the bongos." Brooke felt guilty about being sarcastic, but after two-and-a-half days playing mommy and also testing the waters of living with Sonny she longed for some alone time. Ed and Olivia decided to go upstate for the long Columbus Day weekend after one of Ed's coworkers offered him the use of his lake house, and Brooke and Sarah agreed to care for Noah. Wisely, Brooke suggested they pack Noah's bags and let him stay at their apartment rather than bring back bad memories of the last time Ed and Olivia were away. Besides, with Sonny now living with Brooke and Sarah, sleeping arrangements were less tricky and awkward if they remained at their place.

"Hey, Noah!" Dried and dressed, Sonny appeared. Brooke sized him up as she had done every day since he moved in two weeks ago. She liked seeing him so casual with his hair free from product and clad mostly in well-worn jeans and sweatshirts.

"Hi!" Noah greeted him brightly.

"Have a good nap?"

"Yep! You have good shower?"

Brooke doubled over with laughter and Sonny cracked up. When they calmed down they locked eyes, silently entertaining the same thought.

 _Someday, this will be fun to reminisce about._

"It was good," Sonny quickly replied and then just as quickly changed the subject, "Cheddar and Ritz, huh?" He eyed the food. "Mind if I join ya?"

"Nope! Snack time, sonny!" Noah plucked a hunk of cheese and a cracker from his plate and held it out, "Here ya go!"

"Thanks," Carisi replied and cast an amorous gaze at Brooke, "I'm _hungry_."

"We eat sagetti?"

"If that's what ya want."

Noah bit into a cracker and nodded happily. She, Sarah, Sonny, and Noah would have one final "family" dinner together before Ed and Olivia returned the next day.

"Know what I need to buy sometime for a snack?" Sonny asked as he studied the cracker sandwich he'd constructed, "Easy Cheese."

Brooke furrowed her brow. "What?"

"Easy cheese," Sonny repeated, "You spray it."

"Spray da cheeeeeese?" Noah giggled.

Sonny recalled a childhood memory, "Yeah, me and my sisters would see who could fit the biggest mountain of cheese on the cracker and into our mouths without spilling."

"Gross," Brooke muttered. "I don't think Liv wants Noah eating that crap."

"It crap, Brookey?"

"Ugh, sorry No, don't say _crap_ , jeez, we gotta get your parents back. You're gonna be corrupted to the core."

"Noah, you have corrupt sisters. But, me? Your Sonny? I'm all good."

"Sisters k'rupt." Noah agreed nonchalantly then batted his eyelashes at Carisi, "What k'rupt?"

Sonny leaned forward on his elbows, "It means they say bad words sometimes and they shouldn't."

"Brookey you talk bad at da big kids?" Noah asked, wide-eyed.

Stifling laughter, Brooke answered, "No. And I shouldn't talk bad around you. Sometimes I just forget, little man. You're family but you're still little. I'll try harder."

"Dat's what my teacher say!" Noah exclaimed, "Jus' try hard!"

…

Ed stretched and gripped the balcony railing firmly, stretching his hamstrings and calves. He and Olivia biked at least ten miles along the Adirondack trails and, while both he and his wife were in excellent shape, he was certain, come morning, he would be stiff as a board. Olivia came up behind him and massaged his back. Ed let her knead his delts for a while, but he couldn't resist leaning into her after a few minutes. The weekend had gone off without a hitch so far. Traffic hadn't been a problem. They'd had two exceptional, intimate meals in town, and the weather was cool enough for them to relax around the fire pit at night, curled together in one lounge chair.

Just the two of them.

At home, it was rarely just the two of them and every vacation they'd taken except for their honeymoon included Noah. They could've easily left Noah with Brooke or Sarah or both of them before, but vacations didn't seem quite right without him. So, when Ed informed Olivia of his buddy's offer, he was surprised when she immediately suggested they ask the girls if they could possibly be convinced and maybe inconvenienced to take Noah for the weekend.

"We'll pay them," she said.

"They don't need to be paid."

"Well, it's a little bit of an imposition. And they won't want to say no."

Ed was right. Both Sarah and Brooke refused the money and were, as usual, happy to help. Brooke hadn't planned to be away anyway; she was still getting back into the groove of the school year, and Sarah never planned anything elaborate, especially outside of the city. When Ed and Olivia thought about it, they were sure she hadn't left New York since she and Ed went to Philadelphia to pick up a few things last spring.

"They're living practically rent-free," Ed had gruffly muttered, "And with Carisi there now…even cheaper. Wish I had that deal when I was their age."

"It wasn't that expensive then," Olivia had pointed out.

"No, but you get it."

"I do."

Their last full day at the house on Lake George began the same as the two previous mornings—with either Ed or Olivia initiating a sweet round of lovemaking as the sun rose and, afterward, they moved to the balcony wearing robes and blankets and sipped coffee until they mustered enough will to either make breakfast or go to the local diner.

The constant close proximity to his wife thrilled Ed. Fall proved to be a challenging time for their still-fledgling marriage. Tricky cases consumed both their professional lives and every moment they had at home was spent with Noah as they ushered him through his first weeks of pre-K. The first few hours at the lake seemed awkward at first as they adjusted to being alone together in the peaceful, idyllic surroundings, but it wasn't long before the two of them glued themselves to one another's side and reignited old, giddy feelings that reminded them of why they fell in love in the first place.

After each lazy morning they either went on a hike or took the bikes for a spin along the well-marked trails. They ate a light lunch and ended each afternoon with a boat ride.

At first, Ed was hesitant to take his colleague's boat on the water even though the man practically made him promise he'd use the vessel. Captain Tucker had a lot of talents, but he had never operated anything more complicated than a small fishing boat and an NYPD inflatable; however, with Olivia's encouragement, they took the eighteen-footer for a couple of late afternoon cruises and, once Ed got comfortable with the operation and got his bearings, he killed the engine, dropped anchor and left the controls to sit next to Olivia on the bow's bench seats.

"Want a drink?" She asked sweetly, resting her legs on their small cooler.

He kissed her cheek and held her close. "Nah. Not right now. Right now, I want _this_."

Olivia rested her head on the shoulder of the man she loved so much that sometimes it paralyzed her. The simple feeling of her cheek against his body was enough to send shooting pangs of desire through her midsection.

Waves gently rocked the boat. Both pairs of eyes gazed into the distance at the evergreens and the deciduous tree leaves now heartily colored in deep red, orange, and goldenrod. A few other boaters dotted the lake, but the peak watersport season was just about over and visitors and residents retreated to land to await the advent of the snowmobiles and ice fishermen.

"Too cold?" Ed asked as Olivia completely zipped her coat. "Wanna head in?"

"I'm okay for now. The sun's going down anyway. A few more minutes."

"Where do you wanna eat tonight?"

Olivia answered immediately, "The Boathouse." On the drive up she'd researched local restaurants. This particular establishment was right on the water, so she figured she'd save the best view for their final night.

"Yes ma'am."

"Reviews said they have a great filet."

"Everything tastes great when I'm eating with you."

Olivia chuckled, "Oh come on."

"I'm serious. Lo mein for lunch? When _we_ have lunch together it's so much better."

"That's because you think there's a tiny chance we'll have office sex again."

Ed grinned into her hair, "Maybe." A few seconds passed and then he asked, "Um, _will_ we have office sex again?"

Olivia tilted her head back for a kiss, "You could get lucky again, Captain. Just…be prepared."

"I'm always prepared." Ed noticed the sun starting to dip below the tree line, "Well, we should probably get goin."

"Yeah."

"But it's the last time we'll be out here, so…" Ed took her face in his hands and initiated what turned into a zealous make-out session.

"God, Ed," Olivia moaned into his mouth.

He refused to let her break away, but he mumbled, "Kissing you is one of my _favorite_ things."

Olivia finally made some space between them so they could breathe, and she ran her fingers through his short hair, "What are the others?" She teased, knowing how he would answer.

"Making love to you," he replied, smirking, "Seeing you just about to wake up in the morning. Kissing you goodbye, well, I don't necessarily like saying goodbye, but knowing I'll see you later." He dove at her again, practically consuming the lower half of her face and then, just as abruptly as he began, broke away and continued his thought, "Seeing you with Noah. Seeing you _really_ laugh."

"That's a lot of favorites."

"What are yours?"

Olivia gazed soulfully into his eyes, "There needs to be a word…that combines being in love and feeling so secure that you're convinced no harm will come your way when you're with a person. Because that's how you make me feel. And…that's my favorite thing."

"I think that word is _us_. My number one favorite thing. It's us."

….

Carisi kicked everyone out of the kitchen so he could put the finishing touches on the crew's Sunday dinner. He prepared spaghetti with simple marinara sauce, meatballs stuffed with mozzarella, and a white pizza, specifically requested by Sarah. Sonny insisted the pizza was not authentic Italian food, but he'd made it once before and it quickly became Sarah's favorite.

"Ya know, we really need a dining table," he called out to everyone.

Sarah shot back, "We don't have room for one. And, if you wanna talk to us, at least allow us at the island."

Sonny ignored part of the comment, "Italian food is not meant to be served buffet style. It's meant to be passed around the table."

"Well, we'll pass it around the fu, _er_ , _freaking_ island."

Brooke fired a warning glance at Sarah. "Well, at some point we'll move."

Sarah looked back and forth between Sonny and Brooke, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Nah," Carisi replied as if Sarah had nothing to worry about, "Not right now at least."

"But we're saving so much money," Brooke pointed out, "At least, I am. And, in a year or so, I think I'll be ready to buy my own place. I'm sure Dad would let you stay here as long as you want, but…this place is kinda small for the three of us. Or even the two of us," she glanced sweetly at Carisi, "And eventually, well, Dad deserves to be able to sell. He's gonna make so much money."

"I don't know if I can live by myself," Sarah mumbled, looking forlorn, "But I understand."

"Hey," Brooke said softly, "It's not gonna be for a while. You don't know what'll happen. And if I buy a place and you want to stay there for a while that's fine. It's just…"

"You need to move on with your life," Sarah concluded. "Like I said, I understand. It's just…all this _change_. I struggle with it."

"I know. We all do."

"Sonny doesn't."

"What?" Carisi said as he ducked his head into the oven.

"You don't struggle with change," Brooke called to him.

"Nope."

"I'm glad you're patient," Sarah remarked, "It's taken Brooke like a year to let you move in here."

Brooke cast her sister and admonishing expression, "We haven't been together a year."

"Whatever," Sarah said, "The point is that Sonny here is so in love he's willing to put up with not only your bullshit but also mine."

Hearing the word _bullshit_ , Noah, who had been engrossed with the iPad, looked up. "Sare bear," he warned, "you say bad word."

She clasped her hand over her mouth, "I'm _sorry_ Noey Boey. Timeout for me?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah announced gleefully. "Sare bear, you always in timeout!"

Pots and pans and plates clanged in the kitchen.

"Everybody's released from timeout," Sonny declared, "Because dinner is served."

…..

At The Boathouse, the host escorted Ed and Olivia to a table for two overlooking the docks. A glimmer of daylight still remained, and they admired some of the larger boats. Ed joked he could've driven them over in the boat. Olivia's polite nod made Ed laugh.

"You don't think I coulda done it?"

"Oh, no, you could have," she said, "It's…I don't think it's a good idea to take the boat out at night when we don't know where we're going."

Ed unwrapped his silverware and placed the napkin on his lap, all the while smirking at his wife, "Nice save, Lieutenant."

She simpered back at him. "Thank you."

"I love that sweater."

Olivia looked down at her attire. Formal clothing didn't make its way into the Tucker suitcases on this particular weekend, but even she had to admit that her burgundy v-neck sweater, jeans, and riding boots combo was a good choice.

"Know why I love it?"

"Why?"

"Cause that necklace…" Ed peered at the stone cluster hanging from a gold chain and resting just above her cleavage, "That necklace looks so good with that color." The bauble consisted of all three of their birthstones intertwined together.

Self-conscious under the scrutiny, Olivia scratched at her neck. "I love this." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"What can I getcha to drink?" An overly-eager server approached with a too-wide grin and did not realize at all that he'd just interrupted a sweet moment.

Ed fixed his eyes on Olivia. "Red?"

"Sure."

"Have any local reds?"

"We have a few. I recommend the Bully Hill Merlot."

"We'll have that," Ed requested and quickly turned his attention back to Olivia. "I love that necklace, too." Ed purchased the jewelry on a whim after hearing Cole tell him about a similar gift he'd purchased for his wife.

"I'm wondering though," Olivia mused slowly, "Wondering if…are we going to have to add to this at some point?"

Trying to stifle a smile, Ed raised his eyebrows curiously. "Are we?"

The baby conversation had come and gone throughout September, and, as of now, they hadn't spoken of babies since Sarah's birthday at the end of the month. At one point, Ed resigned himself to the idea that they wouldn't talk about it again; their lives were simply too full, too busy, and bringing in another young life would be irresponsible.

Olivia's resolute response stunned him.

"I want to."

Outside, a family of eight had just docked their large boat and disembarked. They were now walking in a boisterous line into the restaurant, attracting the attention of everyone but Ed and Olivia. Across the room, a three-piece jazz band cranked out soulful standards. The waiter dropped off their wine.

But Ed and Olivia were in a world of their own. They noticed none of it. Only when the server loudly and intentionally cleared his throat did Ed wave him away.

"We need a minute."

Olivia repeated herself. "I want to." She slid her glass aside and reached for Ed's hands. "I don't want to put it off or ignore it anymore. I want…I want..." she lowered her voice ever so slightly. "I want our baby."

Olivia swore Ed looked exactly like Noah just then. Innocently excited. His hands trembled ever so slightly, but his eyes conveyed such sincerity that she knew he felt the same way.

"I want our baby, too."

The server returned.

More accommodating this time, Ed ordered the vaunted filet mignon and when Olivia ordered the shrimp scampi he suggested, "Maybe we can share those two? Medium rare okay on the steak?"

She nodded.

The server obliged. "I'll bring a couple of extra plates."

"Thanks."

Overcome with emotion, Ed wasn't sure what to say next. Tears burned in the back of his eyes, yet he remained focused on his wife who seemed oddly composed for such a pivotal moment. He took that as a good sign.

"I made an appointment with my doctor," Olivia said, "And we'll go from there."

"Okay."

Ed seemed content to follow her lead for the time being.

"And…depending on what she says, we may need to start looking for a surrogate." Ed was soaking up and agreeing with every word she said, "But, ideally, _I_ want to carry this child."

Ed's smile overflowed with all of the love and admiration in the entire world. He'd come to know Olivia Benson, now _Tucker_ , as a fierce and independent warrior, and now that she was his wife he rarely saw that side. But he liked it. Yet, he also was concerned for her health.

"Ideally," he echoed. "But what if…"

"There're other options."

"Yeah." He couldn't help but grin. "So we'll go with the next step. You want me to come with you?"

"Not this appointment. Kinda routine, this one."

Ed leaned across the table, "I'm gonna be there. Every time."

"Ed, this—"

He shook his head back and forth. "I. Will. ." Sitting back, a more playful expression crossed his face. "Noah's the perfect age…not too old and not too young. I can't wait to tell him."

Olivia let out a gentle laugh, "We're not there yet."

"But we will be," Ed said softly. "One way or the other. We _will_ be."

The cacophony of the restaurant proved to be no match for their connection at that moment. Ed raised his glass.

"To us," he said with a smirk, "And the _new_ one of us."

They drank, but that wasn't good enough for Ed. He stood up and knelt in front of Olivia.

"Ed?"

"I love you, Liv."

"Ed?" She peered over his head, "Everyone's watching us."

"I don't care."

Olivia looked down at her wedding and engagement rings and tried to make them evident to the observers. Whatever her husband was doing, he was not proposing marriage.

"Olivia," he reached up for her face and then her shoulders, not really sure what he wanted to hold at the moment. His eyes traveled from her hands to her shoulders, and finally to her eyes. "We're gonna have a baby together."

"Yeah," she replied, "We are." She ran a hand lightly across his cheek. "And he'll be handsome like his Daddy."

"How do ya know it'll be a boy?"

"I have a feeling."

"I have a feeling this is…like the icing on the cake of our family."

"Me too." Olivia kissed the top of his head. He'd been on bended knee for too long, and the people who'd been staring went back to concentrating on their meals. "Wanna go back to your seat?"

"Oh," Ed replied, genuinely startled, "Yeah."

"Food'll be here soon."

Ed turned to survey the dining room. "Honestly, Liv? I'm ready to get started on the whole making the new Tucker thing right now." He peered at her, "You stop taking, uh, the pills?"

"I did."

"So…it's just us and nature for a little bit?"

"Yeah."

When the food arrived at that moment Ed smiled triumphantly, "Eat up, Liv. Then we'll go back to the house…and…maybe in nine months we'll name this baby _George_?"

Olivia speared a shrimp and cocked her eyebrow, knowing Ed loved that little move.

"Maybe, Captain. With us, anything is possible."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	2. Chapter 2

**Two**.

Ed and Olivia arrived back in New York before noon and found Noah, Brooke, and Sarah lounging in the living room still in their pajamas. Little Noah was so comfortable wedged between Brooke and Sonny that he didn't even attempt to clamber from the cozy spot. He merely smiled and reached out to his parents.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

"Hi sweet boy! Are you comfy?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah tugged on his Thomas blanket and tucked it under his chin.

Ed surveyed the area. Remnants of last night's junk food-fueled movie fest littered the kitchen, and he was happy to see more soda cans than wine and beer bottles. He kissed the top of Sarah's head.

"Thanks for taking him this weekend."

"Hey," Brooke said sharply, "That one's been working all weekend! Sonny and I were on childcare duty most of the time!"

Ed shimmied his way between the coffee table and sofa to kiss his older daughter. "Thank you sweetheart." He turned to Sonny. "You don't get a kiss, but, we really appreciate it."

"No problem, Captain! It was fun."

Olivia perched herself on the armrest of Sarah's chair, "Have a big project you're working on?"

"Yes," Sarah sighed, "With a company in Mexico and they, no surprise, have no reverence for Columbus Day or, apparently, weekends. I have to go in later this afternoon for a conference call. And I'm the lead on this one, so I kinda haveta go."

Olivia smoothed Sarah's hair. "That's good…taking the lead. Something different."

"Only as good as the client says it is. And this is a big account."

"You'll do fine."

"I hope so." Sarah shifted in the chair. "Noey has been helping me prep, though. Haven't ya, No?"

"Yep!"

Ed smiled down at his son, "Howdja help, No?"

"I put da green in one pile and da red in anovver pile!"

"Tabs," Sarah explained, "And all the while we were practicing our Spanish!"

"Miss Melia teach me 'panish." Noah said seriously, "Miss Meeeeelia come to MY house."

"Who is this Miss Melia?" Sarah asked, "I'm a little jealous of her."

"She works at Noah's old day care," Olivia explained, "And we hired her for Spanish lessons. She comes once a week."

"Well, Noey," Sarah said, "If the whole police thing doesn't work out for ya, you can come and work for me when you grow up."

Noah regarded Sarah's suggestion with the utmost seriousness. "No, Sarah," he replied. "I be _police_."

…..

Nobody moved after Ed and Olivia left with Noah. The three of them simply stared at the television and seemed content to spend the rest of the morning being lazy. Sarah lamented having to leave to go to the office, but going in today meant she could arrive late tomorrow, so she talked herself into accepting that as consolation.

"Whew," Brooke said, "I love Noah, but I'm glad they got back so early. I'm exhausted."

Sarah frowned. Her mind was clearly somewhere else. "Dad and Livvie pay a Spanish tutor to come and teach Noah?"

Brooke shrugged. "Apparently. I think one of them mentioned it before."

"I don't recall having a Spanish tutor when I was three."

"He's almost four."

"You're missing the point."

"I am not," Brooke protested.

A bewildered Sonny looked on with raised eyebrows, "What's going on?"

"Sarah is jealous of Noah," Brooke replied curtly.

Sarah shot up and immediately made a beeline for the kitchen where she poured a shot of gin and drank it quickly, "I am not jealous of Noah. I am…annoyed…at how Daddyish Daddy is. And I've been through hours of therapy to be able to say that."

"You still can't say it without a drink," Brooke pointed out.

"Wait a minute," Sonny interjected before the sisters could argue further, "You mean, Captain Tucker wasn't a good dad?"

"He was and is a very good dad," Brooke said, "He worked. A lot. So we could have everything."

"We didn't go to private school," Sarah protested.

"We also were in school when Dad and Mom were younger. And we both went to Stuy."

"I didn't have a Spanish tutor."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "You were in dual immersion. You learned Spanish starting in Kindergarten. You didn't need a tutor."

Sarah screwed up her face, "So why are Dad and Liv spending all this money when Noey can probably get a better, more well-rounded education, at the neighborhood school?"

"It's just pre-K."

Sarah groaned. "Must be nice to write a ten thousand dollar check to send a little kid to glue shit on construction paper all day long."

"Ten thousand?" Carisi asked.

"It's not ten thousand," Brooke said, "It's expensive, but not ten thousand. And it's not gluing stuff…it's good. He's learning a lot."

Sarah poured another shot. "Daddy could save a lot of money if he hired me. Give that kid junk food and he'll learn anything."

Brooke leapt up and swiped the bottle of gin, "Don't you have to go to work?"

Sarah avoided the question, "I guess, though, I bet Livvie has a lot of money saved up. She said she was married to her job for almost her whole life. So writing a check like that for school is probably nothing. Sonny, how much do Lieutenants make?"

Carisi twisted his lips, "Over a hundred and fifty grand."

"How much do you make?"

" _Sarah_ ," Brooke took a swipe at her sister.

"What? I can Google the fucking answer if I want. I'll tell you how much I make. I don't care. It's just interesting, is all, this city is so fucking expensive."

"Just over a hundred grand," Carisi answered nonchalantly. "And you?"

Sarah took once more shot then began sauntering to her bedroom, "A lot. Too much, actually, for a girl about to go in to work after having three shots of gin." She disappeared behind her door and Sonny shook his head.

"So, we have to be specific but she can get away with _a lot_?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and muttered, "Honestly, she probably has no idea what her actual salary is."

Sonny laughed and waved her back to the couch, "C'mere." With Brooke snuggled beside him he recovered them with a blanket and kissed her cheek. "I like this."

"Like what?"

"Being stable."

Brooke lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled sweetly, "Stability….you're right…way underrated."

"Totally."

….

Olivia waited for Ed in a coffee shop not far from her doctor's office. She chose the place because it reminded her of him—simple, probably at one time very smoky, full of the robust character of gritty New York, yet all the while inviting and warm. They both arrived early and met on the sidewalk before entering.

"Hey there." Ed acted like they were strangers, "You, uh, free for a late breakfast?"

Olivia played along, "I'm not terribly hungry," she looked him up and down, "but I'd be happy to watch you eat something."

Raising his eyebrows flirtatiously, Ed held the door open and they walked in and took a seat in a small booth in the back. Much to Ed's displeasure, he did not accompany Olivia on this initial appointment. He had to be in court, and Olivia insisted this was a routine check-up; the only thing out of the ordinary would be her asking about the odds of her having a natural pregnancy. In court, he tried his best to focus on the case, but even on the stand he was distracted, so much so that, during a recess, the ADA asked if he was feeling alright.

Now that he and his wife were reunited, he felt much more at ease. They ordered coffee, but Ed couldn't suppress his curiosity any longer.

"So?"

Olivia got straight to the point, "She said the chances of everything happening naturally, without consulting a fertility specialist are very low."

Ed nodded calmly. They expected as much.

"But, I'm perfectly healthy. She said there's every reason to believe, with a healthy embryo, that we can have a new little Tucker." She bit her lip and ran her index fingers over the tops of his hands. "I made an appointment at the clinic. They don't have an opening for a few weeks. I asked…for them to call if someone canceled."

A flood of thoughts and emotions rendered Ed momentarily speechless. They had the greenest light they could possibly get. One way or another, he was going to be a father again, and he could not remember having ever been more elated.

"Ed?"

He lifted his eyes at the stunning woman sitting across from him. _His wife_. For the millionth time, he had to remind himself that this was real. Olivia was his. And he couldn't wait to see her belly swell as their child grew in her womb.

The silence alarmed Olivia and she wondered if he was having second thoughts. "Ed, are you okay?"

Finally he smiled. Then he intertwined his fingers with hers. "I'm more than okay," he said, his voice thick as gulped down the lump forming in his throat. "I…hope someone cancels."

Olivia grinned. She wasn't the only one who couldn't wait to get started with whatever the process entailed. "Me too."

"Should we tell Brooke and Sarah?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied thoughtfully, "Maybe not yet. Let's wait until we know a little more?"

"Whatever you want."

Olivia blew into her mug and took her first sip. "How do you think they'll react?"

"Sarah'll scream. Brooke'll roll her eyes at Sarah screaming, but they'll both be happy for us."

"And your mother?"

Doubt crossed Ed's face, "I dunno. She could ask what the hell we're thinking or she could slap my back and say congratulations."

"Noah?"

Unable to stifle it any longer, Ed broke into a wide grin. "I imagine he'll take the job of big brother very seriously."

"Yeah, he will," Olivia murmured. Her face fell slightly, "Do you think…I guess there are two ways to see this. He gets a sibling closer to his age…or does he get someone younger to take care of…when we're not around anymore?"

"Liv? If you're still not sure about this…"

"I'm sure," she stated firmly, "But we're not going to live forever."

"Hey," he grabbed her hands again, "We take good care of ourselves. I feel good, Liv. Really good. Great, actually."

"I do, too. I just don't want to unintentionally make Noah's adulthood more complicated."

"We aren't. We're giving him more family to choose from."

Finding Ed's reasoning mildly humorous, Olivia chuckled a bit, "Good point."

"I'm all in with this, Liv," Ed's blue eyes bored into hers, "But if you want more time, or if—"

"No. I want to take the next steps. I want this, Ed. The feeling I had when Noah's adoption was just about to be finalized? I feel that again."

"Okay," he replied softly. Inside, his heart filled with warmth. Since he'd uttered the spontaneous _I wanna make a baby with you_ , Olivia had been more open and honest with her feelings than she'd ever been. Gradually she abandoned her tendency to work through problems and challenges on her own, but Ed understood that this personality trait was the result of a lifetime of experiences and it would take time for her to become accustomed to revealing her inner struggles to someone else.

"What are you having?" Olivia held the sticky, plastic-covered menu by her fingertips.

Ed checked his watch. "Think I'll have lunch, actually."

Olivia's phone vibrated against the Formica table and Ed groaned, assuming police work was, once again, cutting into their alone time. She picked up immediately, but the ensuing conversation didn't sound like the usual back-and-forth with one of her squad members.

The call ended and she placed the phone gingerly back on the table. "That was fast," she remarked.

"What was?"

"The clinic," she stared at her phone in disbelief before meeting Ed's eyes. "They can see us Thursday morning."

…

The view from Sarah's Financial District office was spectacular enough to awe even the most jaded New Yorker. The floor-to-ceiling windows offered a panorama of Battery Park and also the One World Trade tower and, in the distance, the Statue of Liberty. So, when her boss offered her a different, larger office on the other side of the building, Sarah politely declined.

"Suit yourself," he muttered, "But the other office seems more fitting for the new Director of Operations for Central and South America."

From behind her desk, Sarah's eyes widened. "Excuse me?" She was pretty sure she was being promoted and was surprised at the way he delivered the news. This particular Executive Vice President had never struck her as having an iota of playfulness in his personality.

"Congratulations," his large, burly frame loomed over her desk, "You and your team have been knocking everything out of the park. And, as we expand into Latin America, we want you at the helm. So…if you change your mind about moving, let Andrea know and she'll take care of the logistics. We'll hammer out the numbers tomorrow over lunch."

As swiftly as he'd informed her of the promotion, he spun on a heel and lumbered out of the office, closing the door behind him. Sarah swiveled in her chair and faced the window.

 _Omigod, omigod, omigod_.

Once she partially absorbed the shock of what happened, she propelled the chair firmly enough for a 360-spin, and snickered derisively.

"What the fuck?"

Here she was, now twenty-six years old, and having put forth the lowest levels of effort, was now in charge of an entire division. This promotion made absolutely no sense. There were older, more experienced members of her team who had to be more deserving, but the powers that be chose her.

"Unbelievable," she muttered.

For the next thirty minutes or so she stared blankly into the distance and watched as the sun's rays began to peek through the gray, mid-morning dreariness. A litany of _omigods_ played on a loop in her head as she picked up her phone, eager to share the good news with her family.

….

Ed flung the apartment door closed, turned the lock, and wasted no time removing his wife's clothes. She reciprocated, and by the time Ed laid her on the mattress, they'd left a trail of pants, shirts, underwear, NYPD shields, and two holstered Glocks between the foyer and their room.

The morning teemed with good news. After a battery of tests that came with optimistic results, the Tucker's fertility specialist scheduled the IVF cycle. The process would take several weeks, but the doctor told them that they had every reason to believe Olivia would be pregnant by the end of the year.

"What's the…what's the percentage? Give me a number," Ed had asked nervously.

The doctor stroked his chin and flipped through a few pages of results and records, "With healthy frozen eggs, healthy embryos, we have a healthy mother…the typical number is fifty-five or so percent, but, in your case, everything checks out exceedingly well. Sixy-five, seventy percent," he reported with certainty.

That was enough for Ed. Sure, there was still a wide margin for error and bad news, but he had temporary tunnel vision. He saw Noah wearing a cheesy "I'm the Big Brother" t-shirt. He saw himself pacing the living room with a burp rag on his shoulder and a fussy child in his arms. He saw Olivia cuddling and rocking both her children as she read bedtime stories. He saw them turning the office into a nursery. Late night feedings, diaper changes, the family photograph…

But right now he saw his naked wife's skin glistening and her face contorting with pleasure as he thrust in and out of her. He felt her nails dig into his biceps and then his upper back, and then the curve of his hips, signaling she wanted him to speed up the pace.

They had the place to themselves, so she made no effort to contain her shrieks and moans.

"Oh. My. _AHHHHHHHHHHH_!"

"Like that, baby?"

She managed only a few unintelligible yelps.

Ed strained to speak, but managed to grunt, "You are so fucking good."

Olivia spread her legs wider and Ed clutched her thigh. In a brief few seconds of clarity, Olivia opened her eyes and watched his face as he moved above her. An immense level of concentration permeated his eyes, cheeks, and jaw, and she wondered if, despite the doctor's opinion, he was trying to eliminate the need for IVF and was, instead, attempting to will a child into existence right then and there.

Rarely did Ed's lovemaking exclamations require muting, but this time he released a loud, guttural groan that Olivia couldn't recall hearing before. He collapsed on top of her, his chin hitting hers harder than he'd intended and he immediately kissed the spot, mumbled an overly-remorseful "sorry" and then buried his face in her neck, still trying to kiss her even though he was still panting.

"God, Ed," Olivia purred into his ear, "You, uh…put everything in to that."

"Did I?"

"Yes. I…I hate that we can't stay in bed all day."

Ed pouted. "We can't?"

"No, baby."

"Ugh."

"I have to go back to work."

"Quit."

Olivia laughed at his silliness and nudged him, "C'mon. Let's get cleaned up."

"You gonna clean me up, Lieutenant?"

"Of course."

"That's the only thing that could possibly get me outta this bed right now."

They showered and repeated their morning routine. Ed dawdled in front of the mirror just so he could be next to Olivia as she applied her makeup and fixed her hair. Eventually, she sent him to retrieve their clothes, and, deciding the previous outfit was too wrinkled, opted for another suit/blouse combo. Ed shook his jacket and out flew his phone. He picked it up and examined it for damage. The collision with the floor caused no cracks, but the screen showed three missed calls, all from Sarah.

He, too, decided to don a fresh suit, so he reminded himself to call her later and headed into the closet, swatting at Olivia's ass on the way.

….

"What are you doing here?"

Brooke immediately felt guilty about the tone of her comment; however, Sonny must have expected it because the grin didn't fade from his face as he stood in the doorway of her classroom. A few students still lingered in the hallway after being dismissed for the day and they eyed his shield curiously.

"I miss you," he said. Columbus Day weekend had come and gone without incident, but in the almost two weeks since then Carisi had been working nonstop.

"Done fighting crime for the day?" She teased.

"Maybe for just a few hours," he replied dolefully, "So…let's go home."

Brooke eyed her phone and the ungraded stack of papers on her desk. She could talk to Sarah later and the papers could wait. Sonny's impatience, however, was palpable. She hastily packed her bag, grabbed her purse, and followed him out and onto the street where she nearly had to run to keep up with his pace.

"You're in a hurry," she said breathlessly.

The reply was simple and direct. "I want you."

…..

Sarah had been so busy entertaining offers of congratulations that she skipped lunch, so she figured she'd pay herself back by leaving early. Figuring her Dad and Olivia were working she didn't bother dialing them again, but she called Brooke one more time, knowing school ended over an hour ago. When she got no answer, she hung up without leaving a voicemail and hailed a taxi.

She directed the cabbie to Jimmy's Corner—a dive bar just off Times Square—where she planned to treat herself to a celebratory cocktail and weigh the pros and cons of switching offices.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**.

By the time Halloween rolled around, Olivia had received three of four rounds of injections intended to prepare her uterine lining for pregnancy. Ed dutifully stood by her side each time. The time spent in the office, including in the waiting room, was minimal and Olivia insisted his presence was not necessary, but Ed adamantly maintained his initial stance. He would be there for every step in the process. This past appointment came with positive news. The doctor, impressed with the medication's effects, remarked that he would proceed with the last round of shots though they were probably unnecessary.

"Mrs. Tucker," he said with a slight smile, "We'll be ready to roll soon."

Ed thought the expression was a little too casual for such a monumental moment in their lives, but Olivia later reminded him that the clinic saw hundreds of patients, probably dozens a day, and she appreciated how self-assured he was. She felt comfortable with him.

They still had not told anyone about their plans. Like their early courtship, the secret became precious and almost too good to reveal, as if releasing the news would diminish its gravity.

However, Brooke sensed something was up. Though always attentive, she noticed Ed doting on Olivia even more than usual. Also, their amorous glances occurred too frequently and they made no effort to hide them. She and everyone else in the family had grown accustomed to the surreptitious kisses and touches, but lately those actions were blatant and obvious, almost causing awkwardness when they were all together. So when they arrived home late that afternoon still holding hands, Brooke finally bit the bullet and asked.

"Alright. What's going on?" She waited expectantly, arms akimbo.

Ed tried to look innocent. Olivia attempted to suppress the silly smile she'd been perpetually wearing for the past two weeks. Eventually, they looked at one another, resigning themselves to the fact that Brooke had thrown their plans for a whole-family reveal for a loop. Ed squeezed her fingers, silently prompting her to answer however she wanted.

"Um…why don't we sit?"

Brooke backed toward the sofa, refusing to take her eyes off the couple. Surely the news had to be good, so she perched herself on the corner of the sofa and stared incredulously as her father sat in the chair and Olivia sat opposite her stepdaughter still managing to keep their hands clasped together.

"We were trying to wait for the right time, but I suppose now is as good a time as any."

Nervous tingles traveled up and down Brooke's spine. Surely this had to be good news. Her father and stepmother were way too happy lately for them to be mired in some sort of tragic reality.

"We are…we started the IVF process. We're…we're trying to have a baby."

" _Going_ to have a baby," Ed clarified.

Brooke saw their grip on each other's fingers tighten. Her jaw fell and she swallowed, buying herself some time. She had no idea how to react.

"A baby?"

"Yes," Ed and Olivia answered in unison.

Slowly, her mouth curved into a smile. " _Wow_." Questions swirled in her mind with their ages being paramount. "I guess…I'm, well, I never realized you were thinking about another kid."

"We've been thinkin' about it for a while now," Ed replied, "And, well, here we are."

"I always thought it was Sarah who would produce the next Tucker," Brooke remarked wryly.

Neither Olivia nor Ed knew how to respond to that comment. Brooke seemed genuinely happy for them, but not thrilled or excited. Perhaps the stifled emotion was merely due to the shock of it all. Maybe Brooke just needed time for the news to sink in.

She nodded at Noah who was intently focused on constructing a Lego tower. "Have you told him yet?"

"No," Olivia replied, "I think we should wait a little while longer…until I'm actually pregnant. But, tell Sarah if you want."

"Are you sure?" Brooke asked. "You don't want to tell her yourselves? She's coming over tonight for trick-or-treating."

"Oh yeah," Olivia said, "Of course. Well, speaking of, I better get Noah's costume ready."

Olivia ran her hand along the nape of Ed's neck as she left the living room. "Hey, sweet boy," she called to Noah, "Are you ready to be a lion tonight?" After agonizing over whether to dress as a police officer or a lion for Halloween, Ed suggested a compromise. Noah would wear one costume to school and one costume for the evening. Since the police officer outfit required nothing on his face or head other than the cap, he wore that to school.

"Yep! I be da lion! I gonna ROAR when I say TRICK OR TREAT!"

Noah abandoned his Legos and followed Olivia into her bedroom where she pulled out the iron and ironing board.

Out in the living room, Brooke scooted closer to Ed's chair.

"I, uh, I'm extremely surprised," Brooke said apologetically, trying to muster some enthusiasm. "Forgive me, but, I wouldn't have thought Olivia, uh, could still have children."

"She can… _we can_ …with a little help from science and technology."

"Are you…are you using donor eggs?"

"Nah, she had hers frozen a few years ago. Trying that first. It's quicker."

Brooke studied his face. "Are you really ready for this?"

Ed understood her reluctance. "We've thought about it and talked about it. Hashed out every angle. Bottom line is, this is what we want."

"Well, I, I'm happy for you then," Brooke got up and hugged her dad and then sat back down wearing a thoughtful expression. "In-vitro, huh? What if it's twins?"

Ed blushed and shrugged. "Then it's twins."

…

As darkness descended upon the city, Ed put together a quick dinner for Noah while Olivia went to lie down for a while. She hadn't experienced many side effects from the hormones, but right after Brooke left a slight headache sent her rummaging in her purse for her Advil.

Ed placed a plate of chicken nuggets and green beans in front of Noah who carefully used his fork to push the vegetables as close to the edge of the plate as possible without them falling onto the table.

"Daddy! Need the honey mustard!"

"Oh yeah," Ed reached for one of their small condiment cups and scooped in the dip, "Here ya go."

"Thank you!"

Ed kissed his head, "You're welcome, pal. Very polite. Good job. I'm gonna go check on Mommy, okay? I'll be right back."

"Kay!"

Olivia was awake but still on the bed covered with a throw blanket. Ed sat beside her and caressed her face. "How ya feeling?"

"Headache's gone. Now I'm just tired."

"Why don't you stay here and rest? Sarah and I will take him out."

Olivia sat up. "No. I'm not missing Halloween. I missed it last year. I took today off specifically so I wouldn't miss it."

Ed started to say something about how she'd probably have to slow down once she was pregnant, but he caught himself just in time. No need to bring that up now. He saw her empty water glass. "Want me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm good." Olivia rubbed her temples. "I'll get changed. Sarah on her way?"

"Said she'd be here around six-thirty. So, she's late."

Olivia changed positions so she was sitting next to Ed and put her head on his shoulder. "Brooke seemed a little…shocked."

"She was."

"Probably should get used to that reaction."

"Probably."

Olivia took a deep breath, "I know people will have questions. I'm expecting a lot of raised eyebrows. I just hope they're supportive and…and they try to understand…or at least respect the decision."

"Right," Ed replied softly, "But this is about us, Liv. I really don't care what anyone else thinks. Every day I get more and more excited."

"Me too. But I'm also nervous."

"I know. There're some scary parts to this. I know. But we have each other…when we're scared and when we're thrilled."

Olivia tilted her head back and smiled. "Ed Tucker, you are the most wonderful man in the world."

He kissed her tenderly. "You deserve everything wonderful, Liv. _Everything_."

…..

After trick-or-treating for two blocks, Noah-the-lion insisted he approach the next doors on his own. He stood at the bottom of the next stoop and confidently stared up at his parents and Sarah. Olivia had painted brown whiskers on his face and he looked top-heavy under the bushy mane.

"You stay here," he demanded.

Sarah appeared ready to cry. "Noey Boey! You don't want me to come with?"

"No, Sare bear. I go by myself."

"Okay, sweet boy," Olivia said, "Go ahead. Be careful on the stairs."

The three adults watched Noah trudge up the stone stairs clutching his orange pumpkin which was already half-full of sweet treats. When he was about halfway up, a group of grade school kids ran up the same set of steps and go to the door ahead of him. They rang the doorbell, shouted trick-or-treat, collected their candy and ran back down the steps as quickly as they'd ascended, leaving a bewildered Noah standing in front of the door all by himself.

"Hi there," the homeowner said with a smile.

"Hi," Noah whispered and then suddenly remembered why he was there. He held out the pumpkin and said, "Trick-or-treat!"

The man dropped two pieces of candy into the pumpkin.

"Thank you!" Noah said. He turned around and carefully made his way back to his family. He skipped down the block, but when they approached the next house, he tugged on Ed's hand.

"Daddy, you come wiff me now."

Ed smiled down at him and then at Olivia. The big kids had rattled him.

"Sure, bud. I'm right behind ya. Go ahead."

For the rest of the evening, Ed, Olivia, and Sarah took turns escorting Noah up and down the stoops of the Upper West Side. Sarah ushered him into a few businesses and emerged with everything from cinnamon-and-sugar donuts to cellophane-wrapped packages of candy corn. By the time they arrived back at home, the lion was fast asleep on his father's shoulder.

….

Sarah stayed for a drink and didn't seem to notice that Olivia poured herself a glass of ice water instead of her customary red wine. This wasn't necessary quite yet, but since starting the treatments she swore off alcohol altogether, wanting to take no chances.

"Talked to Brooke at all today?" Ed asked.

"No, we kept missing each other," Sarah said, "She leaves so damn early in the morning. I got home, changed, and came straight here. We probably walked right past each other on the street. I think she's taking dinner to Sonny."

"Yeah, she said somethin' about that."

Olivia didn't want to waste any more time, "Sarah, we have some news," she said abruptly, startling even Ed who knew where the conversation was headed.

Sarah raised her eyebrows, "Oh yeah?"

Olivia used Ed's words from earlier that day, "We are going to have a baby."

"You're PREGNANT?"

Olivia laughed. "No…no…not yet. We've started the in-vitro process. It starts with injections…I'm…I'm almost at the end of those. So, hopefully, it won't be long."

"Omigod, omigod, _omigawwwwwwwd_ …that's crazy! Awesome crazy. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit." Sarah beamed at them and held up her glass. "Well, cheers people. Jesus. This is. _Whaaaaat_?" She started giggling.

Ed laughed at her bumbling reaction. "I know it's unexpected."

" _Unexpected_? Um…to say the least." Sarah jumped up and hugged Olivia, "Livvie, I'm so happy for you! Omigod." Sarah was practically sitting in Olivia's lap, "What a freaking gorgeous child this will be. _Gawwwwwwwwd_. And Noey's gonna be such a good big brother. Omigod. Does Brooke know?"

"She does."

"Was she freaking out?"

"Not exactly."

Sarah screwed up her face, "Oh you know her. Cool as a cucumber. But. Holy shit," she gasped again and fell backward into the cushions. "I guess, wow, _congratulations_."

"Thanks, Sare," Olivia said.

"Ok, so we haveta think about names. "If it's a boy we need to name him after Daddy somehow, middle name probably, do you want another _N_ name? Nicholas? Nevin? Nathan? Or something Irish? Isn't Nevin Irish? Nevin Edward Tucker. Yeah. I _like_ that."

Laughing, Ed held up his hand, "Whoa, calm down. First things first. We're not even pregnant yet."

Sarah swooned much like she did in the early days of their relationship when she witnessed sweet moments, "Omigod, Daddy, _WE_ …you said _we're_ pregnant. That's so…cute…so hipster. I love it."

Olivia reached over and grabbed Ed's thigh. They exchanged sweet glances as they listened to Sarah rattle off possible combinations of girl names. She suspected they'd tuned her out, but she rambled on and on anyway, ending with a lament that they had to choose only one moniker.

"Unless," she said brightly, a finger pointed in the air, "You have twins. Omigod, omigod, omigod, I hope it's twins."

Ed looked mildly stunned.

First Brooke brought it up, now Sarah.

Twins.

One of Sarah's remarks popped into his head.

 _Holy fucking shit_.

…..

When Sarah arrived at home, Brooke was on the couch watching television. On the coffee table were assorted take out containers. Sarah picked up a few of them, sniffed, and put them back without taking a bite. She sat down on Brooke's legs, eliciting an annoyed "oof" from her sister.

"So we're gonna be sisters again."

"Apparently."

Sarah peered at Brooke whose face was illuminated only by the purplish glow of the television. "What the fuck?"

"Exactly," Brooke replied dryly. "What. The. Fuck."

Sarah looked upwards, calculating, "So…when this kid's graduating from high school Livvie will almost be seventy."

"Yep."

"And Daddy will be early seventies."

"Uh-huh."

"Are they…are they wanting to make sure Noah has a brother or a sister close to his age?"

Brooke's disinterest was obvious. "I don't know."

"I mean…I guess…Noah's only three—"

"Almost four."

"Right, but, my point is, he's young. I mean, they're older parents anyway. Guess they thought why not have another?"

Brooke flicked off the television and yanked on the lamp cord. "It's irresponsible," Brooke replied sharply.

Sarah winced as though the comment wounded her. "It's risky…but I don't know about irresponsible."

"So many things," Brooke shook her head, exasperated, "Risky for Olivia. Risky for the baby. There are thousands of kids who they could adopt—"

"I get them wanting to have a baby of their own," Sarah interrupted gently.

"Yeah me too, I guess, but…they're so _old_. What if one of them doesn't make it another twenty or thirty years? What if something happens and they're gone and, guess what? The two of us have two little kids to raise in addition to, well, eventually, our own?"

"You want to have kids?"

Brooke snorted at the change of subject, "Someday I will. Sonny wants them."

"You sound really enthusiastic about it," Sarah said sarcastically.

"Right now I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mid-fifties Dad and my almost-fifty stepmother are going to have a fucking kid."

"Well, they are. And they are really excited and happy."

"No shit. It's disgusting."

"Wait a minute," Sarah narrowed her eyes, "What's this about? Disagree with them, sure, I can see that, but I don't get why you're so pissed about them being happy. You…" Sarah grinned, trying to cajole Brooke into a better mood, "You're kinda sounding like _me_!"

Brooke couldn't help but smile. "It's weird. They're acting younger than us."

"Well, in relationship years, they are younger than us. They really are just starting out together."

"I just hope…" tears welled in Brooke's eyes, "So many things could go wrong. Birth defects, miscarriage…it's like they're not even considering the bad stuff."

"How do you know that?"

"I dunno."

"Surely they've thought about the big picture." Sarah playfully nudged her sister, "You really think they woke up one day and said, 'hey! Let's have a baby!'?"

"No," Brooke sighed, "No I don't."

"Then…for fuck's sake, Brookey, let's be happy for them. _Gawwwwd_. Lighten up."

"I will be. Eventually. It's going to take some time. For me."

"Okay," Sarah reached over and mussed her hair, "But be _nice_."

"I'm always nice."

"If you say so."

Brooke grinned, "Just because I haven't already picked out names and bought a bunch of baby shit on Amazon doesn't mean I'm not nice."

Sarah's jaw fell and she gaped, wide-eyed, at her sister, "How did you know I picked out names? Did I butt dial you?"

"I've known you your whole life, Sare bear," Brooke said affectionately, "It was more than an educated guess."

…

Olivia folded the lion suit and left it on the ottoman. "I suppose, maybe, we should save these things now," she murmured.

Ed looked up from his phone. "Yeah, I guess so," he agreed, smirking.

Olivia picked up a pile of their t-shirts and cotton lounge wear from the floor and walked around on Ed's side of the bed, looking for any other stray garments. "Think we'll ever keep this room neat?"

"Nah. I like it like this."

"You do?"

"Yep. Looks lived in."

"It certainly does."

Olivia disappeared into the bathroom and shoved the clothes in the hamper. "Rest of the place is always in order, though," he called to her.

She appeared again and plopped next to him on the bed. "Yes it is."

Ed sat up, removed his shirt, and reached over to turn off his lamp. Olivia sidled up to him and put her head on his chest. She drew lazy circles around his belly button and occasionally ran her finger along the waistband of his shorts.

"Still tired, Lieutenant?"

"No. I feel great."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"How great."

Olivia slid her hand the rest of the way into his shorts and began stroking him. "Not as great as you're gonna make me feel in a few minutes."

Ed gasped. He clutched a handful of her hair with one hand and ran the other up and down her arm.

" _Mmmmm_ , Liv. _God_."

"Feel good?"

"Mmmmhmmm." Ed moaned. He let her continue for a little while longer until he became almost unbearably hard in her hand. He lifted her up slightly and turned them over. "My turn," he rasped.

Off came her t-shirt. Ed appreciated that she'd already removed her bra. With his tongue he circled each of her nipples and she squirmed beneath him, straining to push his boxers down his legs before he kicked them off completely. He hovered above her, content to gaze at her face for a few seconds. Her brown eyes sparkled and her lips were curled yet pursed, smiling while simultaneously awaiting his kiss.

"You are the most perfect human being." He played with her hair and then ran his index finger between her eyes and down her nose. "I am so lucky."

Olivia intended to respond with a soft "so am I," but Ed hungrily ravaged her mouth and continued with his lovemaking.

Words were no longer possible.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**.

Ed laughing in his sleep awoke Olivia. At first she attempted to ignore it and go back to sleep. Her husband rarely made noises in his sleep, so his sounds initially startled her. However, when she realized he was laughing, no, he was _giggling_ , she propped herself up and watched, amused, as he enjoyed his dream. His mouth twitched and contorted in between the _tee-hees._ This was something worthy of a video recording, but she chose not to do that and keep the memory only for herself. When he stopped and settled back into a peaceful slumber, she remained awake, studying him. Even in his sleep his features were hardened and defined, but now she saw his face as ruggedly handsome rather than intimidating. Gently, she touched one of his cheekbones with her index finger. Unable to resist more contact, she snuggled into his side, and he subconsciously drew her to him. Not yet satisfied, she kissed him on the lips. He didn't react at first, so she kissed him again. His eyes shot open and he lifted his head, startled.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice heavy with sleep but still no less concerned.

"I'm fine."

"I _hate_ that word," he grumbled, suddenly wide awake.

"I know." Olivia smiled at him. "You were laughing."

Ed blinked a few times and a smile crossed his face as he recalled his dream. "We brought home the baby."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And Noah was running around talking to each one, bossing them around."

Olivia grinned. " _Each one_?"

"There were at least a dozen."

"Oh God."

"And we were just standing there…laughing."

"Sounds like a good dream."

"It was." Ed wrapped both his arms around his wife. "Sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

"You feel any different?"

Olivia tried not to laugh at his sincere, sweet question. "No. No I don't."

Earlier that day, two healthy embryos had been transferred into Olivia. After listening to the doctor's advice, reading dozens and dozens of articles and message boards, and having had many serious late night and early morning conversations, Ed and Olivia requested as many embryos as possible be implanted. Their team of doctors, however, refused to transfer more than two. The embryologist argued there were several "perfect" specimens and the ones not used could be frozen and used at a later time if need be.

Ed spread his palm across her still-flat belly. "How long did he say we had to wait?"

"Nine days. Then they'll test again a couple days later."

Ed groaned impatiently.

"You gonna make it?" Olivia asked.

He adjusted his grip and held her even more tightly. "I will. You?"

"I'm excited. A little nervous."

"Nervous about the procedure or the whole thing?"

"More like, I want this so badly and if it doesn't happen I'll be devastated."

"Hey." Ed sat them up. "We've gone over every single scenario. Even the worst-case ones. No matter what, we have each other and we have Noah. _Right_?"

"Right."

Even in the darkness he could see tears welling in her eyes and he shot her his trademark smirk, "But no more worst-case scenarios for us, remember? We're done with those."

"Okay."

"Everything'll be fine, Liv. You'll see."

"I thought you hate that word."

He appreciated her sass. "Only when you use it."

….

Brooke snagged a small table at the local Starbucks and waited for her father. With Olivia at work and Noah at gymnastics for an hour on this Saturday morning, Ed invited Brooke to meet him for coffee. Since he and Olivia revealed their intentions to have a baby, Brooke had been distant. Olivia hoped it was a coincidence, that she was simply busy, but Ed had a feeling there was more to it. Brooke cancelling her normal Thursday afternoon with Noah only added ammunition to his argument.

Ed showed up a few minutes late. "Sorry," he huffed. "Been here long?"

"Only a few minutes."

Ed draped his jacket over the back of his chair. "Be right back. You need anything else while I'm up there?"

"I'm good."

Ed went to the counter and returned with a venti dark roast. He removed the lid and looked at Brooke through the escaping steam. "How's everything?"

"Good," Brooke answered. "Busy but good. This school. _These parents_. They're on top of things. I'm still not used to it."

"Miss the old job?"

"A little. Two different worlds really."

"Speaking of jobs, Sarah seems to be liking her new gig." Ed smirked proudly as he thought of his younger daughter who finally seemed to be getting a handle on life.

"Who wouldn't like it? Her salary doubled and she has less work."

Ed raised his eyebrows at the sharpness of her tone. "Brooke?"

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just…I have a lot on my mind."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. But, I assume you're gonna make me?"

Ed finally took a drink. "No," he said hesitantly, "I'm not gonna make you do anything."

Brooke pressed her lips in a straight line. "You know," she began softly, "I always thought…I was good with change. I mean, look at how we grew up, changed schools three times in two years, got through a divorce, mom remarrying. Then, Sarah moving back here, you and Olivia, and Noah…all of it. I've been good with all of it."

"And now you're not?" Ed asked, disappointed.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. "Sonny's living with me. Sonny, I'm sure," she smiled through a sigh, "Wants to marry me. And I keep hoping he's not going to ask because I'm not confident I'll say yes."

"You don't have to say yes."

Brooke leaned forward, urgency in her eyes, "But why not?"

"Why not what?"

"I'd be stupid not to marry him. He's perfect."

"It's a big step, Brooke," Ed counseled, "Not being ready to get married doesn't mean you don't want to marry him or you don't love him."

"Dad, why did we not talk like this when I was growing up?"

The question startled Ed. "I dunno. How many young girls talk like this with their dads?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why are you and Olivia doing this? I mean. You have everything. A beautiful wife. A son. I just don't get it."

Somewhat baffled, Ed forced a sympathetic smile. He and Olivia both expected any criticism to come from Sarah, not Brooke. His older daughter rolled with the punches and never expressed any extreme emotional highs or lows. Perhaps the baby news came at a bad time, given that she was apparently wrestling with other things in her life. Ed wanted to be annoyed, but Brooke appeared genuinely concerned and perplexed.

Ed started at the beginning.

"A few months ago…I brought it up. It kinda popped in my head."

"During sex?"

Happy to see a smile on her face, Ed nodded sheepishly and continued. "We'd batted around the idea of another kid before, but never seriously and I didn't know she'd had the cryo procedure done. I know it seems selfish, and maybe it is, but I, _we_ , want something that's a part of both of us. And as long as there's even a minute possibility that we can make it happen, we're gonna do it."

There. He was kind and calm but resolute.

"How do you plan to explain that to Noah?"

"Not sure it'll need explaining. Olivia adopted him before she and I got together. He's as much my son as this new baby will be my child. He _is_ my son. There'll never be any competition between him and his brother or sister, at least not any that comes from me and Liv."

Realizing her Dad wasn't going to completely blow up at her, Brooke fired more questions. "You don't think you're too old?"

"No."

Brooke regarded him skeptically.

"You think we're too old," he concluded, "But I'm sure a lotta people will think the same thing. I don't really have a response for that other than, no."

"Okay, we can agree to disagree on that one I guess."

"So…you're not gonna be happy for us, love your new brother or sister because you think we're too old?" Edginess started to surface in Ed's voice.

Brooke didn't want to argue, but she did want to make her point very clear. "Don't be ridiculous. I just can't help but worry. What if you don't live as long as you think you'll live? Is that really fair to this kid? To lose his or her Dad in high school? Or earlier? Are you really gonna want to chase around a little kid when you're sixty?"

Ed leaned forward and reached for her hand. Intensity oozed from his blue eyes. "Yes I do. I know you think we've rushed into this, but we've thought about all of this. Every single detail. This is what we want, and I can't constantly worry about things we can't control. We already have Noah. He already has older parents. And now he's gonna have a sibling close to his age, so, if something tragic happens, at least they'll have each other."

There was something endearing about her father just then, and Brooke's heart and attitude softened. Under the harsh glare of his daughter's judgement, Ed held firm and delivered honest, heartfelt answers, but there was something else in his tone and in his expression. He needed her support. He was desperate for it. And despite her reservations, she knew the right thing to do was to set aside her objections and simply love him, Olivia, Noah, and, eventually, her new sibling.

"Okay, Dad." She extracted her hands from his and patted his forearms. "I'm still worried. I'll be worried until the baby's born. But…I think I get it now. You and Olivia have my support, and I'll be there for you for this entire process. I promise."

Truly relieved, Ed replied, "Thank you, sweetheart."

…..

At the gym, Ed waited for Noah's instructor to wrap up the day's lesson. Surrounding him were other parents, mostly younger, but some gray like him which he found oddly comforting. At the other end of the seating area, a forty-something father stood behind a stroller, and even without looking, Ed could tell the baby was young. Slowly, he stepped in their direction, pretending he was trying to get a better look at Noah's group, until he was able to get a view of the baby. Sure enough, inside was a bundled, sleeping, cherubic infant. Ed nodded to the man, and, even though he knew men didn't really _do_ this, he struck up a conversation.

"How old?"

"One month," he answered proudly, "And already much easier that that one." He jerked his head in the direction of the children who were taking turns on the balance beam.

Ed chuckled knowingly.

"Yeah, seemed like it took her a year to sleep through the night. Had trouble eating. But, him," the dad gazed at his newborn son, "It's a snap. Which is good, 'cause my wife wants another one eventually."

"I have two older daughters," Ed said, "And I cannot tell you how much easier he is." This was probably an unfair comment, considering how tumultuous his first marriage was, but he was happy to banter with the stranger.

"I have an adult son. So when Lila, that's her on the beam now, came along, I had no clue what to do. Still don't, really. Poor thing. Destined to be a tomboy. My wife's on Wall Street and I'm semi-retired, so I'm on childcare duties most of the time." The man watched his daughter closely and he grinned when she completed the path along the beam without falling. "That's my girl," he mumbled, "Good job, Li."

Ed wanted to hug the guy. He also wanted to ask more questions, but class was ending and Noah came trotting over.

"See me on da beam?"

"I did, No! Good job. That looked hard."

Noah shook his head, "Not hard. It easy. Just haveta bal- _ance_ and hold out your arms. Like dis!"

Noah walked a few paces, imitating his balance beam pace.

"You're great at that, pal. Next week I'll stay the whole time and watch ya."

Lila finally made her way over. To the amusement of her father the delay was due to her chatting away with a few other girls. "Hello, social butterfly," he said to her and then turned to Ed, "She's definitely going to have no problem making friends."

Sure enough, Lila gave Noah a pat on the back. "Good job!" She exclaimed. Noah giggled and copied her.

"Well, nice talkin' to ya," Ed offered his hand and the man shook it firmly, "Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

"You too. See ya next weekend. Oh, I'm Paul, by the way, Paul Thomason."

"Ed Tucker. And my boy's Noah."

"Nice to meet you both. We're off to a birthday party in a couple hours, but next weekend let's all grab lunch after."

"Sounds good."

Noah wanted to show Ed a few tumbling skills he'd learned that day, so they said goodbye to the Thomasons and headed over to a free mat. Noah performed a few somersaults and some sort of barrel roll Ed assumed was improvised. Nevertheless, he looked on patiently.

"I can stand on my head!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah buried the top of his head in the mat and positioned his hands next to his ears. He kicked his legs in the air and managed to stay balanced for a second or two before he crashed back into the padding.

After the fifth or sixth attempt, Ed suggested they leave and take Olivia some lunch.

"We bring somethin' from da pub?"

"Well, we just ate there last night, pal. What else sounds good?"

"Hoddog!"

"Alright. We can get hot dogs, but we'll take Mommy a sandwich."

They stopped at a local deli with an extensive menu so they didn't have to make two stops. Ed ordered hot dogs and fried for him and Noah and a cold turkey club and chips for Olivia, knowing she might not be able to eat the food right away. When they got to the precinct, everyone was working at their desks. It was strangely quiet, so Ed assumed they'd caught something major that morning and were in the beginning stages of the investigation.

With uniformed officers and other staff milling about, nobody noticed Ed and Noah until the little boy approached Carisi's desk.

"Hi Sonny!"

"Noah!" Carisi lifted him so he was sitting on the desk next to his laptop. "Good to see you, pal! Haven't seen ya in a while!"

"You be p'lice, Sonny!" Noah craned his neck and peered at the laptop, "Dat a bad guy?"

"Maybe," Sonny replied.

Ed held up the food, "C'mon, No. Let's give this to Mommy."

"Wanna stay wiff Sonny!"

"He's okay, Captain. I need a little break anyway."

"Yeah, okay," Ed mumbled, "No, just a few minutes then come eat your lunch."

"Kay!"

Ed said hello to Fin and Rollins and entered Olivia's office and sized up his wife approvingly. Her coloring was robust and healthy. He knew it wasn't possible that her appearance would change overnight, but he swore she was glowing. She'd pulled her hair back and secured it with a clip, so loose strands framed her face and her oversized glasses gave her a sexy, businesslike aura which Ed found irresistible.

"Wanna take a lunch break?" He asked softly and held up the takeout bag.

Olivia liked how, in the age of constant communication, Ed still showed up unannounced every once in a while. "Sure," she cooed. "How was gymnastics?"

"Good. Spent the first part of it having coffee with Brooke." Ed handed Olivia her Styrofoam container and a plastic-wrapped set of utensils.

Olivia cringed slightly. She knew many parents left during the gymnastics lessons and that it was perfectly okay, but she never did. Maybe it was because Ed had been a parent for longer and during a different era, but he never thought twice about dropping Noah off for lessons or at school.

"How's she?"

"A mess, actually," Ed reported.

"A mess?"

"If it's not one daughter it's the other."

"What's wrong?"

Ed swallowed his first bite. "It seems, our news, well, it came at a time when she's tryin' to figure out where her life's headed."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Carisi problems?"

"Not problems, exactly, more like…it's too good."

"Too good?" Olivia tore open a mustard packet and spread it on the top piece of bread. She scrutinized the rest of the sandwich and pulled out the tomato.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Tomato looks bad," Olivia remarked matter-of-factly, "So, what's too good?"

"She's worried he's gonna propose, and she doesn't know how she feels about that."

Olivia smiled thoughtfully, "I can relate."

Ed smirked, "And she thinks we're too old to have another kid."

"I think we both knew that's how she felt."

"There's a little more to it. With all this going on, she's thinking of all these worst-case scenarios."

"And let me guess," Olivia replied knowingly, "She thinks we haven't?"

Smiling as he popped a fry into his mouth, Ed teased, "You're such a _cop_."

"So are you."

"What're you workin' on? Bringing someone in?"

"We're close."

"I wanna stay and watch you interrogate him."

" _Stop_."

"It's sexy, Lieutenant."

"Have you actually seen me interrogate anyone?"

"Couple a times." Ed took a deep breath and sighed, " _Damn_. So sexy."

With a furrowed brow, Olivia asked, "How do you remember all of these… _instances_?"

"Easy. I remember everything involving you," Ed replied, eyes dancing with affection. "Thought you'd realize that by now."

"I guess I should. But…you're not staying for any interrogations."

"Please?"

"No."

"Alright. But you'll gimme the recap later?"

"I will." Out in the squad room, Fin and Rollins were hovered over a laptop. Rollins' eyes kept drifting to Olivia's office, obviously waiting until the last minute to interrupt. She didn't have to. Noah sprinted from the break room, weaved in between the desks, and came into Olivia's office triumphantly holding an unopened soda.

"Sonny gived me dis!"

Carisi trailed him, "Uh, I didn't exactly give it to him. He swiped it from the machine before I could get it. He's…quick."

Noah fumbled with the pop top. "Gotta get dis open."

"Hey, bud," Ed motioned for Noah to give him the can, "How bout we give Sonny back his soda and we'll head home. You need to eat your hot dog and Mommy has to work."

"It MY drink! Sonny gived it to me!"

"He's right," Sonny replied sheepishly, "I bought it for him. But he was supposed to keep that between us."

Olivia scoffed playfully, "Well, sweet boy, I see you have two people in your life who sneak you soda."

"Who?" Ed asked innocently. "Sonny and Sarah?"

"No," Olivia retorted, "Sonny and _Daddy_."

Ed simpered at Noah, "Well, bud, we can't get anything past Mommy. We're busted."

"Busted," Noah mumbled, trying to make sense of the word.

"Busted," Olivia confirmed. "Now, c'mere and give me a kiss." Noah ran over and climbed into Olivia's lap. "I love you, Noah," she purred, "I love you so much, sweetie."

"Luvvvyou, Mommy." Noah's voice was muffled slightly since Olivia held him to her so tightly. When she loosened her grip, Noah tilted his head back and asked, wide-eyed, "We still busted?"

"Yes, baby boy. Yes you are."

…

The Saturday night bar crowd at the Landmark Tavern was heavy, but Sarah arrived early and plopped her purse and coat on two additional bar chairs, reserving them for Sonny and Brooke. Having never been here before, she perused the food menu as the bartender prepared her gin-and-tonic.

"Anything else at the moment, young lady?" The grandfatherly bartender asked as he placed the cocktail in front of her.

"No, but, well, I guess I'll order for my sister and her boyfriend." Sarah peered at the taps, "Actually, I have no idea what they'll want. I'm good for now."

Sympathetic to her indecision, he smiled genially and went about his business.

While she waited, Sarah perused Amazon and filled her shopping cart with baby items. Deep down, she, too, had taken on some of Brooke's anxiety, but it was no match for her excitement. Someone else in the family having a baby temporarily relieved her of any pressure to start a family. Of course, no one was actually verbally nudging her toward domesticity and she wasn't currently seeing anyone, but her self-imposed expectations could be shelved for the time being. She felt free.

"These seats taken?"

Carisi and Brooke handed Sarah her belongings and took their seats.

"Hi guyyyys," Sarah greeted them sweetly, "Sonny, I'm glad to see you, I thought you'd be trapped with sex criminals all night."

"We locked 'em all up for the night," Carisi reported, "I'm all yours. Well," he gave Brooke a peck on the cheek, "Yours in particular."

"What have you been doing all day, Brookey? You were gone when I left."

"Not much. Went for a run. Had coffee with Dad. Laundry. You?"

"Brunch with a few coworkers, so basically I've been drinking all day."

"Great."

Sonny ordered beers for himself and Brooke, "Let's just make sure you eat something."

"I know, I know, I always forget that part," Sarah whined, "I'm glad you saw Daddy. You're not gonna be able to avoid him forever."

Brooke glared at Sarah, silently telling her to shut up, but Carisi immediately noticed something was awry. "What?" He asked.

"Oh fuck."

Brooke let out an exasperated breath. "Shit."

Growing more frustrated, Sonny looked back and forth between the sisters. " _What_?"

Wide-eyed, Sarah gulped the rest of her drink and then warned, "You can't tell anybody."

"So I guess we're telling him," Brooke muttered curtly.

" _Tell me what_?"

Sarah scooted closer to Sonny and held his wrists as if she were about to inform him that he was going to be a father. "Daddy and Livvie are gonna have a baby."

"Lieu's PREGNANT?"

" _Shhhhhh_ ," Brooke snapped.

Nobody paid any attention to Carisi's outburst. Sarah giggled, "No, she's not pregnant yet, they're about to be though."

"You don't know that," Brooke argued.

"They've done IVF. It's a matter of time," Sarah pointed out matter-of-factly.

Suddenly aware that she'd been kept in the dark about developments, Brooke cocked her head. "Do you know something I don't know?"

As the sisters exchanged words, Carisi screwed up his face and kept murmuring, "Lieu's pregnant?"

"She's not pregnant yet," Sarah repeated, "Get a grip, Sonny, geez. And, Brookey, yes, since you've been incommunicado for the past two weeks, I _do_ know something you don't know. The embryos are _in_ Livvie. Their appointment was yesterday."

"How in the hell do you know _that_?"

Flabbergasted, Sonny sat back in his chair.

"I was watching Noey when she came back from an appointment last week. She was all giddy about the doctor clearing them for the transfer. That's when she told me about the appointment. And yesterday I texted her, asked her how it went. Everything's been done."

"Why didn't Dad tell me today?"

Sarah shrugged and took a sip of her fresh cocktail, "I dunno. Maybe he thought you knew."

Brooke replayed the conversation and gave her Dad the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps Sarah was right. Turning her attention to Sonny, she put a hand on his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Carisi ran a hand over his head. " _Wow_."

"Do. Not. Say. Anything."

"I'm sure they figure we've told him already," Brooke said pragmatically, "I mean, we're roommates."

Carisi frowned. " _Roommates_?"

Waving her hands in the air, Sarah clarified her sister's comment, "Oh, you know what she means. I'm the third wheel. We don't have a Three's Company thing going on."

Carisi put one arm around Brooke's shoulders and one arm around Sarah's, "I love you," Carisi kissed Brooke's head and then pulled Sarah even closer to his side, "And you're not a third wheel."

"Wait a fucking minute," Sarah sat up super straight, beaming, "When did this _I love you_ business start?"

"A few weeks," Sonny answered.

Brooke buried her head into Sonny's neck, trying to conceal her blushing face.

"Well holy fucking shit," Sarah said with a grin, "There's just way too fucking much to celebrate. I'm so happy I'm not even wallowing in sorrow."

"Sorrow?" Sonny and Brooke said at the same time.

"Yeah," Sarah replied cooly, "If I would've stayed married, tomorrow would be my one-year anniversary."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	5. Chapter 5

**Five**.

Sonny squinted into his beer. "Anniversary?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know I was married before?" The bar had become even busier and louder and Sarah practically had to shout to be heard even though she was within inches of her companions.

"Yeah, of course I knew, I just kinda, well, I never really thought about it."

"Don't worry," Sarah said, "I'm not upset. I've actually almost blocked it out. Like it never happened."

Brooke shot Sarah a desperate look, trying to get her to shift the subject to anything but marriage. Marriage talk made her queasy. Even when she and Sonny were watching television or a movie, if a marriage proposal was part of the story her stomach flip-flopped and she nearly broke into a cold sweat. The reaction bothered her immensely. It had never happened before.

Luckily, Sarah received the message. "Do you two wanna go in on a birthday present for Noah? He has everything a little kid could want, but if we pool our funds, we could go big."

"Big like how?" Sonny asked.

"I really have no idea."

"He might need a new bike," Brooke offered, eternally grateful to her sister for redirecting the conversation, "Interested in that?"

"Maybe," Sarah said slowly, "Or maybe a new iPad? He's still using that old one. Or a Surface tablet? That one has a pen. Yeah, let's get him something like that. I'm gonna have one of our tech guys do a little research on which one would be best for our little artiste."

"His drawings are really good," Sonny remarked, "Really detailed."

"Yeah, he definitely does not get that from me." Sarah paged through the pictures on her phone until she saw one of her favorites. Noah had drawn it in Central Park on a day when she picked him up from school. It amazed her how content he was to be parked on a bench with his device, but even more astounding was the artwork he produced. Somehow he was able to capture the people moving along the busy path in front of him as if they were pictured in a time lapse video. The images blurred across the screen in all different colors. It was the perfect capture of busy New Yorkers.

She shoved the phone in their faces, "Look at this!"

"Wow," Brooke gasped, "That's really good. It looks… _real_."

"I know!" Sarah forced Sonny to take a closer look. "Doesn't it look real, _detective_?"

Obviously uncomfortable, he squirmed in his chair and tilted his head back. Buzzed up Sarah was quickly becoming annoyingly drunk Sarah. However, Brooke sensed something else was bothering him.

"Son?" She asked softly, using a little nickname she rarely uttered publicly.

He blinked and buried his thoughts, "Yeah, uh, that really should be printed. I wonder if it's enlarged if it will still be that high quality."

Sarah speculated that it would still be perfect and vowed to use her Sunday to look into it. She ordered another drink and a round of shots, and she made sure to pick up the tab at the end of the night.

She didn't notice anything off with Sonny and Brooke, but, just after midnight, the two of them had a surreptitious conversation in their bedroom after they were sure Sarah was sufficiently passed out.

"You cannot ever mention this to Sarah or Lieu or anyone else," Sonny whispered.

Shaken, Brooke stopped undressing and stood in front of Sonny in her cotton cami and unzipped jeans. "Mention what?"

"Do you know who Noah's biological father is?"

"No."

"Well I do."

An odd, burning sensation formed in Brooke's throat. She remembered what she and Sarah found when they were trying to find Olivia. She wondered if the newspaper articles held back evidence. "Is Noah really Olivia's kid? Was she raped?"

Sonny screwed up his face, "No, no, nothing like that. She found him in a raid."

"Well, what?"

Carisi scratched his head and then ran his hands up and down his face. Not only did he know an important secret about his Lieutenant, but he was about to reveal an extremely private piece of information. He prefaced it carefully.

"Brooke, I love you."

Slightly irritated, she forced a polite smile, "I love you, too."

"And we're…we obviously know each other pretty well or you wouldnta noticed what you noticed earlier."

"Right," Brooke said slowly.

"We, I, Lieu, Captain Tucker, we all know who Noah's father is."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Will you come over here? You're makin' me nervous."

A tiny bit relieved, Brooke sat on the bed next to Sonny. "Who is it?"

"He's dead. Now. He was a sex trafficker. You musta heard about it. He shot a judge, he—"

Brooke needed no further information. She remembered. " _Fuck_."

"Yeah."

"That was Noah's dad?"

"No," Carisi replied with a firmness Brooke could not remember hearing before, "Captain Tucker is Noah's Dad. That piece of scum Amaro shot? He's nothing." Carisi's eyes went from infuriated to tear-filled.

Brooke cupped one of his cheeks in her hand, "Thank you for telling me," she whispered, "And I understand why Liv and Dad have kept that to themselves. And I'll keep it to myself."

"Thank you. She'd, uh, she'd kill me. Like, take out the Glock and exe—"

He couldn't finish the sentence. Brooke smiled slyly and descended upon him. The only other challenge they had to navigate that night was Sonny's struggle with her bra which she happily and immediately remedied.

….

The doctors advised against having sex in the days between the embryo transfer and the first pregnancy test, so Ed and Olivia endured their longest-ever marital sexual hiatus by spending the hours after Noah went to sleep in each other's arms and under the covers, planning Thanksgiving and Noah's birthday. Ed wanted to host Thanksgiving dinner but knew he would have to convince his mother to relinquish her hold on the holiday. He promised to talk to her over the weekend. Thanksgiving was coming soon. Noah's birthday was easier. Olivia had already booked a two-hour slot at the New York Kids Club. The package was all-inclusive, so all she had to do was produce a credit card and send the pre-printed invitations to school with Noah.

"Then, after that, Christmas shopping," Olivia said brightly. One of the things she loved about her life with a family was the holiday season. Until she had Noah, she'd never really enjoyed it before because she always seemed on the periphery of other people's celebrations. She usually volunteered to work.

"And figurin' out what to do with all the stuff in the office. Gotta get goin' on the nursery. Even though…we'll prolly have a bassinet in here for a while, right?"

"Right," Olivia murmured.

The distance in her voice troubled Ed. "Somethin' the matter?"

Olivia shifted a bit and draped her arm across Ed's torso. He thought it was so she didn't have to look him in the eye, so he sat up, creating room for him to dip his head and look her in the eye.

"Liv?"

Her eyes were already moist with unshed tears.

"Liv, baby, what's wrong?"

She sniffed a few times and composed herself, "I feel so silly…I…I'm scared to plan so soon. Like it'll jinx things. I keep going back and forth from being excited and then being terrified that, tomorrow, we'll get a negative result."

"If we do, we'll try again."

"At what point do we stop trying?"

Ed sat up completely so they were facing each other with their legs crossed. "I don't know. But we're not there, Liv. We're here. About to find out you're pregnant. With our beautiful baby." He held her hands. His eyes never left hers despite her attempts to break free from his gaze. "I'll hold off on what I was talkin' about before…but not for long, Liv. I know it doesn't seem real quite yet, but pretty soon, it will be."

"You're so sure," Olivia mumbled in a shaky voice.

"I'm an optimist," Ed answered brightly, trying to be cute. It worked. The corners of her lips turned upwards and she reached out for him. For several minutes, they embraced. Olivia's tears dripped onto Ed's shoulder and he whispered in her ear.

"I love you. I love our baby. I love our family. I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure everything turns out okay. I don't care what it takes, what it costs, how much time…everything's gonna be okay, Liv. Everything. I love you, baby. I love you."

Trying not to break into all-out sobs, Olivia shuddered. Ed repeated his _I love yous_ over and over until she calmed down. Eventually they laid down again and Ed kissed her head every few minutes until she fell asleep.

…

"I'll call you later with the results."

Jaw set, Ed glared at the doctor and then looked at Olivia with raised eyebrows. _Later_?

The doctor recognized the impatience. "By the end of the day."

Olivia held Ed's hand, but she was significantly more composed and assured than she'd been the previous night, "And then, where do we go from there?"

"Either way, we'll test again in three days. Standard procedure."

"Are there instances of false positives?"

He smiled, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Not many." He closed the two manila folders on his desk, "Just a few hours. Go back to work. Or home. Or," he checked his watch, "have breakfast. I'll have the nurse call you as soon as we have the results. I know how nerve-wracking this is, but, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, everything has gone as planned. It looks good. We have every reason to be optimistic."

Ed finally spoke. "Thanks, Doctor." He stood up, still holding Olivia's hand. "Breakfast? Doctor's orders."

"Okay."

They walked a few blocks to one of several diners Ed knew well from his days as a beat cop. This was another place that had survived gentrification and rising rent prices and Ed took comfort in the cracked faux-leather booths and hard plastic table tops that seemed perpetually and irrevocably sticky. They ordered omelets and ate mostly in contemplative silence while people watching and periodically locking eyes, knowing they were on the cusp of one of the most important moments in their lives.

"I don't want to leave you alone until you get the call," Ed announced as if he'd been wanting to make that statement since leaving the doctor's office.

"I have to go to work, Ed. I'll call you as soon as they call me."

"No," he objected firmly, almost as assertively as he'd even been with her since they'd been married, "I want to find out together."

"You're going to come to the precinct with me? Sit there all day? Come on, Ed," Olivia was trying to be patient, after all, he was only trying to be as supportive as possible. However, she wasn't expecting any news until late that afternoon and if Ed insisted on being by her side the entire day, not only would that arouse suspicion it would be mildly annoying.

"Let's take the day," he suggested. "Please?"

The request was too sincere for Olivia to flippantly brush it off. Despite the hustle and bustle of the past few weeks, she'd managed to stay on top of her administrative duties and, thanks to a drop in overall crime in the city, SVU was no longer stretched thin even though they were still technically a man down. The squad could survive without her for the rest of the day.

"Lemme call Rollins."

Satisfied, Ed sat back and listened as she explained to Rollins that something came up and she would not be coming in at all that day.

"Call me if you catch something major," Olivia directed, "Thank you, Rollins. I owe you."

Ed heard Rollins say something else and then Olivia hung up.

"I'm all yours," she said.

"Yes you are."

"So what are we going to do? Stare at my phone all day?"

"Let's go to a movie."

"A _movie_?" This was not a typical Ed Tucker suggestion.

"Yeah. That'll kill a couple hours. Then we'll have lunch. _Then_ we'll go home and stare at your phone."

Grinning, Olivia reached for the check but Ed swatted her hand away. "On me, Lieutenant."

"Well, thank you," she pretended to be flattered but, for the most part, they'd merged their finances. "What movie do you want to see?"

"I dunno. Something mindless. I'm prolly just gonna kiss you the whole time anyway." Ed tossed a few bills on the table, stood up, and gallantly held out his hand. "C'mon."

…..

Predictably, the movie theatre was nearly empty. Ed directed Olivia to a top row seat and set the large tub of popcorn he insisted on buying on his lap. He munched on the snack and rested his other arm along Olivia's shoulders. She leaned into him, wishing the armrests could be raised. She didn't mind the idea of a movie, but, on second thought, she would've preferred they watch one at home. They chose the newest romantic comedy. The plot had nothing to do with babies and promised zero tragedy. Olivia found it and Ed immediately agreed.

"How many previews are there?" He grumbled, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"A lot."

"When's the last time you went to a movie?"

"A movie that's not animated? I've taken Noah to a few."

"Yeah."

"Titanic?"

"Seriously?"

"I think so."

"Damn, Benson," Every once in a while Tucker still called her that. She ate it up.

"Hey," she chastised him in a harsh but playful whisper, "I don't recall you suggesting a movie date."

"Why would I? Why on Earth would I want to sit in a room with you and a hundred other people and not talk to you? Not see you?" He put the popcorn on the floor and took her face in his hands, "Not get the chance to kiss you." A kiss. Another kiss. And then she tilted her head and pressed the back of his head to her so their lips could remain pressed together. "You are the most interesting, perfect, amazing woman I've ever met, Liv, and I almost, I almost want a girl. Just so she can be just like you."

Olivia collapsed back into her chair. "Why do you always do this?"

The question sounded accusatory, but Olivia's expression betrayed her emotions.

Ed teased her. "Do what?"

"Come up with something so flattering…I almost forget who I am for a second."

"No," he replied, kissing her again, "You don't forget who you are. You realize how it is to be my wife. For us to be married. For me to love you so much I'm never satisfied with the way I show it. That's, I hope, what you feel."

"I love you."

"I love _you_."

"The movie's starting."

Ed took a deep breath and retrieved his popcorn. "Okay." He sighed. "Okay."

….

It was a Thursday, and that meant Brooke retrieved Noah from school. Her new building was only blocks from his and she used the minutes to collect her thoughts. Today was the day Olivia learned whether or not she was pregnant. It still seemed so weird to Brooke, and she couldn't figure out why. She wasn't religious. She'd known a few people who'd had IVF and she realized it was common, almost the norm, for older mothers. She'd promised her support, but something still bothered her and compounding the issue was that she didn't know what exactly that was. Voicing concerns to her Dad only temporarily quelled the pit in her stomach. She'd gushed over the baby gifts Sarah had already purchased. She'd talked with Olivia, albeit awkwardly, about the whole process. Even Sonny was excited and he wasn't even supposed to know. Something nagged at her, and the fact that something nagged at her made her feel guilty. She and Olivia had a great relationship, but Brooke had maintained her distance, alienating herself from the one person who had been motherly towards her. That induced another round of guilt. Olivia was such a good mother…who was she to question her choices?

Sarah was as buoyant as ever—she dove into her new job zealously, loving the perks and realizing that it was a lot easier to delegate that it was to actually _do_. Brooke briefly entertained the idea that her job was her problem. Being a teacher was fairly lucrative, especially when she was paying about an eighth of what she should have been paying in rent. However, she had been coming to realize that she no longer enjoyed her job.

Sonny remained a constant presence and, therefore, a constant source of uncertainty. Some days Brooke thought being married to him was the best compromise for her independent nature. As a cop, he kept odd hours and was often away. On the other hand, she worried about him. She didn't like the unpredictability, particularly when their nights were interrupted and he had to go in. It reminded her of her childhood, and her childhood had been less than ideal.

With all doubts swirling, she entered Noah's school and submitted to the scrutiny that came with a different person picking him up. She came most Thursdays, but she still had to show identification and go through the metal detector. Only when an aide came and nodded her head did Brooke get to leave with her brother.

"How was school today?"

"Good."

"Whadja learn?"

"Adding." He looked up at her as they walked, "We eatin' pizza, Brookey?"

"Yes, sweetheart, we are."

"I hungy."

"Didn't you have lunch?"

"Mommy gived me carrots." Noah turned up his nose.

"Carrots are good for the eyes," Brooke said.

"I have good eyes."

Brooke looked down at Noah who was staring up at her innocently. She couldn't help but remember the articles about the man who she now knew was his father. Noah was so sweet. So good-natured. So polite. Nevertheless, she studied those little eyes for evil.

"Mommy make me eat da carrots," Noah explained, "But Brookey let me eat da PIZZA!" He jumped as he walked, his little backpack jostling up and down. Brooke immediately felt remorseful for her last thought when he expertly stopped at the next intersection, looked up at her sweetly, and said, "I luvvvyou Brookey!"

"I love you, too, No," she said, all the while wondering the name of the next sibling she was going to love by the end of the year.

…..

Ed and Olivia did not have to stare long at the phone. They had lunch and returned home after the movie. Most of their lunch was in containers in the refrigerator. The food was a formality. They were both overcome with nerves.

Olivia called and checked in with Rollins, but she insisted everything was fine. Ed asked if it was okay if he poured a bourbon and Olivia nodded, glad there was something available to take off the edge. At least for him.

She was trying to remain steely, but when her phone rang and she saw it was the doctor, she froze.

"Ed," she gasped.

"Pick up," he urged.

"Okay. Hello?" She listened for a second and then put the phone on speaker. "Hang on a second." She engaged speaker now. Ed was expecting a nurse, but he head their doctor's voice.

"Hey, Mrs. Tucker, I have your results."

"I'm here and so is my husband."

"Well, I have good news. You have elevated HGC levels. You're pregnant."

Silence.

Olivia felt Ed's fingers dig into her shoulders.

"Okay," she said slowly, "Now…um…what?"

"I'll see you back here in three days for another blood test. Assuming we get the same reading, I'll monitor you for the next eight or so weeks. But you, if you don't already have a preferred obstetrician, you need to fine one. But other than that, I'll see you next week."

"Okay," Olivia mumbled, partially paralyzed. She dropped the phone on the couch and turned to Ed. He immediately took her face in his hands.

"I knew it," he said and planted a hard kiss on her lips, "I knew it."

"Still more tests," Olivia reminded him.

"Extra confirmation," he said assuredly, "I knew it."

He was still holding her face as Olivia smiled, "I think I kinda knew it, too," she murmured.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"We're gonna have a baby. It's real."

"It's real."

Ed held her face even more firmly and stared at her with the intensity of the old IAB glare but this time the intensity was only full of love. "I am not gonna fuck this up."

She raised her eyebrows even though her cheeks were pinched between his hands. "What?"

"I fucked up with my first babies. I. Seriously. Fucked it up. And I'm lucky they even talk to me. I promise you, Liv," he kissed her and then looked down at her belly, speaking into it, "And I promise _you_ , I am gonna do everything perfect this time. _I_ am going to be perfect this time.

She caressed his head, "You are perfect, Ed. You don't have to prove anything."

"Yes I do," he retorted, "I haven't been perfect from the beginning. This. Right here. This is the beginning. From here on out. Ed Tucker is perfect." He bent down into her lap and kissed across her torso.

"We'll make mistakes," Olivia mumbled all the while running her fingers through his hair. "We can't always be perfect."

Ed stopped kissing and looked up, meeting her eyes. The intensity of his gaze nearly incapacitated her.

"Yes we can."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	6. Chapter 6

**Six.**

Sarah had to be tamed. Upon hearing the news of the first positive result, she screamed so loudly that her secretary immediately ran into her office, expecting to find something terribly wrong, only to find her boss beaming into her phone. Seventy-two hours later, the Tuckers received the news of the second test and even higher hormone levels which sent Sarah into an elated frenzy. After enduring a late meeting, Sarah went directly to their apartment and practically knocked Olivia over with the force of her hug.

"I'm so excited!" She gushed.

Though wearing the broadest of smiles, Ed asked her to calm down, "We haven't told Noah yet."

Crestfallen and wide-eyed, Sarah asked, "Why not?"

"I have to be monitored closely over the next eight weeks or so," Olivia said with Sarah still glued to her, "We're still in a delicate stage. I'll feel more confident when that part's over."

"Monitor how?" Sarah asked, suddenly concerned.

"They'll do blood tests every few days. Eventually, an ultrasound every week."

Sarah mentally calculated the time in her head. "So, like, the second week in January."

"Yeah."

Undeterred, her excited mood returned, "Good New Years present!"

"And just so ya know," Ed said, "Nobody but us knows for now. Not Liv's squad, not Grandma, just us."

Cringing inside, Sarah thought of Sonny, but she trusted him to keep the information he knew to himself. She vowed to keep silent but wondered if Brooke would. "Got it," she said, "Don't you have to tell your boss, though Livvie?"

"Not yet. The doctors have told me to go about my normal life, make sure I'm eating healthy meals, not drinking of course."

"And no chasing suspects," Ed interjected, "Nothing strenuous."

His tone suggested to Sarah that this had already been discussed and caused a bit of tension between her father and stepmother. "Well, you're the Lieutenant," Sarah reasoned, "How many chases do you really _do_ now?"

"Not many."

"None for the next nine months," Ed added.

"What will you do?" Sarah asked.

"I'll be on desk duty."

"Which she's _supposed_ to be on anyway." Ed realized he was starting to annoy his wife, so he retreated to Noah's room where the little boy was busy rearranging his train track. He absent-mindedly put a few pieces together and listened to Noah explain his project.

He and Olivia were not seeing eye-to-eye on how to juggle her being pregnant and her being commanding officer of SVU. The night before Ed suggested she let the squad and Chief Dodds in on their secret. It was the only way to protect her, he argued. Ed imagined a scenario where Olivia responded to a call and it went south. She would have to choose between her safety and the baby's and that of her squad. He didn't think the secrecy was worth the agony of that decision.

In the wake of all this excitement, Olivia had deployed an odd defense mechanism. She was so scared that something would go tragically wrong that she refused to completely acknowledge reality. She wasn't allowing herself to delve into much excitement. She frowned when Sarah mentioned her growing Amazon cart full of baby items. Ed's plans to start making room for the nursery were still on hold.

" _Daddy_ , I need dat piece."

Ed handed over a curved section of track.

"You have dis one," Noah gave Ed two pieces, "Put 'em togevver."

Ed snapped the pieces into one another, "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Daddy."

Ed dragged Noah into his lap for a hug. "I love you, bud. You're such a good boy."

Noah tried to wriggle out of his grasp, intent on getting back to his project. "Daddy…I making a new track!"

"I know," Ed released him and he picked up where he left off, "Want me to leave you alone?"

"No, Daddy, you build da bridge over here." Noah slapped the corner of the table nearest to Ed with his palm. "And I gonna put dis part wiff dat part and the trains go under an' over!"

Ed got to work constructing the bridge and helped Noah slide his portion of the track underneath. When they had the loop fully completed, Noah connected his trains and tested out the design.

"Great work, bud!"

"Uh-huh!" Noah guided the train up and over the bridge, "Good bridge, Daddy! It worked!"

"Thanks, pal."

One by one, Noah added more cars to the train and it soon became too long and unwieldy so whenever Noah pushed it around a bend, part of it fell to the floor.

"Crash! Uh-oh! Daddy, you fix it!" Noah dumped the damaged cars in Ed's lap and he pretended to knock out the dents and dings. While he worked, Ed imagined fixing toys for the next child. Would he help a little girl construct a doll house? Or would Noah have a little brother who would inherit many of the toys he'd outgrown? Would the boys fight over things like cars and trains? Or would their age difference be just wide enough to prevent those types of arguments? Either way, boy or girl, Ed was looking forward to watching Noah adopt the role of big brother.

"Daddy, Noey, I'm leaving!" Sarah's voice echoed in the hall. She came in, kissed the tops of both their heads. "I probably won't see ya till next week. We're doing Thanksgiving part one here, right?"

"Right," Ed replied. Caroline agreed to let Ed and Olivia host Thanksgiving dinner next Thursday, and she decided to postpone her own celebration until the following Sunday.

"Okay, I'll see ya then!"

"Bye, Sare bear!

"Bye, Noey Boey! You're the best brother!" Sarah winked at Ed.

"You best sister!"

"Love you!"

"Luvvvvvyouuuuu!"

…..

Olivia arrived at the precinct early the day before Thanksgiving. Fortunately, the clinic offered early appointments, so she'd managed not to arouse suspicion by frequently arriving late. By now, Ed was used to the routine. He still accompanied her on these brief visits, but he became content with Olivia delivering blood test results with a phone call rather than insisting on being by her side the entire day. Nevertheless, Olivia knew he probably went through these days with one hand on his phone.

The morning passed uneventfully. Rollins and Fin were preparing for trial and Carisi was catching up on a few loose ends and paperwork from a recently closed case. Olivia was paging through the most recent NYPD crime report when Carisi entered her office with a radio in one hand and his phone in the other.

"Gotta call from the two-two. Little girl, eight years old, disappeared from her school playground. Probably custodial abduction, parents recently divorced. Got a description on the vehicle and a BOLO out."

"Why'd they kick it to us?"

"Husband has a rap sheet. Statutory rape and distributing child porn."

Olivia stood up and grabbed her keys.

Fin poked his head in, "Car was just spotted in Washington Heights. Parked and empty on Broadway at 173rd. Father owns several properties in the area."

"Call hostage negotiation," Olivia directed and then barked directions for patrol to form a perimeter in the area. "I need exact locations of all his properties," Olivia said, "Knock on doors 'til we find them."

Fin nodded and left.

Carisi lingered. "Lieu, me, Rollins, and Fin got this. We're good."

"Don't be ridiculous, Carisi. C'mon. Fill me in on the rest of the details on the way."

The detective didn't move.

Olivia was impatient. "Carisi?"

"We'll bring him in, Lieu."

Carisi harbored serious reservations. A door-to-door canvass, especially one involving an abducted child and custodial issues, was extremely dangerous. They weren't sure whether or not the man was armed. There was the possibility of the perp firing at them from behind closed doors. A foot chase either on the streets or leading to a rooftop was almost inevitable.

Fin and Rollins were already en route, so there was a certain degree of privacy even though they now stood in the middle of the squad room.

Olivia narrowed her eyes, "Carisi, what's going on?

"Lieu, I can't let you do this."

"That's not your call."

Realizing he was on the losing side of this particular battle, Carisi confessed. "Lieu, I know."

"What?"

"About the baby."

Olivia wasn't sure whether to be pissed at Sarah and Brooke for breaking her confidence or heartened by Carisi's concern for her well-being. Perhaps it had been unfair to ask the girls to keep such a serious development from Brooke's live-in boyfriend. Deep down, Olivia had already suspected Carisi knew their secret, but now that he'd confirmed her hunch, she wasn't sure how to respond.

"Look," he continued in a hushed tone, "Your secret's safe with me. But I'll never forgive myself if something happens out there."

"It isn't your job to protect me, Carisi."

"Yes it is. It's our job to protect the public _and_ each other. And you've saved my ass before. This isn't about rank, Lieutenant. Stay here. Dump his phones. Check his finances. Get us the floorplans of the buildings. Tenant lists. _Anything_ ," Carisi pleaded, desperate to get his way on this one and not caring that he was stepping out of line in giving orders to his superior. He pictured Tucker and knew the Captain would agree with him, but, for the moment, he nearly broke into a sweat under the heat of Olivia's indignant glare.

"Fine," she snapped and tossed him her keys. "And…not a word to anyone. Understood?"

"Understood."

…..

Olivia put on an after-dinner movie for Noah and sat at the island as Ed cleaned the kitchen. He carefully placed plates, glasses, and silverware in the dishwasher then hand-washed the pots and pans they'd used to prepare their meal. Olivia lifted her arms as he swiped a cloth across the granite. He rinsed the rag, wrung it out, and asked Olivia if she wanted tea.

"Not yet."

"Alright." He dragged the back of his hand across her cheek. "Doctor say anything else about the tests today?"

"No. Still a couple weeks from the first ultrasound."

"That's gonna be…amazing," Ed said with a smile.

"Sure is."

"We'll hear the heartbeat?"

"Hopefully."

The doubt in her voice bothered him and he couldn't ignore it. "Liv, you know this is happening, right?"

"Of course." She thought her smile was genuine, but Ed knew better.

"Still nervous somethin' will go wrong?"

Olivia rolled a piece of junk mail into a cylinder. "I'm trying not to be. I really am."

Ed walked around the island and loosely wrapped his arms around her so he could still see her face. "I am too, but, the more good news we get, Liv, the more we haveta, well, be happy about it."

"I am happy about it. I just…I need this first trimester to be over. Or maybe the ultrasound will put my mind at ease. I know, feeling this way can't be good, but I can't help it."

"Maybe we need to rethink keeping this to ourselves. Maybe getting everything out in the open will help?"

Olivia laughed derisively, "Did you know the girls told Carisi?"

Ed furrowed his brow, "No. They did?"

She shrugged. "I guess I'm not all that surprised."

"And he told you?"

Olivia rehashed their squad-room conversation. Ed held her hands and looked at her seriously.

"Carisi was right," he said, almost in a whisper, unsure of how she'd respond.

Inside, Olivia seethed. She knew Carisi was right, but, stubbornly, she did not like being handled. "I suppose he was," she muttered. "I…I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. Long day."

"Liv, don't do this." Ed followed her into the bedroom where she flicked on her bedside lamp and sat on the bed. " _Please_."

"Do what?"

"Shut me out." He sat next to her gingerly, thinking she could possibly push him away. "Talk to me, baby. _Please_."

"You're right," Olivia said, her voice trembling, "This is… _surreal_. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in at this amazingly perfect life with all these lucky people playing the parts of my family. And when Carisi said that to me today, he was so worried, it was a major reality check. But how…why didn't I recognize the danger? I'm the _mother_. This child is a part of me…and I was going to go out and intentionally put myself in harm's way." Olivia shook her head shamefully, "Why would I _do_ that?"

Ed pulled her close. "Because you haven't heard the heartbeat yet," he concluded matter-of-factly.

The oversimplified answer was exactly what Olivia needed at that moment. She offered her husband a small, yet earnest, smile and let herself sink into his arms. "I'll call the chief in the morning."

"Good." Ed kissed into her hair, "I know it's gonna be hard to pull back at work, Liv. After all these years going full bore."

Olivia rubbed her stomach and murmured, "I just need to hear that heartbeat."

…..

Caroline arrived early and got right to work in the kitchen. Muttering that she hated turkey but would conform to tradition, she seasoned the bird and put it in the oven "low and slow" and then began preparing the side dishes. Noah had spent most of the morning playing with his cars on a large plastic mat with city streets and buildings printed on it, but when Caroline mentioned making desserts, Noah wandered over to see what was happening.

"Eddie, get me the warming trays. And, did you buy the rolls?"

"Yeah ma, I got the rolls." When he returned to the kitchen with the three-compartment tray he found Noah on the island in front of a large mixing bowl. Caroline was handing him measuring cups and spoons full of ingredients and he dumped them in.

"Whatcha makin' bud?"

"Pie," Noah replied.

"Sounds good."

"It will be good," Caroline said, "Now, Noah, we have to mix this all up so it's nice and smooth." Caroline stirred the pumpkin pie filling first and then handed the large spoon to Noah. "Keep mixing it. Big circles, sweetheart."

Ed heard the master bathroom shower turn off. Olivia had been sluggish that morning and delayed getting ready for their guests until the last minute. She and Ed were both grateful Caroline was there and refused anyone but Noah's help.

"Be right back," Ed muttered.

Olivia stood in front of the bathroom mirror wrapped in a towel, studying herself. Her wet hair was swept up in a clip and scent of her body wash, some type of coconut-vanilla hybrid, wafted from her body.

"Ma's got everything goin' out there."

Olivia breathed deeply. "Already smells so good."

Ed kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her neck, "Ready for today?" Olivia had already informed Chief Dodds of her pregnancy early that morning via a phone call. He took the news in stride and vowed to find her another detective as soon as possible so she could remain on desk duty and out of harm's way. Contrary to Olivia's predictions, the Chief sounded neither surprised nor baffled. He even offered what sounded like a heartfelt "congratulations." After she hung up the phone, she told Ed today would be the day for the big reveal. In addition to Caroline, Rollins and Barba would be in attendance. Fin was planning to stop by even though he and Carisi were on duty. This time of year was usually slow and this year was no exception, so there was a good chance the entire squad would be in attendance.

"I am," she replied. Ed trailed kisses along her shoulder blades. "Mmmmmm, that feels good."

"Yeah," Ed rubbed her arms and reversed direction.

Olivia turned around, angled her head, and kissed him deeply. "I want you," she gasped.

"Not for a while," Ed mumbled, lips still on hers.

"I know," Olivia whispered.

"It's worth it."

"Yeah," Olivia tilted her head back, "But it doesn't change the fact that I want you, Captain." She reached under his untucked polo and massaged his chest.

" _Lieutenant_."

"Sorry." She bit her lip.

"No, no, don't apologize, it's just," Ed looked down. Olivia smiled and he grinned back at her shyly, "I love you so much, Liv."

She clasped her hands around his neck, "Still gonna say that in a few months when I'm huge and cranky and difficult to live with?"

"So much you'll get sick of it."

"I'll never get sick of hearing you say you love me."

….

Finally, the Tucker dining table was pushed to its maximum capacity. When Ed pierced the turkey with his carving knife eleven pairs of eyes looked on. Sarah, already feeling no pain thanks to a few pre-dinner glasses of wine giggled and remarked that she hoped the bird wouldn't explode like the one in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Ed shot her an annoyed glare but quickly went back to work, setting slices onto the silver platter Olivia placed at his side.

Words of appreciation directed at Caroline were spoken throughout the meal, peppered in amongst other conversation. She waved off the compliments and reminded people to take seconds and thirds. At one end of the table, Noah and Jesse entertained one another. Noah adorably boasted that he didn't have to sit in a high chair like Jesse because he was a big boy. Ed caught Olivia's eye and they exchanged an amused yet anxious glance. It was up to Olivia to make the announcement, but Ed knew the moment was soon approaching.

Sarah and Barba unintentionally prodded it along.

She rose and plucked another bottle of wine from the rack, deftly uncorked it, filled her glass and passed it around the table. When Olivia handed the bottle off to Ed, Barba raised his eyebrows and realized she hadn't even had a first glass of wine.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" She responded, a little too quickly.

"Are you on duty tonight?"

"Nope. Off today and tomorrow thanks to Carisi and Fin."

Curiosity flooded the ADA's face. "Then…"

Olivia surveyed the table. Only Ed was listening to their exchange. The others were absorbed in their own side conversations.

She turned to Ed and smiled at him sweetly. She let her palms fall against the table. The noise caused everyone to look up at her.

Sarah was giddy. She knew what was coming. Brooke reached for Sonny's hand under the table. Olivia reached for Ed's hand, making no attempt to conceal it.

"We all, everyone here, we have so much to be thankful for." Olivia made eye contact with each person, "And Ed and I are particularly thankful that we could be all together today. Because, we have a very important announcement to make." She looked at Ed again and the raw bliss in his smile made her breath catch in her throat. She turned back to the guests. "I'm pregnant."

…..

 **How will the others take the news?**

 **#Tuckson**


	7. Chapter 7

**Seven.**

" _Wow_." A combination of admiration and disbelief filled Barba's eyes.

Amanda jumped up and hugged Olivia. "Lieutenant, that's fantastic." She squeezed her firmly, remembering how supportive Olivia had been when she initially informed her of her own pregnancy. Next she hugged Tucker which would have looked awkward to anyone paying attention, but all eyes were on Olivia.

"Thank GAWWWWWD the cat's outta the bag," Sarah exclaimed, "I was simply going to burst if I had to keep it a secret any longer!"

Brooke and Carisi both sat back in their chairs, smiling politely. For them, the big reveal was a tad anticlimactic. Brooke looked over at Noah. He and Jesse were comparing mounds of mashed potatoes and generally making a mess while the adults were distracted.

Caroline ran both hands through her silver pixie cut, "Holy hell, you've gotta be kidding me!" She popped out of her chair and, like Rollins, hugged Olivia. She smoothed her hair and pinched her chin between her thumb and forefinger. "Dearie, how are you feeling? You make sure Eddie takes care of you," she looked over Olivia's head at her son, "You're good for more than just knocking her up, Eddie. You treat her right."

" _Ma_."

"I'm feeling fine so far, Caroline," Olivia replied graciously, "Just a little tired every once in a while."

"How far along are you, Liv?" Fin asked, feeling like he had to say something.

"Only a few weeks," she replied, "I, we wanted to wait a while longer, but being a police officer while also being pregnant was proving to be tricky, so..."

Barba saw and heard the apprehension in his friend's voice and body language. "We're here for you, whatever you need, Liv. Just say the words. Prayers and positive thoughts." He knew Olivia was too pragmatic to fully accept the "prayers," but he figured she'd appreciate the sentiment. Judging by her grateful smile, he was right.

Caroline was still fussing over Olivia. "Make sure you're eating, honey. Three meals a day. And snacks. Your coloring looks good. Whatever you're doing, keep it up."

Olivia nodded.

Caroline moved over to Ed. "And _you_. Here I thought you were about to get a Lazy Boy, get fat, and spend the rest of your life doing crossword puzzles and watching TV."

"That's you, Ma," Ed retorted.

Caroline kissed her son's forehead. "I am not fat. But, congratulations, sweetie."

"And Noah!"

Hearing his name, the little boy's head jerked up.

"Ma," Ed implored, "We haven't explained anything to him yet. We didn't think he'd be able to keep quiet after he understood what was—"

It was too late. Sarah was already up. She'd plucked Noah from his chair and started dancing around the room. "You're gonna be a big brother, Noey Boey!"

"I little bruvvver."

"You're _my_ little brother," Sarah explained, "But Mommy's gonna have a baby and then you'll be a big brother!"

Olivia thought she'd be able to break the news and have everyone return to their food and drinks, but she was wrong. The Tucker Thanksgiving quickly became pleasantly chaotic with Sarah continuing to simplify what was happening for her four-year-old brother and everyone else processing the news.

"When ya have to go on modified duty, Liv?" Fin asked.

"Immediately. Chief Dodds realizes we're short-staffed, so he's promised to get someone new and competent in here by the end of the year."

"We'll all pick up the slack," Rollins added kindly, "Don't push things, Lieutenant. We got it."

"Thanks."

Ed could tell Olivia was becoming uncomfortable with all the attention, and he was annoyed that Sarah was taking it upon herself to explain everything to Noah. He second-guessed their decision to postpone a serious conversation with their son.

"Well, hey," Ed said brightly, "Why don't we have a toast? Dessert?"

"The pies!" Caroline exclaimed. "All this baby business and we forgot about the pies. Now. We have pumpkin and chocolate because there is something dreadfully wrong with Sare bear and she hates pumpkin. I'll serve. Who wants whipped cream? Show of hands?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and deposited Noah on the floor. He ran over to his parents and climbed into Olivia's lap, examining her abdomen. "You have a baby in dere?" Everyone tried to be polite and divert their eyes, but, for better or for worse, this very tender and private moment was occurring in front of everybody.

"Yes, sweet boy. You're going to have a new brother or sister."

"I don't see it."

"No, bud," Ed reached over and mussed his hair. "The baby's really tiny right now."

"In a couple of weeks the doctor is going to use a machine to see inside Mommy's belly," Olivia explained. "And he'll take some pictures. Then you'll be able to see."

"Ohhhh," Noah droned with a scrunched up face. He was still staring at Olivia's midsection.

"The baby be little like Jesse?"

"Even smaller."

Noah held his hands about two inches apart, "Dis big?"

Ed reached over and widened the distance, "Bout this big when he or she's born."

"Baby a boy like me?"

"Don't know yet, bud. Could be a boy. Could be a girl."

"Girl like da sisters?"

"Maybe. Whaddya think about that?"

Noah giggled and curled into Olivia. "Sisters silly!"

"Yeah they are…so it would be okay with you if you had another silly sister?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah said, getting excited and starting to bounce up and down. "Anovver silly sister," he murmured, holding his hands apart again, "Small like dis. Small silly sister!"

Olivia kissed his head and fought back tears. The large family that once seemed so out of reach for her and her little boy was expanding, and she finally sensed the first waves of uncomplicated happiness.

…

The night didn't end perfectly for everybody. Carisi and Fin ended up having to go out on two separate calls and ended up needing Rollins' assistance. The Sergeant fumbled with her phone and cursed under her breath, hoping her nanny would somehow be able to keep Jesse for a little while. Once Olivia realized what she was doing, she stopped her and insisted Jesse stay with them and Rollins gratefully accepted.

With her boyfriend at work, Brooke offered to drive Caroline back to Riverdale, but Ed, considering the number of empty wine bottles, objected.

"I'll do it," he grumbled.

Olivia put her hand on his forearm. He'd had just as many drinks as Brooke, "No, Ed. Caroline, I'll take you. Let me get my coat. Okay if you stay here with the kids? We won't be long."

All Ed heard was the plural "kids."

 _Kids_.

With an "s."

It's not like he'd never heard or said that before, but hearing Olivia say it was significant. Special. He grinned at her broadly and she had no idea why, "Yeah." He looked at Jesse and Noah, "Wanna watch a movie? No, we gotta watch a Christmas movie tonight. Those are the rules."

Noah grabbed the new tablet his sisters and Carisi gifted him for his fourth birthday and navigated to Netflix where he paged through the possibilities. Sarah praised him for being so tech savvy and curled up with a throw blanket. Ed warned her not to get too comfortable. Jesse was the only non-resident invited to stay the night.

Brooke offered to go along for the ride and the three women left with Caroline gushing about how safe she felt having an armed cop escort her home.

…

Brooke and Olivia hit some traffic on the way back to Manhattan. When they came to a complete stop, Olivia dug in her pocket for her phone and called Ed.

"Hey, we're backed up on the Parkway, so it's taking a little longer. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I will. They are? That's so sweet. Okay, we're moving now. Okay. Love you."

Olivia put the phone in one of the cup holders and groaned. "Can you look at the traffic? I can get off at the next exit if this is bad."

Brooke examined her app and reported a red line stretching in both directions on the West Side Highway.

"Surface streets it is," Olivia said, looking in her mirrors and merging into the right lane. They had about two miles until the next exit.

"Dad going crazy with the three kids yet?"

Olivia laughed, knowing Brooke included Sarah in the calculation. "Noah and Jesse are in the beanbag watching Rudolph and Sarah's asleep."

"Ugh," Brooke groaned, "I better not have to carry her home."

"She can stay over," Olivia said, despite Ed having already spoken out against that arrangement.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have a baby. I don't know if I can raise Sarah and an infant."

An awkward silence filled the car. Olivia and Brooke's relationship hadn't been the same since she learned about them starting IVF, and Olivia was quite astonished that Brooke even mentioned babies.

"Are you scared?" Brooke asked, almost in a whisper. She stared straight ahead and when Olivia glanced at her she saw that stiffly-set Tucker jaw which Brooke rarely displayed.

"A little," Olivia replied. "I get the…I get the sense that you're scared, too."

Brooke took a deep breath before she replied. "I am," she admitted and, immediately, felt a sense of relief she'd been craving for weeks. "I'm happy for you. I really am. I'll just be…happier…in a few months." Brooke smiled, hoping Olivia understood.

"Me too." Olivia steered the sedan onto the exit ramp, "But, you know what? Today? I feel better today after telling everyone. I felt…supported…by the people I love and care about. Even though…probably as we speak, Fin and Rollins are most likely wondering what we were thinking."

"You think?"

"Sure. Debating whether I'm too old. If Ed's too old. If this is even… _right_."

"That's not me," Brooke insisted, "I think it's…special you even have this chance. I just don't want anything bad to happen. You two, and Noah, you're like this little perfect family. Me, Sarah, Sonny, we all look up to you. I don't want anything to ruin that perfection."

Tear-filled eyes almost necessitated Olivia pulling over. She used a stoplight to compose herself.

"Brooke, honey, I get it. And I'm truly sorry you're upset. But today I finally felt comfortable being optimistic. And I'm going to continue to be optimistic. I'm…" Olivia smiled and chuckled disbelievingly, "I'm… _pregnant_."

When they got out of the car, Brooke didn't immediately start walking to the building door. She waited on the sidewalk for Olivia and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "You have my support," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," Olivia croaked. "Everything will be fine. You'll see. Just fine."

…

Fin waited until Carisi was out of earshot to say anything about the Lieutenant's pregnancy. He'd been close to Olivia for a long time, and he rarely questioned her judgement. It seemed wrong for him to question it now when she and Tucker were so happy, but he couldn't help it. Rollins was working away at her desk, trying to rush through the night's reports so she could get Jesse and go home. They'd been busy since they left the Tucker apartment and hadn't had a spare second to air out any thoughts regarding the life-altering news.

"So, with IVF, gettin' pregnant that way, what are the chances?"

Rollins briefly looked up, "How do you know it was IVF?"

Fin gave her a funny look, "Liv's almost fifty. Had to be."

"I think the getting pregnant is the hard part. She _is_ pregnant, Fin."

He scratched at his chin, "Alejandro and Ken…they used a surrogate. Wonder why she didn't go that route."

Trying to be patient but also trying to leave, Rollins simultaneously typed and answered his indirect question. "You know Liv."

"How you think Tucker's gonna be as a Dad?"

Squinting, Rollins replied, "He is a Dad."

"I mean with a baby. He's so…a little rough around the edges."

"He's a sweetheart."

"A _sweetheart_?"

"You two callin' each other sweetheart now?" Carisi returned from the breakroom with a soda and a bag of chips. "I dunno why I'm eating. I'm _not_ hungry at all."

Realizing Carisi probably had better answers than Rollins, Fin began lobbing questions his way. "So how long you known about this?"

Feeling haughty about being in the Tuckers' inner circle, Carisi gloated, "Since the beginning."

"And you didn't tell us."

"Brooke woulda killed me. Lieu woulda killed me. Captain Tucker. He _really_ woulda killed me."

"How're Tuckers daughters feelin' about all this?"

"Sarah's thrilled. Brooke's nervous. She keeps lookin' up all these articles about IVF and older mothers and basically scaring herself. You know how it is? When you're sick and you look on Web MD and it tells you you're, like, dying?"

"I'm sure Liv and Tucker weighed the pros and cons. Just seems weird," Fin remarked, almost embarrassed to admit he felt that way.

Rollins took offense. "Why's it weird? She and Tucker haven't even been married a year. If they met earlier in life nobody would think it's weird. Women are having healthy babies later and later in life. It's not like Liv's still a single mother and went and did this on her own. She and Tucker want a biological child and they made it happen."

"We need to be there for her," Carisi added.

"We will be," Fin replied, "I'm not sayin' that. But you gotta see my perspective. After all these years of knowing Liv, it's only been in the past three that she's this whole different person—a mom, a wife… _Tucker's_ wife. Just another thing to get used to I guess. The job used to be her life…she used to be like us."

Obviously ready to leave, Rollins closed her laptop and gave Fin an exasperated look. He wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "You mean like _you_ , Fin."

He let the comment sink in and twisted his lips contemplatively. "Got me there, Rollins."

….

Before dawn the next morning Ed awoke and found himself alone in bed. Light filtered into the room from under the closed bathroom door. He got up and gently rapped on it.

"Liv?"

"Yes?" She said weakly.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Ed opened the door. Olivia braced herself against the counter with both hands. Water dripped from her face and into the sink. A few damp strands of hair clung to her cheeks, but most of her brown locks were swept up and secured by an elastic band.

Unsure whether or not he should touch her, he maintained a safe distance.

"Remember when your mom asked how I was feeling and I said I was just a little tired?"

"Yeah," Ed was relieved to hear a little playfulness in her voice.

"Well I need to revise that statement."

Cautiously, he stepped toward her and put a hand on her lower back. "You throw up?"

"Twice."

"We have ginger ale. I think Sprite, too."

"Thank you."

"Wanna come out to the sofa or you gonna stay here?"

Olivia splashed more water onto her face. She reached for a towel, but it had slipped off the rack and onto the floor. Ed picked it up and dabbed at her face. With his other hand he brushed back the stray locks. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and she hadn't been very thorough in removing her makeup, so her eyes were surrounded with black smears. Disheveled, but no less beautiful.

"Sofa sounds good. I…I think I'm done puking for a few minutes."

Ed tossed the towel aside and led her to the sofa. Ed touched her cheek gently. "Want ice?"

"Please. Something really cold sounds good."

Ed was quickly back by her side. "Here ya go. It's the ginger ale, those were already in the fridge. I put some Sprites in the freezer. Want anything else? Crackers? I'm not sure if we have Saltines, but I'll go get some."

"No, I don't want to eat anything right now. Just sit with me, okay?"

"Okay." Ed sat next to her and put his feet on the coffee table. Olivia initially put her head on his shoulder so she could sip the soda but after only a few minutes, fatigue set in and the queasiness dissipated. She used his thigh for a pillow and stretched out on her back.

"Want a blanket?"

"Not right now."

Ed lightly patted her just above the waistband of her pajama pants. "Let Mommy get some sleep, Baby Tucker," he whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled, thinking of the minuscule, precious life inside of her and feeling absolutely secure in her husband's care. No longer feeling his touch, she moaned a little.

"Alright?"

She blindly felt around and he grabbed her hand.

"That's what I want," she mumbled sleepily. She turned on her side and hugged his arm against her collarbone. "Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"Is the blanket right there?"

Ed contorted his body, reached for the blanket, and expertly unfurled it one handed over his wife.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Go back to sleep, Liv."

"You're not going to sleep sitting up like that."

"I'll take a nap later. You're the priority." Ed bent himself nearly in half and kissed her head. "You're _always_ the priority."

"Remember when you said you're going to be perfect?"

"Of course."

"You are."

"So are you."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	8. Chapter 8

**Eight.**

The bar Cole had pinpointed as the meeting place was unfamiliar to Ed. His former partner was in Chelsea shopping with his wife and daughter. Out of the blue, the two of them decided to get mani-pedis, so Cole called Tucker. Ed had tried to arrange drinks a few times in the past week, but Cole never had ample space in his schedule until now. At first, Ed declined, but when Olivia found out, she practically shoved him out of the apartment, reminding him he needed to take some time for himself and she and Noah would be fine at home. There was laundry to do and they owed Noah some badly-needed outside time.

"You sure?" Ed flashed back to all the times when, as a young cop, he would disappear into bars after his shift and lie about being roped into overtime, all to avoid going home. Now he was desperately trying to stay.

Olivia was steadfast, "Yes. We're good. And I know you want to tell Cole in person."

"Okay," Ed reluctantly agreed, eyeing Noah. "You alright, bud?"

Noah dragged his shirtsleeve across his nose. "I sniffly."

Not about to let Ed to stay at home simply because Noah had a runny nose, Olivia grabbed her husband's wallet from the island, slid it in his back pocket, and pushed him to the door by his hips.

"He's probably just getting a little cold. No fever. _Go_."

Once they were at the door, she handed him his jacket and gave him a kiss.

"Tell Cole hello for me."

"Yes ma'am. Will do."

The bar was significantly more upscale than their usual meeting spots. Large windows allowed in natural light, fancy flat-screen televisions were mounted everywhere, and, when Ed sat down, he was presented with an elaborate menu labeled _Libations_. He politely pushed it to the side and ordered a bourbon.

"Which one, sir?" The bartender tried to put the drink list in front of him again, but Ed jerked his thumb at Cole's drink.

"Whatever that is."

"That's Hudson Baby."

Startled, Ed choked out, " _What_?"

"Distilled in-state," the young man explained proudly, "I'll give you a little sample first. It's one-hundred percent corn, so it tastes a little different."

Ed swilled the drip of a sample. It was different, but good. He ordered one of his own and then shook Cole's hand.

"Happy belated Thanksgiving. Have a good holiday?"

"We did," Cole said, "Spent it at Janine's mother's house in New Jersey. You?"

"Our house."

"Job?"

"It's picked up a little. This time of year we're gettin' a lot of petitions, people wantin' their boyfriends and girlfriends and whoever else home for Christmas. IAB?"

"Slow," Cole reported, "Which is fine. Kids have a lot goin' on this time of year."

Ed sipped his drink. "Speaking of kids…"

"Everything okay with Noah?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's great." Tucker sipped and looked up at the television. "We're, uh, Liv's pregnant."

Cole chose the wrong time to take a drink. He coughed, sipped again, and rammed his fist into Tucker's shoulder before squinting in disbelief, " _Pregnant_?"

"Yep."

" _Damn_ , Tucker. Intentional?"

"Kinda had to be."

Cole nodded. "Everything going okay so far?"

"So far so good. But it's still early. We weren't going to tell anyone until after the first trimester, but with this being high-risk and Liv's job…we kinda had to."

"Well, congratulations, man," Cole gave Tucker a collegial hug. "Good for you two. And for your boy. It'll be nice for him to have a brother or sister to grow up with."

"I appreciate it, Cole."

"Girls excited?"

"Sarah is. Brooke thinks we're too old and is a little freaked out about the whole thing."

"She'll come around."

"Hope so."

Cole downed the rest of his drink. "You gonna have time for another one?"

"Prolly," Ed produced his phone from his jacket pocket, "Just let me check in with Liv."

Amused, Cole observed his former partner, once aloof and austere, make a sweet, tender phone call to his wife. This version of Captain Tucker impressed Cole.

"I'm good for a little while," Ed reported, "I think Liv might be a little glad I got outta the house." He chuckled to himself and then noticed Cole's silly smirk. " _What_?"

"Nothin," he muttered, "Just thinkin' that it's a real good thing you left IAB."

….

Ed returned home with a few groceries, including saltines. He entered quietly, correctly guessing that his wife and son were napping. They were both snug in the king-sized bed and Ed resisted the urge to smother both of them with kisses. Instead, he tiptoed back to the kitchen and stowed the groceries. Having nothing else to do, he began disposing of Thanksgiving leftovers he knew they would never eat. He quietly tied up the trash and took it down the hall to the chute. On the way back he heard a baby crying and smiled to himself. They had a long wait ahead of them, but Ed hoped, no, he assumed, it would pass quickly, and sometime in the late summer of 2018 they would welcome their new baby boy or girl.

Even though he knew he shouldn't, he poured himself another drink and sat at the island, thinking pleasant thoughts. He remembered Sarah and Brooke as infants. They had both looked almost exactly like him—swaths of dark hair, blue eyes, defined features. Later on the dark hair lightened to a dark blonde, Brooke filled out a bit and her face took on a rounder shape, but Sarah, other than the hair color, never changed. One running family joke was that her school pictures always looked the same. Tucker tried to remember holding his girls as newborns, but he couldn't pinpoint the feeling. For a second he got a little nervous, hoping his first time holding his new son or daughter wouldn't be too awkward, hoping that he could at least pretend that he knew what he was doing.

He pictured himself being the only one able to soothe the fussy infant. He heard the first "Dada." He thought about shopping for another set of little-kid soccer cleats.

The reactions of his friends and family were as expected. Those who were genuinely happy, like Sarah and Caroline, showed it. Those who were skeptical, for whatever reason, outwardly expressed and conveyed their joy, and up until now, those people bothered Ed because they bothered Olivia. Setting his jaw after taking a drink, he declared that sentiment a matter of the past. People were either with them or not; and he had no room in his life for the people who were not going to at least be supportive.

"How long have you been home?"

Olivia's hoarse voice sent pleasant chills up and down his spine and he spun around, greeting her with the same satisfied smirk he'd been wearing all day. "About a half hour. Did I wake you?"

"No."

She walked into his embrace. She could tell he'd spent the afternoon drinking. The earthy smell of bourbon emanated from him, but he seemed composed.

"Noah's not feeling great. Still no fever, but I gave him some cold medicine. Hopefully part of it is that he just needs sleep."

"I knew I shouldnta—"

"Ed, he was going to not feel well whether you were here or not."

"I know, I just…"

"Feel responsible?"

"More than that."

Olivia winked at him with a combination of affection and joviality and reached for a fresh glass. She tried the icemaker, but the machine growled and hummed instead of sending ice cubes into her glass.

"Dammit," Ed muttered. He opened the freezer door, but it was immediately apparent that the icemaker was not the only problem. "Shit."

"What?"

Ed produced the exploded cans of Sprite, "Can I interest you in a…lemon lime sno-cone?"

Olivia laughed. " _That's_ what I heard."

Ed dropped the cans into the sink and banged on the troublesome freezer compartment. Once he saw cracks in the large ice block, he grabbed a dishtowel and did his best to clean up the exploded soda. "Fixed," he announced, "What can I getcha?"

"Actually, tea sounds good." Olivia opened the pantry and produced a box of chamomile tea which Ed immediately took from her.

"I got it. Go sit down."

"Ed, I'm fine."

"I _know_ ," He kissed her nose playfully, "And I wanna make sure you stay fine. _Sit_ _down_."

….

Pacing the center of the Lieutenant's office, ADA Barba wondered if it was finally time for a career change. He'd had his eye on either a judgeship or a seat in the state assembly for some time now, and cases like the one SVU was currently embroiled in made him think it was time to pass the reins to someone younger and less jaded. Despite awareness campaigns and increased surveillance, there seemed to be no end, no solution, for obstructing the work of sex traffickers. This latest bust had been so brazen and the trafficked girls had been so brainwashed, that even Olivia was close to giving up.

She slammed the door of the interrogation room in frustration and stood at the window of the opposite room with her hands on her hips.

"We get anything from her?"

"Nope," he responded curtly.

Olivia dug her fingertips into her forehead. "I don't get it," she lamented. "Well, I _do_ get it. But, we're gonna have to cut them loose."

"Except the ones who are underage."

"And they'll find some way out of whatever group home they're placed in."

An idea popped into Barba's head. "Have you heard anything from Declan?"

"No…but this party…this was a little low-rent for him."

"Is there a difference?" Barba snapped. "They're buying and selling girls as slaves."

Olivia raised her eyebrows and looked him up and down. "Yes, there is a difference. Declan's embedded in a ring operating out of Eastern Europe. When we busted him, none of the girls were from the United States. These girls…they sound local." Olivia rapped on the glass and Carisi and Rollins left the room.

"Nothin, Lieutenant," Carisi reported.

"I know. Look, we have twenty-four hours. Find out everything you can about the loft. Who owns it, who rents it, who goes in and out."

The Sergeant and the Detective joined Fin in the squad room. Olivia retreated to her chair and Barba sat in front of her, clearly annoyed.

"I admire you, Liv. Raising one and about to be two little kids in this world…I couldn't do it."

"It's scary," Olivia admitted, "But worth it."

"Hmph."

"You ever think about having kids?"

"Me?" Barba blushed a little and diverted his eyes. "No."

Recalling the only and only time he'd held Noah, Olivia didn't challenge him.

"This one going to be it for you?"

For some reason, the question surprised Olivia. She'd never thought about it, only assumed this would be her one and only pregnancy which was why it mattered so much that everything go perfectly.

"Yes," she answered unequivocally. "This is it."

"You want a boy or a girl?"

"A want a healthy child."

"That's what everyone says."

"Of course they do. It's true."

Barba's eyes sparkled, "It's okay if you want a little girl, Liv."

"I can't even think about it right now."

The underlying uncertainty clouding her excitement was apparent. "What's the timetable?"

"We have the first ultrasound next week. Every test…it's come back positive. But, like Ed said, I need to _see_ for myself that this is really happening."

"How many weeks will that be?"

"About five and a half."

Rollins popped her head in. "Lieutenant?"

"Hey."

"Fin and Carisi have something they want to run past Barba. And," she walked in, holding her laptop, "There's something you should probably see. Surveillance from the building."

"Please tell me we don't have another Catholic Church scandal on our hands."

"No…not that bad. I don't think. Well, it's all bad."

Barba went out to see whatever the two detectives had waiting for him and the Sergeant and Lieutenant pored over the footage.

All Olivia could do was shake her head. "Well isn't this just the greatest early Christmas present for the City of New York."

Rollins groaned. " _Right_."

"I need to call the Chief."

Taking this as her cue to leave, Rollins left her laptop and started striding toward the door.

"Rollins?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Have you heard from Declan?"

Amanda managed a snarky laugh and rolled her eyes. "Every month or so we get a package. No return address." Then she understood the true intent of Olivia's question. "This doesn't seem like his ring. This isn't as…sophisticated."

Olivia nodded. "My thoughts exactly."

Rollins nodded and walked away, leaving Olivia to her phone call and feeling gratitude toward her number two who, so far, was the only person in the squad treating her normally.

…

"Captain Tucker?"

Ed had been pretending to review some case files and was grateful for the interruption. Carisi stood in front of him in a neatly tailored and pressed navy suit, white shirt, and paisley tie. The kid, as Tucker called him even though he knew Carisi was well into his thirties, was always well dressed, but today he looked extra sharp.

"Carisi, how many times do I haveta tell ya? Call me Ed."

"Okay, sir, uh, Captain."

Ed smiled to himself and told him to take a seat.

"What's goin on?"

Carisi sat as straight as possible in his chair and stared at a man who he considered to be one of the best police officers in New York. Tucker even _looked_ like a cop—steely-eyed, square-jawed, deep voice. The guy could be intimidating as hell. Despite having seen him in many non-NYPD circumstances, Carisi was nervous.

"Captain." He couldn't find words. Maybe it was better if he just showed him. Carisi dug into his pockets while Ed waited for him to say something else. He felt the heat of Tucker's glare, even though the older man's expression was far from menacing.

On the other side of the desk, Tucker settled in and scrutinized Carisi as he fumbled around. Ed chuckled quietly. How times had changed.

Sonny held out a small box that obviously contained a ring.

"I'm flattered," Ed deadpanned, "But I'm already married."

Carisi laughed and fell back into one of the chairs, relieved. "I wanna ask Brooke to marry me, Captain. And I want your blessing to do that."

Ed folded his hands in front of him. He appreciated what Carisi was doing, but he wanted to save him from heartbreak.

"You're a good man, Carisi. A real good man. And I'd be honored to have you officially part of our family. You have my blessing," he said.

A wide smile formed on Sonny's face.

"But you haveta wait."

Sonny stared at Ed who looked around the office, hoping against hope his wife would unexpectedly emerge and help him navigate this sensitive topic. But he was on his own for this one.

"Carisi."

Ed was obviously uncomfortable.

"Cap," Carisi started before he could continue his thought, "I _Love_ her. I know she loves me."

"Trust me. You need to wait."

"Wait for what?"

Ed took a deep breath and invited Sonny into the office. "Brooke isn't ready for all of this."

She acts like she is.

"That's because she thinks she's supposed to be."

In his disappointment, Carisi appeared almost petulant. "What is it I have to do?"

"Keep doin' what you're doin."

"Cap, I'm almost forty years old," Carisi pressed his palms against his own chest, "I know what I want. Brooke's young but not that young. We've been living together for a few months now, and it's great, even with Sarah, _sorry_ , it's great. I dunno what else I can do or say to prove to her that we're…we deserve to be man and wife."

Ed leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk. "Carisi, I'm gonna level with ya. Both my girls have incredibly low expectations of marriage."

"I know. Which is weird because you and Lieu, you're like…perfect."

"I'm sure, deep down, at least one of 'em is waiting for the bottom to drop out on that." Ed's statement was true, but he tried to deliver it jokingly; Carisi didn't seem amused. "Because of what happened in my first marriage," he explained, trying to set the younger man's mind at ease. "This one…this is forever."

"Brooke needs to realize I'm not you thirty years ago."

"Yeah…she does."

Carisi grinned, "I don't suppose you can just pick up the phone and call her and tell her that?"

"No. I'm not gonna do that," Ed answered with a chuckle. "And I dunno if she'll believe me anyway."

"Nah. Captain, to be honest? When I first met you? After everything I heard, I wanted to hate you. But I never saw what everyone else talked about."

Hating anyone but rapists and violent criminals seemed way out of Carisi's character and Ed told him so. "In their defense, I deserve a lot of that animosity," Ed added.

"At some point you get forgiven."

"Maybe. But not by everybody. Ya know, though," Ed settled back in his chair, enjoying the little heart-to-heart Carisi initiated. "I never cared about forgiveness…anything like that, until Liv and I started, well, not even seeing each other, when we were able to have an honest discussion."

Carisi was eating this up, "You started getting a little sweet on her early, huh, Captain?"

Turning red, Ed nodded, "There was this time, you know Amaro, well, one of the several times he got into hot water. Some kids shot at his house—"

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. He really got hung out to dry, well almost."

"Yeah. Almost. Anyway, that night, Liv called me. And…I thought it was weird that she would call me because, uh, her boyfriend at the time, Cassidy, he was really the one on the case. I was just supervising. She coulda just called him."

"You're the boss, though, Captain."

Ed thought about his gorgeous wife and the power she wielded over him. He most definitely was no longer the boss when it came to the two of them. "She went by the book," Ed replied. "And at that moment, I knew I could trust her. She didn't think twice to call me. Even her Captain wasn't gonna do it. But she did. And all those years I'd doubted her and her old partner and, basically, everybody, I thought, well, why don't I try something different for once."

Like a little boy on Santa's lap, Carisi sat up, eager for more.

"So…at least when it came to her and her squad, I was able to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I'd never been able to do that before. And she has never, _ever_ , given me reason to think that shift in thinking was wrong."

Flabbergasted, Carisi vigorously rubbed his face. "Does the Lieutenant know all this?"

"Of course."

"Wow. Well, I guess I have a little more work to do, then." Carisi stood up, "Sorry to bother you, Captain."

"Not a bother. Oh, hey, well, lemme at least see the ring."

Carisi flipped open the box. The ring was similar to Olivia's though not as large. A classic diamond solitaire. "It's Titanium," he said.

"You know those can't be sized."

"I know. I did my research."

Ed smiled. He didn't want to know anything else.

"I'll say this again, officially, but, welcome to the family, Carisi."

"Thanks, Captain."

…..

Sarah stacked the baby items in the corner of her bedroom. From atop the bed which he was treating as a trampoline, Noah observed.

"Thasalotta stuff, Sare bear!"

"It's for the baby. Remember the baby?"

"The one in Mommy's tummy?"

"That's the one!" Sarah swiped her glass of wine from her bureau and examined her work. "They, key, Noey, is to buy things that are unisex." She immediately realized the word would be confusing, "That means we need to buy things that are white and yellow and, well, maybe red, because we don't know if it'll be a boy or a girl."

"Iss a girl," Noah said.

"How do you know that?"

Noah resumed jumping. "Silly sisters, silly sisters, silly sisters," he chanted before landing himself on his bottom. "Sare bear?"

"Yeah, No?"

"I still da little bruvver?"

Sarah rushed over and tackled him. "You'll always be my little brother."

"But I big bruvver."

"Yes," Sarah said, "You're my little brother and Brookey's little brother. Because Brooke and I are big. When the new baby is born, she'll be little. And, to her, you'll be big." Noah looked at her intently, trying to understand. Sarah realized she had a prop. "Stay right here, No."

She went into Brooke's room, invaded her closet, and found her first American Girl Doll which had been one of her most precious childhood toys. So precious, she still kept it in the original box and would probably be irritated when she found out Sarah took it out. She showed it to Noah. "Here. See how she's smaller than you?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, the baby's gonna be smaller than you, too. And you'll be bigger. And, so you're the baby's big brother!"

A light seemed to go off and Noah's face brightened as he gradually processed Sarah's example, " _Ohhhhh_."

Sarah hugged him, "And you'll be smaller than me and Brookey for at least the next, well, uh, ten years, but even when you get tall and strong you'll be our little brother 'cuz we're older."

"You old girls?"

"Well," Sarah screwed up her face, "Um, well, yes, no, well, don't _say_ that."

Noah giggled like he always did when his sisters told him not to say something. "Dat a bad word, Sare bear?"

"Yes," she answered definitively, " _Old_ is a very bad word when you're talking about me and Brookey."

….

Typically, Olivia didn't waste any time taking Noah off Sarah and/or Brooke's hands when they helped out with him, but tonight she entered the apartment and immediately made a beeline for the sofa.

"Thank you for taking him on such short notice," Olivia said, obviously exhausted. It was past eleven o'clock. Ed had, yet again, accompanied the DA and other investigators upstate and was on his way back to Manhattan, but rain weather and heavy traffic delayed their return home. She and her squad were gradually making headway along the tentacles of this most recent trafficking ring, but the progress came at very miniscule increments. For the first time in her pregnancy, she wished she could have a drink.

"Livvie? Are you okay?"

Sarah put her hand on Olivia's forehead, knowing the gesture was probably useless but not knowing what else to do.

"I'm tired. Exhausted, actually."

It's almost the weekend," Sarah reasoned, "You can sleep. Actually, why don't you just go home? Noey's already asleep and I can just bring him over a little early in the morning."

Olivia weakly opened her eyes. "You would do that?"

"Of course. He's out like a light in there." She nodded in the direction of her bedroom. "Also I let him stay up kinda late. What time does he have to be at school tomorrow?"

"Eight."

"That's no problem. I'll bring him by at seven and I'll still have time to get ready."

"You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"No," Sarah mused, "I probably don't. But when I'm preggo I'm sure you'll do me the same favor. Or favors. Lotsa favors, actually, you know me."

Olivia managed a laugh. She stood up. "Let me just kiss him goodnight and I'll go. Thank you."

"That's what family's for!"

…

Noah's empty bed didn't alarm Ed, but Olivia sleeping solo in theirs did. Instinctively, his hand reached for his gun and he hissed, " _Liv_."

She didn't move.

He went back to Noah's room and checked the windows. Finding them secure, he made the same inspection of the entire apartment.

Back in the bedroom, he whispered again, this time more loudly, "Liv!"

She jerked, wrinkled her nose, rolled over, and, finally, opened her eyes.

"Where's Noah?"

"At Sarah's," she mumbled.

Ed breathed a sigh of relief, holstered his gun and put it in the cabinet where they stored their weapons out of Noah's reach. He stripped down and put on a pair of boxers then climbed into bed.

"You didn't tell me."

Olivia turned over and forced her eyes open. Ed's eyes were still clouded with terror.

"Oh, God, Ed, I'm sorry." Awake now, she sat up even though he was gently coaxing her back to her pillow. "I was…I got to Sarah's to get him so late and he was already asleep and she offered to let him stay there and bring him by in the morning, so I just came here and…crashed."

"Did you eat dinner?"

Olivia thought. "Yes."

"Liv, I'm sorry I was gone for so long, I—"

"Ed, stop apologizing. You're not doing anything wrong. You're doing your job. I'm doing mine. Some nights are going to be like this one, baby or not. Just…" she played with his earlobe and trailed her other hand down his torso and teasing under his waistband, "Relax."

At the sensation of her moving her hand lower and beginning to stroke him, Ed squeezed his eyes shut, "Liv, the doctor said—"

"What the doctor said was about me, not you." She scooted closer so she could kiss him. Intimacy meant different things for different couples, but a significant part of the Tucker's definition was their very regular lovemaking. Lately, they'd been so busy juggling doctor's appointments, holding a collective breath about test results, and battling Olivia's early-pregnancy symptoms that sex had been the last thing on their minds.

Olivia was exhausted and she assumed her husband was, too, but she missed the feel of his hot, aroused, body against hers and seeing him so upset, so frightened, reminded her of that desire. Yes, their team of doctors had curtailed almost all sexual contact, so Olivia did what she could within those parameters.

Ed threw his head back against the pillows. Between gasps and moans, he mumbled that this wasn't fair, that he couldn't reciprocate, that he wasn't used to her doing all the work, but Olivia deflected all objections and continued, softly telling him how much she loved him, how perfect he was, and how lucky she was to be his wife.

….

A week later, Ed held Olivia's hand as they waited for the sonographer to enter the exam room. His heartbeat was rapid and he hoped his fingers weren't trembling because his entire body felt uneasy from anticipation. The doctor cautioned them at their last appointment that they may or may not pick up a heartbeat this early. They'd be able to visually confirm the pregnancy, but anything else was a toss-up. Slightly disappointed, they decided not to bring Noah along.

Olivia took deep breaths. All she wanted was a tidbit of good news. In the two weeks after Thanksgiving she'd experienced a rollercoaster of pregnancy symptoms. One day she'd be overcome with nausea, the next day she'd be fine only to wake up the following day feeling like she hadn't slept in weeks. Some days she felt normal, energetic, and operated at work with unprecedented focus; other days she found herself staring at her laptop, unable to get anything done.

Ed played with her fingers and twisted her rings around and around. Olivia turned her head and smiled at him.

"Nervous?"

There was no point in lying. "Yes."

"People who've had three or four kids…how do they do this?"

"I dunno."

"Were you nervous with Sarah and Brooke?"

Ed twisted his lips. He didn't like where this question was headed. "Not like this. But…we found out about both of them late. I think, uh, my ex was pretty far along before she thought she might be pregnant."

"They weren't planned?"

"No."

To Ed's relief, the sonographer entered the room, saving him from any further commentary about his ex-wife. She was a comely young woman with long black hair pulled into a tight ponytail and a kind disposition Ed assumed was common among most people with this job.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker." She noticed Ed's shield and corrected herself, "Or, officer?"

"Ed and Olivia," he said, briefly releasing his wife's hand to shake hers.

"Michelle," she replied and then got back to business. "We ready?"

"We are."

She pulled the machine closer and pressed a few buttons, "I'm sure the doctor already told you. We may not see much today. A lot of times, at five weeks, we may have more questions than answers. Mrs. Tucker, you're going to feel a little pressure here, but there shouldn't be any pain. Let me know."

Olivia gasped a little at the initial contact of the probe. Ed's eyes widened. "You okay?"

"Yes."

"No pain?"

"No."

After what seemed like an unreasonable amount of time, Michelle smiled and pointed to a spot on the screen. "There's a sac," she reported, "And a baby."

Buoyed by relief, Ed stood up for a closer look.

"See it?" Michelle asked, still pointing.

"Yeah," Ed replied in a deep, raspy, awed voice, "Yeah." He looked at Olivia who was nodding with tear-filled eyes and the little blob on the screen.

Michelle continued with her work, trying to get different angles, and reassuring both Ed and Olivia that not seeing a heartbeat was completely normal at this stage. She politely and thoroughly answered Ed's questions and was probably grateful when the Tucker's doctor popped in.

"Hi there," he said, smiling at the screen. "Congratulations!"

Ed and Olivia, a bit overwhelmed, murmured their thanks.

"Michelle, she's had increasingly high HGC levels. Last test she was in the multiples range. You see another sac?"

Ed felt lightheaded. Olivia's eyes widened and she squeezed her husband's hand. Obviously, having two embryos transferred meant twins was a possibility and they knew about the high hormone levels, but having the doctor verbalize it so casually stunned them.

"Well, I do," Michelle said, closely studying the image, "but the position of this one is obstructing most of it. I can't confirm anything other than we have a singleton. But, hang on a second," she smiled again, "I thought I saw it. Yep! See it?"

"We have a heartbeat!" The doctor announced.

A fresh round of tears spilled over Olivia's cheeks as she saw the faintest flutter. Ed stared, awestruck, and then leaned down and kissed her firmly on the lips and then her cheeks, tasting the salt of her happy tears.

"Okay," the doctor said with finality, "We'll see you back here next week. Everything looks good."

"What about…what about the other sac?" Olivia asked in a hoarse voice.

Michelle regarded her with a patient smile, "We'll most likely see it next week. Between weeks five and six there'll be a noticeable change."

Always the one to look far ahead, Ed asked about the due date.

Michelle looked at her notes. Right now, we're looking at late August. But we'll revise that as we go along. Congratulations. We'll see you next week."

She left them alone. Olivia sat up, letting her legs dangle over the side of the table, and paused for a few seconds, letting the good news sink in. She stared at the floor and then at Ed who was smirking confidently. All along he'd been reassuring his wife and everyone else for that matter that everything would turn out just fine.

To his relief, at least for now, he was right.

"Hey," he said in a half-whisper, "We didn't get one of those pictures."

"Yes we did," Olivia said, "She left them on the table, right there, see?" She pointed to where she left her purse and, sure enough, there were two rectangular sonogram prints.

"I didn't realize…" Ed murmured.

Olivia cocked an eyebrow and winked, "Too busy looking at the screen?"

"Couldn't take my eyes off it." Ed stood up, kissed her, and handed over the rest of her clothes. "Kinda like…how I can't take my eyes off of you." Olivia tried to take her pants from him, but he kept a firm grip until she kissed him again.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"I feel like…after the next one…I'll be ready to start thinking about the nursery."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	9. Chapter 9

**Nine**.

On the large screen and having been enhanced by TARU, the surveillance video evidence was irrefutable. Chief Dodds and the entire SVU squad stared at the monitor as Carisi kept playing the incriminating clip over and over.

"That's definitely them," the Chief sneered. "Goddam it."

Olivia signaled for Carisi to stop the video. "What do you want us to do?"

"Go talk to them. Quietly. As of right now, SVU busted a party where hookers were hired. That's all the public knows. Who's seen the video?"

"Just us," Rollins replied.

"Keep it that way," the Chief said. "If anyone needs me, I'll be at City Hall informing the mayor-elect that we have his sons on video entering a brothel." He took one last look at the monitor, "Benson, you should come with me. He'll want to know the details, make sure everything was done by the book."

The meeting sounded like a good old boy session, so Olivia as surprised he asked her to go along. "Um, sure, okay." She went to her office to get her coat and followed the Chief out.

Carisi played the video one more time and froze it when the young men's faces came into view. "Damn. One's bad enough, but both of them?  
"Not surprising," Fin remarked in a jaded voice. The new mayor's college-age wayward sons had been media favorites since the campaign began earlier that year. They strutted around the city with reckless abandon. So far, their offenses included tickets for public intoxication and marijuana possession, and they had already developed a reputation within the NYPD as being belligerent and combative.

"Why aren't they at school?" Rollins asked.

"Older one's taking a year off," Carisi reported. "And the younger one's at Hudson."

"I thought he was Ivy League?"

"Everything's hush-hush about that, but he probably flunked out."

Fin looked at Carisi incredulously. "How you know all this?"

"You don't read _The_ _Ledger_?"

The older detective's expression told Carisi he should've known better. "Not unless I have to."

Rollins kept her eyes fixed on the elevator as if she expected her boss to return any second, "Glad the Chief invited Liv. Still must be awkward between the two of them after Tucker knocked him out."

"Ah, c'mon, Rollins," Carisi scolded, "Captain Tucker didn't _knock him out_. Just a little punch. You know how guys are."

"Rollins is right," Fin added, "Tucker knocking him out aside, ever since Mike's been gone he's kinda, well, acted like he couldn't trust her at times."

"Feels like his head isn't totally in the game," Rollins said, "Maybe it's the holidays. He must be lonely."

"Maybe you should invite him for Christmas," Fin joked.

Rollins rolled her eyes and laughed, "Right. Can you imagine? Him, my mother, and my sister? All in my little apartment? No thank you."

"Your sister get back from Georgia yet?" Carisi asked.

"Yeah. She has to finish up her semester at CUNY."

"She doin okay?"

"Seems to be," Rollins had a doubtful look in her eye. "I just worry about her, you know? All kinds of triggers in this city."

"Triggers are everywhere."

"I guess so." Having had enough talk about Kim, Rollins asked about Christmas plans, "Do you know if Liv is inviting us over again?"

"I dunno. We're goin' to Tucker's mom's for Christmas Day, assuming I don't have to be here. I'll be on duty, but hopefully we don't get any calls. Fin, what are you up to?"

"Alejandro and Ken have invited me to go with them to Puerto Rico."

Rollins and Carisi grinned.

"Why haven't you said anything?" Rollins asked.

"I dunno if that's my thing."

"The beach?" Carisi couldn't believe there was any debate, "The sun? Drinks with a little umbrella in them? You gotta go."

"Yeah, well, the two of them, the baby, seems like I don't quite fit."

Rollins nudged him, "C'mon, _Grandpa_. Get your own room or something and go. Enjoy yourself. When's the last time you had a vacation?"

"I'll think about it. I'm kinda worried about leaving us even more shorthanded. Any word on that new detective?"

"Liv's interviewing two of them tomorrow. One just got promoted and the other's been in Brooklyn homicide for a while."

"Everything okay with Liv?"

The question was aimed at Rollins who, since being promoted to Sergeant, had been enjoying a tighter bond with the Lieutenant; however, Carisi took it upon himself to answer.

"She's great. Really great. Baby's fine so far. A little morning sickness here and there, but everything's going along as planned."

Fin laughed and shook his head.

Rollins muttered, "What he said," and went back to her desk.

…

Noah and Miss Melia were wrapping up their Spanish lesson when Olivia arrived at home early that evening. On this particular day, Amelia picked Noah up from school and took him home for the lesson. This arrangement worked out well since Lucy was available less and less as she prepared to wrap up her Master's Degree at Hudson University.

"He told me all about his new sister," Amelia reported sweetly, "So we learned a lot of baby-related vocabulary today."

"Good," Olivia replied. "Sweet Noah, I want to hear everything you learned while we start dinner."

"Kay, Mommy!" Noah had already started running into his room in search of something known only to him, so his voice was faint.

"I'll see you next week," Amelia said, "Same day, right?"

"Actually, can you come Wednesday instead?" Olivia asked, "We have an ultrasound next Thursday afternoon and we're taking Noah with us."

"Sure, no problem. That'll be special."

"Yeah."

They heard the sound of keys in the lock and Ed came in, a few shopping bags in his hands and his coat still on. Despite the presence of Miss Melia, he kissed Olivia hello, staring into her eyes for a few extra seconds before dropping the bags on the counter.

"How was the lesson?" Ed asked.

"Very good. Noah's all set to talk about his little sister in Spanish."

Ed smiled and put a hand on Olivia's hip, "We're gonna have a challenge on our hands if this baby isn't a girl."

"I'll teach him some baby brother things next week," Amelia said, also smiling, "Just in case."

"Good deal. Thanks."

Amelia left, and Olivia began taking items from the bags. Ed had apparently been on the most random shopping trip ever. He'd purchased everything from aftershave to a rotisserie chicken which Olivia placed on the stove.

"Want that for dinner?" Ed asked. "Saw 'em on the way out of the market and thought it looked good."

"I don't know…" Olivia said slowly, "I've had…kind of a rough day food-wise."

Ed held her by the waist. "What happened?"

"I very nearly threw up in the mayor's office."

Obviously trying not to laugh, Ed asked why she was in the mayor's office in the first place and Olivia explained how they'd identified the future First Sons of New York as patrons of the illegal sex party.

"Damn," Ed muttered, "Is it just because you're SVU, or do we have an epidemic on our hands?"

"I don't know," Olivia said, "It probably seems worse because of my job, but sex trafficking…it's lucrative. These pimps and traffickers are so good at breaking these girls, making them dependent, and then finding places where people can partake fairly anonymously."

"Chief's idea to see the mayor?"

"Yes. And…I was fine, there to explain the evidence we'd collected so far, at least what I could talk about and then they had lunch delivered. And I had to get out of there."

Ed shrugged and smirked, "Well, that coulda been the food but it also coulda been your company."

"Very good point." Olivia ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him again, "How was your day?"

"Good. Productive. Have to be in court all day tomorrow for a re-sentencing hearing." Ed looked over her shoulder, scanning the room, "Where's the lad?"

"His room."

Ed removed his coat and Olivia offered to take it for him. The frigid December air lingered on the wool and it sent chills down her spine. She hung it in the closet and put on an old, gray hooded sweatshirt. When she pulled it over her head, a dizzy spell hit her and she fell back into the wall. The thud was loud enough to send Ed back into the living room.

"Liv?"

"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy."

He guided her to the sofa. "You didn't tell me, have you eaten today?"

"A little."

"Liv, baby, I know you're not feeling well, but you gotta eat."

"I have no appetite. Nothing sounds good."

Ed tucked the throw blanket around her. "How 'bout I turn that chicken into a soup? We have some good bread. That'll be a good dinner, huh? Not too heavy."

"You know how to make soup?"

"Yeah," Ed replied confidently as if he were shocked she had any doubts. "You just wait. Gonna be the best soup you've ever tasted." He kissed her forehead, nose, and lips all the while grazing her abdomen with his fingertips. "Thanks for letting me kiss you."

The expression of gratitude was so innocent and sincere, Olivia pulled him in for another, deeper smooch even though his unspoken assumption was right. Food was first on the list of things repulsing her at the moment, and kissing was a close second; nevertheless, she toughed it out.

"What's Noah doing?"

"Trains."

"Okay." Olivia stretched out, allowing herself to submit to relaxation for a little while. She turned on the television and sunk into the cushions. Soon, the aroma of the soup filled the room and she found herself eager to eat.

…

"Daddy, you say da baby this big, but the baby verrrrry little." Noah held his hands about ten inches apart before peering at the sonogram photo. Michelle again served as their sonographer, and she kindly narrated to Noah as she worked. At first, he was unable to make sense of the fuzzy black and white screen, but Ed lifted him up and pointed to the two, miniscule, C-shaped figures.

The Tuckers now sat at their usual table at the pub, simultaneously entertaining Noah's questions and also coming to grips with the big news.

At almost seven weeks, Olivia was carrying two fetuses.

Michelle said it so nonchalantly that both Ed and Olivia, who were paying attention to Noah's reaction, didn't fully process the information.

"Aha," she'd remarked as she moved the wand and studied the screen, "Yep. Two sacs."

"Two heartbeats."

"Baby B slightly smaller than Baby A."

"But two strong heartbeats."

"See it?"

"Dat my sister?" Noah asked, his nose scrunched up in confusion.

Ed started to answer but then some of Michelle's words registered. "Wait, Michelle, what?"

As soon as the images came on the screen, Olivia knew what was happening. It was almost as if the babies, in the past week, plotted to separate themselves just enough to give their parents and the clinic staff a clear view. Questions swirled in her mind.

"Twins," Michelle reported and made some notes before pointing out Baby A and Baby B. "This is the fetus we saw last week, but notice the change. More definition. Clear fetal pole, and these heartbeats are strong. We usually don't see them like this so early."

"Is that a bad thing?" Olivia asked.

Michelle smiled at her, "No. It is completely the opposite."

The doctor came in and made some notes and remarks, but neither Ed nor Olivia could remember exactly what he said. From the moment Michelle said "twins" they existed in a giddy fog.

Two babies.

Two strong heartbeats.

Speechless, they left the clinic and somehow drifted into the pub. Maybe it was Noah who suggested it. The little boy was hungry, having missed his after-school snack because of the appointment and while they waited for their drinks to arrive, Noah continued to study the sonogram picture.

Josh, their usual server, delivered Ed's beer, Olivia's water, and Noah's small ginger ale which Ed ordered without thinking. Noah looked at his mother cautiously as he took his first sip but she paid no attention to what was in the plastic take-out cup with a lid.

"Yeah, bud," Ed reached for the image, "The babies start out very tiny. And they're in this little bubble so they stay safe until they're ready to come out."

"When they comin' out?"

Ed lifted his eyes to meet Olivia's. Though unspoken, they knew twins presented an additional challenge. "In the summer, pal," Ed answered.

"In da summer Brookey take me to da beach," Noah said matter-of-factly, "So we take small sister to da beach, too. Brookey carry me, but I walk and Brookey carry dis sister."

Olivia and Ed seemed to have come to an unspoken yet mutual understanding that they weren't going to explain the whole idea of twins just yet.

"Your new sister, or brother, won't be able to go to the beach right away, sweet Noah," Olivia said.

"Why not?"

"When babies are new they sleep a lot and stay at home for the most part."

"I stay home too?"

"No, sweetie, you can go to the beach."

"Dat 'cause I'm da BIG bruvver!"

Ed smiled and took a sip of his beer, finally relaxing a bit. One hand still clutched Olivia's, but he felt himself returning to normal. "You're gonna be a great big brother, No. You're gonna teach her all kinds of things."

"Uh-huh! I know how to draw and say 'Panish, and put togevver my train track." Noah paused and twisted his lips contemplatively, "Sisters play trains?"

"Sure, bud. I bet your little sister will wanna do everything you do."

Noah continued, "And play soccer and frow da football, ti' spiral, right Daddy?"

"Right, bud."

Ed pushed a blank placemat and the pub's four-crayon children's set over to Noah and fixed his eyes on Olivia who was already on her second tear-soaked napkin.

"Okay, Liv?"

"I can't believe this."

He couldn't tell if she was terrified or thrilled. So, he went with something safe.

"I love you."

To his relief she smiled. "I love you too, Ed Tucker." She played with his fingers, "You know how, when we first really started dating I used to talk about the past, like, couldn't believe how things changed?"

"Yeah."

"I feel like that now." Her voice wavered slightly, "Look at us. Married. And… _twins_?"

"I don't think anyone coulda predicted this," Ed replied, "And if they would have I prolly woulda had them sent to Bellevue psych."

"Are we crazy?"

She was too serious. Ed tightened his grip on her hands. "No. We are in love. And we have so much love and energy and life to give and, _twins_ , yeah, that's gonna be an adventure. But it's _our_ adventure. And I can't wait to start it with you, baby."

"It's already started."

"It has. Speaking of…how's your appetite?"

"I'm starving."

"Good." Ed reached over and mussed Noah's hair, "Hey bud, whatcha think your sister wants for dinner?"

"Grillcheese!" He exclaimed. "Same as me!"

…..

A sign next to the Christmas tree positioned at the entrance of Noah's school made Sarah shiver with anxiety.

 _Santa arrives in 11 Days_.

"Christmas," she muttered to herself, pulling out her phone to input shopping reminders. This year there were added recipients with Carisi and the new baby. After showing her identification, she waited patiently in the office for Noah to be delivered, and he appeared within minutes, grubby and backpacked, clutching his parka in one hand and a folder full of artwork in another.

"Hi Noey!"

"Hi Sare bear!"

Noah stood still as Sarah zipped his coat and pulled on his hat and mittens.

"You look like you worked hard today." Sarah despised how dirty Noah got after a day at school. At home he was usually a neat kid for being only four, but at two-thirty on weekdays his shirts were speckled with paint and food, marker streaks marred his hands, and there were crumbs clinging to the edges of his lips. Sarah ran her hand over his face and clapped her hands together so the remnants of the day's snacks fell to the floor.

"Yup," Noah replied and quickly bent down to pick up his folder. He needed both mittened hands to complete the task. "We take home all our pictures today."

"Oh yeah? Anything for me?"

"Sure!"

"Well, how bout we put that stuff in your backpack? It's snowing and I don't want it to get ruined."

"Kay! Where we goin now?"

"I dunno. Whatcha wanna do? Wanna go Christmas shopping?"

"Buy pesents?"

"Yeah. Not for us though, for other people, but, well, we can get a little something for ourselves."

"We buy pesent for small sister?"

Sarah kissed him, slung his backpack over one of her shoulders, and led him out onto the street. "Sure," she said, knowing Olivia hadn't been terribly enthusiastic about baby gifts. Sarah made sure not to let on how much she'd already bought. "Whatcha want to get her?"

"Pink train," Noah said without thinking twice.

"Pink train?" Sarah asked, wondering where, other than the internet, she as going to find one of those.

Noah held her hand but skipped along, "We find a pink train, Sare bear!" Noah's words were more statement than question.

"Okay Noey, can we have a snack first?"

"Yep!" He bounced along next to her.

They dropped off Noah's backpack at the apartment and headed back out. Sarah was almost ready to hail a taxi but then changed her mind and led Noah to the C Train entrance.

"We ridin' the subway!" Noah exclaimed. Even though it was a rare treat, Noah knew exactly what to do. "I have my card, Sare bear?"

"You don't need one yet, Noey. C'mon."

She carried him through the turnstile and they walked a little ways down the platform to wait. Noah looked at the large map and pointed at Battery Park. "We goin' here?"

"Nope. We're going to SoHo. Here." Sarah pointed to the Spring Street station.

"We find a pink train dere?"

"Maybe."

"Oh! Here come da train! It say C! We get on da C?"

"Yep!"

They entered the train and easily found seats since it was still early. Noah looked up at the stops and Sarah pointed out their destination. Noah kept his eye on the list as they rode.

"Noey, What do you think Sonny wants?"

"A computer."

"Okayyyy," Sarah grinned. Her brother was going to be no help at all. "What about Brookey?"

"We get Brookey a sweater."

Sarah laughed. Brooke's teacher wardrobe was the most boring set of clothing Sarah had ever seen. Her sister never deviated from her khaki pants, blouse, and cardigan combinations. "Good idea! But let's get her something a little jazzier, okay? That she can wear on a date with Sonny."

"Somethin' sparkly?"

"Yes," Sarah replied gleefully, glad he was picking up on her little game, "We shall get her something very sparkly."

"Sare bear! Our stop!"

"Oh, shit," Sarah muttered, "Good thing you're here, Noey. I woulda ended up in Brooklyn."

….

The incoming mayor was toeing the line between upholding a miniscule sense of ethics and protecting his sons. Everyone present at the party was hit with a solicitation charge, and Barba was waiting for confirmation on the girls' ages before he tacked on the felony counts. Chief Dodds suggested Barba offer the two young men a plea, but the ADA refused, saying the Chief was not his boss. However, Barba suspected the powers that be would, in the end, get what they wanted.

Olivia was in her office sifting, once again, through the evidence her detectives had collected, trying to determine the wisest course of action, when Rollins came in looking uncomfortable.

"What is it?" Olivia asked, hoping it didn't have anything to do with Kim.

Amanda got right to the point, "I think Declan's here in New York. Or, at least in the area."

"Why's that?"

"The packages he sends? They always have international postage. I got one yesterday…still no return address but it's local."

"Do you have any way of contacting him?"

"Yes," Rollins replied hesitantly.

Olivia frowned at herself, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even asked that. Well, we have his known associates here in New York, so have Fin and Carisi follow up with them."

Disappointed she was being sidelined, Rollins nodded. "I'll stay away from that part of the case."

"No, that's not it," Olivia said, "I need you here with me for the interviews. The first one's in twenty minutes."

…..

Sarah led Noah down Mercer Street. They already had two gifts—the new Apple Watch for Carisi and a fleece pullover for Ed, and Sarah promised a little something for Noah after they picked up something for Brooke.

"That's the rule Noey, the rule of three. Three presents for others, one for us."

"And a snack!" Noah reminded her.

"Oh yes. And a drink for your Sare bear."

"Dis street brick!" Noah observed.

"Yes it is. This is the best block in Manhattan, Noey. It's my favorite." Without wondering whether or not it was appropriate, Sarah escorted Noah into the first of two lingerie stores. They didn't spend much time in Agent Provocateur, but Sarah giggled at Noah's awestruck reaction to the lacy bras and panties on display.

"Too edgy," Sarah remarked. "C'mon, No. Let's go to Journelle."

At the second shop, a pleasant sales clerk greeted them with a smile, like Sarah, seeing nothing abnormal about a four-year-old browsing in a lingerie store.

"Can I help you find anything?"

"Oh, just looking for something for my sister," Sarah said breezily.

"Somfin sparkly!" Noah added.

"Oh, sure," the clerk replied. She led them to a back corner, "Here's a nightie and kimono set. We have it in cranberry and ivory."

Sarah examined the garment. Indeed, it was a deep reddish hue with embedded, subtle sparkles. She held it up for Noah to see.

"Whatcha think, Noey?"

She could see the wheels turning in his head. He was clearly having trouble picturing Brooke in the sexy outfit. "Brookey wear _dat_?"

"Oh she will," Sarah replied mischievously. "We'll take it. Can you gift wrap it?"

"Sure."

They watched the clerk expertly wrap the small box. She ran Sarah's credit card and handed over the bag.

"Okay, Noey," Sarah said, "Now we're going to refuel."

"Cupcake store?"

"Nope. I want real food. C'mon."

A few minutes later they were seated at a rickety wooden table at the Broome Street Bar. Sarah ordered a gin and tonic and a Shirley Temple.

"The Shirley Temple is for the young man," Sarah cooed at the young, handsome server who shed his curt demeanor and grinned at the slightly retail-weary yet gorgeous blonde.

"Anything to eat?"

"We'll peruse the menu."

"What peruse?" Noah asked. He was on his knees and hunched over the table.

"It means _to read_ , Noey Boey."

"I peruse at school."

"You sure do. Want to split a burger?"

"I want grillcheese."

Sarah groaned, "You always have that. Split a burger with me."

"Den we get cupcakes?" Noah bargained.

"Sure."

….

It was almost dark by the time Sarah returned Noah to the Tucker apartment. She'd been texting updates all afternoon. After their late lunch, Sarah and Noah continued their trail through SoHo until the weather became blustery and strolling became almost unbearable. When icy snow started falling, Sarah hailed a cab back uptown. She and Noah snuggled in the back seat among their bags. Once inside the door, she dropped the loot in a heap so she and Noah had to tiptoe around it as they made their way through the foyer.

Ed and Olivia were on the couch, already in their sweats, watching the evening news. Noah ran over and burrowed between them.

"Hey bud!"

"Hi sweet boy! Did you have fun with Sarah?"

"Uh-huh! We buyed lotsa presents!"

"Well, don't tell us what they are. We want to be surprised."

"An' we ate at a different pub!"

"Great," Ed muttered.

Sarah plopped down in the armchair. "Noey's the best shopping buddy. He never once complained that I was dragging him in and out of stores."

"Thank you for taking him."

"My pleasure! Anytime!"

Noah wiggled himself back onto the floor. "I get my bag." He ran into the foyer and came back with a bag from Playing Mantis. He pulled out a handcrafted red caboose and proudly showed it off to his parents.

"Wow, No, that's great! Good choice! Didja thank Sarah for the early Christmas present?"

"He sure did!" Sarah answered for him.

Despite Olivia having told him not to show any presents, Noah rummaged in the bag for another item. "And," he said grandly, "We get DIS for small sister!"

They'd been unable to find a pink train, so Sarah suggested they get a plain wooden one and Noah could personalize it with his paints. He held up the locomotive, "Daddy, you get my pink paint? I color it pink 'cause sisters like pink."

Even though he'd been talking about his new sibling at various points during the day, Sarah clasped her hand over her mouth, muting her "omigods."

Ed and Olivia gaped at their son who was looking back and forth between his parents, waiting for one of them to acknowledge what he just said.

"Sure bud," Ed leaned over to kiss Olivia's tear-stained cheek, "Get some of that newspaper so we can cover up the table." Ed set Noah up with his art supplies and returned to the sofa. "Guess we'll pick up another one a those at some point," he said.

Olivia nodded, still overcome with emotion.

It took a few seconds for the statement to register with Sarah.

"Omigod, omigod, OMIGAWWWWWWD!" She jumped up and sat on the other side of Olivia, hugging her gently and then resting her head on her shoulder. "We're having twins," she murmured. "Perfect."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ten**.

Late Friday night Brooke and Carisi came home and found Sarah busy on the living room floor wrapping presents. There was no music playing, but she was singing Adeste Fidelis to herself as she expertly cut, taped, and tied bows around the boxes. A glass of wine sat on the table with the bottle nearby, but very little of it had been consumed. Sarah was too busy to drink.

"You know Latin?" Carisi asked, impressed.

"Just this song," Sarah replied, "All the verses, by the way."

"Wow."

"What were you two doing?"

Brooke took a clean glass from the dishwasher and poured herself some water. "Dinner and a movie."

"How romantic," Sarah giggled, thinking about the sexy nightwear carefully wrapped in silver and red paper.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. Hey, are we getting the tree tomorrow? We're kinda, running out of time."

"Yeah, we'll do that tomorrow," Sonny said, "Either early or late. I'm helping Captain Tucker move some things out of the office."

"For fuck's sake, Sonny, will you call Daddy _Ed_ please?" Sarah scoffed. " _Shit_."

"Feels weird," Carisi muttered on his way to the bathroom.

Sarah slapped a gift tag on the box she was working on and slid it to the side of the room with the others. She grinned at Brooke. "Want the latest?"

"The latest what?"

"Let's wait for Sonny to come back."

Sarah simpered and Brooke stared at her in silence as they listened to Sonny finish brushing his teeth, gargle, and then spit mouthwash into the sink. He didn't realize they were waiting for him, so he regarded them curiously when he returned to the living room.

"Um, I was goin' to bed, but…"

" _Sooo_ ," Sarah sing-songed, "I was at Dad and Liv's and Noah got this train today he wanted to paint pink and Dad comes back from getting Noah's paint and says they're gonna have to get another train."

Neither Brooke nor Carisi understood what she meant.

" _Another train_."

Brooke made a smacking noise, "Will you just get to the damn point?"

"They're having twins!"

"Oh you have to be fucking kidding me."

Slack jawed, Carisi grunted, "Huh?"

"They said I could tell you."

Brooke ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at it and stretching her face. "This keeps getting more and more ridiculous. First we have a fifty-year-old—"

"Forty-nine," Sarah corrected.

Rolling her eyes, Brooke continued, "Whatever. A _forty-nine_ -year-old getting pregnant against all medical odds and now this? Yeah, right. I cannot wait to see Olivia and Dad running around after twins and also Noah. Are either of them freaking out? Or is Dad just smiling like and thinking about how he's gonna get Cuban cigars to smoke after the babies are born?"

Unhappy with her sister's reaction, Sarah cocked her head and raised her eyebrows, "They seemed a little shell-shocked, but, what the fuck, Brookey? Sonny? What is her _problem_?"

Sonny's eyes darted back and forth between the sisters, "I think Fin said it best, it's weird to see Lieu and Tucker going through this."

"That's right," Brooke said, "It's _weird_. And I just don't feel like they really know what they're up against."

"Oh, _stop_. You're complaining they're too old but at the same time you're assuming they're thinking like they're teenagers. One or the fucking other, Brookey."

Brooke ignored her sister's biting tone. "It's still early. I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."

"Party pooper," Sarah snorted.

Brooke tugged at Carisi's arm. She was ready for bed.

Sarah smiled at the box containing Brooke's lingerie. "Night-night," she called to them in a sugary sweet voice. "Don't stay up too late canoodling. Christmas tree first thing!"

The next thing Sarah heard was Brooke's bedroom door click shut. Alone again and nowhere near sleep, Sarah retrieved a few of the baby gifts from her room and a few fresh rolls of wrapping paper, all the while thinking to herself that she was going to have to double up on the gifts.

"Nope," she commented to herself. "No community gifts. Babies each get their own things." She reached for the scissors and resumed singing her Christmas carols.

….

The sound of cabinets opening and closing reverberated throughout the entire apartment. Ed finished helping Noah get dressed and went out to the kitchen to see what the matter was. Olivia was on her tip-toes, peering into the pantry with a frown.

"Whatcha lookin for?"

Frustrated, Olivia replied, "I don't know."

After a spell of not having an appetite at all, Olivia spent the past couple of days ravenous. No cuisine was out of the question. She moved from the pantry to the refrigerator. "Eggs, eggs. No. Egg salad. _Yes_. That's what I want." Olivia took two eggs from the container, but before she could go any further, Ed stopped her.

"I'll go get you some. Deli on the corner?"

"No, they use too much mayo."

"Pick-a-Bagel?"

Olivia's eyes brightened, "Oooo, yeah!"

"Comin' right up." Ed grabbed his keys and wallet, "Want me to take Noah?"

Olivia didn't respond. She went up to Ed and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him hard. "I love you."

A little startled, Ed chuckled, "I love you, too."

"Sure you don't mind going? I could have it delivered."

"No. I want to go." Ed kissed her again and she deepened it, aggressively sliding her tongue along his.

"God, Ed, I want you so badly right now."

Flames of arousal swelled in his midsection. "I know, baby. I want you, too. We'll see what the doctor says at the next appointment, okay? But…I think it's worth the wait."

"It is," she agreed, "But I want your hands on me so badly."

"How 'bout I give you a massage later?"

She smiled into his lips, kissing him again and mumbling, "That sounds _so_ good."

"Still want egg salad?"

She punched him playfully, getting his little joke. "I'm not _that_ crazy, am I?"

"You're never crazy," he replied sincerely, "You're having our babies." Ed bent down, lifted her shirt, and kissed her belly button. "I can't wait 'til you start to show."

"That's going to be…surreal."

"Yeah. Well, I'mma go. Text me if you change your mind," he said with a wink.

"Will do," she retorted with equal sass. "Hey."

Ed reappeared, "Yeah?"

"If Carisi's not coming over until later this afternoon, you think we can get the tree today?"

"Absolutely." Ed blew her a kiss, and he was off.

…..

An hour into the office clean-out and Carisi and Tucker laughed about how they had made more of a mess than anything. The goal had been to condense its contents, mostly Ed's things, into two plastic tubs that could be neatly stacked in the long foyer closet. Once that was done, the floating shelves they'd installed a few months ago would be uninstalled and they'd patch up the holes in the walls. Finally, they would move the sofa, desk, and side table to the center of the room and prepare to paint. Olivia hadn't chosen paint colors yet, but she knew Ed was eager to get started on something concrete and this task, she hoped, would satisfy him until after Christmas.

Distracting the men were the stories behind the items that had once been prominently displayed in Ed's living room when he lived alone. There were his framed ticket stubs from the 2000 Subway Series, a Civil-War era sidearm, a set of Revolutionary War musket balls, and an old football autographed by Joe Namath.

"I didn't know you were such a…collector, Captain," Carisi said excitedly as he carefully wrapped a few of the fragile items in newspaper and placed them in a tub.

"From a time in my life when I didn't have a whole lot else to do."

Out in the living room, Noah and the Tucker women were busy stringing lights on the huge, fragrant spruce tree. After some debate, Olivia had Ed set it up in the center of their floor-to-ceiling windows, and Sarah gushed about how she was sure they'd be able to see it from the Rockefeller Center observatory.

"We put this on now?" Noah asked, holding up two popsicle-stick ornaments he made at school.

"Sure," Olivia said, "Put those two on, but we'll wait for Daddy to do the rest."

"Kay."

"Omigod," Sarah said, "We should take our Christmas card picture right here in front of this tree. It's perfect."

Raising her eyebrows, Brooke asked, "Christmas card?"

"Yes. Our family Christmas card. We should have one made."

"We're not the freaking Kardashians."

The tension between the sisters did not go unnoticed by Olivia. Eager to keep the peace on this particular day when she was feeling energetic and optimistic, she offered an alternative solution. "Believe it or not, I've never sent Christmas cards. But, I think we should definitely do a nice picture in front of the tree. Carisi has that nice camera. Maybe he can take one."

"Great idea," Sarah said, "And if I want to make it into a Christmas card, I'll do just that! So, let's do that soon. And we have to wear matching outfits. Maybe something simple, like jeans and green or red sweaters?"

"Sounds easy enough," Brooke said. "I already have to dress up for our faculty party, so I'm going caszh for the rest of the holiday season. Just FYI."

"Do you have a police Christmas party, Livvie?"

"Not usually. But, this year, maybe I'll have everyone over. Something informal. They've been so…understanding and supportive, or at least they're pretending to be."

It was the first time Olivia had acknowledged to Brooke or Sarah that she suspected others were not one-hundred percent on board with she and Ed choosing to expand their family in this manner. Pangs of guilt immediately burned in Brooke's chest and when she saw Sarah rush over and envelope Olivia in a bear hug, she was overcome with what she later figured out was jealously. But, jealous of what? Brooke did not want a baby, at least not now. Sarah constantly hugged Olivia; both she and her sister had a strong, close relationship with their stepmother. Unlike Sarah, she'd never been envious of her father's relationship with Noah and she didn't suspect she would feel any differently about his bond with his future child or children.

No, as she watched her overly-emotional sister nestle her head into Olivia's neck and Olivia patiently hug her back, she realized she was jealous that something, either in her mind or her heart or maybe both, was preventing her from getting to where Sarah was—unabashedly blissful about the Tucker twins.

….

The girls and Carisi declined the invitation to stay for dinner, opting instead to go out for drinks and bar food. Olivia reminded Carisi to be at the precinct early tomorrow. Chief Dodds requested a meeting regarding a possible undercover operation in conjunction with Narcotics, and Carisi fit the look of the person. Plus, he'd already completed several similar ops and had been awarded for the skill and bravery he'd displayed. Those details, however, were kept secret from Brooke and Sarah. Olivia had simply said, with emphasis, "See you at eight tomorrow morning."

Darkness fell over the city. Ed dimmed the recessed lighting so the multi-colored tree lights provided most of the illumination, and the three of them finished placing ornaments on the tree. They saved two special bulbs for last. A blue one read "Noah" in fancy script, a silver one read "Ed and Olivia" with their wedding date printed below their names. Noah picked the spot for his personalized ornament, stepped back, and, satisfied with the placement, moved on to his next order of business.

"We need one for small sister."

Olivia hugged Noah against her legs. "Yes…yes we do," she replied softly. "We don't know what her name will be, but we'll get something for her, okay?"

"Okay."

"She'll like that," Ed pulled Olivia to him and put a hand on her stomach, "It's getting' late, No. Wanna kiss sister goodnight then we'll read?"

Noah nodded and Ed gave him a little boost so he could kiss where his Daddy's hand had just been. "Night, night, sister. We gonna read now. I pick the books. _Three_ books. I let you pick _one_ when you come out."

Olivia threaded her fingers through her son's hair. "That's so nice, Noah. Maybe this week we'll get the ornament and pick out some books for her."

For the first time, Olivia was suggesting baby purchases. The breakthrough was not lost on Ed. He kissed her cheek firmly, smirked, and planted another smooch on her lips. Noah had already taken off to his room.

"Massage in twenty," he whispered in her ear, making sure to catch a bit of her earlobe, "Meetcha in the bedroom?"

She bit her lip and stared intently into his blue eyes.

"I'll be there."

….

" _Mmmmmm_ , Ed, that feels so _good_."

On his knees, straddling her but supporting all his own weight, Ed concentrated on methodically kneading Olivia's back, shoulders, and neck. Innately, he exerted the perfect amount of pressure and he felt her relax more and more as he repeated his patterns.

"Should we tell Noah anything else? He's sure he's getting a sister."

"I don't know," she answered into the pillow, "he's really latched on to this whole sister thing and this pink thing…it's so precious and sweet, but it'd be too bad if he stockpiles all things pink and he gets a brother."

"Or two brothers. Or both. Or two sisters."

"Mmmmhmmm."

"How ya feelin' about that?"

"Like I've been feeling about everything. It's early. And we have another appointment next week. And, at some point, I'm sure I'll get used to going, but I'm nervous every time."

"I know." Olivia turned over and Ed climbed to her side, laying so he was inches from her face. "What is it, Liv?"

"You're going to think I'm horrible for saying this."

"No I'm not. I've never thought you were horrible. Not once."

Olivia rolled some of his t-shirt fabric between her thumb and forefinger. "I was…I was starting not to be so nervous. And now I'm nervous about getting attached to these two babies…and then losing one…so it's like starting from the beginning all over again."

"Aw, Liv," Ed wrapped his arms around her as she shuddered and started to cry, "Aw, baby. I know. I know. But, hey, let's just take it one day at a time, okay? We had a good day today. You're feeling good, we got the tree…we got enough egg salad leftover for tomorrow…"

Olivia laughed a bit through her tears, sniffled, and laid back down. Ed rolled over and plucked a few tissues from the carton and handed them to her.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop that. You have every right to feel how you feel. C'mere." He took her into his arms again, "Let me love you. Let Captain Tucker hold ya tonight."

Olivia turned a little and nestled herself into his body. "When we're like this I feel like nothing can ever go wrong."

"I'd stay like this for the next eight months if I could." He stroked her arms and kissed her head, "Let all those negative thoughts go, baby. I'm here. Lemme carry them for you."

…

A week before Christmas, Ed and Olivia sat in their fertility specialist's office listening to the doctor's assessment of the pregnancy. The third ultrasound confirmed what the sonographer found in the second—two babies and two heartbeats. Other than the expected fatigue and morning sickness, Olivia was in perfect health and the doctor complimented her for obviously taking deliberate steps to take care of herself. He reviewed the sonogram photos and notes, reading to himself, and Ed had just about tuned out when something startled him.

"Baby A…approximately one week larger than Baby B."

"Uh, Doc, is that…that cause for concern?"

Peering at Ed over his reading glasses, the doctor replied, "No. It's quite common. It might stay that way through the duration or he or she may catch up."

"What are…what complications are ahead of us…with me carrying twins?" The question had been burning in the back of Olivia's mind since the last appointment and even though she was terrified of the answer, she could no longer ignore the reality that twins presented unique challenges.

The doctor removed his glasses and answered honestly and thoughtfully. "With twins, the most common risks are low birth weight, increased chance of prematurity, and you're more likely to develop gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, possibly preeclampsia. You may have to go on bed rest during the third trimester. But, overwhelmingly, both naturally conceived twins and IVF twins are born healthy and thrive."

Ed fidgeted in his chair. "Is there anything we should be doing now to lessen those risks?"

The doctor smiled at his concern. "You're probably going to think this is too simple an answer, but keep doing what you're doing." He shifted his eyes to Olivia, "No pain? No spotting?"

"Not at all."

"You're remarkably healthy, Olivia. And strong."

Olivia appreciated the compliment, but she had other concerns. "With Baby B being smaller, does that mean there's increased risk of brain defects or developmental delays?"

"There's always a chance. But it's very slim. We're at seven-and-a-half weeks. Because we have multiples, we'll keep you under close observation until twelve weeks. During that time, we'll see what happens. A one-week difference usually translates to only a few ounces' difference at birth."

"And if Baby B doesn't continue to grow at a normal rate?"

Ed reached for his wife's hand as she calmly asked her difficult but necessary questions. He desperately wanted to somehow siphon her anxiety and hoped the doctor's responses would give her some peace and renew her optimism.

Now it was the doctor's turn to fidget. Judging by his body language, Ed assumed his answer was not going to make him or his wife any less concerned.

"In some cases…when that happens, or when signs point to doubts about both baby's health, some parents have…have opted for a procedure called selective reduction."

Olivia's entire body went numb and her hand became limp in Ed's fingers.

"Selective reduction?" Ed asked.

"It's typically used in the case of triplets or higher," the doctor explained, "a solution is injected in one of the fetuses…the purpose…is to increase the chances of survival for the other babies. We rarely do it to reduce twins to a singleton. But, it is an option."

Horrified, Ed and Olivia sat in silence for a moment.

"Listen," the doctor continued patiently and sincerely, "We will do everything necessary to make sure you and the babies are healthy. Your regular OB-GYN will do the same. I have only recommended selective reduction in the case of twins four times in the past fifteen years, and all of those times were extremely unique circumstances. I usually don't bring up the procedure unless we have those types of scenarios. In the instance that Baby B does not continue to grow, we'll have this conversation in more depth and carefully weigh our options, but, right now, my best advice is to keep doing what you're doing and start thinking about how you'll fit two cribs into your house."

Ed appreciated his honesty and his attempt to lighten the mood. Olivia managed to go through the motions—she shook his hand and offered her sincere thanks. They stopped at the reception desk to schedule appointments for the next few weeks. Olivia plugged the dates and times into her phone and casually chatted with the clerk. To anyone other than Ed, she seemed normal.

Ed knew better. There was an unmistakable cloudiness in her eyes, and her shoulders slumped slightly forward as she loped along like a war-weary soldier. Once they left the office, she looped her arm through his and leaned against him as they made the short trip to the car.

"Ed, I'm going to walk," she said.

Ed let go of the passenger door handle. "Liv, it's too far and it's cold. I'm not gonna let you walk."

She brushed away his outstretched arms and kept her eyes fixed on the sidewalk, "I need. I need to be alone for a little while."

"No," Ed replied insistently. "You don't have to talk to me. You don't have to touch me. But we're too far away from the precinct and the wind chill's gotta be below zero. I'll take you home if you want, so ya can be alone there, but I am _not_ letting you walk."

Two options presented themselves. She could lash out and storm off or she could do the smart, level-headed thing and follow her husband's directions. Ed rarely was this firm with her. It took a near-crisis for him to go into handler mode.

Without another word, she got into the car.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	11. Chapter 11

**Eleven**.

Seeing the raw anguish on his wife's face, Ed Tucker swore he would have done absolutely anything in the world at that moment if her inner turmoil would only be quelled. Out of tears, Olivia resorted to alternating between scratching her neck and digging her fingertips into her forehead as she spoke.

"My whole career…I've encouraged women to be empowered. Make their own decisions about their bodies. And that advice, that encouragement always came so easily. Like a script."

Perched on the ottoman in their bedroom, Ed rested his elbows on his thighs and listened. Olivia was sitting cross-legged on the bed hugging a pillow. She appeared much younger than her forty-nine years. Her voice wavered ever so slightly like it did when she was at the pinnacle of anger and frustration.

"And now. That script doesn't work. I don't feel empowered at all. I feel like I'm at the mercy of…" she looked up at the ceiling, "…I don't _know_."

It was time for him to say something.

"Liv, we have the best doctors. Everyone who's seen you has nothing but good things to say. I know it seems like it's too good to be true. And, you're right, there are so many things we can't control. And, you and me both, baby, we don't do too well under those circumstances." They shared a small, knowing smile. "Whatever happens, whatever decision you make, it'll—"

" _We_ make," she corrected. "I can't do this without you. Today? The second you left I wanted you back. I need you, Ed. I need you more than I've ever needed anybody. And I'm sorry about earlier today."

He propelled himself from the ottoman and sat next to her on the bed. "I just didn't wantcha to walk," he said with a smirk.

She kissed him softly, hovering over his mouth for a few extra seconds, barely touching his lips. "I cannot imagine…doing what the doctor described…unless there's something terribly wrong."

"I agree," Ed whispered back. "One hundred percent."

Olivia gripped his shoulders so tightly he could already feel the imprint of half-moon shaped fingernail indentations. Her brown eyes simultaneously darkened and widened. Ed had seen those eyes in almost every imaginable scenario, and he could not remember them blazing with more intensity than they did at that moment.

"Tell me it'll be okay."

He gently pried her hands from his shoulders, kissed each of them, and mustered every ounce of confidence and masculinity he had, and Olivia heard it in his voice.

"It's gonna be okay."

….

Brooke tried not to frown as Carisi told her as much as he could about his newest undercover assignment. It sounded simple enough—he was taking a job as a bartender at a club Narcotics pegged as a hub for cocaine and heroin trafficking. There were signs, according to their intel, that the drug traffickers were somehow connected to the tentacles of the sex-trafficking ring or rings that were still operating with veritable impunity in each of the city's five boroughs. If Carisi could successfully infiltrate and deliver evidence to prove this, the bust would be major and he would reap some significant accolades.

"So, I'm not gonna be able to stay here," he said, obviously disappointed.

"I understand." Brooke knew she had to be supportive. "It's just a terrible time. With Christmas and all."

"I know. I'm sorry. I did ask if it could wait, but they laughed at me. Maybe, best case scenario, we hit paydirt this weekend."

"That sounds overly optimistic."

"Probably is." Carisi moved toward her, "Hey, well, they told me I could have the rest of the day to get my affairs in order before I pick up my new ID and everything. So…wanna be my affair?"

Brooke choked back what felt like a burgeoning sob as Carisi started kissing at her neck and guided her to the bedroom. As usual, he wasted no time tossing off both their clothes. He loved the feel of Brooke's naked body against his, even if they were only cuddling. This afternoon, though, he was interested something a little more intimate.

Consumed with doubt, Brooke did her best to pretend she was locked in to the lovemaking. However, as Carisi nipped at her earlobes and then moved to suckle her breasts, she imagined what life would be like married to him, with kids, never knowing when he'd be called away to some ambiguous assignment for an indefinite period of time.

She moaned encouragingly and grabbed his gelled hair as he moved his tongue in between her legs, gently and methodically, unsure of how long it would be before he would be in this bed. While he pleasured her, Brooke rehearsed ultimatums.

 _If we are going to be together…_

 _If we're going to continue to live together…_

 _If you want to marry me…_

She couldn't find the words to finish those sentences _._

On the heels of the first orgasm, she experienced an odd combination of euphoria and despair. Everyone close to her seemed to be in really good places. Sonny felt validated as NYPD's most valuable UC. Her Dad and Olivia were consumed with their unborn babies and with Noah. Sarah, of all people, woke up one day and decided to be an adult, a happy and content one at that.

Brooke gasped and shrieked, but the sensations he elicited from her body could not erase the strange reality that she and Sarah had essentially switched personas.

Panting, Brooke told Sonny to turn over, to get on his back. Switching mindsets, she figured she might as well adopt Sarah's hyper-sensual, spirited approach to sex. She lowered her mouth, taking in Sonny's erection with fervor. She'd performed oral sex on him before, but, not really sure what to do, she went about it half-heartedly and she was pretty sure Sonny graciously pretended to enjoy it. This time was different. She could tell by the noises and his flailing arms and the way he clutched her hair. She refused to think and operated only on feel and instinct, taking cues from Sonny's body, liking that she was rendering him nearly incapable of coherent speech. She knew he was close, and she thought maybe she heard him say something, but everything was muffled and she was on the verge of another climax herself when Sonny managed to hook his hands under her arms and pull her flush with his face.

"I wanna be inside you."

Brooke's grin was so devilish, it almost scared him. "Sure," she rasped, climbing over him, controlling the depth, teasing a little but then relenting, and moved with a rapid pace, desperate to feel what she assumed her Dad and Olivia felt when they made love and hungry for the sensations Sarah bragged about when she recalled her meaningless trysts with the likes of Isaac and who knows who else.

Finally, for the first time in her life, Brooke Tucker let herself lose control. Beneath her, Sonny kept his eyes wide open through both their releases, and he wasted no time meeting her mouth with a deep, fiery kiss when she crashed back down to him.

"Whew," he whistled, "That was… _wow_."

Proud of herself and basking in the sweetest afterglow she'd ever felt, Brooke whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'm gonna miss you."

Sonny sat up a little bit. He wondered if Brooke's _I'm gonna miss you_ meant something more than the totality of the words. He tucked a few damp locks behind her ears. "I'll miss you, too, but it's not gonna be that long. Then, after that, if you're still on break, maybe we can get away for a few days?"

"I'd like that."

Brooke kissed him again and draped herself across his body, hoping Sonny realized she had decided to give all of herself to their relationship.

…..

The men sitting at the conference table looked on in awe as the assured young executive toggled back-and-forth between English, Spanish, and Portuguese while they put the finishing touches on a triple merger between two fledgling biotech companies and a much larger American corporation. Sarah unapologetically used an online translator to help her through the Portuguese, but she deftly translated the terms of the deal from English to Spanish to Portuguese and then back again. She worked nonstop, typing into her laptop with one hand and writing notes with the other as her assistant flipped through the terms of the deal on a second laptop.

"How the fuck does she do this?" Somebody muttered.

Shrugs.

Not only was the Executive Vice President of Mergers and Acquisitions there for her performance, the firm's CEO was there as well, merely to observe how Sarah Tucker handled her first attempt at spearheading a major project.

With her long hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, a navy suit, and crisp white blouse, she looked every bit the young professional. Sarah never wore much makeup to work, but the products she did use highlighted her high, rigid cheekbones and defined jaw which grew more prominent as she fell more and more into a groove. In the zone, she fired questions at the men sitting in front of her, and seconds later their answers were transmitted back to their South American counterparts. Sarah was way ahead of everyone else, using lapses in response time to sip water and anticipate the next Portuguese phrase she would have to use.

There was no doubt she was the star of the show. The CEO and VP exchanged sly smiles, knowing they had made the right decision in promoting her. The other men had no time for much admiration; instead of directing questions and soliciting feedback from the entire group, she singled out certain individuals who she thought would be best equipped to respond. To them, it was unnerving. To Sarah and the other executives, it was remarkably efficient. Most of these types of conference calls lasted anywhere from two to three hours. When Sarah announced they would email the final copy of the deal by the end of the day, the CEO leaned over to the VP and marveled, "Holy hell, she got us outta here in just under an hour."

"Thank you, gentlemen," Sarah said, smiling sweetly, unable to completely shed her femininity and flirtatious nature. "Jake," she addressed her assistant, "Make sure you copy all of us on the email when you send the final paperwork."

"Got it."

It took mere minutes for the conference room to clear out and Sarah was left alone with her two superiors.

The CEO complimented her first. "Very impressive."

"Thank you," Sarah replied casually even though her heart was still pounding.

"The way you handled Costa and Gomez…wow…I've never seen them so subdued." The VP could not hide his amazement. Sarah's preparation and ability to think on her feet and find solutions at the drop of a hat was astonishing and unprecedented.

The CEO checked his watch. "Well, I'm getting out of here. I have dinner plans with my wife and the in-laws which means I need to turn cocktail hour into cocktail _hours_." He shook Sarah's had, told her how happy he was to have her in that position, and briskly made his way to the elevator.

It was three o'clock.

"We should go get a drink, too."

Busy with her laptop and an unwieldy, overstuffed accordion file, Sarah hadn't realized the Vice President was still in the room. "Oh, wow, well, I'm taking tomorrow off, so—"

"Everyone's taking tomorrow off. It's the Friday before Christmas. It'll be a ghost town here."

Like an addict on the verge of relapse, Sarah knew she was at a potentially ominous crossroads. By no means had she sworn off alcohol, but she'd cut back significantly. Being in charge meant she could no longer hide among the masses of the firm's middling accountants. And her hard work and self-control had just paid off big time, both literally and figuratively. Earlier that day she'd been presented with a big fat Christmas bonus check which was now tucked securely in the large pocket of her trusty Kate Spade handbag.

"Um, sure, just let me run back to the office and get my things."

"I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Okay."

Before she left her office, she sent a text to Olivia.

 _Can I bring you dinner tonight?_

She stared out at Battery Park, waiting for the response. If Olivia wasn't deeply involved in a case, she always answered within a couple of minutes, if not sooner. Sarah was just about to send her Dad the same question when Olivia's message showed up.

 _Sure. I don't know how early I'll be, but I'll tell your Dad_.

Sarah grinned at the phone. She had dinner plans. An insurance policy. An excuse, a mandate, to be responsible and not spend all night drinking dirty martinis with her boss who she was sure was married.

 _Great. I'll text Daddy and I'll bring some different pastas and salad. Okay?_

 _I THINK that sounds good._

Olivia included a smiley-face emoji and Sarah giggled. Morning sickness and sporadic aversions to food aside, she had been in an excellent mood over the past few days which made the already-giddy Sarah even more buoyant.

"Two drinks," she mumbled to herself. "Two drinks and you're gone."

….

Noah used his fork and a small spoon to twirl linguini into a neat cylindrical shape. He kept the utensils pressed together as he moved the food to his mouth. Right before he took the bite, most of the pasta fell back on his plate.

"One more try, Noey Boey," Sarah coached.

"Just let me cut it for him," Ed muttered, shoving a forkful of his own twirled pasta into his mouth.

"We've been working on this," Sarah protested, "He needs to practice."

"He also needs to eat."

Olivia watched Noah try again. This time, he was mostly successful. "Good job, sweetie," she cooed.

Noah grinned and chewed. His ego boosted, he quickly rolled another bite.

"Thanks again, Sare," Olivia said, "I'm glad I wasn't held up too long. Today is a craving day."

Sarah and Ed wore matching grins.

"Are you wanting weird stuff like pickles and chocolate ice cream?"

"No, no strange combinations so far. I guess it's more like, when I'm hungry, I _have_ to eat. You should see my desk drawers."

Sarah asked other questions, careful to avoid using the word "twins," as she knew Noah didn't know about the possibility of two siblings. In the course of their conversation, she learned Olivia had her weekly appointment in the morning.

" _Oooo_! Want me to go with you?"

" _I'm_ going with her," Ed quickly replied.

"Well, can't I tag along?"

Olivia thought about the procedure and imagined Sarah being all over the place in the office, _looking_ everywhere, and she suggested she wait until a later date, when they could actually hear the heartbeat and see movement.

"Okay," Sarah reluctantly agreed and then brightened, "How 'bout I pick up Noey again?"

"Wouldja like that, bud?" Ed asked.

Noah nodded, "Uh-huh," he replied with this mouth full, "We ride da subway somewhere, Sare bear?"

"We shall," Sarah said in her formal vernacular she often used with Noah, "Perhaps…perhaps we will hit Chelsea or Union Square. We'll figure it out depending on what we need. Remind me to make a list, Noey Boey."

"Kay! I make a list, too."

"Who do you have to shop for?"

"Daddy already taked me to get Mommy's pesent. And Mommy taked me to get Daddy's pesent."

Sarah's hand flew to Noah's mouth, " _Shhhh_. Don't tell."

Noah swatted at her hand, giggling, "It's a SECRET!"

"Oh, okay. Just making sure."

"We get more sparkly stuff for Brookey?"

Sarah cringed. She didn't need to look up. She knew Ed's glare was fixed on her.

Grinning at Ed, Olivia asked, "What sparkly stuff, sweet boy?"

Obviously struggling for the proper vocabulary, Noah twisted his lips, "It a…a dress."

Sarah burst into laughter.

"Aw, _come on_ ," Ed grumbled, "A negligée?"

Hearing her father say _negligée_ made Sarah laugh harder. Tears poured from her eyes and onto her plate. Olivia thought about last year's Christmas shopping trip and joined Sarah in her laughter.

"Did you take him to Journelle?" She asked.

"Yes," Sarah answered, "Noey and I went to the underwear store, didn't we Noey?"

"Uh-huh. It for girls."

"We weren't there long, Daddy," Sarah said.

Ed grunted and tried to frown, but his lips soon formed a small, incredulous smile, "I dunno what I'm gonna do with you."

"Well," Sarah twirled pasta thoughtfully, "You could come along. They have things for pregnant women there. Livvie'll start showing soon, and she'll want to feel sexy."

Olivia blushed.

"She's always sexy." Ed gave her thigh a little squeeze and her cheeks reddened even more.

"Can you have sex when you're pregnant?"

Ed coughed.

Olivia forced an embarrassed laugh.

"What sex?" Noah asked innocently.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod."

"What are you omigod-ing for?" Ed couldn't decide if he was amused or annoyed. Olivia's high spirits heightened his mood and lessened his frustration with his daughter. "You said it."

"Livvie, I'm so sorry," Sarah gasped.

Olivia had already calmly started to address her son, "Noah, sex is something Mommies and Daddies do." She hoped this would be enough detail for now.

"Noey, I'm sorry I used a bad word again. I forget you're listening sometimes."

"I listen at _school_."

"I know. They're doing a really good job teaching that skill."

"Sex a bad word?"

The three adults were struggling to keep straight faces.

"Nah, bud, it's not bad. It's just for adults to say. And do. Okay?" Ed grabbed his head and pulled him over so he could kiss him.

"Kay."

From his spot at the head of the table, Ed finished his dinner and couldn't help but feel enormously grateful. Just beyond the far end of their sleek pine dining table was the panoramic view of nighttime Manhattan with all its lights flickering-a view millions of people would see only in posters or pictures. On his right, his gorgeous wife, pregnant with twins, felt his gaze upon her and met his eyes. She winked at him and turned her attention back to her food and to Sarah and Noah who were chatting about the kids in Noah's class. Sarah pressed him for details about the bad kids and Noah happily filled her in.

Soon they would relocate to the comfortable gray sectional. Sarah would probably try to get Noah to snuggle with her in the large chair, but Noah would refuse and bargain with her to play trains or a game. Snuggling in the chair too closely resembled bedtime.

Their Christmas tree perfectly fit the room and later Ed and Olivia would bask in the glow of its lights, or at least Ed hoped that's what would happen. He needed to fill his wife's head with positive thoughts—his latest strategy intended to lessen her anxiety about yet another doctor's appointment. Ed wanted to talk about the twins, he wanted to toss around ideas for names, he wanted to browse websites for cribs, but Olivia remained largely silent on those matters. Her apprehension almost made him feel guilty about his excitement.

Nevertheless, he couldn't recall a time when he'd been happier. He peeked over at Olivia and wondered if, maybe, she was starting to show just a little bit, but on second glance he dismissed it as wishful thinking.

"I'm STUFFED." Sarah tossed her napkin onto her empty plate.

"STUFFED!" Noah echoed and tossed his napkin up in the air. It landed on the floor behind him. "Oops! I get it!" Sarah helped him get down.

"Sarah and Brookey have napkins you frow away," he stated.

"We have those, too, sweet boy," Olivia stood up and waved him out to the kitchen, "Come here and let me wipe your face."

At the table, Sarah used her knife to tap Ed's glass. " _Hello_? Dad? You with us?"

"Yeah."

"You're smiling like a fool."

Olivia overheard. "He's been like that since Thanksgiving," she called.

Thankful to hear his wife's sass, he widened his grin and started gathering their dirty dishes.

….

Twenty-four hours later, Sarah returned Noah. Olivia was home, but the door was locked and she didn't answer their knocks. Figuring this was an appropriate time to use her key, Sarah let herself and Noah in. She instructed him to take his boots off immediately. It had been snowing all day and their footwear was soaked.

They had already dropped off the bags at the other apartment since most of the items were for Ed and Olivia. On purpose, Sarah dragged Noah into another lingerie store and they picked out something silky yet PG-rated for Olivia. She warned him to "zip it" about the gift.

"Livvie?"

"Mommy?"

The Christmas tree lights had been turned on, but the main living area was otherwise dark. Sarah flipped on the kitchen lights.

"Where's Mommy?"

"Maybe she's asleep. Let's go check."

The master bedroom door was slightly ajar. Sarah noticed lit candles and held her arm out to stop Noah. If her Dad was also home, she didn't want a repeat of last spring's foray into voyeurism, at least not while the door was open and Noah by her side.

Silence.

Sarah tiptoed closer and saw Olivia sitting at the foot of the bed, staring into the candlelight. She walked back to Noah and suggested he get his tablet and draw her a picture.

"But I wanna see Mommy."

"We'll be right out. It's okay. Just a few minutes, Noey. Why dontcha draw the Christmas tree? I haven't seen one of those yet."

Noah reluctantly but obediently went to get his tablet.

Sarah approached the room again.

"Livvie?"

"Hey."

She'd obviously been crying. Sarah entered and sat next to her. "What's wrong? Did something happen with the babies?"

"No. No…they're…perfect." Olivia handed over the latest sonogram photo. "We saw them move."

" _Omigod_!"

"Yeah."

Sarah brushed a few pieces of hair way from Olivia's face. "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not…upset." Olivia's breathing was shaky.

"Why are you crying?"

"I was fine all day, working, breaking in this new detective."

"Is he cute?"

This made Olivia chuckle, "Not really."

"Well, I'm a little bitter about Carisi and Brooke."

"You were married when they met."

"Oh _yeah_ ," Sarah mused, "I keep forgetting about that part in my life. Sorry. Anyway. You were fine all day?"

"Yes. Carisi's on assignment, you know that, so we're still basically a man down. Busy. A lot of separate cases going on. And we wrap things up, tie up as many loose ends as we can, Fin and Rollins are still there, and I got home and realized..."

"Realized what?"

Olivia sniffed and walked around to Ed's side of the bed for a tissue. "Today was the first day I didn't stop to worry every few minutes. My pants are tight. Those little ones _moved_."

"It's happening," Sarah whispered.

"It's happening."

"You know what you need, Livvie?"

"What's that?"

"You need to sit on the couch and look at baby stuff on the computer with me."

Olivia managed a tiny smile. "That sounds nice."

"Do you mind if I steal some of your wine?" Sarah asked sweetly.

"Not at all.

Olivia wrapped Sarah in a tight hug and they walked arm-in-arm into the living room, but they froze in their tracks when they saw Noah. He'd dragged his beanbag directly in front of the tree and was perched on its edge. He alternated his focus between the tree and the Surface tablet, making careful strokes with the pen. His tongue crept out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated, and the reddish-green glow from the tree bathed him in a perfect holiday hue.

"Do you have your phone?" Olivia whispered.

Sarah snapped a few photos and immediately sent them to Olivia.

"So what's Brooke up to tonight?" Olivia asked as they settled in on the couch.

"She and her teacher friends are going out," Sarah replied. "She's all mopey, missing Sonny."

"Hmm. That's different."

"No kidding."

…

For the second night in a row, Sarah joined Ed, Olivia, and Noah for dinner, and they batted around the idea of watching a movie when Brooke texted to see if Sarah wanted to join her at a nearby pub. Her teacher friends had all gone home, and Brooke didn't feel like calling it a night just yet. Sarah made Olivia promise not to empty the virtual shopping carts they'd filled earlier, kissed everyone goodbye, and went to meet her sister.

Olivia handled Noah's bedtime routine on this particular night, and she spent a few extra minutes stroking his soft cheek and hair as he cuddled with Bernie.

"You're such a good boy, sweet Noah," she cooed.

His eyes were already fluttering shut, but he managed a whispered, "Uh-huh."

She wondered what it would be like when there were three Tucker kids in the apartment. Would they all read together? Separately? Would Noah eventually eschew story time altogether? Would her darling boy, her first miracle, be bothered by late night and early morning crying?

She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, whispered another goodnight, and returned to her husband's side. He'd been watching the news and he turned off the television, turning to focus all his attention on her.

"Sarah mentioned we're having a party?"

Olivia groaned with frustration at herself and scratched her forehead. "Not a party exactly. Just a few people over on Christmas Eve. That okay?"

"Of course," Ed smiled, chalking up her recent forgetfulness as yet another good sign. Even better, she could laugh about it. "Okay if I invite Cole and Janine? They may have other plans, but…"

"Sure. I kinda thought of this at the last minute."

"I like the spontaneity."

"I know," Olivia marveled, playfully rolling her eyes, "Nine weeks and already these babies have started to rewire my brain."

Ed ran an index finger over her cheek and lips, "Babies," he repeated softly. "It's good to hear you say that."

"It's good to be able to say it without being terrified."

"Seeing them move today. Both of them…" Ed murmured.

"I know."

They gazed into each other's eyes for a few seconds. "I hope they look just like you."

Olivia smiled. "I want them to have your eyes."

 _Finally_.

Captivated by her newfound willingness to look to the future, Ed sat up and took the laptop from the coffee table. "Wanna show me these carts Sarah was talking about?"

"Sure." Olivia settled in next to him and narrated for him. "Double stroller, something called an exersaucer, these chairs bounce and rock…back and forth and side to side…"

"This ten-pack of onesies, look, she put the quantity at 20…not sure if we need _that_ many at that size."

"Look at these socks…elephants, tigers…"

"Oh, and of course, she's counting on at least one girl, so…look at this…" Olivia laughed at the infant-sized-yet-still-gigantic, Sarah-style floppy beach hat. She waited for Ed to respond. When he didn't, she put the computer to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin." He gave her a quick hug and a kiss, "I'm so glad…"

There was no need for him to finish his thought. "I know," Olivia said, kissing him again, "Today was important. They're growing. They moved. And I really am…starting to feel…pregnant, if that makes any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Ed replied, his voice extra deep and raspy. He played with her hair, twirled it around his fingers, and rested his other hand on her thigh.

"So," the contact caused goosebumps to form along her spine, "You want to…go to bed?"

Ed gripped her thigh more tightly. "Yeah I do."

The day's appointment involved more than heartbeats and witnessing the fetuses move. When asked about sex, the doctor gave the couple the green light.

The foreplay lasted a long time, it usually did, but Ed was dragging it out longer than usual, and Olivia finally asked him if he was okay.

"I don't want to hurt you," he rasped, moving away from her breasts to press his forehead to hers. "Or the babies."

"If it hurts, I'll tell you. And the babies are fine."

"I'll go slow." He started to enter her but pulled out. "Liv, I can't."

" _Ed_." Her back arched and she raised her hips to meet his. She felt him, hot and hard, against her ultra-sensitive flesh.

"If something happened, I'd never forgive myself." Olivia had no idea how he was maintaining an erection while making this revelation. He kissed his way back down her body. "Let me, lemme just do this tonight, okay?"

Olivia put both hands on the back of his head as he peppered her abdomen with kisses and slowly moved lower. The second his tongue found her center, she gasped. It had been so long, and she knew it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge. She badly wanted him inside of her, but she understood. His hesitation, his deep sense of responsibility and devotion was overwhelming and touching…and a tiny bit erotic. In time, maybe she could convince him to expand their pregnancy lovemaking repertoire, but for now she closed her eyes and welcomed back the flames of pleasure Ed was capable of igniting with his tongue and fingers. Her satisfied moans and breathy _Eds_ once again filled their bedroom. For the first time in several weeks, she desperately grabbed for a pillow, muting the shrieks that, along with her quivering body, accompanied the orgasm.

Smirking, he peeled the pillow away and kissed her all over her face and neck. She put her palms on his chest and gently shoved him aside.

He raised his eyebrows curiously. Cocking an eyebrow, she dragged her hands from his chest to his hips.

In her throatiest, sexiest voice, she whispered, "My turn."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	12. Chapter 12

**Twelve**. ( _ **Saturday, December 23-Sunday, December 24, 2017)**_

Wrapping paper littered the dark mahogany floor. So much so that the scene could have been mistaken for Christmas morning. Sarah had long ago earned the distinction of being the family's expert gift wrapper, but Ed rated his work as above average. Noah worked as his assistant, holding ends and handing over tape and scissors.

"Okay, pal, I think we're good. Got Mommy's presents all set, a couple for Brookey and Sarah, but Mommy wanted to wrap some, too. I—"

Ed realized he was talking to himself. Noah was gone.

"No?"

In his room, Noah frantically rummaged around in his closet. Failing to find whatever it was he was looking for, he laid on his stomach and peered under his bed. Still unsuccessful, he looked behind his door and in the space between his bureau and the window.

"Whatcha lookin' for, bud?"

"Backpack!" Noah's eyes were quickly filling with frustrated tears. He stomped his foot. "Have pesent for the small sister in there! I make it at school!"

Ed retraced Noah's steps. Finding no sign of the backpack, he checked in the kitchen, foyer, and front closet. Finally, he looked in the unlikeliest places—their room and their bathroom, the hall closet, and Noah's bathroom.

Nothing.

Fully in tears now, Noah stood, forlorn, in the middle of the hallway. "I. Want. My. BACKPACK!"

Ed abandoned his search and held Noah in his arms. The boy rarely got this upset. Rubbing his back and bouncing him like he would an infant, Ed repeated, "Shhhhh," trying to soothe him.

Sniffling, Noah mumbled, "Haveta find it, Daddy."

"I know, bud," Ed whispered, "We'll find it." It didn't take Ed long to figure out what happened. "Hey! I think I know where it is!"

Noah threw his head back, "Where?"

"Did you leave it at Sarah's?"

Noah thought. Seconds later, he smiled and squirmed to be put down.

"Where ya goin, bud?"

Noah was already in the foyer yanking on his boots. "Gotta go get it," he said, determination in his voice, "Pesent for small sister. Pesents for big sisters and Mommy and Daddy, too, but we put small sister pesent in da snowman paper!"

Saying no was out of the question. Ed plucked Noah's parka from the coat rack and helped him put it on. In the elevator, he texted Sarah to make sure the bag was indeed there.

It was.

….

Sergeant Rollins returned to the precinct from lunch with two large bags from nearby toy stores. On her way from the vending machines to her office, Olivia stopped and smiled. Fin was rummaging through the loot incredulously.

"Damn, Amanda," he muttered.

"This is how I shop," she retorted, "At the last minute and…big."

He pulled out a silky nightie and held it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger. "You got _this_ at the toy store?"

Amanda snatched it away, "Of course not. It must have fallen out of its bag."

"Hot Christmas date?"

"It's for Kim." Amanda frowned at the garment, "You think it's weird that I'm getting her something like this? She likes all this girly crap."

Olivia felt the material, "If it makes you feel any less weird, Sarah took Noah into Journelle to pick out something for Brooke."

Fin screwed up his face. " _Journelle_?"

"High end lingerie," Rollins explained and shrugged, "It won't be the last time he's in a store like that. What'd Tucker say?"

"He tried to act like he was annoyed, but he laughed about it later."

"Tucker laughs?" Fin asked, partially joking.

Olivia cast him a sardonic glare, "You've seen him laugh."

Eyeing the ginger ale in Olivia's hand, Amanda asked, "Feelin' alright, Lieutenant?"

She rolled the can between her hands, "I'm fine…I…speaking of weird…when I'm feeling sick, Ed gives me ginger ale and now I'm addicted to it."

"Yeah, well, I can do ya one better," Rollins replied, "When you're puking pizza and then, minutes later, ordering a pizza, we'll talk."

Fin held up his hands, "I'm out. Hey, Stew, let's take a run over to Narcotics and check on Carisi."

Detective Matthew Stewart, SVU's newest member, had been sitting at his desk all along, turning red and trying to ignore the banter among the three longtime colleagues. Olivia and Rollins interviewed five potential candidates before settling on Stewart, who had the least experience but had an academic background in psychology and came with glowing recommendations.

He shot fin a grateful half-smile and shot up, eager for something to do. He re-tucked his shirt which seemed to naturally come untucked throughout the day and pulled on his jacket which Olivia wasn't certain he could zip. A mop of curly strawberry blonde hair framed a round, doughy face which betrayed a compact, muscular physique. When Fin first saw him, he called him a bulldog, and both Olivia and Rollins agreed the moniker fit perfectly. Despite this, he had already proven himself to be empathetic with victims and effective in interrogations. Confident in his abilities and potential, Olivia hoped it wouldn't take him too long to fit in and get comfortable.

Rollins and Olivia went into the Lieutenant's office.

"Have you heard from Carisi?" Rollins asked. He'd only been undercover for a couple of days, but she worried about her friend, knowing his tendency to go above and beyond the call of duty.

"No," Olivia replied, "He's technically on loan to Narcotics, so they're running the show. And I'm sure they're not reminding themselves to keep me in the loop."

"That bar…it's shady."

"I've never been there. What's the clientele like?" Olivia guessed Amanda's knowledge of the place had something to do with her gambling past.

"Mixed. Mostly working-class but also white collar guys trying to hide…or thinking they're keeping it real, one or the other, you know the type."

"Sure."

"I'm surprised Narcotics hasn't busted it before."

"Well, hopefully their hunch is right and we get something out of it," Olivia said, popping open her soda, "I'd hate to keep Carisi from his family for Christmas."

"You mean your family?"

Olivia smiled, "Well, I suppose so. God, I can't believe it's almost Christmas. This holiday really snuck up on us."

"You've had a lot goin' on."

"To say the least. Hey, tomorrow, drinks and hors de oeuvres at our place…did I mention that?"

"You did. Think we'll all be able to get outta here at a decent hour?"

"If it's like this," Olivia waved her arm in the air, "I'm sure of it."

"I always feel bad leaving Fin…I hope he'll come," Amanda said it as if she were hosting the party.

"Maybe I'll _order_ him to be there." Olivia joked then became reflective, "You know, Fin and I have known each other for a long time."

"You ever think he resents you being his Lieutenant?"

"I never get that vibe. And he could've had your job."

"He's good police."

"And that's what he wants to be," Olivia concluded, "He wants to be a cop out there... _being a cop_."

"Do you miss it at all?"

"I haven't had much time to miss it." Olivia was right. Even when Mike Dodds was there, it seemed like her services were always needed somewhere other than the office. "The thing about this job, even at the desk, even directing behind the scenes, is that there's always a challenge, always something to…conquer…I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Good for us, bad for the public," Rollins concluded. "You, uh, I think it's gonna be…tough…to raise Jesse. You know. Having seen what I've seen."

Olivia took a contemplative sip of her ginger ale, "I think the opposite, actually. Raising Noah…it gives me hope. There's one sweet child who got saved—"

"And saved in a big time way. He hit the jackpot."

Olivia smiled appreciatively and continued, "He was taken from the threshold of hell basically, and look at him…so sweet, smart, funny. He has his moments like we all do, but he's close to the perfect child."

Rollins noticed Olivia's hands drift to her midsection. "And gonna be a great big brother. Have you told him about the twins yet?"

Olivia broke the twins news only to Rollins and only after she returned to the precinct shell-shocked after the doctor's appointment. Fin and Carisi were in interrogations and Rollins had noticed something off with Olivia as they observed.

"No…I'm…I'm hoping to wait until twelve weeks. I'm still a little nervous."

Rollins empathized, "It's scary. Thinking there's this life inside of you…I can't imagine two of them. I was so scared that every little bump was going to cause problems."

The two women locked eyes. Benson and Rollins had a rocky history. However, Amanda had proven herself as a trustworthy ally in the squad room and now she was becoming a confidante, something Olivia desperately needed.

"That scares me, too."

Stunned by her boss's honesty, Rollins balked a little but quickly recovered. "You know when I figured out it was going to be okay? Granted, I'd been a few weeks along before I knew."

"When?"

"I was freaking out at the doctor's office. I'd been chasing perps, not taking care of myself, _drinking_. And do you know what the doc did?"

"What?"

"He played a video of Keri Walsh Jennings playing beach volleyball at the London Olympics. She was flying all over the place, diving, remember that?"

"Of course."

"She was, like four or five weeks pregnant."

"Wow."

"How's Tucker feeling about two babies?"

Thinking about her husband, Olivia broke into a wistful smile, "He's so excited. I think he's even more excited than he's letting on, he knows, and he's been so great about me…all these emotions, this uncertainty, but through it all he's been a rock. I wouldn't be surprised if he's bought things I don't know about."

"Well, if you get suspicious deliveries, you'll know."

Olivia laughed, "Nah, he'd have them sent to his daughters' apartment. And I'm sure those wouldn't be the only baby things there. I'm sure Sarah has baby presents for at least the next year."

"How's Brooke doin' with Carisi undercover?"

Olivia looked dejected, "I'm not sure. She hasn't been around very much. I'm not sure if it's us or her."

"What do you mean?"

"Brooke hasn't exactly been…happy for us."

Amanda sat on the edge of her chair, enjoying the family drama. " _Really_?"

"She's worried. Skeptical. Without saying as much, thinking we're too old. And…maybe we are…at least to most people."

"What's the difference?" Rollins asked. "So you were able to get pregnant. Wouldn't you have tried to have a baby some other way if IVF didn't work?"

"Most likely. But Brooke's mindset is… _I work with all these unwanted, victimized kids, why not walk the walk and adopt one of them_. At least, I think that's what it is."

"Hey," Rollins sounded like she was counseling a victim, "You and I learned a long time ago how to separate ourselves from vics. They're not forever our responsibility. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, Liv. You and your husband have been married for a year and want children together. End of story."

"Sounds simple."

Amanda touched her Coca-cola can to Olivia's ginger ale, "It is.

….

"BACKPACK!"

Noah's blue and red school bag sat on a chair next to the apartment's door. He immediately unzipped the main compartment and checked the contents. He removed two bags, one yellow and one purple.

"Brookey, dis one for you," He handed Brooke the yellow bag. "And dis for Sare bear."

Brooke put the two bags under the tree. "Thanks, No! I can't want to see what's in them. Feels heavy!"

"No peeking, Brookey," Noah warned.

Ed peered at the bag's remaining contents. "Are those two bags for your small sister?"

"Da pink one for small sister. Da blue one for Daddy and Mommy."

"Ohhh," Ed replied, exaggerating his interest, "Wonder what's in there…"

"No PEEKING!"

Brooke laughed, "Hey, No, wanna keep your presents here and me and Sarah will bring them over on Christmas? That way Daddy and Mommy won't peek."

"Okay," Noah agreed hesitantly, "Keep small sister's pesent here, too?"

"Sure. We'll put it with the others."

Ed raised his eyebrows and followed Brooke's eyes to the prodigious stack of presents under the tree. "Wow," he said, "You two have been busy."

"Sarah's been busy," she said, "I need to _get_ busy…everything I bought is unwrapped and in my room. But…I guess I have some time with Sonny's presents."

Ed heard the disappointment in Brooke's voice. "Yeah, that's tough."

"He said it wasn't dangerous."

Undercover was always dangerous, but Ed kept that to himself. "Worried?"

"A little."

"It's okay to be worried, ya know."

Exasperated, Brooke sighed, "How does anyone stay married to a cop?"

Ed rubbed his chin, searching for an appropriate answer. "Uh, it's tough. As you know."

"Do you get worried about Olivia?"

"Not usually."

"I don't worry about Sonny on a regular basis," Brooke said, "But, I guess, I got used to having him around…and not even being able to text him is weird."

"It doesn't sound like he's gonna be under for long," Ed said reassuringly, "But, sometimes, a separation like this is a good thing. Or, can be a good thing if you make it one."

"Yeah," Brooke sighed, "I'm realizing I miss him when he's not here."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"I suppose." Brooke then raised her voice, "Hey! Noah! For someone who warned us about peeking, you're getting might close, mister!"

"Just lookin' Brookey."

"See any for you?"

"Yep! I see N-O-A-H!"

"See any for D-A-D?" Ed asked.

Noah inspected a few tags. "Uh-huh! Dis one right here!"

"Does he know about the twins yet?" Brooke whispered.

"No. Liv wants to wait a little longer. Prolly at the twelve week mark, just to make sure."

"Speaking of worried," Brooke said, "How's she doing?"

"She's good," Ed reported, "Really good, actually. Been a little sick, but lately she's felt more energized and hungry more than anything. I think it's finally sinking in…seeing them move for the first time was a big deal."

"Oh, wow. That must have been… _special_."

"It was. We can see the heartbeats. In a few weeks we'll be able to hear 'em." Even if Ed had tried to hide his elation, he would've been unable to do so. "I can't wait to hold them."

"You're so happy," Brooke smiled sweetly and she felt a little guilty about the distance she'd created between herself and the rest of the family over the past few weeks. Sure, her new job was far more demanding than her old one, but she couldn't justify all of the missed dinners and canceled Noah pickups as work-related.

"I am."

She gave him a playful punch on the arm, "Ready to chase around three of them?"

"Definitely."

"And you know, Sarah and I, we're gonna help."

Ed kissed her cheek, "Good to hear. Thanks, Brookey."

"You're welcome. Hey, Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"What's the first thing you're gonna teach the small sister?"

Noah paused his gift inspection, thought for a few seconds, and then answered matter-of-factly, "Drawing."

"We'll haveta get small sister a tablet like yours," Brooke said.

"Uh-huh!" Noah said.

"You're not gonna share yours, bud?" Ed asked in a teasing tone.

Noah grinned. "Sharing is caring!"

"That's right," Ed flipped Noah upside down and swung him around.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Noah squealed.

Ed lifted him up and gave him an upside-down kiss. "I love you so much, pal. You're such a good boy."

"Luvvvvyou, Daddy!" Back on the ground now, Noah stumbled, "Whoa! I dizzy!" He righted himself, giggled, and walked over to Brooke. "You spin me now, Brookey!"

Brooke took him for an airplane-style spin around the living room and fell with him onto the sofa. "Hey, Noah, why don't you spend the night here with me and Sarah? We'll pig out, wrap presents, and watch movies. Wanna?"

"Uh-huh! I sleep here!"

"Wow thanks," Ed mumbled, "It'll give us a chance to finish up with things at home."

"No problem. We need some brother-sister time."

"I'll go and pack a bag for him. No, you wanna come with me or stay here?"

"Stay here."

"Ok. Be back in a bit."

….

Early Christmas Eve morning Olivia woke a little later than usual. Out of habit, she listened for Noah. Thinking about how they would soon have to resume use of the baby monitor made her smile. Ed's hand on her thigh made her shiver.

"Why are you up?"

"I have to go in for a little while, remember? I told you that last night."

"I only remember one thing about last night, and it wasn't work."

"I'm getting in the shower."

Without a word, Ed dragged himself out of bed and followed her into the bathroom, undressed, and joined her under the pulsating water as if this were their typical daily routine. He squirted too much body wash onto a washcloth and meticulously scrubbed her body. Olivia prepared herself to have to stop him before things really got heated, but Ed simply went about his business as if he'd been hired for that specific purpose. When it came time to shampoo her hair, he massaged her scalp so expertly that Olivia was crushed with disappointment when he started rinsing the product from her locks.

Finished, he kissed her on the mouth and whispered, "All done." Olivia was about to thank him when he added, "Wait, not quite." She watched his hands as he splayed them gently across her unmistakably rounder belly. In the past two days it had noticeably expanded. He pressed his lips to her skin just below her belly button and murmured, "Merry Christmas, Tucker twins."

Olivia clutched his head just below his ears and guided him upward. Water washed over them, saturating their lashes, and the shower was filled with steam. There were so many things she wanted to say to him just then, but she'd said them all so many times before.

 _You're perfect._

 _You're such a good man._

 _I love you._

" _Ed_."

"Yeah?"

"I want it to be like this for the next million years."

"Okay."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thirteen** -(Sunday, December 24, 2017-Monday, December 25, 2017)

Sarah and Brooke helped Ed set out the food and drink for the Tucker's Christmas Eve get-together. Olivia checked in earlier and projected a late afternoon arrival and reminded Ed to pick up the bacon-wrapped scallops and antipasto tray. Everything else had already been purchased and was in the refrigerator, waiting to be transferred to serving trays and bowls.

Sarah busied herself arranging jumbo shrimp around a bowl of cocktail sauce. Noah stood next to her as she worked and occasionally plucked a sample.

"Hey," Sarah scolded him playfully, "You're messing up my presentation!"

"Just eatin' a shrimpie, Sare bear!" Noah chewed hungrily, "Dey good!"

"Is there any food you don't like, Noey boey?"

"Don't like carrots. YUCK!"

"Do you like any vegetables?"

Ed came over and cupped Noah's head lovingly, holding him close for a second, "He likes cauliflower and broccoli, right bud?"

"Uh-huh," Noah answered with his mouth full, "Wiff cheese!"

" _Oh_ ," Sarah said, smiling, "Well, put cheese on anything…you could put cheese on a sardine and I'll eat it."

Ed squinted at his daughter and muttered, "Disgusting."

Over at the dining table, Brooke lit the sterno lamps under the chafing dishes and tried a scallop and then another. "Wow, okay, get me away from these," she said, "They are _so_ good!"

Noah scampered over, "I try one, Brookey?"

"Sure," she took a toothpick and plucked a smallish piece for him.

"YUM!" Noah exclaimed as he chewed.

Ed opened bottles of wine and organized them on the island from dry to sweet. "Hey, No, Did you eat anything today?"

"Cereal wiff Sare bear!"

"Oh shit," Sarah said under her breath, "That's _all_ he's eaten. No wonder he's eating all the food before the guests arrive. Whoops."

"Why didn't you tell us you were hungry, No?" Brooke asked.

The little boy shrugged.

"Didja eat enough junk last night?" Ed asked.

"No junk," Noah replied with a hint of sass, "Oreos. And pizza! And…And…Sare bear what those chips?"

"Doritos."

"Doritos!" Noah exclaimed.

Ed added bottles of vodka, gin, and bourbon to the island along with a large bucket filled with ice and assorted beers. He put out the glassware and cocktail napkins, scanned the room, and let out a satisfied breath. "Looks good in here."

Sarah turned around and stood shoulder to shoulder with him and agreed. In addition to the gigantic tree, Olivia strung lights and garland along the mantle and along the built-in shelves on the other side of the room. Neutral-colored candles had been swapped for red and green ones, and on each side table rested some sort of holiday accent—a snowman, a Santa, or a miniature poinsettia. It was classy and elegant, festive but not overdone.

"Sure does!" Sarah said, "I just hope there's enough room under that tree for Santa Claus to put Noey's presents."

Noah took her playful comment extremely seriously. He looked back and forth from the tree to Sarah who was grinning mischievously, knowing she'd rattled her little brother. Brooke came to his rescue.

"Don't worry, No," she said sweetly, "That's what Santa has the reindeer for. One of 'em will move everything around."

Noah chewed a finger as he considered Brooke's reasoning. "Santa have room," he concluded, turning himself around and pointing out space, "Room here, and here, and here. It okay."

"You're so mean," Brooke said to Sarah as she grabbed a beer.

Sarah stuck her tongue out.

"How old are you?" Brooke asked derisively though unable to hold back her grin.

" _Girls_ ," Ed warned through clenched teeth.

"Daddy, get used to it," Sarah said, nudging him, "Your days of moderating sibling disputes are far from over."

Brooke cracked up. "What if it's two more girls?"

"Omigod, omigod, omigod," Sarah said through giggles, "Daddy starts being a Daddy with two girls and he wraps it up with two _MORE_ girls. Ugh. Poor guy. You and Noey are gonna be besties."

Ed cracked a beer for himself. "Yeah, we might have to turn Noah's room into the man cave," he joked. "Special lock. Mini fridge. We'll put the brown couch in there." Ed's phone pinging interrupted the banter. "Liv's on her way with Rollins."

"Who else is even coming?" Sarah asked, realizing she had no idea who they were entertaining.

"Her whole squad, as long as they can get away. Jesse'll be here. We invited Noah's Spanish teacher, Miss Melia, Cole said he and his wife will stop by. Barba. Also, kinda a surprise, Liv's old Captain is here in town with his girlfriend. He was going to stop by the precinct but I told him to come here instead."

"I remember him," Brooke said, "Nice guy."

"Don't you have any friends who aren't cops?" Sarah asked.

"A few," Ed replied, "But it's Christmas Eve…they have other things goin' on. And Liv wanted something small, informal."

"Looks pretty fucking borderline formal to me."

" _Sarah_." Brooke glanced at Noah, but he was now occupied with his tablet and oblivious to the profanity.

" _Brooke_." Sarah retorted.

Ed shook his head, collected his phone and his beer, and went to join Noah.

….

What Olivia had envisioned as a low-key gathering quickly became spirited and lively. Before either Rollins or Olivia had a chance to remove their coats or stow their bags, Sarah shoved a glass of Prosecco into Amanda's hand and offered to make Olivia any mocktail she wanted. "We have sparkling cider, juice, soda, anything you want, Livvie, and if we don't have something you want, Daddy will go get it."

Noah ran down the foyer to his mother and Olivia crouched down to hug him. He was already talking a mile a minute about the food and Santa and how his sweater was green just like Daddy's. She held him close, kissed his head, and cooed, "You look so handsome, sweet Noah. And thank you for helping get ready for the party!"

"We have shrimpies, Mommy! And cake! Sare bear let me have some arready!"

"She _did_?" Olivia acted surprised.

"It's 'cause it's Christmas!"

"Oh," Olivia grinned at him, "Okay then. That makes sense."

Ed meandered down the hall, "Are we all hanging out here tonight, or…?" Not caring that Rollins stood within a few inches of Olivia, he threaded his fingers through his wife's hair and pressed a firm kiss to her lips.

Rollins wiggled out of her coat and hung it and her purse on the coatrack. "I'll leave you two alone," she joked.

Sarah looked on with a goofy grin, awestruck by the romance. "Gawwwwd, I just love you two," she gushed.

Ignoring her, Ed asked Amanda about Jesse. He was expecting her to be in tow.

"My mother's dropping her off in about an hour," Amanda replied.

"She gonna stay for a drink?" Ed asked out of courtesy.

"No," Amanda said, grateful he'd even offered, "I don't think that's such a good idea. She's having dinner with Kim somewhere and we'll meet them later. We're doing better, but I'm not ready to parade everyone around as the happy family quite yet."

This was all too serious for Sarah. She slung an arm around Amanda's shoulder. "Let's go get you some food. C'mon, Noey Boey, let's show Detective Rollins what a good job we did cooking!"

"We didn't cook, Sare bear," Noah replied honestly as they walked into the main living space.

" _Shhhh_ , Noey, jeez, kid, work with me here."

Taking advantage of a few seconds alone, Ed kissed Olivia again and gazed into her eyes. "How are you?" He asked.

"I feel good. But…I need new pants."

"Maybe Santa will bring you some."

"Did he?"

"No," Ed answered bluntly, a twinkle in his eye, "But you can wear sweats all day tomorrow."

Olivia slid her arms around Ed's waist, "You don't mind?"

"Of course not. You don't have to wear anything if you don't want to."

Olivia rolled her eyes, " _Right_. Naked Christmas with our four-year-old son?"

Ed quickly thought of an alternative. "How 'bout we put the presents out naked?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Two beers. One bourbon." He pulled her close for a quick, passionate kiss. "Taste it?"

Olivia ran her index finger over his lower lip, "I do."

"I'll slow down."

"I'm not worried," Olivia said, "But maybe we should go be social?"

"Alright."

"I'm going to change. I think I have some old, stretched out jeans in there somewhere. If I'm like this at almost ten weeks, I can't wait to see me in a couple of months."

Ed looked her up and down. Unless someone was really studying her closely, she didn't look much bigger when she had her work clothes on. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And you'll _always_ be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

They shared another kiss.

"Okay, Captain," Olivia said, "Let's join our party, shall we?"

Smirking, Ed nodded. "So you'll get back to me about later?"

"Later?"

"Putting the presents out…with no clothes? _Remember_?"

Olivia laughed; she hadn't really thought he was serious. "Yes. I'll get back to you on that."

…

As soon as Jesse arrived, Noah guided her over to the corner of the room where he had already placed a few select toys from his room. Jesse added her own things from her bag, and the two kids sat across from one another.

"You keep those dolls over there," Noah directed his younger friend, "And I build dem a house!"

Jesse smoothed her doll's hair and watched intently as Noah gathered a pile of Legos and began his construction project.

The adults mingled around the island.

"So," Sarah said, "Where's this new detective. I need to check him out."

Rollins choked a little on her drink. "I don't think he's your type."

"No?" Sarah asked, disappointed.

"No."

Sarah looked at Olivia for confirmation and she echoed Rollins. "No."

"Looks like both of us are single for Christmas, sis," Brooke teased.

"You're not single," Sarah said, poking Brooke's shoulder, "You're just on…hiatus…"

"What'd Fin and Stewart find out over at Narcotics?" Rollins asked Olivia.

"Not much. Their Captain was out."

"Daddy," Sarah asked, "Have you ever gone undercover?"

"Yep," he replied.

"Livvie?"

"Several times," she answered.

Ed quickly stepped in to divert and further attention on Olivia's undercover assignments. "Didja at least get Carisi's presents wrapped, Brooke?"

"I did."

"How 'bout you Rollins, all ready for Santa to come tonight?"

"My mom took care of it," Rollins replied. "We're good to go."

There was a knock and the door and Olivia excused herself to answer it. She did a double take at her visitors. Fin was there with Stewart, but standing behind them, beaming, were Captain Cragen and Eileen.

"Captain!" Olivia stepped between her two detectives to hug him and then his girlfriend. "I was wondering if you'd be in town! What a great surprise!"

"We're not here long, but I had to make sure to see you," he replied as Olivia ushered them inside and took their coats.

Ed stood at the end of the foyer, smiling.

"You knew," Olivia concluded.

"I did," he admitted.

Cragen shook Ed's hand, "Tucker, how are ya? Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you. We're good." He called over to Noah, "Hey, bud, remember Captain Cragen? He brought you the police car?"

Noah looked up. His house was now almost as tall as Jesse. Cragen and Eileen went over and said hello to the kids and had them explain what they were doing. They returned with pleasant smiles on their faces.

"Noah's leading construction," Cragen reported.

"So sweet," Eileen added, "He said the house has to be big enough so the dolls don't hit their heads."

Fin, Ed, and Olivia looked at each other. Cragen shifted from foot to foot. Eileen gazed at Noah and Jesse, doing her best to pretend she didn't notice the awkward silence.

Olivia figured everyone who knew about the pregnancy was waiting for her to speak first. "He's very sweet," she said, "And…we can't wait to see him as a big brother."

Cragen's eyes fell to Olivia's waistline. "Are you…"

"Yes," Olivia said, breaking into a wide grin, "I'm pregnant. Ten weeks. With…twins. But Noah doesn't know that yet."

Eileen hugged Olivia, "Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

Cragen shook Ed's hand and then wrapped Olivia into an embrace. "That's so great, Liv. _Wow_."

Sarah walked up to the group. Fin was standing next to Ed, and she put one arm on each of their shoulders, "Well, I see more people have learned of the Tucker twins," she said, her voice low, "Who wants a celebratory cocktail?"

…

With the crowd a little larger, they broke off into smaller groups. Ed talked with Fin and Stewart, who seemed reluctant to leave the older detective's side. Rollins and Sarah chatted with Brooke and Eileen around a bottle of wine, and Olivia and Cragen sat in the living room near Noah and Jesse who were now sitting side by side in the beanbag watching a Christmas movie on the tablet.

"I'm so happy for you, Liv," Cragen said as he took a bite of a scallop.

"Thank you. Me too. And…thank you for, I guess," Olivia nervously tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Cragen finished her thought, "Not being judgmental?"

The two of them had known one another for a long time, but Cragen's ability to read her mind was uncanny and unaffected by time spent apart. "Yes," she admitted. "I appreciate that. And so does Ed."

"Noah and those babies are lucky to have you two as parents," Cragen said.

"Thank you."

"Are you going to think about a different gig?"

"Maybe eventually," Olivia replied, "I know I have a lot of options. But…I can't see myself anywhere other than SVU. It's still a huge part of who I am."

"And it always will be," Cragen said sagely, "But seeing you with a family, Liv, I'm so glad you have that."

"I'm glad _you_ have that."

"Almost missed it."

"Me too."

…..

The group thinned out fairly early. Rollins left after Jesse and Noah finished their movie. Eileen and Cragen followed. Sarah talked Fin and Stewart into staying for a few hands of rummy before they, too departed, leaving only Tuckers remaining. Not ready to go home, Sarah begged to play Uno.

"C'mon. We haven't played in so long, and I bet Noey can play his own hand now. We can add him to the scoresheet!"

"Okay," Brooke huffed. "A couple of games. But I'm tired and I think a little drunk."

"Better you than me," Sarah said, hiccupped, and giggled, "Or…never mind, Noey! Come here and sit by your best sister. Livvie, are you tired? You don't have to play."

"I'm good."

Ed rubbed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Want me to get Noah in his PJs before we start?"

"Sure."

"C'mon, bud. Let's get jammies on then we'll play."

Ed and Noah quickly returned, and everyone complimented Noah on his red toy soldier pajamas. Sarah pulled Noah's chair close to hers, explained the rules again, and promised to help him.

"Don't show your cards to anyone but me, Noey."

As soon as Olivia came into the picture, Brooke kept two running tallies. One for the original three—Brooke, Sarah, and Ed—and another for the four, now five, of them. Ed led in both categories. Noah caught on quickly and was able to play almost unassisted except for the fact he couldn't hold all of his cards, so Sarah put a box of Carr's crackers in front of him so he could lay his cards on the table so only he and she could see them. They had played for about an hour when everyone started yawning.

"Might be time to wrap it up," Ed said, "We'll put the snacks out for Santa and the reindeer and head to bed."

Santa talk perked Noah up a bit. "I get da plate." Sarah helped him down and he went into the kitchen to get the special serving tray for tonight.

"Sare, let's help them clean up before we go," Brooke said.

"Nah," Ed said, "I'll do it while we wait for him to fall asleep."

The knock on the door startled everyone.

"Santa?" Noah asked.

"No, sweet boy, not Santa, not yet."

Sarah showed Noah the Google Santa Tracker, "See Noey, he's not even in the USA yet."

Being that whoever was at the door got to the apartment without being buzzed in, Ed assumed the visitor was a cop or a neighbor. "Maybe someone forgot something," he remarked as he went to see who it was.

The women and Noah heard Ed's jubilant voice say, "Hey! Wasn't expecting to see you!"

Seconds later, Carisi appeared.

"OMIGOD!" Brooke exclaimed, borrowing Sarah's signature expression. She jumped up and ran into his arms.

"SONNY!" Noah shouted and trailed Brooke. He hugged Carisi's leg as he and Brooke kissed.

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Sarah said and ran to join the group hug.

Given the interruptions, the kiss was short-lived, but Sonny and Brooke laughed about it, knowing they could continue later.

"What happened?" Olivia asked, sounding like a cop.

"Someone made me."

Olivia's eyes widened. "And…they just let you leave?"

"Nah," Carisi said, either not aware of the type of danger he'd been in or choosing to ignore it, "They picked up somethin' on the wire and got me outta there. 'Bout an hour ago."

"You're lucky."

"Yeah," Carisi met Brooke's eyes, "Yeah I am."

…

In a veritable nest of lush cotton sheets and blankets, Ed possessively clutched his wife so that every inch of their still-damp bodies was touching. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. No matter how hectic her day had been, he could always detect at least a hint of her shampoo, and he had come to find an immense amount of comfort in that fresh, clean scent. Nuzzling her neck just below her ear with an arm draped across her chest and a leg looped between hers, he whispered, "Was that okay?"

"Mmmmhmmm. Perfect," she mumbled sleepily.

"We always do it good at Christmas."

This elicited a faint chuckle. "We do it good all the time."

"Think we spoiled him too much?"

Presents from Santa now sat in concentric circles around the tree, and Ed realized some merit in Brooke's comment about not having enough room.

"We always do."

"Next year…three of 'em to spoil."

"Yeah," she murmured, "That'll be…chaos."

"Fun chaos."

"Absolutely."

Olivia imagined Noah helping his two infant siblings open their presents, maybe being a little bossy about it, and explaining the function of each toy.

"Am I bothering you?" Ed smiled into her skin.

"No."

"Liar." He felt Olivia shake with more laughter, "Okay, okay, I'll stop talking. But…one more thing."

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you."

…

By the time Brooke, Sarah, and Sonny arrived, Noah had torn through his presents and was playing with his new toys while his mom and dad set out brunch items. As they opened boxes, Ed tried to neatly categorize the loot into neat piles, but Noah now sat in the middle of a heap of games, books, and other gadgets. He gave a few minutes of attention to one thing before moving on to others.

Sarah jumped right in with him. "Merry Christmas, Noey boey! Santa come yet?"

Noah absorbed her hug and gestured around him, "Santa bringed all dis stuff!"

"Wow! Can I play with something?"

Noah grabbed a jigsaw puzzle, "Wanna do this?"

"If you'll put it together with me." Sarah examined the box, "Vintage trains. Daddy musta got this for you."

"From Santa."

"Oh. Hey! We brought the presents you made at school. Can we open them now?"

Noah quickly jumped up to his feet. "Yes!"

Olivia mixed and passed out mimosas and everyone gathered in the living room. Sonny put the colored bags on the coffee table and Noah took inventory.

"Have one for Brookey, Sare bear, Mommy, Daddy, small sister." He looked over at Ed, "Daddy, where Sonny's?"

"Under the tree, bud."

Noah ran over and retrieved the box.

"Kay! Open!"

"All at once sweet boy?" Olivia asked.

"Uh-huh!"

"Who opens the baby's present?" Sarah asked.

"I open it," Noah replied.

Sonny peeled back the metallic silver paper and everyone else dug into the small bags. Later on he and Brooke would leave for Staten Island, but he took a second to appreciate the warmth and comfort of the Tucker home. He appreciated how the Lieutenant so easily and readily accepted him into the family, and even before he saw what was in the package, he was touched that Noah thought of him.

Carefully wrapped in tissue paper was a framed piece of original Noah Tucker artwork. On a piece of gray construction paper, was the image of the man in a suit. While the image had the expected distortions of a child's hand, Noah had taken extra care with the hair. He'd perfectly captured Sonny's slicked-back locks.

"Wow," Sonny gushed, "Wow…Noah…is this me?"

Noah could barely contain his excitement, "Uh-huh! It you, Sonny! You're police! See da badge?"

"I see it. Thank you, Noah! I'm gonna put this on my desk!" Sonny stared at the picture with a silly grin on his face while everyone else marveled at the bagged gifts—small, handcrafted bowls. Each was painted a different color and was emblazoned with the initial of each recipient.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod." Sarah cradled the bowl in her hands, "This is _soooo_ _niiiice_!"

Brooke held hers up to the light, "This is amazing, No! I didn't know you did pottery at school!"

"We maked dem in art!" Noah said proudly.

Ed and Olivia's bowl was slightly larger and contained an additional detail—Noah's handprint.

Tears pooled on Olivia's lower lashes, "Sweet boy," she whispered shakily, "This…this is the best present."

"C'mere, bud." Ed reached for Noah and he and Olivia wrapped him in a bear hug which Noah tried to fight his way out of after a few seconds.

"I show you small sister's."

Sarah nearly collapsed when Noah produced the bowl. She propelled herself forward and landed dramatically, face down, on the coffee table. "I cannot handle the cuteness," she said, her voice muffled. "Oh. My. _Gawwwwwwwwd_."

While the other bowls had clearly been designed by Noah, he'd obviously received some help with this one. It was painted in a light gray and was covered with small pink hearts.

"We put da hearts on dere," Noah explained, pointing at each one, "Hearts 'cause I love small sister."

Olivia would have started crying, but the thud of Sarah's body hitting the floor elicited laughter instead.

Concerned, Sonny, who was wedged with Brooke in the oversized chair, leaned over the armrest, "Are you okay?"

"I'm dead."

Noah climbed on Sarah's back. "You dead Sare bear?" He asked, wide-eyed, collecting a few of her wavy blonde locks in his hand so he could see her face.

"You've killed me with cuteness, Noey," she said, starting to giggle. "You are the perfect brother."

"You perfect."

"You're perfect."

"No, you perfect."

"No, you're perfect."

"No, you perfect."

"No, you're perfect."

….

 **#Tuckson**

 _Sorry for the delay in updating. I fully intend to finish this story, but my #Tuckson heart is a little broken at the moment. Even though this is fic, there's a very thin thread connecting it to canon, and, without that connection, my heart just isn't in it. Hopefully that doesn't show (much) in the ensuing chaps._


	14. Chapter 14

**Fourteen**.

"Livvie, you look very pregnant." Sarah held Olivia by the waist and scrutinized her belly. "Maybe it's the shirt though."

"I don't think it's the shirt," Olivia said, "I feel like I'm getting bigger every day. I'm now only wearing these stretchy maternity pants."

"You can't really tell the difference," Sarah said, "They're cute."

"Thanks."

"How'd your appointment go yesterday?"

"Great. We're seeing the regular OB-GYN from now on."

Sarah noticed Olivia's sweet smile. " _And_ …?"

"And we heard the heartbeats."

"You _heard_ them?" Sarah squealed, "Omigod! _Both_ of them?"

"Yes."

Sarah hugged Olivia tightly. "Were you and Dad, like, dying?"

Both Ed and Olivia had been in a dreamy, blissful state since the previous day's appointment. One baby was still smaller than the other, but the doctor again assured them the discrepancy was normal and he had nothing but positive remarks for the Tuckers. Olivia was gaining the right amount of weight, the heartbeats were strong, and weekly appointments were no longer necessary. They left the office hand-in-hand, went home, and made love.

Today the Tuckers were celebrating their one year anniversary. Before Ed and Olivia had a chance to ask, Sarah volunteered to watch Noah while they went on a date. Even though it was New Year's Eve, she preferred to stay with her little brother than go out and party. They planned to watch movies, order pizza, and eat Oreos. Sarah arrived with a value-sized package.

"Have you told Noey yet?"

Olivia rubbed her hands over her midsection. "We're going to tell him tomorrow."

Sarah grinned, "He's going to be so excited! I can't wait to take him shopping for baby stuff. You're going to find out the sexes, right?"

"I think so."

"Gawwd, I hope there's one small sister in there," Sarah said, "because, if not, Noey's gonna blow a gasket."

"I have a feeling," Olivia said contemplatively, "That everything will work out just fine."

"Ready?"

Ed and Noah joined the women in the kitchen. Noah had an early bath and was already in his pajamas. He curled his face into the back of Ed's neck but smiled at Sarah who came over and pried him away from his Daddy.

"Hi Noey Boey," she cooed, cradling him while she swayed across the room. "Are you gonna kiss me at midnight?"

Neither Ed nor Olivia heard his response. Ed was inches from his wife's face, studying her with a smirk. "You are gorgeous."

"I feel large."

He traced the outline of her face with an index finger. "Nope. Gorgeous."

Their eyes locked and remained open as they shared a kiss and apparently forgot Sarah and Noah were ten feet away. Ed ran his hands up and down her sides and slid his tongue into her mouth, expecting her to shove him away but she lightly scratched the back of his neck and kept him close.

"Ah-hem," Sarah coughed.

Licking their lips, they broke apart, smiling, still gazing at each other.

"Do you want me to take Noey to our house?" Sarah teased.

"I go with you, Sare bear?"

"No," Ed answered, "You and Sare bear are staying here while Mommy and Daddy go out to dinner." Ed reached for his wallet, "Here's money for your pizza."

Sarah giggled at being treated like a teenage babysitter, " _Daddy_ , I'll buy the pizza."

Ed shrugged and left the money on the counter. He took his coat from the rack and put it on. "Liv, which coat you want?"

"Black one."

He handed her the black trench and smirked approvingly as she tied the straps above her expanding belly. Sarah saw the way he was looking, almost leering at her.

"You gonna be able to make it through dinner without ravaging her, Daddy?"

"Maybe," Ed answered coolly, unable to peel his eyes away from his wife.

Olivia blushed. "C'mon, Ed, let's go."

"Stay out as long as you want," Sarah said cheerfully, "Noey and I will be right here on the couch!" She danced Noah around a little longer and swooned when she saw her father playfully pinch Olivia's ass as they exited. "Noey, I want a man to love me as much as Daddy loves Mommy. That's my New Year's resolution. To find a good man."

"Daddy a good man," Noah murmured, already sounding tired. There was no way he would make it to midnight.

"He is. And you will be, too."

"Uh-huh."

"Do you have any girlfriends at school?"

Noah giggled. "Girls there, but I play with da boys."

"Well, when you start dating, make sure you're super nice to your girlfriends."

"You my girlfriend, Sare bear."

Sarah grinned and kissed his forehead. "That's right. For now, I'm your girlfriend. Ready to watch a movie?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Alright." Sarah got several blankets and the pillows from Noah's bed, and she and Noah cuddled together on the couch. The pizza arrived a little while later and they put the box in the center of the coffee table, not bothering with plates. Sarah let Noah have a little of her Coke, hoping the caffeine would help keep him awake. They opened the Oreos and ate away, finishing almost a whole row before Noah laid his head against Sarah and sighed.

"You okay, Noey?"

"I full."

"Me too."

"I love you, brother."

"Luvvvyou, sister."

"Next year when we do this, we'll have small sister with us."

"Yeah," Noah broke into a languid smile, "But small sister can't have Coke."

"She can't?"

"Nope!" He announced cheerfully, "Coke for da big kids!"

…

The waiter delivered dessert and swore he had never seen a couple so unapologetically in love. Whenever he visited their table, they gave him the bare minimum of attention. Both the man and the woman always kept one eye on each other, and while they weren't impolite, they clearly wanted to be left alone as much as possible.

"One year," Olivia mused as she spooned a bite of chocolate cake into her mouth.

"Prolly didn't think you'd be sitting here pregnant at this time last year, huh?"

Olivia smiled. "No, I did not. Did you?" Her grin widened when she saw him blush. She loved when something she said made him suddenly bashful.

"Of course not," he answered, almost in a whisper. "A…very pleasant surprise."

"You're going to be so cute…holding them, taking care of them."

"You think so?"

Olivia took another bite. "Yeah," she murmured. "It's kinda sexy…thinking about you…and babies."

His face reddened even more. "Hope I don't disappoint ya."

The hint of trepidation in his words startled Olivia. "Hey," she reached for his hand, "That's not happening."

"You know how important it is to me…that I don't screw this up."

"I know. And you won't. _We_ won't." Olivia desperately wanted the confident, cocky swagger to return to her husband's demeanor. "This has been the best year of my life, Ed. You have made my life so…amazingly wonderful…I trust you, I love you, I _believe_ in us."

"I do too."

"But you don't believe in yourself?"

Ed hadn't touched his dessert. He twirled the fork in his hand. "I guess not," he mumbled, "Not completely."

Olivia shook her head, "Stop that," she said firmly, "You've more than redeemed yourself for your mistakes." She was still holding one of his hands and she gave it a squeeze. "You don't need to be in redemption mode anymore."

Ed put his fork down and took Olivia's other hand. "You know what?"

"What?"

"You always make me feel so… _good_." Ed stroked the tops of her hands with his thumbs. "You have this extraordinary ability to do that…it's remarkable. It think…it's one of the best things about you. I mean, I spent my whole career, almost, making people feel horrible about themselves, and you've done the exact opposite."

"You wouldn't have had to do that job if everyone had your sense…of integrity, of right and wrong. And you're going to instill those values in Noah, and," Olivia's eyes drifted down to her belly, "these two, and they'll be good people because of _both_ of us."

Ed's familiar smirk returned to his face. "We're telling Noah tomorrow. First thing, right?"

"Right."

"What if he gets two brothers?"

Olivia chuckled a little, "Sarah said he would blow a gasket, but I'm not worried."

"You're not?"

"Not at all. Not about anything. Not anymore."

"You can be worried, ya know. It's okay."

"I know," Olivia replied, "And I think that's why I'm not."

….

While Ed and Olivia wrapped up their meal and began the short walk home, Brooke and Carisi were just leaving for a neighborhood pub they frequented. Sonny had offered to cook and suggested they stay in, but Brooke's alma mater was playing in a bowl game and she wanted a livelier atmosphere. They found seats at the bar, ordered drinks, and got comfortable.

Since Sonny's brief stint undercover, he'd been working fairly regular hours and spending a lot of time with Brooke who had been on winter break. They didn't have enough time to go away someplace warm, but Carisi suggested they plan a tropical getaway for February or March and Brooke agreed.

"I think, this summer, I want to start looking for a place of my own."

Sonny raised his eyebrows. Talking about taking a vacation together was one thing. Brooke moving out and away from her sister was another. "Your own?" He asked, unsure of where he fit into that picture.

"I've saved quite a bit of money thanks to my Dad," Brooke replied, not realizing the purpose of his question, "And I feel bad, hanging onto that apartment when he and Olivia could sell it. With twins? Three kids? Eventually they're going to have to move."

"What about Sarah?"

Brooke didn't seem concerned, "She'd live with me forever if I let her. She needs to move on, grow up. She'll be fine. She's making more money than all of us combined."

Carisi stalled and took a long sip of his beer before he finally asked the question gnawing at him. "So, uh, you doin' this by yourself, or…"

Brooke looked surprised. "Um…I…is that something you want to talk about doing together?"

Carisi chewed the inside of his mouth. Brooke didn't seem nervous or unsure of herself, but he couldn't believe she would bring up buying an apartment and not think about the possibility of him joining her in the venture. "Yeah," he replied slowly, "It's definitely something I wanna talk about."

"I…I didn't know, I guess," Brooke stammered and searched for the right words, "I guess I didn't know how to bring it up. This is all…new to me."

Sonny angled his head so he could look her in the eye. "Are you happy?"

"What?" Brooke blinked.

"Are you happy? With the way things are?"

"Yes…it's been, this has all been surprisingly…good. Are _you_ happy?"

Sonny grinned, "Absolutely. No doubt about it. I told you," his voice grew softer and he put a hand on Brooke's shoulder, "I love you, Brooke. And that's not going away. Not somethin' that I just thought I'd say…I really do love you, and I want to be with you."

He sounded like he had something to add, but he merely gazed at Brooke with a hopeful glint in his eye. Being in a relationship confused Brooke to no end. Often, when Sonny was home with her, she longed to be alone, yet when he was away, she found herself quickly missing him.

"I love you, too," Brooke croaked, "And…I want to be with you."

" _But_?"

A smile crossed her face, "Nothing," she said, trying to sound convincing, "You, us, it's just surprised me is all. I've never been in a relationship like this one before."

"Me neither."

"But you always seem so confident about everything."

"Because I am," Carisi answered, "Just because this is new doesn't mean I don't realize I'm in love with you." He leaned in for a kiss, "We're supposed to be celebrating."

Brooke smiled as his lips touched hers.

"Got a little serious there, huh?" She whispered.

"Ah, a little, but it's good." Sonny raised his glass. "To 2018. And us."

They clinked glasses, shared another kiss, and turned their attention to the game.

…

When Ed and Olivia returned home, Noah was asleep on the couch and Sarah was watching the New Year's Eve festivities at Times Square with the sound turned low. She smiled and whispered "hey," and carefully extracted herself from the mounds of covers, making sure not to jostle Noah too much. It was still early, but Sarah bundled up and got ready to leave.

"You don't want to stay?" Olivia asked graciously.

"No," Sarah replied softly and gave Olivia and her Dad a hug, "I'm heading home. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah we did," Ed answered, rubbing Olivia's back, "Thanks for staying with him."

"No problem. I apologize for the damage done to his health."

"To be expected."

Sarah yawned. "Okay, I'm out. Happy New Year."

"Want one of us to drive you?"

Sarah waved away the offer, "Nah. Night night."

Ed lifted Noah from the couch and took him to his bed. Olivia followed and they took turns kissing his forehead before turning on his nightlight and settling on the couch. They left the television on and smiled at the craziness. As the hour got closer to midnight, Olivia sunk more deeply into Ed and he traced little circles around her belly button.

"You're probably gonna get annoyed with me doin' this soon, aren't you?"

"No." Olivia looked up at him and he planted a quick kiss on her lips. "I love it when you touch me."

"Good," Ed replied smugly, "Because I love touching you. _Everywhere_."

Olivia laughed into his chest. She was in a reflective, contemplative mood. "I think…the first time we made love…it was this time of year."

"Yeah it was."

"You remember that?" For some reason, this surprised Olivia.

"Of course. I'll never forget it. I couldn't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"A combination of things. Seeing how beautiful you are, feeling…overwhelmed…at how much I loved you, _love you_. I don't really think I'd ever known what it was like to actually _make_ _love_ to someone until we were together."

"Are you trying to make me cry?"

Ed met her eyes. His face oozed with affection and sincerity. "No."

"Is this a prelude to foreplay?"

"You want it to be?"

Olivia dug her fingers into his thigh and used the leverage to lift herself up and meet his lips. "I want _you_ , Ed." She opened her mouth wide, inviting him in, and he eagerly accepted the invitation, holding the back of her head with one hand and reaching under her shirt with the other.

"Here or bedroom?" He rasped.

"Bedroom."

Not bothering to turn off the television, they meandered their way to their room and rang in 2018 the same way they'd ushered in the two previous years—naked and sated in each other's arms, exchanging _I love yous_ , and feeling eternally grateful they'd stumbled upon their respective soul mates before it was too late.

….

Caroline was hosting a New Year's Day brunch, but before making their way to Riverdale, Ed and Olivia had an important undertaking to accomplish. After dressing Noah in jeans and a navy sweater, Olivia brought him into the living room where Ed was busy folding the blankets Noah and Sarah used the previous night.

"Daddy! I have blue shirt and you have blue shirt!"

"Yeah, bud, we match. I love it when we match!"

"Uh-huh!" Noah marched around the coffee table, "Gonna see Gamma Care-line today!"

Olivia sat in the large chair, "That's right, sweet boy! But first, Daddy and I have something to tell you."

Ed put the pile of folded blankets on the far end of the couch and took a seat on the corner closest to where Olivia was sitting. "C'mere pal," he said, holding out his arms.

Sensing something was up, Noah grew silent and obediently climbed into Ed's lap.

Olivia picked up the latest sonogram print and inched forward, showing it to Noah. "You know what this is, right, sweetheart?"

"That small sister," Noah replied, almost in a whisper.

"Right," Olivia replied. She pointed to the image labeled Baby A. "Here's one baby. And, this one," she slid her finger to Baby B, "Is another baby. _Two_ babies."

Noah stuck out his lips as he studied the picture. After a few seconds, he pointed at Baby A. "Dis small sister?"

"Maybe."

"And dis _anovver_ small sister?"

"Could be a brother, bud," Ed chimed in, "Might be a boy like you."

Noah peered more closely at the picture. " _Yeahhhh_ ," he murmured, "A boy like me."

"So," Olivia said, "Mommy has two babies in her tummy."

Noah let his eyes drift from the picture to his mother. He wiggled from Ed's lap and cautiously approached her. "I give small sister hugs," Noah said, referring to the bedtime ritual he'd practiced for the past few weeks.

"Yes, Noah. I know. That's so sweet and nice."

"I give TWO hugs now," Noah concluded matter-of-factly and gently wrapped his arms around Olivia's protruding belly. "One," he mumbled, his face pressed against her sweater. He retreated for a second and then resumed his previous position. "Two."

Ed mussed his hair. "You're gonna be such a good big brother, bud. Whaddya think about _two_ babies?"

Noah still seemed a bit awestruck, but he regarded Ed's question seriously.

"We gotta get more trains, Daddy."

Ed tickled him and then wrapped him into a bear hug. "No problem, bud. We'll get as many trains as we need!"

…

# **Tuckson**


	15. Chapter 15

**Fair warning: I have zero motivation to write #Tuckson at the moment. Hopefully that will change, but I know some of you are anxiously waiting for an update. So, here it is, but it's not my best and there are angsty undertones because, well, you know…**

 **Fifteen.**

It had been a long time since Trevor Langan set foot in the Sixteenth Precinct. Initially, nobody batted an eye him, but as he passed, the detectives engaged in a series of double takes. When he disappeared into the Lieutenant's office, they whispered theories back forth, and strained to take surreptitious glances between the slats of the blinds.

Olivia, too, was surprised to see him. Since Noah's adoption, Langan had essentially disappeared from the Manhattan criminal courts and from SVU's sphere. She greeted him with a wide yet inquisitive smile.

"Langan!"

"Hello Olivia," He sauntered in and was about to take a seat, but Olivia had risen, intending to offer a warm handshake. However, her swollen belly quickly diverted the greeting rituals. "Wow!" He gasped, "Uh, congratulations!" His eyes drifted to her left hand and then to her eyes. "I was going to say 'long time no see,' but I guess that's a bit of an understatement."

"A lot has changed."

"I see."

His shocked smile faded a bit.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked.

"We should sit."

Langan danced around his point. "First of all, you should know, this holds absolutely no weight."

"What does?"

"A petition's been filed in family court. I was just notified this morning. A petition to grant visitation."

"For who?" Olivia asked even though the sinking feeling in her gut had already answered the question.

"Noah."

Olivia squinted. "How is that even possible?"

Trevor produced an envelope from his jacket pocket and slid it across the desk. "Apparently…even the average Joe can use sites like Ancestry to track down relatives. Johnny D's half-sister initiated the request."

Olivia's jaw fell as she read the paper, and she tossed it aside, unable to finish the entire page. "Absolutely not."

"We, or, _I_ , have to respond. But there's no way any judge will grant this. I can't remember it ever happening. But you have to know."

"When's the hearing?"

"Two weeks."

"I'll be there."

"Olivia—"

"I. Will. Be. There."

Langan nodded and left without another word.

…..

In their shared bathroom, Sarah fussed over Brooke's hair and makeup. Tonight was the older sister's tenth high school reunion. It was an informal matter, the _real_ reunion was the twentieth, or at least that's how Sarah perceived things. Two decades, not one, was ample time to have charted your destiny and made a great enough impact on the world so that you would feel proud and accomplished reporting it to the people you knew when you were pimply and awkward and, for most people, a virgin.

"Is Sonny meeting you there?"

"If he can. He's really busy."

"Didn't you once say you didn't want to date a cop?"

"I've said a lot of things," Brooke managed to wriggle out of Sarah's control for a second and get a good, square look at herself in the mirror. "I don't think I've ever worn this much makeup. Are you sure I don't look like a whore?"

Sarah smacked her lips. "You look elegant. It's _cocktail_ party."

Brooke eyed her new black dress hanging from the molding above the door. It was simple—V-neck, slightly open back, and its fell just above the knees. Sarah chose outrageously high heels to go along with it, but Brooke had already stowed ballet flats in her purse.

"Can I ask," Sarah said as she twirled a section of Brooke's hair on the curling wand, "Why exactly you're having a reunion in the middle of winter?"

"It's almost March," Brooke pointed out, "And I don't know. I had nothing to do with it. It's probably the only time event spaces were available…and cheap-ish."

"You mean to tell me Stuy graduates don't have enough money to pony up dough for a nice event space _in the spring_?"

"I really don't know. Nor do I care. I don't even want to go. This is something more up your alley."

Indeed, Sarah had been active in several organizations as a high schooler, including student government. She prided herself on her long list of titles—SGA Vice President, National Honor Society President, Beta Club Treasurer, Future Business Leaders of America President—by the time she graduated, her resume was a mile long. Brooke, on the other hand, lingered on the periphery of almost everything, befuddled at how some students had the time, willingness, and motivation to have so much on their plate when they were sixteen or seventeen years old.

"Then why are you even going?"

"Curiosity."

"Well," Sarah stepped back and admired her work. Brooke's shoulder-length bob was styled in perfect loose spirals. Sarah had applied what seemed like ten different eyeshadow colors, but whatever she'd done was genius because Brooke's blue eyes popped to prominence. The wine colored lip gloss worked with a light pink blush to further her radiant appearance. The makeup served as an optical illusion. Her cheekbones appeared more defined than they actually were.

"I look like you," Brooke murmured.

Pretending to be offended, Sarah replied, "Well, I don't think that's such a bad thing."

"It's not." Brooke reached for her phone, "I just wish Sonny could go."

"He'll show up."

"I'm not so sure. Olivia's given him a lot of breaks—New Years, Valentine's Day, he can't keep taking advantage of her."

"What a fucking awful job," Sarah's voice was almost a sneer, "How in the hell has Livvie done that for all these years and she's, like, normal?"

"I don't know," Brooke mumbled contemplatively, "I guess she's had to work…to separate the horrible things she's seen with her life."

"And the horrible things that have been done to _her_."

"At what point are you going to drink too much and ask her about all that?"

Sarah took a defiant sip of her wine which had been mostly untouched as she primped her sister, "Never. I could never ever ask her about that. I bet she hasn't even told Dad all of it."

Brooke frowned, "I bet she has."

"Would you tell Sonny everything…if something like that happened to you?"

"I don't know. I can't imagine what that would be like. And I don't want to."

"Speaking of," Sarah plucked the dress from the hanger, "I'm walking you."

"I'll be fine."

"Nope, you look too hot to go alone. And if Sonny doesn't show up, I'm picking you up."

"You're crazy. What about you? You'll be walking alone."

Sarah regarded herself in the mirror and laughed. "Brooke, I am in sweats. I haven't showered since I got home from work last night. I don't even remember if I've brushed my teeth today. I pity the person who tries to fuck with me. Also, I have pepper spray and Siri."

Brooke rolled her eyes and nudged her sister into the hallway. "At least put a bra on."

….

Ed silently scolded himself for feeling a tiny bit relieved that Noah was sleeping late on this Sunday morning. In a few months, his whole life would be thrown into what he and Olivia already agreed was going to be pleasant chaos, and he knew he had to be prepared to operate on little to no sleep. However, things would be different in those first few months. As the Tucker clan adjusted to being the five of them, both he and Olivia would be home, and he planned to make her transition to being a mother of three as easy as possible. For now, though, they were both still cops. His job was nowhere near as demanding as hers, and he was thinking about proposing some type of semi-retirement deal before the twins' arrival. Olivia, though, had been working almost nonstop. Ed worried about her, but when she arrived at home, fatigued but in good spirits, he reminded himself how tough she was and how she would never push herself to the point that the babies were in danger.

"Noah's not up yet?" Olivia mumbled sleepily with her eyes still closed.

"Haven't heard from him." Ed eyed their door which was slightly ajar. "But, I didn't know _you_ were up and you're right here next to me."

Olivia reached for him. "You changed your breathing."

" _What_?" Ed asked, cuddling her.

"I can tell when you're not asleep anymore. I can feel it."

"Wow," Ed murmured, "Is that something new or have you always been able to feel it?"

"New."

Ed chuckled a little into her neck. He loved experiencing her pregnancy whims. Even when she was cranky and felt bloated and uncomfortable and moaned about how _if she was like this now, imagine in a few weeks,_ his affection and admiration for her grew to levels of intensity he'd never imagined existed.

"Whaddya want to do today?" He asked.

"Cribs."

"Cribs?"

"Yes."

The office had been cleared out. What didn't fit into the already-packed closets went into a small storage unit. Ed painted the walls a pale yellow and hung the drapes Olivia picked out, but, other than that, the nursery was empty.

"And a dresser. They can share…at first, right?"

He kissed her forehead, "I think so."

"Are you sure you don't want to find out the sexes?"

At their last appointment, they had been offered the opportunity to know if they were having sons or daughters or one of each, and having not actually thought about it much, they declined and promised to think it over before the next checkup.

"I kinda wanna be surprised."

"Okay."

Olivia didn't sound convinced.

"But, if you want to know, I'm fine with that, too."

"I want two healthy babies."

"Me too," Ed caressed her stomach and whispered, "They're strong. They're tough kids. I can already tell."

Olivia put her hands over Ed's. "Eighteen weeks. Almost half way."

There was a nagging concern in the back of her mind, and that was the strong possibility of an early delivery. Their due date was mid-July, but Olivia and Ed both knew that was probably a generous estimate.

Sensing her unspoken anxiety, Ed pulled her closer and kissed her again. She kissed back with lips slightly open. He gladly accepted the encouragement and swirled his tongue around hers as he slid a hand under the waistband of her pajama pants. Olivia moaned into his mouth and lifted her hips, her fingernails dug into his back, lately she'd been almost constantly in a turned-on, hypersexual state, and as soon as she began coming into consciousness, she was ready for him.

" _Ed_ ," she gasped urgently when he ceased all movement.

"Noah's up."

Sure enough, they heard the little boy's footsteps patter through the corridor. He whimsically mumbled something to himself. Then silence. Then the screeching of the stepstool in the bathroom, the whoosh of the water pouring into the sink, and the hollow clunk when Noah dropped his plastic cup back on the countertop. His next stop was, most likely, his parents' room.

Ed rolled over onto his back. Olivia stretched, tousling Ed's short hair in the process, and groaned again.

"I _want_ you."

"We'll take him to the park and crib shopping and wear him out," Ed suggested, "There's always naptime."

"I love naptime."

Noah skipped into the room just then. His hair was a mess and his shirt was dotted with the water he'd dribbled down his shirt. Ed lifted him onto the bed.

"Mornin' bud!"

"G'mornin!"

"Sleep good?"

"Uh-huh." Noah leaned over and inspected his mother's belly. "Dose babies gettin' BIG!"

Olivia smiled. "They sure are sweet boy! We're going to shop for their beds today. Will you help us pick them out?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Hungry bud?"

"Yes! I _verrrrrrry_ hungy!"

"Whatcha want me to make for breakfast?"

"Scrambly eggs!"

"You got it."

Noah let himself fall from Ed's chest to the space between him and Olivia. He curled into his mother's side. "You have scrambly eggs, Mommy?"

"That sounds good."

Ed slung his legs over the side of the mattress, "I'll go get started. Liv, you want tea?"

"Please." Olivia held Noah tightly, "We'll be out in a few minutes."

Surprisingly, Noah didn't try to squirm out of the snuggle session. Olivia kissed his head and breathed in the scent of his sweet-smelling shampoo. She allowed her mind to drift to the milestones they'd achieved together—the moment they first met, the day Judge Linden shocked her by making her a foster mother, and that sweet spring day when he became Noah Porter Benson. Now they both were Tuckers. They were an integral part of a strong family unit that looked nothing like Olivia had ever experienced or ever expected.

From the kitchen, she heard the clanking of pans and cabinets and the refrigerator doors opening and closing. Her husband, Ed Tucker of all people, was hard at work, diligently, dutifully, preparing their breakfast.

Out of guilt and maybe a bit of shock at her forgetfulness, Olivia nearly stopped breathing when she realized she still hadn't told him about Langan's visit.

…

Sarah lightly rapped on Brooke's bedroom door. A few minutes earlier she emerged from her own room clad in her typical panties-and-tee-shirt sleep attire only to find a stranger snoring on their couch. Brooke had more fun at the reunion than she'd predicted and ended up going for a nightcap with some old friends. She assured Sarah she would get home safely. Apparently, she had, but she wasn't answering and Sarah hadn't had time to look for signs of Sonny being home. She knocked one more time to no avail and then entered.

Brooke laid on her side with the covers bunched around her neck, but her shoulders were bare.

"Brooke," Sarah hissed.

The older sister stirred. "Hmmmmph."

" _Wake up_ ," Sarah gripped both of her sister's shoulders and shook her.

"Ugh," Brooke reached for her blanket, but Sarah blocked her.

"Who is sleeping on our couch?"

"Vance. Remember him?"

Sarah knelt over Brooke and frowned. "No. I don't. And…are you dressed?"

"No."

"Is he dressed?"

"I don't know."

"What is he doing here?"

"He lives in Jersey. We were out. Late. I told him he could stay here."

"Why are you both naked?"

"I don't know why he's naked, if he is." Brooke managed to roll over and open her eyes. Her lids were caked with leftover makeup. She rubbed them, swiping black smears across her face. "Me. Well. I don't know. Maybe I was waiting for Sonny."

Heavy footsteps echoed in the hall. The overnight guest was making his way to the bathroom. On the way out, he poked his head into Brooke's room. Clad only in his boxers, he smiled awkwardly. "Hey."

Sarah was blunt. "You look like shit."

"I feel like it."

"Where'd you guys go? I didn't hear you come home."

Brooke modestly tugged the covers up below her neck. "Where didn't we go?"

"Kinda hopped from bar to bar," Vance scratched his head, winced, and leaned against the doorframe.

Sarah sized up his six-foot frame. He looked oily. A sickening sheen coated both his sandy blonde hair and identically-colored stubble. His eyes were blue but so sunken they appeared much darker. He wasn't handsome—he had a round, doughy face that reminded her of Jeff and his chest had the definition of a pillow. She couldn't believe he was walking around the apartment shirtless.

"Do you need a ride home?" Sarah asked politely but there was an edginess in her voice. "I can use my Dad's car."

"Uh, no, I'll take the train." Taking the hint, he nodded, "Thanks, Brooke. It was good to see you."

"You too."

Seconds later, another, more familiar voice filtered into Brooke's bedroom.

"Uh, who are you?"

Envisioning Sonny with his hand on his gun, Sarah dashed out to the living room.

"Sonny!"

Carisi hadn't drawn his weapon, but he stood in front of the door, tensed, staring at the stranger who was in the middle of disentangling his undershirt from his sweater. When he finally righted the garments, Vance stuck out his hand.

"Hey, I'm one of Brooke's friends. From the reunion. We, uh, had a little too much fun last night."

Sonny eyed the obviously-slept on sofa and then regarded Sarah quizzically.

She shrugged. "I told those crazy kids to behave."

"Oh, well, uh…glad you had a good time," Sonny replied flatly and stepped aside, inviting Vance to exit. He took the cue and hustled out without tying his shoes.

"What the hell?"

Again, Sarah shrugged. Unfazed about being in her underwear and t-shirt, she skipped into the kitchen and started coffee while Sonny remained cemented near the door, wearing the same suit he'd had on for over twenty-four hours.

"It was a reunion," Sarah explained. "They got fucked up."

"He _stayed_ here?"

"On the couch."

"Where's Brooke?"

"In bed. Where she'll most likely be all day."

Sarah started to say something else, but Sonny had already disappeared into the back of the apartment.

….

In the newly-painted Tucker nursery, Ed meticulously constructed the identical white slatted cribs. He spread the directions in the center of the room, figuring that after he put one bed together the next one would be a snap. Noah crouched at his side with a screwdriver in one hand and a small wrench in the other, ready to assist.

"Daddy, da babies sleep in here?"

"Well, when they're first born, they'll sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room."

"Why?"

"They'll wake up a lot and need to eat."

" _Ohhhhh_ ," Noah murmured. "I get up and eat, too?"

Ed let out a strained chuckle, "No, bud. Big kids and Mommies and Daddies, we have bigger stomachs, so when we eat the food lasts longer."

"Babies sleep wiff me?"

"Not at first," Ed replied, "You need your sleep and the babies will wake you up." Ed circled the first crib, tightened the screws, and jostled it, testing its stability. "But, we're gonna need ya to help feed the babies. Give 'em their bottles."

This possibility intrigued Noah. " _I_ feed dem?"

"Yeah." Ed paused his inspection and grabbed one of the Boppy pillows stashed in the corner of the room. "We'll put one of the babies on this and you can hold the bottle." Noah still seemed a little befuddled and Ed pulled him close in a little side hug. "Don't worry, bud, we'll show ya how. Actually, _I_ have to learn how again. It's been a long time since I fed a baby."

"Mommy know how," Noah said confidently.

"Yeah. That Mommy. She sure is somethin." Ed started peeling the plastic away from the parts of the second crib. "Hey, you know what? We need to start thinking about a special present for Mommy, to give her after the babies are born."

"Okay! I draw her a picture!"

"That's a good idea."

"It have me, Daddy, Brookey, Sare bear, small sister, and, and," Noah stammered, not having figured out exactly how to identify the second sibling.

Ed helped him out, "Remember what we told you? You could get two small sisters. Or a small sister and a baby brother. Or two brothers."

Noah shook his head adamantly. "No. I have small sister." Ed started to say something, but Noah continued. "And she play trains wiff me, she have her _pink train_. Den I take her to school wiff me!"

"You're gonna take her to school?" Ed reached out and tickled Noah's belly

"Uh-huh," Noah giggled.

"Know what, pal?" Ed put down the crib section and lifted Noah high over his head before hugging him tightly. "I love you so much. You're such a good boy."

"I da big brovver," Noah mumbled into Ed's shoulder.

"Yep. And you're also my assistant," Ed put him down, "One more crib to go. Then we'll take a break and get something to eat."

"At da pub?" Noah asked hopefully.

"That's whatcha want?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You got it."

…

Later that week, Brooke took advantage of a much-needed day off and dropped by the precinct to surprise Sonny with the hopes of taking him out for lunch. In his typical calm, sensitive fashion, he listened to and accepted Brooke's assurance that her night partying with old high school classmates was exactly that and didn't involve any disloyal dalliances. Nevertheless, Brooke felt the need to make up for something, so after her morning run and a doctor's appointment, she arrived at SVU and found Sonny at his desk, poring over surveillance footage.

"Hey there."

"Brooke!" He said, maybe a little too cheerfully, clearly not expecting her.

"I had the day off, remember?"

"Of course." He pushed the laptop to the side. "What's up?"

"Wanna do lunch?"

Carisi clenched his teeth. "Uhhh, I don't know if I can. We have—"

"A rapist on the loose?"

The slightly insensitive question bothered him, but he tried not to let on, "Um, yeah, you could say that."

"Want me to go get something and you can take a little break here?"

"Sure, that's a good compromise."

"I'll see if Olivia wants something." Brooke leaned over to inspect the Lieutenant's office, "Who's that in there with her?"

"He's a lawyer. Was Noah's lawyer…when he was in the foster system."

"Oh." Brooke was seconds from letting the comment slide but something seemed off. "Why's he here?"

"No idea." Sonny went back to staring at his grainy black-and-white footage, "So, you wanna do Chinese?"

"Um, sure," Brooke backed away from his desk slowly. "I'll get something for her just in case. Anyone else?"

"Nah. Rollins and Fin are out. New guy…he brings his own food. On some special diet. I brought some cannoli and you woulda thought there was a grenade inside of 'em."

Brooke made her way to the restaurant, an unsettling feeling gnawing at her. Part of it was Sonny and his relationship with Olivia. He had a unique perspective now—he was both her coworker and a veritable family member—but, aside from Ed, he was the one with the most complete picture of the Lieutenant. To Brooke this didn't seem quite fair. Also, aside from the information he'd already let slip, she was pretty sure he was careful about what he revealed and what he kept to himself.

So now there was a lawyer, _Noah's lawyer_ , in her office. Why would he be there when Noah had already been legally adopted by both Olivia and her father? Wouldn't hounding a family after these proceedings be unfair and cruel? The meeting could have been totally unrelated to Noah. Maybe she was overreacting. But why would Olivia meet with a lawyer when there was no interrogation going on? Surely she was not thinking of adopting while pregnant with twins.

The questions ping-ponged in her mind for the rest of the day, and when Sonny came home later that night, he barely had the time to change clothes before Brooke pressed him for more details.

"I only overheard them as they walked out," he said, "Just apologized and said he'd see her tomorrow morning."

….

Olivia propped her head on two throw pillows and stretched out on the sofa. At the opposite end, Ed worked his fingers up and down the soles of her feet, kneading with his knuckles and then rubbing concentric circles with his thumbs. To his delight, Olivia passed off some work to her detectives and came home early, in need of some quiet time and her husband's tender touch. Both intentionally and unintentionally, she'd been avoiding telling Ed about the hearing. Absentmindedness aside, every time she thought of it, something interrupted them, or they were in the middle of a sweet moment, or they'd just made love and she didn't want to cloud the afterglow. She justified her silence with Langan's assurances that this was a frivolous, throwaway motion, albeit one that had to be heard. However, her window was closing. The hearing had been moved up on the judge's calendar, and Linden would hear the motion at eight the next morning.

"Mmmmm, Ed, _God_ , that feels so good."

He only smirked at her and concentrated harder.

"I need you to come to the precinct around noon each day and then maybe later in the afternoon."

"You'd get sick of me."

"No I wouldn't."

"Yeah ya would. You need your space. Even when you're pregnant with our babies."

Olivia cast him a knowing smile, "You're right."

"Thank you," he said sassily, still smirking, a lecherous look forming on his face.

Another intimate moment. Another time she wanted to bury the news. But time was something she no longer had on her side. Biting her lip, she said, "I have to tell you something."

Ed slowed his massage pattern. Two seconds ago he thought they were headed for a pre-Noah-pickup quickie and now she sounded gravely serious.

"What's that?"

"I have to be in family court tomorrow."

He dropped his hands to his side. "Why?"

"A relative…a half sister of…Johnny D…found out about Noah." Olivia had never seen Ed's eyes so wide. "And she's filed a motion for visitation."

Olivia had seen her husband at his very best and his very worst. She knew his breathing patterns, his natural movements, and, most prominently, his expressions. The glare he shot her at that moment had not surfaced in a while.

"And the hearing's _tomorrow_? When did you find out about this?"

"Last week," Olivia admitted.

Exasperated, Ed stalked to the kitchen and back again. He breathed deliberately, trying to stifle his anger, not wanting to lash out at his wife who was obviously remorseful. He felt his temples pulsate and blood rush to his cheeks.

"And…you didn't tell me right away, Liv, God, this is…it's a big deal." Ed wanted to continue. He wanted to go on a rant about how he still wasn't convinced she understood she wasn't alone, that she didn't have to deal with this type of thing by herself. These obstacles nearly derailed their relationship when they were dating, and, every once in a while, Olivia regressed to her pre-Tucker norms. In these instances, Ed tried not to be disappointed, but he couldn't help it. He'd already almost lost her once. Considering everything they'd built together, he was confident their marriage would last forever, but these lapses still troubled him.

"I know," she replied, her voice trembling, "I…I was waiting for the right time, and the hearing wasn't supposed to be for another week and…I've, with all this going on, I…" Olivia wiped beads of cold sweat from her brow.

Except for pink cheeks, the color had otherwise drained from her face.

"Liv?" Ed rushed to her side, "Liv? Baby? What's wrong?"

"I'm just a little lightheaded." Her breath came only in pants now and she breathed as if she were in labor.

Ed looked up and down her body. "Liv?"

"I'm fine." She sat up, but fell back sluggishly against the cushions. She pressed her eyes closed and took deep breaths now, trying to fight the dizziness. But it didn't go away. "I need to lie down."

"No. We're going to the hospital. I'll get your coat. Hang on."

…..


	16. Chapter 16

**Sixteen**.

Now Ed was the one having nightmares.

It had been two weeks since he'd rushed his wife to the hospital. Since then, not a night had passed that he didn't experience some type of disrupted sleep. After keeping her overnight for observation, Olivia's doctors gave her a clean bill of health but instructed her to slow down and remember to eat several small meals per day. Low blood sugar had caused her light-headedness, and Ed was disappointed to hear Olivia admit the episode at home had not been the first.

So far, he'd awoken with a start at one a.m., three a.m., and now, at four-thirty a.m. Only this time Olivia wasn't next to him. He groggily made his way into the living room where he found his wife on the couch sipping a mug of tea.

"Hey," he came up behind her and kissed the top of her head. "Couldn't sleep?"

Olivia leaned her head back and reached for Ed's hands. "I couldn't get comfortable," she said, tugging at him, "C'mere. They're kicking."

Ed eagerly rounded the sofa and let Olivia guide his hand across her belly. Sure enough he felt the kicks, faint at first and then more distinct. "Wow," he murmured, "Hey Tucker twins. It's your Daddy! Waking Mommy up early already, huh?"

A sweet, appreciative smile crossed Olivia's face as he spoke and she ran her fingers through his hair.

"When you come outta there we're gonna let Mommy sleep and do whatever she wants, alright, kiddos?" Ed sat up, kissed her cheek, and nuzzled her neck.

"Why are _you_ up?" Olivia asked.

"You weren't there."

"That's _my_ sixth sense," she teased.

"Mine too."

"You're lying."

"Lieutenant, you're really gonna make me confess, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I'm just worried about you, Liv."

He expected her to brush off the statement. He felt her torso expand as she took a deep breath. Surely, she was about to utter her typical _I'm fine_. Ed tempered his frustrated grown in advance, tried to figure out a diplomatic way of telling her that _I'm fine_ wasn't going to cut it anymore.

"You don't have to worry, Ed."

 _Here we go_.

"Liv—"

"I'm going to start taking it easy. Stay at the desk more. It's…I feel different every day. Like, I can feel these babies growing, every morning when I wake up they feel bigger and stronger and they're moving now, so much." She shifted away from him ever so slightly so she could look him in the eyes, "I think I can do anything, _everything,_ and up until now, I have…or…at least given it a hell of a shot."

"I love that about you, Liv. I really do. And it also scares me," He forced an embarrassed laugh.

Olivia stroked his cheek. "Don't be scared. Just…remind me…to slow down."

Ed raised his eyebrows, "You sure you want me to do that?"

"Yes," she interlaced her fingers with his, "We're a team."

Ed disentangled on hand from hers and traced the outline of her jaw with his index finger, scrutinizing every mark, every freckle on her face. With his thumb, he lightly brushed her lips, staring intently at the imaginary trail, wondering if there was anything else in the world that was more perfect than Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker.

"Lookit all you've put yourself through for me," he croaked, feeling his emotions begin to tumble out.

"What are you talking about?"

Fighting back tears, Ed peered over Olivia's shoulder and into the Manhattan sky. The blackness of night was starting to give way to a gritty, foggy dawn.

"Us…it wasn't easy for you. Keeping it a secret and then the whole thing with Eugene. You're the one, Liv, who got the looks, the suspicion, lost your job."

"Not lost. And not for long."

"You know what I mean." Ed managed to meet her eyes again. "And then…giving up…a little bit of your independence, your autonomy, to let me in to your life and Noah's life, and now—"

Olivia cocked her head and put a finger to his lips. "I didn't give up anything," she whispered. "I got you, a family, I just didn't see it that way at first." Olivia was referring to a period in their relationship when she asked for a break which, at the time, Ed had assumed was a permanent split. She later admitted Ed's near-constant presence in her life started to frighten her, mostly because she was falling in love with him and didn't think she could bear the heartbreak if they didn't last. So their "break" was a preemptive move which she quickly realized was the exact opposite of what she wanted. "Letting you love me…love Noah was the best decision I've ever made, Ed."

"And now you're carrying our babies," he said remorsefully, "And you're uncomfortable and you can't do your job like you're used to, again, because of me."

"Stop." She gripped his forearms tightly. "Getting pregnant was _our_ decision. We made it together. And I'm thrilled that we made this decision." She broke into a sly grin, "Even though I'm huge and getting huger by the second."

"I love you, Liv."

"I love you."

"Want more tea?"

Olivia leaned into him and he fell back against the armrest. "No. Let's sit here for a while, okay?"

"Gladly."

Ed wrapped his arms around her and folded his hands across her midsection. They sat in sweet silence and watched the sun's brilliant beams grow brighter as it ushered in a new Manhattan day.

…..

"Livvie, you need a baby shower."

At a nail salon equidistant between the two apartments, Olivia, Sarah, and Brooke sat in plush pedicure chairs and chatted idly as the nail techs worked at their feet. Two other techs handled Sarah's and Olivia's hands; Brooke had already had her simple manicure, choosing to forego polish. Her nails took heavy damage in her classroom and it wasn't worth it, she argued. Sarah frowned at her sister's explanation but dropped the matter and focused on her stepmother.

"You think?" Olivia asked, genuinely willing to consider the suggestion. She'd shot down the idea of a wedding shower quickly, deeming it unnecessary, but a baby shower might actually be fun.

" _Yes_. You have to! I'll plan everything. You just have to show up. Just tell me who to invite."

"Can we do one with no gifts? I feel a little weird accepting gifts."

"It's not just about the gifts," Sarah replied, "It's a fun get-together."

"Okay," Olivia said slowly, "You don't think it's a little too late?"

After sizing up Olivia's protruding middle, Brooke chimed in, "How far along are you? Twenty weeks?"

"Twenty-one."

"So it kinda needs to be in the next month," Brooke reported sagely.

Sarah waved her hands in the air. "No problem." She wanted to start researching venues right away, but she didn't have the use of her hands quite yet. "How much longer?" She impatiently asked the tech who was carefully applying the top coat.

"Ten-fifteen minutes," she replied curtly.

Sarah turned back to her companions. "I'll try to reserve a place today and I'll get invites out. Livvie, who to invite?"

"Rollins, of course, your grandmother, your Dad's sister," Olivia thought about her old friends and acquaintances—Cabot, Casey Novak, Melinda Warner, maybe even Pippa. "And a few others, but I'll have to dig for their contact info."

Practically bouncing in her chair and drawing the ire of the salon clerks attending to her, Sarah beamed. "This is so, so, so, exciting. And then, well, this'll be ladies only, but then Daddy will come in at the end and he'll be so embarrassed. I love it!"

Brooke couldn't help but grin as she pictured her Dad's face. "Oh, man, that _will_ be hilarious."

With the baby shower battle easily won, Sarah set her sights on Brooke's personal life. " _Speeeeaaaking_ of showers," Sarah droned slyly, "When do we get to plan your wedding shower?"

Olivia sympathized with Brooke who was clearly uncomfortable, but she was also interested in the answer. At the precinct, family talk with Carisi was limited to confirming dinner or weekend plans; he hadn't sought out the Lieutenant for advice in a while.

Brooke played it cool. "One thing at a time."

"What's the first thing?" Olivia asked, maybe a little too quickly.

"Apartment hunting."

"Wow!" Olivia said, smiling, "That's a big deal. I'm surprised Carisi hasn't said anything."

"Well, we haven't exactly started," Brooke replied, "We've both been so busy with work. It seems like we're never home at the same time…I'm starting to think maybe it's not meant to be."

Sarah slapped Brooke's arm and then hastily inspected her fingernails to ensure she hadn't done any damage. "Will you _stop_? Livvie, tell her to stop thinking like…well…just to stop thinking. She's always _analyzing_."

"Making sure," Brooke clarified.

"No," Sarah retorted, "Talking yourself into something terrible happening."

" _Sarah_. If we buy a place together, that's going to be complicated if _we_ don't work out."

"Why are you always worst-case-scenarioing?"

"I'm realistic. You see everything with rose-colored glasses and then when it implodes you can't figure out what happened." Brooke blew upward, trying to redirect a stray strand of blonde hair from her eyes. "I prefer to not be surprised."

Disgusted with her sister's logic, Sarah groaned, "Being surprised, pleasantly that is, is the best part of life. Look at us! We got Livvie and Noey and now two more little siblings and we never in a million years expected that!" Sarah gazed at Olivia with wide, puppy-dog eyes and cooed, "I love you so much, Livvie."

"I love you, too," Olivia managed to croak.

"Tell Brooke she needs to lighten up."

Sarah so sincerely wanted Brooke to embrace her relationship with Sonny that Olivia didn't mind being put in the middle of yet another sisterly squabble. "I have advice," Olivia said softly, "And both of you can take it or leave it."

With Sarah in the middle, Brooke leaned over, listening intently.

"If someone clearly loves you. Unconditionally. Despite your flaws and whims and your… _previous damage_ …do not push them away."

Both Brooke and Sarah knew Olivia's statement was loaded with more meaning than they could ever comprehend. The older woman had a reflective, content sparkle in her brown eyes and she gently placed her hands over her belly.

"They're kicking," she whispered.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod." Sarah reached over. "Oh. My. Gawwwwwd. _Brookey_. They're, like, marching around in there!"

There was no way for Brooke to stretch over Sarah's chair, but she was clearly delighted and maybe a little jealous. "Ahhh! Keep going babies!" She coached. "Oh, um, hang on a sec," Brooke's tech had motioned for her to soak and Brooke used the break to step over, into Sarah's pool of water, and strain to add her hand to the pile.

"Brookey! You're making a freaking mess!" Sarah giggled but helped brace her sister so she wouldn't completely collapse into her lap.

" _Holy shit_ ," Brooke muttered under her breath, "They're gonna kick right out of there!"

The employees were not amused by their uncooperative and fidgety clients.

 _"Ma'am."_

 _"Ma'am?"_

 _"Um, Miss?"_

Brooke clambered back into her chair.

Olivia tried to sit up as straight as she could.

The annoyed techs pressed their lips together and continued working.

Sarah's hand remained on Olivia for the duration of the mani-pedi.

….

Frowning, Ed scanned the preschool classroom for an adult-sized table and chairs. The room was awash in primary colors, miniature furniture, and educational games made to look like the most appealing and interesting toys in the world. He checked his watch. Olivia was supposed to meet him here, but she got caught on a conference call and was running late. Ed would have to start the impromptu parent-teacher conference solo.

"Mr. Tucker?"

Ed turned with one hand on his hip, just enough to reveal his shield and weapon, causing the teacher to take a step away from him. "Oh, um," she stammered, clearly flustered, "I forgot, you and your wife are NYPD, right?"

"Yeah," Ed smiled a little and reached out to shake her hand, "Ed Tucker."

"Brynn Davidson. I'm one of Noah's teachers."

"My wife is on her way, but I don't mind getting started." As much as he didn't want to start the conference alone, he really didn't want to be there longer than necessary.

Ms. Davidson motioned to a partially cordoned-off corner of the room where, Ed discovered, there was a regular sized table and chairs.

"Well, first of all, Noah is a bright, talented young man. We love having him in class."

Ed waited patiently for her to continue. This was not news to him, and he sensed the teacher was going through a routine in which she led with a positive observation before she revealed the bad news.

"However, we had an incident this morning."

Ed raised his eyebrows. "An incident?"

"Every morning, we do our greetings, have a story, discuss our goals for the day, and then students move to their choice work."

"Choice work?"

"Yes, there are several stations, math, science…Noah usually chooses art."

"Sounds about right."

"Yes. Like I said, he's very talented. Well, um, yesterday he had some pastels, in a nice case? Actually, a very nice set."

Ed nodded. Sarah and Brooke had gifted him with the pastels last weekend.

"He was sharing, allowing another student to use his supplies, but the other student broke one of them. Noah became extremely agitated and upset. To the point he _shoved_ the other student."

Acting as if she were playing a prosecutor on _Law and Order_ , Ms. Davidson dramatically produced the pastel tin from her desk drawer and placed it in front of Ed. She opened it. Ed smiled. Ms. Davidson did not look pleased with his reaction.

The other student had broken the pink pastel.

"Did you, by any chance, see what Noah was working on?"

Obviously not used to being interrogated, Ms. Davidson's body grew defensive and rigid. "I did…I'm not really sure what it is." She walked briskly over to a shelf and returned with a large piece of construction paper.

To anyone other than Ed, Noah's half-finished drawing would have been a mystery to comprehend.

He spread his index and middle finger into a "V" shape, pointing at two rectangular shapes. "Those…those are cribs. My wife is having twins, and this is, I'm quite sure, the babies' room. And…I'm willing to bet money…Noah got upset because he thought the pink was ruined…and he was going to use it to color one of the cribs pink. For his new baby sister."

Ms. Davidson calmed down.

"But," Ed added, "That doesn't excuse him pushing another kid. My wife and I will talk to him. And he'll have a consequence at home."

"He had to stay in from morning recess today. But he's calmed down and he's in with the music teacher now."

For some reason, Ed, the tough, hardened cop saw this as overly harsh, but he nodded. "Anything else?"

"No. I appreciate your support."

Ed wasted no time leaving the classroom. Part of him wanted to spring Noah from school early, and he paused, listening for any faint sounds of a music classroom.

"Ed? Is it over?"

Olivia was ambling slowly toward him in her now-familiar gait—a shuffle sideways and then a step forward.

"It's over." Ed slid his arm around her waist, kissed her cheek, and smirked. "Hi."

"Hi." She grinned at him. Not even the chastening atmosphere of a school corridor could curtail his flirting. "So…what'd I miss?"

"Noah's bright and talented and gets upset when other kids break his stuff."

Olivia scrunched up her face at the succinct recap. Ed shrugged and led her toward the exit.

"C'mon. Let's get lunch. I'll tell ya all about it."

…..

Ed typically began their family dinners together with a toast and this night was no different. Even when their dinner consisted of pizza and soda, he made sure to raise his glass and offer something sweet to say about the day or their lives together.

"To Noah! Bud, you are so good at drawing. I'm so proud of you."

Noah beamed and reached to touch his plastic cup to his parents' glasses. "Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

They dug into their pizza and hungrily chewed in silence for a few minutes. Realizing they forgot the salad, Ed fetched the plastic container from the kitchen and dropped two dressing choices, Ranch and Italian, in the middle of the table. After they served themselves salad, Ed and Olivia shared a glance, silently agreeing to begin.

"Sweet Noah, Daddy talked with Ms. Davidson today."

"Ms. D nice," Noah reported matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Olivia continued in her softest, most compassionate voice, "She told us you got angry today."

Noah's face fell as he remembered the incident. He stopped chewing and stared into his lap.

Olivia brushed his hair back, lifting his face in the process. "It's okay, sweetie. Look at me and Daddy."

Tears welled in Noah's eyes. Meeting his parents' gaze seemed excruciating for him.

"Michael breaked da pink," Noah sniffled.

"I know," Olivia replied, "And those were your special pastels from the sisters, weren't they?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, Ms. Davidson gave them back to Daddy. We have them."

Noah's eyes brightened.

"But there's something else, sweet Noah. When Michael broke the pink, what happened after that?"

Across the table, Ed tried to remember how he handled things like this when the girls were Noah's age, but he couldn't pinpoint any distinct memories. When he told Olivia the longer version of the story over lunch, she was way more concerned than Ed had been. First, she faulted herself for not showing up on time—she wanted more information about Noah's outburst, especially since it seemed over something so trivial. Ed's rebuttal was that a broken pink pastel, was anything but trivial since the boy had come to identify the color with his baby sister.

"I cry."

"And?"

Noah's eyes fell to the floor again. "I push Michael," he mumbled.

"Hey, bud," Ed decided it was his turn to step in, "You were really mad, weren't ya?"

Noah clenched his jaw. "Uh-huh."

"What part about what happened made you mad?"

Olivia wasn't sure Noah would comprehend the question, and he remained silent.

"I saw the picture you were workin' on," Ed prompted. "Looked like the babies' room."

"Uh-huh," Noah mumbled. "It choice work and I drawed da beds and da tools."

"It looked like it was gonna be really good."

"I help wiff da beds. I help _you_ ," Noah looked at Ed pleadingly.

"You're a great helper, bud. You used the white pastel for the walls, and the black for the tool box. I could see you drew the cribs, too."

"Uh-huh."

"What color were ya gonna draw them?"

Noah paused, perhaps not sure to see his Daddy as an ally or an enemy. "A pink one for small sister." Merely saying "pink" caused Noah to choke up again.

"But after the pink broke, you didn't wanna use it anymore?"

"Uh-uh. Da ovver ones nice. Not da pink. It breaked. Sare bear say we haveta keep dem NICE!"

"Sarah will understand, pal. She's not gonna be mad at you. She's gonna be happy that you shared. Mommy and I are happy you shared. Just, sometimes, accidents happen. We can get ya a new pink."

"Kay."

"But we don't push people. We don't hit. If you get mad at school again, tell the teacher and she'll help you."

"And if you get mad here, tell us. Or tell Brookey or Sarah, and we'll help. Okay, sweet Noah?"

"Kay."

"So," Ed said with finality, wanting to be done with this conversation, "Tomorrow you tell Michael you're sorry for pushing him.

"Sorry Michael," Noah murmured, already practicing.

Ed and Olivia locked eyes again. They'd discussed possible consequences, but they seemed to silently agree the matter could sufficiently be closed. Simultaneously, they kissed him on the cheeks and felt a mutual sense of relief when they heard him break into his familiar giggles.

"Love you bud."

"Love you sweet boy."

"Luvvvyou Mommy. Luvvvyou Daddy.

They resumed eating and Ed told Olivia about CIU's most recent investigation. She listened carefully and offered her opinion—it was the easy conversation of two experienced and well-intentioned police officers. Most couples would take for granted the mundane "how was your day" exchange, but not the Tuckers. Ed loved hearing Olivia roll her keen intellect, compassion, and experience into plausible predictions or potential solutions. At times Olivia questioned whether or not Ed's job satisfied him, but when he stumbled upon a case he truly believed in, his passion and dedication to achieving justice was mesmerizing.

"Mommy?" Noah interrupted, chewing on his crust.

"Yes, sweet boy?"

"What we call small sister when she come out?"

"You mean her name?"

"Uh-huh. And da ovver baby. What we call him?"

Olivia smiled, somewhat sheepishly, at Ed who had continually drifted over to the side of wanting to know the sexes. Sarah was with him. After their mani-pedis, she practically begged Olivia to find out. Brooke wanted to be surprised.

"Well, we have to see the doctor next week. And he'll tell us if we're getting small sisters or baby brothers."

Elated, Ed grinned and reached for his wife's hand.

"Then we'll start thinking of names, okay?"

"Kay!"

…..

Later that night, long after Noah had gone to bed, Ed helped Olivia into the bubble bath he'd prepared for her. He held her arms and watched as her legs seductively disappeared into the sudsy water. As she leaned against rolled towels and got comfortable, Ed plucked one of her hair clips from the bathroom counter and did his best to twist her hair into a messy pile on top of her head.

"Are you coming in?" Olivia asked.

"Nah," Ed answered, squirting some massage oil into his palms, "I'm just gonna sit here and pamper you." He lifted her left arm and started rubbing at her shoulder, trailing a slow, deliberate path down to her wrists, then her hands, and, finally her fingertips before repeating the same movements with the other arm. He leered at her breasts, the curves just barely broke the water's surface, and even though he wasn't in the best position, he couldn't help himself. He grasped them both, fondling them lightly. In response, Olivia leaned back and sunk even deeper into the tub. She moaned a little and Ed felt himself start to get hard.

Refocusing, he resumed the full-body rub down and moved to her thighs, letting his fingers drift dangerously close to her center and he smirked when she bucked her hips, trying to nudge his fingers between her legs.

It didn't work. For the time being, Ed Tucker was on a mission. When he finished with each leg, he individually kissed each toe. It was not something he did often and it seemed to provoke a unique type of arousal in Olivia. She gasped, yelped, and her lips formed an "O" shape as she breathed in and out. When she opened her eyes, she saw his erection fighting against his gray sweatpants.

" _Ed_."

With his mouth still on the top of her foot he looked at her. "Yes?"

"Get me outta here."

He smirked and raised his eyebrows.

"Water gettin' cold?" He reached for the faucet knobs, "I can add some—"

" _Ed_!" Olivia was squeezing her own breasts now and her eyes, which had been squeezed shut, were now wide with desperation.

Laughing lecherously, he stood up. "Okay, okay. C'mon, let's get ya in bed. Unless…where ya want it, Liv?"

How he managed to sound so even-toned was beyond Olivia, but it turned her on even more.

"Bed's probably the safest," she muttered as Ed lifted her from the tub. He wrapped a towel around her and held her close for a second, long enough for Olivia to nibble at his earlobe and whisper in her deepest, sexiest voice, "Because I want you to _fuck me_ , Captain.

Ed lost his composure. He flung the towel away and held her face in his hands as he ravaged her mouth with his. "Want me to fuck you, huh?" He rasped.

The vibrations he sent into her ear canal caused her to shiver.

" _Yes_."

"Then what?" He challenged.

"Then I want to feel your arms around me all night."

Ed began slowly walking them from the bathroom, peppering her neck and face with kisses along the way. "My pleasure, baby. My fucking pleasure."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	17. Chapter 17

**Seventeen.**

Noah stood on his tiptoes and gripped the freezer case where the domed glass met the chilly sheet metal casing. Olivia recoiled and resisted the urge to drag him away when she saw his lips lightly graze the glass. Almost four full years into being a mother, and she still felt herself impulsively switch gears into overprotective mode every once in a while. Out of the corner of his eye, Ed watched her reaction, accurately predicting a wince. Without looking, Olivia knew he was chuckling inside, and she gently elbowed him.

Earlier that day after the adults already had their ice cream. Noah agonized over his choice, and Ed wondered to himself if he and Olivia would be as patient when there were three kids to satisfy. Luckily, they were the only customers in the shop and the young lady behind the counter sweetly narrated the flavors to her young customer.

After the checkup, Ed and Olivia decided to check Noah out of school early and take him to lunch. After their sandwiches, they took Noah for dessert, still searching for the right moment to reveal the news about his siblings. The crowded sandwich shop didn't feel right. When Noah finally decided on mint chocolate chip and they sat down to finish their sweet treats, the shop seemed _too_ empty. Finally, Ed suggested they just go home and Olivia agreed, laughing at how they thought so hard about where and how to tell Noah and never once considered where they were all most comfortable—their home.

Noah kicked off his shoes and skipped down the foyer into the living room where he belly-flopped on the couch.

"Wanna watch a movie," he mumbled.

Ed took Olivia's coat and she went to snuggle up beside Noah. "How 'bout we talk a little first, sweetie?"

Noah shrugged. "Kay."

Joining them, Ed handed Olivia the latest sonogram photograph and sat on the opposite side of Noah.

"See the babies?" Olivia asked.

By now, Noah was an old pro at spotting the fetuses. "Yep! Dere A and B!"

"Very good!"

"And guess what, bud?" The excitement in Ed's voice was palpable. Olivia could actually feel him fidgeting with anticipation.

"What?"

Olivia nodded to Ed, giving him the go-ahead.

"One of 'em's a small sister! That one, Baby A. That's her."

Noah had, of course, assumed he was getting a small sister all along, but the grin on both his parents' faces signaled to him that this news was something a little different and more serious. He opened his eyes wise, broke into a huge smile, clapped his hands, and exclaimed, "Yay! She play wiff the PINK TRAIN! I go get it!" Noah scampered off and quickly returned with his hand-painted pink train which he rolled gently over Olivia's belly. "You see dis, small sister? Dis your train! Your PINK TRAIN! My trains blue, yellow, red, green. You da only pink one!"

It wasn't long before Noah noticed he was still holding the photograph. He studied it carefully. "Dis small sister," he said slowly, raising his eyebrows, "And Dis, da B, dis small sister, too?"

"Know what, sweet Noah? They couldn't tell us! The baby was all scrunched up and the doctor couldn't tell for sure!"

Noah giggled. "Dat baby SILLY! It hiding! Like I hide when we play hide and seek!"

"We'll prolly find out next time, pal," Ed said assuredly, "So ya might haveta paint another pink train. Or maybe a blue one if it's a brother."

Noah shrugged. "I give bruvver my red train," he said matter-of-factly. Once again, Noah trotted to his bedroom, this time he emerged with his red locomotive, a little dinged up from previous play. He took that and the pink one and carried them to the nursery.

"Where ya goin' No?"

"I put da trains in da baby beds. So when they come home, dey can start playin!"

They heard the clattering of Noah wedging the toys through the crib slats. Ed slid closer to Olivia so he could sling his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Uh, so, Noah already gets the concept of hand-me-downs," Ed joked.

"He sure does."

"Gut feeling. Whaddya think? Two more sisters?"

"That would seem appropriate…you and Noah forever smothered with girls."

Ed chuckled, "I'd like that a lot."

Olivia tilted her head back and kissed the bottom of his chin. "You'll definitely need a man cave."

"Maybe in a few years," Ed replied, "I don't wanna miss anything."

…..

From her seat at the head table, Olivia observed the pile of baby gifts grow as guests arrived. The only point of baby shower dissention was that Olivia didn't want to register for gifts. Sarah argued that it was tradition and people expected it, so, in the end, they compromised and Olivia allowed Sarah to drag her to a few specialty shops to curate a list for the invitees.

"They'll _expect_ it Livvie," she said, "People want _guidance_ with things like this."

Sarah and Brooke reserved a back room at a local bistro, and they woke up early to prep the space for the early afternoon fete. The décor oozed with Sarah's signature design—timeless and classy yet with a few prominent, maybe even garish accents. They chose lily-centered floral arrangements and crisp ivory tablecloths, but Sarah insisted on using oversized baby bottles and blue-and-pink crepe paper bouquets as table runners.

Brooke snickered, "You spend over a hundred bucks on flowers and then you toss this crap along with it?"

Sarah took the criticism in stride. After all, it was nothing new. She simply sipped on her wine spritzer and flounced about the room, making sure everything was in perfect order. "Oh, Brookey," she said breezily, "Someday you will understand…"

"Understand what?"

"Oh…everything."

Sarah made sure to make only enough room at Olivia's table for the guest of honor and her two stepdaughters. Everyone else had place cards at round tables set for six. In all, they were expecting only a handful of guests which was fine with Olivia and the hostesses.

Caroline arrived with a flourish, dragging Ed's sister with her, almost as an afterthought. She immediately darted to Olivia, told her not to stand up, and rubbed her shoulders. "How are you, sweetie?" She asked, her smoker's voice thick and a slightly more feminine version of Ed's.

"I'm good. A little tired at the end of the day, but that's to be expected."

"I've been texting Eddie, telling him to make sure to rub your feet and make dinner and all that jazz. Are you still working? You look like you're ready to pop!"

" _Grandma_!" Family gatherings always included at least one instance of Brooke admonishing her grandmother.

"Not quite ready," Olivia said, "But I am definitely anxious to meet them."

Sarah was digging through Caroline's purse.

"Sare bear, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm getting your phone."

"Why?"

"You said you texted Daddy."

"I did."

"Does he ever respond?"

"No, but he's busy."

Sarah flipped through the phone she'd purchased for Caroline last year. "You have never sent a text," she reported.

"Yes I have. Hey, Brookey, go get me a drink sweetie."

Brooke nodded dutifully.

"No, Grandma, you haven't."

"Yes. I hit that little envelope and type in Eddie."

"Gram, that's email. And you get an error message when you try to send it to Eddie."

"I just hit send anyway."

Sarah was cracking up, "Omigod, omigod, omigod, we need to sit down and have a tutorial."

Brooke delivered the gin-and-tonic and Caroline took Sarah's seat. "Dearie, don't be shy about asking me to help out when these little ones come along. Eddie acts like I live at the North Pole or something. I can come down whenever you need."

"Thank you, Caroline. I'm sure we'll need all the hands we can get at first."

"Well, I had three babies at once."

Brooke raised her eyebrows. "Gram, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Goddam, Brookey, you take everything so literally," Caroline ran her fingers through her silver pixie cut. "I meant, I had three grandbabies all around the same age when you, Jack, and Kelly were all little. I took care of you all the time."

"You were younger," Brooke teased.

Caroline swilled her cocktail and regarded Brooke smugly, "You wish you'll be as spry as I am when you're seventy."

"Add about ten years."

At that, the Tucker women all cracked up.

Olivia tried to push herself away from the table. "I need to move," she said.

"Are you okay, Livvie?"

"Yes, I just can't sit in one spot for too long. I also can't walk around for too long," she said, laughing derisively. "And, oh! Wow! Alex!"

Alex Cabot entered the room smartly dressed in tight black pants and a flowy, oversized gray blouse. Other than her casual attire, she didn't look any different from the last time Olivia had seen her. The old allies struggled with a hug, navigating the large belly, and Alex eventually held Olivia at arm's length. "You look absolutely gorgeous."

"You're lying, but thanks," Olivia replied.

"Seriously, Liv. You're glowing."

" _Alex_."

"Okay," she relented, "Introduce me to your family."

"Gladly."

Olivia led Alex over to where the girls and her mother-in-law were standing. Olivia went through the introductions and Brooke and Caroline politely smiled and shook Alex's hand. Sarah, on the other hand, practically smothered Cabot with one of her quick, almost frantic hugs.

" _Omigod_ , it's _so_ nice to meet you," Sarah gushed, "I love meeting people who've known Livvie forever and ever. So you must be super out of your mind that my Dad knocked her up."

" _Sarah_!" Brooke shot Olivia a helpless, pleading look as if she felt like she were the only adult in the room.

Alex took Sarah's cheekiness in stride, "I was a bit surprised to see his name on the wedding invitation."

"So was everybody," Sarah said matter-of-factly. "Even us. Anyway, you weren't at the wedding."

"I work in international law now," Alex explained, "I was out of the country."

"That sounds exciting. I work with a few Central and South American firms. I have not, though, been sent _to them_ quite yet which is a source of constant frustration."

"That big fat paycheck isn't enough to satisfy you?" Brooke asked, only partially joking.

"No." Sarah bopped Brooke's nose with her index finger. "Never be satisfied, Brookey. Okay, I'm going to get this party started. Seats, everyone!"

While Sarah got the guests seated and mimosas served, Alex and Olivia had a little time to themselves.

"Is Tucker showing up later?"

"He is. With Noah."

"Oh, good. I was hoping to meet him." Alex hesitated, figuring Olivia had already answered her next question many times. "So, how did, uh, how did your squad and everybody else react to you and Tucker?"

"About how you'd expect," Olivia answered patiently and with a smile, happy to help her catch up, "Surprised, but, ah, the way it came out wasn't exactly ideal."

"Mmmmhmm." Even though she had been thousands of miles away, the church scandal hadn't eluded Alex. "That sounded like an absolute mess."

"It was."

"Well, let's not rehash it."

"Right. Let's not. That's one thing I've been able to do…since Ed…let the past stay in the past."

Alex put a reassuring hand on Olivia's shoulder, "That's good to hear, Liv. And I've sure you've heard this thousands of times, but I'm happy for you."

"I never get tired of hearing it. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Alex took in the scene—Sarah frantically running back and forth, directing the servers to serve and the guests to sit. "That one seems like a bit of a handful."

"She can be," Olivia remarked through a chuckle, "But she and Brooke…they're so great…wonderful young women and they're always helping with Noah. Brooke, ah, she's actually dating one of my detectives."

Hearing this, Alex broke into a wide grin, one Olivia had rarely seen her use, "Well, look at you…mixing work and pleasure. Doubly."

"OH-KAY!" Sarah stood on a chair and clapped her hands. "Brookey, Brookey, bring me the tape."

"I better get to my seat," Alex said under her breath.

"Yeah," Olivia squeezed her hand, "Let's talk later."

Sarah saw Olivia returning to her place at the table. "No, no, Livvie, you come here." Sarah waved an arm in a circular motion and waved a bright yellow roll in the air with the other. "Our first game, with a prize of…Brookey…what is it, oh, a gift pack from Kiehl's! Our first game is….each of you will cut a piece of this police tape. The person who cuts it closest to the circumference of Lvvie's belly wins!"

"Nice touch with the police tape," Olivia whispered to Sarah.

"Daddy got it for me." At that instance, she looked almost exactly like Ed—smirk and all. Olivia leaned into her for a little hug. No one had given Ed more headaches and induced more annoyed grumbles than Sarah Tucker, but in the past several months she'd turned a corner in her life and transformed into a confident, strong, self-assured young woman. Olivia was proud of her.

"Pass out the scissors, Brookey!" Sarah instructed. "Ok, Ladies! How big is that belly?"

….

Meanwhile, at the park, Ed and Noah took advantage of the mild-ish spring day and spent the morning practicing tight spirals. Afterwards, they got cleaned up and went out to look for a gift to give Olivia after the babies were born. Ed thought a ring or necklace with all their birthstones was tacky, so he spoke with a jeweler about designing a bracelet with all their first initials intertwined. The young woman played around with designs on her computer, and both Noah and Ed liked what she came up with.

Now they were at the pub, sharing an order of cheesy tater tots—Noah's new obsession. Ed sipped a beer and Noah had his customary, though no longer secret, ginger ale. Josh, their regular server, brought a few extra blank placemats for Noah, and the little boy sketched as they munched and chatted.

Ed tried to think of words to describe how he was feeling as he closely observed his adorable son who was dressed in a navy polo and jeans, identical to what Ed was wearing. When he and Olivia first got together, it hadn't taken long for the little boy to warm up to him. It was almost as if Noah had been waiting, craving a male presence in his life, and once Ed finally convinced Olivia he fully intended to live the label of "father," his bond with Noah became iron clad.

Weightless.

That was it.

Ed floated through his days, even the hard ones, even when Olivia wasn't feeling great and she was tired and cranky. Even when Noah threw a rare tantrum or was sick or refused to go to bed. For so many years he isolated himself, thinking his failed marriage and peripheral relationship with his daughters summed up his life. He would die a bachelor in his Hell's Kitchen apartment.

But no.

Olivia and Noah injected into him a new, age-defying energy that comes with an unforeseen second chance. Now he spent weekends throwing a football or kicking a soccer ball with his son. He had a wife to hold every night and kiss awake every morning. He discovered how to be a family man, he found his balance, and he embraced it all.

Ed Tucker reinvented himself.

He thought about last month's hearing, when he sat next to Olivia, holding her hand, as Trevor Langan argued against granting visitation to Johnny Drake's half-sister. Olivia wouldn't look at the woman, but Ed glared at her almost the entire time. She was mousy, hunched over, dressed in loose, drab clothing. She did not look like someone who scoured internet sites to find blood relatives. He wanted to lash out and snarl and sneer and determine why exactly she thought she had any right to insert herself into their lives.

After mere minutes, Judge Linden determined she had no such right. They thanked Langan and returned to their bliss.

" _Daddy_."

The urgency in Noah's voice suggested this wasn't the first time he tried to get Ed's attention.

"Oh, sorry, No. What's up, bud?"

"Da phone."

Sarah had summoned the boys.

Ed called for the check and gave Josh his credit card. He returned promptly with the receipts.

Noah looked on with interest. "Whatcha doin?"

"Giving Josh his tip and signing."

"I sign?"

Ed smiled. "Sure pal. Here, hold the pen like this. Sign under my name."

Very deliberately, Noah wrote his letters, leaving a wobbly N-O-A-H at the bottom of the receipt.

"Good job, pal! Now Josh can get his money!"

"Josh!" Noah held up the paper, "We sign! You get da money now!"

Josh looked up from the table he was busing, grinned, and thanked the Tuckers.

"C'mon, bud. We gotta go see the girls."

"We goin' to the girl party?"

"Yup. Remember? They're havin' the girl party and we come at the end to say hello and take Mommy home."

"And da presents!"

"Yep. We'll take the presents home, too!"

"Den we take dose babies home from da doctor!"

"Still a little while for that," Ed replied, laughing, "But, yep, we'll take small sister and baby brother home from the doctor."

"And put 'em in da beds we builded!"

"Sure will."

"Cause da babies sleep a lot."

"Yep." Ed enjoyed hearing Noah parrot the baby information he and Olivia had been feeding him for a while.

"And they don't walk."

"Nope. We gotta teach 'em all that stuff."

" _I_ teach 'em!"

"You got it."

"But _you_ gotta teach da tighspiral. You frow da ball good, Daddy."

"You will, too, bud. Just gotta keep practicing."

Noah squeezed Ed's hand and used the leverage to skip, taking huge jump-steps. "Yep! Pactis wiff Daddy!"

…

Nobody who knew Melinda Warner's profession was surprised when the doctor won the baby belly challenge. Caroline, perhaps unfairly, came away with first place in "Baby Daddy Trivia." Caroline also won "Baby Items In The Bag."

After the three games, lunch was served. Guests chose from different types of pasta and mini-panini sandwiches. Desserts came next, followed by present opening. The whole thing reminded Olivia of Sarah's wedding shower, only this time, all eyes were on the Lieutenant as she daintily removed the ornate wrapping paper from each gift. She was beginning her thank-you speech when everyone's eyes diverted to the opposite side of the room. The sudden silence amplified Noah's little boy voice.

 _"Dis da girl party, Daddy?"_

"Ladies!" Sarah announced, "Let's give it up for the Tucker men!"

Noah and Ed entered to a round of applause.

Sarah ran over to them and hoisted Noah in the air. "This is my brother! Say hi to everyone, Noey Boey!"

Noah offered a shy wave and tucked his head under Sarah's chin. She kissed his head and put him down. She mussed her Dad's hair.

"And THIS is the guy partially responsible for those two buns in the oven!"

The women broke into gentle laughter. Olivia came over to Ed's side and startled him a bit with a smooch that bordered on being something they usually did in private.

"Ooooo," Sarah cooed, "Pregnancy hormones kicking, in, huh?"

Ed kept Olivia close. "Mmmm. I _like_ those pregnancy hormones," he whispered.

"Okay, you two, pay attention. Over here."

Brooke pulled one final present out from under the table and handed it to Noah.

"This is for you, buddy."

Thrilled at the surprise, Noah ripped the paper off and opened the box. He held up the contents—a blue t-shirt.

"What it say?"

"It says, _I'm the big brother_." Brooke answered, pointing at each word as she read. "It's for you to wear when you bring the babies home."

"I wear it _now_." Noah temporarily buried himself in the cotton before Sarah helped him get his head and arms through the holes. Noah stood proudly at his parents' side, looking down at his shirt.

Ed eyed the unwrapped gifts and continued Olivia's thank-you speech as if he had heard the beginning.

"Wow, uh, thank you all so much for your generosity and being here to celebrate our twins and support my wife. One thing I've learned, thanks to you," he briefly looked Olivia in the eye, "is that our happiness is derived from the people we love. And we've never been happier, and you all are part of that."

Olivia met Alex's gaze just then and saw the tough-as-nails former ADA dab at a tear that had escaped from her eye. She nodded her understanding. She got it. Tucker had redeemed himself to yet another person and proven himself worthy of Olivia's love.

"And also," Olivia chimed in, "Sarah and Brooke, we can't thank you enough for planning this whole thing and also, in general, for being so reliable and present for us and for Noah. We love you so much."

Brooke hugged Noah, Ed, and Olivia. One at a time. Normally.

Sarah followed, bear-hugging all four of them, well, all six of them, including the babies.

"Sare bear, you squishin' me!" Noah exclaimed through giggles.

"And I can't wait to squish the new babies when they come!" Sarah released the group and tickled Noah. "I'm gonna be squishing you forever!"

….


	18. Chapter 18

**Eighteen** —Chapter begins in late April, 2018 (about 28 weeks)

"I'm confident," said the sonographer, "A male and a female. You can start thinking about names if you haven't already," she said with a wink.

Sarah, who finally got her chance to tag along on a doctor's appointment, gaped at the screen, mesmerized. "Omigod. Omigod. _Omigawwwd_. Hi babies! Livvie, what are we naming them?"

The sonographer flipped off the machine and Sarah helped Olivia sit up. The doctor had already examined her and saw no reason to deviate from the previous marching orders—desk duty and no strenuous physical activity.

"We have a couple of small sister possibilities. I think we'll let Noah make the final call. A boy? I don't know. The funny thing is, I've encountered so many awful men and so has your Dad…we've had to eliminate so many names because of our jobs."

Sarah giggled, "Well, you have a few weeks. Hopefully he doesn't have to be Baby Boy Tucker for long. Actually, I like the name Tucker. Tucker Tucker."

"I'll propose that to your Dad tonight," Olivia replied through a laugh.

"When's he supposed to be back?"

"He said late. I told him to stay there overnight and drive back in the morning, but, you know him."

Sarah hugged Olivia's arm and finished the thought, "He can't be away from his Livvie!"

Ed and his team left early for Philadelphia. They were tracking down a former confidential informant tied to one of their recent cases, and he was extremely annoyed about missing the appointment. It ruined his consecutive streak of being by his wife's side. Sarah, on the other hand, was elated and promised to take care of Olivia and Noah. She worked a few hours in the morning and took the rest of the day off.

"You know what would be absolutely wacky?" Sarah asked as they left the office and moved slowly down the street. "If the informant Dad had to see was Jeff!"

Olivia smiled. She wondered when Sarah would mention her ex-husband. "That would be surprising. But Jeff doesn't seem like CI material."

"What _is_ CI material?"

"Most of them are rough characters, trying to get some favors, they're desperate, or cunning, or both. Some you can trust some you can't. I don't like working with them to be honest."

"Livvie, I don't know how you do it."

"My job?"

"Well, your job, yeah. But, you're so…you're such a loving mom and wife. I don't know how you block all that horrible stuff."

They turned a corner and stepped into the previously-agreed upon lunch spot. "The trick is…I don't block it. I process it, I have to, and I believe in what I do, that there's a purpose in it, even when the case doesn't turn out how we'd like. And," Olivia squeezed herself into her chair, "I have my family."

Sarah held Olivia's hands. "Yes you do."

"Thank you for coming with me today. I…I didn't want to go alone. Even though they're so routine by now, it's nice to have someone there."

"Livvie," Sarah grinned, "You know I would go _every_ time."

"I know."

The server came over and they ordered drinks. Decaf tea for Olivia and a sugary coffee concoction for Sarah.

"I do want to tell you, though, and I'll tell Brooke, too. I, well, _we_ , don't want you to feel obligated to, this sounds bad, always help with the twins. And Noah. We'll hire a new nanny eventually, well, we might."

"Livvie, we _want_ to help. You always talk about how lucky you are to have this family. Well, this family is just about all I have right now. My job. It's awesome. I'm loving it. But, you know I hated being married. I don't know that I'll get married again. Or, maybe it'll be when I'm older. Noey and these two coming along…they may be the only kids I get to help raise. Well, and Brooke's." Sarah shook her head and smiled, "If she ever gets it through her head that Sonny is _the one_."

"I'm glad you…you're comfortable now," Olivia said, "I was worried about you for a while."

"I was worried about _me_. But…therapy works. And so does realizing you don't have to adhere to a particular set of expectations. I was always putting on a show. No more."

"That makes me so happy."

"So now that leaves us with Brookey."

Olivia squeezed lemon into her tea. "I'm not sure what's holding her back. And Carisi doesn't say much."

Sarah twirled the ends of her hair. "I don't know either. This is really her first real relationship. I think she thinks it's weird. Or maybe that she's not good enough. Or, well, I know this, she's surprised Sonny is so devoted to her."

"Sounds familiar."

"You were surprised Dad was so devoted to you?" Sarah asked with wide eyes.

Olivia bit her lip and her face filled with a type of deep introspection Sarah hadn't seen on her before.

"Sare, when your Dad and I…when we started seeing each other, not dating yet, but just meeting for drinks and really getting to know each other…I remember thinking _wow_ , this guy, this man who I'd previously thought was absolutely awful, he's so great and, a _man_ , you know? I never thought I needed that—he was so strong and protective from the very beginning. And then…after the hostage thing, you know about that, right?"

"I do." That day's events had been all over the local news and it also came up on one of the girls' dives into Olivia-related research.

"Well, after that, I wasn't in a good place, but I was pretending to be. And he sort of saw through that façade, he wouldn't let me be this strong, resilient person I was trying to show the outside world. I could be _myself_ with him, my whole self, and he didn't judge me, he didn't run away, I tried to push him away, but he never gave up on us. And I expected him to. And when he didn't, well, that was a new reality—and even now, I still have to remind myself from time to time that I deserve him…that I deserve this."

Sarah choked back tears, "Daddy loves you so much. But you changed him, too, ya know."

"I know. Well, I don't know if it's change as much as it was uncovering that great man beneath all the…"

"Pessimism? Crankiness?"

Olivia chuckled and pressed the home button on her phone so she could get a glimpse at her lock-screen photo. "Yeah," she murmured, "He had some damage, too."

Having had enough of the serious conversation, Sarah slapped the table lightly and changed the subject. "Livvie, I can't wait to see those babies. They're gonna be so gorgeous."

"You think?"

" _Livvie_ ," Sarah said, almost scolding her, "You know they're gonna be perfect."

"I want them to be healthy."

"They will be," Sarah said confidently, "Healthy and fucking beautiful."

…..

Olivia read Noah his stories on the couch and let him drift off to sleep snuggled against her even though she knew she couldn't carry him to bed. She enjoyed the feeling of his little body draped against hers and gradually become heavier as he fell more and more deeply into his slumber. They had a relaxing afternoon and evening together. After school they went for a walk and bought ingredients for dinner. They cooked, ate, cleaned up, and spent the rest of the night lounging around. Noah busied himself with his artwork and a few games. Olivia was content to watch him play. Ed checked in periodically and by the time Noah was in his pajamas, he was on the road heading home.

Olivia was close to dozing off when the babies began moving around. Rubbing her belly, she whispered to them. "Hey sweet twins. You're busy tonight, huh? Your Daddy and your brother and I love you so much. Just stay in there and keep growing and getting strong." After a while, the kicks actually lulled her to sleep, and she didn't wake up until the combination of Ed's voice and the cool void where Noah once was roused her.

"To bed ya go, bud," He whispered, lifting Noah into his arms. Before leaving her side, he leaned down to brush Olivia's cheek, "I'll be back for you, baby."

Olivia's eyes were fluttering open when Ed returned. He held both her hands and gently pulled her into a sitting position. "C'mon, Liv. Let's go to bed."

"How'd it go?" Olivia mumbled sleepily and allowed Ed to lead her to the bedroom.

"Good. Useful. I think this will end up in a retrial at least."

"Good."

"You gonna sleep in this?"

Olivia was wearing pajama pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. "I'm a little warm."

Ed removed the pants and the t-shirt and traded them for shorts and a tank top. He took his place next to Olivia and held her close, kissing the back of her neck and her shoulders.

"Mmmmm."

"I love you, Liv. I missed you today. How'd the appointment go?"

"Routine. Sarah was entertaining."

"I bet. You go in to work at all?"

"No. Slow day."

"Good. Been hard? Not going full bore?"

"A little, but I don't mind.

"Talked to the DA today, about the semi-retirement thing. He's on board with it. Actually, I'd retire then they'd hire me as a part-time consultant." Considering Olivia was half-asleep, this probably wasn't the most opportune time to bring up the topic, but Ed thought about that too late. "But not 'til after they're born and I take the family leave."

"Mmmkay."

"They're kicking."

"They're up at night." Olivia grabbed for his hand. "Get ready."

"I can't wait."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Ed propped himself on an elbow so he could kiss her lips, "I'll let ya sleep now. I'll stop talking."

"I like hearing you talk."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to keep talking?"

"Yeah."

"About what?"

"I dunno…just…be you." Ed rambled on about the twins, Noah, spring, vacations at the beach, making breakfast in the morning, making love in the morning…it didn't take long for Olivia's responses to taper off. Her breathing was heavy, nasally, and Ed uttered one final thought before closing his eyes.

"You and our kids are going to be the happiest people on the planet, Liv. I promise. I love you so much."

…..

Brooke and Sonny sat in a tiny, trendy juice bar sipping smoothies and staring out at the bustling Broadway sidewalk. A few real estate brochures were scattered in front of them.

"That place," Brooke said, "I really, really loved that place."

"I know." Sonny scratched at his head, trying to get at the itchy spot through the layers of product.

They spent the morning with their realtor who showed them everything from Upper West Side brownstone apartments to newer construction in the Financial District. Neither Brooke nor Sonny was partial to a particular Manhattan neighborhood as long as it was close to the subway, so the realtor took advantage of their carte blanche attitude and had them visit a veritable cross-section of the borough. After their final stop—a Tribeca loft—they were sold. Now, it was a matter of price.

"Two bedrooms, two levels, all those windows," Sonny flipped through the papers and then pulled up comparable property descriptions on his phone, "I don't think they'll go much lower on the number."

"Okay. Honestly. Can we afford this? Is this even smart?"

"Probably not."

"But it's such a cool place."

"I know."

The loft was modern, featured exposed brick walls, and had two bedrooms in addition to a loft space which they could use as an office. The kitchen and bathrooms needed a bit of updating, but the necessary work didn't justify a huge price reduction.

"We could probably find a similar place in Brooklyn. Or even now, in Astoria or Long Island City," Sonny suggested.

"But I really want that one."

"Me too."

Sonny checked his phone. "Hey, I gotta go. Listen. I'll be home early. Let's…let's have dinner together somewhere. Just us. Okay? We'll talk more."

"Okay."

Sonny kissed Brooke and left her to finish her drink alone. She paged one more time through the listings in front of her but ended up tossing them in the trash along with their cups. What started out as an exciting house hunting adventure now had turned into a depressing reality check.

…..

Brooke wandered in and out of the Tribeca stores for a little while and, after passing a toy shop, found herself missing Noah. She texted both Olivia and Ed and was surprised that they were all at home. She assumed Sonny's call was a call to go to work, and even though Olivia was on desk duty, major cases usually summoned her to the precinct, even on weekends. She showed up at the apartment with deli sandwiches and potato chips. They cut the sandwiches into smaller pieces and shared them at the island.

"So, disappointing day?" Olivia asked, concerned.

"Very. I think we're gonna have to look outside of Manhattan."  
"You know you can stay at the apartment as long as you want," Ed offered.

"I know," Brooke replied, "I'm sure Sarah will stay there a little while longer. It's just…this is so important to Sonny. And to me. He is really intent on getting, _buying_ , a place together."

"Kinda a buyer's market right now," Ed said, "No wiggle room?"

"Not on this place. I don't think so. Not that much. It's priced right under a million. No way we could afford it. Now that I think about it, it was mean for her to even show it to us!"

Ed wished he could write her a check right there and eliminate all her worries. "Just stay at my place, Brooke. Want me to kick Sarah out?"

"Of course not," Brooke said with a grin, "But she's not all freaked out about living alone anymore."

"Brookey, you live wiff us," Noah chimed in, "You, Sonny, Sare bear, you live wiff us and da babies!"

"Where will we sleep, No?"

Noah thought. "You sleep on da big chair in Mommy's room, Sonny sleep wiff me, Sare bear sleep wiff da babies."

"Sounds like a crowded house."

Olivia kissed the top of Noah's head and murmured, "Sweet boy."

"But, anyway, enough of my issues," Brooke said, "Liv, how are you?"

"Large."

"But…"

"But very good. They're moving around a lot, the doctor is pleased, I'm being good and not running around at work. Kind of just a waiting game now."

"Have you picked out names?"

Ed smiled at Olivia and then glanced down at Noah. The three of them had discussed names over breakfast, and small sister officially had a moniker. "No, what'd we say we're gonna call small sister?"

"Maggie!" Noah announced proudly.

"Margaret Caroline," Olivia added.

"That is so perfect," Brooke said. "So, so perfect. And Grandma will be thrilled. And little brother?"

"We're not sure about that one," Ed said, "Might be a game-day decision."

"So," Brooke scrutinized the baby bump, "How big are they now?"

"The doctor said Maggie's in the three pound range and brother's a little smaller."

"I'm getting excited," Brooke said, "I can't wait to meet them. And spoil them. And they'll be here and I won't be in school, so I can help as much as you need. Take Noah, whatever."

"I play trains wiff dem," Noah said, "I stay here, Brookey."

"Well, you just let me know if you want to get pizza or ice cream or go to the park," Brooke enticed him.

"Oh, we get pizza, Brookey. Babies can't have pizza. Dey only get milk."

"You know," Olivia said, "Carisi needs to take some vacation days. You two should get out of town this summer at some point."

"We probably should."

Brooke's phone vibrated on the counter. It was Sonny, summoning her back home. "I have to go. Something's going on. I thought Sonny was going to work when he rushed off earlier, but I don't think that's what happened."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Nobody called me. If he did go, it wasn't anything major."

"No, I'll pick you up from school Monday, okay? We'll do Monday and Thursday this week since I missed last week."

"Kay, Brookey!"

"See you guys later."

…..

Carisi was sitting on the couch when Brooke arrived. He handed her an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

Brooke gingerly slid her index finger under the flap and unfolded the contents. She was nervous. Something about Sonny's demeanor told her this paper would forever change their lives. She was right.

"Oh my God. What is this?"

Sonny stood up and took Brooke into his arms. "Before my Dad died, he sold his business. Put the money into a trust for me and my sisters. They took theirs as soon as they turned twenty-one. I left mine in there."

" _Son_."

"It's obviously not gonna cover the whole thing, but it'll make it affordable. We can do it."

Brooke trembled. "I…I don't know what to say."

Sonny thought about the engagement ring he had stashed among his things in Brooke's room, _their room_ , and he almost went to get it just then, to do all of this in one day, but he resisted the urge. "Say we're gonna do this. We're gonna call the realtor and tell her to write up an offer."

"But…" Brooke looked down at the cashier's check, "It's…so much. You—"

"Stop." Sonny had never sounded so firm, at least when he spoke to Brooke. "It's an investment. In _us_. In our home. Together. Let's do this."

Brooke's eyes darted from the check to Sonny and back again. She swallowed. Hard. Carisi thought she was going to throw up her hands and abandon the whole thing. Instead, a small smile formed on her lips.

"Let's do this."

"Really?"

"Really."

He kissed her firmly. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Brooke."

"I think maybe I do. Probably as happy as it makes me."

…..

"So, Lieu, whaddya doin' for Mother's Day?"

Olivia winced and tried to take a deep breath, delaying her response.

"Lieu, you alright?"

"Heartburn. And…I need to stand." Olivia's recent shortness of breath was explained at her last appointment. The babies, growing larger now, were pressing against her diaphragm. "Mother's Day? I don't think I'll be doing anything other than sitting at home. I'm exhausted."

"Sure ya don't wanna go home now? Start the weekend early?"

"I'm fine."

"Where are ya now? Thirty?"

"Thirty-one."

"How big are they?"

"About a hundred pounds each."

Carisi appreciated her humor. "Seriously, Lieu, lemme take you home."

Olivia sat back down in her chair. "I'm going to finish a few things up and then I'll go.

"I'll drive you."

"Carisi, I'm fine."

Sonny held up his hands in surrender and backed out of the office.

Olivia resumed work at her laptop, but her focus didn't last long. Her back hurt, she felt some light cramping, and she hadn't slept well the night before. The babies were extra mobile and finally seemed to wear themselves out just after midnight, but not before they settled into positions that made getting comfortable absolutely impossible. Ed experimented with various pillow props and spent most of the night rubbing her neck and back. As the sun rose, she gave up on sleep, took a shower, and went in to work.

The cramping increased in intensity. She gripped the edge of the desk. It passed. Cold beads of perspiration formed on her forehead, and she sat back and stared into the squad room. Momentary panic set in. Thirty-one weeks. The doctor wanted, ideally, to get her to thirty-four.

Then there was pain. It wasn't a cramp. It wasn't a contraction. It was a shooting pain in her lower abdomen.

"Carisi!"

He was in the office in a second. "Lieu? What's wrong?"

"I think I need to get to the hospital."

"Okay, c'mon. Let's go. I'll call Captain Tucker."

"No, I'll call him. Just…get me in the car."

…..

 **#Tuckson**

 **#Cliff**


	19. Chapter 19

**Nineteen.**

Bed rest.

Necessary, but not at all fun.

Ed tried to lighten the mood, look on the bright side, point out that, at least, this was for three weeks instead of ten, but Olivia was irritable and difficult to reason with. First of all, she was worried and beating herself up wondering what she'd done wrong. Secondly, she was not a sedentary person; being confined to her bed or the sofa and walks to the kitchen and bathroom imposed a serious bout of cabin fever. She opened windows to let in fresh air and the city sounds and paged through the case files Sonny brought over, but mostly she found herself counting the days until a safe delivery was possible.

"I don't wanna leave you alone," Ed said as he got ready for work one morning.

"Ed, I'm fine."

"No you're not," he kissed her forehead, "But I'm not gonna argue with you. I'll bring you lunch."

"Okay."

"Still love me?"

"Of course," she offered him a sweet smile.

"Just checkin."

"I'm gonna love you forever, Ed Tucker."

Ed dotingly ran his fingers through her hair, "Me too, baby. You know, I….never mind. I should get goin."

"What?" Olivia gripped his forearm.

Ed regarded her sheepishly, "Nothin. It's…it's…"

" _What_?"

Ed sat down beside her. "I was just gonna say I love you more each day…but that seems so…silly and trivial."

"It's not," Olivia said, her voice in a whisper.

"It's true."

"I'm so lucky."

" _We're_ so lucky."

"We are."

Olivia tugged on his arm, requesting a kiss. "Have a good day."

"I'll see ya later. Hang in there and call me if you need anything."

"Will do."

….

The twins, apparently, had the doctor's timetable in their little brains. On the day that marked the end of the thirty-fourth week, Olivia once again experienced the onset of labor. Only, this time, the babies were coming.

Olivia called Ed.

Ed called Brooke and Sarah.

Sarah immediately left work and checked Noah out of school. Brooke joined them at the Tucker apartment as soon as her school day was over.

They played the waiting game.

At the hospital, things were progressing quickly. The anesthesiologist administered the epidural via a gigantic needle that made Ed cringe. Olivia had only been set up in her room for an hour or so when the contractions increased in intensity and frequency and the doctor came in.

"Ready?" He asked.

Ed blinked. He seemed awfully casual. "Uh, yeah, we are."

"Olivia, you shouldn't be feeling pain now, just pressure."

She nodded.

Ed held her hand for the entire delivery. He dabbed at her damp forehead with a towel and brushed her hair back. Everything happened so quickly—lights shifted, nurses responded to the doctor's commands, another nurse monitored Olivia's vital signs, the doctor narrated, commanded Olivia to push and rest, push and rest, until, finally, he said something about crowning, Olivia grunted through clenched teeth, and their daughter's ear-piercing shrieks filled the room.

"Oh my God," he gasped as he saw the baby, pink, screaming, and flailing. Her little head moved from side to side, almost fighting the nurse who suctioned her mouth and nostrils before whisking her away.

"Where are they taking her?" Olivia gasped.

Ed repeated the question.

"NICU," someone answered.

Ed nodded and stared longingly at the door. Their doctor had walked them through the entire premature delivery process, so they knew what to expect. However, both he and Olivia were a tiny bit scared and unsettled at the way their baby had been so quickly taken from them.

Overwhelmed, Ed turned back to the doctor who was still positioned between Olivia's legs. He called for foreceps and Ed shuddered as the nurse delivered the medieval-looking apparatus.

"Is she okay?" Olivia asked in a panicked voice, looking around frantically.

"She's fine. Ya heard her, right? She's good, baby, they just took her to make sure."

"Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, we have to go in and get him," the doctor informed them, again not sounding terribly concerned.

 _Go in and get him?_

"Doctor, his heart rate's dropping."

All eyes shot to the fetal monitor.

Baby B was in distress.

"Get her in to surgery," the doctor commanded. "Now." He barked out directions as they wheeled Olivia the short distance to the room where an emergency C-section would be performed. "Get the anesthesiologist down here. Olivia, we're gonna give you extra pain meds. We'll have your son here soon."

Both Olivia and Ed were terrified.

"Doc, what, uh, what," Ed stammered.

"Sir, we need to go get him. Surgically. Before his heart rate drops further. Sometimes this happens with twins, the placenta was ruptured at some point when Baby A made her entrance. He's okay, but we have to go get him."

"With a C-section?"  
"Yes."

The nurse ticked off more numbers. Ed heard the word "stabilized." He forced himself to breathe and looked down at Olivia who was clearly shocked and confused. Ed didn't have time to lament the unimaginable trauma this was inflicting on his wife's body. He held her hand and kissed her forehead. Whispered that everything was going to be fine. The doctors knew what they were doing. Don't be scared. Olivia appeared dazed, weak, and frightened, but she whispered, "Whatever they have to do..."

Ed set his jaw as the incision was made. He wasn't squeamish, or at least he thought he wasn't, but the procedure seemed so barbaric and, had he not been so overwhelmed and panicked, he would have marveled at how easily the obviously experienced medical team went about their business.

"What's happening?" Olivia whispered.

Ed kissed her forehead. "They just…uh…they're just getting started." Ed spared her the grisly details and tried think pleasant thoughts so his expression didn't reveal his anxiety. "You're not in pain, are ya?"

"No."

Ed kissed her again.

"Ed, I'm scared."

Not one face in the room appeared overly concerned. Ed paid particular attention to the nurse studying the fetal monitor, and the blips representing the heartbeat were dotting the screen at a steady rate.

"Everything's okay, Liv. It's—"

"And, we have our male!" The doctor announced grandly and Ed and Olivia sighed with relief as they got a brief glimpse of their son as he was lifted above the curtain. Tears immediately fell down Olivia's cheeks. She reached for the infant who had a swath of dark hair on his head, but he, too, was rushed from the room. He wasn't crying, Ed thought he heard a yelp or two, but he couldn't be certain.

"What's wrong?" Olivia demanded, trying to sit up, but quickly realizing she was numb.

Ed looked around for answers. The nurses were busy sewing up Olivia's battered lower body. Another one called out blood pressure numbers. Finally, a third nurse came to update them. Maggie was breathing on her own. The unnamed baby boy was on oxygen assistance. He'd experienced a significantly more traumatic introduction to the world than his sister and was about a pound lighter.

"How big's Maggie?" Ed asked.

"Five pounds, one ounce."

"Can I see them?"

"Sure."

"But I don't want to leave my wife."

The nurse looked at him helplessly. It was one or the other.

"Ed, go," Olivia said weakly, "They need to see one of us."

Ed had never felt such an odd combination of reluctance and excitement. He allowed himself to be led away from the operating room and into the NICU. On the way, the nurse explained Olivia would be in recovery for a while, but she would at least get to hold Maggie very soon.

Ed's new daughter was wearing a diaper and sleeping soundly under a warming lamp. A single monitor patch was affixed to her chest and a knitted pink beanie was on her head. Ed thought she looked larger than five pounds; she was long and probably happy to be out of the womb.

"Can I touch her?" He asked.

"Of course."

He reached over and stroked her cheek. "Hey sweetheart," he whispered. "I'm your Daddy." To his delight, when he touched her little hand, she responded by gripping his finger firmly.

He didn't want to leave her side, but the nurse said, "Your son is over here." Ed followed the sound of her voice and recoiled. The baby was barely visible. He wore significantly more patches than his sister and had a breathing tube taped to his mouth. "He needs a little help breathing right now," she explained, "He'll be on oxygen for a little while, but everything else looks good."

"Yeah, uh, they can't be next to each other?"

"Sure. We'll do that."

Ed moved closer to his son. Again, he asked for permission to make contact. The nurse nodded. Just as he did with Maggie, he touched the boy's cheek and then ran his index finger down his arm. "Just breathe, baby boy," he said, "We got everything else covered, little guy. Your big brother and big sisters are all waitin' to meet ya." Ed's heart skipped a beat as he felt the miniature fingers expand a little and then resettle around Ed's, just as Maggie had done, though with a weaker grip. He saw the little chest inflate as the boy appeared to take a deep breath.

"He's responding to you," the nurse said, "Want to hold him?"

There were so many wires and tubes attached to the little body. "Can I?"

"Sure."

"My wife—"

"It'll only be for a few minutes. Then you can go check on your wife. And we can bring your daughter to her."

"Okay."

Ed sat down and the nurse gently removed the baby from the domed incubator and placed him in Ed's arms. She covered him with a blanket and stepped to the other side of the room.

"Hey big guy," he said, careful to not jostle anything while also trying to be relaxed, "Daddy's here. Daddy's gotcha." The baby moved his lips and scrunched his eyes closed. Ed studied his face and decided he had Olivia's features. He looked over at Maggie, who was fussing and being attended to by a nurse. He could already tell she looked a lot like Sarah. Like him.

"Now we gotta getcha a name, huh, pal?" It seemed weird to say "pal" and not be speaking to Noah.

The nurse came back around. "He gave us a little scare," she remarked, "But he's a fighter. A little warrior. He'll be just fine." She took the baby from Ed's arms and placed him back in the unit. Patiently, she answered his questions and they were joined by another nurse who reported that Olivia was resting comfortably in recovery.

Ed gazed down at his son. Aside from the wires and tubes and his small size, he looked completely healthy. The doctor warned that, at this stage, the skin might be almost transparent, but that wasn't the case. He wiggled a little and stretched. He even opened his eyes a crack.

Little warrior.

Suddenly, Ed knew the perfect name.

….

In the recovery room, Ed found Olivia sitting up and looking tired yet relieved. She greeted Ed with a hopeful look in her eyes and he thanked God he had good news to give her.

"Maggie's still screamin," he reported with a smile. "And the little guy. I _held_ him. He's on oxygen, but he looks real good."

"You held him? I thought—"

"Just for a minute or two. He's fine, baby," Ed kissed her lips, "You did so good. I'm so proud of you. You're amazing." He pressed his forehead to her and they stared into each other's eyes until the doctor came in.

He congratulated them and explained the next steps. Maggie would stay in the NICU for a couple days so they could monitor her blood pressure, make sure she was feeding properly, and didn't need jaundice treatment. All of her tests and numbers were strong and normal.

Baby Boy Tucker would need to stay a bit longer. He needed to gain weight and his blood pressure had dropped slightly which was to be expected but still a point of concern. They would continue to watch his breathing and the doctor expected him to need the CPAP for a few days. While that was happening, he would be fed through a tube.

Olivia looked crestfallen and it broke Ed's heart.

"Doc, how long ya thinking? Rough estimate."

"Based on past cases? A week. Maybe two. It just depends on how quickly he gains the weight and adjusts to life outside the womb. Mrs. Tucker, you'll be here for a couple days at least, but give it an hour or so and we'll get ya on some other meds for the pain, you can get in there and be close to him.

"Doctor?" One of the nurses, a comely middle-aged woman wheeled Maggie into the room. Olivia sat up straighter, barely able to contain herself as she anticipated holding her daughter for the first time. Ed helped Olivia peel back a corner of her gown so she could hold the baby kangaroo style. Olivia breathed deeply and briefly closed her eyes after the nurse placed the baby on her chest. The placid moment was such a stark contrast to just an hour or so earlier when Maggie Tucker made her raucous entrance.

Ed hovered over the precious pair.

"Hi sweet girl," Olivia cooed softly, "I'm your Mommy." Eyes closed, Maggie smacked her lips contentedly. Olivia touched her cheek to hers. "Baby girl," she murmured. With her free hand she felt the tiny legs, feet, toes, hands, and fingers. "She's perfect."

"Yeah she is," Ed agreed and gently peeled back the beanie. "And lookit all this hair."

"She has your face," Olivia observed, "You look like Daddy, don'tcha sweetheart?"

"Wyatt has yours," Ed replied.

"Wyatt?"

Ed laughed at his slip. "Uh, yeah, whaddya think about that name?"

" _How_ did you think of that name?"

"The nurse called him a little warrior. Wyatt. It means _little warrior_."

"How do you know that?"

Ed shrugged sheepishly, "Irish baby names dot com. And, of course, Wyatt Earp, the lawman."

"Wyatt," Olivia said slowly, her lips curling into a smile. She repeated the name and took her time with the syllables. "Wyatt Edward Tucker?" She suggested.

"Yeah."

"I like it."

"Me too."

The ensuing silence amplified the sound of Ed's phone vibrating in his pocket. In the flurry of activity and emotion, he hadn't noticed earlier notifications.

"Well, should we send some pictures?" Ed asked.

"Let them know everyone's okay. But I want to see Wyatt first. I want a few minutes. Just the four of us. Okay?"

"Whatever you want, Liv." Ed fired off a quick text to Sarah and Brooke, "I'll get the nurse, see if we can getcha in there. Wait 'til you see him. He looks just like you."

….

Sarah was beside herself with impatience.

"This is violently unfair," she whined, "The whole day he couldn't send us a text?"

"I think they were a little busy," Brooke replied. "Give him a break."

Noah chewed on a piece of garlic bread. After initial excitement and a mini-dance party to celebrate the impending birth, the lack of news made the rest of the day and early evening take on a typical nature. He and the sisters ate junk food, played at the park, and, after dinner, they'd let Noah take a big-boy shower in his parents' bathroom before bed.

"So, he reports everyone is fine. What the hell? Can I get a freaking _picture_?"

" _Sarah_."

"I'm worried."

"He said they're fine," Brooke was rational, "But, they're early. They're probably in the NICU and there's a lot going on. Not to mention the emotions they're probably feeling, I mean, God, it's close to a miracle…they wanted this so badly and now the babies are here."

" _We_ should be there!" Sarah protested.

"Sarah, it's their moment. And they'll probably want some time alone with Noah, too."

The younger sister collapsed on the couch. "You're right. I'm so exhausted. This has been a mentally fatiguing day, _jeeeeeeez_."

"Tell me about it. At least you got to be here with Noah. I was ignoring my kids all day. They were literally asking me questions I was like, _huh_?"

Sarah laughed. "Poor kids. Don't get yourself fired, Brookey. You'll have to foreclose on that fancy apartment."

"We're not even moved in yet."

"When do you close again?"

"Next week. Gonna miss us?"

"Of course! But…it's time. And I won't stay there much longer. Then Dad can sell it and use all the money to buy diapers and toys."

Noah wandered over with his tablet in his hand. "Lookit!"

"What's this, No?"

"Omigod, omigod, omigod. It's us!"

Sure enough, Noah had drawn eight faces. Above his head, he'd written an _N_. "I put da letters," Noah said. "Sare bear, you start wiff S!"

"Yep! And, Brookey is B, and Daddy is D, and Mommy is M, and…Maggie is M, too. Is this Sonny?"

"Uh-huh."

"Sonny is S like me. And…crap, we don't know what baby brother's name is."

"Crap!" Noah shouted and continued before Brooke could reprimand anyone. "You ask Daddy wiff da phone?"

"Yes," Sarah said decisively, "We shall ask Daddy with the phone. Let's take a selfie, and maybe we'll get one back."

…..

Olivia reluctantly handed Maggie to Ed who cradled her for a few minutes before allowing the nurse to swaddle the infant and take her back to the NICU where she would be parked next to her brother. Another nurse came in and helped Olivia into a wheelchair.

Ed thought Olivia would be alarmed seeing Wyatt hooked up to all the machines, but she seemed to take the sight in stride and calmly requested to hold him. His blood pressure was back to normal and she got the go ahead.

"Contact with Mommy will be good for him," the nurse said.

Olivia held the little boy to her with both hands. He felt heavier than he looked and she was comforted as she felt his chest rise and fall with each breath. "Hey there, baby boy. How's my Wyatt?" Just as Ed had told her, his face was rounder than his sister's. He also had more hair, a broader nose, and fuller lips. Olivia examined his hands and his fingers curled around hers. "These hands are huge, right?" She looked up at Ed and the nurse.

"They're big," the nurse agreed.

"Gonna be big and strong," Ed added. He scanned the room for another chair. The nurse read his mind and dragged a rocker over. She saw him eyeing a whimpering Maggie, waiting for permission to pick her up.

"Go ahead," she said. "She looks like she wants her Daddy."

Ed gently lifted the bundle, making sure to support her head and neck, and settled into the chair. He kissed her forehead softly and gazed at her, happy that her cries were fading. The nurse handed him a pacifier to experiment with, and he held it to her lips, surprised at how she instinctively took it into her mouth and started sucking.

Olivia reached over for Ed's hand. They gazed into each other's eyes as they gently rocked their children.

"This is surreal," she remarked.

"Yeah it is. I sorta…can't believe it."

"I know, but, this feels so good. So right. I can't wait for Noah to meet them."

"He's gonna fall in love."

"We should probably send them a picture now. Sarah's probably bouncing off the walls."

Ed asked the nurse to take a picture of them and he quickly sent it to both Sarah and Brooke. He maneuvered the phone back into his pocket and looked down at Maggie. She was wriggling, fluttering her eyelids open, and stretched her arms. One hand landed on Ed's exposed collarbone and her little fingers gripped the protuberance possessively.

"Daddy's girl already," Olivia said, smiling. "Didn't take her long."

Ed looked confused."Take her long?"

"To figure out how safe you make us feel."

Ed extended himself across the armrests for a kiss. The compliment sent a pleasant tingle up and down his spine. The feel of his wife's lips against his, the sight of her with their son, the five pound daughter sleeping soundly in his own arms—it brought tears to his eyes.

Olivia touched his face. "I love you, Ed."

"I love you, Liv. And…I'm just…in awe."

"Of?"

"You," he replied softly, "You feelin' okay? I can't believe you're…I mean…delivery, C-section," Ed scanned her body.

"I'm good, Ed. Really. Starting to feel a little bit sore. But," she let her eyes fall to her sleeping son and then looked over at Maggie. "It's worth every single stitch and all the pain and whatever else."

"You tell me if somethin's not right."

"I will." Doubt lingered in Ed's eyes. "I _promise_."

….

"NOEY! Omigod, omigod, omigod, Noey! C'mere!"

Noah ran into the kitchen toward the sound of Sarah's voice. "I here, Sare bear!"

"Come and see your new brother and sister!"

"Where they at?"

Brooke lifted Noah onto the island. "They're at the hospital. But look at this picture. They're with Mommy and Daddy."

Noah examined the photograph and expertly moved his fingers to zoom in and out. "Daddy holdin' small sister."

"Yep," Sarah said, "Daddy's got Maggie."

"Maggie," Noah repeated in a hushed voice. "She gotta hat on! A pink one!"

"She sure does!" Brooke exclaimed.

"Why bruvver have dat stuff on his mouth?"

"He just needs a little help breathing," Brooke explained.

Sarah looked concerned, but maintained a cheery demeanor. "I wonder what brother's name is! Mommy and Daddy sure aren't sending us very much information!"

"I wanna go! Wanna see Mommy and Daddy and small sister and bruvver! I bring da trains and da picture!"

"I think we'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to go see them," Sarah said, looking to Brooke for confirmation, "Mommy and the babies probably have to rest tonight."

Noah's lower lip trembled. "I wanna see dem! I wanna go to da hop-i-tal!"

"Hey, hey," Brooke comforted Noah, "How about we call Daddy and see if we can Face Time? You can see him and talk, remember? You've Face Timed before."

Noah sniffled. "Kay."

"Alright," Brooke said, thankful a tantrum had been averted, "Let's call."

….

Maggie was breastfeeding for the first time when the call came through. Ed declined the Face Time invite, but voice-called right back.

"Hey, Brooke, Liv's feedin' Maggie right now. Everything okay?" He heard Noah's voice in the background.

"Yeah," Brooke said, "Is everything okay over there? We're just…a little…uh…in need of information."

"Oh," Ed rubbed his head, "Sorry, uh, it's been a helluva crazy day," he chuckled a little. "Liv delivered Maggie, then they had to do an emergency C-section to get Wyatt."

"His name's Wyatt," Brooke called to Sarah and Noah. Ed heard some happy shrieks and Sarah's signature _omigods_.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, Wyatt Edward and Margaret Caroline. Maggie's just over five pounds, Wyatt four. He's on oxygen, prolly for a couple days, but they say he'll be fine. Maggie's breathing on her own and," Ed peeked back into the room, "Apparently having no problem eating."

There was a commotion on the other end and Ed next heard Sarah's voice. "Daddy! We're dying over here! When can we see the babies and Livvie?"

"Lemme check with Liv. Most likely tomorrow. She's gonna have to stay the night. Any chance I can talk you in to staying with Noah?"

"Of course! I'll take tomorrow off. We just want to see you guys!"

"Liv's tired…she's gonna be out soon. I'm gonna come home in a little bit and get a couple of things then I'm gonna stay here."

"Okay."

"Go ahead and call Grandma."

"Alright."

"Lemme talk to Noah."

Sarah handed Noah the phone. Ed heard her say "It's Daddy."

"Hi Daddy!"

Hearing Noah's little voice made Ed smile. "Hey, bud! Didja see the picture of your new brother and sister?"

"Uh-huh! Dey wearin' hats!"

"They sure are. Keeps 'em nice and warm. Small sister's eating now. Little brother's sleeping. His name's Wyatt."

"Wy-att," Noah repeated.

"Yeah, like that name?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well, I'm comin' home in a little bit and I'll read ya stories. You can stay up 'til I get there."

"Kay, Daddy!"

Noah dropped the phone and Sarah or Brooke must have assumed Ed had already ended the call because he heard muffled voices, bangs, clangs, and maybe the television. He smiled, hung up, and returned to Olivia's side where Maggie was still nursing.

"Hungry girl," Olivia said.

The nurse and lactation consultant smiled. "We'll leave you alone for now," the nurse said. "Press the call button if you need anything."

Ed kissed the side of Olivia's head and tucked some loose strands behind her ear. "I talked to the girls and Noah. Sarah's gonna stay with Noah tonight. I'll run home in a bit for a few things. Want me to bring ya food or anything from home?"

"I am a little hungry." Olivia couldn't remember the last time she ate, "Maybe a soup and some bread?"

"You got it."

Olivia yawned. "I'm getting very tired now."

"Been a long day. Want me to take her?"

"Sure," Olivia replied, "I think she's done."

Ed put a blanket over his shoulder and held Maggie so her head was just under his chin. "Alright, Mags, let's burp for Daddy." He slowly paced the room, patting the infant's back until she produced a gurgled croak. " _Good girl_ ," he praised, kissing her head. "Daddy loves you, Maggie Tucker."

Olivia wanted to sleep but the sweet scene playing out at the foot of her bed was too adorable to miss. The pride hadn't left Ed's face all day, but there was something else in his body language, the determined swagger of a confident man on a mission. She remembered his words to her when they found out they were pregnant, when he promised he would be perfect.

"Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to see Wyatt before I fall asleep."

"Alright. We'll all go. Then I'll run home."

"You can stay at home, sleep in bed."

"No," he replied resolutely. "I'm staying here. And in the morning I'll go get Noah, bring him back here. He misses his Mommy." The hospital did not allow young children in the NICU, so he wouldn't be able to see Wyatt in person quite yet. Maggie's time in the NICU was short-lived, and Noah would be able to meet her.

"I hope we can all be home together soon," Olivia mused.

Ed bent down and kissed Olivia, careful to keep Maggie secure against his chest. "The five of us will be all together before ya know it, Liv."

"You better make that number seven around Sarah," she joked.

"Right."

"Mr. and Mrs. Tucker?"

A nurse arrived with a wheelchair. Ed placed Maggie in her wheeled bassinet and helped Olivia get out of bed and into the chair. He pushed Olivia and the nurse followed with Maggie.

Ed got an idea. "Hey, is it okay if I Face Time my other kids?" He asked the nurse.

"Sure. Just keep the volume low."

Figuring Sarah was the best bet, Ed tried her first. Sure enough, she picked up on the initial ring.

"Hey," Ed said, "Thought you and Brooke and Noah might want to say goodnight to the babies."

"Omigod, omigod, Brookey, Noey, c'mere!"

Ed pointed the camera at Maggie and then at Wyatt.

"Say night-night to Maggie and Wyatt," Sarah prompted Noah.

He put his face directly in front of the camera and blew kisses. "Night-night!"

Olivia took the phone, "Hey sweet boy," she said, her voice nearly a whisper. "I love you so much and I miss you."

"Luvvvyou, Mommy! You bring dose babies home?"

"Pretty soon, sweetie. Daddy will bring you here tomorrow morning, okay? I can't wait to see you."

"Kay, Mommy! Daddy, you comin' here?"

"I'll be there in a little bit, bud. Wait up. Tell Brookey and Sarah you don't have to go to bed yet."

Olivia and Ed laughed as Noah gleefully told his sisters he was allowed to stay up late. They hung up, stroked Wyatt's cheeks and chest, and handed over Maggie to the nursery staff for the night. Ed took Olivia back to the room, adjusted her pillows, and made sure she had everything she needed before he ran home.

"I'm sure I'll be asleep when you come back," she mumbled, already starting to doze off.

"Good."

"Ed, you really don't have—"

" _Liv_."

"Okay, okay," she relented.

"Still want me to bring some food?"

"Yes…just to be on the safe side."

Ed nodded, made sure he had his wallet and phone, and turned to leave.

"Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"You're perfect, ya know."

He smirked shyly, winked, blew her a kiss, and floated all the way home.

….

 **A/N: I am NOT a doctor, I do not have kids, I have never been present at a delivery, and all my knowledge of medical stuff in this chapter came from Google searches so don't beat me up for errors, inaccuracies, or my #Tuckson #Fluffson hopes and dreams…..**


	20. Chapter 20

**Twenty**.

"Dis the hop-i-tal?"

"Yeah, bud." Ed pointed to the elevator doors, "Push the up arrow."

Noah smacked the button with his open palm, careful not to damage the small bouquet he had in his other hand. After having breakfast together, Ed and Noah stopped for flowers and then had to double back to the apartment because they forgot the _I'm The Big Brother_ t-shirt. In addition to the flowers, Noah filled his backpack with books, the two toy train pieces, and two pieces of artwork he'd created during his time with Sarah and Brooke. He had additional pieces stored on the tablet, but Sarah insisted he put some of his creations on paper so they could be hung.

Noah hopped in the elevator in front of Ed and followed directions for pushing the button to the correct floor.

"You excited?" Ed asked.

"Uh-huh! I see small sister today!"

"Yep."

"Haveta wait to see bruvver."

Earlier, as they ate their eggs and toast, Ed prepped him for the visit. Noah listened intently while Ed told him he had to be gentle with Mommy and Maggie and it would be a few days before he could meet Wyatt. Noah couldn't quite comprehend the hospital's rules and started to get upset, but after Ed bargained and promised to put the red train next to Wyatt's crib, Noah calmed down.

They left the elevator and Noah seemed to instinctively know where to go. He skipped ahead and didn't heed Ed's calls to slow down. Smiling, Ed picked up the pace, nodded apologetically to the attendants at the nurse's station, and caught up with Noah right before the little boy came to a sudden stop.

"Babies cryin!"

"Sure are." Wails of various pitches and volumes, in addition to beeps, crackles, and medical staff chatter filled the air. "Keep goin, bud, end of the hall, on the left."

Before proceeding, Noah held up his hands, one at a time, shifting the flowers, and made an "L" shape the way Brooke taught him. He found the room and entered with Ed at his heels.

"Mommy!"

Noah ran to the bed, but before he came within striking distance, Ed deftly wrapped an arm around him. "Remember, bud. Careful."

Noah slowed down and approached more slowly. Olivia extended an arm and gave him a kiss. "Hi sweet boy! I missed you so much! I'm so glad to see you!"

"I gad to see you too!" Noah was trying to get a foothold on something to hoist himself up next to his mother. "Where small sister?"

"She'll be right back." Olivia looked up at Ed, "They took her to get weighed and a few more tests. You should've seen her eating after you left. It's amazing."

"They say anything about discharging her?"

"No, but she kept her temperature all last night in the crib and everything else is fine." Olivia's face fell a little, "I just hope…we can go home together."

Ed came over and kissed her, "Don't worry about that, Liv. One thing at a time."

"I know," she whispered.

"Hey, bud," Ed said brightly, "Let's get ya washed up so you can hold Maggie!"

When Noah and Ed reappeared from the attached bathroom, one of the nurses was wheeling Maggie into the room. Noah strained to see over the transparent hard plastic bassinet sides and jumped up and down impatiently. Ed told him to go over to the large recliner and he packed pillows at his sides. Then, he carefully lifted the swaddled newborn and placed her in Noah's lap. He gawked at her, stiffened, but repeated more of Ed's earlier instructions.

"Be gentle wiff small sister. Hold da head."

Maggie wriggled a little bit and moved her hands around her face, jostling her beanie. Noah jerked his head up. "Daddy! Her hat! She takin' her hat off!"

Ed simply removed it altogether. "It's okay, bud. She just wants you to see her hair! Lookit!

"She gotta lot of hair!"

"Yeah."

From the bed, Olivia blinked back tears, "She loves you, sweet Noah. Look how happy she is to be held by her big brother!"

Noah leaned down and both Ed and Olivia thought he was simply looking at the lettering on his shirt, but he planted a kiss on the corner of Maggie's forehead. Keeping both eyes on Noah, Ed handed Olivia the nearby box of tissues. He knew her tears would be flowing now. Ed crouched in front of his son and new daughter.

"When you're ready to put her back in her crib, we'll get the pink train out and you can show it to her."

"I still holdin' small sister," Noah said defensively as if he perceived Ed's comment to be a ploy to get him to immediately relinquish his time with Maggie.

"I know, pal. Hold her as long as you want." Ed pulled up an armchair so he could sit adjacent to them and still face Olivia. They had officially been in the hospital for only twenty-four hours, but it felt like they'd been here for days. Flowers and shimmery pink and blue balloons began arriving while Ed was gone that morning—they were from Olivia's squad, the DA's office, assorted Tuckers, and Ed's unit. In their haste to see Olivia and Maggie, Ed and Noah neglected to formally present their bouquets.

"Hey, bud, we forgot to give Mommy our flowers!"

Noah craned his neck around but kept the rest of his body stable, careful not to disturb Maggie. He giggled. "Oops! We forgetted!"

Olivia saw them placed on one of the wheeled tables. "You did a great job picking them out," she said, "I love them. The wildflowers and the daisies. They're my favorites."

"Mommy, you get outta dat bed?"

Ed realized he had the same question.

"I went for a little walk while you were gone. Saw Wyatt. I'll take a shower in a little bit…before anyone else shows up. I must look like a mess."

"You pretty, Mommy!"

"Yeah, you are," Ed added, "But…you didn't walk around alone, did you?" Olivia had walked to and from her bed to the bathroom and taken small laps around the room, but nothing longer than those short distances.

"Ed, I'm good," She was careful not to use _fine_ , "Sore, that's all."

"No pain at all?" Ed asked, not totally believing her.

"A little when I get out of bed. I may need you to wash my hair. It might be hard to reach up."

 _So she wasn't all good_. He disregarded the bit of reticence and smirked flirtatiously. "I'd be honored to wash your hair."

Olivia blushed. "Easy Captain. I'm not feeling _that_ good."

Entranced by the infant, Noah paid no attention to his parents' flirting. Gradually, he got more comfortable and relaxed. With the pillows, there was little room for danger, and Ed was inches away. The next time Maggie fidgeted, Noah caught her hand with his and held the little fist. Used to being the smallest in the room, holding the miniature hand in his was empowering. "I da big bruvver," he whispered faintly as his parents bantered back and forth.

A short while later, an unfamiliar nurse came in with the birth certificates. "Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker," she smiled at Noah, "and who's _this_?"

"Tell her your name, bud."

"Noah," he replied softly. "And dis my small sister."

" _Oh_?" She said with exaggerated interest, "What's her name?"

"Maggie."

"Well, Maggie is very lucky to have you for a big brother! You're doing such a good job holding her!" The nurse was nice and kind, but she had business to handle. "Please make sure the information is accurate," she instructed and read off the babies' names before handing over the documents for signatures, "Wyatt Edward Benson Tucker. Margaret Caroline Benson Tucker. Who's signing?"

Ed and Olivia each took one of the documents and proudly signed. The nurse explained the documents would go down to the in-house registrar's office and copies would be ready for them when they were discharged.

"Daddy? When I see da bruvver?"

"Remember, No? He hasta be in his own little room for a little while."

"Yeah," Noah murmured, "So he can breave."

"How 'bout I go check on him?" Ed was anxious to see his infant son and wished the little boy could be in the room with them. He wasn't hooked up to as many monitors as other babies in the NICU, he was larger, and looked healthier, too. "Let's give Maggie to Mommy. Unless, Liv, you want her in the crib?"

"No, I'll take her," Olivia said, "And, Noah, come over here. You can sit in the bed next to me. Wanna read her a story? Did you bring books?"

"Uh-huh!"

Ed took Maggie, and Noah rummaged through his backpack. He ran a book over to Olivia, but quickly returned to the bag for the pink train.

"Here ya go, Maggie!" He announced triumphantly, "Pink train just for you!"

Noah clambered onto the bed with Ed's help and observed with interest when Olivia pressed the controls to increase the incline so she was almost sitting straight up. Maggie blinked her eyes half-open, and her little head turned in Noah's direction. He reached for her arm and carefully placed her hand on the top of the locomotive.

"It say, _choo-choo_!" He laughed as he made the noise. "Daddy, you say small sister too little to play, but she playin!" He moved the locomotive back and forth. " _Choo-choo_!"

Holding up his hands, Ed shrugged, "I didn't realize bud…how much she was wantin' to play with ya!"

"Daddy, you go give bruvver da red train, kay?" Noah didn't take his eyes off Maggie as he spoke. "You help him play."

Ed was glad for the chance to get away for a few minutes and collected himself. By the time he got into the corridor, tears were streaming from his eyes.

…..

"Livvie!" Sarah entered in whirlwind fashion, loaded with bags, balloons, and more flowers. She apologized profusely for being late, but her boss called about a potential hire coming in from Nashville and he kept her on the phone too long for what really was a five minute conversation. That, coupled with the stops at the florist and at home to get the baby gifts delayed her arrival by almost two hours. After her rapid-fire explanation, she took a deep breath and dropped everything at her feet, flowers included.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod. Look. At. Her."

Ed had sent both Sarah and Brooke the pictures from earlier—Noah and Maggie, Noah, Olivia, and Maggie, Ed posing for a selfie with the three of them—but no images did the real thing justice.

"Can I hold her, Livvie?"

"Of course."

"Be careful, Sare Bear," Noah warned, "Hold her tight."

"I got it, Noey. You tell me how I'm doin okay?"

Sarah cradled Maggie in her arms and sat in the recliner. Noah walked up to the chair and nodded approvingly. "Yep! Dat how ya do it!"

"Do you think she likes me Noey?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah put a finger to the corner of Maggie's mouth and lifted gently. "She smiling!" Noah took the chair Ed had previously occupied and watched closely as Sarah began bonding with her new sibling.

"Livvie she's so perfect."

"I know. She looks like you."

Sarah beamed. "She kinda does, doesn't she? At least, she has the Tucker features for sure. It's funny how you can already tell. I always think of babies as being these little blobs for a little while but," she traced one of Maggie's cheekbones, "This girl is absolutely stunning."

Olivia was certain she could see Sarah's brain begin to churn out thoughts of future big sister-little sister mani-pedis and shopping sprees.

"Where's Daddy?" Sarah asked after a few minutes of pleasant silence.

"With Wyatt."

"Can I go in there?" Concern was etched on Sarah's face. She had no clue whether or not her Dad had exaggerated Wyatt's optimistic prognosis and she was completely ignorant about NICU procedures.

"We asked," Olivia replied, "You and Brooke are good to go."

"Okay, baby girl," Sarah cooed, "I'm gonna go see the other twinsie."

"I hold small sister 'gain?" Noah asked excitedly.

"Sweet boy," Olivia reached out for him, "Come here."

Noah walked over.

"Why don't you come up here with Mommy and we'll play with Maggie up here? That way if she needs to eat or if she cries, we can take care of her together."

"Kay."

Sarah made sure the three of them were situated before following Olivia's directions to the NICU. She checked in with a desk clerk and spotted her Dad waving to her from the opposite end of the room where he was holding Wyatt against his bare chest. Subdued and looking worried, Sarah tiptoed gingerly past other beds, reached the rocking chair, put her hand on Ed's shoulder, and examined her new brother. Having seen three or four very tiny preemies on the way over, she was pleasantly surprised at his appearance. He had significantly fewer tubes attached to him than the other babies, and, though small, he had a healthy-looking dark pink hue to his skin, and his face, partially obstructed by the CPAP, was surprisingly plump. A pair of full lips, formed in a slight overbite, puckered contentedly, just barely making contact with Ed's skin. His arms were bent at ninety-degree angles, and his hands were clenched in tight little fists.

"Haveta take our shirts off in here?" Sarah joked, looking around with a smirk on her face, "Interesting hospital."

Ed smiled and replied in the softest voice Sarah had ever heard from him, "Skin-on-skin, supposed to be good for them. Seems to work. He's hardly getting any O2s right now and he's breathin' fine. Numbers are great. Hopin' to have him off this in the next couple days."

"When can he go home?"

"Needs to gain a little weight and be able to nurse."

"I just got done holding Maggie. He doesn't look any smaller."

"He's got about a half pound to go."

"Can I hold him?"

Since his first time holding Wyatt, Ed was addicted to the feel of his little boy's body against his, but he reluctantly agreed to switch places with Sarah. "Keep your shirt on, though," he quipped.

In Sarah's arms, Wyatt fussed a little at first. "Hey, hey," Sarah said in a hushed voice, "It's okay, baby Wyatt. It's me! Your sis! I'm going to spoil you rotten!" She pried his fingers apart and wrapped them around her own. "There ya go," she coaxed as he settled in to her arms, "That's right. The promise of toys always works."

"I didn't think we'd be able to hold him at all," Ed admitted a bit sheepishly as he pulled on his polo, "With the wires and everything."

"Well, I'm glad we can. That'd be _horrible_ …for you and for him!"

"I know."

"Dad, you're adorable." Sarah grinned. In one day, her father underwent yet another glaringly obvious transformation. A new vitality rooted in renewed paternal pride shone in his eyes. He appeared genuinely devastated at having to temporarily relinquish possession of his son, and even when he tried to deflect Sarah's jesting, he revealed how hopelessly smitten he was with the baby boy.

"Nah. He's adorable."

"Omigod, omigod, omigod. I cannot handle this." Sarah dabbed at her eye with the back of her hand. Slightly embarrassed, for she did not often cry in front of anyone, even family members, she pretended to direct her gaze at the array of machines in the room.

"I'm gonna go talk to one of his nurses," Ed mumbled, "You alright here for a minute?"

"Yeah," Sarah murmured, "We're gonna have a little chat." Ed walked away and Sarah began rocking back and forth as she gazed down lovingly. "You're gonna have Mommy's eyes aren't you? Big brown eyes, Wyatt…" she searched for something to add after _Wyatt_. Noah was Noey Boey. She was pretty sure Maggie was going to be _Maggie May,_ but _Wyatt_ was challenging.

 _WyGuy?_

 _No, sounded too much like "wise guy."_

"We'll figure it out, sweet boy." Sarah laughed.

 _Now I sound like Livvie_.

But that was fine with her.

…

The clock read three a.m. and neither Brooke nor Sonny showed any signs of succumbing to sleep. They both had worked all day and spent several hours after work at the hospital meeting the babies and chatting with Olivia and Ed. The entire family, eight including Sonny, dined on take out in the hospital room. They gushed over the hundreds of pictures that had been taken over the past day, made plans for preparing the apartment for the twins' arrival, and Sonny updated Olivia on SVU. She took the watered-down report with remarkable calm and Brooke marveled to Sonny later on how she actually seemed not to be all that interested. Or maybe it was that she had complete confidence in her squad. Whatever it was, Brooke found it refreshing to see her almost completely detach herself from her job.

Sonny nibbled at Brooke's bare shoulder. "Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Everything," Brooke replied without hesitation.

"Everything?" He took another, bigger, bite of her skin.

"Yes."

"Anything in particular you care to share?"

"It was an emotional day."

"You sound like you're ashamed to admit that."

"Maybe I am," Brooke mused, "I mean, it took me a long time to warm up to the idea they were having _one_ baby. Then the news about twins…that floored me. And now…if I could I would go back to that hospital and sit there all night with them."

"You're in love."

"I am."

"Don't feel bad about anything, Brooke. We all felt the same way."

"Not Sarah."

"I don't think Sarah should ever be a litmus test."

At this, Brooke laughed softly, "Good point."

"But now it's fine. Everything's good. They'll all be home soon and figure out how to handle three kids. And us…well…next week."

"I know."

"You feelin' okay about that?"

"Yes," Brooke answered confidently. "I am."

Sonny sensed something was amiss. "Sure?"

"Yeah. It's just…"

Concerned, he propped himself up on an elbow, creating some distance between them. "What?"

"You're going to think I'm horrible."

"No I'm not. What is it?" Sonny tried to conceal his shudder and his anxiety. They were literally getting the keys to a very nice and very expensive loft next week and his girlfriend was going to say something that might make him think she's horrible?

"Today…when Noah was holding Maggie."

"That was so cute," Sonny interrupted, more out of relief than anything else. It was cute. Brooke was probably going to say she was worried about Noah eventually getting jealous.

"It was, but, I couldn't help but think…will he feel left out when he gets old enough to be told he's adopted?" Brooke frowned, "It sounds so childish for me to say that. But ever since you told me, who his father was, told me about his history, I can't stop thinking about how sweet and kind and gentle he is…and if, one day, that'll disappear and he'll, well, his _genes_ will show?"

"The guy…that guy," Sonny stammered. He didn't want to utter Johnny D's name nor did he want to use the word _father_ in that context, "Look. In my experience, it's not genes that creates these monsters." Carisi was fully sitting up now, holding both Brooke's hands in his, "It's one of two things. They're either wired wrong or something terrible, traumatic, and horrific happened in their lives at some point and knocked everything out of whack. The first, well, you can't control. You can only hope to catch it before someone gets hurt. The second? Well…there aren't many people I'd trust more with my life than Captain Tucker and the Lieutenant…and I'm not even their _kid_."

Brooke breathed a sigh of relief. Sonny always made her feel better; he had a comforting way of realistically putting things in perspective. He and Sarah both had a knack for seeing the big picture, but Sarah's conclusions were often flights of fancy. Sonny's made sense, and he always put Brooke's mind at ease. So, he more than deserved the bone she threw him just then.

"Maybe…" she played with his messy mop of hair, "One day…you'll be an _in-law_ sort of kid…"

Sonny swallowed and cursed his decision to stow the ring elsewhere while they prepared to move. Nevertheless, Brooke's hint sent him into a euphoria he imagined the most fervent addict would envy, he gazed at his almost-fiancée naked in the moonlight, looking up at him with a sort of sincere affection he didn't realize she was capable of expressing, and somehow, he summoned the restraint to hold off on the proposal.

Instead of stringing together some sweet talk, Sonny wrapped Brooke in his arms and kissed her passionately. Right before he shoved all extraneous thoughts aside and prepared to fully concentrate on the impending lovemaking, Sonny remembered the day he showed Ed the ring and how the Captain sagely told him to hold off on presenting the ring to Brooke.

 _"Welcome to the family, Carisi."_

Confident and maybe a bit smug, Sonny strategized the proposal as he trailed kisses down Brooke's face and neck.

…..

 **#Tuckson**

 **Ready for the babies to come home?**


	21. Chapter 21

**Twenty-one.**

A brief yet piercing beep signaled Brooke's entrance. Ed offered to disable the alarm, but Olivia declined, thinking but not saying that the suggestion was a little overboard. Careful not to make any unnecessary noise, Brooke slowly made her way down the foyer and to the living room where she set the two Grande French Roasts she was carrying on the coffee table and held out her arms.

"Let me take her."

Ed didn't appear particularly willing to give up his infant daughter, but he handed her over anyway. Brooke paced the room, holding Maggie tightly to her chest for a little while before sitting down in the easy chair. She rested her legs on the coffee table and laid the baby on her legs. Maggie stretched and wiggled, getting used to the unfamiliar feeling of having her limbs free from contact.

"She already looks longer," Brooke remarked even though Maggie's arms and legs were completely swallowed up by her pink ballerina sleeper, a gift from Sarah.

"When we left the hospital she was six pounds, eighteen inches." Ed sipped his coffee. "And she seems to eat a lot. Like, really a lot."

"That's good," Brooke said sweetly, "Hi Mags! Open those eyes for your Brookey. There ya go!"

Two days ago, they brought Maggie home. She arrived to flowers, more balloons, a cake, and several gifts, all expertly arranged by Sarah and Brooke. The homecoming was slightly anticlimactic and bittersweet. Olivia choked back tears and stood with Ed and Noah in the middle of the living room, Maggie still strapped in her baby seat, not quite sure how exactly to start their normal family life together and also missing Wyatt terribly. He had been weaned from oxygen assistance, but he was experiencing bouts of apnea during his feedings, so he had to stay in the NICU a bit longer.

Maggie scrunched up her face and cried a little, so Brooke adjusted their positioning and cradled her against her body. "Have a routine yet?" Brooke asked, trying to cultivate some hushed small talk.

"Not really. Letting Liv get as much rest as possible. She's still not a hundred percent. Noah's back at school, so at least he's back to his usual."

Brooke stared at Maggie. "Can you believe it's real?"

Ed rubbed his unshaven face. "Getting her home…yeah, it feels real. In the hospital it was almost like I was watching someone else's life."

"Nervous?"

"Of course," Ed surprised himself with his own honesty, "But, I was mostly nervous about Liv and them being healthy. And I'll feel better after Wyatt gets home." Ed took a deep breath, "For a few minutes, when they were takin' her for the C-section, I was terrified. I thought we were going to lose him."

Neither Ed nor Olivia had revealed much about the delivery, and this shocked Brooke. "What?"

"Everything happened so fast," Ed recalled. "Even Maggie. One second we were timing contractions and the next, all these lights and people runnin' around, and boom, there she was, then they took her away."

"Why?"

"NICU. Hospital policy. Doc took us through the whole procedure, but, in that moment, seemed a little cruel to get her outta there so quickly."

"No kidding," Brooke marveled, "But…I guess it's for a reason."

"Right."

"Then they realized something was wrong?" Brooke found herself suddenly fascinated with the details.

"He hadn't dropped. His heart rate was goin' down, so, split-second decision, they took her for a C-section. And," Ed scratched his neck furiously, "I'm thinking and seeing all of this happen and Liv's face, she's scared, and…I have no idea how I managed to keep it together."

Brooke smiled proudly, "You're a cop. You're used to those situations."

"Maybe. But not when they involve your wife and kids." Ed took another sip of his coffee and stretched his legs out across the cushions. His body felt empty without a child in his arms. "And, when Wyatt was born, he didn't really cry, not like her."

"He didn't?" Maybe it was from watching too many television shows and movies, but Brooke was under the impression that all babies screamed bloody murder upon entry to the world.

"No. Just some little sounds."

" _Has_ he cried?"

"Oh yeah. But, that one," Ed nodded in Brooke's direction and a smirk formed on his face, "She's _demanding_. Wyatt's crying is kinda polite, like he's sorry to bother you."

Brooke laughed and spoke to Maggie, "That's the way we women _are_ , right Mags? We know what we want and we want it _now_!"

Olivia shuffled into the room dressed in pajama pants and an old t-shirt of Ed's. Her hair was swept into a messy ponytail. Though makeup-less, her face appeared considerably brighter than it had been the last time Brooke saw her.

"Hey," she said softly, putting a hand on Brooke's shoulder.

"Hi," Brooke replied, "How ya feelin?"  
"Good," Olivia stretched as much as she could, "Rested." She regarded Ed with a smile, "Want to trade places? You look exhausted."

"I do?"

"Yes. Or, maybe it's just that you have a beard."

Ed grinned, "You like it?"

"I don't know," Olivia murmured and took a seat next to Ed, "It might take some getting used to."

Taking her hint, Ed replied, "I'll shave before we go see Wyatt tomorrow," he checked the time, and seeing it was after midnight, he added, "Er…today."

"Do you want me to stay with Maggie and Noah?" Brooke asked hopefully.

"We don't want to kill your Saturday," Olivia said.

"I don't mind," Brooke insisted, "I haven't spent much time with her." Whenever Brooke visited the hospital, it always seemed Maggie was either being inspected by the doctors or being held by someone else. When Caroline was there, she usurped the honor of cradling her new granddaughter and refused to let her go until Sarah threatened to make her take the train back home to Riverdale.

"Well, it'll just be for a few hours," Ed said, "One of us can come home and relieve ya."

"I really don't mind. I'll stay all day if you need me to."

"Okay," Olivia agreed, "Thank you."

Brooke grinned, "Totally my pleasure. I guess..I guess I'll go home and get some sleep. What time do you want me here?"

"We'll go around nine or ten."

"Okay." She stood up, "Where am I putting this girl? She's sound asleep."

Olivia took Maggie and Brooke left for home, the apartment she, Sarah, and Sonny would only share for another week or so.

"Okay, Daddy," Olivia said, "You need sleep."

"I don't want to sleep."

"Yes. You do."

"Are you gonna sleep?"

"I'll try."

They went back to the bedroom and placed Maggie in the bassinet. Ed stripped down to boxers and climbed into bed. Olivia followed, covering them with the sheets and comforter, realizing that falling back asleep would not be so difficult.

"I love you, baby," Ed whispered, kissing the back of her head as he carefully slung an arm around her.

"I love you, too."

"Happy?"

"Yes, but I want Wyatt home." Tears welled in Olivia's eyes. Leaving the hospital with only one twin had been heart-wrenching, and Olivia couldn't quite bring herself to be completely content or allow herself to fully enjoy mothering Maggie until their family was all under the same roof.

"Today," Ed said, his lips brushing her neck, "I think today's the day."

…..

"I. Am. So. Jealous."

Sarah frowned and stomped around the kitchen early Saturday morning. She was already dressed and prepped for today's outing, but hearing that Brooke was spending an entire day cuddling their new sister made her bubble with envy.

"This isn't the last time they'll need a babysitter."

"I _knowww_. But I read it's important to bond early with babies."

"It's one day."

Sarah grabbed her phone. "I'm telling Daddy I'm taking tomorrow."

"What if they don't need us tomorrow?"

"They will." She finished the text and tossed the phone aside, "I seriously hope this girl is the one we hire because I simply cannot do this every weekend."

"You're going to brunch and giving her an office tour. That doesn't sound terribly difficult."

"It's _inconvenient_ ," Sarah whined, "Especially when you have newborns."

" _You_ don't have newborns. Liv and Dad do."

Sarah leaned over the island so their faces were merely inches apart. "Do you honestly think we're not going to be super involved in raising these children?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…they now have three kids. Two babies. Noey. They're going to need all the help they can get, and I intend to provide a lot of it." Sarah stiffened her jaw like she usually did when she fixated on a particular goal.

Brooke refrained from arguing. "Well, wish me luck."

"I'll try to stop by later, but I have a feeling I'm going to be explaining subway maps and neighborhoods all afternoon."

"She's from Nashville, not outer space."

"Not sure there's a huge difference."

….

One of the all-too-familiar nurses greeted Ed and Olivia with a wide smile when they entered the NICU. "Good morning!" She gushed. "Wyatt just finished a bottle, his third feeding with no apnea."

Olivia and Ed exchanged relieved but tentative smiles.

"Does this mean he can come home?" Olivia asked hopefully.

"It does," she replied. "We'll discharge him later this afternoon as long as he successfully feeds the rest of the day. I'll have them get started on the paperwork."

Olivia made a beeline for Wyatt's crib. He was pleasantly free from all wires and tubes, and he was sleeping so peacefully she almost felt guilty picking him up. "Hi my sweet baby boy," she said in a voice just above a whisper, pressing her face against his. "Mommy and Daddy are taking you home today."

Ed put his arm around Olivia's waist, kissed her cheek, and then kissed the top of Wyatt's head. "Such a relief," he murmured.

"Our house isn't complete without you, Wyatt," Olivia said, her voice trembling.

Ed kept them close. "Little warrior," he said proudly. Olivia turned around and Ed wiped her teardrops with his thumb. "Hey," he whispered and lightly kissed her lips. "Everything's okay now, Liv."

"He's coming home," she said as if saying the words was necessary to make them true.

"Yep," Ed caressed Wyatt's head. "Hey, I gotta get his car seat. We didn't bring it."

Olivia swayed, keeping her head in contact with Wyatt. "Okay." She sounded distant, in her own little world, "Daddy's going to get your car seat, baby boy. Then you'll come home with us and see Noah and Maggie and Brookey."

Ed pecked at her cheek. "I'll be back in a little bit."

The contact snapped Olivia back to reality. "Will you bring the outfit I put on his bed? It has dinosaurs on it? Noah picked it out."

"Sure." Ed smoothed her hair and pulled her close again. "I told you it would happen today," he whispered.

Olivia leaned into him. "Yes you did."

"Dinner for five tonight."

"I like that," Olivia replied with a serene smile, "Dinner for five."

…

The Tuckers had no shortage of baby clothes. They were crammed into the matching bureaus in the twins' room and piled in shopping bags that Olivia hadn't gotten around to unpacking quite yet. Brooke chuckled to herself as she waded through Maggie's sleepwear, the majority of which had been purchased by Sarah and was overwhelmingly pink. The morning unfolded smoothly with the exception of a diaper blowout which had sent Noah running for his room screaming, "Ewwww! Poopy diaper!" Other than that, Noah was extremely interested in Maggie's care and expertly suggested a bottle or a pacifier when she got fussy.

Now that Maggie was cleaned up and in a fresh diaper, Brooke wrestled her squirming body into a pink-and-white striped sleeper. She moved a lot, even when she was sleeping, and Brooke kept a hand on her at all times, not trusting the low sides of the changing table.

"There ya go," Brooke cooed, fastening the final snap. "All set, pretty girl!" She was on her way back to the living room where Noah was watching cartoons when the alarm beeped and Ed entered. He explained about the unexpected discharge, grabbed the car seat and Noah, kissed Maggie, and left.

Brooke turned off the television and snuggled on the couch with her sister. After months of rollercoaster emotions, she was finally at peace with the decision to expand the Tucker family. Actually, she was more than at peace. She was enamored with her new sister and brother, dizzy with affection, and horrified that she had been so critical and skeptical at various points in the past several months.

"I love you, Maggie," she said, running her fingers over the soft wisps of dark brown hair on her head. "You're so perfect." Maggie puckered her lips as if she understood the compliment and it embarrassed her. Sarah had been right all along. Brooke smiled and shook her head in shame. "I'll do anything for you, baby girl. _Anything_. Your sis Brookey loves you so very much."

Brooke played with her tiny fingers and joked, "Even if you do look exactly like Sarah."

….

Later that night, Ed, Olivia, and Noah hung out in the big bed with Maggie and Wyatt. They watched a movie on their little-used flat-screen television and took turns cuddling the twins. For most of the film, Noah was propped against Ed's side with one arm around Wyatt who was getting a lot of attention from his big brother on his first night at home. In the car, Noah narrated their travels from his own big boy car seat, and he protectively "helped" Ed carry the baby seat when they rode the elevator to their floor. When Brooke held him he reminded her to "hold da head" and he sweetly tucked a blanket around his brother.

"Dis da best blankie," Noah said softly. "It have trains on it and only for da boys!"

Noah and Wyatt were now sharing the train blanket. Maggie was sleeping on Ed's chest and Olivia was on Wyatt's other side. She held her infant son's hand, and, preferring to observe her perfectly content family, did not keep a consistent eye on the movie and didn't think twice about interrupting the dialogue with her own commentary.

"Wyatt loves you, sweet Noah. He loves being next to his big brother."

"I love little bruvver," Noah said seriously. "He my best friend."

Olivia smiled and ran her fingers through Noah's hair. "Is he?"

"Yep," Noah replied matter-of-factly. "Mommy?"

"Yes, sweet boy?"

"When baby bruvver gonna wake up?"

"Probably in an hour or so."

"Babies sleep a _lot_."

"Yeah, they do. It's hard work being born."

Noah turned and saw Ed's eyes drooping. "Daddy tired, too!"

Ed smiled but made no move to open his eyes any wider, "Mags and I are takin' a little snooze."

"Mags," Noah giggled and reached up to lightly rub Maggie's back. "She best friend, too!"

"Wow," Olivia gushed, "You have _two_ best friends. Right here in our house."

"Uh-huh! And Sare bear! And Brookey!"

"Yes," Olivia said, trying to fight happy tears so she didn't worry Noah, "We're so lucky we have all these best friends!"

"Yep!" Noah yawned.

"Are you about ready for stories, sweet boy?"

"We read 'em in here?"

"Sure. Let's go pick them out."

"Kay." Noah sat up, careful not to disturb Wyatt. "I be right back baby bruvver," he whispered. "Wiff da books. You stay here wiff Daddy."

With one arm and in one motion, Ed scooped Wyatt onto his chest next to Maggie.

"Mommy, lookit!" Noah exclaimed, "Daddy got _two_ babies on him!"

"He sure does," Olivia said with a simper. "Isn't Daddy so great?"

"Mommy's great," Ed mumbled before Noah could respond.

Noah marched to his room chanting the word "great" over and over again. Olivia followed and watched as he made his selections. She asked if he preferred reading the stories in the rocking chair, just the two of them, but Noah insisted on returning to the master bedroom to read with Ed and the babies. Olivia snuggled with Noah and read the three books while Ed dozed with the sleeping twins.

"Mommy, da babies sleepin here?"

"We'll put them in the bassinet," Olivia pointed to the identical beds, only one of which was being used since the twins were co-sleeping for the time being.

"I sleep here, too? Wiff you and Daddy and small sister and bruvver?"

"Sweet boy," Olivia kissed his head, "The babies are going to cry and wake us up in the middle of the night. They'll wake you up if you sleep in here."

"But I _wanna_!"

Olivia was too tired to argue. Even though she knew she may be opening an endlessly problematic can of worms, she relented. "Okay, sweet boy. Just for tonight, okay?"

"Kay."

Accurately predicting the twins would wake soon for a feeding, Olivia warmed bottles and they fed and changed the twins before placing them together in a single bassinet. Ed lifted Noah so he could kiss them goodnight and then he placed the four-year-old between he and Olivia, close enough so he could put an arm around both their bodies.

"I love you," Ed murmured.

"Luvvvyou, Daddy," Noah replied. "Now go to sleep."

…

 **Next: Sarah takes Olivia out for some fresh air, Brooke and Sonny move into their new place, and Ed and Noah try their hand at taking care of the babies for an afternoon!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Twenty-Two.**

The doorman gallantly held open the door for Sarah who never showed up to the Tucker apartment empty-handed. Today she toted fancy silver rattles for the babies and a package of Brio train extension track for Noah. She offered the burly man a sweet grin and he helped her through the mirrored lobby and into the elevator, pushing the correct button without a word. By now, this energetic blonde was a pleasantly familiar sight in the building and he knew exactly where she was going.

Having alerted them to her arrival, she expected the door to be unlocked so she recoiled with a groan when she tried to push it open. Seconds later, she heard Noah's voice and his unsuccessful attempts to turn the latch.

"Noey! It's me! Sarah! Let me in!"

"I'm tryin, Sare bear!" He said in a strained voice. "Daddy! Need help!"

Footsteps thudded down the corridor. The lock turned, and Noah opened the door with a flourish. "Hi, Sare bear! Have Wyatt right here!" Noah pointed up at Ed who was holding Wyatt to his shoulder one-handed.

"Well isn't that just adorable! Have we all been getting enough sleep?" Sarah entered the apartment in her usual fashion, sashaying and twirling until she finally dumped whatever it was she was carrying on the floor or, today, on the island.

"We're hangin' in there," Ed replied.

Sarah took Wyatt and held him up high. "Hey, there, goober!"

Noah cracked up and repeated "goober."

Ed lowered his voice, "I think Liv's goin' a little stir-crazy though. Glad you're getting her out of the house." The twins were almost three weeks old and other than short trips to the market, doctor, and periodic visits from the squad for SVU updates, Olivia hadn't had much contact with the outside world.

Sarah grinned. "Not quite ready to go out yet…the five of you?"

"Hasn't even crossed my mind," Ed replied, truly baffled that he had thought to suggest an outing for lunch or dinner. "It's really been a blur."

"So you haven't had much sleep. Are you sure you don't want me to just watch the kiddies and you can take a nap?"

"I'm good. Noah and I might catch some z's while you're gone. This one," Ed rubbed Wyatt's back, "Is gonna need to eat soon, I think. They're finally close to being on the same schedule. Being in the hospital kinda threw Wyatt off. Or maybe we threw Maggie off."

Sarah kissed the baby and rubbed his back. His train pajamas made her smile because she'd purchased them. Then again, she'd picked out most of their wardrobes. "He feels so heavy."

"They're both gaining a lot of weight. Doc was happy at the last appointment."

"Good," Sarah murmured, her lips still pressed against Wyatt's head. "Where's Livvie?"

"She'll be right out."

"Where's Mags?"

"Over here, Sare bear!" Noah answered. He stood in front of Maggie who was curled up in her swing seat. "This thing," he kicked the seat lightly with his bare foot, "supposed to rock, but it's not workin!"

"You need to turn it on," Sarah said.

Ed came over and turned the dial. "It goes so fast," he remarked, "Even on the lowest setting. I feel like they're gonna fly outta there."

Sarah laughed and gave her Dad a playful slap on the back. "Oh, Daddy." Sarah watched Maggie swing from side to side, strapped in her futuristic-looking pod. "She's got her seat belt on." _But it is going kinda fast_.

"Yeah, but she's so little."

"Just pack some blankets around her."

"That's what Liv said. I still don't feel comfortable."

Sarah moved on to other topics. She'd been busy in the past week and hadn't had much free time to spend bonding with her new brother and sister. Additionally, she had been helping Brooke and Sonny gradually move into their new apartment while also taking the new girl from Nashville under her wing. Since she'd last been in the Tucker apartment, the number of baby items had multiplied exponentially. Receiving blankets were tossed over every armrest. Clean bottles rested on their drying spools near the sink. Pacifiers littered every flat surface. One of the built-in shelves had become a wipe and diaper storage area. New framed pictures had appeared. Sarah picked up one of them and studied it. Ed and Olivia sat on the couch, their bodies flush with one another. She held Maggie. He held Wyatt. Noah was wedged between them, standing, one arm around Mommy and the other around Daddy. His proud smile boasted, _look at my family_!

"When exactly are we going to take one of these with the _entire_ family?" Sarah squinted her eyes at Ed.

"Whenever we're all together again."

"Oh," Sarah replied, "That was easy. You always look at me weird when I suggest family pictures."

"I do not."

"Yes you do. Doesn't he, Noey?"

"Yep!" Noah said without asking what exactly he was agreeing to.

Noise from the back hallway signaled Olivia's imminent arrival. Ed held his arms out and wiggled his fingers. "Gimme my kid."

…

Olivia and Sarah started out with no particular destination in mind. The late May day offered temperatures in the mid-seventies and partly cloudy skies, perfect for strolling the New York streets. They walked north along Sixth Avenue for a few blocks. Sarah asked whether Olivia preferred to go toward the river or the park, and she chose the park, mentioning a few places to stop for a coffee and a snack along the way.

"Can you drink yet?"

"Sure," Olivia replied, "But I'm a little nervous, breastfeeding and all, I have to be extremely careful."

Sarah grabbed Olivia's forearm. "Does it hurt?"

"Not drinking?" Olivia joked.

"No," Sarah said as if she thought Olivia was being serious, "Breastfeeding. She clutched one of her own breasts over her oversized plaid shirt, "It seems…so… _ouch_."

"To be honest…I didn't think I'd like it," Olivia said, hinting that she felt a little guilty about the admission, "But all the articles were right, it's truly a bonding experience. Very special."

"Do you feed them both at once?" Sarah asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes. But, I've only done it a few times. When they want to eat at the same time, your Dad usually gives one a bottle. We alternate."

Sarah heaved a gigantic sigh, doubled over as she walked, and took a couple of long, stomping strides. "I'm. So. In. Love."

"Me too."

Sarah was clutching Olivia's arm now with both hands, slowing their gait, but neither woman seemed to care.

"How are things at work?" Olivia asked.

"Good. Working on another merger."

"The new hire working out?"

"She is," Sarah replied, "I was a little skeptical at first because she came from a really small firm in Nashville that had never had any international business, but she actually worked here in New York before, so I haven't had to do as much hand-holding as I thought. Guess I should've paid closer attention to her resume. How are things at _your_ work?"

"They've caught a couple of complicated cases. I've just been reading reports and getting updates over the phone."

"Do you miss it?"

"A little. It's part of me. I think I'll go back sooner rather than later…I'm not sure how your Dad's going to react to that."

" _Ohhhh_ ," Sarah was flattered Olivia chose to confide in her, "Well, I don't see the problem, if you're feeling good and everything. Daddy surely doesn't expect you to stay home and be, like, this nineteenth century housewife…does he?"

"Of course not. If anything, he'll end up being the nineteenth century housewife."

Sarah giggled. "Has he given any more thought to retiring or going part time?"

"I don't think he's thought about anything other than diapers and bottles since they were born, but I know that's a possibility."

"Livvie, you and Daddy really need to go out on a date soon. Don't lose your original connection."

Olivia leaned her head into Sarah's and wondered when the young woman got so wise. "Original connection," she repeated softly. "Good point. I'll mention it to him."

Never one to remain serious for long, Sarah jested, "Even though, probably, the _dessert part_ will have to be rated PG…if ya know what I mean."

Olivia blushed but played along. "Yeah, still a ways away from anything terribly exciting."

"Well, when the time comes, I'll totally take all three of them for the night. _Gawwwwwwd_. I can't wait."

Olivia rolled her eyes good naturedly. Time to change the subject. "Maybe we should bring some lunch to Brooke and Sonny?"

"Great idea." Sarah peeled herself away from Olivia and pulled out her phone. "Put some clothes on, people," she dictated as she typed, "Livvie and I are invading."

…

"Okay, bud. Whaddya wanna do?"

Noah scrunched up his face. "Let's play with 'em!"

Ed couldn't help but feel a little bad for Noah. He was desperate to play with his new brother and sister and seemed to wake every morning with the hope that this was the day they would actually do something other than sleep, cry, and eat.

"Well, let's start playin' something and we'll kinda talk them through it."

Noah readily agreed. "We have new trains from Sare bear. Let's get em out!"

"Sure, bud. You get the box, I'll get Wyatt and Maggie." Ed carried a baby in each of his muscular arms. Olivia dressed Wyatt in the train pajamas and Maggie in a fuzzy, pale yellow set for a change. Even though they were too young to actually interact with the play mat, Ed put them on it anyway. Two intersecting arches hovered over the twins and various rings and rattles hung down within their reach if they happened to fidget just right. Instead of unpacking his new track, Noah laid on his stomach and helped the half-awake twins swat at the accessories.

"There ya go, Wyatt! That's how ya do it!"

"C'mon, Mags! You, too. Uh-oh. Don't cry baby. Here. Have your paci."

Ed observed all of this with pride. Noah was a natural. He predicted the boy would quickly get too rambunctious with his new siblings, but, so far, that fear was unfounded. Even the "swats" were the gentlest taps, and when he popped the pacifier in Maggie's mouth, he applied just enough force so that it stayed in her mouth. Surreptitiously, Ed snapped a picture to show Olivia later; he imagined her swelling with pride at her protective and tender older son because Ed was about ready to burst. Only when Wyatt and Maggie both drifted back to sleep did Noah finally focus on his trains.

Playing trains with Noah didn't involve a lot of heavy lifting. He invited whoever was with him to help deconstruct the track, but when he put it back together he operated with a particular mental picture in mind and did most of the work himself, assigning small, specific jobs to the playmate. This time, Ed was tasked with arranging accessories—trees and small buildings—while Noah snapped the wooden pieces into place.

This arrangement left plenty of time for Ed to exchange messages with Olivia.

 _We're good._

 _They're asleep, we're in Noah's room._

 _Tell Brooke and Sonny hello for us._

 _I'm about to make lunch. Have fun._

Her inquiries tapered off after she and Sarah arrived at Brooke's with a bottle of wine and take out. They relocated to the kitchen. Ed put the babies in their swing seats and fixed sandwiches which he and Noah ate at the island.

"When Maggie and Wyatt gonna eat dis food?"

"Not for a while, bud."

"Wyatt and Maggie," Noah called over to his siblings, "You haveta have bottles! No sand-wich for ya yet!" He turned back to Ed. "I telled 'em, Daddy."

"You sure did, bud. I bet, when they're old enough to eat sandwiches, they'll want you to help 'em eat."

"Yep!"

Ed watched Noah happily munch on his food. The little boy had adjusted so well to the babies that he wondered if it was a fluke, a temporary utopia that would ultimately crumble into bitter sibling rivalry. The question had been on his mind since Maggie came home, but he hadn't mentioned it to Olivia.

"Hey, bud, you think, tomorrow, you want to go to the park and throw the football? Or kick the soccer ball? You're gonna start soccer again soon."

Noah pondered the options. "We take da babies?"

"Well, I was thinkin' it could just be you and me. Mommy will stay with the babies." Consternation filled Noah's face. "Sometimes, bud, we're gonna do things, just you and me. The big guys," he added encouragingly.

Concern changed to interest. "Like go to da pub?"

"Yeah. We'll make the pub a special place, just for us big guys."

"Yeah," Noah said, slowly getting on board with this arrangement, "Cause they don't have bottles there!"

"No, they don't." Ed swung Noah into his arms for a bear hug. "I love you, bud. You're the best son and brother. I'm so proud of you."

Noah, squeezed against Ed's chest, let out a muffled laugh and squirmed to get free. "Gotta run the trains now, Daddy!"

"Oh, yeah," Ed let him go, "Sorry bud."

"That okay. You hug da babies now and I drive da trains."

…

Neatly labeled moving boxes lined the walls of the newly-purchased loft. Brooke and Sonny proudly led Sarah and Olivia on the grand tour, pointing out places they'd already improved with paint or new window treatments. Their furniture arrived that morning, and tonight would be their first official sleep in the new digs. It was also the first night in a long time Sarah would spend on her own, but she kept quiet about that and let her sister bask in new-homeowner glory.

"I love how modern it is," Sarah said, "I guess I like modern….I never know. When I watch _Fixer Upper_ I always think I like Joanna's style. Maybe I should move to Texas."

Brooke ignored Sarah's nonsensical plans to relocate to the Lone Star State. "It's definitely different than I've ever had. I've always lived in the pre-war buildings and they weren't renovated. I mean, Daddy's apartment is nice, but it's kinda closed off."

Olivia spun around in a slow circle, "And these ceilings, they're so nice and high and the windows are huge. I love the light. And the exposed brick."

"So," Sarah said, clapping her hands, "Let's plan the housewarming party. I planned Livvie's and it was great, so I can be trusted."

"Hold off on that," Sonny interjected, "At least let us unpack first. And, we need to buy a few things. Like a couch. Maybe a coffee table?"

So far, the only seating in the loft were four barstools.

"We'll get that stuff piece by piece," Brooke said.

"In the meantime, there's the bed!" Sarah gleefully exclaimed.

Brooke and Sonny exchanged shy smiles. "Can we please eat now?" Brooke asked. "I'm starving. Son. One thing we need to do today is stock the kitchen."

"Yeah," he agreed, "We'll take the car, go to Costco or something? That can be like, something we do once a month."

"Look at you two," Sarah gushed, "With all these new traditions. Omigod, omigod, omigod, can you imagine this place at Christmas? The tree," she ran over to the largest of the windows, "should go right here."

Olivia started picking at her salad. Her thoughts wandered to Christmas and all the other Christmases she and Ed shared together. Each holiday came with its own milestone and this year would be no different. They would dress the twins and Noah in matching outfits and take cheesy pictures around the tree. At get-togethers, babies would be passed around among their friends and family. Noah would watch protectively and, in his delightfully bossy way, direct each person on how exactly to hold his brother and sister.

"Lieu, no pressure, but we sure do miss you," Carisi said.

Lost in her daydream, Olivia missed the first part of the conversation, "Oh?"

"Fin and Rollins, they're doin' a good job leading the way, but it's not the same. You steady us."

"Won't be long," Olivia said, "I'll start coming in soon, gradually, get my bearings back."

"Are you going to hire a nanny when you and Dad go back to work?" Brooke asked.

"I wonder," Sarah said, "If I could be the nanny and work. My office is big enough for the pack and play and toys. I could work from home half time and go to the office the other half. Wouldn't that be _a-dor-a-ble_?"

Nobody took her seriously although Olivia did give her a grateful side hug.

"The one time we talked about a nanny, Ed didn't seem too thrilled, but I don't see how we could go without one."

"Day care?" Sonny asked.

"Day care would work," Olivia replied, "But if we both have to be gone nights we'll need someone who's available round-the-clock." She shrugged, "We'll figure it out. We have time."

"Damn." Sonny looked at his phone. "I have to go."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "What's going on?"

"Another frat party gone awry," Carisi reported, "Fin's the only one there so we're headed up to Hudson. Saturday afternoon."

Sonny took a final, hasty bite, kissed Brooke, and hustled from the loft. The girls resumed their chatter. Olivia joined in sporadically all the while wishing she could've joined Carisi on the call.

…

Ed hurriedly yet delicately put a howling Wyatt and a screaming Maggie in their swing seats. Up until now, he and Noah handled baby care without crisis. Noah handed over diapers and wipes, and giggled and patiently replaced the pacifiers when they fell out of his brother's or his sister's mouth. He was in the middle of drawing their portraits when Maggie started to cry. Wyatt soon followed with his own whimpers which quickly matched the intensity of his sister's piercing shrieks.

"Alright, bud. Let's put 'em in their chairs and I'll get the bottles ready."

"Kay Daddy! I carry Wyatt?"

"No, bud. Remember? You can hold them, but you gotta wait til you're a little bigger to carry them around, right?"

"Right!" Noah watched as Ed deftly scooped the infants, and followed him into the living room. "You strong, Daddy!"

Noah's compliment only contributed to the cacophony. Ed buckled the straps and peered down at the babies' bright pink, scrunched up faces.

"Daddy! Get da bottles!" Noah urgently commanded.

"On it, bud."

Noah stood over the seats, hands on his knees, and tried to coax Wyatt and Maggie into silence. "Bottles comin' babies! S'okay!"

In the kitchen, Ed fumbled one bottle onto the floor and uttered a frustrated, "dammit," which Noah somehow heard, and followed with a reminder that he'd used a bad word. Ed filled a second bottle, refilled a third, dropped them into the warmer, and waited impatiently.

The cries now came in demanding, shrill bursts. Out of ideas, Noah scampered over to Ed's side. "They really hungry, Daddy!"

After an interminable wait, the warmer beeped. Ed tightened the lids.

"Alright, kiddos, let's eat."

"Here they come, babies!"

Ed started with Maggie first. She quickly calmed down, and Ed used his other hand to wrestle the bottle into Wyatt's mouth, jiggling it against the infant's gums so he realized his food was there.

"No, wanna hold one of the bottles?" Ed asked once they were both content.

"Uh-huh! I hold Maggie's dis time!" Noah ran around to the side of Maggies seat, and took over Ed's hold on the bottle. He lovingly caressed her head with his other hand. "Good baby," he cooed, "Dat milk yummy, huh, Mags?"

Ed wanted to hold Wyatt as he ate, but he knew Noah would ask to be set up on the couch with Maggie, so he remained seated on the floor. Wyatt ate faster than his sister, so after he burped, Noah and Ed traded places.

Feeding time over, Ed rinsed the empty bottles and left them in the sink. Noah tiptoed away from the seats and back to Ed's side.

"Those babies sleepin again!" He reported in a whisper.

"Yep," Ed replied, his voice hushed, "They ate and now they're happy. Good job, bud. We make a good team."

Ed held out his hand and Noah slapped it excitedly.

"Wanna watch the baseball game for a little bit, No?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah opened a low drawer reserved just for him and rummaged around for a snack. "I have dese?" He held up a small bag of pretzels.

"No, bud," Ed opened the refrigerator and took out a jar of queso dip, a bottle of beer, and a can of Sprite, "How about we give ourselves a little treat? Get the blue bag outta the pantry."

Noah opened the pantry door and used the step stool to grab the tortilla chips. Ed heated the queso, opened the drinks, and carried everything to the coffee table. He and Noah gorged on the junk food and watched the game, volume low, until they both eventually dozed off.

…

Olivia and Sarah left Brooke and Sonny to their unpacking and organizing. Predictably, once Sarah had a glass of wine she was eager for more and begged Olivia to join her at a bar before she went home. Feeling energized but anxious to get home to her babies, Olivia declined. Sarah mentioned something about inviting the new employee from Nashville and brightened when the young woman accepted.

"Kiss everyone for me," Sarah instructed when they reached a point where they needed to verge in opposite directions. "See you tomorrow for church." Sarah always parted with those words on a Saturday; she had no intention of showing up at mass the following morning.

Olivia grinned and continued the few blocks solo, walking more quickly than she had been with Sarah, excited to see the rest of her family and hear about their day together. Ed kept in touch via his texts, but they were few and far between.

She heard Noah talking to Ed when she entered. They were at the dining table playing Trouble. Maggie and Wyatt "observed" from their bouncy seats which Ed had placed on top of the table. Ed was drinking his second beer and Noah sipped from a blue hard plastic cup which concealed its contents.

"Hi guys," Olivia cooed sweetly. The weightiness of the day radiated from Ed as he laid his head against her side. She cupped his cheek lovingly, "Everything go okay?"

"It go GREAT!" Noah replied as he popped the bubble. "One, two, three, FOUR! I get FOUR!" He jangled his pegs across the board.

Olivia kissed the top of her husband's head. "Well, that's good to hear."

Ed smiled up at her and she gave him another kiss, this one on the lips.

"Mmmm. Beer."

"Wanna sip?" He asked.

"No, I'm good."

"Wanna play, Mommy?"

"Sure." Before sitting down, Olivia doted on the babies and picked up Maggie. "C'mere, sweet girl."

Since Ed and Noah weren't exactly following the Trouble rules anyway, Olivia picked up a set of pegs and started playing even though they weren't finished. Between turns she gazed at Maggie and kept her free hand on Ed's thigh. Occasionally, he shot her a glance out of the corner of his eye, particularly when her grip tightened or when she moved her hand away and then replaced it a little higher than it had been before.

"Noah, were Maggie and Wyatt good?" Olivia asked with exaggerated curiosity. "Was Daddy good?"

Noah giggled at having to assess his father's behavior. "Uh-huh! Maggie and Wyatt cry, but we just gave 'em a bottle! Now dey sleepin!"

"You did such a good job," Olivia complimented, "And so did Daddy." She leaned over and kissed Ed for a third time since she'd been home. "I love you."

"Ta-morrow me an' Daddy goin to da park! And da pub! Just the big guys!"

Ed looked apologetically at Olivia. "If that's okay with you," he said.

"Of course."

The three of them wrapped up the game. Olivia prepared a simple pasta dinner and they lounged on the couch until it was time for Noah's bath, stories, and bedtime. Ed handled the bath and Olivia read him his books. She sent him into the living room to kiss everyone goodnight and then tucked him in bed with Bernie.

"I love you so much, sweet Noah. Thank you for helping Daddy with the babies today. You're the best big brother in the world."

"We in Ma'hattan, Mommy."

"Well, you're the best big brother in Manhattan, too."

His mouth formed a languid smile, "Mommy, you sleep wiff da babies?"

"Yeah. For a little while longer. Then they'll sleep in their room in the cribs you and Daddy built."

"I sleep in my bed."

"Yes, sweet boy." She kissed the side of his head. "I'll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams."

….

Ed held up the empty bottle and marveled at how quickly Wyatt had consumed the milk. Whenever he stopped the feeding to let him burp, Wyatt fussed, wanting more food. Ed was sure Wyatt would weigh in heavier than Maggie at their next appointment. He seemed to be hitting a growth spurt of some sorts.

"Is that possible?" Ed asked Olivia. "At three weeks? Isn't that something teenagers do?"

"I think I read somewhere that around three or four weeks a significant weight gain occurs a lot of the time."

Ed regarded her proudly and eyed the stack of parenting books and magazines resting precariously on the edge of her nightstand. If she said she read something somewhere, he believed her wholeheartedly.

"What?" She asked, feeling the heat of his scrutiny.

"Nothin."

"Sure," Olivia retorted sarcastically and shimmied herself off the bed so she could walk the room with Maggie.

Ed never took his eyes off her as she moved around and finally paused at the window to take in the twinkling lights of the Manhattan night. Motherhood suited Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker. He knew this from the moment he first saw her with Noah. Actually, he knew it before then. On the rare occasion that he saw her with a victim, he always admired her ability to be empathetic and compassionate even under the most distressing and disturbing circumstances, characteristics that manifested in her personal life as well.

If he were to be honest with himself, having the twins at home plus Noah had been challenging. At times, they were barely keeping their heads above water. Moments like these, however, made the sleepless nights and rousing rounds of hungry infant shrieks more than worthwhile. Olivia's cheeks were flushed with pride and happiness and she pressed her lips to Maggie's head, repeatedly giving her light kisses as they swayed together. Ed copied those kisses on Wyatt while still watching his girls. One of Wyatt's fists flailed a little in response and he stuck his little tongue out.

"You didn't tell me anything about what you did today," Ed fretted a bit about ruining the serene moment with conversation, but he wanted to talk to his wife. He loved talking to her.

"We walked, had coffee, took lunch to Brooke and Sonny. That loft is amazing, by the way."

"Yeah it is." Ed had helped move some items the day after they closed. "Can't believe they pulled off buying it. I didn't know Sonny had all that cash. Brooke didn't either."

"Let's make it a point to set up accounts for these two," Olivia said, "While we're at home and have all this time."

"Good idea. Haven't…haven't really thought about that part quite yet."

Olivia put Maggie in the bassinet and motioned for Ed to pass Wyatt to her. She adjusted their blankets and crawled toward Ed from the opposite end of the mattress. "What have you been thinking about, Captain?" She purred seductively, slithering on top of him.

"Us," he replied without a second thought. "All of us."

"You look exhausted."

"You don't. You look beautiful."

"You were home with two newborns and a four-year-old all day. I kept waiting for you to tell me to come home."

"You know I wouldn't do that," Ed played with her hair which was hanging down past her chin as she hovered over him, "At least, not when you're out enjoying yourself."

She dipped her head down to kiss him, "Seriously. You were okay?"

"Yeah. Noah helped a lot, too, just a challenge with two of 'em when they're both crying, wanting to be held. I _hate_ them crying for too long."

"It's the only way they can get what they want," Olivia kissed him again. This time she lingered on his lips a bit longer and smiled against him when she felt his hands splayed on the small of her back. "Mmmm. Speaking of wanting. I _want_ you."

" _Liv_ ," Ed gasped as she let her body fall onto his and he felt stirrings of arousal. "It's…too early."

"I _know_ ," she practically whined. "But…" she let her actions do the talking and slid her hand inside his sweatpants, teasing just below the elastic and causing him to buck his hips against her.

" _Liv_ ," Ed gasped again, a little raspier than last time.

"Shhhh." She opened her mouth wide and descended upon him. They kissed passionately, almost violently, for several minutes. Ed grew harder and harder and Olivia rotated her hips at an agonizingly slow, seductive pace.

He slowed down the kiss and moaned into her mouth, keeping his hands on her back, not sure which parts of her body were within and off limits. Olivia moved off to the side so she could reach deeper into his pants.

"Liv, the babies," he croaked. She was stroking him lightly now and nibbling at his collarbone.

"They're asleep."

"I know." He inhaled deeply, only able to say a couple of words at a time. Olivia was intensifying her speed and her grip on him. "But." Deep breath. "Isn't it." Gasp. "Alittlewrong?"

"No." She kissed his mouth. "Now relax."

…

Sarah returned home around midnight in a fog of wine, gin-and-tonics, and very little food. She and the Nashville girl hit it off surprisingly well and what began as a meeting for a quick drink ended up lasting several hours. She collapsed on the couch, glad to be buzzed up. This way, she didn't miss Sonny and Brooke so much.

She flipped through television channels until she came across a movie that was familiar to her from long ago. The plot revolved around a self-involved protagonist who all of a sudden gained custody of a young child. Satisfied she could fall asleep to the sounds of this film, Sarah poured herself a glass of water, grabbed a bag of goldfish, and returned to the couch.

She managed to stay awake for most of the movie, and, by the time her eyelids drooped and she was no longer able to fight sleep, she had a gigantic smile on her face.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod," she whispered to herself, checking the time to make sure it actually was too late to call her Dad and Olivia. She would have to wait to present her idea. Well, it was really an offer. She hoped they would accept, or, at least, agree to think about it. Overcome with fatigue, she curled up on the couch with a throw blanket and fell asleep, planning to bring bagels and coffee to the Tucker apartment first thing the next morning.

…

 **What is Sare bear thinking?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Twenty-Three (Mid-July, 2018)**

It was hot.

The type of hot that required full-blast air-conditioning when indoors and a slow, languid pace when traversing New York's streets. Only, New Yorkers did not move at slow, languid paces. Sweat-drenched commuters fanned themselves on the subway platforms while looking desperately down the dark tunnels for the arrival of the air-conditioned cars which, depending on the time of day and the popularity of the line, might not be all that more comfortable.

Olivia brushed damp strands of hair off to the side of her face and thanked the doorman as she pushed her double stroller through their building's glass doors. She was immediately hit by a welcome cool blast of air. In the elevator she fanned her shirt and talked to her now two-month old infants. "We are boiling, aren't we, sweet twins? It's _hot_ in the city!"

Maggie smiled and gurgled. Wyatt gazed back at her with his regular placid, content expression. Both their little arms and legs wiggled in the air. Considering the stifling heat, she had graciously dressed Maggie in a pale yellow sundress and Wyatt in a pair of cotton shorts and a Yankees tank top. The sleeveless attire accentuated their growing bodies—Wyatt's arms and legs were pudgy and deliciously full of baby fat. Maggie was slender and looked longer than her brother even though he measured in at a quarter-inch taller at their last appointment. Despite being premature, they were both in the average range on the growth charts and were developing at the expected pace.

Sarah and Brooke, however, disagreed. The two older sisters insisted the babies and Noah were exceptionally gifted.

 _"Noey makes better artwork than what I've seen being sold around this city!"_

 _"Look! When I tell Maggie to get the pink rattle, she grabs it! She knows colors!"_

 _"Wyatt already wants to stand. Look how strong his legs are!"_

She wheeled the twins into the apartment and left them in the stroller while she unloaded groceries and other items for the house. Tonight she and Ed were hosting a few guests for drinks and food. Olivia's time away from the job was winding down, and Ed had been going in to the office a few hours a day. Various acquaintances had stopped by for visits since the twins came home, but the Tuckers wanted to take an evening to officially show off their infants and thank their closest friends and family members for being so supportive.

Sarah was wrapping up at work. Brooke was on her way to Riverdale to pick up Caroline. Olivia wasn't quite sure where Ed was; he left for work early that morning and hadn't been in contact since. She figured it had something to do with the party, so she didn't bother him. Besides, she and the twins had had a terrific day.

Before Ed left, he got Noah ready for his day camp and offered to drop him off, but Olivia shooed him out and insisted she was fine taking him. They'd been parents of three young children for eight weeks, but each was still a little wary of leaving the other with total kid duty. Even when Ed had to run out for a quick errand, he took at least one child with him. Last night, when Olivia realized she was supposed to send Noah with a plain white t-shirt for the next day's tie-dying activity, Ed took both Maggie and Noah to purchase the item.

Maggie and Wyatt were beginning to get restless when Olivia noticed Sarah calling. Sarah almost never called, she was a serial texter, so Olivia answered right away.

"Hey, Sare."

"Livvie. Thank _gawwwwd_ you picked up."

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked, thinking there was something dreadfully awry in her world.

"Well, do you mind one more person at the party?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Olivia nodded and then realized she had to verbalize a response. "Of course not."

"Good. I want to invite my Nashville girl."

"You're still calling her your _Nashville girl_?"

"Yes."

"We'd be happy to have her."

"How are my babies?"

"Right now, wanting to eat."

"Then I better let you go."

"Bye Sare."

"Bye Livvie. And. Wait. Put the phone by the babies." Olivia did and she heard Sarah's faint voice call to them, "Hi Wyatt! Hi Mags! It's Sare bear! I loooooove you and I'll see you later!" Then she ended the call.

Olivia put the phone on the island and picked up Wyatt and then Maggie. "I won't be able to carry the two of you around much longer," she said, kissing their heads, "Hungry, sweethearts? C'mon. Let's eat and then you'll take a nap for Mommy. We have a lot of people coming over to see you later!"

She fed them both at once, babies propped and secured in their Boppies. As they ate she looked from one to another and thought out loud.

"You two...Mommy loves you so much…Daddy loves you so much…your big brother and sisters love you so much. Our little miracle babies. Someday we'll tell you the story. Mommy and Daddy, well, it took us a long time to _be_ your Mommy and Daddy. It's a funny story now, you're probably not going to believe it when we tell you. You're going to have such a good life, Maggie and Wyatt. Such a good life…"

…..

Barba wanted no part of holding either of the twins, so that was one less person vying for baby time. The ADA stayed close to Olivia, talking shop, sipping an old-fashioned mixed by Sarah, and updating her on the progression of the SVU cases she'd missed. They fell into their familiar, easy banter which made Olivia even more anxious to get back to her job. Admittedly, this urge caused her to wrestle with feelings of guilt. After all, time at the precinct would take away from time with her children, but she continually vowed to be reasonable with her hours. With a full squad, she could step back; however, this was easier said than done.

Over at the island, Sarah was in the process of coaxing Caroline into giving up Wyatt, but the older woman was parrying all attempts.

" _C'mon_ , Grandma! You can't hog him all day!"

"Time with my grandson is allocated on the basis of who sees him the least. You see him more than I do, therefore, I get more time."

Indignantly, Sarah retorted, "You have no job. You could come here every day. I, on the other hand, have a very demanding and time-consuming career which cuts into my baby time."

Caroline possessively wrapped both arms around Wyatt who took the attention in stride and smiled at Sarah. She spoke to him in her best baby-talk voice.

"Hi goober head. You wanna come to your Sare bear, don't you, handsome boy? Chunky monkey. You love your Sare bear, dontcha?" She peppered his cheeks with kisses and he squealed in delight.

Caroline whirled him away, "Don't eat him."

"But I wanna! He's so cute and fat! I just wanna eat him up."

Brooke grabbed Wyatt's thigh and defended him, "He's not fat! He's healthy!"

"Why don't you go bother Sonny?" Caroline suggested, "He's had Maggie forever."

Sarah looked over to the other side of the room where more guests, including Sonny, were huddled around the end of the dining table closest to the windows. "Nah," she said, "He's too adorable with Maggie. She's his favorite." Sarah nudged Brooke, "He's good with kids, Brookey, take note."

"One thing at a time," Brooke said with an air of mystery as she sipped her beer and proceeded to change the subject. "Nashville is getting along with everyone."

" _Hillary_ ," Sarah corrected, "I know I started all this Nashville business, but I think we should use her real name from now on. _Hillary_." Sarah chuckled, "I should've _known_ we'd be friends, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You're a snob," Caroline concluded.

Brooke doubled over with laughter, and Sarah shot daggers at Caroline. "I'm going to friendlier confines."

She marched over to Ed's side. He, Sonny, and Hillary were chatting about the possibility of another Subway Series since both the Yankees and the Mets were having strong seasons.

"I never really got into baseball when I lived here before," Hillary said, "The season's so long, but, I liked going to the games. Great atmosphere at both stadiums."

"I grew up in the Bronx, so we're Yankees people."

"Mets," Carisi said, "Mets all day."

Sarah scrunched up her face and added, "Yankees. Not by choice. By force. And, Hillary, we get tickets to both, all the time, _too much_ , if you ask me. So, we'll go sometime."

"Everything going well for you?" Ed asked Hillary.

"It is. I'm so happy to be back in the city…and to be making enough money to actually live in Manhattan is nice. I was in Brooklyn before, and I loved my neighborhood, but the commute was a killer."

"I bet."

"We may have to go to _Argentina_!" Sarah said excitedly. "We're representing a U.S. company that's trying to make inroads there. In fact, that's on my list of things to do next week. Get us to Buenos freaking Aires."

"Seems like, with Skype and Face Time, that you wouldn't need to travel," Sonny said, intentionally annoying Sarah who had not exactly been silent about her desire to leave the country for business.

"The Argentinians like to meet in person," Sarah retorted. "And you, Mister Detective Lawyer Sonny Carisi better behave or I won't bring you a souvenir."

Carisi held a hand up in surrender, "My apologies. Well, uh, I'm going to the little boy's room. Who wants the baby?"

"I'll take her if you don't mind," Hillary offered, speaking mostly to Sarah.

"Yes, yes," Sarah said, "Maggie, meet Hillary!"

Hillary expertly cradled the baby and ran her index finger along her cheek, "She's so precious. Her features are so delicate, she looks like a doll!"

"She looks like the Tuckers for sure," Sarah said, "Me in particular." She tugged at Maggie's dress which had ridden up above her diaper, "Let's fix this, Mags. You're not looking very ladylike at the moment."

"I told Liv that dresses for babies are a little silly," Ed pointed out.

Sarah looked at Ed incredulously, "Daddy! Little girls must _always_ wear dresses! Especially this little girl. Look at her. She's _made_ for dresses!"

A smirk crossed Ed's face, "I have a feeling she's gonna prefer a football uniform to a dress."

Sarah thought this was ridiculous. "Ha! No way. Cheerleader."

"We'll see."

"Hill, what do you think?" Sarah asked, wide-eyed.

Hillary gently rocked Maggie. She certainly did have doll-like features and crystal blue eyes. Her hands and feet were huge, portending above-average height, but there was also a fierceness about her—she constantly balled her hands into fists and swung her arms around. Her movements didn't seem rooted in discontent, it was more that Maggie wanted to _do something_ and her little body hadn't quite developed the muscular capacity for all she had planned.

"I think she can pretty much do anything she wants to do," Hillary replied, "So much potential. Sweet girl." Maggie smiled sweetly and let out a little squeal, melting Hillary's heart.

Everyone had been wrapped up in the moment and didn't notice the arrival of Noah who heard _sweet girl_.

"Dat's what Mommy say!" He exclaimed. "Sweet girl! Mags, you our sweet girl!"

"Yeah," Ed ran the backs of his fingers over her head, "She sure is."

…..

The party was winding down when a deliveryman arrived with an enormous mixed-flower bouquet. It was so large he had trouble holding the vase and extracting his machine for Ed to sign. Everyone looked up from their drinks and conversation in amazement as Ed made his way into the living room and placed the flowers on the island, obscuring much of the kitchen.

Noah knew exactly what was happening.

"Time for da box, Daddy?"

"Yep. Time for the box."

Noah disappeared into his bedroom and returned quickly with the item. Ed's eyes raked over the room. "Everyone have a drink? I have to make a toast before anyone leaves."

Brooke clutched Sonny's arm. Sarah shifted excitedly from foot-to-foot and whispered to Hillary, "I love _this_ part."

"You know what he's going to say?"

"No. But he has that look in his eye."

"Liv?" Ed waved his arm, summoning his wife to his side. "First of all, thank you for coming. Liv and I appreciated all the well-wishes and help and food…and we hope you'll continue to be a part of our kids' lives. But really, I want to toast my amazing wife." Despite this being a toast, he took both of Olivia's hands and faced her. "Liv, you…there really aren't words to describe how much I admire you. And I could tell you every day, every time we wake up and before we go to sleep and all the hours in between, but," he smiled sheepishly, "I know you'd get tired of it."

Olivia returned his bashful grin and scratched at her neck.

"I always knew you were extraordinary. _Always_. But seeing you as a mother, seeing you make me a father again, you…" Ed leaned in for a kiss to steady himself before continuing. He stayed only millimeters from her lips. "You are the most precious human being I've ever met, and I don't know how I can possibly deserve you…be this lucky…but I promise you and our kids that I will spend the rest of my life proving I'm worthy of you."

Sarah flailed her arms around and took deep breaths. Sonny hugged Brooke to him, loving the moment but also wondering how on Earth he was ever going to one-up Ed Tucker in the romance department.

Everyone else wore silly, almost uncomfortable grins. Most of them had been present at their wedding and witnessed the vows. They'd been privy to Ed Tucker toasts at Thanksgiving and for other parties, but witnessing this one, considering Wyatt and Maggie who were happily bouncing in the arms of Rollins and Caroline, seemed intrusive.

Ed predicted his words would be a bit too much for a public toast such as this, but he didn't care.

"Noah."

Even the jubilant four-year-old was a little thrown off by the sudden sentimentality. He snapped to attention.

"Let's give Mommy the box now."

"Here ya go, Mommy!"

Olivia gingerly removed the metallic gold paper.

"Noah and I picked this out a while ago."

Olivia lifted the cuff. It was the same metal, titanium, as her engagement and wedding rings and she held it up, giving it the once over, quickly recognizing the design.

"Our initials," she murmured.

"Yeah," Ed replied, "They managed to do a T design and incorporated the letters into the rest of it."

Sure enough, the letters flowed together in a pattern, forming the letters of their first names.

Noah was anxious to name the letters, so Ed picked him up.

"See! It have, N, E, O, S, M, B, and doub-el-you!"

"This is…wow…I've never seen anything like it."

"I've never seen anything like _you_."

Hearing this, Sarah practically collapsed into Hillary who muffled a grunt as she dutifully caught her boss. Around her family, Sarah Tucker sure seemed a lot younger than she did in the professional realm.

"My family," Sarah gushed, "My family, _fuck_ , I'm jealous of my own family!"

Nobody other than Hillary heard the profanity. Everyone else was huddled around Ed and Olivia, complimenting the bracelet and offering toasts of their own. Ed's toast and the gift injected new life into the party and even the most reluctant guest, Fin, stayed well into the evening.

"Where are you staying, Hillary?" Fin asked, eyeing Sarah who looked about ready to crash on the Tucker's sofa.

"The corporate apartment in the financial district for right now."

"I'll take ya."

"Thank you."

With the final guests gone, the seven Tuckers plus Carisi sat around the coffee table. Brooke was in the easy chair with Wyatt. Sonny sat at her feet holding Maggie. Sarah was draped across the chaise with one arm lazily around Noah, and Ed and Olivia were snuggled together on the opposite end of the sofa.

"Great party," Sonny remarked.

"Yeah it was," Olivia said breezily, still a little shell-shocked by her husband's words and his gift.

"It was good to see Amanda," Sarah mumbled.

"I wanted Barba to hold the twins," Carisi moaned.

"Yeah, that wasn't going to happen," Olivia replied. "The first and only time he held Noah…he acted like he was going to explode."

Sarah was collapsing further into a throw pillow. Ed nudged her. "Hillary was nice. Glad you brought her."

"She is," Sarah replied. "I like her. And it's nice to have a female ally…all those _men…gawwwwd,_ they're so irritating. Acting like they're all big and bad and smart and Hill and I have been doing all the work."

"Don't let 'em get away with that."

"Oh, we won't," Sarah said assuredly, "Don't you worry about that, Daddy."

Ed cleared his throat. "While we're all here, we have some other news."

Sarah shot up, "Omigod, Livvie, you're not pregnant again, are you?"

Even Noah rolled his eyes.

"No," Olivia replied politely.

"We rented a beach house…Bethany Beach, Delaware," Ed continued, "Closer than Kill Devil and there's room for all of us. Figured it'd be a nice getaway before we go back to work full time. You're all invited."

"When?" Brooke asked.

"First week in August."

"That's awesome, Dad! Thank you! We had so much fun the last time we were all at the beach together."

"Yeah we did."

"Hopefully I can join you," Sonny said.

Olivia smiled. "I think we can work that out."

Noah tapped Sarah's nose. "Sare bear, you snoring!"

"No I'm not," she retorted sleepily, her eyes closed.

"Uh-huh!"

"Probably bedtime for everybody," Olivia said.

Sonny held Maggie in a standing position and made faces at her. "I'm gonna hand ya over, Mags," he said. "Time for us to go home."

"I wanna take Maggie home," Sarah whined.

"No sleepovers yet," Ed grumbled, taking Maggie from Sonny while Olivia took Wyatt.

"I sleepover!" Noah exclaimed.

"Not tonight, bud."

Brooke yanked Sarah into a standing position. "Let's go, sister."

Noah grabbed Maggie's hand, made a waving motion, and said in a sugary sweet voice, "Small sister, say bye-bye to big sister!"

Sarah held Noah's cheeks with both hands, scrunching his face. "Noey. You are the sweetest, kindest, bestest boy in the whole world. Do not ever change."

"Sare bear!" His words were garbled, fighting through Sarah's grip, "You squishin' me again!"

…

Olivia and Ed made their nightly rounds through the apartment, turning off the main lights, leaving certain ones on, and prepping the early morning bottles. Maggie and Wyatt would sleep for a four or five hour stretch which was a welcome new development.

"You didn't tell Sarah and Brooke about the lawyer."

"Nah, didn't seem to be the right timing…all this celebration and end the night with death."

"It's not death," Olivia protested flirtatiously, slipping her arms around Ed's waist, "It's preparedness."

"Same thing."

"Ok, Captain. You win."

"Yeah?"

They kissed for a while in front of the window overlooking the city, both of them knowing this was a prelude to lovemaking but in no hurry to get to the bedroom.

A few weeks ago, Sarah presented her case for Ed and Olivia to name her as guardian to Noah, Wyatt, and Maggie in their will. At first, Ed was annoyed that she broached the subject, but Olivia convinced him that she was right. They needed a plan. Just in case. That was the smart, responsible thing to do. So, they met with an attorney and drew up a simple document which gave Sarah and Brooke custody of the Tucker kids in the event something horrible happened to their parents. The papers had been officially filed in probate court last week.

Olivia briefly drew herself away from the liplock and whispered, "The bracelet…it's so perfect."

"I kinda thought it was somethin' you would want."

Enamored, Olivia seductively deepened her voice, "What do _you_ want?"

Ed wasted no time answering. "I want to kiss every inch of your body."

"That all?"

"Then I want to make love to you."

"Anything else?"

"Then I want to feel you fall asleep in my arms."

"And then…?"

"Then it'll probably be time for me to get up and feed Wyatt and Maggie."

Olivia fell into him, laughing. With a smirk on his face, he took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	24. Chapter 24

**Twenty-Four.**

"So, it's this place called Bethany Beach I've never heard of…actually… I've never heard of much in Delaware. Except Dover. I know Dover. I know all the state capitals thanks to Mrs. Maul. Second grade. No. Third."

Hillary sipped her iced coffee and listened to Sarah's ramblings. It didn't take her long to determine this was the best course of action when conversing with the young and brilliant Miss Tucker.

"I've never been to Delaware. I guess, when you think of beaches, you don't really think of that state."

"You don't really think Delaware _is_ a state."

"Right."

Sarah scrutinized her beverage. "I can't believe I've never had one of these pink drinks before. Fucking good."

On the way in to Starbucks Sarah noticed someone with a pale, milky pink iced drink and inquired about it. The barista excitedly explained that it was a Strawberry Acai refresher with coconut milk, colloquially called the _pink drink_. Sarah ordered one and apparently was hooked.

"You know who else would like this?"

Hillary thought the question was rhetorical, but she was met with Sarah's inquisitive, wide-eyed stare.

"Who?"

"Noey."

"He seems like a real sweetheart." At the party, Noah immediately invited Hillary into his room to see his trains. Before Hillary could check with Sarah or Olivia or Ed for permission, Noah was already dragging her into his room, and he instructed her to run the green engine around the track.

"Blue," he explained, "Is mine. Red for Wyatt. Yellow for Brookey. Pink for Maggie."

"What about Sarah?" Hillary asked.

"Sare bear always try to take mine!" Noah exclaimed with a giggle.

Sarah sipped thoughtfully, "Noey and I…we really are soul mates, you know that? We connect. This one time, Daddy and Livvie went to the Keys, I stayed with him for a week, agh, it was so good. We went out for dinner almost every night and got all dressed up and he just played right along. He even got a manicure with me."

"He did?"

"Yep," Sarah replied proudly, "Sat there and enjoyed it, too. We need to do that again. You can come with." Sarah peered at her counterpart's nails, "Do you do your own?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I go and get them done…it's just…another thing to do."

"I know." Sarah rolled her eyes. "But I started getting mine done at lunch. I'll take you the next time I go."

"I've been having lunch a lot with Ben and Nathan."

Sarah's expression did nothing to hide her disapproval, "Be careful around them. They were the ones who wanted my job and they didn't get it."

"They seem…okay," Hillary said, suddenly worried she'd made a mistake by revealing her lunch routines.

"Oh they are, they're just not very good. We are."

Hillary nodded confidently. "So, how long will you be at the beach?"

"Oh, I'm driving down with Brooke and Sonny Monday morning and Sonny has to be back Thursday. So, I'll take the whole week. But _call me_ if something happens, I can Skype or Face Time in. No problem."

"Got it."

"I. Can't. Wait." Sarah gushed dramatically. "I haven't had a vacation in a while, and, like I said, the last time we were at the beach all together, it was so perfect. Except for my ex-husband. But he was perfect _then_."

Laughing nervously, Hillary dared to inquire further. "How long were you married?"

"Not even a year. We…well, my Dad said it best, I got married because I thought I had to. Before I knew it I was knee deep in showers and parties and had that fucking dress on and I knew it wasn't going to work."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So. Lesson learned. I don't know if I'll ever be married again. I didn't like it."

"Why not?"

"Too…I don't know…domestic. I didn't like having to come home, well, being _expected_ home and _expected_ to do wifeish things, but the real rift between us was kids. I wanted to wait about five years. Jeff, my ex, wanted a freaking baseball team immediately."

"But you love your little brothers and sisters so much."

"I do," Sarah said, shrugging, "And I would totally raise them if I had to. I guess Jeff just wasn't the one and I wasn't ready. I'm still not. And I'm not forcing anything."

"That's good. You shouldn't."

"And it's hard anyway." Sarah was surprising herself at how open and comfortable she felt with Hillary. She didn't usually ramble about these personal topics unless she'd had a few drinks. "Because Daddy and Livvie…they kinda set the bar a little high."

"I saw that," Hillary said. "Talk about soul mates. I was…this might sound weird…but I watched them a few times, and even when they were across the room they'd look up and catch each other's eye. And…your Dad's _toast_."

Sarah needed human contact. She lunged for Hillary's hand. "Omigod, omigod, omigod. That toast. _Gawwwwwd_. You know," Sarah looked around and lowered her voice, "Sonny is probably gonna propose to Brooke soon. Like, really soon. And he was probably _pissed_ at Daddy. I mean, how do you top that?"

"I think I'm in love with your Dad." Hillary said, only partially joking and hoping Sarah got the humor.

"Oh, we all are," Sarah replied breezily. "But he wasn't like that with my mom. Livvie…she changed him. He's so fucking in love with her he can't see straight half the time."

"I think she kinda likes him, too."

"Oh, she does, but Daddy….he used to be so… _frozen_. A toast like that? That's new. Only with Livvie. And he does not give one fuck who sees him kiss her or hug her or slap her ass…and _babies_? He's like…a totally different person."

"Does that bother you?" Hillary asked sagely.

Sarah grinning knowingly. This girl was good at reading people. "It did for a little while. But, you know what? I'm in love. I'm in love with Livvie and Noah and with the babies and I'm in love with my Dad. And proud of him."

"People change."

"I'm not sure it was a change," Sarah objected politely, "I think it was more…Dad learned some lessons and he found Livvie, and she… _she_ , omigod she's so fucking good, she brought all the good stuff out of him. Like, he coulda been this guy all along, but he needed someone to unearth it."

Hillary considered this and finished her coffee. "We should all be so lucky."

"No fucking kidding."

…

Ed soaked up the last of the morning's no-clothes cuddles. He'd locked the door a few hours earlier when he returned from the babies' room, so he gently massaged Olivia's breasts and wrapped his legs around her without fear of interruption. They had to get on the road soon, and they spent much of the previous evening packing; nevertheless, he kissed and stroked and teased and it was only the sight of Noah on the baby monitor that kept him from taking things further.

"Give him a year," Ed whispered, "And we're totally hands off. Noah's got it."

Olivia lazily lifted her lids and saw Noah sliding between the two cribs like he was playing a mean basketball defense, pausing to entertain one sibling by making silly faces and performing intricate dance moves and then moving to the other and repeating the gestures.

"I want to spend some one-on-one time with him this week," Olivia said, "I don't want him to…feel like his identity is forever wrapped up with the twins."

"I know."

Olivia turned so she was laying on her back. "You know?"

"I've been thinkin' the same thing. He's…he's been so great. I keep waitin' for the moment when he's not loving them so much."

"My thoughts exactly."

Ed smiled and kissed her. "We gotta talk about this stuff, Liv."

She caressed his cheek. "I know…it's been…such a whirlwind. We haven't had many moments like this one."

"We'll get more."

"Yes we will."

"Guess we better get up?"

"Yeah. They'll start crying soon and Noah hates it when they cry. As do you."

Ed didn't try to defend himself. She had him more than pegged. It was already the unspoken norm around the Tucker home that Daddy gave everyone anything they wanted. "One more kiss?"

Olivia cocked an eyebrow and raised the ante. " _Two_."

…..

The house Ed rented was even larger than it appeared in the photos. As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Olivia raved about the veranda which, she hoped, was replicated on the opposite side of the house. Sure enough, upon further inspection, it did, and the pristine view did not disappoint. A few yards of sea grass gave way to a white sandy beach and the ocean waves lapped gently at the shore.

It took a while to transfer their luggage from the SUV to the proper places inside, and Ed insisted on doing the job himself. He set up the twins' bouncy seats on the porch, strapped them in, and got to work. Olivia and Noah relaxed on the porch swing and planned their week.

"Sand castles!"

"We'll definitely do that, sweet Noah."

"Jump in da waves!"

"Of course."

"You go in wiff me?"

"I sure will."

"We go in _now_?"

"Let's wait for Daddy. When he's done unloading, we'll get our suits on and go down to the beach."

"Sarah and Brookey and Sonny comin?"

"Yes. Monday. So we have a couple days just the five of us."

"Babies go in the water?"

"We'll put their feet in, but they won't jump in the waves like you will!"

"Yeah! Babies, I'll show ya how ta surf!"

Olivia gave Noah a squeeze and wondered where he'd been exposed to surfing.

It was early evening by the time they got completely settled in the beach house. Much to Noah's delight, Ed set up the three kids in the same room even though he predicted that arrangement would probably only last one night. Before dinner, the five of them set out for a walk along the shore. The twins and Noah all wore wrap-around sunglasses and wide-brimmed hats. Olivia strapped Maggie into a baby carrier, but Ed preferred to carry Wyatt.

"Are you ever going to use one of these?" Olivia asked, dangling the second carrier in front of Ed's face.

"Nah."

"Mommy? I need shoes?"

"No, sweetie."

Noah tickled Maggie's bare feet. "No shoes! Just like da babies! Mommy, you bring the shoes for Mags and Wyatt?"

"We sure did."

Last week, Olivia and Noah went on a beach-themed shopping spree and bought Noah a new pair of flip-flops and tiny sandals for the babies. Also included in their loot were rafts in the shape of a swan and a bear, a boogie board, swim trunks, pails and shovels, and several bottles of high SPF sunblock.

The Tuckers set out on the sandy path leading from their back porch which took them through the sea grass and onto the sparsely populated beach. The town was sleepier than Kill Devil Hills. There were fewer multi-family dwellings and more beach houses which were situated far apart from one another. Both Ed and Olivia liked the seclusion and the laid-back, islandy vibe.

Noah trotted several feet in front of everyone else, but he stopped periodically to examine shells and drop a few selected ones in his plastic green bucket. He was meticulous—only pristine, unblemished ones made it into his collection. If they were chipped, cracked, or broken, Noah tossed them into the water.

After their stroll, Ed took Noah to one of the local markets to buy ingredients for dinner. The store was only a few blocks away, so they set off on foot. Noah wore his new flip flips and switched from his wrap-around sunglasses to a pair of wayfarers which Sarah purchased for him. When they entered the store, Noah scrunched up his nose.

"Smells funny in here!"

"It's all the seafood, bud," Ed replied with a smile and pointed to the refrigerated cases, "Look!"

Noah stood on his tiptoes and pressed his face to the glass. "Wow! Lookit! Dis one have BIG CLAWS!"

The clerk picked up the lobster and held it up. "This'll make for a tasty dinner!"

"We get one a dose, Daddy?"

Ed furrowed his brow. He and Olivia could handle shrimp and salmon filets. Lobster was tricky. "How, uh, can you put that on the grill?" He asked.

"Sure. Just cut 'em down the center here," the man traced an imaginary line along the shell, "And grill 'em face down. Five minutes tops."

Ed nodded his assent, ordered the jumbo shrimp and salmon, added a side of potato salad and a bottle of sweet Shiraz. Noah swung the bag containing the lobster as they made their way back to the house. When they got home, he proudly handed the bag to Olivia.

"Mommy! We got da dinner!"

She inspected the contents, "Lobster…"

"Yep! I eat da CLAWS!"

Ed answered her unspoken question. "Guy at the market said to just cut it and grill it for a few minutes."

Olivia balled a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

"What?" He asked innocently in response to her silly grin.

"You spoil him…well… _us_."

Lifting his chin haughtily, Ed replied, "Of course."

…..

The next morning Olivia found Ed lounging in the chaise on the veranda with Maggie and Wyatt. The babies' heads each rested on a bicep and he curled his forearms around them and bent his wrist at an uncomfortable-looking angle so he could hold their bottles.

He looked up and smiled at Olivia.

"Don't move," she said. "I want to get a picture." She dashed inside to get her phone. When she returned she took a few shots, kissed Ed, and leaned back against the railing. "So precious," she murmured.

Ed smirked proudly, "Not gonna be be able to hold 'em like this for much longer."

"You know, I can take morning bottle duty every once in a while."

"Nah. You sleep. Plus…" Ed shifted slightly, "I like it. Peaceful. And just our time, ya know?"

Initially, Ed took middle-of-the night feedings so Olivia could sleep. Now, the twins took a late bottle and didn't wake up until four or five a.m., and Ed never once missed a shift. He plodded bleary-eyed to the kitchen, heated the bottles, and fed Maggie and Wyatt in their room. After, he would linger in the rocking chair. Sometimes he whispered his hopes and dreams. Other times he merely basked in the feel of them against his chest and soaked up their baby scent. Olivia realized he was often away from bed for inordinate amounts of time, but she also knew these sessions were about more than just bottles. It was spiritual.

"I know." Olivia gazed at him. Almost totally gray but still ruggedly handsome. Eyes matching the color of the clear blue sky. Sun kissed face accentuated by his prominent cheekbones and jawline. Masculinity epitomized.

Wyatt craned his neck toward the sound of his mother's voice.

"Hear your Mommy, Wyatt? You can take him, Liv."

With Wyatt in Olivia's arms, Ed switched Maggie to a more traditional hold and the baby girl stared up at him with eyes that seemed to be changing from a dark to a lighter blue. She gently kicked her legs in the air. She curled the fingers of one hand along the top of Ed's as if she were requesting an attempt to hold her own bottle. With the other hand she clutched a section of his t-shirt.

"What do you want to do today?" Ed asked.

"Maybe start with a walk this morning?"

"Sure."

"Then the beach. I checked the weather and it's perfect. Not too hot. Breezy."

"And they have a cabana in the shed we can use."

"Perfect."

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You know, I was thinkin. The last time we were at the beach…we weren't even living together yet."

The memory made Olivia smile and caused a quick and pleasant flutter to traverse her spine. Looking back, that beach trip turned out to be a major turning point in their relationship. Up until that point, she wasn't sure exactly where their relationship was headed. "No we weren't. But I remember…a lot of special things happening on that trip."

"We kinda all came together as a family, didn't we?"

"We did."

"And the _shower_."

"We did have to be creative," Olivia's smile broadened, "We won't have that problem here."

"We could…we could do it anyway…for tradition's sake."

"We could."

"Say _we will_." Ed was blushing now, full of flirtatious energy.

"We will."

…

Wyatt and Maggie lasted a couple of hours on the beach before Ed decided to take them in so they could nap in their beds. While he was inside, he told Olivia he'd make lunch and left her and Noah to themselves for a little while.

"Want to build a sand castle, sweet boy?"

He'd spent much of the morning playing in the waves with Ed.

"Yep!" Noah gathered his sand toys. "Gotta go down there to da good sand!"

"That's right."

They each heaped and packed the damp sand into the buckets and carefully overturned them until they had an impressive cluster of sand structures. Noah assigned Olivia to carve windows into each one, and he worked on roads for the handful of matchbox cars he packed in his backpack.

"You are doing great work, Noah! We have an entire sand city here!"

"Uh-huh! Good windows, Mommy!"

"Thank you." Olivia continued her work, and Noah used the handle end of a shovel to poke a hole through one of the castles, creating a tunnel. "Are you happy to be back at the beach?"

"Yep! We have a house here! When I go to da beach wiff Brookey we don't have da house!"

"Right. When you go with the sisters you go to Brooklyn. That's still in New York where we live."

"We in New York now?"

"Nope. We're in Delaware."

"Del-a-ware!"

"Yep."

"Do you want to play games tonight with me and Daddy? We brought Trouble and Uno and Candy Land."

"Yes! I wanna play! And Wyatt and Maggie, too?"

"They can watch," Olivia replied. "Noah, you love your brother and sister don't you?"

"Uh-huh! I sleep wiff them on vay-cay-shun! You say they wake me up, but they didn't!"

Noah was right. Ed, now conditioned to wake up early, plucked the twins from their Pack and Play before they actually broke into full blown wails.

"No, they didn't, did they? They wanted to let their big brother sleep."

"Sometimes I da big bruvver and sometimes I da little bruvver!"

"That's right. And you're also my son. And Daddy's son."

"Uh-huh!"

"And we love you so, so much."

"I _know_ , Mommy!" Noah kept excavating his tunnel, but he got too aggressive and it collapsed. " _Ahhh_!"

"Uh-oh!" Olivia said, "We'll have to rebuild it. No problem." She scooped more sand back into a bucket and easily replaced the fallen structure.

"Thank you, Mommy! You a good helper."

"You're welcome, sweet Noah. Mommy is always going to help you. Daddy, too."

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I take da babies to school wiff me?"

The question about school didn't surprise Olivia. He was continuing in the same school, but, being too young for kindergarten, was switching to a different, more intensive pre-Kindergarten program which lasted a full school day. She and Ed had recently started talking to him about the switch.

"No, sweetie. The babies will go to day care or stay home. Sometimes…well…there are some times when you'll do things on your own. Or, when you'll do things with just me or Daddy or with both of us. Like…how you and Daddy go to the pub."

"Dat's just for the big guys!"

"Yeah. That's your special place with Daddy. And…you and I…we have our special walks and we have our talks in the mornings or after I pick you up from school. And times like right now when it's just you and me."

"Yep," Noah said absent-mindedly. He was focused more on his new tunnel.

"But, remember, even if you're busy and away from the babies, you'll always get to kiss Maggie and Wyatt good night."

"Yep! And read da books!"

"Absolutely."

"We read _four_ books now?" Noah bargained.

"No. Three is plenty."

"Daddy read four."

"I'm sure he does." Grinning, Olivia started working on more extensive aesthetic designs in addition to the requisite windows. " _That Daddy_."

Noah successfully ran one of his cars through a tunnel and almost perfectly mimicked Olivia's semi-sarcastic tone, " _That Daddy_."

…

"Good night noises, everywhere." Olivia closed the well-worn book. "Okay. Tucker kiddos in bed."

The next few minutes were filled with a flurry of _I love yous_ and kisses and Noah's gentle pats on the babies' heads. The five of them climbed the steps to the kids' room. Noah hopped in his bed which was significantly larger than what he had at home. When Ed and Olivia went back downstairs to sit on the porch and sip a glass of wine, they took the baby monitor with them and listened as Noah had his own little conversation with Maggie and Wyatt.

"We play more at da beach tomorrow, babies," he murmured drowsily. "And prolly we eat more shrimpies but you still drink da bottles. And Sare bear be here. And Brookey and Sonny." He went on for a few minutes longer. His sentences quickly became jumbled, barely audible words and then the only sounds transmitted were those of the kids breathing and occasionally moving in their sleep.

Olivia leaned into Ed and sipped her wine. She finally allowed herself an occasional drink and was diligent about ensuring there was ample frozen breast milk and formula on hand. "I give us an A-plus so far on vacationing with infant twins and a four-year-old."

"That's a pretty high grade, Lieutenant."

"You don't agree?"

"Oh, I _always_ give us an A-plus." Ed replied, his tone full of sass, "In parenting. Vacationing. _Lovemaking_."

Olivia played along. "We are quite skilled…at all of those."

Even though they were completely alone, Ed whispered his next sentence. "I wanna make love to you on the beach."

"How are you going to make that happen, Captain?"

"Some night this week," he replied, obviously having given the topic some thought. "Girls will be here. We'll just…go for a walk."

"You aren't worried about someone seeing us?"

"No. There aren't that many people here. All the houses are set way back."

"I cannot believe we're having this conversation."

"I like this conversation. And I'll like doing it on the beach even more. Think about it. The waves, we'll bring a couple of blankets. Some wine, ya know, just to make it a little less suspicious when we leave."

"I don't know…"

Ed kissed the top of her head. "Think about it."

"Okay."

"In the meantime…" Ed trailed off and started nibbling at Olivia's earlobe.

" _Captain_."

"Out here," he growled.

"What's gotten into you?" Olivia asked even though she knew the answer. After so many weeks of no sex, she and Ed were both intent on making up for lost time.

"Oh," Ed smirked at her, "I think you know the answer to that."

He gently put the iPad face down on the wicker side table.

And then there was no more talking.

….

 **#Tuckson**


	25. Chapter 25

**Twenty-five.**

Looking back, the sundress should've clued him in.

When Ed and Olivia, along with a bottle of Sarah's Prosecco, two glasses, and the smaller of the two beach blankets they had, set out for their walk on the beach, Ed did not believe Olivia would go through with lovemaking on the beach. This was unfortunate, because Sarah, Brooke, and Sonny paid very little attention to them announcing they were going for a walk. Sarah was too wrapped up with Maggie and Wyatt—she was lying on the floor between the babies and obsessed with making them smile. She bopped their noses with her index finger and babbled to them in incoherent baby talk until they broke into grins.

"Good boy!" She cooed at Wyatt and kissed his chubby cheeks in succession, "You're such a perfect, perfect boy, aren't you?" Wyatt's smile faded a little as he focused on Sarah's shimmery necklace. His tiny mouth formed into an "O" shape as he concentrated.

Already not one to be ignored, Maggie kicked and flailed, catching Sarah's shoulder with a fist.

"Ouch, sister!" Sarah joked and somewhat vigorously rubbed Maggie's torso and then ran a hand over her head. "Mags, you have so much hair! We're gonna put a bow in it when we go out tomorrow!" Maggie's hair was a lighter brown now, and she had just enough on the top of her head to maybe allow for a small accessory. She already had a few bows that wrapped around her head but she consistently knocked them off, and Ed was worried they hurt her anyway.

In the kitchen, Sonny had already scooped ice cream into bowls and Noah was busy adding chocolate sauce, sprinkles, cherries, and crumbled Oreos under Brooke's supervision. Nobody questioned the excessive supplies Ed and Olivia toted with them on the way out.

The flowy, flowery, Sarah-style dress flapped in the breeze once they got close to the water. The walked south, away from the busier, more populated part of the beach, and Ed bunched the blanket under his arm and held the bottle in on hand so he could hold Olivia's. She glanced at him coyly out of the corner of her eye and turned her head against the wind so the loose strands of her brown hair that had escaped the hair clip were not flapping against her face.

"I'm glad to be here walking on the beach with you," he said hesitantly like it was the first romantic thing he'd ever uttered to her and he was worried she wouldn't reciprocate.

"I'm glad to be here with you."

Somewhere between North America and Africa, a storm brewed in the Atlantic and it sent large waves crashing at their bare feet, spraying droplets of water onto their legs and dotting Ed's khaki cargo shorts. As they jumped away from a particularly threatening wave, Ed almost dropped the blanket.

"Good save," Olivia cooed.

"Thanks."

"Want to sit for a while?"

There was something in the way said _sit_ that made him tingle. "Good idea." Ed surveyed the immediate area and nodded toward a little dip in the sand out of the water's reach. "Over there."

They sat on the blanket and poured the wine. Olivia wasted no time snuggling up to Ed, and she covered her legs with the end of the blanket. Despite it being August, it was a little chilly, especially when the breeze hit the damp spots on her legs and dress.

Ed handed Olivia her glass. "Cheers," he said, making no move to drink. "A toast…to…our family. Ya know, I think we unintentionally found the secret. Ya kinda need a twenty-five year age gap between sets of kids…easier that way."

Olivia briefly closed her eyes and shook her head, laughing. "That's an extremely rosy way of looking at…everything."

"Why not be rosy?" Ed asked, a little baffled, "We have everything we want, don't we? A smart, kind, caring little boy, two _gorgeous_ babies, and two, no, three adults to watch them while we drink wine on the beach."

"That's the most perfect summary I've ever heard."

Ed finally took a smug drink.

"But you left something out."

He raised his eyebrows. "Did I?"

"This." Olivia lunged at him. The kiss took him by surprise and he spilled a little of his wine, but he simply tossed the glass aside and took her into his arms. He fell onto his back, bunched her dress up over her hips, and ran his hands over every inch of bare skin he could reach.

Things escalated quickly. Olivia fused her lips to Ed's while expertly removing his shorts and using a foot to shove them from his legs and into the sand.

" _Liv_."

"I want you."

"I want you too, baby," he gasped in reaction to her biting a little harder than usual at his earlobe. "Ahhhaww, I want you so fucking much." He redirected her face back to his lips, kissed her fiercely, and rolled her so they were facing each other on their sides, dragging part of the blanket with him so they were partially covered which he thought Olivia would appreciate, but, judging by the ferocity of her kisses and caresses, she might not have cared all that much.

The breeze picked up and the waves roared in. Olivia moaned faintly, took a deep breath, and didn't release it until Ed was buried inside her. She pressed her eyes closed, letting the sounds of nature wash over her mind and body as her husband moved in and out of her at a slow, sensual pace. He kept his mouth on hers and massaged her tongue in rhythm with his thrusts. They sunk comfortably into the sand, the terrain cushioning and shaping itself around their bodies. It was one of the most intimate moments of their lives.

Afterward, Ed couldn't quite relinquish the pleasure of their half-naked bodies pressed together. He yanked the fleece blanket to give them a little more coverage and kissed at her face repeatedly.

Olivia felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. "You okay?"

"Liv, I'm sure I've never been better."

"That was… _so good_."

"Mmmm," he droned into her ear and held her even more tightly. " _You're_ so good. I wanna stay like this forever. God, I love making love to you."

"We were meant to be together," Olivia tilted her head back and pursed her lips, ready for another kiss.

Ed didn't immediately comply. "We were, weren't we?"

"Yes."

"That's the only explanation, isn't it?"

"No, but it's the best one for right now."

….

Back at the house, everyone migrated to the back porch. Sarah and Noah occupied the swing. Brooke and Sonny were in the matching wicker armchairs. The babies were in the middle in their walkers. Their little feet couldn't quite reach the ground, but this way they were upright and could more easily look around.

"They like to watch each other!" Sarah remarked.

Sure enough, Maggie and Wyatt seemed to mimic one another's movements. If Wyatt grabbed for a rattle, Maggie did the same. If Maggie flung herself backwards, Wyatt imitated her motion.

"Happy babies," Sonny said.

"They sure are," Brooke added.

"Why wouldn't they be?" Sarah asked. She was already on her third glass of Prosecco. Lately, she'd been good at keeping tabs on how much she drank, but after the long road trip, she figured she owed herself a night free from restrains. Besides, how much trouble could she get into with her family at a quaint little beach house?

"Some babies are colicky and fussy," Sonny said, "Trust me. I know. We've had all kinds in my family."

"Sare bear!" Noah jerked his little body forward, "Go faster!"

"Noey, this isn't a swing like at the park! We're gonna break it if we go too high!"

"Wanna swing wiff Maggie and Wyatt!"

"Let's let 'em sit in their seats until they need to eat again. Then we'll feed them right here," Sarah suggested, "You know how to feed them, don't you?"

"UH-huh!" Noah answered indignantly, almost insulted that Sarah had to ask him that question.

Brooke and Carisi cracked up.

"Noah, you take super good care of the babies," Brooke complimented.

Noah smiled proudly. "Mommy and Daddy show me how." As if he suddenly realized his parents' absence, he asked, "Where Mommy and Daddy go?"

"For a walk," Sonny responded.

Sarah pretended to choke on her wine and forced a cough. "Yes. A _walk_."

Brooke narrowed her eyes.

"Brookey, don't look at me in that voice." Sarah dragged Noah over to her side. "Tell Brookey to loosen up, No."

"Loosen up, Brookey!"

"Noah," Brooke responded firmly, "Tell Sarah to get her mind out of the gutter."

It took a second for Noah to get the words in the right order, but he repeated, "Mind outta da gutter, Sare bear!"

"Noah. Go get the blue bottle for your Sare bear. It's on the kitchen table."

" _Sarah_. Dad and Liv don't want him being your waiter."

"He's just getting me the _bottle_. Go ahead, Noey, you can open the door." She set Noah on the slatted wooden floor and he went into the kitchen in search of the Prosecco. Once he was out of earshot, Sarah turned back to Sonny and Brooke. "They are doing a little more than walking, I'm sorry-not-sorry to say."

Brooke recognized the mischievous twinkle in her sister's eye and knew she was imagining her Dad and Olivia engaged in X-rated scenes on the seashore. "You're crazy. Dad wouldn't do that."

"Oh yes he would."

"Do what?" Sonny had been busy making faces and Wyatt and Maggie who were waving their arms around, practicing holding their heads up, and smiling.

"Sonny, get with the program," Sarah scolded. She heard Noah's footsteps come closer so she quickly added, "Your boss and our Dad are _fucking_ on the beach."

The screen door squeaked as Noah pushed his way back onto the porch. He easily handled the barely-full bottle and gave it to Sarah. "Dere ya go, Sare bear!"

"Thank you, Noey Boey! Now. As a reward, you may have a soda! It's in the fridge." Once again, she sent him inside.

"Lieu?" Sonny asked with a screwed-up face, "No way."

"Yes way."

Brooke sided with Sonny. "I don't think so."

"You watch. When they come back, they're gonna reek of sex."

"How exactly do you reek of sex?" Brooke asked.

Noah returned with his soda can and Sarah popped it open. She took a sip so it was less full and handed it over. "You just do," she answered. "I can't explain it. Maybe it's a sixth sense. Some people can predict the future, I know when people have just had sex."

" _Sare bear_ ," Noah reprimanded, "You say sex again!"

….

"Do I look okay?" Olivia smoothed her hair with her hands then ran both her index fingers under her eyes to try and wipe away any smeared makeup.

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

"Right now? Yes."

Ed playfully tugged her toward the water. "I could just throw ya in…then it won't matter what we look like."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Ed's neck, and squealed a little as he swung her around. Her feet came down in water up to her ankles and she shivered as he trailed kissed along her collarbone.

"I'm so happy, Liv."

"Me too."

"I wanna buy that house."

Olivia responded with a placating, "Okay."

"I'm serious."

"Ed, you just sold the Kill Devil condo."

"I sold that a year ago. We need a place for our family. This is perfect. It's far but not too far."

Olivia placed both hands on his chest. "Let's think about that."

"I want Noah and Wyatt and Maggie to have _memories_."

"They will. They will have memories of this fantastic life we're giving them. Of how much their Mommy and Daddy love them. Of how much Sarah and Brooke and Sonny love them. Of holidays and birthdays and…" Olivia was starting to choke up.

"Liv, I didn't meanta make you cry. _Hey_."

"I always cry."

"I know, but it still scares me."

"Then stop being so perfect."

Ed's face formed into the cockiest smirk Olivia could remember and he replied, "I can't. I have to keep up with you."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow, "Captain, we better head back before we have to face some questions we can't answer."

"Which questions have you ever been unable to answer, Lieutenant?"

"I'm not used to answering them."

"Me neither."

"This has been kind of a long walk."

"Coulda been longer."

"It could have."

"Hope they won't notice how long we're in the shower later."

Olivia buried her head into his neck. "I'm sure someone will."

"I don't care."

"You don't?"

"No." Ed breathed deeply, inhaling the salty-sweet scent of her hair. "Loving you is the last thing I want to hide."

…..

Wyatt and Maggie slept peacefully in their bouncy seats while Sonny, Brooke, Sarah, and Noah boisterously played Uno around the square coffee table. Sonny had been officially added to the scoresheet and was clearly out to distinguish himself among the pack of players which now included Noah who, at four, was developing into a pretty savvy player. He resisted the urge to immediately play his "Draw" cards and was able to easily follow the other rules of colors and numbers.

Ed and Olivia walked in, arm-in-arm, smiling, and in full realization that they would immediately be under scrutiny. They had already ditched the bottle in a neighbor's recycling bin, left the glasses on one of the porch tables, and draped the blanket over a railing.

Sarah greeted them first. "Well, _helllooooooo_."

"Long time, no see," Brooke said, buying in to Sarah's theory. Both of them looked like they'd been for a walk on the beach. Windblown hair. Pink cheeks. Slightly watery eyes. But, Brooke had to admit, there was a certain swagger surrounding them, one that guarded an inside joke, a secret, and she swore they almost looked disappointed to discover most of their family still energetically wide awake.

"Nice night out there." Ed remarked. With his arm still around Olivia's waist, he added, "You didn't drink all of my bourbon, didja?"

Nobody had bourbon. Sonny and Brooke drank beer. Sarah was well into her second bottle of wine.

"Not yet," Brooke said, turning back to her cards and smiling.

"Can I pour ya one, Daddy?"

"Nah," Ed tousled Noah's hair, "How's my boy?"

"I winning! Look!" Noah held up his cards. He did have a pretty good looking hand.

"That's great, bud! A couple more hands then bedtime."

"Sare bear say I can stay up late."

"Did she?"

Sarah batted her eyes apologetically. "It was sort of a bribe."

"That's just fine," Olivia said sweetly, "We're on vacation. Anything goes." She kissed Noah and then hovered over the twins. "Hi my sweet babies! So, so precious."

"They ate about an hour ago," Sonny reported. "And sucked 'em down, too!"

"I feeded Wyatt dis time!" Noah announced.

"You _fed_ Wyatt?" Olivia asked, sounding impressed, "You usually feed Maggie, dontcha?"

"Uh-huh. Small sister was wiff Sonny."

"Sonny loves small sister," Sarah remarked, playing a card which skipped Noah. "Sorry, No."

" _Sare bear_ ," Noah growled in response.

Olivia smiled at her son's annoyed expression, stretched, and announced she was going to get cleaned up. The Uno players nodded. Ed eyed the babies, waited a few minutes, and drifted away without a word. The stairs creaked under his weight and Sarah's eyes followed his footsteps overhead.

"And now the shower," she said knowingly.

Brooke borrowed Sarah's signature phrase, "Omigod. That wasn't obvious at _all_."

Sonny was dumbfounded. "I can't believe it. I saw it. But I can't believe it."

"Told ya," Sarah snickered haughtily, and shook her head, "So freaking hot."

…

Just after sunrise the next morning, Sonny found Ed on the back porch with Wyatt and Maggie. He hesitated to interrupt at first. Ed had both babies laying on their backs on the chaise. They wore nothing but diapers and Ed bobbed his head back and forth, nuzzling and blowing strawberries on their bellies. He took sharp breaths between each contact.

"Daddy's gonna getcha!"

"Gotta smile for me, baby girl? There it is. Yes you do!"

"How 'bout you, big guy? Atta boy!"

Wyatt and Maggie blinked and stuck out their tongues and wiggled in response to their father. Sonny made sure to make some extra noise in the kitchen before he joined them.

"Morning, Captain." Sonny was careful not to let the screen door slam.

"It's Ed."

"Ah, yeah, that's tough."

"Try."

"Okay."

"I'm not gonna be Captain forever, ya know."

Sonny ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, Brooke said somethin' about that. Thinking about going part time?"

Ed kept his eyes on the twins. "I have a couple of different options. Just want to spend as much time as possible with these two. After this week, we both go back to work, it's gonna be tough. And we haven't hired a new nanny, so Brooke's really bailing us out by watching them."

Carisi grinned at the wide-awake babies who were captivated by their Daddy. Ed was now catching their feet as they kicked and playfully nipped at their toes. When Brooke told Sonny she volunteered to watch the three kids during the day when Olivia and Ed went back to work, Sonny was secretly thrilled.

"But that's not gonna last forever," Ed continued, "So I need to make a decision soon."

"I dunno," Sonny said, still smiling at the infants, "I don't think I could leave them."

"What about you?" Ed asked. "Still not quite ready to jump ship and go to the DA's office?"

"I think…I'm always thinking about it. But…I want to talk it over with Brooke. And I never feel like it's the right time to bring it up. It seems, well, I kinda need to know if she'd rather be married to a cop or an ADA."

"Tough being a cop and having a family," Ed remarked, "But not impossible…if ya have your priorities straight."

Sonny leaned against the railing and looked into the distance. "Yeah," he murmured under his breath. He clearly had a lot on his mind.

Ed was encouraging. "You two will figure it out though. No doubt in my mind about that."

Maggie started fussing, so Ed picked her up. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" He held her up and kissed her on each cheek. "Just want your Daddy to hold ya?" In Ed's arms, she calmed down.

Sonny offered to take Wyatt. Ed nodded. Sonny held him so he was facing outward and bounced around the porch. Soon they were joined by Olivia and Noah and then Sarah and Brooke. After breakfast, the eight of them headed out to the beach. Noah led the way, dragging his boogie board. Sonny shouldered most of the bags and pulled the wheeled cooler. Sarah held Maggie. Brooke had Wyatt.

Ed and Olivia trailed, holding hands, ready for another perfect day.

…

#Tuckson


	26. Chapter 26

**Twenty-six.**

Noah helped guide the double UppaBaby stroller through the Caribbean-themed restaurant's indoor seating and to their patio table for eight. The hostess eyed the children, removed three place settings, and hastily returned with a children's menu, placemat, and a package of four crayons.

Olivia parked the stroller in an out-of-the way spot. Sarah practically bulldozed everyone else to snag one of the seats next to Maggie and Wyatt. Noah inspected his brother and sister. He adjusted their hanging toys so they were within reach and tried to give them their pacifiers, but they both seemed content without them.

"No pacis?" Noah asked, dangling Wyatt's tiger Wubbanub. He roared gently, imitating the animal, and burrowed the plush toy under his baby brother's chin. Wyatt's round, chubby face lit up at the attention, and Noah roared again, this time a little louder. It drew the attention of another family sitting nearby.

The father pointed to their own stroller. "Can we borrow him for a little while when she wakes up?"

"Sure, no problem," Ed replied with a proud grin.

Sarah picked up Maggie. "C'mere, pretty lady. You wanna sit with your sissy, dontcha?" She smoothed her pink-and-white striped romper and adjusted her bow, an accessory that had been added at the last minute much to Ed's displeasure.

"I told ya not to put that on her," he grumbled.

"Oh, Daddy. It's adorable. It's her signature."

"Her signature?"

"Yes."

Ed watched Maggie's hands flail upwards, "She doesn't seem to want that thing on her head."

Sarah held Maggie up and kissed her. "You want the bow off, small sister?" Maggie let out a little squeal and smiled. Sarah kissed her again and removed the bow. "Happy now?"

"She's always happy," Brooke said, reaching over to smooth her wisps of fine brown hair.

"I was talking to Daddy, actually," Sarah replied.

Olivia cupped Ed's cheek and planted a light kiss on his lips. "He's happy," she said softly, her eyes locked on his.

The public display of affection made Sonny slightly uncomfortable. Brooke noticed him fidget a little, and she patted his leg just above the knee. He gave her a grateful smirk and suggested they order appetizers with their first round of drinks.

"Seared tuna looks good," he said, "Calamari, too. Crab and spinach dip."

"Have you eaten today?" Sarah asked incredulously. They spent most of the day on the beach and, even though they had all kinds of snacks, there had been no formal meal.

"Yeah, but I burned all that energy boogie boarding. Noah's probably starving, too."

"Yep! I hungry too! We shredded waves today!" Sonny taught him _shredding waves_ earlier and it was the little boy's new favorite phrase. Noah and Sonny spent hours in the surf earlier that day and once Noah got over the initial fear, he expertly used the boogie board to ride the waves near the shore.

"You sure did, sweet Noah," Olivia cooed. "Hey, why don't you come and sit in your chair?" She held out the crayons. "Want to draw? You haven't drawn us anything since we've been at the beach."

Noah frowned as he inspected the crayons. He opened the box and felt the waxy tips. "I don't like these."

Sarah cracked up. " _Annnnnnnd_ we have a snobby artist in the family!"

"It's your fault," Ed pointed out, "You buy him those fancy colored pencils and pastels."

"And you buy him iPads," Sarah retorted.

"Speaking of," Olivia pulled the iPad Mini from her bag, "Here. Want to use this instead?"

Noah eagerly accepted the device but he didn't leave Wyatt's side. "Where bruvver gonna sit?"

Ed got up. "He can sit with us, over here, at the guys' end of the table." The clan had unintentionally segregated themselves by gender. Ed unbuckled the straps and lifted Wyatt from his seat. He was dressed in a romper identical to his sister's. The only difference being his stripes were green and white. Sarah reached up and squeezed the baby's ample thigh.

"He's like a ham," she remarked. "An Easter ham."

Ed cradled the twelve-pound baby in one arm and turned toward the beach. "Lookit that view, Wyatt!"

The sun was setting and it cast a burnt-orange filter over the people lingering on the beach and the restaurant's guests, including Ed. Olivia took out her phone and snapped a picture of her infant son and her husband in profile. Ed pretended not to notice as he always did when Olivia took spontaneous photographs of him. After he took in a little more of the sight, he sat down again and requested to see the image.

It was perfect. Although he would never admit it to anyone other than his wife, Ed loved seeing himself with his children. One of the first pictures taken of him and Noah was in the park. He was pushing the little boy on a swing and Olivia snapped away. It was still early in their relationship, but he asked her to send him the pics, hoping not to sound too forward. Olivia thought nothing of it and passed them along, including a couple that were clearly zoomed to catch a close up of him and Noah smiling on the backswing.

Now he had thousands of photos on his phone, his iPad, his work laptop, their home laptop, and some were framed and on his office shelves. His lock screen was a selfie he snapped of the five of them on the big bed; his phone's wallpaper was from the soccer field. Ed was squatting to double-knot Noah's cleat and the little boy looked down at him admiringly.

"Nice," he remarked, "Really nice."

Before he could verbalize the request, he felt his phone vibrate.

"I sent it to you," Olivia said with a smirk. She noticed a tiny bit of spit-up pooling in the corners of Wyatt's mouth. "Oops, sweet Wyatt," she dabbed at his lips with a napkin. He moved his mouth like he wanted to talk. "What, baby boy? You want to tell Mommy something?"

"He wants to tell you you're beautiful," Ed whispered.

Olivia felt herself blush and balled the napkin. "Stop flirting."

"I'm simply translating for Wyatt."

"WHOA!" Noah's exclamation was in response to a gigantic tray of calamari that had just been placed in the middle of the table.

"Ever had calamari, Noah?" Sonny asked.

Noah looked to his parents for the answer. They shook their heads, but Sarah interjected. "Yes he has! When I watched you, Noey. When Mommy and Daddy were in Key West we had calamari."

Noah had already popped a piece into his mouth. "It good."

"Try the sauce." Sonny slid a small bowl in front of him, "Some sort of sweet and sour thing."

"Mmmmmm."

After another round of drinks and a few more appetizers, a jazz-funk band started playing and Sarah insisted someone dance with her. Noah was her first choice, and he skipped with her to the dance floor without argument. The band covered popular songs but adapted them to their genre. Noah and Sarah bopped along to songs like "Don't Worry, Be Happy," "Count on Me," and "Rockin the Boat."

"Now we're gonna slow it down a little. Just a little." the lead singer announced. His band broke into a familiar chorus and Sarah glanced over to the table.

"Noey, let's go back and watch Maggie and Wyatt so Mommy and Daddy and Brookey and Sonny can dance."

"Wanna dance wiff you, Sare bear!"

"Well, I know Daddy likes this song, and we'll come back. C'mon. I'll get you a Shirley Temple."

Familiar with Shirley Temples, Noah nodded his head and ran over to the rest of the family. "You guys dance now!"

Ed wasted no time handing Wyatt over and grabbing Olivia's hand. They got to the area in front of the band as their "Ho Hey" chant intensified. The two of them didn't dance much, but when they did they transported themselves into their own little bubble. They heard the music and each other, but nothing else. Ed sang most of the lyrics directly into Olivia's ear. She shivered because she understood lines such as "show me family…all the blood that I would bleed" and the chorus, "I belong with you, you belong with me," meant more to Ed than the fleeting words of an indie rock band unfamiliar to most people his age.

The band ended the song by repeating the chorus several times and Ed stared directly into Olivia's eyes as he sang along.

Nearby, Sonny and Brooke laughed at their inability to find a rhythm to the song they both knew well but, to them, was almost unrecognizable performed in the band's jazz-funk style.

"We're so bad," Brooke said.

"We need to be like your Dad and Lieu…just dance how we want no matter what's playing."

" _Right_."

Sonny liked that Brooke, who typically did not like to dance and did not invite many public displays of affection, had let down her guard since they moved in together. Every day she relaxed a bit more. Her smile appeared less forced. She made comments about the future. They were both more assured and assertive in bed, and sex became less about them wondering if the other was enjoying it and more about finding new ways to pleasure each other.

"One more song?" Sonny asked.

"Sure."

A few feet away, Ed and Olivia made the same decision.

"Sarah's got a handle on everyone," Ed reported.

The lead singer started the next song.

 _Wise men say…only fools rush in…_

Olivia smiled at the sweet scene playing out at their table. Sarah bounced a baby on each knee and Noah stood in front of them. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but surely he was instructing Sarah in some element of baby care. His expressions were animated and his hands flew everywhere when he spoke

Ed gently guided her face so her attention was solely on him.

 _But I can't help falling in love with you._

He held her face as he tilted his head and kissed her. Knowing his wife wouldn't be down for a middle-of-the-restaurant make out session, he met her lips with his slightly parted and quickly found her tongue before pulling away and whispering, "I'm so in love with you."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Are you okay lately?"

The question was too sincere for Ed to even pretend to be insulted. "I told you. I've never been better. I…remember…a really long time ago. Before we were married…and I asked you if there was any more of you?"

Olivia thought. "I don't remember." Ed kept an extensive mental rolodex of every single intimate moment they'd ever shared and was very adept at accessing it at the drop of a hat. His face fell slightly. "Well, wait. Was it…was it really early? When nobody knew about us?"

" _Yes_ ," Ed replied, relieved. "One of the first times."

"It was at your apartment."

" _Yes_." He was smiling now, thinking about that time in their lives when neither one of them was exactly sure what was happening but, at the same time, excited to discover what lay ahead. Little did they know their relationship was going to endure an excruciating test a few weeks later.

"That was…even now…one of the best nights."

"It was." Ed had made a simple dinner and they spent the evening eating, sipping wine then bourbon, and talking. The conversation never hit a lull. She laughed a lot…that genuine, no-holds-barred Olivia laugh that had been previously inaccessible to him. Later, as they came down from an almost euphoric lovemaking experience, Ed realized he was hooked. He had to have her in his life forever. "And I feel like that now. Since Maggie and Wyatt were born. I feel… _high_. Like, I can't concentrate on anything but us."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"I think I wanna retire."

First it was the spontaneous remark about buying the beach house and now, as they swayed together, Ed once again mentioned retirement.

"Should we table that discussion for when we get back home?"

"Bad timing?"

"Not bad…just…I don't think this is something we need to decide right now and…definitely not while we're dancing."

He kissed her forehead. "You're right."

"So…let's have dinner…enjoy _tonight_."

"Alright."

Olivia took his hand and led him back to the table.

"Liv?"

She looked over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad one of us is thinking straight. You're so wise."

She paused and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "And you're…so cute. I love it when you're not thinking straight."

The smirk he gave her nearly caused her knees to buckle. He saw the expression on her face change and a dark pink flush fill her cheeks. Suddenly, he wasn't the only one knocked sideways by love.

…

"Alright, we have two babies and a four-year-old sound asleep and three older kids playing Rummy downstairs." Ed heaved himself onto the bed, intentionally crashing into Olivia. "And…a very tired wife?"

Olivia was already under the covers and flipping through one of the town's travel guides. "Not very."

"Oh," Ed said brightly, raising his eyebrows, "So, I…I might be able to interest you in…" he slowly peeled back the covers and started kissing just below her belly button, "something like this?"

Olivia was already tingling with desire. She ran her fingers all over his head and tried to keep her cool. "I might be interested."

"Hmmmm. _Might_ …she says," Ed taunted her, slowly moving his lips lower and lower and talking to himself. " _Might_." He lowered her shorts and smirked, "No panties, though. So…she musta been thinking a little more than _might_." He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled along the insides of her thighs.

"Oh, God, Ed."

"Now you're gonna haveta keep it down," he said in a patronizing tone.

Olivia increased the pressure on his head, begging him to get started. " _Ed_."

"Because this house, it's old, and it echoes, and you can hear…everything." He ran his nose along her thigh. She was squirming and moaning softly now. Mercifully, he ended the torture, beginning with a slow swipe of his tongue. He barely touched her and she cried out in pleasure. "But I haven't properly thanked you for…the beach…so…"

Olivia yelped. "Thank you isn't necessary," she managed to mutter as she arched her hips into him.

"Oh, I think you want this thank-you."

" _Oh my God_."

Olivia had no idea how many times Ed performed oral sex on her, but the zeal with which he ravaged her on this particular night nearly caused her to faint. After she came the first time, Ed moved up her body and suckled at her breasts. He pulled away and Olivia thought he was coming in for a kiss, but he buried his face between her legs again, fervently probing and sucking and licking until he brought her to her peak once more.

Figuring she would appreciate a break before he proceeded, he pinned her arms over her head and, starting with her fingers, trailed kisses down one arm and up the other until he heard her breaths begin to even out.

"What are you waiting for?" She challenged, her voice deep and raspy.

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "Have a request, Lieutenant?"

She rocked her hips into him and gasped, " _You_."

Ed let one of his hands drift down and he teased at her clit. "Sure that's what ya want?"

" _Ed_." She was getting desperate now.

He broke into a cocky smirk. "Okay, baby." He smothered her mouth with his and entered her. "You feel so good."

" _Harder_."

"Not yet."

"Yes, right _there_." Olivia apparently forgave him for starting out slowly.

Encouraged, Ed continued, swallowing her moans and gasping when he felt her nails dig into his back and her teeth clamp down on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and took her in-pockets of flushed skin, the tiny freckles on her face, the wildly tangled mop of brown hair splayed across the pillow, her body bucking beneath him…and he upped the intensity, his own body starting to tremble and tingle, the welcome light-headedness overwhelming him, for the ensuing seconds he forgot his name and where he was; he only knew he was the luckiest man on Earth.

….

Sonny and Brooke were the last people up the next morning. They joined the rest of the family on the porch. Sarah was entertaining Wyatt with baby talk and one of his rattles. Noah and Ed were tossing the football around in the small side yard. Olivia was swinging Maggie over her head, getting her to produce little giggles. Olivia grinned and kissed her.

"That's my sweet girl," she cooed. "My happy sweet girl."

"Livvie, I cannot wait to see Mags in this!" Sarah held up the tiniest bikini Olivia had ever seen. It was pink, of course, and adorned with little white flowers. Last night, Sarah suddenly remembered the purchase and proudly showed it off to everyone.

"That is so funny," Olivia replied. "Big day for you, sweetheart," she gave Maggie eskimo kisses. "Your first time out in a bikini…and the first time Daddy gives the evil eye to anyone staring at you."

"Yep!" Sarah agreed. "Better she gets used to the overprotectiveness sooner rather than later."

"Good point."

Sarah sighed. "Livvie…you know what? I love children. I really do."

Olivia kissed at Maggie's head and smiled, wondering if Sarah had a broader point.

"It's like…they're so pure and untainted…Maggie, Noah, Wyatt…there's so much potential in those three little people. It's crazy. I love it. They can be anything they want."

"They can," Olivia murmured, "It's also…a little daunting. To think we're responsible for giving them the foundation, the values, the morals, the right opportunities…to help them discover whatever it is that makes them happy and successful. But…I _gladly_ accept the challenge."

"You're such a good mother."

"Thank you, sweetie."

Sarah watched Ed toss the ball into Noah's waiting arms and heard him praise the boy for an "awesome catch." Noah ran a few yards toward an invisible goal that was known only to him, spiked the football, and did a little dance to celebrate the score. Ed ran over to him, his arms in the air, and yelled "touchdown!"

"Kay, Daddy!" Noah picked up the ball, "I'm QB now." Ed jogged a few steps. Noah wound up and heaved the small football in a high arc. Ed made the catch and Noah shouted. "RUN!"

"Looks like the first one in need of a late-morning nap will be Daddy," Sarah said.

"I don't know," Olivia replied, "He seems to have vast reserves of energy…"

"Mmmmmhmmm," Sarah droned facetiously.

She and Olivia shared a laugh. When anyone else dared joke with Olivia about her personal life, she quickly and expertly diverted the conversation. However, Sarah's brazen comments and inquiries were always so genuine and charming that Olivia had come to enjoy giving her bits and pieces of information. Or, in this case, she simply laughed, and let Sarah's imagination run wild.

Inside, Brooke and Sonny poured cups of coffee and shared a tender kiss before walking out onto the porch. They acted normally. Said good morning. Fussed over the babies. Cracked a joke about the bikini. Remarked that there was not a cloud in the sky. Suggested renting jet skis or a boat.

Sarah, however, sensed a change in what she would later describe as their "collective couple vibe."

"OMIGOD!"

Every head, including the babies' jerked in her direction, but Sarah's eyes were fixed on the shiny addition to Brooke's left hand.

"YOU'RE FREAKING ENGAGED?"

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	27. Chapter 27

**Twenty-Seven.**

Noah sprinted over, bounded the four wooden steps, and shimmied his way into the semi-huddle Olivia and Sarah made around Brooke. Sonny stood back, smirking proudly and shook Ed's outstretched hand. It had been several months since the secret conversation in Ed's office, and with the baby excitement and the holidays, Ed regrettably forgot about Sonny's plans. Of course, Olivia was privy to the secret, but she, too, had been distracted. Figuring his Lieutenant had other things on her mind, Sonny refrained from personal conversations at work. Nevertheless, he took Ed's advice to heart. He patiently waited for the right time.

"Noey! You're gonna have to break out your tux again!"

Noah grabbed Brooke's wrist because that's what everyone else was doing. "That _shiiiiiiiiny_ ," he said.

"It sure is, sweet boy," Olivia said softly, still a little in shock. For some reason, she assumed the proposal would happen in public, around the family, but, on second thought, considering Brooke's personality, Carisi had done the right thing.

The ring was a classic solitaire, platinum with a square-cut diamond like Olivia's. Sonny correctly predicted Brooke would prefer something understated, and she absolutely glowed as everyone fawned over the new bauble.

Sarah, clutching Wyatt around his middle at her side, asked the most obvious question. "When exactly did _this_ happen?"

When she spoke, Sarah moved wildly and Ed grabbed for Wyatt but Sarah turned away from him, tightened her grip around the baby, and gave her Dad a look that said _, happy now_? Wyatt took it all in stride. His eyes darted around, finding new and interesting sights to focus on, apparently already used to the sometimes-chaotic nature of his family.

Sonny and Brooke smiled at each other, and he nodded, allowing her to control how much of the proposal to reveal.

"About an hour ago," Brooke said. "I woke up…and there he was. With the box."

"Omigod," Sarah gasped. Needing an outlet for her emotions, she kissed the back of Wyatt's head repeatedly.

Ed kissed Brooke on the cheek. "Congratulations, sweetheart."

"Thank you, Dad."

Ed's gesture prompted Olivia to hug and kiss Brooke. "We're so happy for you two," she said, "What a great surprise."

"Good thing she said yes," Sonny joked, "Or this woulda been an awkward last three days."

"Sonny, you give dis to Brookey?" Noah asked, almost in an accusatory tone. He stood, arms akimbo, in the middle of the group.

"Yeah, Noah. Whaddya think?"

"It verrrrrry shiny," he repeated.

"Noah, Brooke and Sonny are going to get married. Like your Daddy and I got married. Remember?"

Noah twisted his lips as he thought. "Uh-huh! I wear da shiny shoes!"

"Yes, sweet boy, you did. We'll have to get you a new pair when Brookey and Sonny get married. If…if you'll need them." Olivia quickly realized Brooke may not want such a formal service. Then again, Sonny had strong Catholic roots.

"We're in no hurry," Sonny said, "We…" he put his hands on Brooke's shoulders, "We wanna enjoy this part."

"Sare bear," Noah tugged at Sarah's tank top, "You get married, too." It was a statement, not a question, and everyone but Sarah held a collective breath.

Only, the formerly-most-volatile member of the Tucker clan simply laughed. "Oh, Noey, you don't miss a beat, do you? Sare bear actually got _unmarried_."

"Mommy and Daddy get unmarried?"

Sarah finally handed Wyatt over to Ed and she squatted so she and Noah were face-to-face. "No way. Mommy and Daddy are the perfectest couple ever on Earth. You know that though, don't you? Think about it." She tapped Noah's head. "Doesn't Daddy kiss Mommy all the time?"

Noah grinned. "Uh-HUH! Daddy ALWAYS kiss Mommy!"

All eyes focused on Ed. Instead of grumbling or being embarrassed, he sassed, "What? Like this?" He then traversed their little circle and planted a smooch on his wife's lips, careful not to squish the infants they both held.

"Omigod."

"Ewwwww!" Noah exclaimed.

"I'm gonna kiss you, Noey!"

Noah took off toward the beach and Sarah ran after him. Ed kissed the babies' heads and kissed Olivia again. Sonny slung his arm around Brooke's shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Maggie started crying. Sarah's threats to smother Noah with kisses grew louder as they ran back in the direction of the house. The screen door slammed as Ed went to get a bottle.

Brooke and Sonny sat together on the swing, both appreciating the newfound sense of peace that diamond solitaire brought to their lives.

…..

Ed lathered conditioner into Olivia's hair, and she leaned her head back, fully appreciating the feel of his fingers massaging her scalp. She also felt an inordinate amount of product being applied to her tresses, but she didn't say a word. Too much only meant Ed would have to work extra hard to rinse everything, which meant more massaging, which was perfectly fine with her.

Olivia had been soaking in the claw-foot tub for almost a half hour when Ed came in. Sonny, Brooke, and Sarah had gone out for drinks at a few local bars, Maggie and Wyatt were taking their typical late-evening snooze before the eleven p.m. bottle, and Noah had already been bathed, read to, and tucked in bed.

"Want some wine or anything?" He asked as he shuffled through his toiletries, pretending to look for something imminently necessary.

"No," She replied, "But…c'mere."

He leaned down to kiss her.

"What a day," she said.

"It was." He crouched behind her and started washing her hair. "Maggie is not allowed to wear a bikini again until she's thirty."

Olivia chuckled gently. "Okay, Daddy."

He dipped his head and whispered in her ear, "I love it when you call me that."

Olivia tilted her head into his touch. "We haven't had any time alone," she pointed out, "To talk about…you know…Brooke and Carisi."

"I knew it was comin."

"Well, I guess I did, too," Olivia said, "But I thought it was on the backburner…he hadn't said anything to me."

"Nor to me."

"Really?"

Ed reversed the circular pattern he was making on Olivia's head. "You think I woulda kept that from you?"

"Of course not. We were just…a little busy."

Ed kissed her behind the ear. "We sure were." He kissed her neck and then bit at her ear. "God, you taste go good."

"So, you're good with it?"

"With Carisi marrying Brooke? Of course. I told you. I like the guy." Ed continued kissing her.

"Do you…do you think there's any conflict of interest?"

"With you and Carisi?"

"Yeah."

Ed moved around to the other side of the tub and perched himself on the edge. "Nah. You're not responsible for promoting him. You do his annual reviews…but Rollins and Dodds get input too. As you know," Ed smirked at her, "We have pretty loose nepotism policies."

"And it's not nepotism anyway."

"No."

Olivia put a wet hand on Ed's bare knee. "I'm…I still think about _Community Affairs_."

Ed's cocky, confident expression faded. "Are we ever going to get past that?"

" _Hey_ ," Olivia sat up a little and firmed up her grip on his leg. "We're way, way past that, Ed. You know that, right?"

He sniffed and shrugged. "Yeah."

" _Ed_."

His eyes moved from the bathroom's intricate crown molding to the light gray walls, to the antique-looking mirrors above the floating double sinks. The house was certainly a combination of period detail and modern flair.

"Ed?"

"I still think about it, too," Ed admitted and managed to look her in the eyes, "But it scares me. Because I almost lost ya there."

"No you didn't," Olivia was firm, "At what point did you think you almost lost me?"

"When you got transferred."

"I called you as soon as I found out. You spent the night with me that night. Before you had to go to Group One."

"I kept waitin' for you to tell me…we weren't worth it."

Olivia's eyes widened. She wasn't mad or annoyed…she and Ed had a lot of history and it was bound to pose an obstacle every once in a while, but she was surprised this particular detail hadn't come up before. After he was cleared, Ed sincerely thanked her for believing in him and risking her job to support him during that maddening week, but he never let on that, in the aftermath, he was walking on eggshells, waiting for the bottom to drop out.

"That has never been true," Olivia said. " _We_ have always been worth it."

Ed smiled sheepishly and narrowed his eyes. "How exactly did we get on this subject?"

"My detective is marrying your daughter."

"Oh yeah."

"Liv?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"I _did_ almost lose you once."

Olivia pressed her eyes closed. He was referring to the brief breakup a few months into their relationship. After Paris, Olivia dove into her work, a few cases hit too close to home and she worried more than usual about Noah, and it seemed like Ed had been relegated to the sidelines. She thought she was doing him a favor by breaking it off, but it only made her feel worse and they quickly reconciled. But the abrupt break broke Ed's heart, and, when they got back together, he told her so.

Olivia lifted herself out of the bath. Ed was fully clothed, but she didn't care. She took him into her arms. Kissed his forehead. His cheeks. His nose. And, finally, his lips.

"You did no such thing," she said, shoving him a little so he stood up. She tugged at his gray t-shirt. "That was all me." She said, her lips brushing his. "All me. But, baby, we don't need to go back there, do we?"

"I dunno," Ed replied, his eyes searching hers. "Do we?"

"Please, Ed. Don't do this. Don't make yourself crazy by inventing a problem. We've been through," Olivia shook her head as if she'd been smacked in the face, "We've been through so much, individually and as a couple. Ed, but we got through it. As us. And we'll get through the next challenge. As us. _Together_."

Ed played with her hair, it was still soaked and not exactly rinsed of all the conditioner. "You always make me feel better, Liv. I don't know…I don't know, after all those years, I still don't get it."

"Get what?"

By now, Olivia knew Ed's eyes. She knew the IAB eyes, accusatory and menacing. He didn't use those very often anymore. She knew his fatherly eyes, the ones that radiated with pride when he looked at Noah, Wyatt, and Maggie. Then there were the eyes he reserved only for her—the eyes that were capable of taking her breath away, of undressing her in a room full of people, of sending chills down her spine.

But the way he looked at her now…this was unusual. A combination of regret, sadness, and appreciation filled those blue irises, and he explained a regret he'd explained many times before.

"I don't get how…I don't get how I coulda been so stupid."

"Stupid?"

"To not just ask you out…at first…all those years ago when we had the Trapani case, the one where the guy was-"

Olivia put a finger over his lips. "I remember the case. I remember you. And me…at that time of my life…we would've never worked then, Ed. Stop, baby. Stop beating yourself up. Stop second guessing. I don't regret anything, but I want to make the most of the time we have together. I feel the urgency, too…but I also want to enjoy each day. I don't want those little ones to grow up too fast. I want each moment." She ran an index finger along his cheek. "And you have no idea how much I love seeing you be a Daddy."

"I love our kids so much."

"I know you do. I see it. They see it and feel it. Maggie's already a Daddy's girl."

"She does kinda calm down when she's with me."

"Yes she does."

"Wyatt's just always happy."

"Maggie's happy, too. She really likes to be entertained."

"Yeah." Ed's eyes glossed over a bit, "I'm…that's the thing. Liv, if I die tomorrow, which I don't want, but if I have to, I wanna think about my family, and I wanna think about everyone smiling."

"You have a lot of smiles left to witness," Olivia said, her voice shaking, "A lot of smiles."

"And now I've made you cry again."

"It's kind of like a smile."

Ed held her to his chest. "I know."

…

Wednesday marked the final full day of everyone at the beach. Sonny, Brooke, and Sarah all were leaving Thursday afternoon right after a promised session of mini golf and go karts with Noah. Today, however, they were spending most of their day on rented jet skis. Sonny, Brooke, and Sarah took them out on their own at first and then Brooke and Sarah gave up their machine so Ed could take Noah. The little boy could hardly contain his excitement as Ed buckled him into his life jacket.

"Gonna race ya, Sonny!" Noah exclaimed. "Gonna go fast!"

Olivia nervously looked out at the water. It was calm and she wholeheartedly trusted Ed, but she was still a little apprehensive about the ride. Noah took off to the shore with Sonny and Ed hung back for a second.

"I'll be careful," he reassured her, kissing her head.

"Of course."

They guys eased out into the surf and Olivia relaxed when she saw Ed staying close to the shore and driving back and forth in straight lines. She took a few pictures, trying to zoom in as much as possible, and joined the girls and the babies on the large NYPD blanket. Wyatt and Maggie were in their bouncy seats with the canopies attached. They were also under the cabana and wearing their tiny wrap-around sunglasses. Maggie wore a purple sundress and Wyatt was in a lobster-themed shorts and tank-top set.

"So, Brookey, we're going to have to start planning."

"No engagement party," Brooke said. " _One_ shower. And, we haven't even set a date, so don't get too excited."

Sarah put her hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay. I understand. I'll be patient."

Brooke focused her attention on the babies. "It'll probably be a year."

"A _year_?"

"Like we said, there's no rush and I want to enjoy being engaged. Enjoy how it feels to, you know, be like this."

"That's probably for the best," Sarah said. She furrowed her brow and turned to Olivia. "Livvie, I never did get the story of how Daddy proposed."

"Do you have to know every story?" Brooke asked. She picked up Wyatt, laid on her back, and lifted him up and down.

"Yes I do," Sarah replied curtly.

Olivia grinned. "It wasn't that exciting actually. It just kind of happened. We were in the middle of a conversation and, all of a sudden, he blurts out, _I want to marry you_."

" _Gahhhhhhh_ ," Sarah collapsed into Olivia's lap. "Someone needs to write a book about you two. Or a tv show. Brookey, I'm sorry, but Daddy and Livvie are. So. Romantical!"

"That's not a word."

"I don't care."

Sarah's phone rang and she frowned at the screen. "Ugh. It's work." Sarah wandered down the beach to take the call.

"Okay, Wyatt, Brookey's gonna put ya down and give Mags a turn!"

Olivia held out her arms, "I'll take him. C'mere big guy." She sat him on her lap, facing her, "You keep getting more and more handsome every day, don't you Wyatt Edward?" Wyatt smacked his lips and smiled. His round, chubby face lit up and his blue eyes sparkled as he watched his mother.

After a few reps with Maggie, Brooke sat up. "Whew! That's a good workout!"

"Sure is," Olivia agreed. "Oh, they're coming in."

Ed and Sonny secured the jet skis. Noah trudged through the sand and squatted in front of his brother and sister. Olivia and Brooke could feel the coolness of the ocean coming from his skin. "You see us, babies? We go fast and we raced and we winned!" Noah imitated holding the handlebars and he zigzagged through the sand. "We go zoom! Vroom! Zoom!"

"We all saw you, sweet boy! You and Daddy did a great job!"

"Liv?" Ed joined them, life jacket still on, "You wanna go for a spin before we haveta return them?"

"Sure."

Sonny grabbed a towel, quickly dried himself, and took Wyatt. Olivia and Ed walked back to the jet skis. Ed slid his arm around her waist and she reciprocated. Sonny and Brooke watched from the blanket.

"Those two," Sonny said, smiling, "Put every other couple to shame."

"Ah," Brooke said, "I think _we're_ pretty enviable."

"Think so?" Sonny leaned over for a quick kiss.

Brooked grinned. "I do."

…..

Ed watched Olivia give Maggie and Wyatt their late-night feedings on the bed. With all of the running around and beach going, the twins had been taking their milk from bottles most of the vacation, and Olivia looked forward to these eleven p.m. sessions when it was just her, Ed, and the babies.

Ed's first wife did not breastfeed, and, at first, he wasn't sure if Olivia wanted him around or not when they fed, knowing how important the bonding experience was for mother and children. After she assured him that he was welcome, these nights became special rituals for the four of them. Still, as he saw the two sets of eyes gaze contentedly at their mother, he sometimes felt like he was being too intrusive.

"Three months old," He said softly, grabbing Maggie's foot.

"Three months old," Olivia repeated. "And so healthy and smiley."

"And gorgeous."

"They really are."

"Monday. Monday I'm gonna talk to the DA. See if he was serious about the part time gig. I…I can't miss this, Liv."

"I know." Olivia took a deep breath. "Do you…do think it's the wrong decision for me to go back to work?"

"Of course not," Ed quickly replied. "Is that what you think? Because that's not the case. I'm tired of working, Liv. My heart's not exactly in it anymore. Yours is."

"It is…but…promise you don't think less of me because I'm going back?"

Ed straightened up so he could kiss her cheek and look her directly in the eyes. "I promise. And there is nothing, ever, that could make me think less of you." His stare was intense and it took her breath away. Ed had a way of conveying his utmost love, honesty, and affection through those dazzling blue eyes of his. "You are the best wife and mother. I know I say it too much, but I love you. I love you more than life itself."

"You can never say it too much. And. I love _you_." Olivia peered down at Wyatt who had apparently had enough. "Wanna take him?"

"Yeah. C'mere big guy." Ed leaned back against the pillows and patted Wyatt on the back. The little boy held his head up and looked around, alert as ever.

Olivia shifted Maggie to a different hold as the baby girl continued eating.

Ed coaxed two burps from Wyatt and leaned back, partially resting his head against Olivia. He sat the baby on his chest and gently caught his little hands in his mouth as Wyatt batted at his face.

"Alright," With Maggie finished and burped, Olivia pulled her shirt back over her chest, "Ready to put them in bed?"

"Nah," Ed scooted closer to Olivia. "Let's stay here for a little while longer. This is nice."

The ocean breeze wafted in through the open windows, and waves crashed in the distance. Olivia played with Ed's hair with her free hand.

"It sure is," she murmured. "It sure is."

….


	28. Chapter 28

**Twenty-Eight.**

As he lathered baby shampoo onto Wyatt's head, Ed realized he may have taken too courageous of a step when he decided to give the twins a bath. He had a well-thought-out plan. With the twins fed and clean, he could plop them in their walkers or their bouncy seats and the four of them could hang out and watch the baseball game until Olivia came home. She would relax for a while and nurse the twins while Ed gave Noah his bath. Then, the five of them would read their nightly books and be tucked in bed. Maggie and Wyatt would wake up around midnight for another feeding, but their routine was to put all three kids in bed at the same time. In this gap of three hours, Ed and Olivia would have _their_ time—a late dinner, maybe a glass of wine or bourbon, conversation, and, always, more than a few kisses.

Emboldened by a string of smooth afternoons and evenings with all three younger children, Ed decided he and Noah could handle baby bath time. He let the tub fill with lukewarm bath water, set the babies in their plastic seats, and let them splash away for a little while before smothering them in their baby body wash and, finally, the shampoo. Wyatt, the most content and least squirmy, cooperated well. He let his arms dangle into the water and gazed up at his Daddy as he tilted the baby's head back to rinse, careful not to get any sudsy water in his eyes. With everything rinsed away, Ed gently ran the warm washcloth over Wyatt's face.

"Where's Wyatt?"

After a second he removed it with a flourish.

"There he is!"

Wyatt smiled and squealed and Ed repeated the move a few more times. He loved the way Wyatt's long dark lashes fused together when they were wet.

"Daddy!"

Noah had been playing along with the tub version of peek-a-boo, but Maggie suddenly straightened and stiffened her body and started slithering into the water. Ed tossed the washcloth aside but not before Noah reached for her and fell, face-first, into the tub. For a split second he was able to catch himself, but his hands slipped and he lurched forward, partially colliding with Maggie and causing both of them to burst into tears.

Ed lifted Noah out of the tub, keeping one hand on Maggie so her head was above the water. Once Noah was on his feet, Ed wrapped Maggie in a towel, cradled her in one arm, and pulled Noah to his side with the other. Noah, more startled than physically hurt, sniffled and tried to choke back his sobs. Unaffected by any of the commotion and maybe even a little entertained, Wyatt kicked and flailed his arms with more rapidity but remained compliantly curled in his chair.

"It's okay, bud. Calm down." Ed held him at arm's length for a few seconds to inspect his mouth for blood. "You're okay. Just a little accident."

"I hurted small sister," Noah wailed into his shoulder. Both the little boy's tears and the boy's now-soaked t-shirt began saturating Ed's polo.

"No ya didn't, pal," Ed shifted Noah so he could see Maggie who was quickly recovering, "Ya both just got a little scare. You did a good job not fallin' right on her."

"Mags, you try to get outta your seat!" Noah scolded her through his tears. "I try to save you!"

Ed kissed the side of Noah's head. "Calm down, buddy. Breathe." He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Go ahead. Take a deep breath like I did. C'mon. Deep breath."

Noah followed instructions and finally started to breathe normally and stop crying, but his eyes were still red and his cheeks were tear-stained. "Small sister 'posedta stay in da chair!"

"I know bud," Ed readjusted his grip on Maggie so she was more upright, "Small sister is just gettin' tired of not being able to run around and play with you! She wants to crawl and walk!"

"Mags, you still too little!"

"And lookit Wyatt."

A smile finally crossed Noah's face. "He just playin' in da baff still!"

Ed swore he saw a smugness in Wyatt's expression as if he were momentarily basking in the limelight of being the child not causing any problems.

"Yeah, he is. Hey, let's get that wet shirt off of ya. We'll get Wyatt dried off and watch the game."

"But we didn't wash small sister's _hayerrrr_!"

"We didn't? Ya sure?" Ed was hoping Noah would reconsider. Missing one shampoo wouldn't hurt Maggie and he wasn't itching to get the babies back in the bathtub when he'd just settled one crisis. That was enough for the day.

His memory, though, was too sharp. "Did. Not. Wash. Her. _Hayerrr_!"

"Ok bud," Ed relented. "We'll wash her hair real quick. I'm gonna hold her right here. Get her washcloth and the shampoo for me." Ed squeezed a miniscule amount of shampoo onto the cloth and handed it to Noah. "Go ahead, be gentle."

Noah tenderly ran the cloth across Maggie's scalp. He pursed his lips in concentration until he was satisfied her fine tresses were clean. "Okay, baby. All done."

"Good job, bud," Ed reached to turn on a trickle of water and held the washcloth under it. He wiped away the excess shampoo and put the hooded part of the towel over Maggie's head. "Small sister's all clean."

"Clean little ducky!" Noah exclaimed. "Let's get bruvver's bear towel!"

"Hi everyone!" From the doorway, Olivia smiled down at what had to, from her perspective, look like chaos even though, in that particular moment, Ed was feeling pretty proud of himself, like a soldier who'd returned from battle unharmed.

"Mommy!"

Despite Noah being wet from the waist up, Olivia picked him up and held him in a tight bear hug against her ivory blouse. "Hi my sweet Noah."

"We gived da babies a baff."

"I see that."

"Small sister got outta her SEAT!"

"She _did_?" Olivia asked, eyes wide with exaggerated interest.

"Uh-huh! I try to help her, but I CRASHED!" Noah made a whooshing noise.

Imagining the scenario, Olivia repeated Ed's earlier examination of Noah's mouth, "Oh, no! Did you get hurt?"

"I okay. Small sister okay, too."

Olivia looked down at Maggie who was blowing spit bubbles and wiggling away happily on the plush rug. "She sure looks okay. She's probably feels so good that you tried to help her. You're such a good big brother."

Ed hoisted both swaddled twins in his arms and stood up. "This little girl," he pressed a kiss to Maggie's forehead, "Is gonna be a handful. You shoulda seen her, I swear she tried to stand up."

"And what was little man doing this whole time you were doing bathtub rescue?"

"Sittin there," Ed replied with a smirk.

Olivia laughed and stroked Wyatt's cheek. "You _are_ a little warrior, aren't you, baby boy?"

"Cool under pressure like his Mama."

Olivia easily caught the desire in Ed's eyes and she felt her neck flush in response. Ed Tucker managed to flirt with her under any circumstances. "Okay Tucker babies. Let's get everyone dressed and dry so we can eat dinner."

Noah, still in his mother's arms, pointed to Maggie and Wyatt, " _Dose_ da babies! I da big bruvver!"

Olivia kissed each of Noah's cheeks. "You'll always be my baby, sweet boy. Always. Now, what do you want for dinner?"

"Pizza!"

"You know what?" Olivia glanced at her husband who was desperately trying to mask his weariness. "I think we all probably deserve a pizza tonight."

…..

Chief Dodds strolled into the Lieutenant's office and through the closed door. He didn't bother knocking. Olivia saw him march into the squad room, so she was aware of her visitor's identity. However, as passive-aggressive payback for the rudeness, she did not immediately acknowledge him. He stood in front of her desk with his hands in his pockets for a few uncomfortable seconds while Olivia dragged out the last sentence of an email.

"What can I do for you Chief?" She asked, her bespectacled face still staring at the laptop's screen.

"Checking in," he replied with his typical pompousness. "Getting back into the swing of things?"

"Yes."

"Saw that guy from the _Ledger_ on my way in."

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded, unsure why the chief was mentioning the encounter. Giving updates to the press was one of her duties. Dodds apparently wasn't interested in an answer. He tilted his head to the side to get a better view of the growing set of picture frames set up behind Olivia on the windowsill and her credenza.

"Those recent?"

Olivia spun around only to momentarily break eye contact with him. "Yes. Well, from earlier this month." One of the two Bethany Beach photos included Sarah, and the memory of Ed punching Chief Dodds made Olivia uncomfortable.

"Well, your Sergeant and the squad certainly proved themselves while you were away," Dodds said flatly, "But I'm glad you're back. Less time I have to spend here."

 _Let's hope so_ , Olivia thought. In addition to the whole debacle involving Sarah, Dodds represented a connection to one of the lowest points in her career as commanding officer. His presence always took her back to that fateful spring day two years ago.

"But, don't forget, you do have a strong squad, so, don't be afraid to use them." He stood up and even offered a slight smile, "Be a shame to not be with those babies as much as possible." As usual, there was a bite in Dodds' congeniality.

Olivia stiffened and sat up straighter. The lull in their exchange allowed her to hear a faint yet spirited voice say something ending with "brother-in-law." Sure enough, there was Sarah, beaming with pride as she spoke to Carisi and Fin in the squad room. Seconds later, she was in the office with the person Olivia remembered as Hillary at her side.

Sarah's wide smile disappeared immediately and she stared at the floor as she mumbled, "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had a visitor. Hi, uh, hi Bill."

 _Bill_?

Dodds maintained his composure. "How are you, Sarah?"

"I'm…I'm very well, thanks." She wasn't lying, and her newfound peace with her life and success in her career jolted her with confidence. "How are you?"

"Good, good," Dodds shifted his attention to Hillary. "Hello."

Hillary shook his outstretched hand and introduced herself. "I work at Sarah's firm."

Sarah scrutinized the too-long handshake with narrow eyes. "Well, um, Livvie, we can come back if you're busy, I—"

"I was just on my way out," Dodds interjected. "Have a nice afternoon."

With Dodds gone, Sarah relaxed and the color returned to her face; however, like her father, the defined jaw line and cheekbones remained. Olivia thought of Maggie and how, at almost four months old, the infant already resembled the Tucker side of the family, and Sarah continually emphasized that resemblance with pride. Emphasizing Sarah's facial features was the typical tight ponytail she almost always wore to the office. She and Hillary were dressed in nearly identical camel-colored skirt-and-blazer combinations. Each wore darker brown heels. Sarah's were significantly taller than Hillary's and Olivia smiled when she saw them. Sarah's ability to smoothly navigate city sidewalks and subway stairs with ostentatious footwear was just another one of her charms.

"Livvie. It's Thursday." She tugged on her leopard-print blouse, "Jeez Lou-ISE it's hot in here."

"It is a little warm. And…it is Thursday." Olivia wondered if she'd forgotten something significant about this particular day of the week.

"We're getting our nails done," Sarah explained. "We were invited to go play golf, but I hate golf."

"Do you play golf, Hillary?" Olivia asked graciously.

"I have played before," she replied, "But I'm terrible. And I get the sense, at least by the way they were talking, that the guys are pretty good. And competitive." Hillary tucked a piece of her light brown bobbed hair behind an ear and eyed the walls uncomfortably, feeling out of place. Sarah cajoled her from the office on the premise that they were going to get a quick manicure, but the one errand had turned into lunch and a visit to the Sixteenth Precinct. Dragging out the visit was that Sarah seemed to know everyone and made sure to stop and say hello.

"And if we can't win, I don't wanna play," Sarah added. "So. Are you leaving early and going with us? Come on! We were just out there and the city has never felt more secure. Also, I already told Sonny we were going."

Olivia examined her hands. Before the twins were born she got semi-regular manicures, but she couldn't remember the last time she had one and it showed. "I'm in." She said. "Give me a minute."

Sarah clapped her hands. "Great! Then we can go see our babies and Noey. I need some little brother and small sister time, because, guess what?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"We're going to Argentina Monday!"

…..

After dinner that night, Ed, Olivia, Noah, and the twins went for a walk in the park. They lived closer to DeWitt Clinton but opted to head for Central Park instead. The August night was pleasant and, thanks to Sarah, Olivia had returned home much earlier than usual. Noah packed the storage area under the stroller with his soccer ball and football, cleats, and new receiver gloves. The gloves were a gift from Sonny and Brooke who recently attended a Jets preseason game. Both Olivia and Ed eyed the cleats skeptically but allowed Noah to include them anyway. They also withheld objections to the shin guards which he added at the last minute.

"Want to take your scooter, bud?" Ed asked before they left.

"Nope!" Noah replied cheerfully, "I help push da babies." One of Noah's favorite things to do was walk alongside the stroller with one hand on the edge and narrate the sights of "Ma'hattan." The little boy adored his city, and told the twins all about eating "hoddogs," riding bikes along the river, taking the subway, and ice skating in the winter.

Olivia pushed the stroller along Central Park West and Ed playfully bumped into her every block or so under the premise that something on the street had diverted his attention and thrown him off stride.

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath, the corners of his mouth curling upwards as he tried not to smile.

Of course, Olivia wasn't fooled. "Do you want to take over, Captain?"

"Nah. I like watching you."

"You like running into me."

"That too."

They entered the park at Sixty-Fifth Street and meandered along the path, planning to do so until Noah requested to stop, but he seemed content to babble with the babies for the time being. Ed walked proudly, imagining at least a handful of people were watching him escort his beautiful family through one of New York City's most picturesque landmarks. He placed a hand on the small of Olivia's back, needing to touch her, feel her energy, and subtly let her know that he craved the feel of her body even if it was for only a few paces and over a layer of her shirt.

"Did Sarah mention how long they'll be gone?" Ed asked. She and Hillary hadn't stayed at the apartment long. They were meeting their team for drinks and dinner somewhere in Chelsea.

"She did to me earlier. A week. Maybe longer if the negotiations don't go as smoothly as they predict."

"Well, with her, they probably _will_ go smoothly," Ed predicted, "But she may throw the whole thing to stay longer."

Olivia laughed and agreed. "She has been talking about a trip like this for a while."

"Your nails look nice."

Olivia lifted a hand. "Thank you. I thought it was a little too dark at first, but in this light it's not."

Ed grabbed her hand and scrutinized the greenish gray polish. "It _is_ a little punk."

"I used to wear colors like this a long time ago, so I thought I'd go…retro Olivia."

Ed kissed her hand, "I love any Olivia."

"Good," she said decisively, signaling a change in subject, "Remember that after I tell you this next thing."

"Uh-oh," he grumbled.

"When Sarah and Hillary came to my office today…Dodds was there."

Ed took a quick peek of Maggie and Wyatt, ensconced in their seats and mostly obscured by their sunshades. Still, he could see both pairs of tiny bare feet, kicking along in response to something Noah was saying. The big brother was now rapping one of the rattles in time to whatever beat was playing in his head.

The familiar rage began simmering in Ed's chest where it always originated before traveling up to this throat and then, inevitably spilling out in the form of clenched-jaw invective. Only this time, seeing those twenty little toes immediately quelled his anger.

"That musta been…awkward."

Amazed by this tame reaction, Olivia slowed and spoke hesitantly, "It was…for a second…but he left quickly."

"They say anything to each other?"

"Routine hellos and how are yous. Oh, and Sarah introduced him to Hillary."

"Great. Where's _her_ father again? He may wanna come up here."

This time, Olivia nudged Ed. "I'm proud of you," she said, "I thought you'd…take it differently."

"Liv," Ed grasped the stroller handle, yanking their procession to a stop. "I'm not wasting time on…that. No use in it." He kissed her quickly because Noah was now tugging at his shorts.

"Daddy! We play wiff da ball now?"

"Yeah, pal. Let's head down to the fields."

Olivia leaned up for another kiss. "I love you," she whispered as she pulled away.

"I love you, too."

Dodds' " _be a shame to not be with those babies as much as possible"_ still stuck in her head, and she wanted to talk to her husband about it, but she shelved it for the time being. Of immediate importance was her role in Noah's demonstration of the wide range of his athletic abilities.

They spread out a small blanket in a shaded area. Olivia sat with the twins and watched what would become a regular Noah Porter Benson Tucker tutorial.

"Okay, Mommy," Noah said as he pried the soccer ball from the basket. "You hold dose babies jus' like dat."

Olivia kissed their heads. "We're watching, sweet Noah. What's first?"

Noah booted the ball to Ed who was stationed a few yards away. "Dat my BIG KICK!" Noah came back over to the blanket, crouched, hands on his knees, and said, "You see? Dat's how ya do it! Now we gotta get the ball from Daddy!"

Ed had already taken off at a slow trot, toeing the ball, waiting for Noah to catch up. When he did, Ed put up only mild resistance to Noah stealing the ball and his hands flew to his face in exaggerated exasperation that Noah was now sprinting away from him with the prize.

"C'mon, Daddy! Come an' get me!"

Olivia hugged the twins to her. True to their burgeoning personalities, Wyatt reclined against her, though he alertly held his head up for several minutes at a time, observing the action. He gripped Olivia's shirt with one hand and held a plastic toy with the other. When Noah and Ed came closer to the blanket, he waved it in a burst of energy as if to prove he, too, was engaging in some physical activity.

"Wow, Wyatt!" Olivia cooed, "You have on the appropriate outfit, purely by coincidence." Indeed, he wore a onesie printed with basketballs, footballs, and baseballs.

Unlike her brother, Maggie owned no sports-themed attire. This was partially due to the relative lack of it designed for girls, but mostly because Sarah had purchased most of her clothes, and they were very much on the traditionally-feminine side of the spectrum.

Maggie moved constantly. As usual, she kicked and flailed her arms, often sending her own rattles and toys flying in all directions, making Olivia strain to grab them and still maintain a safe hold on both her infants.

"Slow down, precious babies," she whispered with her lips pressed to Wyatt's head. "I know you want to get out there, but don't grow up too fast. Mommy is so, _so_ very happy right now."

She managed to blink back her tears right before Noah returned to trade the soccer ball for the football.

"Time for da TIGHSSPIRAL!" He shouted and heaved the ball at Ed. "You watchin' babies?"

"We're still watching!" Olivia called out to him. "Great throw! You think Daddy can throw it that far?"

Even from a short distance away, Olivia caught her husband's cocky wink as he sailed the ball back to their son.

…

 **#Tuckson**


	29. Chapter 29

**Twenty-nine. Late August, 2018**

Ed Tucker hadn't donned a suit for a month. The pants fit more tightly than he remembered. Either he'd gained a little weight or he'd simply grown accustomed to his cargo shorts and jeans. He slid his regular belt through the loops. Moment of truth. He tightened the leather through the buckle, his eye on the broken-in, worn leather guarding the hole he always used.

It fit.

Barely.

"What time do you have to be there?"

Olivia's voice startled him. He flinched and then smiled sheepishly at her through the mirror.

"Sorry." She leaned against the counter and sized him up. "You look nice."

He sucked in his gut. "You think I've put on a few pounds?"

"Isn't it the woman who's supposed to be worried about that after having babies?" Olivia was joking, but Ed continued to tug at his waistband with a concerned expression. "I really don't think so," she said apologetically, "Maybe…you're just not used to these pants?"

"That's what I thought at first," he mumbled, "But they're tailored pants."

"Want to try another pair?"

"Nah," he said resolutely and reached for his tie, "I can handle it for a couple hours." Ed had been asked to speak to a Criminal Psychology class at John Jay College. It came on short notice and he'd spent the last two days preparing remarks while hoping the talk would turn into more of a question-and-answer session rather than a lecture. Despite the tight pants, he was excited to share his expertise and do something police-related again. After they returned from the beach, he'd quietly submitted his retirement paperwork only to be hired back as a part-time consultant. Part of his duties were with CIU, though he was given an office at Internal Affairs and would work with their commanding officers to train new investigators. He liked and appreciated the flexibility extended to him; however, there hadn't been much for him to do since he made the switch, so he had been in full-time Daddy mode.

"I can't wait to hear about it." Olivia smiled encouragingly and put a hand on his chest. She liked seeing him back in a suit. Not many men wore one as well as he did. As far as she was concerned, her husband always epitomized masculinity, strength, and power, but the suit amplified those qualities.

"Hope I don't screw it up."

"Don't talk like that. I can't think of anyone more qualified."

Ed grinned at her. "Sure you don't wanna come along?"

When Ed ran some suggested anecdotes by her before they fell asleep each night, they joked about him using all of the times he interrogated Olivia as example stories and then ending the lecture by dropping the bombshell that the cop under investigation in all those instances now was his wife.

"I don't think so."

"I'll hurry back."

"Just…enjoy yourself. We're fine." Olivia kissed him. Deep down she worried that he was already starting to miss going to work and that he would quickly lose enthusiasm for their new arrangement.

"What are you and the kids gonna do?"

Out of habit, Olivia looked at her wrist, but she'd jettisoned her watch as soon as she returned home earlier that evening. She saw Ed's watch on the counter and picked it up. "We're probably in for the night," she said, "I'll leave the planning up to Noah. And…Sarah will probably Face Time later."

"I think we hear from her more when she's five thousand miles away than when she's right here in the city."

Sarah had been gone for four days and had Face Timed every night and two of the mornings. "She loves her family."

"Can't blame her for that."

Noah's voice and a baby wail interrupted the ensuing kiss. "Mommy! Maggie's cryin!"

The babies were in their swing seats in the living room and Noah had been sitting in front of them, drawing their portraits on his iPad. As she and Ed always did, Olivia instructed Noah not to try to take them out of the seats.

"I know, Mommy," Noah had moaned, "I'm still too little to carry 'em." Noah was, however, very good and very willing to notify his parents whenever the babies needed anything.

In the living room, Olivia stood over the swing seats, shaking her head with her hands on her hips. Despite being tightly buckled in, Maggie had managed to squirm one leg out of the harness, causing her to be positioned in the seat at an awkward angle. "Baby girl," Olivia cooed, "You are just dying to break free, aren't you?" She loosened the straps and lifted her out. "Let's try the mat."

Ed was alarmed. "God, that's scary. I leave 'em in there when I'm outta the room for a few minutes. Guess I need to stop doing that. Those legs of yours need to fatten up a little bit, Miss Maggie." Ed grabbed the baby's thigh and kissed her forehead.

Olivia put Maggie on her stomach on the floor, and the little girl happily batted at the toys and practiced holding up her head. Still in the swing, Wyatt happily sucked on his tiger Wubbanub, clutching one of the tiger's legs in one of his little fists. Ed kissed him goodbye and then hoisted Noah in the air.

"Gimme a kiss, bud. I probably won't be back until after you're in bed."

Noah complied and looked at Ed's waist. "Where's the police badge?"

An uneasy feeling grew in Olivia's stomach as Ed regretfully told Noah he no longer needed the badge. "Remember, bud? Now that Daddy has a different job, the shield stays here at home."

"Oh…yeah…" Noah murmured then his eyes suddenly brightened. " _I_ have it? Then I have ONE-TWO!"

"Sure pal. I'll get it for ya when I get home, okay?"

"Kay!" Noah squeezed Ed's neck before being returned to his feet.

Ed put his jacket on and Olivia escorted him to the door. "You're gonna do great," she said, straightening his silver tie and leaning in for a kiss. "I love you, Captain."

The way she pronounced Captain tempted Ed to blow off his commitment, put on a movie for Noah, and take Olivia to the bedroom. Regaining his composure, he kissed her back and smirked.

" _Lieutenant_ …"

"What?" Olivia asked innocently.

"I love you, too."

"I thought you were going to say something else."

"I almost _did_ something else."

She playfully shoved him to the door. "Go. I'll see you later."

He squeezed her hand and gave her another quick kiss. "Bye sweetheart."

…

A few hours later, Tucker was perched on a stool at one of his old haunts, nursing his second bourbon and making small talk with Cole who set up his talk at John Jay in the first place. Tucker's presentation was a success, and when his former partner offered to buy him a drink he readily accepted. Olivia's text reported all was well at home and urged him to go, so he tried not to feel guilty about staying out a little while longer.

"Could end up being a regular thing, Tucker. You ever think about it?"

"Guest speaker? Sounds like something for famous people."

"With the right connections, it would be a nice little side job." Cole's face broke into his familiar mischievous grin. "With all those babies, can't have too much cash on hand."

"You say it like we have ten kids."

"Well let's see," Cole ribbed him, "You have a four-year-old and two, what, they're three months?"

"Almost four.'

"They say each one costs about a quarter million."

Tucker raised his eyes to the ceiling, doing some mental calculations. "I think I may have gotten off cheaply with the first two."

"They seem to have turned out fine."

"They have. Oh, Brooke's engaged."

"Hey!" Cole smiled broadly but quickly got serious when he remembered Sarah's marriage debacle, "That's a good thing, right?"

"This time, I think it is."

"Well congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Who's the new son-in-law?"

"Detective Carisi."

Cole took a disbelieving sip. "Benson's detective?"

"Yep."

"Well I'll be damned."

"Yeah," Tucker muttered reflectively.

"When am I going to see those babies of yours?"

"Maybe I'll bring 'em in to work sometime."

Imagining Tucker arriving at IAB with infant twins made Cole break into a gentle chuckle. "Please do."

Tucker ignored the implicit teasing and pulled out his phone. "Look at 'em. They've changed a lot since the party."

Cole's eyes widened. The last time he saw Maggie and Wyatt they were still scrawny, still fresh from the NICU, and had the scrunched up, androgynous appearance of all newborns. These pictures showed much bigger, much more animated babies with bright blue eyes and thick wisps of hair.

" _Wow_."

"Yep," Tucker said proudly, "They've gotten big…and every day they have a little more personality. Maggie, she's, well, I better stay in shape because that girl is ready to run around right now. And Wyatt's so cool and calm, just kinda sits back and watches everything, doesn't cry much."

Cole massaged his forehead ruefully, "I hardly remember my kids as babies."

"Same thing with Brooke and Sarah."

"Why the hell doesn't anyone tell you you don't have to do everything all at once—job, wife, kids?"

Tucker nodded, acknowledging the point and forever grateful he had been given a second chance to get fatherhood right. "Who the hell knows…"

….

During the walk home, Tucker mentally replayed his lecture and the hoped-for Q-and-A. He had done well. Both the professor and Cole extended him sincere compliments, and Ed wondered if there was any promise in Cole's suggestion that he seek out more speaking engagements. After thirty years on the force and two decades with IAB, Tucker certainly had a wealth of knowledge and experience, but this was the first time he'd ever transferred that knowledge into pedagogy.

And he liked it.

He assumed Olivia would still be up, awaiting the twins' midnight wake-up, and, sure enough, she was perched on the edge of the sofa, paging through files that were spread all over the coffee table.

"Hey there," she said, smiling at his loosened tie and unbuttoned collar. "How'd it go?"

"Really well." He yanked the tie off and untucked his shirt. "How'd it go here?"

"Perfectly. But, sit down, tell me about it. _Details_."

Ed quickly changed clothes and took a seat in the armchair. "I started, ya know, how I planned just introducing myself and gave the little rundown of where I started and then talked about IAB, the process, the questioning techniques, watching for body language, all that stuff, you know, seein' how people react to being recorded as opposed to not being recorded. Listening for when they're coached. And then, of course, the questions were all about… _how does it feel to have to arrest your own people_?"

This was not a surprise to Olivia. She smiled knowingly. "Of course. How'd you answer?"

"I told 'em, when cops are dirty, they aren't my people."

"Good one."

"Then I reminded them to see the big picture because sometimes you're wrong and you eventually end up sleeping with one of _your people_."

"You did not," Olivia said, laughing.

"Seriously."

"I don't believe you."

Ed got up and approached her slowly. "You know the tough thing about being married to you, Lieutenant? And…I mean…the _only_ tough thing?"

"What's that?"

"You're too smart."

Olivia set her jaw and pretended to be unaffected by the distance closing between them. "I'm an experienced police officer, Captain. You knew what you were getting into."

"That I did." He sat down and wrapped his arms around her. She lightly ran her fingers across his midsection, reminding him of an earlier concern. "Sure you don't think I've gained a little weight?"

She shook with laughter. "I really don't think so. Did your pants loosen up any?"

"Yeah, they felt normal after a while."

"Good."

"But ya know what?"

"What?"

"While I was on my way there I remembered something Sarah showed me and Brooke a while ago."

"What's that?"

"Some account on Twitter. Facts in your face?"

"How reliable is _that_?"

"Pretty reliable." Ed replied confidently.

"Well, what did it say?"

"You can burn a hundred calories having sex."

"And _that_ popped into your head…before you were about to speak to a bunch of criminal justice students?"

"My pants were tight."

To Ed's delight, Olivia's hand drifted to his thigh and her voice deepened a couple of octaves as she purred, "I bet…if we try hard…we can top a hundred."

…

Noah wandered around as he conversed with Sarah, occasionally letting the iPad fall around his waist and eliciting a shrill request to "hold it up high, Noey" from his temporarily Buenos Aires-based sister. Sarah managed to reduce the details of an intricate corporate merger into language Noah understood, and Noah described his days at the park and the pub and his increasingly active infant siblings.

"Lemme see Wyatt and Maggie May, No!"

"Kay! We're goin' to their room, Sare bear!" Noah crossed the living room and entered the nursery. Ed wrangled Maggie on the changing table, fighting to get a romper on her wiggly body, and Wyatt, already dressed in a romper of his own, was in his crib and batting at the jungle-themed mobile.

Noah had long ago dragged one of his small chairs into the twins' room so he could get a better vantage point for all baby-related chores. He clambered on the chair now and gave Sarah a birds' eye view of Maggie.

"Hi pretty sister!" Sarah gushed, "Ooooo, I love that outfit Daddy picked for ya, but tell him not to forget the _dresses_!"

"She doesn't want a dress," Ed muttered through clenched teeth as he threaded Maggie's arms through the sleeves, sat her up, and tugged on the little zipper.

" _I_ zip her, Daddy!" Noah protested.

"I know bud, but you're talkin' to Sarah right now. You're outta hands."

Noah giggled and put the iPad millimeters from Maggie's face. "Say hi to Sare bear!"

Maggie reached out for the screen and Sarah clutched her shirt near her heart. "Omigod, omigod, omigod, she _knows_ me! Hi baby! Hi little sister! You miss your Sare bear dontcha! When I come back we're gonna go _shopping_!"

Ed grinned, "Speaking of shopping, we're going school shopping for Noah today. I'm sure you're sad you're missing it."

"I AM! Omigod. Don't get everything. Noey, we shall go shopping when I get back. For everything Mommy and Daddy won't getcha."

"Gettin' a new backpack today, Sare bear!" Noah informed her excitedly. "I'm goin' to school _all day_ and I need the backpack for my STUFF! I eat lunch there, too. So…need a LUNCHBOX!"

Sarah sighed. "I cannot take this. You're getting too old Noey. And, Daddy, since when does pre-K last all day?"

"That's the way they do it for four-year-olds at his school." Ed replied matter-of-factly since he had no clue as to the specific answer.

Sarah breezed from subject to subject. "Lemme see Wyatt, Noey."

Noah climbed down and in the process of sliding the chair to Wyatt's crib gave Sarah a view of the newly carpeted floor.

"Here's Wyatt!" Noah said with a flourish, pointing the camera down into Wyatt's crib. The jungle-theme of his mobile carried over into his bedding. The sheets were lime green and the padding along the sides of the crib depicted marching tigers, elephants, monkeys, and giraffes.

"Hi handsome!" Sarah cooed. "Oh my gawwwwd he's SO CUTE! He's in his sailboat outfit! Daddy! Tell Livvie he needs to model for Janie and Jack. Actually, they both do. Maggie has a dress to match his outfit." Wyatt rapidly kicked, moved his arms, and smiled. Ed put Maggie in the crib alongside him. Sarah frowned. "Dad, you really need to dress them alike. They're _twins_!"

"They don't always need to match." Ed straightened the items on the changing table. "No, you're still in your PJs, bud. We gotta get changed so we can go."

"Kay, Daddy." Noah turned the camera on himself, "We haveta go, Sare bear!"

"Alright," Sarah said, "I love you, Noey."

"Love you too!"

"And I love Maggie and Wyatt. Tell 'em."

Noah relayed the message.

"I'll be home Wednesday."

"Kay, Sare bear. I go to school Wednesday."

"I _know_. I'll pick you up Thursday."

"Kay!"

"Wait! Show me Wyatt and Maggs one more time!"

Once again, Noah complied.

"What is _that_?" Sarah asked, pointing. Ed was looking on now and unsure of what she was talking about. Noah, however, knew exactly what she was pointing out.

"That's Wyatt's police badge," he said proudly. "We have two now…I gived one to him."

For once, Ed didn't roll his eyes at Sarah's swooning, for he and Olivia reacted the same way when Noah presented his baby brother with the shield the previous night.

….

Sonny questioned whether or not it was appropriate to take Maggie and Wyatt out to lunch. The twins had been dropped off at their loft an hour earlier, and he apparently had it in his mind that Ed and Olivia expected the babies to remain indoors until they returned with Noah. Brooke screwed up her face, jabbed a finger into his belly, and insisted they were allowed to head outside. They loaded the babies into their stroller and walked a few blocks to a nondescript diner that had become a favorite of their since they moved into their new neighborhood.

People stopped to peek at the babies, and Brooke found herself enjoying the attention. Conversations with the strangers did not last long enough for her to explain that the babies were not her children but her brother and sister, but this brief outing offered her a glimpse into the future and, for once, the prospect of marriage and family did not terrify her.

"You goin' in to work at all this weekend?"

Brooke had been busy the previous week setting up her classroom for the upcoming school year. "No. I'm ready for day one. Even though I may need to stay late on day one to get ready for day two."

Sonny grinned. "So this is what, your sixth year?"

"Yep. It feels much longer. I laugh, you know, thinking about myself in the first couple of years, I practically lived at school."

"You were also in a pretty rough neighborhood," Sonny pointed out, "I really admire you…for doin that."

Brooke ducked her head, a little embarrassed at the compliment. "The funny thing is…I feel a lot more pressure here."

Concerned, Sonny reached across the table for one of her hands. "Whaddya mean?"

She shrugged. "Parents are very involved at this school. They know their stuff. They know pedagogy, research, they're constantly checking grades and how I've graded things. At the other school, parents just appreciated that you showed up. Kids, too. They had a lot of issues, but once you showed them you cared, they would back you up."

"Do you want to go back?"

Not one person had asked Brooke this question before. Everyone close to her assumed she wholeheartedly preferred her Upper West Side high-performing school to the gritty Mott Haven institution where one had to pass through a set of secure doors and metal detectors to enter. The school where she often was escorted to her subway stop by a campus resource officer because she stayed late and nighttime was dangerous. It seemed odd to look back on that experience fondly, but that's exactly how she remembered it.

"I guess not," she said, not sounding terribly confident. "Pros and cons. But, if I ever decide to go into administration, I think it might be in a place like that."

"You know I'll support you… in whatever you choose to do." Sonny was still holding her hand.

"I know," Brooke replied, "I really do. I just…don't know what the future holds, at least, for my career. Which…I think you understand?"

She successfully volleyed the weight of the conversation back to him.

"I wish I could do both," Sonny said. "I like the law, I like the idea of becoming an ADA, but I feel a purpose in what I'm doing now. If that makes any sense."

"It does…and I can relate…because I don't feel a purpose in what I'm doing now. The kids in my classes…they're going to be successful with or without me. They're parents will make sure of it. Maybe that's my problem."

Sonny nodded. "And, if I'm an ADA, it seems like I'm detached from the real work. At least, that's the feel I've gotten from the shadowing I've done." He tore at the ends of his napkin.

"But…" Brooke prodded.

Sonny lifted his eyes to meet hers and said sincerely, "But I want to do the best thing for _us_. I know…I know you don't want to be married to a cop whose schedule is unpredictable."

Now it was Brooke's turn to squeeze his hand. "I want you to like your job," she said.

"But...you and Sarah always talked about how your Dad was gone all the time, and—"

She stopped him, "We've come to realize that our issues with our Dad were fueled more by our mother than by him. And…you and my Dad are not the same people. _We're_ not them."

Sonny leaned across the table for a kiss ad got a glimpse of Maggie as he collapsed back into his side of the booth. "Hey, Maggie! You're awake!"

"You usually tell us you're up, Mags!" Brooke said.

Sonny was already in the process of getting Maggie out of her seat. He stood her on the table and she slapped her bare feet on the formica table gleefully. "Hey there, Maggie," he said, giving her eskimo kisses, "How's the prettiest little girl in Manhattan?"

Maggie grabbed at his hair and kept stomping on the unfamiliar terrain. When the food arrived Sonny sat her in his lap and ate one-handed.

"She's so active," Brooke said, "She's just always moving around."

"Captain Tucker and Lieu better watch out," Sonny said, "Wait until they learn to walk! This girl's gonna be everywhere!"

Brooke turned her head to get a glimpse of Wyatt. Despite his stressful birth and lower initial weight, he continued to fill out. Maggie's narrow head didn't come close to fitting snugly between the seat's padding, but Wyatt's did and Brooke speculated that the head support would have to be removed soon. Its sides squished his chubby cheeks inward toward his nose. His pacifier rested on his stomach. One hand clutched it possessively, and the other rested in a little fist near his left eye. Brooke tugged on the leg hems of his romper which hugged his thighs; she cast a comparative glance to Maggie and though she wasn't as skinny as she was a month ago hers fit much more loosely.

"I'm going to miss these two," Brooke remarked, almost surprised at her own admission. She and Ed had been trading daytime childcare duties and while her original offer had been purely out of a sense of duty, she had come to crave her time with her new siblings. She loved the mornings in particular when they lazed around on the play mat, still in pajamas. Brooke played toddler cartoons or music and they had their tummy time before their mid-morning bottles. After they ate, she scooped them into her lap and read books until they fell asleep. At that time of day, their nap only lasted an hour or so, and most times Brooke held them while they slept. Afternoons typically included a long walk, and, depending on the day, a stop to retrieve Noah from day camp.

Sonny planted a kiss on Maggie's head, "You think…you'll be ready for one of these of our own someday?"

Wyatt made a noise, something between a gurgle and a squeal. Brooke picked him up and peppered his face with kisses. "Hi brother bear," she cooed. She kissed him a little more before securing him in her lap. Still groggy, he lazily smiled at Sonny and sat back against Brooke's chest. Out of stall time, Brooke finally responded to Sonny's question.

"I will be," she said.

Sonny smiled, but inside he was bursting with excitement.

 _I will be._

No _"I think."_

Just _, I will be._

She continued, "I always thought, I guess, I always doubted that I had any maternal instincts, because of my own mom."

Sonny studied her intently as she spoke.

"But I proved something to myself in the past few weeks."

"You're gonna be a great mother," Sonny told her confidently.

Brooke beamed.

The two of them smiled and picked at their food in silence for a few minutes. During that time, Wyatt woke up even more and copied his sister's movements. Both babies grabbed at utensils and exchanged little yelps as if they were communicating with each other.

"They're in cahoots already," Sonny said.

Brooke imagined the future—her kids, Wyatt and Maggie, Noah, and, well, Sarah—boisterously celebrating holidays and birthdays and sunny day barbecues.

"They sure are," she said, grinning, "We're all in for a wild ride."

…..

Colored pencils, mechanical pencils, regular pencils, two boxes of crayons—one "standard colors" and one "deluxe," construction paper, glue sticks, children's scissors, washable markers, two plastic pocket folders, and a six-pack of Kleenex filled the three large shopping bags dangling from Ed's left hand. With all boxes on the list checked, he, Olivia, and Noah were now on a mission to find the perfect backpack.

When the trio began the outing, Noah quickly became upset at being dragged into such run-of-the-mill stores such as Staples.

"We go to _DaVinci!_ " He protested, referring to the high-end art supply store he and Sarah frequented.

Ed and Olivia exchanged amused glances and explained that these particular supplies would be used by everyone in his pre-K class.

"Besides, sweet boy," Olivia reasoned, "Sarah will want to take you to DaVinci when she gets back from Argentina. That's your special trip with your Sare Bear."

Noah bought the argument and fell into compliance, though, to him, the school supply mission lost some of its luster.

Olivia wanted to buy Noah a sturdy backpack that she could have embroidered with his initials, but Noah had other ideas. With the first day of school imminent, stores such as Duane Reade and Walgreens that typically did not carry backpacks in their regular stock had them prominently on display. Noah patiently followed his parents into North Face and Portage, each time shaking his head and refusing to point out anything he liked.

On their way to a third store, Noah finally voiced his true desire. "Want the _shark_ backpack, Mommy!"

"The shark backpack?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Where'd ya see that, bud?" Ed hadn't said much so far. He was content to enjoy the time with his wife and son and liked observing the little debates and bargains between Noah and Olivia.

"In da store!"

"What store?"

Olivia quickly searched for "shark backpack" on her phone. "We could always order one. Look, Noah, we can get your name on it, too!"

"Want the shark backpack _today_!"

"Would it be here in time for school?" Ed asked, thinking about Labor Day, "We threw his old one out."

"Probably not," Feeling a tinge of frustration, Olivia looked toward the sky, "There must be a shark backpack in Manhattan."

"It in THE STORE!"

"Okay, sweet boy, calm down. We'll find it."

"When'd ya see it bud? Were you with me or Mommy?"

"With Daddy!"

"Were Maggie and Wyatt there?"

"No! Just Noah and Daddy!"

Ed scratched his face. The three of them moved to the edge of the sidewalk while he thought. Finally, he had it. "I know where it is. Drugstore by the pub."

"Drugstore?" Olivia frowned. Just thinking of the gimmicky, plasticky texture of a drugstore backpack made her cringe.

Ed read her mind and kissed her cheek, sneaking a soft bite at her earlobe as he pulled away. "Yes, the drugstore. CVS actually. C'mon. Then let's have lunch. I'm starving."

Oliva let Noah and Ed drag her down the sidewalk. She checked her phone and smiled. Brooke sent two pictures—a selfie of her and Wyatt and a shot of Sonny and Maggie. Everything appeared to be going smoothly, but Olivia texted just in case.

 _We're almost done shopping and then going to lunch. Are you okay with the twins for a couple more hours?_

Brooke replied immediately. _Absolutely, take your time, we're out exploring the neighborhood._

"Okay, boys," Olivia said brightly, "Backpack and lunch. What are we eating?"

"Sushi!" Noah exclaimed much to Ed's displeasure.

"Sushi? Sounds like another treat we should save for Sare bear," Olivia said. "What else sounds good? The pub?"

Noah twisted his lips. The pub had been reclassified as boys-only turf and he was debating whether or not to make an exception. "Okaaaaay," he said slowly. "I get tater tots and bacon chee'burger."

Olivia raised her eyebrows at her husband.

"We, uh, we don't order from the children's menu anymore," he explained.

"Nope!" Noah said, "We read da BIG menu now!"

"Reading, huh?" Olivia jested.

"Yeah," Ed replied with a shrug. "He knows half the appetizers and we'll be on salads next."

Olivia buried the feeling of disappointment that she had not witnessed the pub reading lessons and kissed her husband's cheek. "Whatever works. Will you read the menu to me, sweet boy?"

"Yep!" Noah said, skipping along, "I read the WHOLE THING!"

…

 **#Tuckson**


	30. Chapter 30

Thirty.

A harried, frantic woman rushed into the squad room. Initially she said nothing, but everyone knew why she was there. In the children's interview room, Carisi conversed with her six-year-old son. From her office, Olivia observed Fin question the woman's husband, also the boy's father. Rollins entertained two other children—a three-year-old and an infant—in the break room. She'd purchased potato chips and cookies from the vending machine and tried to cull bits and pieces of information from the little girl while the baby slept. So far, the project had been fruitless.

Earlier that day, officers from another precinct brought the boy to SVU after the owner of a local diner became suspicious when the boy arrived alone to pick up a takeout order. Carisi and Rollins took the boy back to the restaurant and allowed him to trace his steps back home. They found the boy's siblings apparently unharmed and well-cared for, but the boy's father was huddled in a bedroom darkened by heavy curtains, and he let loose a blood-curdling scream when Carisi, Rollins, and a stream of light invaded his sanctuary.

"Can I help you?" Rollins asked before the older child recognized the presence of her mother.

" _Annabelle_!"

"Mommy!"

Mother and daughter spent a few seconds in a tight embrace before the woman made a beeline to the baby carrier. "James," she said through a heavy sigh. "Thank God you're okay, you're all okay." She froze, spun around, and terror filled her face, "Where's Benjamin?"

"Ma'am, he's in with one of our detectives," Rollins answered calmly, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Why don't you have a seat here and I'll go check on him and your husband."

She buried her face in her hands. "What'd he do?"

Rollins raised her eyebrows. "Your son didn't do anything."

"I mean Cal."

"The manager of a restaurant…on your block…called police after Benjamin picked up food. He had the exact change and everything. Has…has he done errands like that before?"

The woman rubbed her temples and pressed her eyes closed. "I told Cal not to do that. Cal, he…he got back from Africa, Sudan, about a year ago. And he hasn't been right ever since we moved here from Jersey."

"You moved here from Jersey?"

"Yes," she replied ruefully, "I'm a set designer. Right now I have a Broadway production wrapping up and a mini-series starting. I work mostly in Manhattan…I…thought it would be better for us to be based here."

"Does your husband work?"

"He did…at first. When he was discharged he started teaching and coaching, but he didn't like it, it…wasn't a good fit for him. He tried a few other things and finally I suggested he stay home with the kids, we'd save thousands in day care and he wouldn't have to keep quitting jobs." The woman looked at Rollins' pleadingly, "You must think I'm a horrible mother, leaving my kids with him, but…he's been better, at least, I thought he was."

….

His sallow complexion partially hidden by days-old salt-and-pepper whiskers, Cal attracted sympathy even from Fin. Olivia noticed her most experienced detective use his friendliest voice when questioning the broken man who refused to maintain eye contact with his interrogator. He alternated between vigorously rubbing his cheeks and running his hands over his wild mop of jet-black hair which was in dire need of a wash. He wore a rumpled white t-shirt, black, threadbare jogging pants, and a ragged pair of plastic flip-flops. Oddly enough, all three of the children were clean and neatly dressed.

Limited to terse answers, Fin sat back and took a break, regarding this pitiful subject with a combination of disgust and concern. Instead of entering the room or summoning Fin out of it, Olivia let him determine the best course of action which, at the moment, was inaction.

"Lieutenant?" Rollins poked her head in, "The wife's here."

"Send her in."

Olivia smiled warmly at the woman who entered the office with her infant in one arm and the three-year-old perched on the opposite hip. She eyed the sofa and smiled back gratefully when Olivia motioned for her to sit down. Instead of taking her spot behind her desk, Olivia opted for one of the armchairs.

"I'm Lieutenant Benson." Despite legally changing her surname, Olivia had maintained the _Benson_ moniker when on duty. After almost three decades on the force, it was simply easier that way.

"Vivian," she replied, adjusting her hold on her children so she could shake the Lieutenant's hand.

"And who is this?" Olivia reached out and touched the little girl's arm. She hoped making a connection through the children would disarm the obviously distraught woman.

Despite being prodded to say her name, Annabelle buried her face into her mother's shoulder.

"Her name's Annabelle," Vivian said, "And this is James. When…when can I see Benjamin?"

"Detective Carisi is talking to him, now, it's….it's best if we let him finish if that's alright with you."

"Sure."

"How old is James?"

"Seven months." Vivian couldn't help but notice the photographs of the Tucker family scattered around the office. "You have young children?"

"Twins. Four months tomorrow. And a four-year-old."

"Wow. _Twins_. That must be tough."

"The hardest part is being away from them when I'm here."

Vivian's eyes signaled Olivia had made a connection with that statement. Common ground established, Vivian relaxed. "Exactly," she sighed.

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

Vivian repeated what she told Rollins—she worked long, odd hours and Cal kept the kids. He spent twelve years as a Marine, and though, to her knowledge, he had only experienced light combat, reentering civilian life had rocky, to say the least. She thought she was making the right decision by moving the family to the city where she wouldn't be bogged down with hour-long commutes and could use periodic breaks during the day to run home and check in. Most of Cal's episodes, as she characterized them, occurred at night. During the day he was every bit the doting, attentive father.

"He started sending Benjamin on little errands last week," Vivian said. "Down to the mailboxes or to the bodega below us. Benjamin told me about it—he was so proud—but, obviously, I told Cal to stop letting him do that."

"Why wasn't Benjamin in school today?" Olivia asked.

"I have no idea," Vivian replied. "He was all set to go when I left, we had a dawn shoot this morning. Cal hasn't missed a drop off or pickup. I don't know what happened."

"Cal's in with the detective now," Olivia said reassuringly. "We'll figure it out."

….

Sarah waited anxiously outside Noah's classroom. She begged Ed to let her check Noah out of school early, but her request was denied. So here she was among other adults who stared at their phones, exasperated that the time was not moving more quickly. Unlike Sarah, this daily errand was one of utmost necessity but also an exercise in precision. The trick was to arrive as close to two-fifteen as possible so as to not waste time in this very hallway mingling with people who were slightly more than strangers.

Very much aware that Sarah was picking him up, Noah Tucker was first out of the gate when the clock hit dismissal time. Sarah positioned herself just to the right of the door where she thought she would be the most visible, but Noah didn't see her right away and he turned his head back and forth frantically, searching for his sister's familiar face.

"Noey!"

His entire body jerked in the directon of her voice. "Sare bear!"

The reunion induced grins on even the most indifferent observers. Sarah swung Noah around and kissed his head. The momentum caused her long blonde hair to become tangled in their embrace and Noah giggled at the mess. "I missed you so much, Noey Boey!"

"I miss you, Sare bear!" He said, still laughing even when Sarah put him down. He shook off his backpack. "Ya see this? It's a SHARK!"

Sarah admired the silver and black bag. "Wow! Looks kinda scary."

"Not scary." Noah poked the white teeth which guarded the main zipper. "It's not REAL!"

Sarah smacked her forehead with her palm, "Oh! Silly me!"

"Silly Sare bear!"

"Ok, let's get outta here. Where to?"

"I wanna snack."

"Then a snack we shall have."

Noah skipped a few paces ahead of Sarah, leading her to the main doors and onto the street. Unfamiliar with the Upper West Side neighborhood, Sarah suggested they head to the subway.

"To da train!" Noah exclaimed. Rarely did he ride the subway with his parents.

While they waited for the 2-Train, Sarah inspected the contents of the backpack. A plastic case contained Noah's personal stash of writing utensils—a few wide kid pencils and some colored pencils. A sweatshirt. A plastic folder held a September calendar and a behavior chart. The matching shark-themed lunchbox was crammed in there as well.

"Train comin!" Noah announced.

"Which one is it?"

"It have a ONE!"

"We need the two," Sarah replied, "The one isn't stopping where we need it to stop."

Noah didn't seem bothered by the delay. Sarah made him pose for a picture so she could send it to Ed and prove she'd completed the pick-up mission. Noah waved and shot the camera an exaggerated grin.

"So you don't have to wear a uniform to school yet?" Sarah asked, noticing Noah wore tan khaki shorts and an untucked blue and white striped Polo.

"Nope! Not til Kind-er-gar-ten!"

"Oh, well, that's good. So, were Maggie and Wyatt good while I was gone?"

"They good," Noah reported as he spun around and around on the heels of his sneakers, "They with Daddy!"

"Actually, I think they're at day care today. Daddy's working."

"Daddy not p'lice now."

"I _know_. And…now Wyatt has his badge?"

"Uh-huh! I have da badge that say N-O-A-H. Wyatt need one, so I gived him Daddy's!"

"What about small sister?"

Noah frowned, "Small sister…" he murmured as he thought, "Small sister…I ask Mommy to get her one 'cause Mommy still p'lice."

….

The way Fin entered the office indicated SVU had another pressing issue on their hands. After consulting with Barba over the phone, Olivia sent Cal to Bellevue and called social services to schedule an initial consultation with Vivian and her children. The family had been gone only a few minutes and Olivia was seconds from calling Ed when Fin came in with worry etched on his face. She put her phone down and asked what was going on, expecting that there'd been some problem. Maybe Cal suddenly resisted the psych evaluation or Vivian snapped and shoved her husband in front of a speeding taxi. Nothing would surprise the Lieutenant at this point in her career.

"Liv, Simon's here."

At first, "Simon" didn't register and she peered curiously at Fin, seeking more information. She even started to say _Simon who?_ but as she clenched her teeth to make the S-sound, the realization hit her like a gut punch.

She hadn't seen her half-brother in almost seven years and rarely thought of him anymore.

"Willingly or in cuffs?"

Fin blinked, a little shocked that she was joking about Simon's presence. "Uh, willingly."

She took a deep breath. "Send him back here."

Olivia did not get out of her chair to greet Simon. There was no hug. No handshake. She offered a hint of a smile, but it was quizzical, more _What are you doing here?_ than _I'm happy to see you_.

"Hey." Simon shoved his hands in his pockets and fidgeting. Despite it being September and still quite warm, he wore a thick Carhartt jacket and a plaid button-up shirt.

"Hi." Olivia felt bad for him and pointed to a chair. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." Clearly more comfortable seated, he breathed a sigh of relief and asked, "How are you?"

"I'm great. And, how are you?"

"Good. Good. Working two jobs."

"How are the kids?"

"They're doing so well," Simon's eyes glistened and he managed a smile. "I don't see them much. Tracy…she moved to Florida. Said she needed a change. Needed to get away from the city. Wanted warmer weather."

"Can't blame her there."

"Yeah," Simon huffed.

Olivia stared at him, not feeling particularly responsible for carrying the conversation.

"I, uh, I didn't want to contact you until I was back on my feet. Until I had things settled, got things straight…with my life."

"It's been a while."

"It took a while. But, I always remember you telling me to grow up. And I feel like I've done that."

"That's good to hear."

…..

Sarah and Noah climbed the steps at the 23rd Street station, squinting against the bright sunlight even though they both wore sunglasses, Ray-Ban Erikas for Sarah and Wayfarers for Noah. Impressively, Noah's shades had been stowed in the small pocket of his backpack. When they came home with them before leaving for the beach that summer, Ed scoffed at spending so much money on an accessory that was sure to get lost or damaged, so Sarah was surprised to find them carefully snapped into their case next to a small bottle of hand sanitizer and a travel package of tissues. She'd been prepared to buy him a new pair.

"Snack first or DaVinci first?"

"Snack!"

"You sure? If we go to DaVinci you can draw while we wait for our food." On the train, Noah mentioned a hot dog or a slice of pizza, but Sarah had no intention of eating street food on a park bench. She wanted to sit down, have a drink, and share an appetizer with her little brother. Noah agreed to hit the art store first, and they picked out heavy paper, a 60-color water color pencils set, and a case of traditional water color paints with three brush sizes. They then made their way to a nearby Irish Pub. Sarah ordered a gin-and-tonic for herself, a Shirley Temple for Noah, and mozzarella sticks for the two of them to share.

"So. Noey. As you know, I was in Argentina. Buenos Aires to be exact."

"Bue-nos Ai-res," Noah repeated slowly. "Dey talk 'panish there?"

"Yep."

"Oh."

"Next time, you'll go with me so you can practice your Spanish. Has Miss Melia been teaching you?"

"No. Have 'panish at school now."

"Oh. Very well." Sarah cracked herself up by using formal language with Noah. She hoped he mimicked this vernacular style every once in a while at school. "I purchased several souvenirs and most of them are at home, but I brought this with me." Sarah dug into her large handbag and produced a small item wrapped in plastic.

Noah eagerly unwrapped the item.

"It's a soccer jersey! And _look_. It's signed by all the best soccer players in Argentina." Noah admired the blue and white striped garment with wide eyes. He and Ed had watched a little of the 2018 World Cup at the pub, so Noah was vaguely familiar with the design.

"Wanna wear it!"

"Of course!" Sarah swapped his shirts quickly and sized him up. "It's a little big, but you can grow into it." The shirt hung down just above his knees. "Maybe we'll tuck it in." She stuffed the jersey into his shorts and nodded, satisfied. "It looks really good, Noey. Everyone on the street is gonna think you're a pro!"

"Yep!" Noah demonstrated a kick, "Goal!"

"Now," Sarah got serious, "That jersey is extra. Nobody else got a present that nice. So don't brag about it."

"Okay." Noah answered, matching Sarah's tone and either pretending to know or knowing what "brag" meant.

"So, how's school? Do you like your teacher?"

"Uh-huh! We did lotta math today!"

"Good. Study hard at math. What about reading?"

"I arready know reading."

"Oh. Well. We're all set then."

….

Simon did not stay long, but before he left he asked Olivia if they could get together sometime soon. He wanted to meet Noah and the twins. He seemed less enthusiastic about becoming acquainted with Ed, but that encounter was not to be avoided. Olivia suggested lunch on Saturday afternoon, and Simon happily agreed. She kicked herself for making such dicey plans without consulting Ed, but she hoped her husband would see that it was better to get this over sooner rather than later so they could go back to their lives. Olivia had no intention of maintaining contact with Simon, but she didn't have the heart to completely shoot down his request to meet her family.

After his departure, she finally had some time alone. She reviewed the reports from earlier that day and sifted through emails, responding to the most urgent ones but leaving most of them for the next morning.

Then it hit her.

Benjamin, Annabelle, and James. The faces of the three children flashed in front of her as if the children themselves were there in the flesh. Olivia closed her eyes and rocked back and forth. Eyes open now, the three faces were not Vivian's but those of Maggie, Noah, and Wyatt. She closed her eyes again, but she saw her children even more clearly now, floating in the dark abyss of her inner eyelids, slowly waving at her with melancholy stares. Their lips trembled like they do right before full-blown sobs. The sobs didn't come, but those three sets of lips continued to shake uncontrollably.

A layer of perspiration formed on her forehead and something like heartburn, but worse, filled her entire chest cavity. She tried to swallow it away, but the singing wave only thrashed around in her ribcage more intensely. Her knuckles whitened as she clutched the edge of her desk.

 _Breathe_ , she told herself. _Breathe_.

…

Ed broke into laughter at the sight of Noah's ice-cream streaked jersey. On closer inspection, he raised his eyebrows and questioned Sarah. "Are these original signatures?"

"Yes," Sarah answered matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't they be?"

"You met the Argentinian National Team?"

"Of course not. One of the people from the firm we were working with knew someone who knew someone who had it autographed for me."

"Do you realize how much this is worth?"

"No. How much?"

Ed realized he himself didn't actually know. "Uh, well, you'd have to check on eBay, but even with the stains, it's at least worth a few hundred. Maybe thousands."

Sarah shrugged. "It's Noey's."

Ed just stared at her incredulously until Sarah wrapped him in a violent hug. "It's so good to see you! I _missed_ you!"

"It's only been a week."

"Almost two."

"Okay. We missed you too."

"Doesn't sound like your heart's in it," Sarah said, giving him a peck on the cheek, "But I'll take it. Now. Where are my babies?"

"Sleeping in their beds."

Unhappy with this answer, Sarah scrunched up her nose. "Lemme just go get a little peek at them." Without waiting for permission, she tiptoed into the dimly lit twins' room. Some early evening light filtered in from the narrow opening between the shade and the window frame, and it cast the faintest illumination over the identical white cribs. Noah stood at Sarah's side as she examined Maggie and then Wyatt.

"I'm gonna pick 'em up, Noey," she whispered.

"No, Sare bear! They sleepin!"

Sarah ignored him and gently collected Maggie into her arms. "Hi small sister," she breathed deeply against Maggie's cheek. "My mini-me. I see you are still not in a dress but we shall fix that immediately after you wake up." Slightly bothered, Maggie flailed a little and Sarah took the hint. "Okay, baby girl. Back to your bed ya go." On her mattress, Maggie settled back in but appeared to be trying to connect her hand with her mouth.

Noah stepped in. "She need her paci! Small sister like to sleep with da paci!"

Sure enough, when Sarah gave her the pink pacifier, Maggie soothed herself back into a deep slumber.

"Mr. _Wyyyyyyatt_ ," Sarah sing-songed, "C'mere little man. Gosh you're heavy." She cradled him in both arms, kissed his cheeks, and smoothed his hair, knowing he would be more difficult to rouse than his sister.

Ed entered the room and Noah said apologetically, "Sare bear tryin to wake up the babies!"

"I see that."

Wyatt's eyes fluttered open then closed again, but that was enough for Sarah. She took Wyatt into the living room, plopped herself in the middle of the sofa, and continued cooing at her infant brother until he finally woke up.

"There ya go! There's my Wyatt! Look at those eyes! They're so _blue_! Big blue eyes like your Sare bear! But the rest of you sure looks like Mommy!"

"Sure does," Ed remarked. Wyatt's bone structure and skin tone were clearly Olivia's.

Noah spread out his new watercolors on the table. Ed saw what he was planning to do, quickly grabbed yesterday's _New York Times_ from the recycling bin, and spread it on the floor as well as all over Noah's end of the table. He removed the soccer jersey and delivered a cup of water.

"Need _two_ cups, Daddy," Noah instructed. "Rinse da brushes one, TWO times!"

"Okay bud, sorry." Ed brought a second cup and Noah began painting.

On the couch, Sarah was engrossed in baby banter.

"I just cannot make up my mind. Who's cuter? You, my handsome sweet Wyatt Edward Benson Sarah Tucker or your beautiful sister Margaret Caroline Sarah Benson Tucker? Well, Maggs looks like me, so she has a leg up in that department, but, you, Wyatt, you are just so _yummy_!" Sarah growled and bit lightly at his pudgy thigh.

Ed straightened up the kitchen with a silly smile on his face. When he finished, he offered Sarah a drink and she readily accepted the glass of pinot grigio. Ed delivered it and sat across from her in the armchair, bourbon in hand.

Sarah squinted at him. "Daddy, you're getting a little baby fat yourself."

Ed did not protest. "I _knew_ it."

…

Olivia exited the elevator on their floor and took the same deep breath she'd been taking since she left the precinct. She checked her appearance with her phone's camera and decided that, to an outside observer, she merely appeared tired after a long day at work rather than rattled by what she assumed was a mild panic attack. It did not last long, but as soon as she could think and see clearly, she hightailed it home without telling anyone she was leaving for the day.

A comforting cacophony of laughter and loud voices greeted her when she entered. Hearing the entry beep, Sarah leapt from the couch with Wyatt still in her arms and ran to greet her.

"Livvie!"

"Hi!" Olivia said brightly and steeled herself for the impact of Sarah's embrace. She felt Wyatt bat at her bare neck as Sarah hugged her.

"I'm so happy to be home!"

"And we're happy you're home."

Wyatt's reached out for his mother and his eyes widened. "Ok, buddy. Go to Mommy."

Olivia held him against her tightly and closed her eyes. Sarah noticed this was more than a simple _glad to see you_ greeting after being away at work all day. She took a few backward steps into the living room and nearly crashed into Ed who bypassed her and joined his wife in the foyer.

"Welcome home," he said gently. When she did not immediately respond, he dipped his head and searched her eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied with a forced smile. "Long day. Well, not long, but, draining."

Ed tried to take Wyatt, but Olivia did not relinquish her hold on him. "Liv?"

"I'm going to get changed." She started walking away from Ed, still talking, "Maybe nurse him. When's the last time he ate?"

"Couple hours ago," Ed replied.

Olivia gave Noah a quick kiss, praised his artwork, and made her way to the bedroom, possessively clutching Wyatt to her with both arms. "We'll be out in a little bit."

Sarah and Ed exchanged helpless glances.

"I better go," Sarah said.

Ed knew this was best, but part of him wanted her to stay. "Yeah, okay, listen, let's get together this weekend. We wanna hear all about the trip. See your pictures."

"Definitely," Sarah replied, fixing her gaze on the back hallway, "Um…call me tomorrow?"

"Sure. We'll get the details ironed out and let ya know."

"Okay."

Sarah said a reluctant goodbye to Noah and departed for home, leaving her Dad to topple the walls Olivia had hastily constructed between her contentment and a new demon.

….

 **#Tuckson**


	31. Chapter 31

**Thirty-one.**

Ed checked in with Olivia to see if she needed or wanted anything, but she declined his offers and he left her alone with Wyatt. Soon Maggie woke up and he sat at the table with her while Noah finished his painting. Noah's neatness always amazed Ed. Only a few droplets of paint and water dotted the newspaper, and his masterpiece was nearly free from extraneous streaks. Ed prompted him to explain the brushstrokes, but the answers were perfunctory and Ed settled for silence until Noah announced he was finished.

"There we go!"

"Tell me about it, pal."

"It's the SUBWAY!"

Noah's exclamation startled Maggie and abruptly stopped sucking, sending streaks of milk across her cheek.

"Uh-oh!" Noah scrambled from the chair and got the towel from the oven handle. "Here, baby." Noah dabbed at her face and Maggie blew whitish spit bubbles at him. "Oh small sister," Noah giggled back at her, "You _are_ a small silly sister!"

"You're such a good brother, bud," Ed praised, "I'm so proud of you."

"You leave this picture right here," Noah instructed. "It wet."

"Got it."

Maggie seemed uninterested in any more of her bottle. Ed propped her in the Boppy on the play mat and told Noah he'd be right back. Olivia and Wyatt had been in the bedroom for over an hour now and he was anxious to get started on fixing whatever was bothering his wife.

He stealthily made his way down the hallway and walked carefully into the room. Wyatt had finished nursing and was now sitting up on Olivia's stomach. She held his arms for support. Both he and Maggie were able to hold their heads up for long stretches now, and Wyatt's eyes darted around the room, looking for new and intriguing things on which to focus.

"Liv?"

Calm and comforted by her baby, Olivia pressed her lips together in a content smile. Wyatt fixated on Ed. "See your Daddy, baby boy? We love Daddy, don't we?"

"Maggs and Noah are playin' out there on the mat. You hungry at all?"

"A little."

"Want anything in particular for dinner?"

"No."

"You eat anything today?"

Olivia concentrated on bouncing Wyatt as she answered. "Actually…I don't think I did."

"I'm gonna use that panini maker. We have some good bread and roast beef. That sound good?"

"It does."

Resisting the urge to take Wyatt and force her to look at him, Ed mumbled a dutiful "comin' right up" and retreated to the kitchen. Olivia joined her family a few minutes later, traded Wyatt for Maggie, and snuggled her daughter at the island as Ed put their sandwiches together. They ate at the table and engaged in normal dinner conversation. Noah talked about his day at school and his afternoon with Sarah which reminded Ed of the tentative plans he'd made earlier.

"I told Sarah we'd maybe get together this weekend…hear about the trip, ya know."

"Of course."

Olivia concentrated on her food because she felt the heat of Ed's scrutiny. Since she'd stepped into her home and taken her son into her arms, she felt like she was on the verge of a full blown fit of sobs which she knew she had to suppress until at least Noah was in bed. With two hours to go, she was losing her nerve, mostly because she correctly sensed her husband was losing his patience and becoming increasingly alarmed at her _I'm fine_ façade.

After dinner, Olivia spent some time with Noah and his trains. She gave him his bath and the five of them gathered all together on the big bed for story time. Olivia read the first two books before handing the reins to Ed for _The Stinky Cheese Man_. Clearly tired, Noah did not object when he was not allowed the fourth book.

"Ni-night Maggie." He kissed Maggie's head gently and then tickled Wyatt's belly before kissing his cheek. "Ni-night, Wyatt."

Olivia propped Maggie next to Ed and went to tuck Noah in for the night. When she returned to the bedroom, the only light came from Ed's bedside lamp, and the twins were in the middle of the bed snoozing away.

Her exercise in deflection was over.

Time to talk.

Ed sat up. "What happened?"

Olivia opened the floodgates. The six-year-old picking up take-out. The family's similarity to her own. The mother working so much she didn't notice her husband falling apart. The visit from Simon. The lunch Saturday. How much she desperately did not want to invite Simon and all he represented back into her life not to mention the lives of her children and her husband. The panic attack. The walk home after the panic attack in which she worried about having another panic attack. Being unable to let go of Wyatt and then of Maggie and then of Noah when she tucked him in a few minutes ago.

It all incapacitated Ed for a minute or two. Baffled she was able to withstand all of the day's trauma and come home and act sort-of normal, his first instinct was to take her into his arms and hug her, which he did.

She resisted at first.

He felt it, and he strengthened his hold, moving his grip on his own wrist to his forearm.

There was no opportunity for Olivia to run away. This she knew, but she also knew she was probably saddled with that flight instinct for life, only now, Ed refused to let her go. He'd give her space, leave her alone for a little while, but he was not leaving. Ever.

"Are you happy?"

Ed was not expecting this question. Nevertheless, he answered promptly. "I'm happier every damn day, Liv."

"I'm worried you miss it."

"I do miss it," he replied into her hair. "But that's normal for anyone who leaves a job that was part of their life for so many years. But me missing it doesn't mean I don't love what I'm doing now."

"You don't love what you're doing."

"I'm learning to love it. But I meant…I love being able to take care of the kids."

"And I'm beating myself up for not taking care of them."

Ed released her and they sat back against the pillows, facing each other on their sides. "You _are_ taking care of them. Of us. That was the deal, baby."

"I keep doubting myself. Especially today. Those kids…"

"Liv, those kids are not your kids. You remember when we weren't even really seeing each other but I met you and Noah for lunch one afternoon?"

Once again, Olivia had to do a quick deep-dive into the archives to pinpoint this one instance that Ed already had readily available in his mind. Lunch. They weren't quite dating. Noah was there. Oh yes, now she remembered. It was probably about three years ago. "I think so," she recalled slowly, "But we _were_ seeing each other."

Ed smirked naughtily, "I meant we hadn't slept together yet."

" _Oh_."

He wasn't going to allow them to flirt their way out of this one. "But my point was, when we talked that day, you'd just worked a case with a kid from the projects. Remember? And you were talkin' about Noah?"

"And you reminded me how lucky he is that he'll never know any of what that little boy and his sister went through."

"Right." Ed reached over and cupped her cheek. "Our kids will never, ever know the terrible things we've seen. Never." Ed had a way of totally captivating her through his eyes and he fixed that intense, determined stare on her now as he spoke. "And _you_. All of those terrible things are things that happen to other people now. Not you. Not ever again. And when you're in there, helping those vics, counseling them, getting justice for them…I like to think," he twirled a thin strand of her hair around his index finger, "I guess I like to think, well, you're that much better at it 'cause…everything else in your life…is perfect."

Tears streamed down Olivia's cheeks now and she let them fall, wanting to prolong the comfort of her husband's adoring gaze as long as possible.

"I should've called you before I made those plans with Simon."

Ed unsuccessfully tried to suppress his groan. "When are you supposed to meet him?"

"Saturday."

"Cancel."

"I can't, Ed, I—"

Ed knew why Olivia let herself get roped into the lunch and he also knew there was no way the Tucker family was having some awkward meal with her estranged half-brother. His wife had a heart of gold, but, this time, he needed to save her from her own virtuousness.

"I'll go." He set his jaw, classic IAB style.

Olivia screwed up her face. "You'll go?"

"Alone." Ed clarified. At the risk of asserting himself too much, he added, "You don't need him in your life, Liv. _We_ don't need that poison. I'll go. And that'll be the end of it."

A rush of conflicting emotions overwhelmed Olivia. She could fight her own battles. Simon was good at heart. She found Simon in the first place. All of this really was _her_ doing and _her_ fault.

 _She could fight her own battles_.

Only this wasn't a battle worth fighting.

Also, judging by her husband's resolute stare, it wasn't up for debate.

"Okay," she said, her voice barely audible.

Ed kissed her on the lips. He wanted to talk more about the panic attack, but he got the feeling that this was enough for one night. He eyed the twins who were fast asleep and he started planting kisses on Olivia's jawbone. "I love you so much, Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker and I am going to forevvvvvvver be grateful about the _Tucker_ part." The vibrations of _forevvvvvvver_ in her hear elicited pleasant shivers.

He dragged his lips down her neck to her collarbone and trailed it with kisses, open-mouthed this time, he moved slowly, deliberately, peppering in conversation while keeping the twins' presence in mind.

"Mmmm, God, I love you, I love kissing you, mmm, you taste so good… _everywhere_."

Olivia's hips bucked involuntarily as she anticipated Ed's next moves. Sure enough, he unbuttoned her blouse, one button at a time, kissing each new area of exposed skin as if it were the first time he'd seen that part of her body.

"This is pretty," he rasped, fingering the silky material as he slithered down her torso. "Is it new?"

"No."

"Well, you have so many blouses…"

Olivia shook with laughter.

"Somethin' funny, Lieutenant?"

"No. Not at all. As you were."

"Oh _yeah_ ," he said mischievously. "You kind do outrank me now, being _active_ duty and all."

" _Hmmmm_."

"Could have some fun with that."

"We could."

Ed heard the yearning in her voice and continued deliberately divesting her of her shirt. Tonight Olivia wanted him to take control. Tonight she needed him to be the _man_ , the _Captain_ , the head of the household even though, most of the time, everyone in the household had him wrapped around their collective finger.

"Ed, the twins."

"They're asleep."

"I can't do this with them… _right there_."

Without another word, Ed stood up, deftly scooped the twins into his arms, marched them to their cribs, turned on their mobiles in case they woke up, and returned, smirking, to his wife's side. The whole thing took under a minute.

"Now where were we?"

…..

The parents were still damp with post-coital perspiration when Wyatt's whimpers transmitted through the baby monitor. Olivia started to get up, but Ed threw his body weight on top of her.

"This is me."

"I know, but, I can do it tonight, you're…you seem a little exhausted."

"Nah." Ed lifted his head and kissed her lips. "Go to sleep, baby." He went to the bathroom, splashed water on his face, and smirked at himself in the mirror. Making love to his wife was always a pleasure, but these nights, when she seemed to really _need_ him, well, these nights provided an exhilarating ego boost. He put on his sweatpants and a t-shirt and went to heat the bottles.

A few minutes later, Olivia watched on the monitor as Ed fed the twins in the rocking chair. She never watched long. After all, Ed deserved his private time with the twins, but sometimes she found herself glued to the iPad, straining to hear what he was saying to the twins as they took their bottles. Tonight he had Maggie in a normal hold and propped his legs on Noah's chair. Wyatt sat in the middle of his crossed legs. Most nights Ed lingered in their room for a while, rocking them, cognizant of the fact they would soon sleep through the night and these moments would no longer be necessary, but tonight he had other things on his mind and returned to his wife's side, allowing the mobiles to soothe the twins back to sleep.

Olivia, still completely naked, snuggled into him when he came back to bed. Ed shifted to his side so they were face-to-face, kissed her, hoped she wouldn't mind him bringing this up now, and said, "Tell me…about seeing the kids when you closed your eyes."

Olivia's watered-down description of the panic attack omitted the burning in her chest and the intense fear that nearly brought her to her knees. Deep down she knew Ed wasn't going to let her get away with glossing over it, but she figured he would wait for another time to bring it up.

"I'm worried," he said innocently as if he expected Olivia to storm out of the room.

But she merely whispered, "Me too."

"Tell me," Ed repeated. The words were loaded and Olivia almost smiled. Ed teased her all the time about being too smart, that he couldn't get anything past her, but the opposite was true as well. Ed knew she was withholding details.

"It's been…a very long time since I've had one of those."

Ed reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. "One of…"

"That type of intense… _panic_."

He nodded. Exactly what he suspected. "When's the last time you had one?"

Olivia breathed deeply and thought. "A while ago. Before I had Noah. I was still coping with…Lewis and being Sergeant, Cragen leaving."

"A lot of stressors."

"Right."

"So today?"

"I don't know. Maybe a perfect storm—Simon reminding me of the past, this family with three kids…and, I didn't think about this before, Maggie and Wyatt going to day care now."

"You didn't _eat_ ," Ed added.

Olivia smiled. If all else failed, Ed's remedy was to eat something. "No…I didn't."

"I wish you woulda called me."

"In the heat of it, I was frozen. Couldn't move. And then I came right home."

"Do you…do you want to see Lindstrom?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Does it…seem like I need to?"

Ed felt tension building between them and he proceeded cautiously, trying to avoid saying the wrong thing. "That's…I don't think that's somethin' I can really tell, ya know? I just…I just want you to be okay and I want to be _enough_ , ya know, but I… _want you to be okay_."

Olivia put her hands on his chest. "All I need is you. And Noah. And Maggie and Wyatt. I feel so… _guilty_ …that sometimes I, I don't know… _regress_ and go to that place where I used to be, all alone."

Ed placed his hands over hers. "I told you a long time ago that I'll never stop reminding you that you're not alone anymore."

Olivia leaned in and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love that you _let_ me love you."

She copied his smirk. "Best decision I ever made."

…

Ed spotted Simon's hunched-over figure easily. Overdressed and scruffy, he was decidedly out of place in the trendy bistro Olivia had chosen as their meeting spot. A tinge of regret mixed with sympathy stung Ed when he noticed the man had claimed a large table, but he steeled his jaw and set forth to do what he needed to do to protect his wife and his family. Without preliminaries, Ed sat down.

"Simon."

Olivia's half-brother craned his neck around to see if his visitor had other people in tow, but he did not. He furrowed his brow, took a glimpse of Ed's left hand, and guessed, "Are you Olivia's husband?"

"Yes." Ed cordially extended a hand, "Ed Tucker."

"Simon Marsden. Is…is Olivia coming? The kids? I was—"

"I'm here because Olivia and my kids will not be."

The hope and excitement disappeared from Simon's features. On the way over, Ed prepared himself for a hostile adversary, but Simon only looked small and defeated. His face clouded with the realization that this moment was as close as he would get to his half-sister for the near future and maybe for the rest of his life.

"Oh."

"Listen," Ed still spoke through clenched teeth even though his demeanor softened a bit, not wanting to kick a man while he was down. He almost felt pity for Simon, who, with his patchy beard, tousled hair, and hazy eyes was more pathetic than menacing. "My family, Liv especially, has been through enough. And we've come outta everything, and we're extremely happy."

Simon blinked. He'd made a lot of mistakes and dumb decisions in his life, but he wasn't stupid. Ed was implying that his presence had the potential to darken that happiness, and he was probably right.

In case Simon didn't get it, Ed emphasized the point, "And I'm not letting anything or anyone jeopardize that," he said in a gravelly voice as if he all of a sudden hated that he'd felt sorry for Simon even if it was only for a few seconds.

"Why didn't Olivia come and tell me herself?" Simon asked, gathering every ounce of remaining courage in his body.

Understanding the question was the final round of ammunition Simon had in his arsenal, Ed shot him a devilish smirk. Last night when he mentioned he was planning to meet Simon alone, Olivia instinctively objected. Sending her husband to sever ties was a cop-out and childish. She could take care of herself. Nevertheless, Ed refused to relent and pointed out that she was no longer by _herself_ and any Simon-induced stress inevitably affected all Tuckers. So, in a rare instance of deference, Olivia stayed home and played with her children. Later that day, Sarah was hosting everyone for drinks, snacks, and Argentina stories.

"My wife has had a busy week," Ed explained, not really answering the question, "She's with the kids."

"Well, tell her I'm happy for her."

Ed didn't acknowledge the request. He pushed himself away from the table, signaling the conversation was nearing its end. "Take care of yourself," he said flatly. "Please don't contact us again."

Simon winced. Desperate, he mumbled, "I thought…with time…"

Shaking his head, Ed held up a hand and stood up. His tone devoid of all sympathy and kindness, he said, "I don't trust you."

With that, he walked briskly out of the bistro, and, within seconds, his mind was on other things.

…

The sunlight streaming in through the living room windows made the pine floors and granite countertops gleam. Sarah spent the morning organizing and cleaning, and the natural light enhanced her work. She vowed to open the drapes more often.

Brooke and Sonny sipped beers while leaning against the island. Sarah tried to press them for wedding details, but they both were content to enjoy their engagement and move toward a wedding at their own pace. Tomorrow they were going to Staten Island for dinner where Brooke would meet the extended Carisi family, and she wasn't exactly excited about the gathering.

"I feel like the whole _dinner_ is a ruse to inspect me," she said, only partially in jest.

"Ah," Sonny kissed her cheek reassuringly, "They're all gonna be wondering how in the world I ended up with someone so perfect."

Sarah swooned, "Omigod, omigod, omigod."

"Sarah? Are you sure you don't want me to leave?" Hillary appeared from the back of the apartment. Like everyone else, she was casually dressed in shorts and a tank top, but she also wore a worried expression. At the last minute, her new landlord postponed her move-in date and the firm's corporate apartment was being used by someone else. Sarah invited Hillary to stay with her until the new digs were available.

"Don't be silly," Sarah replied, waving her arms, "Come here and have a freaking drink and relax. Besides, I may need you to fill in some of the blanks when I show the pictures. As you know, I had my share of the Argentinian wine."

Hillary laughed softly. As soon as they landed in Buenos Aires, Sarah immediately dove into the culture. They worked only a few hours per day, had a late lunch, and then went out dancing. Hillary was mostly content to sit on the sidelines and watch Sarah sashay in her flowy, multi-colored skirts, but every once in a while she allowed herself to be dragged onto the dance floor.

"Okay, but, if you change your mind, let me know."

Brooke stepped in. "Stop. We're glad you're here."

Sarah slid a tumbler across the island and Hillary caught it before it fell to the floor. The gin, plastic tonic bottle, lemon and lime followed. "Drink." She turned around to get some ice and exclaimed, "Oh! I hear Noey!"

Brooke, Sonny, and Hillary exchanged amused glances. This building had thick, pre-war walls. There was no way…

Someone knocked twice and tried the door, which was unlocked. Noah, wearing his jersey, led the way into the kitchen, and, smiling jubilantly, exclaimed, "Hi guys!"

"Noey Boey!"

"Sare Bear!"

After Sarah finished smothering him with kisses, she sat him on the island. Noah contorted his body backwards and greeted Sonny and Brooke, who gave him an upside down kiss on the head.

"You remember Hillary, don't you?" Sarah prompted him.

"Uh-huh!" Noah bounced himself to the corner of the island where Hillary stood and hugged her.

"Hi Noah," Hillary said, somewhat surprised at the contact, "Thanks for the nice hug!"

"You welcome!"

Maneuvering the double stroller, Ed and Olivia lagged behind but eventually joined everyone in the kitchen. Sonny and Brooke immediately took Wyatt and Maggie. Sarah flung herself at Olivia, their initial reunion having been hampered by Olivia's awful day.

"Livvie!"

"Hi Sarah," Olivia said softly, absorbing the ferociousness of the hug, "Thank you for this. I can't wait to hear all about the trip. I'm sorry for—"

Sarah pulled away and swatted at her arm. "Nope. No sorries. Are you drinking? We brought back all kinds of different wines. I was planning to have a love affair and bring back a fiancée but that didn't exactly happen, well, not the fiancée, the love affair…" Sarah caught Hillary's eye and they both cracked up. "Oh, never mind about that, well, Livvie? Wine?"

Olivia nodded and Sarah uncorked another bottle.

For the second time in a few minutes, Hillary was pleasantly startled by affection from one of the Tuckers. Olivia first reached out for her shoulder and then wrapped her in a quick yet tight embrace. "It's good to see you. How have you been?"

The older woman's eyes and words were so sincere, Hillary nearly burst into tears. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to sound normal. "Really good. Thank you. How about you?"

Olivia looked at her twins being bounced in the arms of Sonny and Brooke. Ed had already cracked a beer and he chatted with them with one arm protectively around Noah. Sarah finished pouring an outrageously large glass of wine and handed it over.

She grinned at Hillary and leaned back against the counter so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"I've never been better."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	32. Chapter 32

_**A note about the last chapter: I really was surprised at the way some readers reacted to Ed's handling of Simon. I thought for sure the real controversy would be that Olivia allowed Ed to meet with him alone. I hesitated about whether or not the actual Olivia would let Ed step in like that. I did not hesitate about the decision to remove Simon from their lives. The last time we saw him on the show, OMB didn't exactly give off signals that she wanted to stay in touch. Every time Simon shows up, he causes problems. In this story, Olivia has everything she wants and certainly would not invite problems into her life and the lives of her husband and children. So, this chapter explores that idea a little more which I hadn't intended to do. Maybe Simon did deserve another chance, but Olivia and Ed are erring on the side of caution.**_

 **Thirty-two.**

Brooke fended off Sarah's request for an engagement party and a housewarming party, but when it came time to plan Sonny's birthday celebration, the older sister deferred to the younger one. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, Sarah decided to hold the party away from the Carisi-Tucker loft and nixed suggestion after suggestion until Brooke finally proposed they hold it at the bowling alley.

"We go all the time," she said, "He'll never suspect anything's up."

Sarah rolled her eyes and huffed, " _Gawwwd_ you two are boring. Are you sure you haven't been married for a hundred and fifty years already?"

"I'm sure."

With the venue chosen, the next task was the day. Sonny's birthday fell on a Friday which was usually tricky. Fridays, and weekends in general, were tough for all SVU detectives, and Carisi didn't like to use his personal relationship with the Tuckers to glean any unwarranted time off. Sarah, on the other hand, paid no attention to any potential allegations of favoritism.

"I'm just gonna ask Livvie."

" _Sarah_ , he's not going to like that. And, he'll get suspicious. All of a sudden, Olivia tells him he doesn't have to be on duty? We already agreed we'd just do his birthday some other time."

Sarah chewed on the inside of her mouth, pondering the protest. "Well, when did you decide to _dooooo_ his birthday?"

"We didn't decide."

"Well, maybe that Sunday? The next day's a holiday and you don't have to work."

Brooke shrugged. "It's not like I'm getting all fucked up."

"You never know," Sarah retorted in her teasing voice. "Okay, so, who else to invite?"

Brooke rattled off a list of Sonny's friends. He knew most of them through law school and a few still lived in New York. Other than that, the remaining people were family members and coworkers.

"Let's not have it too late," Brooke said, "I want Noah to be there. He'll get a kick out of surprising Sonny."

"Oh, Noey can stay up late. And Maggs and Wyatt will just sleep wherever."

"You don't think Dad and Olivia will get a babysitter?"

" _We're_ their babysitters," Sarah pointed out, "You know Daddy's been doing everything in his power not to hire a nanny."

"It doesn't seem like they need a nanny," Brooke said.

"I guess not."

"And they take the babies everywhere."

"They sure do."

Sarah wandered around in front of the large windows and gazed at the hubbub below. "When are you going to have a baby, Brookey?"

The question came out differently—it wasn't in the same jesting style as Sarah's typical inquiries.

Brooke answered sincerely, "Maybe in a year."

Sarah's eyes turned into saucers. "That's…definitive. You've talked about it?"

"Of course. We've talked about everything."

" _Everything_?"

"Sure. How long we want to live in the city. His job. My job. Kids. Honeymoon. The wedding. Didn't you and Jeff talk about all that before you got married?" Brooke kicked herself. It was a little cruel to ask the question given the fact that she knew Sarah and Jeff hadn't had a consensus on any of those things when they said their _I dos_.

Sarah didn't answer the question. "Wow," she sighed. "You're so…responsible."

"And so are you."

" _Right_."

"Seriously," Brooke joined Sarah at the window. "You got out of a marriage that wasn't going to work. Sure, maybe you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, but you learned a lesson. And…you didn't bring kids into the mix or stay married just to stay married."

"Fucking expensive lesson."

"Well…for Dad."

"I paid him back."

Now Brooke's eyes widened. "You did?"

"Yes. With my hiring bonus. I felt terrible. He tried not to take it. Twice. And finally I gave it to Livvie."

"And _she_ took it?"

"She said maybe she could get Daddy to take it if it was put into some sort of college fund for Noah. And he agreed to that. So…it's there."

Brooke pressed her lips into a smile. The inscrutable Sarah continued to baffle her. One minute she's dancing her way through Buenos Aires clubs and flirting herself into ownership of a priceless autographed soccer jersey for their little brother and the next minute she's the sole benefactor of said little brother's future. Brooke wanted to hug her, but hugging was not something the sisters did on a regular basis.

Anyway, Sarah quickly moved on to other things.

"Now…about this party."

…..

Since Olivia was in the middle of transferring clean dishes to the cabinets, the dishwasher door was open, and Ed snuck in the kitchen while his wife's back was turned, deftly hurdled the obstacle, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It's the weekend," he growled into her neck, "You shouldn't be doing _chores_."

"I thought that was precisely what weekends were for?"

"Nope."

Olivia neatly lined up glasses as if her husband weren't draped across her back, stepped over and grabbed a handful of silverware and sorted the knives, forks, and spoons with Noah's child-sized versions occupying their own single slot above the others.

"Mommy! Your phone!" Noah was busy with a new train table, this one a smaller version of what he had in his room and purchased specifically for afternoons like this one when everyone was in one place. He didn't like being relegated to his room if he wanted to play with his trains. Scattered across the living room table was his homework—a family tree project which had taken on a life of its own and would probably be finished by Ed and Olivia late Sunday night, the first of many parent-completed student-owned projects Noah would submit in his life.

"Who is it, sweet boy?"

Ed had cajoled Olivia into turning around and was pecking at her face.

"Sare bear!"

"Press the green button and say hello," Olivia instructed, her lips on Ed's.

The two of them broke into laughter and coyly wiped at their lips when they heard Noah say, "Mommy kissin' Daddy right now!"

Sarah must have instructed him to interrupt them, because he trudged over, apparently a little annoyed the trip had taken him away from his track construction. He handed the phone to his mother and, on the way back, handed Wyatt a toy that had been flung out of the five month old's reach. Wyatt grabbed it, kicked and waved his arms, smiled at his big brother, and again sent the toy flying. A few inches away, Maggie was entranced by the mirror image of herself and paid no attention to her brothers. Noah tried to return to his project, but Wyatt fussed as soon as Noah sat down, and the older brother went back to his side.

"Ok, Wyatt, I play with you for a little while. Want the red train?"

Ed watched all of this from the island. He still had a nagging feeling that Noah's love affair with his siblings was ephemeral, but for the time being, he relished how attentive and gentle Noah was with Maggie and Wyatt. His innate sense of what they wanted at any given moment was remarkable.

"A surprise party?"

Ed's attention shifted back to Olivia. She caught Ed's inquisitive glance and mouthed that Sarah was inviting her for a drink. He told her to go ahead and then whispered, "we'll be fine," when he saw her start to object. Finally, he sidled up to her again and whispered, "it's your day off, go see the girls for a couple hours."

Olivia negotiated a place that was more of a restaurant than a bar and decided to take Maggie along. She quickly changed clothes, put a ruffled purple dress and a sweater on Maggie, and, instead of taking the stroller, strapped her into the baby carrier.

She kissed everyone and said a cheerful, "be good boys," before leaving.

It was only a couple of blocks to the restaurant and Olivia, despite having Maggie's fifteen pound body attached to her chest, floated along the Manhattan sidewalk. She pressed her face against Maggie's head as much as possible and wished she could bottle the scent, a sweet combination of wipes, new and unblemished skin, baby shampoo, and fabric softener. She held Maggie's hands. At times like this, Olivia couldn't believe this was actually her life.

Sarah and Brooke were already seated at the bar, but the place was nearly empty and they both turned toward the door as soon as it opened.

"There they are!" Brooke exclaimed.

Sarah tried to extract Maggie from the carrier as Olivia was removing it, causing the whole apparatus to become tangled. Maggie started to cry a little, and all three women commenced with a chorus of _shhhhhhhhhhhs._ Finally, Maggie was free and in Sarah's arms.

"I do de-CLARE," Sarah announced in a southern accent, "I am chagrined to say that I am most certainly underdressed for the occasion. Small sister, you are attired beautifully today!"

Brooke gushed over Maggie's footwear, "Oh my gosh, Olivia, those _flats_." Accenting Maggie's purple dress, white cardigan, and matching purple leggings were a pair of shiny silver Mary Janes.

Maggie's tiny mouth curled into a smile and her blue eyes sparkled as she strained to paw at Sarah's necklace. Sarah traced an index finger along Maggie's jawbone.

Brooke reached over and smoothed her hair, "You're turning into a blonde, Maggs!"

"It's just been this past week her hair's lightened," Olivia said, "It almost happened overnight." She gazed lovingly at her daughter.

"I'm telling you, Livvie," Sarah kissed Maggie on the nose, "She looks just like me. Look at me, you'll know what she'll look like when she's twenty-three."

"You're twenty-six," Brooke corrected.

Sarah scoffed. "Whatever."

The ladies ironed out the details of the surprise party with Olivia assuring Sarah and Brooke that Carisi would be free from duty next Sunday. Rollins, Fin, and the new detective, Savage, could handle any calls, so she would be able to attend, too.

"And everybody must show up," Sarah insisted, "Babies, Noey, Daddy."

"Of course."

Olivia's phone vibrated. She'd placed it in plain view on the table, so both Brooke and Sarah saw the caller's identity before Olivia declined the call.

"Who's Simon?" Sarah asked.

Brooke shook her head at the brazen intrusion in Olivia's business, but she, too, was curious. Immediately, both sisters realized something sensitive had been exposed.

"He's my brother," Olivia croaked, keeping her eyes fixed on Maggie.

"Your _brother_?" Sarah was incredulous. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"Half-brother," Olivia clarified. "I…I didn't find out about him until a few years ago."

Knowing Olivia's past was peppered with traumatic experiences, Brooke typically shied away from these types of conversations, but even she posed a question. "How did you find him?"

Olivia took a deep breath and released a long sigh, buying time and sorting through what to tell and what to hold back regarding Simon. Bits and pieces of her life had been revealed to Sarah and Brooke along the way, but she had always been careful to give them the honest facts with minimum detail. It wasn't that Olivia objected to unearthing the past, it was that she didn't want the girls to have those stories in their heads. She didn't want their perception of her to be tainted.

"I never knew my father," she began, "And I always wondered about him."

Everyone's eyes turned to Maggie. They were all thinking the same thing.

 _You're so lucky, baby girl._

Olivia continued. "So, when we worked a case and familial DNA was used, I had a kinship analysis with mine run." She winced. " _Illegally_."

The girls remained silent.

"Simon…had a record. So, there was a hit. And I found him." Olivia glanced at her phone and noticed Simon hadn't left a message. Briefly, she marveled that he still had the same number from all those years ago.

Slack-jawed, Sarah cradled Maggie to her chest.

Brooke asked another question. "A _hit_ means that he committed a crime, right?"

"Right, well, he'd been arrested" Olivia replied, "He's had a run of bad luck with the justice system. But…every time he gets in trouble, he makes the worst possible decisions. I stuck my neck out for him before, and I got burned, almost lost my job, and it's like, every once in a while, he pops back in…"

"When's the last time you saw him?"

"A few years ago."

"And he's…you're, well," Brooke searched for the right words, "Are we going to meet him?"

"No," Olivia played with her cocktail napkin, "I, well, _we_ , your Dad and I, have decided it's better if we keep him out of our lives. Every time he's shown up, things have turned out badly for me. I don't trust him, and…it's…it's not only me that I have to worry about anymore."

Maggie broke the tension by letting out a gleeful shriek. She inadvertently smacked Sarah's face as she thrust her arms about and then she threw her head back. Glimpsing her Mommy, she blew spit bubbles and squealed again.

"Whatcha so excited about, Maggs?" Brooke cooed.

"Happy baby," Olivia added. "She's always so happy, well, except when she wants to eat or wants her diaper changed, then she lets you know. But then she's all smiles again."

"Maggie May," Sarah whispered and kissed her head.

"Can I have her?" Brooke asked. She'd been waiting patiently, but without a verbal request, Sarah would definitely hog the baby for an indefinite amount of time.

"Okay," Sarah said, and reluctantly handed her over, "Livvie, it's a good thing you had two."

"It'll be funny," Brooke said as she sat Maggie on the edge of the table, facing her, "Maggs, you're going to be a really young aunt at some point."

Now it was Olivia and Sarah who exchanged shocked glances. Only this time, Sarah did not hold her tongue.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sarah sniffed Brooke's beer as if she could detect whether or not there was alcohol in it. Next, she examined her midsection. "Are you preggers?"

" _No_ ," Brooke scoffed. " _Geeez_. I'm just…I'm liking the idea now. I'm excited about it."

Olivia leaned forward on her elbows, "Have you and Carisi decided on a wedding date? Place?"

Brooke blushed and shyly tucked her blonde hair behind her ears, one side at a time so she could keep one hand on the wiggly Maggie. "Sonny wants the traditional Catholic wedding, which is fine with me. We've, uh, well, we've been meeting with his priest. They…require it."

"Brookey, for fucking Christ's sake, what the _hell_? Instinctively, Brooke covered Maggie's ears and Sarah laughed derisively. "Oh puh-lease! I have at least six more months before I have to filter around small sister and baby brother." Sarah put her face flush with Maggie's, "You do realize you'll be small sister forever, right, princess?"

"Noah sure captured our hearts with that one," Olivia remarked.

Sarah let her head collapse on the table. " _Noeyyyyy_. _Gawwwd_. Livvie. He's so perfect."

"He's been amazingly wonderful," she admitted, "And your Dad…well, the two of us, we're both a little worried about whether or not that will continue."

Brooke went into educator mode. "The research shows that kids who are well-adjusted and have strong bonds with their parents actually do better when new siblings come along, but, the other variable is the level of independence. Noah's…actually been really independent for a kid his age."

Olivia smiled and joked, "So, me being an absent parent is actually a good thing?"

"Livvie!" Sarah admonished, "You're not _absent_! Brookey just means that Noah's used to a lot of people and—"

Brooke put a hand across her sister's collarbone, "She knows. And, I'm saying, that Noah is a people person. Look at how he warmed up to us so quickly. He's good with people."

"We bought him presents. Of course he was going to like us."

Brooke laughed. "Point taken. But still, he's… _affable_." Brooke said all of this with her exclusive knowledge of Noah's parentage. Not even Olivia knew that Sonny had revealed that information. "Anyway…Sonny wants a winter wedding of all things."

"Winter?" Sarah spat out as if the words were way past their expiration date.

"Winter. He…he really liked your wedding, Olivia, he actually wants the reception where you got married. And…I'm okay with it. I would marry him tomorrow if he wanted."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "I said the same thing."

"But I really mean it. I love him." Brooke almost glared at her sister, "I never once heard you say you loved Jeff."

Olivia tore up what was left of the napkin. Banter between Sarah and Brooke was regular, but when one of them tweaked a nerve, the mood quickly soured. She desperately looked at Maggie, hoping the baby would again provide a diversion.

Sarah shrugged it off. "You're right. I never said that. I don't even know if I said it to him."

Olivia's eyes widened even more.

Sarah noticed and shot her a mischievous grin, her eyes crinkling, "Oh, _Livvie_. I know you could never even imagine that…you and Daddy probably _I love you_ all the time. I…I love that. Honestly," Sarah made sure to lock her blue eyes on Olivia and then Brooke, "You're kind of a fairy tale."

Embarrassed, Olivia ducked her head for a second. "We are…I guess…a little bit."

"So now we create Brookey's."

"We're having a wedding in the church and a normal reception. Nothing else."

"Are you inviting Mom?"

"Of course."

"Have you seen Aidan lately?"

Brooke frowned. She had not done a good job of maintaining contact with their half-brother. "No." She kissed Maggie again, "I guess we've all been caught up with the babies."

"Fuck Aidan."

" _Sarah_!"

Even Olivia, who had never been privy to the discussions about the other side was a little taken aback by the venom in Sarah's voice.

"Brookey, how many times did you hold Aidan when he was a baby?"

Brooke shrugged. "I dunno."

"Zero." Sarah banged the table with her palms, "Zeeeee-ro. I'm so happy you're okay with us, Livvie."

"Okay with you?"

"You didn't have to love us. You didn't even have to pay attention to us, you—"

Olivia grasped Sarah's wrists. She had to fumble around, past the bangles, but Olivia eventually maneuvered so she was skin-on-skin and then she grabbed for Brooke's arm, too. "I loved the two of you immediately."

Sarah smirked, just like her father, "Even though we kidnapped you?"

"That day," Olivia recalled, "That whole weekend…was so fun. And important." Olivia's smile lingered as she remembered the girls showing up unannounced at the precinct and then coaxing Olivia to help them surprise their father.

"Sure was!" Brooke exclaimed in a baby-talk voice. She was making faces at Maggie and letting the baby play with her face.

" _Gawwwwd_ ," Sarah gushed, "I so loved that time. I mean, it doesn't compare to now, but I was so excited. I _knew_ Daddy was going to marry you."

"She did," Brooke added, making clear this was not another of Sarah's exaggerations, "When I dropped her at the train to go back home, the last thing she said was _don't be a stranger to our new stepmother_."

Sarah beamed. "I called it," she stated proudly. "I am very good at arranging other people's love lives. Mine? Not so much."

The ladies, Maggie included, burst into laughter at the self-deprecating humor.

" _Whooooweeee_ ," Sarah said breathlessly, "I think we need another round."

"One more," Olivia said, "And then Maggie and I have to get home to the guys."

….

The guys were hanging out on the couch when Maggie and Olivia returned home. Noah was parked against Ed's side, a plastic bowl of potato chips in his lap. Both he and Ed plucked the snacks from the bowl. With his other arm, Ed cradled Wyatt who was surrounded by plastic and plush toys. A college football game was on television, and the sound was turned up so high, nobody heard the door open and close.

"There they are!" Ed smiled broadly. "Did our girls have a good day?"

"Yes we did." Olivia deposited Maggie on Ed's lap so he was almost completely buried with kids.

Noah giggled and clutched the bowl. "Hi small sister! Nope. Can't have p'tato chips yet! Still too little! Daddy, we haveta buy lotsa chips when da babies get teeth!"

"Oh, we will, bud, don't you worry about that!"

"I'm going to get into something more comfortable," Olivia said, "Then let's talk dinner. I'm starving."

Olivia and Ed soon got to work making tacos. At the last minute, they realized they were out of tortillas, laughed at their lack of foresight, and quickly made some rice.

"We'll do burrito bowls instead," Ed concluded. "No problem."

They ate at the table. Noah, Ed, and Olivia in their normal chairs and the babies in their new Bumbo seats. The family tree project materials were pushed off to the other end of the table. Ed and Noah had made some progress on it that afternoon and would easily finish the next day. After dinner they played a few hands of Uno and then retreated to the couch for a movie before beginning the bedtime routine. With all three kids in their beds, Olivia and Ed cuddled together on the couch. The television was on, but the sound was turned low. The only light filtered in from the under-cabinet lighting in the kitchen and the purplish hue from the wide screen.

"I told Sarah and Brooke about Simon today."

The admission took Ed by surprise. "You did?"

"I kind of had to," Olivia explained, "He called."

"Simon?"

"Yes. I didn't pick up. And he didn't leave a message."

"Has he been calling?"

"No. This was the first time."

Unsure how to respond, Ed simply grunted.

"I'm sorry about all of this Ed."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about, Liv," he replied softly.

Olivia pressed a kiss to his chest. "I don't want to have to think about him anymore. Maybe…maybe it was a bit harsh to tell him not to contact us again, maybe I should've gone…for closure."

"For you or for him?"

"I suppose…for him."

"Liv, sometimes you have to let people go."

"I know…you understand, though, right?"

"You don't trust him. It's a no brainer. But I also know you're gonna second guess yourself because you….you, Olivia Margaret, have the biggest heart I've ever seen."

"Right," Olivia sighed.

She didn't sound convinced. Ed gently guided her into a more upright position and looked her in the eyes. "Don't second guess yourself, Liv. Right now…keeping him out of our lives is the best choice. He'll find his way. Or not. Whatever happens, it's not your concern, nor is it your _fault_."

Olivia forced a tiny smile. "You're right. It's just…when he shows up, it brings back…so much."

Ed kissed her cheek once, twice, three times, and pulled back, his eyes were heavy with desire now and his voice was just above a whisper. "He's not showin' up again." He dragged his lips along her other cheek now and felt her fingertips dig into his back. "Never again."

" _Ed_." Olivia buried her head into his neck and soaked up the comfort of being in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he droned into her ear, biting at her earlobe. "And I'm not letting anyone ruin what we've built. _Are building_." He tilted her head back and planted kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. Olivia let herself fall backwards and they both laughed when she landed on Wyatt's toys.

"Want to go to bed?" Ed rasped, sliding his hands under her t-shirt.

Olivia shook her head. Her eyes blazed with urgency.

"No. Make love to me right here."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	33. Chapter 33

**Thirty-three. Warning: no plot/heavy fluff.**

Noah sat cross-legged on the bathroom counter and carefully mimicked with a plastic-covered razor the strokes Ed made across his own face with actual blades. Earlier, his electric razor conked out in a buzzing death spiral, so he opted for a manual shave this morning, and, seeing Noah looking on with interest, invited him to give it a "try."

"Good job, bud," Ed coached, "Gotta go against the grain. Nice work. Go ahead and rinse."

Noah's face was almost completely covered with shaving cream and Ed had to be careful not to slice himself as he smirked at his son through the mirror.

Noah tested a tiny portion of his neck. "Nice and smooth," he murmured.

"Gotta be nice and smooth to go to school and to work."

"Yep!"

Ed finished up, splashed water on his face, and dried off with a hand towel.

"Ready bud? Put your face down here." Noah leaned down so his head was almost entirely in the sink and shrieked gleefully as Ed sprayed him with water and then buried his face in the towel. The two of them faced the mirror. Noah cocked his head, scrutinizing his appearance. Ed ran his fingers through his gray hair, not bothering with a comb. Noah copied those movements, too. He'd just had a haircut and his damp hands made his short brown tresses momentarily spiky.

"I look like the steg-a-saur-us again!"

"Sure do!"

"Daddy, you do it!"

Ed ran more water and spiked his own hair which caused Noah to break into giggles. He definitely was not used to such a look on his father.

"Sounds like you two are having a fun morning." Olivia smiled at the scene from the doorway and raised an eyebrow when her gaze shifted to the counter. "You used my shaving cream?"

"Yes we did," Ed replied, unabashedly, "I was lucky I didn't have to use your razor."

"I shaved, Mommy!" Noah stuck out his jaw, "Feel my face! Smooooooooth!"

Olivia ran the back of her fingers over Noah's cheeks. "Oh my… _such_ smooth skin, sweet boy. Good job! You're all cleaned up and ready for school!"

Noah peered down at his bare chest. "Gotta get my shirt on!"

Ed picked him up and inspected his khakis, "And maybe a different pair of pants." He put Noah down, "Go pick out the shirt you wanna wear, bud. We gotta hit the road soon." Noah scampered off and Ed grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her close for a kiss.

" _Mmmm_ ," she nuzzled his cheek, "You smell like strawberries." She felt Ed smile and kissed him along the jaw. "Want to use my face cream, too? It has avocado oil in it."

"You must be hidin' that on me."

"It's right here," Olivia plucked a small jar from her collection of products, opened it, and applied the contents to Ed's face. "There."

"So that's the trick to this skin?" Ed bit lightly at her cheeks.

Olivia leaned into him. "Mmmmhmmm."

"Twins nurse okay?"

"Yes they did. Fed, dressed, and in their swings. Are you sure you don't want me to drop them at day care?"

"Nah, it's not on your way." Ed turned toward the window. The morning sky was gray and cloudy, "Supposed to be cold today."

"Their coats and hats are on the couch. They'll be fine with that and their blankets."

"Okay." Ed kissed her again, this time lingering on her lips longer and holding her close to his body. They were both still in their sleepwear and Ed let his hands drift inside the elastic of her pants, giving her behind a playful squeeze.

Not exactly an innocent participant, Olivia clawed at his hips, pressing his pelvis to hers, and gasped into his mouth. " _Ed_."

Noah's approaching footsteps necessitated that they break apart and Olivia whispered a throaty, "later," which made Ed shiver. Knowing exactly what she did to him, Olivia cocked an eyebrow and moved past him into the walk-in closet.

Noah skipped in. He'd chosen a long-sleeved black polo and changed into black cargo pants which he was having trouble buttoning. Ed helped him out and remarked, "All black today, huh?"

"Like a ninja!" He exclaimed, making slashing moves with his arms.

"Ninja, huh?"

"Yep! You wanna be a ninja?"

"I do," Ed replied, buttoning his dress shirt, "But I gotta talk to some people about being police today. So maybe later."

"Mommy?" Noah called into the closet. "You a ninja?"

Olivia emerged from the closet in gray slacks and a white blouse. She held her black blazer. "Not today, sweet boy. Just the plain old Lieutenant today."

Ed smiled. "The _best_ lieutenant."

"Yep!" Noah agreed. "Mommy the BEST police!" He ran out of the room, his voice trailing off as he got farther away. "Gotta get the police badge, Mommy…where's the police badge…"

…

Olivia left, albeit hesitantly, as if she suspected Ed was going to allow Noah to play hooky. Ed checked the weather once again and ushered Noah into his fleece jacket, also black, deciding that this was adequate for today. He added his black beanie for good measure and, with his white-and-black Adidas sneakers the only detractor, he could have easily passed for a ninja.

"Maybe you can be one for Halloween?" Ed suggested.

"Uh-uh."

"What do you want to be?"

"A DINOSAUR! Or police. Or…or…"

"We'll figure it out."

Neatly laid out on the sofa were the twins' recently purchased parkas: red and blue for Wyatt and pink and white for Maggie. Both had matching knit caps. Ed stuffed their little bodies into the outerwear, strapped them into the stroller, and tucked a fleece blanket around each of them. Almost totally buried, their eyes, noses, and a slivers of chin and cheek peeked out from the layers.

One look at his three bundled-up children and Ed immediately went for his phone's camera. He directed Noah to get his chair from the twins' room and stand on it as if he were pushing the stroller and then he got both Maggie and Wyatt to smile. This was easy with Wyatt. Ed put his hand on the baby's bulky torso and jostled him a little.

"Hey big guy!" Ed growled playfully, a voice he used only for Wyatt. "Let's smile big, okay?" His son's chubby cheeks and bright, round dark blue eyes warmed his heart. Wyatt shrieked gleefully and smacked his lips. "What bud? Whatcha wanna tell Daddy?"

Another shriek. Ed kept one hand on him and bent down to kiss what little of Maggie's face was exposed.

"Ok, beautiful girl. Gonna take a picture and we need a big smile." He nuzzled her cheek and she broke into a grin while trying to break free of the tight swaddle. Her arms and legs unsuccessfully fought against the purple blanket, but she, too, yelped and cooed at her Daddy, her blue eyes, a couple of shades lighter than her brother's, sparkled, and she blew her now-customary spit bubbles.

"Alright, No. Ready?"

"Ready, Daddy! CHEEEEEESE!"

Ed snapped several photos in succession. Maggie and Wyatt, apparently highly entertained, continued cry out happily.

"Silly babies!" Noah said, giggling. He climbed off the chair and did a half-dance half-ninja move which made Wyatt break into full-blown gurgled belly laughter. Seconds later, Maggie joined in. Noah, never having heard his baby brother and sister actually laugh before, cracked up. Ed fumbled with his phone, desperately trying to find the red record button.

"Keep doin' that, No," he muttered.

"Oh my God," Ed murmured, laughing softly as he filmed Noah's moves and the twins' jubilant reaction. Noah grabbed Wyatt's giraffe and made it dance. The twins laughed even harder.

"Daddy, they LAUGHING!"

"I know, bud, isn't it great?"

"Uh-huh!"

Eventually, everyone needed to catch their respective breaths. Ed double and triple checked that he had the video saved. Initially, he was excited and anxious to send it to Olivia, and then he decided to wait until they were together later.

Though he was ecstatic, he knew his wife would hate that she'd missed this milestone.

…..

No sooner had all five Tuckers reunited that night that Ed got a frantic text from Sarah.

 _Daddy, the dishwasher's leaking. HELP!_ She included a video of a slow-growing puddle creeping out from under the appliance.

He let Noah eat an early dinner, knowing he was tired from his day at school. Before she left the precinct, Olivia suggested they order in later after everyone had gone to bed.

"I won't be long," he said, pulling on his jacket and grabbing his wallet, "At least I hope I won't."

"Keep me posted." Olivia looked up at him sweetly from her spot on the edge of the play mat where the twins were on their tummies. It was still a bit early for crawling, but both babies were raising themselves up on their hands and giving some indication they were trying to scoot. She placed toys just slightly out of their reach, trying to get them to inch forward.

"I'll bring back dinner. Ya want anything in particular?"

"Whatever you bring is fine," she replied. "Kiss?"

"Of course." As he leaned down his phone almost escaped his coat pocket and he remembered the video. The laughter. And he wondered if Noah would say anything while he was gone. Glancing over at his older son, curled up in the beanbag with the iPad, he guessed he would not. It was Monday, and Mondays were exhausting for Noah since Ed and Olivia had a hard time adhering to his normal bedtime and daily routine on the weekends.

Ed crouched down. "Bye twins!"

Maggie and Wyatt were concentrating on holding up their heads and shoulders and had little interest on focusing on anything else. Ed patted their heads and went over to Noah.

"I haveta go fix Sarah's dishwasher, bud," he explained, "Gimme a hug and a kiss in case I'm back after you go to bed."

Noah lazily lifted his arms. "Sare bear breaked the dishwasher?"

Ed squeezed his son, kissed his cheek, and put him back in the beanbag. "No. It's just old. Love ya, bud."

"Luvvvyou, Daddy!"

….

As expected, Noah fell asleep easily and ahead of his regular bedtime, so Olivia had a little time alone with the twins. She transferred them from their swings back to the play mat and sat down, ready to get them into their pajamas. As usual, she started with Wyatt. He was less fussy about getting his diaper and clothes changed and tonight was no exception. She easily zipped him into the footie dinosaur pajamas, snapped the flap just under his chin, and gave him his Wubbanub.

Maggie was next. Her sleeper was the same style but instead of dinosaurs hers were gray with white polka dots.

"Good _girl_ ," Olivia said sweetly as Maggie, for once, held still during this process. She squeezed the baby's fattening thighs, "Catching up to your brother, Maggs." Olivia leaned down and gave her eskimo kisses. Maggie's delicate facial features crinkled into a smile and she screeched a little at her Mommy. "Talking to me, sweet girl? Did you have a good day at day care?" More screeches.

To her left, Wyatt had flung his tiger Wubbanub to the side. He was on his back and strained to see where his combination toy/paci landed.

"Oh my God," Olivia gasped as he worked himself from his back to his side. Both twins had rolled over from their tummies to their backs, but they hadn't quite mastered the more difficult opposite move. Olivia left Maggie momentarily unzipped and dashed to get her phone.

"C'mon, Wyatt," she coaxed. "Get it! Get that tiger!"

He teetered on his side for a few seconds.

"You can get it, baby boy! Just a little farther."

She fought the urge to help him out. His fists were balled at his mouth as if he were content to suck on his hands rather than try to get the pacifier. Then he reached out with his left arm and toppled over onto his belly. Olivia expected him to cry as he face-planted into the mat, but Wyatt wiggled his arms out from under his chest and lifted his head.

"Wyatt! You did it! You rolled over! What a strong, strong boy!"

Wyatt's expression changed from shocked to jubilant as he reacted to his mother's tone and her smile. The camera was still on him and he batted his eyes before letting his head drop a bit, probably out of exhaustion, but it looked like he was embarrassed at the attention.

"Good boy!" Olivia kissed his head. "Daddy's gonna be so proud of you!"

 _Daddy_.

Olivia zipped and buttoned Maggie and pulled both babies into her lap for a cuddle session, trying to lessen the sting of being the sole witness to this developmental "first."

…

When he returned home, Ed stopped in the twins' room, kissed them, and adjusted their blankets. He poured himself a drink and joined Olivia in the bedroom, lit only by a nightstand lamp which gave Olivia just enough light to peruse her magazine. He kissed her on the forehead, put his bourbon on the opposite nightstand, and went into Noah's room. Perfectly snug under his covers, the little boy offered no reaction to Ed's kiss.

"Get it fixed?" Olivia asked, guessing by his body language that he had not.

"Nope. Ended up just cutting off the water to that part of the kitchen. Called the super and someone's coming in the morning. Be right back." Ed disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and returned shirtless and in sweatpants. "Everything go okay here?"

"Perfect." Olivia reached for her phone. "Watch this."

Ed's smile grew as he watched the video. "Lookit that," he gushed. "Atta boy, Wyatt! _Wow_. Is…is this early for that? Late? Maggs hasn't done that yet."

"I was just reading about that. They're just at five months. And an early five months. Wyatt's ahead of schedule. Maggie's just fine. I'm surprised he did it first though, he's so… _big_."

Ed laughed. "Big, strong guy."

Olivia massaged Ed's torso, "Like his Daddy." She kissed at his chest but stopped when she didn't feel Ed start to join the foreplay. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin." He grabbed his phone. "Big day for the Tucker twins." He showed Olivia the pictures first and grinned at her reaction. "Cute, huh?"

"Adorable. That could be part of our Christmas card."

"Well, it gets better."

He hit play.

Noah's little dance.

The twins' laughter.

Noah, wide-eyed, looking at Ed and exclaiming, "THEY LAUGHING!"

Olivia's eyes glistened. "They _laughed_."

"They laughed."

She replayed the video. "This…is so precious."

"I couldn't believe it at first. Obviously Noah couldn't either."

"Oh my God. This is…just…perfect."

"I wanted to send it to ya, but I didn't…"

"Want me to feel guilty?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah."

"I felt the same way tonight," she said, "But I suppose…we're not both always going to be there when they hit these milestones, right?"

"Right." Ed replied, relieved she wasn't upset.

"However, I do kinda want to go wake them up and make them laugh now," Olivia said, laughing.

Ed took the phone from her and put it back on the nightstand. "How 'bout we let 'em sleep and do something else in the meantime?"

"That…works too."

"C'mere." Ed draped himself over Olivia and smothered her face with kisses. "I missed you today," he murmured.

Olivia had trouble finding room to respond and when she did, her words were muffled by Ed's lips, "I missed you. I always miss you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You have no idea how much I love knowing we'll be together at the end of the day."

"I do. I feel the same way," Olivia gasped as Ed moved down her body, "And…I've wanted you since this morning."

"I've wanted you since forever."

….

The next morning Olivia dropped Noah off at school and returned home, opting to go in late since there was nothing pressing at the precinct. Ironically, ever since One PP sent her the extra detective, the amount of calls to SVU declined. The squad enjoyed the calm albeit with the understanding that things could explode at any time.

Ed took Wyatt to his old apartment to meet with the super and the repairman. It was still early and Sarah and Hillary were there, drinking coffee and apparently in no hurry to leave for work. Ed supervised the work in the kitchen and the ladies played with Wyatt in the living room.

Sarah bounced him on her thighs and made every sound imaginable as she buried her face into his belly, trying to make him laugh. Ed told the story of the previous morning, and Sarah was desperate to hear it for herself.

"He is so cute," Hillary remarked. "Those _cheeks_."

"I _know_ ," Sarah replied, "He's so chunky and I just wanna eat you up, Wyatt!" She growled and nuzzled his neck. "And I also approve of your outfit today, baby brother. Love the overalls. Daddy? Do the twins get upset when they're separated like this?"

"They don't seem to. But when we're all together they like to see each other, be next to each other."

" _Sooooo_ adorable," Sarah said.

Wyatt turned and looked at Hillary. He smiled, and Hillary covered her face, playing peek-a-boo. She concealed and revealed her face twice. Wyatt grinned and his eyes glistened with awe. On the third time, he let out a shriek. On the fourth, he broke into laughter.

"Keep going!" Sarah urged.

Ed looked on from the kitchen, grinning at the now-familiar sound.

Hillary continued and Wyatt cracked up, giggling and throwing his arms into the air.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod. I need video. Here." Sarah passed Wyatt to Hillary.

The weight of the baby sent Hillary back into the cushion. Wyatt yelped a little and Hillary held him so he faced her.

"Wanna play more, Wyatt?" More peek-a-boo required her to put Wyatt down, and she didn't want to do that at the moment. He batted at her face, grabbed her nose, and then tangled one of his hands in her hair. "Ope, let's let Hill keep her hair. Here, wanna play with this?" She grabbed a nearby toy—a bumblebee—and cradled him as he shook the toy around and then sat back and gnawed at it.

Sarah had apparently gotten sidetracked with something from work, and Ed eventually brought a bottle over.

"He should want to eat soon," he said, "Lemme get ya his bib."

While Hillary fed Wyatt, everyone else gathered in the kitchen. The repairman had patched up the leak, but remarked that a new dishwasher was probably needed. Ed frowned and muttered something about a warranty. Sarah shrugged off the news.

"Daddy, I'll pay for a new one. We'll just get something that works…but looks good. I'm going to start looking for a place of my own so you can sell this one. No reason for you to keep sitting on it."

Such an announcement out of the blue stunned Ed and he gawked at his daughter for a few seconds before responding. "Uh, well, I told ya you could stay as long as you wanted."

"And this is as long as I want. I need a new neighborhood anyway."

"Where?"

"I don't know. Maybe near Brooke. Or maybe in your building," She teased.

"Well, don't rush into anything," he advised.

"Now when have I ever done _that_?"

Father and daughter burst into laughter.

Sarah held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, never mind, um, well…"

"Just keep us posted," Ed was still chuckling.

"Okay," Sarah replied, "You know, if I move into your building, you can have babysitters at the ready. Hillary wants to babysit, too, right, Hill?"

Trying not to appear taken aback, Hillary replied politely, "Sure…if I'm needed I'd love to."

Ed smiled graciously, "We appreciate it."

"Want me to keep Wyatt today?" Sarah asked hopefully, "I can skip work."

Ed shook his head, "Go to work. We're gonna go home and hang out with Liv and Maggie for a while."

Sarah jabbed a finger in the middle of Ed's chest, "At some point you're gonna have to let me spend the day with those babies."

"Then what would I do?" Ed sassed.

"Oh, _Daddy_. You're adorable."

Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna try to find the warranty stuff for that dishwasher real quick. Will you get Wyatt ready to go?" He handed Sarah the parka and the hat.

"Right after I make him laugh one more time." She engaged the phone's camera, "Okay, Mister Wyatt, time for peek-a-boo with Sare bear!"

She was too late. Still in Hillary's arms, Wyatt was snoozing away.

….

#Tuckson


	34. Chapter 34

**Thirty-four.**

From her office, Olivia heard a child's voice but knew it didn't belong to one of her children. Too young to be Noah and he was at school anyway and too advanced to be Wyatt or Maggie. She sat up in her chair and peered out into the squad room, over the heads of Carisi, Fin, and Savage, and experienced a fleeting sense of dread when she saw Kim Rollins. It took her a second to remember how well Kim was doing. Plus, she had Jesse in tow. Olivia stayed put and let her detectives deal with the redeemed Rollins sister.

"Hey Kim," Fin greeted her kindly. "Amanda's not here."

Kim reacted with confusion. "She isn't? I have class and I was supposed to drop Jesse here on my way. The nanny has the day off today so little Jesse and I had a girls' morning."

Everyone instinctively looked back to the Lieutenant's office and Olivia felt their glares. She looked up and, sure enough, all eyes were fixed on her. She plastered a smile on her face and went out to see what was going on.

"Hi Kim."

"Hey there, Lieutenant. You look great!"

Olivia assumed the comment meant she showed no signs of having had twins five and a half months ago, and realized other people paid attention to this way more than she did. "Thank you," she replied politely. "And hello, Jesse!" She said in a much friendlier voice.

The toddler shyly waved hello.

Kim again explained that she was stuck. Amanda hadn't replied to her text, and she was due in class very soon. "I would skip it," she said, "but I have a presentation today."

Eying Kim's backpack and business casual attire, Olivia offered to take Jesse. "I'm sure Amanda won't be long. She'll be fine in my office. Some of Noah's things are in there."

"Oh good," Kim replied, relieved, "I didn't bring much for her, but, here's her bag. Thank you."

"No problem," Olivia held her arms out for Jesse and the bag, "Good luck."

Kim screwed up her face, perhaps a little shocked at the kindness.

"With your presentation."

She smiled nervously and rolled her eyes at herself, " _Oh_. Thank you. Bye Fin. Bye Sonny. Bye…" she looked at Savage, "I don't think we've met."

"Mike Savage," he said, extending his hand. "Nice to meet you. The Sarge is great. Good police."

"So I hear," Kim replied breezily. "Thanks again." She hustled to the elevator and bounced back and forth impatiently before the doors finally opened.

The men stared at Olivia, expecting to be directed to watch Jesse, but Olivia took her into her office just as she said she would.

"Totally thought we were gonna be on baby duty," Sonny said with a wry grin.

"Me too," Fin muttered. "Savage, you like kids?"

"Yeah. Hope to have a couple someday. Hard to keep a girlfriend…with this job. Or, maybe it's just me."

Fin appreciated his self-deprecating humor, "Naw, it's the job, man. Let's see. Of the five of us, the only ones in relationships are Carisi and Liv, and Liv's husband is a cop and Carisi's engaged to Liv's stepdaughter."

"Hey," Sonny interjected, "Lieu hates _stepdaughter_."

"Okay," Fin retorted, "How 'bout, _Tucker's_ daughter?"

"How about _Brooke_?"

Savage curled his lips pensively. "You're brave, man. Tucker, damn, I was anxious just going to his place for the party. He'd called me in once but I don't think he remembered."

"Oh he remembered," Fin replied sagely, "You don't think Liv saw your jacket and talked to him about it before she hired you here?"

"Of course, but, in the middle of the party…I don't think he paid any attention to me."

Carisi nodded, "You're probably right. You remember Fin—Tucker made that toast?"

"Yeah, I remember," Fin snickered, " _Tucker_ …" He noticed Carisi about to open his mouth and defend his future father-in-law and continued, "Man, you just don't know. I still can't believe it sometimes."

"I've been at IAB before," Carisi said, "I know how it is to be under the glare of the bright lights."

"Not Tucker's," Savage said, "And I didn't even _do_ anything."

Suddenly, Fin had an ally, "See? You know. So, this hard ass motherfucker who's done nothin' but bust our collective balls all these years comes along and sweeps our badass Lieutenant off her feet?"

"You've gotta be exaggerating," Carisi protested.

"I'm not."

"I don't think he is," Savage added with wide eyes.

"Now I'm not sayin' this isn't great," Fin clarified, "Liv's always wanted a family and now she has it, and I couldn't be happier for her. Tucker just surprised all of us is all."

"He's a great man," Carisi gushed, steadfast in his praise, "And a great father."

While the men traded Tucker stories, Olivia kept an eye on Jesse who was contentedly playing with Noah's cars while Olivia worked. She didn't bother contacting her Sergeant. She knew where she was and understood why it had taken longer than she'd planned. It would be easy to explain away to her sister as police business. Nevertheless, Jesse's presence made Olivia miss her kids, and she wished she could text someone for an update or a photo, but the twins were at day care and Noah was probably sitting at the lunch table at school sorting his food in order of preference. She smiled and imagined unpacking his lunchbox later that night and discovering only half of his carrots had been eaten.

An hour later, Rollins finally returned to the precinct. Obviously knowing she'd put someone in the bind, she rushed in, harried, loose strands of hair flying all over the place. Fin pointed to the Lieutenant's office and she made a beeline for the door.

"Sorry, Lieutenant," she apologized breathlessly and wiggled her fingers at Jesse, "C'mere baby girl."

"Oh, it was no problem. She was perfect. How'd it go?"

Rollins sighed deeply. Olivia could tell she wanted to talk and told her to close the door.

"What's up?"

"You know, I've been undercover a few times, mostly in Atlanta, and not for very long. And…each time, I couldn't wait to get out. Declan? He has this….love for it that I don't understand."

Olivia pressed her lips together in an understanding smirk, "Fin, Brian, Nick, they all were like that. There was something… _addictive_ …about being undercover. I was always willing to do it, but I was always glad when it was over."

Rollins glanced at the cluster of family photographs situated on the credenza, "Would you do it again?"

"It would have to depend on the situation, but if it required extended time away from ym family, no, no I wouldn't."

"So," Rollins kissed Jesse and let her squirming body loose, "Bottom line, he wants a relationship with his daughter, but I told him the only way that was happening is if he got out. I…I can't take the risk of secret meetings."

"Definitely not," Olivia agreed. "How did he take that?"

"He understands. And he apologized for even asking. We'll see. Sorry it took so long, I didn't want to leave without some kind of decision…which I ended up not even getting."

"Like I said, it was no problem. It's dead here. We haven't had a call since this morning, so everyone should be all caught up on their paperwork. At least," Olivia's eyes twinkled mischievously, "I think the men are all caught up on my personal life."

Rollins rolled her eyes. "Is Fin ever going to get over Tucker?"

"Probably not. And now he's got Savage on board."

"He knew Tucker?"

"He'd been to IAB before. Nothing major. Something from when he was in Narcotics."

Rollins turned around and saw the men now had their heads buried in their computers. "Did they realize your door was open?"

"Maybe they assumed I was too preoccupied with Jesse." Olivia checked the time. She had an hour before she had to pick up Noah. "Go ahead and go home, Amanda. Take the rest of the day. I'm leaving soon but I can come back later if they need me."

"Thanks Lieutenant."

"You're welcome. Have a good night."

…

The twins' day care was the same one Noah attended, so Ed Tucker was familiar to the staff. While not rude, he was never overly friendly when he arrived to pick up his kids, and the teachers frequently joked about the difference in the demeanor of the twins' parents. Olivia always smiled and chatted a bit. Ed was all business and rarely engaged in small talk unless it was completely necessary. Today he arrived in a suit, tie, and wool overcoat and declined offers of assistance. He got the twins into their parkas and hats, covered them with their blankets, and headed for the car, easily moving through the two sets of double doors with baby carriers in both hands.

After he snapped the seats into place, he paused for a second to smile at their little faces, pink after contact with the abnormally frigid late-October air. They stared back at him sweetly and Maggie screeched—a quick, sharp burst of sound.

"Okay, Maggs," Ed said in his defeated Dad tone, "We'll get goin." He brushed her cheek with his index finger and she shrieked again. Wyatt craned his head in her direction and blinked when Ed bopped his nose. "Let's go home, Tucker twins. Mommy and Noah are probably waitin' for us."

Ed had to park a block way from home and he walked briskly with the carriers. He loosely covered the twins' faces with their blankets and he felt a little bad for them when he saw their fists swatting at the fabric. "Hang tight, kiddos. Almost home." He didn't see Olivia and Noah walking toward them in the other direction because Maggie started crying and he was looking down at her.

"It Daddy!" Noah said, straining to break free from Olivia's hold on his hand.

"Yes it is, sweet boy. Hang on."

She wanted to watch her husband. There was something sexy in the juxtaposition of Ed Tucker, professionally dressed and steel-faced, carrying two babies at his side. He was walking fast and she knew he was worried about the twins getting too cold. If the temperatures stayed like this, the babies would need snowsuits sooner than she thought.

"He have the babies! Wanna see Maggie and Wyatt!"

"Okay, Noah. Go ahead."

She released him from his grasp and felt tears well in her eyes at the sight of Ed crouching, grinning, and greeting a jubilant Noah who was thrilled at what he perceived as a chance encounter on the street. Olivia waited for them at the building's entrance.

"Hi there," she gave him a quick peck, feeling the cold air on his lips.

"Hi," he nodded his thanks to the doorman and let Olivia and Noah walk in ahead of him, "Feels like January out there."

Once in the elevator, Olivia peeled back the blankets. Wyatt giggled, perhaps thinking this was another version of peek-a-boo, but Maggie was whimpering.

"It's okay, baby," Noah patted her head gently. "Daddy, where's the paci? Maggs needs her paci."

"It's in the bag, bud. We'll get it in a minute. I think she's just mad at me for coverin' her up."

"Silly baby," Noah cooed at her, "Ya haveta get covered up, Maggs! It cold! Mommy? It gonna snow?"

"I don't think so, sweet boy. Not yet." A certain warmth filled Olivia's chest as she thought about the cute pictures she would take of her children all bundled up and playing in the snow. Well, Noah would be playing. Maggie and Wyatt would be along for quick photo ops for the most part. Next winter they would be toddling around, but she didn't want to think that far ahead yet. She was enjoying every second of the twins at this age—rolling over, starting to sit up on their own, and trying to scoot on their tummies. Every day they were more animated and made more noises. Every day she made sure to get them to erupt in the deep belly laughter that filled her heart with joy. Their new favorite source of hilarity was when Noah made buzzing noises and flew a small plush airplane into their bellies.

Once inside the apartment, it took a full thirty minutes for everyone to get settled. Coats on the coat rack, shoes lined up near the door, Noah's backpack on the island next to Olivia's purse, the twins propped in their Boppies on the play mat, Ed and Olivia quickly changed into jeans and sweatshirts, and Noah helped himself to a snack from his designated area in the pantry.

Olivia sifted through Noah's bag and paid particular attention to the green folder used for parent-teacher communication. So far this week he'd earned smiley faces in conduct and completed all of his work. She read the "looking ahead" section of his teacher's memo. Next week in their social emotional learning segment, they would be talking about happiness, and the students were supposed to prepare a set of photos or a collage representing things that make them happy.

Olivia explained the project to Noah. "We'll get you a board and you can show Mommy and Daddy the pictures you want to put on it. It can be…" she hesitated, not wanting to influence his decisions too heavily but desperate to see what he would choose, "It can be pictures of people or it can be your drawings. Or something from a book or a magazine. Whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy."

"Happy?"

"Yep. Whatever makes you laugh or smile or feel good!" Olivia picked him up and hugged him. "Like, I'm happy when I'm hugging my sweet Noah."

"I happy when I'm hugging sweet Mommy!" Noah squeezed her neck. "And! Mommy, lemme down!" He trotted over to the twins, "When I hug da sweet babies!" Maggie and Wyatt squealed at the contact.

"They're happy when you hug them."

"Babies getting loud, Mommy!"

"I know! Wait til they start talking!"

"Mommy talk! Daddy talk! Noah talk! Wyatt talk! Maggie talk! Everrrbody talk!"

"And don't forget about Sarah and Brookey," Ed added as he walked into the room. "That's a lot of talking. At that point, Daddy may just be listening." He joined Olivia at the island, kissed her cheek and neck, took a deep breath against her skin, and kissed her once more. "Why are we talking about talking?"

"It started with this."

Olivia showed him the assignment.

"Happy, huh? Well, we got an excellent grade on the family tree project, so I bet we'll do great on this one, too."

"You know what? Noah? This weekend, why don't you take pictures of the things that make you happy and we'll print those and put them on your board." Olivia beamed at her idea, but Noah had already moved on to other things, namely his iPad and his beanbag chair. He mumbled something that could have been a response or he could have been talking to himself.

"That's a great idea," Ed rasped into her ear.

"Thank you."

"Dinner? I'm starved."

"Yep. Let's eat. That slow cooker is the best thing we ever bought." Behind them was a pot full of beef stew that had been simmering all day. The savory smell wafted through the apartment. "I'll cut up the baguette."

Ed got to work setting the table. "Liv, you having wine?"

She checked her supply of frozen breast milk. "Please."

Ed's phone buzzed against the countertop. "Who is it?" He asked.

"Sarah."

"What's going on?"

Olivia typed in his passcode and smiled at the message. "The new dishwasher has been installed."

Ed squinted to see the picture. "Great," he muttered.

"Has she said anything else about moving?"

"No. I give her another year. Maybe two."

"Hillary still there?"

"No, she moved into her place last weekend."

"Hmm," Olivia replied, "I thought maybe Sarah would just offer her that room. Cheaper."

"You're assuming Hillary would want it," Ed pointed out with a smirk. "It's probably exhausting living with Sarah. She's been dragging that poor girl everywhere. Hillary probably needs a break."

Olivia laughed as she cut up Noah's meat and vegetables. She put the bowl down on his Thomas placemat and took her seat across from Ed and Wyatt and next to Maggie. Noah was at the head of the table, situated there because it was easier for either one of his parents to help him if need be.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweet boy?"

"I take pic-ture now?"

"What, sweetie?" She asked, having already mentally shoved aside the project, "A picture?"

"Uh-huh," Noah replied matter-of-factly, "I happy."

….

Everybody, Sonny included, gathered at Caroline's for Sunday dinner. The family matriarch darted around her house at a dizzying pace as she tried to dote on each individual guest. She paid extra attention to the newcomer, Sonny who, like Olivia, had been instructed to sit down, relax, and have a drink. In the kitchen she set up the stepstool so Noah could "help" her cook and she went about preparing the meal with either Wyatt or Maggie in one arm. Sarah and Brooke complied when Caroline barked out orders to baste the roast or start the water for the potatoes. Ed was reprimanded for not bringing his family around enough and then instructed to set the table.

Caroline took a bag of rolls from the freezer, tore it open with her teeth, and set it and a cookie sheet in front of Noah.

"Okay sweetie, there are nine of us, so you count eighteen rolls and put them on this sheet."

"Grandma," Brooke interjected, "the twins aren't eating rolls."

"They can't gum them?"

"I don't think so," Sarah said, "And certainly not _two_ of them."

Noah waited patiently for clarification.

"Noah, count fourteen. Can you count that high?"

"I count one HUNDRED," Noah said proudly.

"By tens," Sarah said. "But he can count to twenty by ones. Noey boey, show Grandma."

Noah easily rattled off numbers one through twenty and then skipped to thirty, forty, and up to one hundred by tens. "I skip some," he admitted cheerfully."

"Why didn't you make bread?" Sarah asked.

"I did," Caroline replied, "It's already on the table. Noah's helping. It's either count rolls or peel potatoes."

"Olivia?" Caroline called out into the living room.

"Yes?"

"Trade me babies."

Olivia took Maggie from Caroline and returned with Wyatt.

" _Oof_ ," Caroline said, "This one's still a butterball. Do you feed him steak and potatoes, Noah?"

"No, Gamma Care-line, Wyatt and Maggie get _bottles_ that have milk from _Mommy_."

" _Ohhhhh_. You sure do know how to take care of them."

"Uh-huh. I give dem bottles and play with 'em and make 'em laugh. I'm the big bruvver. But I haveta go to school."

"Who takes care of them when you're at school?  
"Mommy and Daddy and day care."

"Do you change their diapers?"

Noah giggled and scrunched up his face. "No!"

With the plates, silverware, and glasses properly aligned on the table, Ed wandered into the living room where Olivia was walking around the room, examining family photos with Maggie in her arms. She'd been to Caroline's home many times now, but she never grew tired of looking at the photographs—weddings, family gatherings, school pictures from decades ago—it was like being in a museum.

"Maggie looks exactly like your family," she said softly. "Exactly."

Ed put his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "She looks like both of us."

"She _absolutely_ looks like the Tuckers," Olivia said, chuckling at her husband, "Narrow face, those cheekbones, the jaw, the blue eyes."

Ed ran his hand over Maggie's head, "Whatcha think, precious?"

Maggie cooed at him and smacked her lips.

"Can you say Dada?" Ed ran his finger down her nose.

"YAH!" Maggie yelped and threw her arms in the air excitedly.

"She's trying," Olivia murmured. "C'mon, sweet girl. Talk to us."

"Da-da," Ed repeated more slowly.

Maggie replied with a series of sweet-sounding _ahhhhhs_.

"She hears that sound," Olivia said.

"Sure does." Ed kissed Maggie's forehead, "Smart girl."

"Want to take her?"

"Yeah. C'mere, princess." Ed held her above his head and raised her up and down, giving her Eskimo kisses at each low point. Maggie's gurgly giggles reverberated into the kitchen. Caroline passed Wyatt to Sarah and came running.

She grabbed Olivia's forearm. "Will you listen to that!"

"So precious. Never get tired of that."

….

After dinner, Ed and Olivia volunteered to clean up, so Caroline and the "kids" sat around the table mostly talking about Brooke and Sonny's wedding. They set a late January date and would be married at the Carisi family parish on Staten Island. Sarah put herself in charge of the reception and had already reserved space at 620 Loft and Garden where Ed and Olivia exchanged wedding vows. The next order of business was the shower which, much to Sarah's displeasure, was being organized by the Carisi sisters.

"We'll see what they come up with," Sarah snorted and then immediately apologized, "I'm sorry, Sonny. It's just…I _love_ to plan those things!"

"They gotta do something," Sonny replied with a shrug. "I'm sure they'd appreciate your input."

Sarah put up a hand. "I'll stay out of it. I have a tendency to take up all the space in the room or so I've been told," she glared playfully at Brooke and then at her grandmother.

"Sare bear," Caroline said seriously, "You're just so…gigantic. You always have been. I was that way when I was young. You get it from me. It is…if you look at it the right way…your _gift_."

In the kitchen, Ed and Olivia heard the laughter.

"Wonder who they're making fun of now," Ed remarked.

"Awww, sweetie, I don't think it's you," Olivia teased. "Could be me."

"Nah. Prolly Sarah."

Olivia dried the roasting pan. "Where does this go?"

"Downstairs, actually. Wanna…want me to show you?"

Olivia cocked an eyebrow. "Well…sure. I guess that's something I should know."

They made their way down the creaky wooden steps into the basement. It was pitch black until Ed tugged on a cord only someone very familiar with the space would know was there and a bare light bulb cast a yellowish light throughout the cavernous space. On the left was the washer and dryer and an ironing board. On the right was a wall completely full of shelving.

"Wow," Olivia murmured, "Caroline is _prepared_."

Most of the shelves were full of canned goods. The space not taken up by unperishable food was reserved for small appliances and Ed slid the roasting pan into the only empty space.

"She sure is," Ed stood with his hands on his hips, "Hurricanes, tornadoes, blackouts, bomb threats…this is the place to be." He spun around and took Olivia into his arms in one motion, "But that's not why I brought you down here."

His kiss was urgent and intense. Olivia gasped into his mouth as he pressed her against the cinder block wall and practically shoved his tongue down her throat.

"I'm so proud to be your husband," he rasped during a brief pause before continuing to devour the lower half of her face.

" _Ed_."

"I want you so much." He rocked his hips into hers and the familiar flood of arousal raged through her lower extremities.

" _Ed_. We can't do this _here_. Someone's going to look for us. _Soon_."

"But…I _want_ you," he whined, lips on her neck now, biting her gently but with enough force that Olivia predicted she would have to strategically place her hair and her shirt for the rest of the evening. "I want to make love to my wife." Ed felt her shiver. " _See_?"

Taking his head in her hands, Olivia gently pushed him away from her body and grinned. "We're acting like teenagers."

"No way. Teenagers don't do it this good."

Olivia's cheeks immediately reddened.

"Why, Mrs. Tucker," Ed teased, "I believe you're blushing."

"We need to go back upstairs."

"Kiss me again."

Olivia pecked at his face.

Ed frowned, "You gotta do better than that." His mouth fell into a pout and, in his most innocent voice, he said, "Please?"

Olivia pretended to be annoyed. "Fine."

She went after him with the same ferocity with which he'd initiated this amorous interlude and he chuckled while kissing back. "That's more like it," he said, wiping his lips as they parted. She led the way back upstairs and he followed with his fingertips in the back pockets of her jeans.

….

Shortly after making out with her husband in Caroline's basement, a call from Fin marked the end of Olivia's and Sonny's time with the family. A pimp well-known to the Vice squad had been murdered execution-style in what appeared to be one of his brothels and every girl in the house was now at the 16th Precinct waiting to be interviewed. Olivia got a sinking feeling in her stomach and not just because she didn't want to leave her family; she wondered if this pimp was in any way connected to Declan Murphy's undercover operation, and, if so, what that meant for him, Rollins, and Jesse. Carisi drove them back to Manhattan in the Crown Vic, leaving everyone else to squeeze in among the car seats in the Tuckers' SUV.

As soon as they stepped from the elevator, Olivia and Sonny gawked at the squad room. They'd both worked witness-heavy cases before, but at least thirty scantily-dressed women filled the squad room. They occupied every available chair and the holding cells had been opened for additional seating. Uniformed officers were on hand for crowd control and Fin and Savage were in the Lieutenant's office getting briefed by the responding precinct's captain.

"Well, we're in for the night," Carisi muttered.

"Hope you didn't have plans for a nightcap."

"Nope. Couch and reruns. You?"

Still worked up from the basement, Olivia swallowed and did her best to employ her indifferent, jaded-cop voice. "Probably something similar."

…

Sarah and Brooke declined a ride home and convinced their Dad to let them help with getting the kids upstairs and ready for bed. Ed insisted he did this all the time on his own, but both older daughters refused to let him fly solo on this particular night.

"Do they need baths?" Sarah asked.

"Noah does. The twins had theirs this morning. I'll take care of him." Ed gave Noah the special treat of a bubble bath in the jetted tub and left Sarah and Brooke to change Wyatt and Maggie into their pajamas.

Sarah rifled through their drawers. To her disappointment, they didn't have many pairs of matching sleepwear which she vowed to rectify over the weekend. She finally settled on a plain fuzzy pink set for Maggie and a green fleece sleeper for Wyatt.

"Okay, twinsies! Let's get changed!"

By the time Sarah chose the clothing and she and Brooke wrangled the twins into fresh diapers and their sleepwear, Noah and Ed were already in the living room deciding on which books to read before bed.

"What took you so long?" Ed asked, a teasing glint in his eye.

"Sarah took an hour to pick the perfect jammies," Brooke said.

"And also…Maggie squirms all around when you're trying to change her!" Sarah bear-hugged Maggie and kissed all over her head. "Small sister…you are squirmy! Isn't she, Noey?"

"Silly squirmy small sister!" Noah exclaimed through giggles.

"Good alliteration," Brooke praised.

"Literation?"

"Yup," it means you use the same sound over and over. "Small squirmy silly sister uses the _S-sound_ over and over."

"Literation," Noah repeated, making a mental note of the word.

"She does move all over the place," Ed commented, "I usually get Wyatt all set up first and then tackle Maggs."

Brooke spun Wyatt around in the space between the couch and the dining table where the twins' swings, walkers, and play mats were situated. Wyatt let his head fall back against Brooke's hand and stared at the ceiling with a fist in his mouth as they moved around.

"Brookey! Spin me next!" Noah requested.

"One spin," Ed interjected, "And then we have bedtime. School tomorrow."

Sarah held Maggie at arm's length. "Uh-oh, small sister, we're gonna get in trouble with Daddy!" Maggie blew spit bubbles and Sarah cracked up. "That's right! Tell Daddy to lighten up!"

Brooke spun Noah once around the room but abruptly came to a halt and put him down. " _Whew_! Sorry, No, that's it, Brookey's dizzy. And she also ate too much." Brooke collapsed onto the couch.

Noah didn't seem too disappointed. He shrugged, gave his older sisters a hug and a kiss, collected his books, and scampered off to his room.

"Where do you want these babies?" Sarah asked Ed from the couch where she was cuddling the twins.

Ed took a twin under each arm, kissed each girl on the cheek, and said goodnight. He found Noah already under his covers, but almost flush with the wall so Ed could sit down next to him and read the books he'd picked out.

"Four books tonight, bud?"

"Yep! One, two, three, FOUR!"

"Good deal." Ed stretched out, his ankles hanging off the end of the bed, and temporarily laid Maggie and Wyatt on their tummies on his chest while he got situated against the headboard.

Noah laughed. "Daddy, we got a pile 'a babies on this bed!" He remarked gleefully.

"Sure do, bud. And Daddy. And Noah. A pile of Tuckers!"

Noah snuggled into Ed's side. "Yup! Big pile 'a Tuckers!"

…

 **#Tuckson**


	35. Chapter 35

**Thirty-five.**

A vicious influenza outbreak inflicted its wrath on New York City late that fall causing many schools, including Noah's, to close for two days in order for staff to meticulously disinfect their facilities. This unexpected break put Ed and Olivia in a bind, but Sarah and Brooke stepped in and offered to spend the two mornings with Noah. Ed was sure he could sneak away from his current project in the afternoons.

Friday morning, a very grateful Olivia dropped Noah off at Sarah's apartment. She was still in her pajamas and was planning to go to the office after Noah was picked up. In the meantime, she planned to work from home and Noah, who was feeling fine, could pig out on junk food and watch all the television he wanted.

The two of them had been camped out on the couch for only an hour before Sarah got a call summoning her to the office.

"Well, Noey," she said brightly, "You get to be a junior accountant today! We haveta go to work."

"I workin with you, Sare bear?"

"Yep! Let's see," She inspected his clothing—he wore his typical khakis and a long-sleeved polo. "We'll go business cazh today. Be right back."

Within minutes Sarah reappeared dressed in slacks and a simple white button-down blouse. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun. "Let's go save the world, kiddo," she said.

Wide-eyed, Noah looked up at her, "We savin the world?"

"Well, maybe not the world. But we're saving Hillary's account."

…..

Fin and Rollins exited one interrogation room and regrouped with everyone else in the Lieutenant's office. Olivia listened closely as they exchanged information and prioritized witnesses. Few of the girls brought in from the raid accepted places at women's shelters, but the handful who considered the offer were also cooperating with SVU.

"This looks like a turf war," Fin remarked. "Pure and simple."

"Yeah but who pulled the trigger?" Carisi asked. "Guy was dead before any of the girls got there."

"Not one girl was in the house?" Olivia asked.

"Not one," Rollins reported. "He was found in his basement office. _Nobody_ was allowed down there."

"And the ME?"

"Estimated he'd been dead a few hours."

Olivia quickly skimmed the Medical Examiner's report and then peered over her reading glasses as she asked her next question, "Cameras? A place like that surely had surveillance."

"TARU's on it now. Should have the footage within the hour," Carisi said.

"Okay," Olivia said with finality, "Make sure the detail stays on the girls at the shelter. Let me know when the video comes in." Everyone began filtering out but Olivia stopped Rollins. "Sergeant?"

Savage considerately closed the door behind him, leaving the commanding officer and her number two alone.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Is there anything you're not telling me? Or…can't tell me?"

Rollins needed no further explanation. "The last time I saw Declan…he didn't give me any intel."

"This could be one of his guys. If so, he's going to have to come out." Concern and uncertainty clouded Rollins' eyes. She and Olivia had never discussed the extent of her relationship with Declan. Olivia suspected it was a fling or maybe even a one-night stand, but the expression on Amanda's face indicated a hint of a deeper connection. Olivia leaned forward. "What's going on?" She asked kindly.

Rollins took a seat. "I kinda got the sense he knew this was near the end," she began somewhat ruefully, "and I also got the sense he wasn't sure what would come next. And…I don't know where we go from there."

" _We_?" Olivia asked with a glint in her eye, shocked she was prying into Rollins' personal business when she herself would have been annoyed by the inquiry.

"I don't know," she sighed as she rubbed her face with both hands, stretching and distorting her skin. "It's complicated."

The ensuing laughter from Olivia induced raised eyebrows from Rollins. Olivia quickly apologized. "It's just…I remember using that word a lot to describe me and Tucker. Well, mostly me. I _overused_ it, really."

Rollins understood. "But you and Tucker…you figured things out. You love each other. Declan and I…we have a child together but we've never…we…we're not _in love_." Amanda said _in love_ as if she thought the whole idea was ridiculous and unattainable, at least for her.

Pressing further into personal details, Olivia said, "You two haven't really had a chance to work through any of that."

"To say the least."

"A piece of advice?"

"Sure."

"Don't rule anything out."

Pressing her lips together, Rollins offered a little smile in place of a verbal thank-you and went out to the squad room to help the others unravel their latest investigation.

…

Members of Sarah's team were so busy with their spreadsheets and projections and Power Points that they hardly batted an eye at her forty-inch-tall sidekick who toted her Surface Tablet carefully with two hands. Sarah sat down and, with a businesslike expression on his little face, Noah handed her the device, nodded, and parked himself on the floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows where he looked out over Battery Park. In the distance was the Statue of Liberty. He shook off his backpack, pulled out his own tablet, and got to work drawing lower Manhattan.

For the most part, Noah blocked out the cacophony of voices—some high pitched, some low-pitched, some barking orders to assistants, others speaking into their phones in English and in Spanish. One of the mergers orchestrated in Argentina was on the verge of falling apart and Hillary, who proposed the deal in the first place, alternated between being near tears and pressing forward with steely determination.

"Noey!"

His gelled brown hair did not move as he snapped to attention. Quickly, he clambered to his feet and arrived at Sarah's side, ready for orders.

"Go to my office and get the red folder on my desk. Hillary needs it. Remember where my office is?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah ran out of the conference room and returned with the folder.

"Good boy. Now, go over there and give it to—" Sarah paused and said something into her phone in Spanish before turning back to Noah. "—give it to Hillary and give her a hug. She's stressing."

"You talking 'panish!" Noah exclaimed in a throaty whisper.

"Yes I am," Sarah replied, "Now, go give it to Hill."

In a businesslike manner, Noah delivered the folder and hugged Hillary's legs. She was hunched over her computer but regarded him with a smile and patted his head. "Thank you, Noah." She managed to shoot a quick, appreciative smile across the table at Sarah and then went back to work.

"Sarah?"

A comely young woman, Sarah's secretary, entered the conference room and somehow her soft voice registered with her boss despite the surrounding commotion.

"Hmm?"

"Your sister's here."

Sarah frowned, "She is?"

"Yes."

"Noah?"

"I right here!"

Sarah grinned at him and then directed the secretary to take Noah and his things and have Brooke wait in her office. "My assistant will have to entertain Ms. Tucker for the time being," she said, "He knows the account well, so he should have no problem. Please get them some refreshments while they wait."

"Absolutely," the secretary replied, all business, not at all discounting the directions even though they involved a preschooler.

"I'll be in there ASAP," Sarah said, "Noey, great job in here. Now…make sure Brookey doesn't mess up anything in my office."

"Kay, Sare bear!"

Noah led the way back to the office, and Sarah let loose a string of exasperated _fucks_ as she tried to figure out where exactly this deal had gone off the rails.

….

From a small table in the back of the diner, Ed Tucker watched his wife enter and scan the booths for his familiar face. When she saw him, she broke into a huge grin. It was the smile of someone who had been apart from a loved one for years, and it warmed Ed's heart. He stood and greeted her with a kiss.

"Hi."

"Hey," Olivia said, slightly out of breath. Ed took her coat and she sat down. "Sarah's okay with Noah?"

"I sent her a text and she said they were fine. At her office, but fine."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Her office? Shouldn't one of us go get him?"

"She didn't seem too concerned. She probably has him sitting at her desk calling Paraguay."

Squinting at him, Olivia asked, "Paraguay?"

""Or…wherever." Ed eyed the shopping bag Olivia toted with her. "Whatcha got?"

"Rice cereal."

Ed saw her eyes droop with a hint of sadness and he offered a reassuring smile, "It's okay, Liv."

She fidgeted and fought back the burn of tears. At the twins' recent check-up the pediatrician gave the go ahead to start them on solids, rice cereal being the inaugural food. Despite their early birth, they were hitting all their developmental milestones and the doctor was impressed with both twins' weight gain, vision and hearing tests, and overall levels of alertness. However, on the cusp of their half-birthday, melancholy was setting in for Olivia.

"I know," she sighed. "I…they're so precious right now. I love this age. And I love seeing them get more personality and sit up and make all these new sounds—"

"And smile."

"And smile."

They were briefly interrupted by a waiter, ordered lunch, and resumed the conversation.

"We can always have a couple more when these two get too big," Ed joked and chuckled when he saw his wife roll her eyes and smile at him. "But, seriously, Liv, we have everything we want, right?"

"We do," she replied in a hushed voice. "It's…perfect. And you've changed your entire life…for our life and our kids and me, so I can do everything I love and want to do."

She was getting emotional and Ed wanted to stop it; as much as he relished Olivia's compliments and her gushing words about how much she appreciated and loved him, sometimes she didn't give herself enough credit and he felt like her outpourings of praise were rooted in guilt rather than happiness. He thought they inevitably took her into the darkest depths of her soul and there was no reason for her to go there. Not now. Not ever again.

In true diner style, their meals were delivered promptly.

"Anything else?" The bored-looking young man asked.

"No, we're good," Ed answered gruffly and eyed the check that had been slapped on the table. He moved it from a semi-circle of condensation and studied his wife. The worried brown eyes almost enhanced how gorgeous she was in that moment. Maybe it was the vulnerability she allowed only him to see that made him want to abandon their sandwiches and take her home.

"What kinda cereal did you get again?"

The abrupt change of subject startled Olivia and she blinked as if a burst of air had just been shot in her direction. But she caught on. She knew what Ed was doing. "Rice."

"Plain?"

"There aren't any _flavors_ …just rice."

"Sounds disgusting." He took a big bite of his Reuben, chewed, and said the next words with his mouth partially full, "You can't put some bananas or something in there?"

"I suppose we could, but I don't want them to get sick. The doctor said just the cereal to start and to make it runny."

"I think we should maybe do some banana. Particularly for Maggie." Olivia was genuinely smiling now and it relaxed Ed. "She's, well, she's gonna be the person who knows what she wants and doesn't stop until she gets it. I can tell already. Like a…an endearing kind of fussy."

"She only needs to make sure all her requests go through Daddy, and she'll have no problem."

Enjoying the sass, Ed shrugged. "I want everyone to have what they want."

"And we love you for it."

After breathing a sigh of relief, Ed took another bite. Olivia's comment did not come from her dark place. It was sassy and smart-alecky and delivered with a twinkle in her eye and the tiniest hint of a cocked eyebrow. Surely, they would make love tonight. He thought about holding her naked body against his and started to get light-headed and aroused.

 _Back to the day's business, Tucker._

"So after we're done here I'll go get Noah. Think it's okay to take him to the park for a while?"

"I'm sure it is. They only closed school to clean."

"People at day care today spent ten full minutes explaining how well they scrub the place down each night. And assuring me no sick kids enter the play area."

"Oh, you poor thing," Olivia patronized him, "You had to talk to the teachers for a _full ten minutes_?"

"I appreciate your sympathy." Ed gazed at her letting his eyelids droop like he did when he wanted to look cute and maybe a little bit pathetic.

"Always."

They momentarily stopped eating and grinned at each other. That word held enormous weight, so much meaning in their relationship that any time they or anyone else uttered it, Ed and Olivia instinctively shared a quick, flirtatious glance. At the diner, though, they were alone and their eyes locked for longer as the affection circulated on a loop between them.

Olivia finally broke the silence. "So…will you and Noah pick up some bananas at the market?"

"Absolutely."

…..

When Sarah came back to her office, Noah was seated in her chair with his shoeless feet propped on the desk and Brooke was standing next to him, staring down onto the street below where tourists took turns taking pictures with the statue of George Washington.

"Mr. Tucker, I'm _so_ sorry to interrupt," Sarah said, "I see you are in with an important client who is enjoying our views, however, sir, it is time to get out of here and have a drink."

"At da pub?"

"Well, not your pub, but, yes, at the pub." Brooke had not acknowledged Sarah's presence and the younger sister sidled up to the older one. "Is your school closed today, too?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?" Sarah cringed at the question, "Sorry…you know what I mean."

Unannounced drop-ins from Brooke were rarities. She simply did not have the type of job that allowed her to sneak away and pop in on her sister during the day. So, not only was the visit odd, Brooke didn't look quite right. Her short hair was pulled back into a tiny ponytail that looked ready to escape the hair tie at any second. She wore typical weekend wear-jeans and a sweater, but the clothes she chose were old and well-worn. Sarah suspected they dated back to her college years. While Brooke did not meticulously plan her outfits like Sarah did, she did not usually leave the house looking this disheveled unless it was for a quick errand.

Out of the corner of her eye, Brooke got a glimpse of Noah who was looking on with interest. The two of them hadn't had much verbal interaction while Sarah was gone. Brooke was about to speak when Hillary came in and plopped on the small sofa in a huff. She covered her face with her hands and stayed still until she felt someone approach. It was Noah.

"You okay, Hill?"

His usage of _Hill_ almost made her cry.

"She's fine, Noey," Sarah answered, "We just…we're all hungry and tired and we need to get out of here so we can breathe, so, let's get your shoesies on. Why's you take them off? Did you think this was Bert Cooper's office?"

Hillary started laughing and confusion crossed Noah's face. Sarah kissed his cheeks and tapped his nose. "Never mind. "

"Bert Cooper?" Brooke asked.

"Oh, she speaks! Yes. Bert Cooper from _Mad Men_."

"Oh. I never got into that show."

"I know and I always thought that was one of your major character flaws." Sarah was obviously throwing out barbs in jest, but Brooke hadn't shown any emotion whatsoever. Sarah ignored her and helped Noah with his leather boots which was more of a chore than one would have predicted. After seeing her struggle with the left boot, Hillary took Noah's right foot.

"These must be new, Noey."

"Uh-huh. Me an' Daddy have the same."

"Oh really?"

"Yep!"

"Well you must need an extra hour in the morning before school to get them on."

"Nope! Daddy know how to put 'em on."

Finally, the boots were on, tied, and they were ready to go. Hillary went to her office to get her coat. Sarah, wanting a few minutes alone with Brooke, suggested she take Noah. "Um, we'll meet you two downstairs, okay?"

Taking the hint, Hillary agreed. "C'mon, Noah! You can check out my office and see if it's better than Sarah's!"

Sarah leaned against the closed door. "What's up?"

"What happened with Hillary?"

Sarah made a smacking noise and scrunched up her face, "One of the companies in this last deal hid some losses that she didn't know about and she didn't see it when she was vetting them. It wasn't her fault. It was intentional on their part. But…we had to kinda make it look not so bad because the other firms were on the verge of backing out and we were gonna either have to start over or lose a shitload of money."

"Oh," Brooke murmured, not really following or understanding what Sarah was talking about. Her question was posed purely out of courtesy.

"But that's not why you're here."

"No. It is not."

"You're gonna make me pry it out of you?"

Brooke perched herself on the edge of Sarah's desk. It was only now that Sarah noticed she wore no makeup and her face was ashen except for abnormally pink cheeks which Brooke had rubbed nearly raw.

She took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

…

Noah had not yet been returned to his parents when Ed stirred the milk, cereal, and mashed bananas into a consistency similar to that of a melting milkshake. He lifted a spoonful and let it drop back into Wyatt's blue bowl.

"Too soupy?" He asked Olivia who had already strapped Maggie into her high chair and was now maneuvering Wyatt into his seat.

"C'mon, big guy," she said, "Get those legs in there."

Once he was settled she turned around and Ed repeated his demonstration.

"I don't think so," she said. "Probably better for it to be like that than too thick. Okay. Let's do this. Call your baby."

"Which one's gonna be the messiest?"

"Probably Wyatt."

"I'll take Maggie."

Ed watched Olivia give Wyatt his first spoonful. She put a little on his bottom lip and he immediately shoved his fist in his mouth, grinned, and then waved his arms around, spreading the first bite of cereal mostly in his hair.

Settling on his stool in front of Maggie, Ed muttered, "Okay, this'll be fun."

He did the same thing—put a small bite on Maggie's lip—and she stuck her tongue out, frowning, until she got a taste of the new food and let out a gleeful yelp.

"Another bite, Maggs?" Ed put this spoonful in her mouth. Maggie worked her tongue around and most of the cereal ran down her chin. Ed scraped it with the spoon.

Wyatt reacted to his next bite the same way.

Ed and Olivia continued shoveling fresh helpings into the twins' mouths and they slowly adjusted to the different texture and consistency. Maggie concentrated on every little movement Ed made and tried to grab for the spoon and the bowl, but when the cereal was in her mouth, she quickly got the hang of tasting and swallowing it. Wyatt sat back and waited for Olivia to feed him, but he insisted on involving his hands so, by the time his bowl was near-empty, rice cereal was everywhere, including his eyelashes.

Ed and Olivia heard the door open right after they decided to transfer the twins directly to the bathtub. They heard Sarah instruct Noah to take off his shoes—it had been raining and she didn't want him tracking in wet footprints even though she understood he wanted to wear his "new fancy boots." Seconds later, Noah ran in and froze at the scene in front of him.

"Babies messy!" His eyes drifted to their high chair trays, the footrests, his parents, and the floor. "Everything messy!"

"Yes, sweet Noah. Maggie and Wyatt tried different food today."

Noah inspected the bowls. "What that?" He sniffed.

"Rice cereal and bananas."

"Yuck."

"Well, next time we're gonna need your help. You're good at givin' em the bottles," Ed would have given Noah a hug, but traces of the meal were on his hands and arms. "So you'll prolly be good at givin' em cereal, too."

Noah squinted and twisted his lips in response. He wasn't so sure. This looked significantly more challenging than holding a bottle.

Sarah was snapping photographs. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll send all of these to you. Livvie, you have some in your hair. Better put it up next time."

Olivia wiped Wyatt's face and hands with a damp dish towel. "We'll get better, won't we sweet twins?" She cooed. Wyatt slapped the tray and babbled. Maggie shrieked and blew bubbles at Ed as he dabbed at her face with another towel.

"We ate downtown," Sarah reported. "Noah had steak and scalloped potatoes. So…he shouldn't need dinner, but here're his leftovers." She put a white paper bag on the island. Ed was looking at her incredulously. "What?"

"Steak and scalloped potatoes?"

"Yes. They didn't have a children's menu and the boy needs a steak every once in a while. He liked it, didn't ya, Noey?"

"Yep! I eat steak! Jus' a little pink! Sare bear haveta cut it with da big knife, though!"

"He tried the asparagus, but he didn't like it, so that's in there, too."

Olivia smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, sweetheart. I would hug you, but…" She held out her shirt.

"We shall save hugs for another time," Sarah replied, "Now I must depart."

"Hope he didn't get in your way at the office. You could've called me. I would've come to get him."

Sarah waved a dismissive hand in the air, "Are you kidding? Noey's the best assistant ever. He helped and we had a blast…and then we had cocktails and steak like all successful corporate people have when they avert a crisis." Sarah re-wrapped her scarf around her neck and turned to leave. "See ya later, family."

Noah was still staring at the twins and his parents in disbelief. Olivia handed Wyatt to Ed and he headed for the bathroom with the twins.

"Alright, sweet boy. Mommy's going to change clothes and help Daddy with Maggie and Wyatt in the bathtub. What do you want to do?"

"Pac-tis math."

This was new. "Practice math?"

"Uh-huh! Sare bear say I haveta be good at math ta be her 'sistant."

Olivia grabbed her iPad. "I think we have math games somewhere on here." She swiped a few times. "Yep. Here it is, my love."

Noah took the tablet and skipped over to his beanbag. Olivia brought him a drink and kissed his forehead. "You had a good day, didn't you, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh!" He exclaimed but concentrating on his math game, "We verrrrry busy!"

"I bet."

"Brookey cry though."

"What?" Olivia asked, eyes wide with sudden alarm.

"But Sare bear say it okay. Then Brookey laugh."

To no avail, Olivia tried to extract more details from her almost-five-year-old. After a few minutes, she gave up and joined Ed in the bathroom.

She knelt down and lathered baby wash all over Maggie's body. "Hear from Brooke at all today?"

"Nope." Ed was playing his routine wash cloth peek-a-boo game with Wyatt. "There's my guy!" He proclaimed in a husky voice. Wyatt blinked and smiled; all-out belly laughter was not far behind. "Why do you ask?"

"Noah just told me Brooke was crying and then Sarah said something was okay and then she started laughing."

Ed lightly ran the washcloth over Wyatt's face once again. Unfazed, he replied, "Sounds like a typical outing with Sarah."

" _Ed_."

"Liv, she's almost thirty-years-old. If there's something wrong and she wants or needs us, she'll say something. Probably something to do with the wedding."

"Yeah," Olivia murmured. She didn't necessarily want to abandon the subject, but there wasn't much else to say. Ed was right. She wrung out Maggie's yellow wash cloth and started her own game of peekaboo with her squirmy daughter.

….

 **#Tuckson**


	36. Chapter 36

**Thirty-six.**

One of the things Ed appreciated about his wife was her dedication to ensuring family photographs were placed and hung throughout their home. Some of them, like their wedding photo with Noah, never changed, but others she updated and Ed noticed the collage frame hanging on one of the kitchen pillars now displayed pictures taken only days ago and he smiled to himself, wondering when exactly she made the swap. Other than that they were of his family, there was nothing particularly special about the photos. They'd been taken on the couch and featured Noah making a silly face solo, Noah with both twins, and the twins facing each other mid-laugh.

He finished wiping down the dark granite countertops and made sure the early morning bottles were filled and ready for the warmer. He almost started to make Noah's lunch, but he stopped himself, realizing the next day was Saturday and a warmth overwhelmed him as he anticipated a lazy weekend with his family.

In their room, Olivia had finished nursing the twins and they were on the bed next to her propped on pillows and playing with plastic toys. Ed flopped down on his belly from the end of the bed, grabbed at the babies' feet, and leaned his head against Olivia's thigh.

"Noah's school emailed," Olivia reported, "The fall festival is still going on Sunday. We agreed," she scrolled down and peered at the screen through her oversized reading glasses. "We agreed to bring… _two bales of hay_?"

"Oh," Ed replied absent-mindedly, "I forgot I signed us up for that. I'll get it in the mornin' maybe I'll take the kids and we'll swing by Ma's on the way."

"Am I invited?"

Ed lifted his chin so it was resting on top of Olivia's leg above her knee. "You, my dear, are _always_ invited."

"Oh, good." Olivia clicked a few times in rapid succession, deleting en masse.

"Arrrrrgh," Ed growled, biting Wyatt's foot and yanking off his sock with his teeth. "Daddy's gotchur toes, Wyatt!" Maggie kicked, and Ed nipped at her, inducing squeals and gleeful baby giggles.

Ed inched closer to the babies so his head was now between the two of them, and their little fingers curled around his nose and his ears. Olivia leaned down and kissed him on the head.

"We love you, Daddy," she whispered in a tone Ed wouldn't have exactly characterized as motherly.

"Hmmmph," he groaned humbly, knowing he had to keep his wife at bay for a little while longer. He resumed his initial placement against her body and gazed at Maggie and Wyatt while Olivia lightly grazed his cheek with one hand and navigated the laptop with the other. "How's that cereal treatin' ya, twins?" He poked Wyatt's tummy.

"They seemed to nurse just as much," Olivia remarked. "I bet they'll sleep a little longer."

"Five a.m. instead of four?" Ed asked sweetly, directing the question at the babies who continued gumming their plastic rattles.

"I really need to get them snowsuits this weekend. Weather will be warm during the early part of the week, but snow later."

" _We_ really need to get them snowsuits."

"Right. _We_." Olivia thought of something and her body shook with laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

" _Olivia_ ," he playfully warned and tilted his head back even further to get a glimpse of her face.

Wyatt and Maggie traded high-pitched yelps.

"See? Even the little ones want to know what you're laughing at."

"Okay," Olivia put the laptop on the nightstand and turned on her side, partially spooning her husband. He shivered slightly as her hair tickled his neck, "I was thinking that you and Noah have the same boots so I was wondering if you're going to get a snowsuit."

"Well, I'll hold off on that at the moment. But you never know."

"You would look adorable in a snow suit."

"I used to have one. I snowmobiled a few times. Years ago."

"We should do that sometime."

"You'd want to?"

"Sure. Why not? A weekend upstate maybe? No kids? Bribe Brooke and Sonny? Or Sarah?"

"Sarah can't take care of all three of 'em."

"I bet she could," Olivia argued, "She's good with them. With Noah especially. He loves her so much."

"Let's mention it to 'em. You know…it's been over a year since we used that lake house…that was," Ed leaned over and blew strawberries on the babies' cheeks. "Where we decided we were gonna have you two." He then let himself fall back into Olivia's arms and she kissed his lips upside down. Settling into her, he dragged the twins onto his chest. "C'mere, you two." He nuzzled their heads and they buried their faces into his chest. "Almost night-night time."

The four of them cuddled together in sweet silence. Wyatt yawned and rubbed at his eyes before finally falling asleep sucking on his hand. Maggie fussed until Olivia gave her the pacifier and she, too, dozed off with one hand on her brother.

"Imma put them in bed," Ed whispered, struggling to sit up. Olivia helped him and, in the process, rose to her knees and massaged his shoulders.

She kissed his neck and the back of his head. Then, she licked the outside of his ear and whispered, "Hurry back, Daddy."

….

Sarah had never once claimed to be very good in an emergency. Her idea of "support" was a drink, and that was out of the question. Well, at least for Brooke. After she dropped Noah off at home, she ducked into one of her Dad's favorite dive bars for two quick gin-and-tonics, paid, and dashed home to meet her sister all the while wondering why she allowed Hillary to get her hooked on those cocktails.

"Ugh," she muttered to herself, trying to get the juniper flavor out of her mouth by sucking on her teeth. She rummaged around in her purse for gum but found none. Finally, she ducked into the neighborhood liquor store, purchased a bottle of vodka and a dried-out looking lemon, and went home where Brooke was waiting for her.

"Okay, sister," Sarah said, thinking that was exactly the same way she addressed Maggie, "Spill it."

"What else is there to spill?"

"Well, first of all, I thought you were on the pill."

"I stopped."

"You _stopped_?" Sarah's eyes were saucers, "And may I ask _why_?"

"I…I just never refilled it. And I missed some days. And-"

" _Brooke_! That sounds oddly like something I would do!"

"But it hasn't been for that long. But…I've been feeling…not right. Not sick really, but sluggish and kind of feverish but not really a fever."

"You took a test?"

"This morning. After Sonny went to work."

"And?"

"Positive. That's why I came to your office."

Sarah took a long drink and swallowed with a wince. "Are we happy?"

The question was innocent and sincere. Sarah had been patient while they had drinks and dinner at the pub. Brooke fought back tears when she saw a couple push a baby stroller down the street and Sarah played it off as Brooke being upset about the twins getting older. Hillary, wrapped up in her near-disaster at work, paid little attention and Noah was initially suspicious but easily distracted.

"I think I'm in shock." Brooke stared down at her flat stomach, "I'm…there's a _life_ inside of me."

"You have to tell Sonny."

"I know. He's…he's on duty tonight."

"Want me to go home with you? You shouldn't be alone."

Brooke smiled with relief. "Please come."

"You got it." Sarah quickly through some clothes into an overnight back, tossed in the vodka, and muttered something about stopping for junk food on the way. "You're the pregnant one and all of a sudden I'm the one with cravings," she joked.

Before Sarah opened the door Brooke suddenly wrapped her arms around her, giving her a tight, unexpected embrace.

"Love you, too sis," Sarah choked out. "Now c'mon. Cab's on me."

….

The next morning Ed and Noah loaded the two bales of hay into the rear of the Ford Escape. Ed lifted Noah so he could sling the hatch closed and when he was back on the ground Noah slapped his hands together and gruffly proclaimed, "all set!" He was mimicking his Daddy, and Ed almost started to chuckle but a lump caught in his throat and he experienced a brief yet intense sting of mournfulness that Noah was quickly growing up, but he was growing up with a Daddy who he saw fit to emulate. Thinking about that, Ed's melancholy quickly turned to pride.

"Okay, bud," Ed strapped Noah into the car seat. "We're gonna stop by Grandma's and then drop the hay off at school."

"Kay. Gamma makin' dinner?"

"I'm sure she'll have somethin' for ya."

Caroline did not disappoint. Waiting for Ed and Noah were piles of lunch meat and sliced cheese, fresh bread, and potato chips. Ed put their sandwiches together and they ate at the table. Noah's eyes widened when Caroline put a tall, foamy glass in front of him. He sat up on his knees.

"Whassat?"

"A root beer float. It's root beer and vanilla ice cream. Taste it."

Noah took the glass with both hands and sucked the thick liquid through the straw, his cheeks slumping inward from the pressure. "Mmmm," he droned, pausing for a breath and going back for more.

"Careful bud, not too fast, you don't want to get a brain freeze."

Noah paid no attention to the warning.

"What are your baby brother and sister doing?" Caroline asked.

"Playin' with Mommy."

When Ed jumped out of bed earlier that morning intent on getting an early start on his errand, Olivia grumbled, covered her head with a pillow, and changed her mind about going along. Ed brought her coffee and the twins and he and Noah stopped for a doughnut before heading to a nursery near Caroline's house in Riverdale.

"Who's your favorite? Maggie or Wyatt?"

" _Ma_!" Ed scolded his mother and shook his head.

Noah looked at Caroline as if she should have known better than to ask that question. "Gamma Care-line! They both my favorite!"

"Oh _my_ ," Caroline replied, "I am so sorry. I always had favorites. Your Daddy was my favorite child."

"Daddy my favorite, too."

Caroline simpered at her son. "Eddie, you sure walked into something special."

Ed gazed affectionately at Noah. "I sure did."

….

The Fall Festival organizers assured the Tuckers there would be someone at the school to accept the hay donation, but on first glance Ed didn't think anyone was there. All exterior doors were locked and the windows revealed darkened halls and classrooms. Finally, he walked around to the side of the building where a few kids were playing in the small courtyard. Noah recognized one of the boys and Ed called over to them, asking if any of their parents were in the vicinity. Seconds later, a woman clad in a long sweater, leggings, and riding boots rushed over to the gate and let Ed and Noah in.

"Mind if he stays here for a second? I'll go grab the bales."

"Of course," she said with a huge smile. She was several inches shorter than Ed and gazed up at him with sparkling, eager eyes, "We'll be right here waiting for you. I'm Patricia. Patricia Flynn."

"Ed Tucker. And this is Noah." The woman still hadn't taken her eyes off him, making Ed uncomfortable. "I'll...uh...I'll be right back."

Holding the bales by the twine, Ed followed Patricia inside the school and down a narrow flight of stairs to the gym. He had to turn his body sideways and Noah helped navigate.

"Good job, Daddy! You strong!"

"Thanks, bud."

The gym had been transformed into a veritable farm-themed carnival. Other parent volunteers were constructing booths where they would distribute cider and caramel apples. There were several games—pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, a bean bag toss, and a child-sized basketball goal. Other areas were reserved for face painting and sand art.

"We're going to have pony rides and a train in the courtyard, too!" Patricia gushed, noticing Ed scanning the area, obviously impressed with their work. "It'll be a great family day and give us all a chance to get to know each other a little better."

"Is this just for the preschool kids?" Ed asked.

"For pre-K to fifth grade."

"Sounds like a lot of people." This was fine with Ed. More people meant he could easily blend in with the crowd and avoid forced small talk with strangers. There was one other Dad he knew fairly well because his son and Noah were friends and on the same soccer team; other than that, Ed planned to mostly stick by his wife's side. Also, with the twins there, he could gallantly volunteer to look after them while Olivia mingled.

"Well, don't worry," she patted his shoulder reassuringly, "We'll put aside a caramel apple for you!"

His phone pinged in his pocket and Ed made an elaborate show of extracting it with his left hand so his wedding ring was as conspicuous as possible. He read the message quickly. "No, it's Mommy. We haveta go." Ed smiled politely at Patricia, "Keep up the good work here."

"We sure will! See you tomorrow!"

"Let's go, bud," Ed grabbed Noah's hand. Patricia hadn't moved and she was still wearing the same goofy smile she'd had plastered on her face since she met Ed and Noah at the gate. Ed nodded politely and let Noah drag him toward the steps. He stifled a laugh, thinking about how Olivia would react when he told her about his new admirer.

….

When Ed and Noah returned home Sarah was at the apartment drinking a glass of wine and cheering for Maggie and Wyatt who were showing off—rolling over and sitting unassisted for a few minutes at a time. Wyatt giggled when he tumbled over, and Maggie was always eager to get on her tummy. Any day now she was poised to start scooting. Sarah declared that they were the most gorgeous and most talented infants ever to grace the planet.

"Daddy! Thank gawwwd you're home, I must kidnap Livvie for a little while."

"Why?"

"We need to pick out dresses for the wedding, and I also hear you're in the market for snow suits."

"We're buying those together."

Sarah frowned. "Oh, come on, let me and Livvie pick them out!"

"I don't trust you," Ed declared, trying to remain serious and fight the smirk forming on his face. "Maggie's will prolly have a tutu attached to it."

"She's a _girl_ ," Sarah protested, "She must have frilly things!"

Olivia showed her phone to Ed, "These are cute."

Ed looked at the puffy Patagonia suits approvingly, "Yeah, I like those. Have 'em here or we have to order them?"

"They have them at the SoHo store."

Ed kissed the side of Olivia's head. "Gonna get 'em today?"

"If we end up in SoHo," Olivia replied, looking into his eyes to make sure he wasn't upset over this trivial matter. In his effort to be a present Dad and be, in his own words, _fucking perfect_ , he often attached too much weight to matters Olivia saw as minor. "That okay?"

"Yeah." He offered her a genuine smile and kissed her on the lips.

"We won't be long," she assured him. "Did you have lunch?"

"Yep. Ma had sandwiches and Noah had his first root beer float."

Sarah tickled Noah, "Grandma made you a FLOAT?"

"Uh-huh! It YUMMMMMMY!"

Sarah flipped Noah upside down and flew him over the play mat. The twins squealed at their airborne brother and she landed Noah on the mat.

With the others momentarily occupied, Ed played with Olivia's loose curls and kissed her again, keeping her close.

"Get the hay delivered okay?"

"Yep. And…wait 'til you meet Patricia."

"Patricia Flynn?"

"Yeah," Ed replied with surprise. "You know her?"

"She's the one who sends the emails."

"Oh." Ed grinned, "Well, she may be sendin' 'em to me from now on."

Confused, Olivia scrunched up her face.

"I think she likes me," Ed clarified.

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Oh yeah?"

"In fact, I _know_ she likes me."

Olivia patted his back pockets. "Well, I better keep an eye on you tomorrow then," she teased. "Can't have anyone trying to steal my man."

She didn't often talk like this and Ed ate it up. "Never gonna happen. I only have eyes for you, Olivia Margaret."

"Daddy!" Sarah was on her feet now and was already in her coat, "Stop flirting and release Olivia! We have shopping to do!"

"Alright," Ed said, stepping away from his wife and joining the twins and Noah on the floor. "Have fun, ladies. The Tucker trio and I will hold down the fort."

Olivia put on her coat and took one last sweet glance at her family as Sarah dragged her out the door.

….

Sonny returned to the loft late Saturday afternoon and immediately landed on the couch, fully dressed in his suit, tie, and shoes. In the process of his collapse, he knocked to the floor the bedding Sarah used the night before, ruining Brooke's careful folding job. He'd been on duty for three straight days and was looking forward to his day off tomorrow. He smiled at his fiancée as she came down the stairs in her sweats.

"Hey there."

"Hi," she said softly and sat down over his legs. "Welcome home."

"I've never been happier to come home," he said, "This stretch was brutal."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Nah, just the usual." Sonny scratched at his head and mussed his perfectly combed hair, "How 'bout you?"

"I ended up staying home from work Friday."

He sat up a little. "Feelin sick?"

"Yes, but—"

"I can getcha whatever you want…soup? Need any meds?"

"It's…" Brooke played with the stitching on the cushion, "It's not that." She turned to him. Last night Sarah tossed out creative baby reveal suggestions and Brooke humored her knowing that she was too shell-shocked to do anything other than simply deliver the news. She took a deep breath and blurted out, "Sonny, I'm pregnant."

The words rendered him slack-jawed and speechless for a long agonizing minute, and then he scrambled to sit up at her side. "That's…that's, oh my God, Brooke, that's fantastic!" He gave her an encouraging smile, sensing she wasn't sure exactly how to feel.

"I can't believe it," she replied in a hushed voice, her lips curling upwards. Telling Sonny made her immediately more confident and comforted. Even with Sarah's company, she had felt alone and scared and almost forgot she had a partner.

"It's a good thing, Brooke," Sonny ran his hands up and down her arms and kissed her forehead. "I know it's not…not what we planned, but it's something we want, right?"

"Right."

"Hey," he ducked his head to meet her eyes, "I love you."

"I love you, too." She blinked back tears and fell into his embrace. "Son?"

"Yeah?" He asked, his lips moving against her head above her ear.

"I'm really glad you're home."

….

Much to Ed's future delight, Sarah and Olivia didn't make it to SoHo. After ducking in and out of a few midtown shops and finding nothing to her liking, Sarah suggested they stop for drinks. She hadn't had much alone time with her "Livvie" and she wanted to catch up on their girl talk and gossip a little. They chose a place slightly more upscale than their usual haunts and ordered specially crafted cocktails—a sweet concoction for Sarah and a whiskey-based, spicier blend for Olivia.

"Yours looks very Christmasy," Sarah remarked.

"Want to taste it?"

"Sure. Here, try mine."

After briefly swapping drinks, they gladly switched back to their originals.

"I can't wait for Christmas," Sarah sighed happily, "It's gonna be so great. Christmas with children is the best."

"It'll be special," Olivia agreed. "I wish I could bottle all these memories."

"It's already gone by so fast," Sarah moaned, "And Noey's getting so old and mature. Do you know he actually _told_ me at the restaurant that my food cost too much?"

"He did?" Olivia asked through a laugh.

"Yeah. We were talking about the menu and reading the numbers, and he said, 'Sare bear, yours is three-six and that's too much' omigod, omigod, omigod, I was dying." Sarah flopped her head against the lacquered mahogany bar and then flung herself back against her chair's padded leather backrest. "That little boy…Livvie…I love him so much. He's the best boy in the world."

Olivia scanned the bar area which was quite crowded for this time of day. The patrons were sharply dressed in suits and dresses, but there wasn't anyone who was as beautiful as her stepdaughter. Sarah was one of those people who would age at a snail's pace—there was no hint of a wrinkle or blemish on her face, and she always appeared put together, as if she'd just stepped out of a salon. Part of what made her so attractive was that her good looks were effortless. When she talked about people she loved, Noah in particular, her pale blue eyes sparkled with excitement and love and her pink cheeks blazed with bright pink enthusiasm.

"You know," Olivia replied softly, "Noah…he's blossomed since you and Brooke came into his life. You've made it so… _full_. He loves his sisters."

"And Maggie and Wyatt…I hope I get to be as close to them as I am with Noah."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Why wouldn't you be?"

"I dunno," Sarah said with a shrug, "There's just no… _feedback_ when they're babies."

"I get it."

"But, then again, I _looooooove_ making them laugh and smile."

"That's pretty strong feedback," Olivia said, her grin widening as she thought of her precious twins. "We have to think of a good idea for a Christmas card—think of how cute that'll be with everyone smiling."

"We could do something Kardashian-ish!"

Breaking into laughter, Olivia said, "Yeah, I'm sure your Dad will love that idea."

"He'll do anything you want."

"You're…certainly right about that."

"Is that ever…" Sarah paused, searching for the right words, "Is it ever scary knowing that?"

"I do worry about taking advantage of him. Sometimes…I still feel like he's not completely convinced I'm in this forever, like, he's still trying to win me over."

Olivia expected a classic Sarah swoon, but Sarah merely clutched her wrist. "That's the way it's supposed to be, Livvie."

"I know."

"You and Daddy are so relationship goals. Everyone knows it, too. The first time Hillary met you she was like _wow, those two are so in love_."

"How's she doing?"

"Good. Still freaked out about that deal almost falling through, but good. Getting all settled into her new place."

"What exactly happened there?"

Sarah succinctly explained how one of the companies in the merger hid old losses and made it clear it wasn't Hillary's fault. "Complete subterfuge on their part," Sarah scoffed, clearly still annoyed, "But, we fixed it."

"I'm no stranger to subterfuge," Olivia replied knowingly.

"I was so _pissed_. I mean, poor Hill, she'd thought everything went off without a hitch, well, we all did, then she's on the hot seat. _Ugh_. But…at least we learned our lesson. That won't happen again."

"Silver linings."

"That's for sure."

"What's the next project?"

"We're in kind of a lull right now and probably will stay that way through the end of the year. Nothing exciting…but that's high finance for ya…you go a thousand miles an hour for three weeks straight and then, _boom_ , nothing."

"I imagine Brooke's job is similar," Olivia speculated, "High stress for the school year and then…summer."

"Yeah, they deserve that break. I can't imagine." Sarah was desperate to tell Olivia about Brooke's news, but she'd been sworn to secrecy and she didn't want to leak the information and put Olivia in a tough spot yet again. So, she went for something innocuous. "I wonder if Brooke will keep working once…once they get married and have kids."

"Has she mentioned not working?"

"No…I'm just planning her future for her," Sarah said, giggling, "You know how I am _sooo_ good with working out other people's lives."

Joining in with the laughter, Olivia raised her glass and she and Sarah had a quick toast.

"It probably depends on whether or not they stay in the city," Olivia speculated. "And the cost of day care versus the cost of her working. And…if Carisi goes to the DA's office, he'll take a pay cut."

"Sonny will probably want to drag her to Staten Island."

"Poor Brooke," Olivia said with exaggerated sympathy.

"I _know_. I don't care how good the man is, I am _not_ moving to Staten Island."

"Yeah," Olivia joked, "Total deal breaker."

Hearing Olivia use _deal breaker_ made Sarah laugh even harder. "Oh, Livvie, you're so funny. I just love you." She put her head on Olivia's shoulder and cooed. "You're the best."

…

Olivia wasn't exactly sober when she arrived back at home. She'd let Sarah talk her into a second and third round which they drank quickly without eating anything. On the way home she did stop at the market and pick up a few things for dinner and she loudly dropped the bags on the island before searching for her family. She located them in Noah's room where the four of them were on the floor surrounded by a mess of train track, locomotives, books, rattles, stuffed animals, Noah's iPad, Ed's phone, and dozens of Hot Wheels cars.

"Hi Mommy!" Noah exclaimed. "We playin!"

"I see that," Olivia crouched down and kissed everyone.

Smelling the booze, Ed smirked, stood up, and told Noah they would be right back. He looked around for any small pieces the twins could potentially swallow, but the area was baby-proofed and he knew they'd be okay for a few minutes. He walked Olivia into their bedroom.

"You alright?"

She kicked off her shoes and tossed her sweater on the bed. "I'm fine. C'mere." She cupped Ed's neck and planted a firm, sloppy kiss on his lips.

"Lemme guess," he rasped, "You didn't buy dresses."

"Nor did we get the snowsuits. Sarah just wanted…she wanted to talk."

"Mmmmm."

"Are you mad?"

"Of course not. I knew an outing with Sarah had to, at some point, involve a stop at the bar."

Olivia kissed him again, just as passionately. "I'll get in the shower, get some tea, and I brought stuff for dinner."

"Why don'tcha save the shower for later? When…certain people are asleep?" Ed leered at her and leaned in to pepper her jaw with quick kisses.

"I guess I can do that."

"I'll start your tea."

"I'll get changed."

"Then we'll cook."

"Yeah." Olivia threw her head back. Ed's lips were now on her neck. " _Captain_ ," she gasped.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "You're so goddamn sexy…and…whadja have to drink? You taste so… _good_." Olivia couldn't answer right away because Ed moved to her mouth and swirled his tongue around hers. " _Mmmmm_. You gotta take me wherever you went sometime."

"I will."

They kissed some more until, finally, Olivia had to gently push him away. "One of two things have to happen here," she mumbled. "We have to lock the door or hit pause and resume later."

"Guess we better hit pause."

"We'll continue later." She patted his chest.

"I'm holdin' you to that, Lieutenant."

"I always keep my word, Captain." She replied with a wink. "Always."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	37. Chapter 37

**Thirty-seven.**

The Fall Festival was going in full force when the Tuckers arrived on Sunday afternoon. There were long lines of children waiting for face painting and both the pony and train rides out in the courtyard. Olivia easily convinced Noah to start his festival adventure at the basketball game, and his four made shots earned him eight tickets which could be redeemed for prizes later on. He proudly trotted over to where Ed was standing with the stroller and showed him the handful of tickets.

"Look! Got all these!"

"Wow, bud! That's great! Keep 'em safe."

Noah shoved them in the hip pocket of his jeans. "Gonna put 'em in here. Daddy, we gotta get more." He peeked in at Maggie and Wyatt. "Babies, wanna see me throw da beanbags?" Both Maggie and Wyatt were contentedly sucking on their pacifiers. Ed had peeled back their blankets and taken off their coats—they looked cozy in their baby jeans and cable knit sweaters, white for Maggie and navy for Wyatt. Earlier, Noah tried to find a sweater so he could match them, but Ed had to talk him into a three-quarter zip fleece pullover instead. The sweaters in his closet were all too small.

Noah was impatiently tugging at the stroller when a familiar voice pierced the combined noises of the space.

"There they are! Hello, Tuckers!" Patricia had spotted them and sauntered over, beaming and focusing mostly on Ed.

Olivia stifled a laugh and sized up her "competition." The woman was probably a few years younger than she was, but not by much. She wore too much makeup for this type of event and her perfume was too strong. Wearing her heeled boots, Olivia towered over her and stood by Ed's side, smiling sweetly, waiting to see how the woman reacted to her object of affection showing up at the festival with his wife and babies.

Ed greeted her politely, "Hi, uh, Patricia, right? This is my wife Olivia—"

"And dese babies are Maggie and Wyatt!" Noah announced with a flourish.

Ignoring Olivia, Patricia hovered over the stroller and spoke a few words of baby talk to the twins. "They're beautiful," she said to Ed, "Hey, would you mind doing us a favor? We need two more crates of apples brought in from the courtyard. Could you bring them in? I can put Noah in the front of the pony line as a thank you."

Seeking some sort of silent permission, Ed glanced at Olivia who had pressed her lips together in a polite smile. He could tell she was trying not to burst into incredulous laughter.

"We're gonna work on winning more tickets," Ed replied, "So no need to let us cut in line. No, come with me and we'll get the apples then do the bean bags."

"Kay Daddy!" Noah tickled each baby under the chin, "Be right back babies….then…we get more TICKETS!"

With Ed and Noah gone on the errand, Patricia finally acknowledged Olivia. "I don't remember seeing you at any other events," she said curiously. "But my son is a year ahead of Noah, so I suppose our paths wouldn't have crossed much."

"Probably not," Olivia replied, choosing not to respond to the veiled insult. "Do you have older kids here too?"

"Yes. One in fifth grade and the other in eighth. They're not here though. Spending the weekend with their Dad in Connecticut."

"Oh."

Ed and Noah reentered through the side door with the crates.

"Your husband certainly is a good man to have around," Patricia said, "The hay bales yesterday and the apples today. We may have to sign him up for the winter carnival."

"I'm sure he'd love to help out," Olivia said. Patricia's brazen infatuation with Ed, while annoying, was also comical.

"Is this marriage number two for you?" Patricia asked. "I'm currently in between two and three."

"Number one," Olivia replied. "The only one."

Patricia started to say something else, but Noah and Ed approached.

"I think you're good with the apples," Ed reported. "Okay, bud, let's go win s'more tickets." He grinned at his wife, "He saw the prizes and wants to win something for Maggie and for Wyatt."

"Gonna win 'em a Bernie bear!" Noah exclaimed.

"They have a bear almost exactly like Bernie," Ed explained, referring to Noah's favorite stuffed animal.

"Sounds like a plan," Olivia said.

Noah tried to push the stroller in the direction of the game area, but Ed and Olivia stopped him, preferring to carry the twins.

"Yep," Noah agreed, "That better, then they can see me win!"

They bade Patricia farewell and let Noah lead the way from booth to booth. Once they were safely ensconced in the crowd, Olivia finally let loose her laughter.

" _Wow_ ," she marveled. "That was… _forward_."

"Told ya."

"She was drooling."

"Pretty bold," Ed remarked, "I mean, you're right here. And you're," he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Fucking gorgeous."

"Her son's in Kindergarten. If Noah stays at this school you're going to have to keep her at bay for the next…twelve years."

"Great," he grumbled. He adjusted Wyatt in his arms so he was facing outward and could see the bustling activities in front of him. With her other arm he pulled Olivia close, and they cheered for Noah as he tossed beanbags through the holes in a life-size scarecrow.

….

Sonny spent all day Sunday doting on Brooke who was not feeling like her normal self and was hoping to rally and be at least eighty-percent for work the next day. She didn't have much of an appetite, but Sonny insisted on preparing breakfast and lunch. While she lounged on the sofa watching reruns, he did laundry and cleaned the loft without making too much noise. As afternoon turned into evening, she sat up, rubbed her face and her unwashed blonde bobbed hair, and caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror.

"Oh my God. I need to at least get in the shower. I look like complete shit."

Sonny kissed her cheek. "You're beautiful. You want me to run you a bath?"

"No…I need a shower. A long one."

"Holler if you need me."

"I will." Brooke started ascending the stairs and then stopped. "When do you think I should tell my parents?"

"I don't think there's a hard and clear rule for that," he answered, hoping to say the right thing. "My sisters, they always told everyone right away, but they have big mouths. Whatever you wanna do…whatever feels right."

"I think I need to wait a little while. I need…some time."

"Then that's what we'll do."

"Of course, that is assuming Sarah can keep quiet."

"How confident are you that that will happen?" He asked with a grin.

"Seventy-eighty percent."

Sonny had a couple of other questions. Weighing most heavily on his mind was whether or not they were proceeding with their late January wedding. The invitations needed to go out soon and the bridal shower was already planned.

"Sonny, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

"Looked like you wanted to say something else."

"No…just thinking…about us." He saw Brooke raise her eyebrows, "Good thoughts," he added reassuringly. "Hey, here," he tossed her a fresh towel from the nearby laundry basket.

"Thanks...love you."

"Love you too."

…

Ed and Olivia batted around the idea of going to Riverdale for Sunday dinner but decided to just go home instead. By the time they left the festival is was almost five o'clock, Noah won the twins a bear and a plush pumpkin, and Ed had to fend off one more fawning encounter from Patricia Flynn.

They were on their way out when she rushed up and asked if they wanted to take the bales of hay home. Ed nearly guffawed at the inquiry and Olivia, seeing him struggle to restrain his laughter, stepped in and told her they would gladly cede ownership to the school.

"Thanks again for your help!"

"Our pleasure," Olivia replied. Ed was already pushing the stroller toward the gate. She looped one arm through his and took Noah's hand.

"Order in?" Ed asked when they finally had everything and everyone unloaded. "Thai? We haven't had that in a while."

"Sounds good," Olivia was pacing the kitchen with Maggie in her arms, kissing at her head and hugging the infant to her chest, and occasionally whispering, "sweet girl." True to form though, Maggie didn't tolerate long bouts of cuddling and it wasn't long before she was straining for some room to look around. Olivia swung her in the air a few times and Maggie let out bursts of squeals and giggles.

Taking a break, Olivia sat the baby on the island, still holding her, and Maggie grabbed at anything within reaching distance—keys, bananas, Ed's wallet, and, finally, the prize pumpkin.

"I love seeing you smile like that," Ed called over to her from where he was buckling Wyatt into the swing.

Olivia hadn't noticed he'd been watching her all that closely. "Smile how?" She asked, playing coy.

"Like you did just now. Nothing but… _joy_."

"I smile like that all the time."

"No ya don't," Ed gently protested, "I mean, you do more than when we first met, but…that unadulterated Olivia Benson smile…I just love seeing it. You look so happy."

Keeping a peripheral eye on Maggie, Olivia looked across the room, concerned about the point her husband was making. "I am happy, Ed. I've _been_ happy. For a long time now."

"I know. It's just…" he trailed off, sensing tension and not wanting to start an argument from what he thought was a compliment.

"Just what?"

Ed rubbed his chin. He glanced at Noah who was perched in his beanbag and happily navigating a new math game on his iPad. Ed joined his wife at the island. "I just always want you to be happy, Liv."

"Are you worried I'm not? Because I don't smile like that all the time?"

"It just reminded me there's a whole other level to that happiness is all," Ed replied, treading cautiously now and seeing that smile he loved so much retreat back into the depths of Olivia's soul. "Sorry. I…I shouldn'ta said anything."

Backtracking, both conversationally and physically, Ed went back to Wyatt and even though he had just put him in the swing, got him out, and went to the sofa. He flicked on the television and ordered the food. When it arrived a short time later, they ate at the table as usual, making small talk, recalling the highlights of the day, and generally avoiding direct words with one another. All conversation flowed through Noah. The rest of the night passed in typical fashion for Noah and the twins, but Ed and Olivia were both uneasy and moved around with the collective apprehension of a couple who was well aware something was not quite right.

Ed returned to the bedroom after putting the twins down, stripped to his underwear, and climbed under the covers. Olivia was flipping through her phone and he gave her a peck on the cheek, muttered a terse night, and turned off his lamp. He badly wanted to clear the air, explain he didn't mean anything hurtful by his observation, apologize again that she had perceived it that way…but instinct told him to leave it alone for the time being. Turning on his side, back to Olivia, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Minutes later, he felt her sling an arm over his midsection and her head land on his pillow. She took a deep breath, exhaling into his ear. " _Ed_."

"Hmmm?"

"I know what you meant."

Hearing the concession in her voice, he turned on his back and met her apologetic eyes. "I really didn't meanta imply anything other than I love seeing you smile, Liv."

"But…you're right," she sighed, "I was just looking at pictures and you're absolutely correct. There are…sometimes I really do look like I'm holding back."

Ed ran his fingers through her thick brown locks. "I didn't even think about it that way, Liv. Seriously. Seeing you so happy makes me happy…and…it's not like _I_ smile all that often."

"No…" Olivia traced little circles on his chest, "You smirk…you have…a lot of different smirks, and I love every one of them. But I'm…there is _nothing_ wrong, okay?"

"Okay."

"You don't sound convinced."

Resignation filling his face, Ed asked, "Can I be honest?"

"Please."

"You kinda scared me earlier. There was…this edge in your voice that I don't remember you ever using. With _me_. At least, with me since we've been together."

Olivia bit her lip and switched to figure-eight patterns. "Maybe…maybe that woman bothered me more than I thought…more than I let on."

Her fingers were digging more deeply into his abdomen now, signaling that their exchange was drifting away from its initial somber tone. "Oh yeah?" He teased.

"I felt…a little jealous…and that's so… _not_ _me_."

"I'm kinda flattered."

"Because of her?" Olivia knew the answer and knew the question was ridiculous, but they were in full-on banter mode now and she was thrilled there was no trace of the earlier awkwardness.

He was thrilled, too.

"You know better than that," Ed retorted. His hands were exploring her back now, teasing at the elastic of her pajama pants. "I'm flattered that you want me so much."

"Is that news to you?" She draped her body over his and stared into his eyes, waiting for an answer.

"I guess not."

"You _guess_?" Olivia slowly placed kisses along his jawline, "He _guesses_ ," she murmured to herself. "You're everything to me, Ed. Everything to our family. So yes. Today. I…felt threatened. And I didn't like it."

"Liv, you—" Ever so slowly, she gyrated her hips against his, causing him to draw a sharp breath.

"I know," she said in a throaty, seductive voice. "I shouldn't ever feel threatened."

All Ed could manage was a strained "no," for one of Olivia's hands was inside his boxers and the other was tugging at her own pants.

"But I couldn't help it," she whispered, her lips on his now, "Competition. Just. Makes me a little crazy."

"You're makin' _me_ crazy." Ed cupped the back of her head. They kissed almost violently, the heat collecting under the covers, beads of sweat already dotting their foreheads. He tried to flip them over, but Olivia smirked slyly and shook her head.

"Uh-uh, Captain," she rasped, sitting up a little and moaning when Ed massaged her breasts and then took each one into his mouth. She threw her head back and cried out his name, perhaps a little too loudly, but Ed was relentless with his mouth and he lifted himself off the bed, pursuing her, enjoying the teasing but wanting her too badly to take much more.

"I gotta, _Liv_ , I," he stammered.

She grabbed both sides of his head and stared into his eyes, her lids almost completely shading her brown irises. "Whatcha need, Captain?"

"You." He attached his lips to her neck and sucked, probably too hard, and managed to flip positions. For a second he forgot there were sleeping children in the house and he shot her a cocky, carnal grin in response to her initial amorous cries for him to go faster, harder, keep hitting that spot and _Do. Not. Ever. Stop. Making. Love. To Me_. He covered her mouth with his and swallowed the louder shrieks as her body quivered beneath him and his pants mixed with her sated sighs as he exploded inside of her.

"I'll never stop, Liv," he rasped, smiling at her, his body completely covering hers and his hands brushing back her hair. "Never."

…..

The sound of their bedroom door opening roused Ed and he scrambled to sit up and adjust his eyes to the darkness of the room, lit only by a sliver of moonlight. He immediately saw it was Noah and retracted his hand from the nightstand drawer where his new, legally registered, civilian handgun was kept with the safety engaged.

Olivia was dead to the world next to him, snoring lightly. Like Ed, she was completely naked.

"Hey, No, you okay?"

"I don't feel good," he mumbled pathetically.

Ed slung his legs over the side of the bed and toed around for some sweatpants. Sure enough, there was a pair beneath him, thanks to their decision to sacrifice a less-than-orderly bedroom for a relatively tidy rest of the house.

On his way around the bed he caught a glimpse of the clock through bleary eyes. Three a.m. It was going to be a long night if Noah was really sick. Ed ushered him out of the bedroom and into the hall bathroom where he felt the boy's forehead. He was burning up.

"C'mere, pal. Let's take your temperature."

He put the digital thermometer in Noah's ear and hit the button.

100.5.

"Hang on, pal. Lemme check with Mommy."

Noah wrapped his arms around Ed's neck. "Carry me," he whimpered.

Ed hoisted him up and the two of them went back to the bedroom and gently woke Olivia. She opened her eyes with a start but fell back into her pillow when she saw Noah and Ed.

"What's wrong?"

"He's got a fever. Hundred point five."

"Sweet boy," she reached for Noah's hand. "Let's getcha some medicine."

"I'm gonna change his pajamas. They're damp."

"Okay."

Olivia quickly threw on another pair of Ed's sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. He remarked that he liked her outfit when she joined them in the kitchen and she responded with a flirtatious eye roll while measuring Children's Tylenol.

"Here, sweetie. Drink this."

"It cherry?"

"Grape."

Noah wrinkled his nose, but downed the liquid from the plastic measuring cup. Olivia poured Pedialyte into his favorite Thomas cup. "This'll help you feel better, too, sweet boy. Want Mommy to rock you?"

"Uh-huh."

Ed kissed his head and handed him over. Olivia went to the larger rocking chair in the living room and cradled Noah. Ed covered them with a light blanket and flopped on the couch.

"Ed, honey, go back to bed."

"You sure?" He asked through a yawn.

"Yes."

"Come get me if ya need anything." He gently mussed Noah's hair. "You'll feel better soon, pal. Love you."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Need Bernie."

"Be right back."

When Ed returned, Noah eagerly grabbed his bear and snuggled it against his mother. Olivia smiled at Ed and continued singing a song Ed recognized as an old standard from Rodgers and Hammerstein.

 _Walk on through the wind_

 _Walk on through the rain_

 _Though your dreams be tossed and blown_

 _Walk on, walk on_

 _With hope in your heart_

 _And you'll never walk alone_

 _You'll never walk alone_

 _Walk on, walk on_

 _With hope in your heart_

 _And you'll never walk alone_

 _You'll never walk alone_

….

" _Oh-kay_ , baby girl, almost done." Ed had one hand on Maggie's chest and plucked a onesie from the pile below the changing table. He gently slid it over her and threaded her arms through the sleeves. Before fastening the snaps he growled playfully and blew strawberries on her tummy, eliciting familiar gurgly giggles and making her kick and squirm even more. Next went on a pair of black-and-white polka dotted pants and a matching top with ballet slippers printed in the center.

Before he put the top on, he held it up for her. "You like this, Maggs? Ballet? You gonna be a dancer?"

She smiled and yelped, locking her pale blue eyes on her Daddy's. For a second Ed felt like there was a precocious wisdom in those eyes. Like he and Maggie had just exchanged an unspoken secret, an understanding, and when Ed finished dressing her and picked her up, he kissed her delicate, defined cheeks, gave her eskimo kisses, and whispered, "I love you, Margaret Caroline."

More baby babbles.

"Let's go play with your brother." Wyatt was already out in the living room, sitting up with the assistance of his Boppy, surrounded by the Tucker twins' healthy toy collection. Noah was snuggled on the couch watching movies. Realizing the twins had most likely already been exposed to what Olivia assumed was a mild case of the flu, she and Ed opted to keep everyone home today rather than send the kids to day care.

"Liv, I'm gonna run out and get some soup for Noah before you go in."

"Okay." Olivia called over her shoulder. She was at the sink rinsing the twins' rice cereal bowls. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay home today? I can probably go in and get some things and come right back."

"We'll be fine. I'll call ya and keep you posted. But he looks better. How ya feelin' No?"

Noah moaned a little and mumbled that he was thirsty. Ed brought him a fresh cup of juice and Noah frowned. "Want a float."

"A float?"

"From Gamma Care-line."

Ed chuckled, "You really must be on the mend. We'll get ya a float soon, bud. Right now we need to get ya all better, so drink this and we'll have some good soup for lunch."

"At least it's not the stomach flu," Olivia remarked with a smile, drying her hands. She'd given him dry toast for breakfast as a precaution, but he ate it hungrily and complained that it was "too crispy" so she was confident this bug would not affect him for long. "I just took his temp and he's down to ninety-nine."

"Tylenol?"

"He'll need another dose at noon."

"Alright. I'mma run to the store."

Olivia waited until Ed returned to get ready for work. She spent a little time on the floor with the twins and then gave Noah more snuggles until he started to get mildly annoyed with his doting mother and shifted his head away from her so he could see the television without obstruction.

"You'll feel better soon, sweet boy," Olivia cooed, giving him one last kiss on the forehead. "Daddy's gonna take care of you this afternoon and I'll be home early."

"Kay Mommy. Daddy know how."

"Yeah he does."

A thought popped into Noah's mind and he turned from the animation to face his mother. "We sing more songs when you come home?"

"Absolutely."

Noah smiled contentedly and murmured, "Mommy sing the songs; Daddy get the soup."

"We make a good team, don't we, sweetie?"

"Yep. Tucker team."

"That's right."

"Brookey say that 'literation."

"What?"

"Brookey teached me it. Small squirmy silly sister. That's 'literation. _T-_ ucker _t-_ eam! That's 'literation, too!"

"It sure is, Noah. You are so smart."

"Uh-huh. But no school today."

"No. You'll stay home until you feel better."

"Mmmm," Noah settled back into his pillow. "Mommy?"

"Yes, sweet boy?"

"Those babies talkin?"

Olivia peered over the back of the sofa. Maggie and Wyatt were facing each other, jangling their toys, and exchanging little shrieks and babbles.

"Yes, sweetheart, they are."

"What they sayin?"

"We don't know yet. Right now they kind of have their own little language."

" _Those babies_ ," Noah sighed, sounding like a sagely old grandfather rather than a four-year-old.

"Yeah, those babies." Olivia looked back and forth between her infants and her almost-five-year-old. Her heart and soul filled with affection and warmth. She pictured Ed, out in the cold, swiftly yet carefully choosing soup Noah would like, cognizant of the time, not wanting to delay Olivia longer than absolutely necessary.

"Team Tucker," she murmured under her breath, inverting Noah's words and smiling to herself.

"Itsa good team, Mommy," Noah added.

Olivia hadn't realized he heard her, but she wholeheartedly agreed.

"Sure is, sweet boy. The _best_ team."

….

#Tuckson

#TeamTucker


	38. Chapter 38

**Thirty-seven.**

Despite the grandiose views offered from the thirty-fifth floor unit, Sarah's house hunting assistant kept his eyes glued to the iPad and his ears open, ready to receive directions to check one box or the other. Wanting to make this decision as easy as possible, Sarah created a simple form to log her observations as the real estate agent showed her properties. She made the categories simple and taught them to Noah, who was just starting to seriously learn to read. Words like "view" and phrases such as "floor plan" were listed on the left side of the spreadsheet, and the other two columns were labeled "yes" and "no." It was easy for Noah to tap either one when prompted by his big sister.

After Ed refused to allow her to take Noah out of school early, Sarah rearranged her showings so they could take place later in the afternoons or early evenings. Noah happily went along. Prior to meeting the agent, Sarah smeared product in his hair and dressed him in what would be, on an adult male, business casual attire. Today he wore a navy shirt under a green sweater with tan slacks. The leather Kenneth Cole boots that matched Ed's were on his feet.

"Noey," Sarah instructed as she assessed the kitchen, "Hit yes for open space."

After a second or two, Noah responded with a businesslike, "kay."

"No for laundry. That's the _ell_ word all the way at the bottom."

"Got it."

Sneaking a peek at the chart, the agent hovered over Noah. He frowned and moved so her view was obstructed. This was Noah-Sare Bear business and others were not allowed to see their data. "The building has a laundry service and the laundry facilities are beautiful, we can—"

"I _hate_ not having laundry in the unit," Sarah replied petulantly.

"Perhaps your assistant here can be trained to do it?"

She meant the comment as a joke but both Noah and Sarah shot her exasperated looks.

"My brother does _not_ do laundry."

"Daddy do laundry," Noah informed the woman.

"Your mother doesn't do it?" She asked, trying to ingratiate herself with Noah. He'd been a tough nut to crack so far.

Noah thought. "Uh-huh. She wash the babies' stuff."

"I bet two babies make a lot of dirty laundry!"

"Yep!" Noah replied, brightening up a little, "Those babies haveta have a lotta clothes!"

Sarah wandered into the living room and leaned on the window sill. "You know," she murmured, "I think I want something pre-war. Something with maybe a little more character even if it's not as open as this one. I don't _feel_ right here. Do you Noey?"

"I feel good, Sare Bear."

"But do you _feel_ like this is home. Like, would you want to sleep here if I lived here?"

Noah twisted his lips, contemplating the question, and he spun around for a panoramic view of the large room. "I liketa sleep at your house."

Sarah nodded knowingly, "Yeah. My building now is pre-war. We need to go that route for sure."

"Pre-war," the agent mumbled to herself. "We have…a few units in this area. Do you want to see—" She stopped talking when she realized Sarah was paying zero attention to her and instead listening to Noah.

"Gotta go potty," he said tugging at her shirt.

"Noey, can you wait a few minutes? We'll get dinner after this."

"I hold it."

He didn't have to wait long. Minutes later they were in the building's lobby. Sarah brushed aside the offer to see the laundry facilities, and ushered Noah down the street toward Eighth Avenue. "We'll get to a bathroom soon, Noey!" She assured him cheerfully. "Don't worry!"

Noah either forgot about using the restroom or blocked out the urge because he skipped along happily, holding Sarah's hand, and announced he wanted steak again.

"Steak?"

"Yep!"

"Well, if this is going to be my new neighborhood, I guess I better find a steak place." Sarah took out her phone and quickly found a few options that looked kid friendly and casual. She chose the closest one and led Noah in. After assuring the hostess they were, indeed, planning to stay and order food, Sarah took Noah into the restroom. As she held him up so he could scrub his hands, he peered at her through the mirror and smiled sweetly.

"You pretty, Sare Bear."

She kissed his cheek and he leaned his head into hers. "Thank you, Noey. You make a girl blush."

"Blush?"

"Yep. It means ya get a little red because someone gave you a compliment."

"Comp-li-ment?"

Sarah dried his hands while still maintaining their eye contact in the mirror. "Yes. A compliment is when you say something nice about someone else. And you, my little brother, are very handsome. The two of us together make a beautiful couple. And when you're older and you graduate from college you can work with me and we can be a _power_ couple."

"I'm your 'sistant."

"You sure are. Thank you for your help today."

"Welcome."

They left the restroom and sat at a high top table in the bar area. Sarah glared haughtily at the hostess who had assumed they entered solely for the restrooms, as she hoisted herself into the chair. The server promptly came over and Sarah ordered a glass of pinot grigio for herself and a Shirley Temple for Noah. When the glasses came, she held hers in the air and steadied Noah's with her other hand. "To the best brother-sister house hunting team on the planet! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Noah repeated, slamming his glass into hers, spilling a few drops, and happily mumbling an innocent-sounding "oopsie."

Even the grumpy hostess had to smile as she watched the toast. The relationship between the two customers was ambiguous, but she was certain not many other guests so conspicuously enjoyed one another's company than the smartly dressed pair occupying the table by the window.

…

With the workaday manner of a seasoned detective, Fin hung up the phone and called for Rollins.

"High Line Hitman Again," he muttered with a sardonic smirk. "Hitman" wasn't exactly the correct verbiage, but some unsavory character had been terrorizing tourists in the most secluded parts of the elevated park and what began as attempted purse snatchings had escalated into sexual assault—if the perpetrator was, in fact, the same guy.

"Any chance you can take Carisi?" Rollins asked without raising her eyes from her computer.

"He's not here."

"He's not?"

"No. He called, said he was gonna be late."

Seemingly out of nowhere, Olivia arrived and, having overheard part of the exchange, asked, "Who's going to be late?"

"Carisi."

The Lieutenant muttered a disinterested "oh" and retreated to her office where she removed her coat, closed the door, and got situated behind her desk. She knew Carisi was at Brooke's doctor's appointment and she tried to ignore the anxiety bubble swelling in her gut. Suddenly, she wished Brooke and Sarah hadn't broken the news to her first before telling Ed. Two days ago, unable to keep the secret any longer and chomping at the bit to tell someone, Olivia became the recipient of the first leak. The girls, well, Sarah in particular, wanted to come up with a creative way to tell Ed he was going to be a grandfather. Olivia recalled Brooke's tentative smile and the way her hands had drifted to her still-flat belly. Olivia worked hard to placate Sarah and commiserate with Brooke. The news, while exciting, came with a certain degree of disbelief and maybe a little bit of panic—emotions she had felt almost a year ago when her own pregnancy was confirmed.

She and the girls decided to tell Ed at his birthday dinner, a week before Thanksgiving, so they could process and celebrate as an immediate family before spreading the news to the rest of the Tuckers and the Carisis.

"We'll get him a _Worlds Best Grandpa_ shirt!" Sarah suggested blissfully, "And he'll be all like, _what the fuck_? And we'll be…YOU'RE GONNA BE A GRANDPA!"

Brooke never loosened up as they spoke, and Olivia noticed how much Brooke resembled Ed in emotional moments like this. She stiffened her jaw exactly like her father and her natural round face and soft features narrowed and hardened instantaneously. Sarah, on the other hand, was an open book. Her eyes danced with excitement and her words came out rapidly as she detailed her plans to get a t-shirt printed over the course of forty-eight hours. Then again, she wasn't the newly pregnant one.

Instinctively, Olivia's eyes fell to her lap and she recalled how nervous she'd been throughout her pregnancy. Nervous about the twins' health. Nervous about what adding two new children to the family would do to Noah. Nervous about whether she and Ed were really, truly, still young and energetic enough to raise three small children. Nervous about the actual childbirth. Desperate to hold those tiny bodies growing inside of her.

But she had never once sensed something was wrong.

She had that feeling now.

At the risk of being labeled overbearing, Olivia sent a check-in text to Carisi. He responded quickly but with a boilerplate, "All good. Be there soon."

 _At least he didn't use fin_ e, she thought, laughing to herself about herself and, for a few seconds, enjoying the fact that she was able to do such a thing. Inevitably, she pictured Ed with his signature smirk—the one he used only for her, the one perpetually plastered on his face when they were alone together—so many emotions wrapped up in that expression. Pride. Love. Admiration. Gratitude. Maybe a little touch of pure awe.

She tapped her phone again.

 _Are you busy?_

On the receiving end of the text, Ed raised his eyebrows. It hadn't been two hours since they'd dropped the twins at day care and Noah at school. He was sitting in front of a Manhattan ADA hashing out the details of a recent officer-involved shooting. Olivia rarely interrupted him at work, not that he minded, so when he read the message he discreetly excused himself and called her.

"Hey, Liv," he said as soon as she picked up with her own hushed greeting.

" _Ed_ ," she sighed into the phone.

"You alright?"

"Of course," she closed her eyes and shook her head, suddenly embarrassed with her decision to contact him. "I…I…I wanted to hear your voice."

Flattered, Ed's cheeks burned a bright red. "Well, whaddya want me to say?" He teased in his deepest, raspiest voice.

"Hmmmm," Olivia droned, "I think—"

Her verbal thought was interrupted by the sound of her door being flung open by a harried Carisi. "Hey, Lieu, sorry to barge in, but wanted to let you know I'm here."

Torn between her husband and her urge to be assured everything was truly _all good_ , Olivia smiled and mouthed "give me a minute" to Carisi who took the hint and waited for the Lieutenant at his desk.

"Liv?"

"Sorry sweetie, Carisi just came in."

"He even interrupts our _phone calls_ now?"

She imagined Ed's grin and smiled. "Apparently. Um…speaking of interrupting, I thought you had a meeting?"

"I did. I do. But I saw your text and stepped out."

"You're so sweet."

"Yeah," Ed simpered at the compliment, thinking about how differently he was perceived at work as opposed to when he was with his family.

"Anyway," Olivia intoned, knowing he didn't have time to chat but also knowing he wouldn't end the call before she was ready, "I was just thinking about you…and…well, I'm glad to hand everything over to Rollins for the weekend."

"Me too. Hey, listen, you sure you don't want to have dinner, just the two of us tomorrow?"

"It's your birthday," Olivia reminded him, "You _have_ to have everyone over. Those are the rules."

"I _am_ a rule follower."

"You sure are." Olivia observed Carisi and Fin don their coats and walk toward the elevator. Seeing Sonny at work and seemingly unaffected by whatever happened earlier at the doctor's office quelled her anxiety. "Listen, I…and you…should probably get back to work. I'll try to get out of here early."

"Let me know, maybe we can get a drink before we get the kids?"

"I'd love that."

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

"See you later."

"I can't wait."

…..

Noah climbed onto a barstool and inspected the food. Ed's birthday dinner consisted of barbeque chicken, loaded baked potatoes, and roasted vegetables, none of which had been prepared by anyone in attendance. There was chocolate cake for dessert, and Noah covertly lifted the plastic cover and swiped at the icing, making sure to lick his finger clean to remove all incriminating evidence.

"Mommy, I have choc-lit cake for my birthday?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Uh-huh! Just like Daddy."

"I hope Daddy doesn't notice the fingerprint in _his_ cake," Olivia raised a playful eyebrow at her son and mussed his hair.

He grinned at her with the confidence of a child who rarely got in serious trouble. "Jus' a little taste."

From the floor, Maggie started to wail. She and Wyatt had both almost mastered sitting up entirely on their own, but as she reached for a toy, she'd toppled over onto her side. When Wyatt did this, he pushed himself up and worked to roll over or reach for something, making the best of his impossible situation. Maggie easily grew frustrated and fought to get back into a sitting position, but her six month old muscles couldn't quite support that movement yet. Olivia started to rush to her, but Noah jumped gracefully from the stool and placed his hands carefully under her arms, gently lifting his sister back onto her bottom. Before he moved away he punctuated his assistance with a kiss on her head.

"There ya go, small sister. Don't cry, baby. You want your paci?"

Her butterfly toy in hand, Maggie simply drooled and gummed the plastic wings. Noah shrugged and returned to the kitchen as if nothing remarkable had happened, but he saw his mother in tears and immediately became alarmed.

"Mommy?"

She sniffled and wiped her nose with a dish towel, "Yes, sweet boy?"

"You cryin?"

"A little."

"You sad, Mommy?"

Genuine concern formed on his face and it caused more tears to pour from her brown eyes. She tried to respond in a steady voice. "No, sweetheart, I'm not sad. I'm very happy." Confusion replaced the worry in his eyes, and she tried to clarify in language the five-year-old would understand. "Sometimes Mommy gets so happy and she loves you so much…smiling isn't enough and I have tears." He still didn't look satisfied. "It makes me so happy that you take such good care of Maggie and Wyatt."

Taking care of his infant siblings was something Noah could easily understand. "I just help 'em," he explained simply, as if Olivia were the almost-five-year-old. "Those babies can't do all the stuff yet so I'm da big bruvver."

The explanation did nothing to dry her tears. She reached over the island and dragged him across the granite countertops for a hug. Her tears dampened his brown hair and she whispered, "Sweet boy."

"Mommy you always say that." Noah said through a slight giggle.

"I know. I love you so much, Noah."

"Love you, Mommy."

"Okay," she put him down and reached for a tissue, "Daddy will be back soon. Let's get his presents and stack them on the coffee table."

"I get 'em."

Noah ran to retrieve the freshly-wrapped gifts. Olivia gazed absent-mindedly into the Manhattan skyline until movement from the play mat caught her attention. This time, it was Wyatt who had fallen onto his side, and she watched with pride as he worked himself onto his stomach and then reached for Maggie's feet. She squealed and he gurgled determinedly as he tried to inch forward for a better grip.

Crawling wasn't far away. Olivia imagined the twins and Noah boisterously playing chasing games and she and Ed worrying about the disturbance it was causing their downstairs neighbors.

"This is going to be a zoo," she murmured.

But that was fine with her.

….

At first glance, everything seemed normal. Brooke, Sonny, and Sarah entered the Tucker home and greeted Ed with hearty "Happy Birthdays." Sonny let Noah drag him into his room to check out a few new things he'd procured since the last time they'd seen each other, and Sarah threw herself on the floor with Maggie and Wyatt, complimenting their outfits and expressing her sincere pleasure that Maggie was wearing a silver sweater dress over black leggings. A few minutes later she disappeared into the twins' room and returned with a gigantic black bow which she fastened around her head with a flourish.

"There ya go, small sister! Your ensemble is now complete!"

"She doesn't like those," Ed muttered and looked on, satisfied, as Maggie grasped at the unwelcome elastic band, yanking a few strands of her light brown hair in the process.

Sarah lifted Maggie so their faces were almost touching. "Maggs, we women sometimes must endure discomfort for fashion."

Maggie broke into a series of shrill shrieks and did not stop until she was bow-free.

"Sheesh," Sarah huffed, "You sure aren't shy about speaking your mind!"

While everyone else in the house was occupied, Brooke joined Olivia in the kitchen. She offered to help, but there wasn't much to do. Olivia offered Brooke a beverage and she requested a beer which at first didn't strike Olivia as odd. But, she quickly did a double take.

"A beer?" She whispered.

Gloom clouded Brooke's blue eyes. Without another word, Olivia grabbed her wrist and took her into the bedroom and closed the door.

"Brooke? Honey? What happened?" Dread burned Olivia's chest, but she tried to remain calm. Brooke's lips were trembling and her eyes filled with tears. "Sweetheart?"

"We…our…" she struggled for words and Olivia held her hands. "The appointment yesterday…well, earlier, that night, I had some cramps, not bad, on and off, and I figured, well, we had an appointment in the morning, so what difference can a couple hours make?"

A gigantic hole opened in Olivia's gut then, but she stifled her own anguish and held Brooke tightly. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"The doctor said there was nothing that could've been done," Brooke sniffled, "The baby…was just… _gone_."

Olivia pressed Brooke's head into the space below her chin and breathed deeply, trying to calm both of them. Brooke sunk further into Olivia's body, allowing herself to be comforted, soothed, and strengthened by the older woman's arms. It was a motherly embrace, one Brooke couldn't remember ever receiving from Angela, and she mumbled a nearly inaudible "thank you" into Olivia's shoulder.

"This was supposed to be, I don't know what to tell Dad, this was going to be a celebration. His birthday…"

"Stop," Olivia ordered softly, refusing to release her, "We'll tell him together. And we'll get through this together."

"I hate that I'm something we have to _get through_. A…burden."

Olivia held her at arm's length now and made firm eye contact. "Stop," she repeated. "You have never been nor will you ever be a burden. We're a family. We love each other. And this is what families do. We support each other in good times and in the tough times, especially in the tough times."

"Liv, I love you so much," Brooke blurted out before erupting into a fresh round of sobs and falling against Olivia.

Even considering the tragic circumstances, Olivia wasn't prepared for this outpouring of emotion from Brooke who typically kept her feelings under lock and key. "It'll be okay, honey," she whispered into her hair. "Everything will be okay." She repeated this assurance a few more times before the pragmatic Brooke returned.

"I…can I use your bathroom? I need to get it together. I don't want to freak everyone out."

"Of course."

"Sonny and I will tell Dad before we leave, okay? I don't want to ruin the party, but I don't want to wait to tell him either. We, uh, kind of put you in a rough spot again. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." This time, being in between Ed and a Sarah-Brooke secret occurred with the very best intentions, but Brooke was right. Olivia did not want to keep this particular knowledge to herself for very long.

A faint, "Where's Mommy?" drifted into the room.

"I'm going to get the table ready for dinner," Olivia said. "Take your time."

"Olivia?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

….

Ed exited the shower, towel dried, threw on a pair of boxers, and joined Olivia in the bedroom. She momentarily stepped back from reality and admired her husband's physique. He still held the towel to his head and the movement accentuated his toned abs and pecs. A few months ago he was worried about gaining weight, but he was either way off base or had been sneaking in regular workouts because his chest and shoulders appeared as chiseled and sculpted as Olivia had ever seen them.

He sat on the edge of her side of the bed and brushed his fingers along her cheek, "Ya okay?"

"No."

He felt her jaw begin to shake and he quickly lifted her up and into his arms, "I know," he whispered.

Olivia sobbed violently against Ed's body, trembling and jerking, not bothering to lessen the intensity of her grief. She kept herself under control earlier when Brooke and Sonny apologetically ended the evening with the bad news. Ed's strength sustained her calm demeanor for a while, but now, alone in their bedroom, the dam collapsed.

"I feel so guilty," she croaked.

"I know," Ed murmured again, stroking her back, trying to soothe her so she could at least talk without gasping for air.

" _Why_ …I don't get it," she pulled away from him slightly and took the tissue he offered. "Why—"

"Why what, Liv?" He asked softly, sort of knowing what she was getting at.

She swallowed, hard, and took a deep breath. "Why do we, at our age, get two perfect babies, _miraculously_ really, and Brooke and Sonny have to go through this?"

"There's no answer to that, Liv."

"There should be."

"But there isn't," he replied firmly yet tenderly, "Things like this…they happen. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe something was really truly wrong and it was nature's way of preventing even worse circumstances. I dunno, baby, but…this is not your fault."

"I feel terrible."

"So do I. And we will for a while. But," Ed put his hands on her shoulders and nearly had to force eye contact with his devastated wife, "They'll have other chances to get pregnant. You'll see. It'll be fine in the end."

Olivia started crying again. She shook her head and mumbled, "I just don't get it."

"Olivia Margaret… _stop_. Sometimes bad things happen. You know this. You've seen it. There is no _why_ , baby. And trying to answer that will drive ya nuts."

" _I_ —"

"And there is no _I_ either," he interjected, " _We_ will help them through this. Whatever they need. But not outta guilt, Liv. We will not feel guilty for what we have."

"That sounds incredibly selfish."

"No," he brushed back strands of brown hair, dampened by salty tears, "It's not. We're too grateful for Maggie and Wyatt and Noah for this to be selfish. Not a day goes by when I don't thank God for you and for our kids. We are so lucky, Liv. And that doesn't mean we're bad people, or we've somehow jinxed others."

Ed peeled back the covers and repositioned himself against the pillows and the headboard. "C'mon," he pulled Olivia backwards and she complied, leaning her head against his chest and draping one of her arms across his stomach. He tilted her head back for a kiss and then resumed his protective hold on her. "Go to sleep, baby. It'll be a little better in the morning."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	39. Chapter 39

**Thirty-nine.**

The efficient barista handed over two coffees, and Ed joined his wife at the shop's bar seating overlooking Broadway, the only available spots in the crowded, bustling space. There were no stools available, so they wedged themselves into a corner standing inches apart with their elbows resting on the narrow wooden platform. Neither Ed nor Olivia minded the close proximity and for several minutes they were content to people watch in silence.

After dropping Noah at school and the twins at day care, Ed insisted on escorting Olivia to work. It had been a difficult weekend and he wasn't quite ready to leave his wife's side. The coffee date was an impromptu effort to prolong their time together before Ed had to report to the DA's office and Olivia went to the precinct. With eleven days until Thanksgiving, what was usually a slow time of year had proven otherwise for the NYPD, and the Tuckers, dejectedly expected to spend a lot of time apart over the next week.

"Think Carisi will wanna talk to ya?" Ed gently played with the fingers on Olivia's free hand. There was no use in attempting to avoid talking about the miscarriage; it had cast a pall over them all weekend. Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt provided distractions, but, inevitably, when Ed and Olivia shared moments alone, the doleful expression returned to Olivia's face. He did his best to comfort her, but healing would take more than his encouraging words and his powerful embrace.

They all needed time.

"I don't know," she sighed, "Maybe. Probably. You know how he is. He's always tried to pry information out of me…I'm sure I won't have to work hard to get it out of him."

Ed forced a chuckle. "Sounds about right."

"I've, well, we, Carisi and I, we've been so good at keeping the line between the personal and professional, but I don't see that happening very easily right now."

"You make the rules, Lieutenant," Ed pointed out, unable to completely remove the flirtation from his voice when uttering her rank. "Might be better, if he wants to talk, to get it all out in one shot."

She gave his hand a squeeze and admired how handsome he looked in his charcoal shirt and midnight blue tie, "You're probably right."

"Call me, alright? Anytime. I'll pick up."

"I hope I'll get a second to do that," Olivia said, "In fact, I better get going. I need to get caught up on everything that happened over the weekend. Rollins said it was…hectic."

Ed gave her a peck on the cheek. "Don't forget to eat something."

She smiled appreciatively, "I won't."

Outside, Ed put a hand on the small of her back, guiding her down the densely populated sidewalk before turning a corner and escaping most of the crowd. The Sixteenth Precinct was just ahead, and Ed pulled her into a doorway to kiss her goodbye.

"I love you, Liv."

"I love you," she pressed her cheek to his and took a deep breath. "Have a good day."

"You too."

He watched her unbuttoned gray trench flap in the wind as she ascended the exterior stairs. Before entering, she turned back to Ed, knowing his eyes were still on her, and shot him a quick, cocky grin, signaling a transition to cop mode. Confident she would get through the day just fine, he felt better about leaving her side and headed for City Hall.

….

Having possession of a spare key, Sarah let herself into Brooke's building and cursed the rickety elevator which the real estate brochures claimed was evidence of the building's warehouse history, but in reality provided a rather nerve-wracking ride. Every time Sarah was in it she predicted a precipitous fall to the basement. She actually preferred the service elevator which she'd used on moving day, and, since they often used the parking garage, was also Brooke and Sonny's go-to lift.

Safely on the top floor, she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Being supportive and knowing all the right things to say was easier with alcohol, but it was nine in the morning and Sarah didn't want to add stress to Brooke's life by showing up already having had a morning cocktail.

"Here goes," she whispered before rapping on the door with the back of her hand.

Brooke opened up quickly. Freshly showered and having had a decent night's sleep, she appeared livelier and had better coloring than she'd displayed over the past few days. Pleasantly surprised, Sarah sashayed into the loft in her typical carefree manner, tossed her bag on the couch, and rummaged through the refrigerator more for something to do than a need to find something to eat or drink.

"We don't have much," Brooke said, "But…we can go out for breakfast if you want. Or wait a little while and do lunch."

Sarah raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Brooke's eyes darted around the room, "We stayed here the whole day yesterday."

"I think all of Manhattan stayed inside yesterday," Sarah replied, calling to mind Sunday's twenty-four hours of cold rain and wind. "Except, of course, delivery people. I think I tipped the pizza guy about two-hundred percent."

"That was nice of you."

"Yeah it was."

The small talk fizzled out quickly. Brooke retreated to the couch and covered herself with a fleece blanket bearing her alma mater's logo she'd had since her freshman year in college. Since announcing her pregnancy, Sarah noticed Brooke excavating these pieces of her past—this blanket, old jeans, ratty sweatshirts with frayed sleeves. It was almost like she was trying to transport herself to a simpler time—a time when her only worries were grades and job applications and her roommates who stayed up too late playing cards and were loud when she was student teaching and trying to sleep because she had to be up before dawn most mornings.

Sarah poured what was left of the coffee into a mug and parked herself in an armchair situated at an angle where she could eyeball Brooke and also enjoy the view of the sun completing its ascent into the blue Manhattan sky.

"You feeling okay?" She asked, "I mean, physically?"

"Yeah. Yesterday was… _bad_. I'll spare you the details."

"Thanks." Sarah took a sip and grimaced. Sonny made his coffee too strong for her liking, but she drank it anyway. "How many days are you taking off work?"

"Today and tomorrow."

"Did you tell them what happened?"

"I told my Principal," Brooke replied, "But, thankfully, I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant so I don't have to deal with…the looks of pity and the I'm sorries, and, you know."

"Yeah. That would make everything…worse."

"Yeah."

Sarah desperately wanted to ask about the wedding and whether Brooke was still planning to go through with getting married. Even though the pregnancy was not the reason for their nuptials, she wondered if this loss would make Brooke rethink everything. She mentally rifled through some ways to broach the subject but chickened out.

"I think we should do lunch," Sarah said. "But first, do you feel like shopping at all? We have a cocktail party next week and I have absolutely nothing to wear."

Brooke allowed herself to giggle. "I'm sure that's not true."

"I have mostly work clothes," Sarah protested, "And my dresses are all summery. I need something sophisticated but not too sexy. I'm not going there to get a man."

"Nobody there is interesting? Attractive?"

"Not really. At least, nobody I interact with. They're either old or married or my age and stupid."

"You think you'll ever get married again?" Brooke asked perhaps to attempt to resume her status as the sister with the least drama in her life.

Sarah was resolute. "I've decided I'm not actively looking for anyone. I'm just enjoying life. I have my family. I have Hillary. The idea of dating is…so…. _ugh_."

"Have you been on any dates lately?"

"Are we counting Argentina?"

"Did you have a date _there_? You were only gone a week."

"It was more like a fling."

"A fling, huh?"

"Yeah," Sarah replied with a wistful smile, "I think…well…flings aren't so bad. C'mon," she popped up, nearly sloshing the rest of her coffee on the floor, "Shopping and lunch."

Brooke folded the blanket neatly and went upstairs to change.

"Brooke?" Sarah called out to her.

"Yeah?"

"Will you please wear something that isn't circa the beginning of this century?"

Sarah could practically hear the force of Brooke's eye roll and smiled. Gradually, things were getting back to normal.

…

A whirlwind of activity swirled in the squad room and Olivia waved Rollins into her office for an update as she breezed in from the elevator. The ponytailed Sergeant closed the door and, due to the drawn blinds, she and her superior were completely ensconced in privacy. Rollins detailed three separate sexual assaults, all unsolved, including another on the High Line.

"Everything's either emailed or on your desk," she said. "We've been working surveillance footage all weekend. DNA from the rape kits will be in any minute and we'll move from there."

Olivia nodded her approval. "Great. Good work. Thank you for this weekend. I owe ya."

"How was Captain Tucker's birthday?"

"It was nice," Olivia replied, "Always good to be with family."

"Speaking of…ah…I'm going to need to take a couple of vacation days after Thanksgiving if that's okay."

"Of course. No problem. Just send me the paperwork. You certainly deserve it."

Rollins lingered and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "It's…it's Declan."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Declan?"

"As you predicted," Rollins replied, "He had to come out. He's upstate at his buddy's cabin, laying low for a while and he wants Jesse and me to visit for a weekend."

"Good, Amanda," Olivia said with a reassuring smile, "That's a good thing. I hope you have a nice time. And, you can go earlier if you want."

Rollins shook her head. "My mother's coming in this week. Have to clear that hurdle first."

"Good luck with that," Olivia muttered, hoping Rollins would appreciate her good-natured sarcasm.

She did. " _Right_ ," she scoffed. "Okay, enough family drama, I'm gonna see where we're at with the DNA."

She almost collided with Carisi on her way out of the office. "Oh, sorry Sarge," he muttered, sidestepping her and stumbling through the doorway. "Lieu, hey, you got a minute?"

"Sure."

Carisi closed the door. With no one else there, his typical joviality instantaneously disappeared. Olivia was certain Sonny had never shed tears in her presence and she wondered if today was going to be the day she saw him cry. He'd put on a brave front when he and Brooke told Ed about the miscarriage, but that courage was now gone. Shoulders slumped, he stood in front of his boss looking small, almost like Noah, but even more vulnerable.

She put her reading glasses down and approached him slowly, first putting a hand on his shoulder and then hugging him tightly. "I am so sorry," she murmured before pulling away and stepping back to lean against the edge of her desk. His face was blotchy and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Really tough to know where to go from here," he mumbled.

"One day at a time," Olivia advised.

"Yeah." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

Once again, Olivia put a hand on her shoulder, "Carisi?"

"I don't know what to do, ya know?" He backed away and began pacing. "I don't know what to say. I don't know where we go from here. I don't know if Brooke wants me to be around more or less or go back to the way we were before all this happened."

"Nobody knows the right thing to do or say when these things happen," Olivia said, "And there's no quick fix. That's why it's called a healing _process_."

"I'm worried that Brooke's gonna bottle everything up and not talk to me, and—"

"End up pushing you away?"

"Yeah."

"I know all about that, Sonny," Olivia said softly, "Because that's something I would've done at her age…well…it's something I would've done three years ago. And I get it…I get how difficult this is for you because it was difficult for Ed, almost impossible for him, because he had to figure out how to prevent me from pushing him away without being overbearing. And that's a fine line to walk."

"That's exactly my problem."

"And that's exactly why you need to take this one day at a time. Now isn't the time for big picture."

He went to the couch, sat down, and buried his face in his hands. Olivia went back to her chair and started perusing the files Rollins left on her desk, planning to allow Carisi to sit there for as long as he needed.

…..

"I want Mexican," Sarah announced, "Like, right now, I _need_ guac."

Not interested in making any decisions, Brooke agreed. "There's a Dos Caminos down the block."

"Then down the block we shall go."

They were early and the restaurant was nearly empty, so they had their choice of seats. Sarah held Brooke's wrist, led her to a corner spot at the bar, and ordered a margarita.

"Are you drinking, Brookey?"

"I guess." She managed a polite smile, "I'll have a Dos Equis and a shot of tequila."

"Any tequila in particular?" The bartender asked.

"Patron silver. No salt. Extra lime."

"And chips and guac when you get a chance," Sarah added urgently. "I'm _so_ hungry."

"I haven't had much of an appetite," Brooke said mournfully.

Sarah leaned over and gave her a little side hug. "It'll be okay, Brookey."

"I know," Brooke gulped down the shot and chased it with a sip of beer.

As they finished their first drinks and picked at the appetizer, the lunchtime crowd provided some distraction and welcome background noise. Sarah ordered another round of drinks and then another, and, by the time she sipped her fourth margarita, she finally had enough courage to ask Brooke about the future.

"Are you still gonna get married?"

Brooke, too, was feeling the effects of the alcohol, so her response was less caustic than it would have been had she been sober. Additionally, Sarah's question oozed genuine concern and her eyes, though slightly glassy, were wide with sisterly curiosity.

"Of course we're getting married." She sounded much more like she was trying to convince herself rather than answer Sarah's question honestly. "That's still…almost three months away. And maybe all of it will be good for us, help us move on."

"I guess my question was, do you still _want_ to get married?"

"I wanted to get married when I said yes. We were engaged before…before all this. We didn't plan this, Sare. It was unexpected and…" tears pooled on Brooke's lashes, "and just when I was starting to get excited…it ended."

Sarah waved the bartender over and ordered two more tequila shots.

"You'll have more chances," Sarah said, squeezing the lime into her shot and accidentally shooting some juice in Brooke's direction. "Oops. Sorry."

"That's what…that's what the doctor told us…afterward…but it's like a fog, I don't remember most of it, most of the statistics, just that he said it was more common than anyone thinks and there was no reason to think another pregnancy was out of the question." Brooke dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. "But…the thing is...I'm going to be _terrified_ if there is a next time. Like, psychologically induce another miscarriage because I'm so freaked out."

"Brookey don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly, Sarah. This is _real_. I had a," Brooke lowered her voice, "fucking human life inside of me and now it's gone and I'm never going to forget it."

Sarah put a hand on Brooke's arm, "You need to see someone. Or go to a support group. Because surely there are women who have been in your position before. Probably a hundred million zillion of them."

Brooke groaned, wordlessly conceding her sister had made a cogent point.

"Ask Livvie."

"I don't want to bother her with anymore of this."

"Now you're being silly for real," Sarah retorted, scrunching up her nose and her forehead. "When has Livvie ever made us feel like we're _bothering_ her?" Sarah asked rhetorically, "Perhaps you're confusing her with Angela."

"Should I tell mom?"

"I'm surprised you didn't tell her you were pregnant."

"I haven't spoken to her since…since last spring…at Aidan's graduation."

" _Graduation_ ," Sarah scoffed, "You don't _graduate_ from eighth grade."

Brooke wasn't about to argue semantics, "Whatever…the point is, I didn't tell her. It was in two stages. Immediate family first. Then everyone else. We never got to the _everyone else_." She groaned again and took a long swig of her beer which she no longer bothered pouring into a glass. "Thank God we didn't say anything to Noah. That would've been hard to explain."

"Noey understands more than you give him credit for," Sarah thought of her little brother who was probably compliantly sitting at his table at school, "He has this…empathy…it's weird…he'll look at me and say, 'Sare Bear, you sad?' Or, 'Sare Bear, what's wrong?' and I just want to faint because he's so…what's the word? Oh, _precocious_ when it comes to feelings. And also, he's fucking smart."

"Still," Brooke replied, "I would not have wanted to try and have that conversation."

"Well, you don't have to. No more of those conversations."

"There's still Sonny's family."

Sarah had forgotten about them. "Oh."

"Not exactly Thanksgiving chatter."

"So when are you going to tell them?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it. We almost didn't go to Liv and Dad's, but I had to do something normal."

"Is Sonny sad?"

"I assume so."

"You _assume_?"

Brooke sighed, "It's been very…quiet…at home."

"He's waiting for you to make the first move," Sarah suggested, "He doesn't want to fuck up and say the wrong thing."

Brooke chewed on a chip and pondered this idea. "That's probably exactly it. She waved the bartender over again, "Get my sister another drink…the drunker she is the wiser she gets."

Sarah took a sip, hiccupped, and giggled at the same time, dribbling a bit of margarita onto her pink cable knit sweater and doing nothing to conceal the blunder or the spot. "Oh Brookey," she said, raising her almost-empty glass, "The same could be said for you."

…

 **#Tuckson**

 **Miss the kiddos? They'll be back soon!**


	40. Chapter 40

**Forty.**

Tucker's most recent assignment required interviewing a sitting judge so he found himself waiting for the elevator on a familiar floor of the courthouse when he heard someone call his name. He spun around on his heel and greeted ADA Rafael Barba with a tight-lipped half-smile, the friendliest expression he had for people who were neither his family nor close friends. The relationship between the two men was cordial, but Ed still hung onto some residual resentment from the past. Nevertheless, he gave Barba a hearty handshake and made small talk as they waited for the elevator and then descended to the lobby.

"Big plans for Thanksgiving?" Barba asked.

"Not really. We'll go to my mother's this year and see the family."

"I'm sure everyone will want to see Maggie and Wyatt."

"You're right about that. We won't see 'em for the entire time we're there I'm sure."

"I saw the new photos in Liv's office. They're getting big. Look active."

Tucker couldn't help but beam with pride. "Liv says it's too early, but they look like they wanna crawl any day now."

"That should be fun," Barba joked.

"No kidding."

They parted in the lobby. Ed checked his watch and debated his next move. Mid-afternoon. Nobody was expecting him anywhere, but he probably should go back to the office for at least another hour and wrap up this part of the report. Then again, he had the week to complete the entire investigation, and writing a two-page summary of judicial doublespeak was not going to be time consuming. Outside on the courthouse steps, still undecided, he paused, shoved his hands in his pockets, and looked out over Foley Square, his features steeled against the wicked November wind.

He wanted to see Olivia.

At the risk of being in the way and, perhaps, even stifling her, he decided to drop in at the precinct.

….

Sarah and Brooke, bleary eyed and saturated with alcohol, meandered onto the Chelsea sidewalk and wandered in and out of a few shops before Sarah declared the mission utterly pointless and dragged Brooke into another bar, this one significantly more dingy and rundown than the restaurant.

"One more," she said, giggling at Brooke's reluctance and tugging her through the heavy door and into the dimly lit space. Pleased with the lighting, she murmured her familiar, "thank gawwwd," and chose two seats at end furthest from the door.

"This looks like a place to hide," Brooke remarked.

When their drinks came, Sarah toasted "to hiding" and grimaced at her first sip.

"You're not gonna puke, are you?" Brooke asked warily.

"Of course not," Sarah snapped, "I hate gin."

"Why'd you order it?"

"I have no fucking clue," she slurred. "Hillary drinks them and sometimes it's easier to just say, _make that two_!"

Sarah's explanation was overly cheerful and Brooke fell into a brief fit of laughter.

"What?"

"I don't know," Brooke replied breathlessly, "You're funny sometimes."

"So I've heard." An incoming call caught Sarah's attention. She swallowed and shook her head back and forth before picking up. "Hey Daddy!"

Brooke listened to her end of the conversation, amazed how sober Sarah was was able to sound.

"Yeah…sure…no problem…okay, Noah, okay, after school until four, and the twinnies whenever…okay, okay, love ya!" She ended the call and hiccupped. "That was Daddy."

"I heard."

"He's trying to get Livvie out of the office early and I'm getting the kids."

"You're…we're…a little… _drunk_!"

"We have a couple hours to sober up!"

Brooke signaled for the check and rubbed her temples. "I need a nap."

"Me too." Sarah's eyes widened, "Hey, listen, are you okay with this? Getting the kids…being around the babies?"

Brooke screwed up her face. "What am I going to do? Avoid Maggie and Wyatt and Noah forever?"

"You didn't answer the question."

"I'm okay with it," Brooke replied, "And I'm even better getting them, just the two of us, so a million people aren't staring at me waiting to see I how I react to kids."

"Cheers to that," Sarah tilted her nearly empty glass and started to order another one, "Oh, fuck, never mind…duh…sober up…sober up…sober up." She took another look at the time. "Two hours. No problem."

…

The Lieutenant's office was vacant when Tucker arrived, so he took a seat on the sofa and waited patiently. Instead of randomly swiping at his phone he simply sat there and soaked up his surroundings. He'd been in this office dozens of times, but only a handful as Olivia's husband and that connection, knowing he was hers, was emboldening. The photos of their family only bolstered his confident good mood. Unlike at home, her office pictures weren't rotated regularly, so many of the images dated back to earlier times—Paris, Noah's birthday parties, their wedding, the twins' first weeks—and Tucker was enjoying the trip down memory lane when Olivia briskly walked in, initially unaware of his presence.

She did a double take and gasped, "Ed!"

He broke into a too-wide grin.

"What?" She looked around suspiciously. His expression was overly enthusiastic; even though he hadn't mentioned stopping by, his visit wasn't exactly a surprise.

"Know what I just thought about?"

"No," she replied, drawing out the last sound.

"When I came here and told ya I told One PP you registered for the Lieutenant's exam."

"I remember," She replied whimsically then quipped, "You sure went to great lengths to try to sleep with me."

"I wasn't trying to sleep with ya then," he protested, a hint of sass in his voice, "I was just tryin' to be nice."

"Uh- _huuuuuh_." She pushed the door closed and stood in front of him, arms akimbo, head cocked to the side, and murmured, " _Tryin' to be nice_."

"I _was_ ," he insisted, "And…if that…led to sex down the road…then…"

" _Thennn_?"

"It'd be an added bonus," he said with a shrug.

She stepped closer and touched a fingertip to his nose, "Pretty nice bonus."

"Yeah it was. Still is," He took her hands and kissed a few knuckles. "Mmmm, these _hands_. I love your hands." Olivia laughed. He closed his eyes and brought her fingertips to his face.

"Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking about your hands."

"Honey—"

"—and the first time…you _touched_ me."

"The first time I touched you?"

"Mmmhmm. We were havin' a drink and I said somethin, I don't remember what, but it reminded you of another story and you _grabbed my arm_ when ya started telling it."

"Oh, I thought you meant another type of _touching_."

" _Lieutenant_ ," he intoned, feigning shock, "Your mind…is just this side of in the gutter."

She leaned down, kissed him, and whispered, "My apologies."

Ed moaned when she kissed him again, "Any chance I get convince ya to get outta here? Have a drink with me?"

"I think I can do that."

"Sarah and Brooke are getting the kids."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Brooke?"

"Yeah."

"She's feeling…up to that?"

"I didn't exactly talk to her," Ed replied, tugging Olivia back toward him for another kiss, "But she's fine, Liv. Sarah's takin' care of her."

"Okay," Olivia whispered, hesitantly agreeing to his reasoning. "But let's not be long."

"No," he said. "Couple of drinks. We'll bring dinner home. And then…later tonight…"

"More of your _added bonus_?" She interjected suggestively.

With a sly smirk he replied, "You read my mind."

…..

"So that's the last of it," Sonny said as he and Brooke settled in for the drive back to Manhattan. They visited Sonny's family Sunday afternoon and broke the news to his mother and sisters. Since nobody had known she was pregnant in the first place, it came as a double blow, and the palpable tension never dissolved. They had planned to stay for dinner, but changed course and left for home early.

"That was awful," Brooke remarked. "I don't know what I expected, but…that was awful." She flipped the visor down and inspected her face. Shortly after they got into the car she burst into tears and urged Sonny to drive rather than comfort her through the breakdown. She didn't want the Carisi women peeking out of the windows at them.

"I'm so sorry," Sonny moaned, "They…my sisters…they're used to talking about everything with everyone…they'll get over it."

"Thanksgiving should be fun," Brooke muttered sarcastically.

"Let's skip it."

"What?"

"Let's just go to Caroline's. I'm on duty anyway…I'll just say I need to stay in Manhattan."

"She's in the Bronx."

"I'll leave that part out."

They crossed the Verrazano Bridge into Brooklyn. The late afternoon sun was dipping into the horizon, and Brooke started to mentally prepare herself for work the next day. With the holiday, the schools had a short week, and she was looking forward to mentally decompressing over the long weekend. Other than Thanksgiving dinner, she and Sonny had no plans.

Sonny was gripping the steering wheel tightly with both hands, far from his typical laid-back driving posture. Traffic was fluid and the roads were dry, but he had the appearance of someone fretting over snarled lanes and icy pavement.

"Son, you okay?"

"Yeah."

"What are you thinking about?"

"The wedding shower."

"The wedding shower?"

He grimaced, "Well, uh…you still…we're still having the wedding, right?"

Stunned, Brooke replied, "Of course."

He breathed a sigh of relief, "Well, that's a load off."

Brooke wanted to gently admonish him for subscribing to the worst-case scenario, but she had been wondering the same thing and to hear him acknowledge his doubt removed all of hers. She put a hand on his leg and softly said, "I want to marry you even more now."

His cheeks flushed. "Let's just go do it now."

"Right."

"I'm serious. Well, not now, it's Sunday, but, well, I bet I could find a judge."

"I can't believe I'm even considering this."

"I'm tired of thinking."

"Me too," Brooke murmured. "Me too."

…

Olivia turned over, slowly waking up. She savored being able to wake up lazily, but she had sensed Ed's absence even in semi-consciousness. There was a chill under the covers and an unsettling void where his body was supposed to be. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, listening for movement in the other rooms. The apartment was oddly silent.

It was early, the sun was just rising, and Ed stood in front of the window with his coffee in hand, staring placidly at the Manhattan morning.

"Hey you," she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pressed her face into the center of his upper back, breathing in the scent of their fabric softener and feeling secure against his strong frame. She would never tire of this—the feel of his body and the security and love it represented.

"Morning," he leaned back into her, "I wanted to let you sleep until noon."

"Ha! I slept long enough."

"Lemme get you coffee." He turned around and kissed her, "Unless you want tea?"

"Coffee's good. Thank you."

"My pleasure."

They sat together in the armchair facing the window. Kisses and cuddles occasionally interrupted their idle chatter. Ed played with her hair and kept his other hand on her thigh, occasionally squeezing her a little too aggressively so she would shiver and chuckle and gasp an admonishing, " _Ed_!"

In response he would make his eyelids extra droopy and innocently reply, " _What_?"

"I hope you don't get called away today," he eventually admitted. Caroline was serving dinner early, so the chances of Olivia missing the meal were low. Nevertheless, the job was unpredictable.

"Me too," she replied, "But everyone has family things going on. Fin hardly ever sees his grandson. Rollins' mom is here. They've all been so great and flexible…I owe them one."

"I know. I'm just selfish is all."

Olivia grinned and sat up a little so she could kiss him. "But…right now…this is nice."

"Sure is. Glad we kept Noah up late."

"Felt a bit unethical."

"No," he said with a smirk, "Nothin's unethical when I want my son to sleep in a little so I can sit here with my wife and watch the sun rise."

Olivia nearly dropped her mug when he kissed her this time. It came close to knocking the wind out of her. After, Ed simply sat back, smirking uncontrollably. "Breathe, Liv."

She exaggerated taking a couple of deep breaths and resumed her place against his shoulder, legs slung over his lap. "Okay… _whew_ , Captain, well, let's change the subject."

"I like this subject."

"I do too, but… _kids_."

"Noah's asleep for at least another hour and the twins are in their cribs. They can't go _anywhere_." Ed protested, but he knew their alone time was about over. Maggie and Wyatt would be awake soon. Wyatt would be content for a little while, but Maggie typically began shrieking for someone to pick her up as soon as she opened her eyes.

"I'm glad Brooke and Sonny decided to come," Olivia said, "They've been keeping to themselves ever since…telling us…Carisi acts like there's nothing wrong when he's at work, but, of course, to everyone else, there isn't."

"Prolly a good sign they're goin through this alone but together? I'd maybe be more worried if they weren't…if they were each off on their own trying to process all of it."

"Good point…hey, let's make sure to get a nice picture today. Carisi will have his good camera."

"With our turkeys?"

"Yes, and everyone else." Olivia chuckled at Ed's question. When she brought home the twins' Thanksgiving outfits and a similarly-designed sweater for Noah, Ed laughed sweetly and told her how much he loved seeing her doing things like this. Wyatt's brown corduroy overalls and Maggie's smock dress had the same colorful turkey design embroidered on the chest. Noah's cream-colored sweater also featured a turkey but it was surprisingly not as garish as Ed had pictured when Olivia described what she planned to buy. It was done in tasteful earth-toned shades and looked great over his hunter green collared shirt.

"Sounds like baby girl is up," Olivia hoisted herself from the chair using one of Ed's thighs for support and pressed down with a little more force than was necessary. He grunted in response and she gave him a flirty wink.

He smiled, satisfied, when he heard her coo "g'morning, sweet girl."

Olivia had everything she'd ever wanted, and nothing had ever made him happier.

….

"My babies!" Caroline hovered over Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah as soon as they arrived at her Riverdale home. Noah sweetly reminded her that he was not a baby, but the silver-haired woman retorted that he would always be her grandbaby even when he was old and wrinkly. Hearing this, Noah giggled, relented, and helped peel back the layers of blankets covering the twins. Outerwear removed, Caroline shooed Ed and Olivia into the kitchen. "We're going to have our little Thanksmas first," she explained, dragging three wrapped presents from the space in between her recliner and the sofa.

"Need anything from the basement?" Ed asked facetiously.

Olivia swatted him across the back pockets of his khakis.

Oblivious, Caroline replied, "No, no, everything's good, just…stir the gravy or something."

"Yes ma'am."

A few minutes later Noah ran into the kitchen proudly showing off his present—a thick, hardcover book entitled _Railroads Across America: An Illustrated Dictionary_. "It's a BIG KID BOOK!" He announced. "I read it and learn all about TRAINS!"

"That's some book," Ed remarked, taking it from Noah and evaluating its weight, "Bout as heavy as you are, bud."

"That's such a nice gift!" Olivia added. "Did you say thank-you?"

"Uh-huh!"

"What'd Maggie and Wyatt get?"

"Maggie have a bear that LIGHTS UP! Wyatt get a lion that ROAR!"

"Grandma Caroline sure knows how to pick out good presents," Olivia said.

Noah nodded in concurrence before getting serious. "Gamma say don't let da gravy burn up! And…and…" He ran back into the living room to clarify the next set of directions.

"I said STOP NECKING and don't let the gravy burn," Caroline called on her way to the kitchen. She picked up a spoon and muttered, "Can't leave you two alone for one minute. I'll have two more grandkids by the Fourth of July."

Ed grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and kissed the side of Olivia's head. "I'm going to supervise in the living room. Which wine ya want me to open?"

"The Merlot," Olivia replied.

Ed left the women in the kitchen, uncorked the wine and left it on the table, and found Noah on the carpeted floor "reading" to the twins. He lingered in the archway, listening.

"And THIS! This da giant caboose that come after all the train cars…this the steam…this, this guy, he take the tickets, 'cause ya need tickets to ride, babies! This train, this one right here, carry STUFF! This one carry people…it sound like this, CHOO CHOO!"

Noah's "Choo-choo" sound made Wyatt laugh and he repeated it for his baby brother until Wyatt was fully consumed with gurgly giggles and Maggie joined in with her happy squeals. Encouraged, Noah put the book aside and alternated tickling their bellies stopping only when he heard the front door open.

"Sare Bear!"

"Noey Boey!" It had been a mere two days since they'd last seen each other, but Sarah and Noah embraced like they hadn't seen each other in years.

Standing slightly behind Sarah was Hillary who held her hand out, expecting a handshake from Ed, but he hugged her instead.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Ladies."

"C'mon!" Noah said, "I show you my new BOOK!"

"Omigod, omigod, omigod," Sarah gushed as she allowed Noah to drag her into the living room, "LIVVIE! THESE TURKEY OUTFITS ARE FREAKING ADORABLE!"

"Thanks!" Olivia called from the kitchen. "Your Dad was a little skeptical about them."

"Well, Daddy has no sense of holiday style," Sarah said in a baby-talk voice, kneeling in front of the twins. She practically mauled each one with kisses, holding their heads and tilting their bodies back. "Mmmmmmmwah! You two are _so yummy_!"

Hillary wanted to do exactly what Sarah was doing, but she hesitated and looked on, still partially in the foyer, until Noah went over and grabbed her hand, "C'mon, Hill! Babies wanna see ya!"

Hillary sat down and scooped Wyatt into her lap while Sarah took selfies with Maggie. Noah picked up his book and continued his narration of _Railroads Across America_.

"Baby switch!" Sarah gave Maggie to Hillary and took Wyatt, flinging herself backwards in an exaggerated manner. She proceeded to "fly" Wyatt. "You're like a little blimp!"

" _Sarah_! That's not nice!" Hillary's reprimand sounded a lot like one of Brooke's.

"He's a cute little blimp," Sarah lowered Wyatt and gave him Eskimo kisses; his chubby cheeks were a bright, rosy red and they stood out against his skin which was still identical to his mother's olive tone.

Undeterred, by the activity, Noah flipped the pages of the new train book, happily narrating details about locomotives, pausing periodically to flip the heavy tome around and show pictures he found interesting.

"Noey, maybe for Christmas we'll ride on the train to another city!" Sarah suggested. "Would ya like that?"

"Uh-huh!"

"I'll make it happen. Do you think Mommy and Daddy will let you go away with me for a weekend?"

"Yep!"

"Do you think Maggs and Wyatt will miss you?"

"Oh yes," Noah replied seriously but then brightened, "But we bring 'em a present!"

Sarah grinned and leaned back, flying Wyatt again.

"Good deal."

…..

When Caroline reluctantly served the turkey (she argued the Thanksgiving meal was an American invention and not compatible with her Irish palate) and the side dishes (some Irish, others Thanksgiving traditional), Brooke and Carisi had joined the party and, from the outset, seemed ensconced in their own little world until Sonny stopped everyone from serving themselves and proposed a toast.

"To family and to being there for each other," he said in a shaky voice, holding up his glass, "It's been a tough few weeks, but Brooke and I are so thankful that we have all of you in our lives. I… _we_ …are more optimistic than ever about the future. A toast…to always being thankful we have a tomorrow."

For the first time in a while, Olivia noticed genuine smiles on their faces and she squeezed Ed's hand.

Soon the cluttered dining room filled with eating sounds—silverware against plates, compliments to the chef, and Caroline coaching Maggie and Wyatt through tastes of squash and mashed potatoes. Experts at eating baby food now, the almost seventh-month-old twins reacted positively to the new flavors which Sarah classified as "mostly butter."

"Wyatt, stop grabbin' the spoon!" Noah said through giggles. "Maggs, you good! Wyatt always wantsta get the spoon!"

"Noey, you are setting a very good example," Sarah said while dabbing at Maggie's mouth with her bib, "You are the neatest eater and smartest child and the best brother."

"Thanks!" Noah politely replied, relishing the compliment, but also concentrating on mopping up gravy with a piece of his dinner roll.

"He's had a lot of practice with you," Brooke added, causing everyone to look up from their plates in surprise since she'd been so quiet, "Steak dinners, business lunches."

"Oh yes! Grandma, Noey is my assistant as you know. After every adventure we have dinner, right Noey?"

"Right! And a Shirley Temple!"

Ed stared sternly at Sarah but tenderly rubbed Olivia's shoulders, "Great. Not even five years old and learning to celebrate with drinks."

In response to the grumbling, Olivia patted Ed's knee and kissed his cheek before addressing her son. "Noah," she said, "Do you tell your teachers at school about all your… _adventures_ …with Sarah?"

"Sometimes," he replied, "But at school we _play_. With Sare Bear I workin."

From her spot at the head of the table, Caroline stopped shoveling food at the twins and burst into laughter. "Dear lord," she said, wiping tears from her eyes, "Can you imagine those poor teachers? How can Noah take preschool seriously when he's also working part time in high finance on Wall Street?"

"You're nice and polite to your teachers, aren't ya, bud? Do everything they ask ya to?" Ed asked. He had never thought about the possibility that Noah may not take preschool as seriously as he should.

"Uh-huh! I _always_ have smileys," Noah replied, referring to his citizenship calendar which he transported home daily.

"He's right," Olivia smoothed Noah's hair, "Always smileys."

"Good for you Noah. You keep that up," Carisi encouraged.

Noah shrugged and said matter-of-factly, "But I know all the stuff."

"Livvie, he's _gifted_ ," Sarah implored.

Brooke agreed, "I think he is, Olivia. You should have him tested before Kindergarten."

"He's already had so many tests…just to get in to preschool."

Ed's arm was still draped across Olivia's shoulders, "But we want him in the right classes."

"We do."

"Noah," Caroline said, "I think you should forget about school and come stay with me every day."

"Gamma Care-line, your house isn't school! I haveta go to school where da teachers are!"

"Well aren't we compliant. And particular."

The dinner conversation continued to center around school and Noah until it was time for dessert and Caroline presented three different types of pie, drawing an annoyed glare from Ed when she allowed Noah to scoop whipped cream on his portion without assistance and without limits. With Noah taken care of she began feeding the twins tiny bits of the dessert. Maggie didn't warm up to the new food as quickly as Wyatt who fussed whenever Caroline took the spoon away from his mouth.

"Maggie's watching her figure," Sarah said. She now had Maggie in her lap and the baby looked around the table contentedly, focusing mostly on Ed and Olivia who smiled and made faces at her. At one point she reached out with both arms, tiny fingers splayed in the air, wanting to be passed to her parents, but Sarah tightened her grip around her middle. "Stay with me a little longer, Maggie May," she cooed, kissing her head. Maggie leaned back and directed frustrated squeals at Sarah. " _Sasssss_ -y!" Sarah exclaimed, "I love this kid. Okay, okay, go to Mommy."

Hillary, seated between Brooke and Sarah, seemed overwhelmed by the chatter and the activity. Sensing this, Olivia asked her about her family and whether or not she would be traveling for the holidays.

"I'm going back for a week over Christmas. It'll be good to see everyone. They don't…they don't travel much. And my parents were intimidated by Nashville; I can't imagine them in the city."

"They've never been here?" Carisi asked.

"They have. A while ago. When, according to my Dad, they were young and adventurous."

"The city is for the young," Caroline said, "And for Eddie and Olivia who are apparently aging backwards."

"Like Benjamin Button!" Sarah exclaimed.

"That's 'literation!" Noah pointed out. " _Buh_ -enjamin. _Buh_ -tton."

Brooke smiled proudly, "That's right, No!"

Noah beamed and turned to Maggie who was now pawing at her big brother. Noah grabbed her hand. "When you start talkin' Maggs, we learn all about 'literation!" She batted her blue eyes at him and smiled when Noah growled and pretended to eat her hand. Ed and Olivia watched the sibling interaction with wide, proud smiles.

After the table was cleared and dishes done, the group played cards and a few rounds of Yahtzee. A little while later, Carisi departed for the precinct. Olivia almost went along with him, but he insisted she stay. He and Savage could handle tonight and would call if something major broke. Sarah, Brooke, and Hillary hitched a ride with Carisi; they planned to watch the late NFL game at a sports bar.

"Who am I cheering for?" Sarah asked. She wasn't clueless about sports, but she didn't have an affinity for any one team in particular.

"Titans," Hillary said.

"Unless they're playing the Jets," Ed interjected.

"Girls, you coming?" Sonny had already said his goodbyes and thank-yous and exited once but came back in when he realized the women weren't following him. Sarah was not yet finished doting on the twins and Noah; her farewells were almost always a production.

"Kickoff's at seven," Hillary said.

"Okay, okay, I'm gone. Love you! Love you!" Sarah blew kisses and Noah, adorably pretended to catch them.

Caroline stood on the front stoop and watched Carisi drive away. She returned to the living room and swiped Maggie from a bewildered Ed. "Well, Sonny and Brooke seem just fine. Looks like Sare Bear's just fine with Hillary. All is well." She took her spot in the recliner and rocked Maggie.

Ed screwed up his face. "Just fine with Hillary?"

"Yeah, Eddie, _hellll-lo_!"

Olivia laughed, understanding but dubious about Caroline's conclusion.

Noticing her son needed further explanation, she continued, "The first time I met Olivia I knew she was your soul mate. I _sense_ these things. It is my innate, natural ability."

"What are you talkin' about Ma?" Ed asked incredulously, "You think Sarah and Hillary…are… _together_?"

"Mark my words," Caroline replied confidently.

"Liv?"

"I…I really don't know."

"I, uh, well…whatever makes her happy, I guess." He tilted his head into Olivia's kiss, his lips curled into a cautious smile, still a little befuddled by his mother's prediction, "But…I'll let you have that conversation with her first."

…..

 **This story could possibly be coming to a close soon...fair warning.**

 **#Tuckson**


	41. Chapter 41

**Forty-One.**

It had been a long time since Ed Tucker attended a National Football League game, and both the expansiveness of MetLife Stadium and the innumerable visual and auditory stimuli momentarily incapacitated him. He paused on the ramp to take it all in causing Olivia and Noah to bump into him.

"Daddy, gotta keep walkin!"

Ed picked up his son, "Yeah bud, sorry. But lookit this! Amazing, huh?"

"Amazing!" Noah repeated, sounding equally awestruck.

Olivia hitched a thumb between Ed's belt and the waistband of his jeans. He felt her fuzzy beanie graze his chin as she leaned against him. One of Tucker's colleagues at the District Attorney's office gifted him with Jets tickets as an early Christmas present. Initially, Olivia suggested he take Sonny and Noah but Ed shook off the suggestion. He wanted to share the experience of Noah's first NFL game with his wife. In preparation he purchased team gear for the three of them, and when Olivia pulled on her black beanie before they left the apartment, he lamented not buying her one with a Jets logo.

"I'm sure they'll have them at the stadium," he remarked with certainty.

Olivia offered a placating nod. They had Sarah take a photo of them on the sofa before leaving the twins with her and Brooke for the afternoon. Olivia immediately set the picture as her lock screen—the three of them were bulky considering they wore several layers under their new hoodies and huddled together on the couch with gleeful smiles they were the most perfect three-headed green blob.

"Now don't you worry about these babies," Sarah said, ushering them out, "Brookey and I will take good care of them."

"No taking them to the bar," Ed instructed, only partially joking.

"Damn," Sarah joked, "Brooke, now we have to rework the whole day."

Olivia stroked Wyatt's head, "Bye, baby boy. Be good for the sisters." She gave equal attention to Maggie, cooing her usual, "sweet girl." Both infants smiled at their parents and Noah as Brooke and Sarah waved their little arms.

Now at the stadium, Ed finished surveying the surroundings and the three of them found their seats. After they got settled, he went to get the first round of drinks and snacks. When he returned, Noah was excitedly watching the teams warm-up on the field.

"Look, Daddy! They throwin the tighspiral!" Noah jabbed his arm in the direction of the field and bounced on his knees.

Ed handed the food to Olivia and put the drinks in the cupholders. "You wanna take a closer look before the game starts?"

"Uh-huh!"

He looked to Olivia for approval. She smiled, "Go ahead, I'll be right here." Her heart swelled as she watched Ed lift Noah so he was sitting on the railing and, holding him closely, point out different details about the warm-up routine. There were still several minutes before the official kickoff, so the seats weren't completely filled. During a lull in the pregame music, Olivia faintly heard someone shout "Tucker" and saw Ed lean over the railing to talk to someone on the sideline below. A few minutes later, he rushed back to Olivia with Noah in his arms.

"Hey, I know one of the security guys. He wants us to come down on the field."

"Oh, wow, okay," Olivia looked helplessly at the untouched food.

"C'mon."

"I can stay—"

"No, you're coming."

"C'mon, Mommy! We goin' down THERE!"

Ed reached for her hand, "Let's go. We may get to meet some players."

Noah moved around excitedly so much so that Ed had to adjust his grip on the boy. "We gonna see the tighspiral!"

"Okay, sweet boy."

On the field, Ed introduced Olivia to his former colleague, a beefy, ex-NYPD Sergeant who looked every bit the stereotypical security guard. With wide eyes he shook Olivia's outstretched hand. Ed knew what the man was thinking—Olivia was absolutely stunning in her hat, glossed lips, and wind-kissed cheeks—and he kept his arm possessively around her waist. Noah was now perched on his shoulders.

"Liv, this is Charlie McGreevey, formerly of the second precinct."

"Nice to meet you, Lieutenant," Charlie said politely.

"Call me Olivia," she replied with a smile, "Thank you so much for bringing us down here."

"No problem. Dak loves to see the kids," Charlie jostled Noah's leg, "Wanna meet the QB, kiddo?"

"He's gonna wanna see us before the game?" Ed eyed the stocky starting quarterback warming up a few yards away. The young man, coming off a nasty knee injury, had been traded to New York from Dallas last year and quickly won the hearts of Jets fans. However, Ed didn't think a star player would want to mingle with fans before game time.

"Sure," Charlie replied confidently, "They're about to head back into the locker room. He'll say hi."

Sure enough, after throwing his final warm-up pass, Dak Prescott jogged over to Charlie with a giant, friendly smile on his face.

"Hey," the quarterback said casually, as if he, Charlie, and the Tuckers were old friends meeting on the street.

"Dak! These two," he wiggled his fingers at Ed and Olivia, "Are two of NYPD's finest officers and this is their boy Noah."

Dak shook the adults' hands and first-bumped Noah. "Hey there little man! Why dontcha toss a few passes with me?"

Ed put Noah on the turf. Olivia snapped photos as the six-foot-two athlete stood two feet away from Noah and gently tossed him the regulation-sized football. Noah heaved it back to him.

"Whoa!" Dak exclaimed, "You gotta good arm on ya!"

"It the tighspiral!" Noah exclaimed.

"Tight spiral, huh?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well, I'm gonna throw a couple touchdowns with a spiral just like that. Hey, Charlie, you have a pen?" Charlie patted his pockets and produced a Sharpie. Dak scribbled a message on the football and signed his name. "Here ya go, Noah," he said, crouching and handing the ball to the five-year-old, "It was nice meetin' you! I gotta go finish getting ready to play now. Cheer loud, okay?"

"Kay! Go Jets!"

Ed and Olivia exchanged surprised glances; they weren't sure how Noah came up with that phrase at such an appropriate moment.

Dak had started jogging away but he turned and flashed his charming smile once more. "Go Jets!"

Ed shook Charlie's hand, "Man, thanks so much, that was…that was unreal."

"No problem. Really good to see ya, Tucker. And…nice to meet you, Lieutenant." Charlie pressed his meaty fist against Noah's cheek. "And you, big guy, I'm sure I'll be seein ya on this field someday!"

"Yep!"

"Thank you again," Olivia said, overwhelmed with gratitude. "Such a great day."

"Still wanna stay for the game?" Ed joked.

She shoved him playfully, "I think so. We have to cheer for the Jets to win, right, Noah?"

"That's right! Go Jets!"

…

Sarah fumbled around with the remote control. She frowned at it, cursed at it, and finally tossed it to Brooke who successfully navigated to the game. They set up the twins' play mat in front of the television and relaxed on the couch while the babies played with their pile of toys. Every once in a while Sarah flopped down next to them and tried to get one of them to start crawling. They could both scoot forward a couple inches at a time, but once Sarah propped them on their hands and knees, both rocked back and forth before flopping back to their bellies. Wyatt reacted to this trial-and-error with his typical good nature. He would lift his head and smile. Maggie, on the other hand, fussed, rolled over, flailed her arms, and didn't calm down until Sarah flipped her back over to try again.

"Their personalities are so different," Brooke observed.

Sarah answered, but in her baby talk voice. She was face to face with Maggie. "Maggie May is simply a perfectionist. She will not settle for anything less than excellence. Isn't that right sweetie cutie patootie? You look like me don't you baby girl?"

"I don't know," Brooke said, "She's changing."

"Her bone structure is Tucker. And her hair is lighter than Wyatt's."

Brooke craned her head to get a better look at Maggie. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Wyatt if he had darker eyes, would look exactly like Olivia."

"He really would," Sarah agreed, "Except he probably weighs as much as Livvie right now. _Gawwwd_ he's fat."

"Well, we don't help," Brooke replied, "We fed him too much."

"He kept opening his mouth!"

"He wasn't supposed to get _two_ jars."

Sarah rolled over so she was almost completely under Wyatt. He played with her face. "These children get anything they want when they're with me. Isn't that right, handsome?"

"Bah!" Wyatt babbled as he smacked Sarah's nose.

Brooke laughed. "That's what you get for calling him fat."

Sarah rolled over again, sat up, kissed Wyatt, told him she forgave him, and sauntered around the living room. Even though she'd seen them many times, she examined and scrutinized each photograph. She brought Ed and Olivia's wedding photo over to the couch and plopped down next to Brooke, practically in her lap.

"Livvie's dress was so gorgeous."

"It was," Brooke said. "That was a good day."

"Um," Sarah inspected her fingernails, "Brookey?"

"Yes?"

"Why haven't we shopped for your dress? Or my dress? Or anything for that matter?"

Brooke fidgeted. "No reason."

Sarah punched her sister's shoulder and tracked her movements with her own, unwilling to let Brooke escape. " _Brooke_."

" _Sarah_."

"First you cancel the wedding shower, now you don't want to talk about the wedding…what the fuck? Did you and Sonny decide to postpone it? After…"

"The miscarriage?" Brooke finished for her. "Look, you don't have to do this. You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine."

"You're my sister!" Sarah protested, "I'll always worry about you! And I hope you'll always worry about me, well, you know what I mean. I've been through a marriage and a divorce, but not a pregnancy and a miscarriage…I don't know what's going through your head and you never talk about it."

Brooke took a deep breath and pressed her lips into an understanding smile. Sarah hadn't been this worked up in a while, and she did have a good point. "The therapist has helped. Sonny and I went together a couple of times and I've been going on a regular basis. I feel better. I really do."

"But you're not getting married?" Sarah cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. Brooke's face turned a deep shade of crimson. Sarah's eyes fell to Brooke's left hand. The engagement ring was still there.

"What. Is. Going. On?"

"We're fine," Brooke sighed. "We're…we're dealing with this on our own, okay? It's not…don't feel bad about that, alright? Just know everything's good."

The skepticism remained in Sarah's eyes. "Okay, Brookey. Whatever you say. But Maggie and I were planning to be co-maids-of-honor, so we really are going to need some details as soon as humanly possible."

…..

Noah was so exhausted from his big day he was dozing in Ed's arms after only a few pages of the first bedtime story. Ed stopped reading and rocked him for a while longer until he fell into a deeper sleep and more of his son's weight rested against his chest. Noah had hit another growth spurt and his newest pair of train pajamas were getting too short, coming to rest just above his ankles and not quite covering his entire wrist. He gripped a part of Ed's t-shirt and rubbed the material between his fingers until he was completely asleep. Maggie regularly made the same motion. Wyatt never really _fell_ asleep. He was either awake or completely out. With him, there was no in between.

"Okay, bud," Ed whispered into Noah's hair, "Let's getcha in bed."

Noah didn't stir while Ed managed to hold him with one arm and pull back his covers with the other. He kissed his head, covered him, made sure Bernie was nearby, and clicked on the nightlight on his way out.

Olivia was on the sofa. He came up behind her and kissed at her neck. "Whatcha doin?"

"Looking at the pictures from today."

"We definitely need to go to another game."

"It was so fun. I didn't think Noah would last the whole time, but he probably could've lasted through an overtime." Unlike most five-year-olds, Noah paid close attention for all four quarters and carefully tracked his new friend Dak on the field and on the sidelines.

"For sure." Ed rounded the sofa and sat beside her. He gently took her phone and placed it on the coffee table.

" _Hmph_ ," she said, cocking her eyebrow, "Taking my phone for the night, Captain Tucker?"

"Yes. C'mere." He kissed her slowly, tenderly, and with careful attention to detail. With one hand he played with her fingers, twirled her rings, and he buried the other in her hair. "I wanna make love to you," he whispered during a brief pause for breath. "It's been too long."

"It has," she rasped back, pushing herself forward assertively, trying to coax him into getting a little more aggressive. Their brief sexual hiatus was attributed to nothing more than life and work and collective fatigue at the ends of long days. They fell onto the cushions, content to remain there, kissing, exploring with their hands, heating up slowly before the eventual move to the bedroom.

"Mmmm, Ed, God, I love you."

"I love _you_." Ed grazed her neck with his teeth. "I can't get enough of you, Liv." His hands were under her shirt now, stroking her back, "It's been too long. I gotta get you outta these _clothes_."

Olivia found his mouth again and mumbled against his lips, "It hasn't been that long."

"I need you." Kiss. "Every." He gasped sharply; Olivia was at his neck and throat now. "Day."

"You're exaggerating."

"No I'm not." In one motion he sat them up, "C'mon. _Bed_."

"I'll meet you in there. Lemme get the lights."

"Uh-uh," Ed took her hand, "Leave 'em on. I can't wait."

…

 **#Tuckson**

 **#NewHope**

 **#Reinvigorated**


	42. Chapter 42

**Forty-two.**

A week before Christmas New York residents awoke to flurries. They fluttered lazily from the grayish sky and Noah stuck out his tongue and tried to catch a few flakes on his way to school. By the time Ed and Olivia returned, a mere two hours later, the flurries had given way to a relentless snow shower. Ed gallantly held open the heavy front door and they rushed in, eager to get temporary shelter from the weather. The storm wasn't supposed to hit this early.

Ed kept his hand on Olivia's back until they arrived in the Lower School's main office where a comely receptionist directed them to an adjacent conference room. Three unfamiliar faces and one familiar one, Noah's main teacher, sat facing them, awaiting their arrival with polite but not exactly welcoming smiles. Olivia thought about the teacher's assurance that this meeting was not to discuss a problem and wondered if she'd fallen for a lie.

The teacher spoke first. "Mr. and Mrs.—err, Captain—"

Ed held up a hand, "Mr. and Mrs. is good." He let that hand drift into Olivia's space and he expertly found her fingers on the first try without even a peripheral glance. He expected her to wiggle free of the hold, but she did the exact opposite and held his hand even as they took their seats.

The three others introduced themselves as administrators—a headmaster and two curriculum specialists, and they thanked the Tuckers for creating time in their busy schedules to come in so close to Christmas and they must have a million things to do, and…

Quickly growing weary of small talk, Olivia interrupted it and said, "You, ah," she brushed a section of hair away from her face and behind her hear, "You wanted to discuss Noah's test scores?"

One of the specialists nodded. "Math in particular."

"Right."

The second specialist elaborated. "If you're on board, we would like to have Noah go to a first grade classroom for math instruction starting second semester."

"First grade?" Olivia leaned forward, "He's…he's not even in Kindergarten."

Ed was equally concerned. "With six and seven-year-olds?" Judging by his tone, one would have thought the teachers had suggested Noah take classes with Rikers inmates.

The teacher picked up on their anxiety, "It would be forty minutes a day. Tops."

Olivia turned to Ed with wide, questioning eyes.

"Do we have time to think it over?" Ed asked.

"Of course," the Headmaster replied, "Take until after the New Year. We wanted to bring it up now so you had time to do just that. The other option would be for him to remain in his current class and for you to get him a tutor if you so choose."

"He's leaps and bounds ahead of the other students," the teacher added, "and he grasps new material almost immediately. He's also very…well…it is very apparent he spends a lot of time with adults outside of school." The teacher chose her words carefully, obviously not wanting to offend the parents of her star student.

"He does," Ed replied flatly.

"That's a good thing," the teacher said, "He's able to communicate well with everybody. He…he often talks about his baby brother and sister and…you also have two older daughters?"

Olivia smiled, more at ease now, "He is very conscientious about being the big brother to our twins—"

"Maggie and Wyatt?"

"That's right," Ed answered proudly.

"—it's a role that is very important to him," Olivia finished, "And he also spends a lot of time with his sisters."

"He very often talks about everyone in your family, particularly one of his older siblings who he…works with?"

Olivia caught a glimpse of Ed. He was actually smiling. She let him respond.

"Sarah," he said. "She's in finance and helps us out a lot with him. He's been to her office several times."

"Well, that certainly explains his affinity for charts and graphs."

Both Ed and Olivia blinked. "What?"

"He is very good at organizing and categorizing information." The curriculum specialist was speaking now and was well-versed about Noah's abilities. "He's able to look at data sets, find commonalities, and recognize patterns. Very advanced for five years old."

Ed and Olivia beamed.

"Wow," Olivia said, "Well, we'll get back to you. I want to think about the social aspect and we should probably talk it over with Noah."

"Sounds good," the curriculum specialist said.

Everyone rose and shook hands. The faculty members watched, intrigued, as the silver-haired man slipped his arm around his wife's back and whisper something in her ear. Whatever he said made her smile, and she gazed up at him appreciatively.

The headmaster quipped, "People don't usually act that way when they leave here."

…

Travel brochures lined the island at Sarah's apartment and Noah conscientiously paged through them and circled points of interests with a thick black Sharpie. He bit his bottom lip in concentration and left his after school snack untouched until he finished his "project."

Sarah checked into her office for a few hours earlier that morning, but left at noon when the office closed in preparation for their Christmas party. Sarah picked up Noah from school, picked up some junk food, and went back to her apartment where Sarah surprised Noah with the brochures and her plans to take him to Washington, D.C. for two nights after Christmas. To her surprise, Ed and Olivia had no problem with her taking him out of town, but there was still the possibility that Brooke and perhaps Sonny would join them.

"We goin on the train, Sare bear?" He asked, wide-eyed.

"We sure are, Noey!"

"To the cap-i-tal?"

"Yep! Of the United States of America!"

"Whas Manhattan then?"

"Manhattan is the best place in the whole world. Washington, D.C. is where the President lives...but we're not going to bother with him. We're going to see everything you circle! Look at all the cool museums…and they have a _spy_ museum!"

Noah's mouth formed into a near-perfect circle and he intoned, " _Oooooooo_!"

"So I'm going to get ready for my party. Do you want to work on the counter or in my room?"

"I work here."

Sarah popped back and forth between her room and the kitchen. She started drinking earlier that day at the office and was attempting to pace herself. She put her hair in rollers, finished her makeup, and came back to the kitchen.

"How do I look, Noey?"

He squinted at her and the pink and green tubes holding her hair in place. "Why your hair like that?"

Pretending to be crestfallen, she asked, "You don't like it?"

"Like it like Mommy's."

"Mommy has _brown_ hair."

"Like it falling _down_ like Mommy's." Noah touched Sarah's shoulder, "It go right here."

"Ahhh, you're gonna be a hair man, huh?" Noah looked at her, confused, "Never mind. You'll see, Noey, when I take it down it'll be cute and wavy."

Noah's hands flew to his hair. "Mine wavy, too?"

"Well, maybe if it were longer it would be. But…next time we have a date, we'll make it spiky."

"Oooo, yeah!"

"Now, I must choose a dress. Stay right there. You'll help me decide." Sarah quickly threw on a silver number with three quarter sleeves and a sweetheart neckline and pranced into the living room. She twirled once, twice, and then posed as if Noah were the paparazzi. "What do you think about this one, Noey?"

"Like it!"

"Okay. I'm going to change into another one."

Next was a red V-neck.

"Do you like this one?"

"It good."

"But you like the silver better?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, one more."

The third and final dress was a sleeveless black A-line belted around the middle with an oversized bow. The bottom flared out and was tinged with gold accents.

"That's the one, Sare Bear!"

"You sure?"

Noah jumped off the stool and ran over to inspect the fabric. He ran an index finger over the gold curlicues. "This one da prettiest."

"Then this one I shall wear." Sarah looked at the clock. "Hill is gonna be here in thirty. Where on Earth are your parents?"

"They getting the babies then me," Noah replied confidently. "We gonna see SANTA!"

"Well, they better hurry up or you're going to escort two ladies to the party and stay up super duper late."

"I like to stay up late!"

"I _know_ , Noey Boey!" Sarah kissed the top of his head, "We shall stay up as late as we want when we are in our nation's capital!"

…

Ed reached over his wife for the spiced bourbon. He gave Olivia a sip, took one of his own, put the bottle back on the nightstand, and resumed making his trail of kisses along his wife's bare collarbone. He felt her shift a little and looked up with a smirk when he saw her reaching for the bourbon, wanting another sip. The bottle was a gift and the liquor was infused with cinnamon and some other spices. It was deceptively sweet and spicy and it would have been easy to overindulge had they not also been enjoying each other.

Ed could not believe his luck earlier when Olivia didn't think twice about agreeing to his suggestion that they blow off the rest of the day, have lunch, and go home. As soon as they entered the apartment he pressed her against the closed door and, beginning with her black trench, started undressing her. Olivia reciprocated and they stripped down gradually, garment-for-garment, on their way to the bedroom. Olivia was so caught up in her husband's body and the feel of his lips against hers she didn't realize he'd taken the holiday bourbon with him until he reached for it in that moment when they laid under the covers, completely sated, legs still tangled, a sheen of sweat covering their skin.

"Like that, huh?" He mumbled into her chest.

"What?" She challenged, taking another drink from the bottle, "The sex or the drink?"

He growled playfully, "Which one ya like better?" His voice grew fainter as he made his way down her body and further under the covers. With the bourbon still fresh on his tongue he began gently teasing between her legs.

"Oh my _God_ ," she gasped.

"Which one, Liv?"

"The sex. Stop talking." She moaned and sighed again, first pressing his head more deeply into her body but then pulling it away.

"What's wrong?"

She handed him the bottle, "Take another drink."

"Oh yeah?" He smirked and followed her directions, making sure to keep the bourbon in his mouth until the very last second, until he absolutely had to swallow. Olivia sucked in a sharp breath when he continued, but he stopped abruptly.

" _Ed_ , don't—"

"Gimme the bottle."

He dribbled a little of the bourbon along her upper thighs, blew a steady stream of air across her liquor-drenched skin, and then ferociously lapped at her until she was writhing beneath him.

"Scream, Liv."

She did. It was the carnal, erotic scream one could only release in an empty apartment where there were no sleeping children.

" _Louder_."

There weren't many opportunities like this one, and Ed wanted to take full advantage. When Olivia's shrieks finally registered at his desired decibel level, he slithered back up her body. Somehow, she summoned the energy to push him onto his back.

"Your turn."

"You sure?" He groaned

"Yes. Stop asking." She wrestled the bourbon out of the tangled sheets. "You deserve it."

Nearly quivering with anticipation, Ed lifted his shoulders. She was planting sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on his abdomen and he grabbed her hair so he could look deep into her brown eyes. Her lids were heavy with arousal and her makeup was deliciously smeared. She placed a finger over his lips and cocked an eyebrow.

" _Shhhh_ ," she commanded. "Well, no, actually…" she removed the finger from his lips and slid that hand down to his hip, "I wanna hear _you_ now."

….

Freshly showered and dressed in jeans and sweaters, Ed and Olivia left their home inconspicuously and blended in with every other person on the city streets. December days were short and it was almost completely dark by the time they retrieved Wyatt and Maggie from day care. From there they drove the few blocks to Sarah's place. Ed double parked and went to get Noah while Olivia waited with the twins. They were securely snapped into their car seats and bundled up. She turned around and nudged their bellies.

"Hi sweethearts! You comfy back there?" Maggie waved her arms in the air and Wyatt strained to look backward see his mother's face. Olivia poked her head a little farther back so she could make eye contact. "Hey, Wyatt!"

He broke into babbles and Olivia grinned. "What's that? Are you talking to Mommy?" Maggie joined in and waved her arms even more frantically. "I know you wanna get out of there baby girl. Daddy and Noah are on their way then we'll go home." Maggie's hands emerged from under her pink fleece blanket. Olivia grabbed the fists, "Gotcha, Maggs!" Wyatt turned his head and he, too, attempted to free his hands. "There you go, sweet boy," Olivia cooed as she peeled back his blanket and flipped over his snowsuit's mitten sleeves. "There're those hands!"

"BABIES!" Noah shouted before clambering into his place in the middle seat. "How ya doin?"

"Hi Noah," Olivia said, pretending to be insulted he hadn't acknowledged her.

"Hi Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day?"

"Uh-huh!"

"How was school?"

"Good. Sare Bear picked me up."

"I know. Did you have fun with her?"

"Yep! She wearin' a dress for her party."

"Oh…I bet she looks pretty."

"She does!"

Ed nudged Olivia. "She's up there with Hillary."

"Oh, well, they work together. They're going to the party together," Olivia replied matter-of-factly.

"Together?" Ed glanced at her sideways, "Or… _together_?"

Olivia grinned. "I don't know. Why didn't you ask?"

"What am I supposed to say? Sarah, are you sleeping with Hillary?"

Olivia was laughing now. His cheeks were red with embarrassment and confusion. In the back seat, Noah was talking to the twins, oblivious to his parents' conversation. "I suppose you could say that. And…I also suppose we're thinking too much about it. Caroline could be wrong, you know."

"She has an innate, natural ability," Ed mocked his mother with a wry grin. "She knew you were my _soul mate_."

"So did Sarah and Brooke," Olivia retorted. "And so did _I_."

"Prolly 'cause I can never take my eyes off you."

"Probably."

Stopped at a light, Ed cupped the back of her head and leaned over for a kiss. "I love you, Liv."

"Love you, too."

"Mmmm. You still taste like the bourbon."

"That's in your head, sir."

"It's always gonna be in my head."

Olivia felt blood rush to her face. "Mine, too."

"Daddy!" Noah shouted from the backseat, "Go, go GREEN!"

Ed snuck one more kiss and replied, "Thanks, bud!"

….

 **#Tuckson**


	43. Chapter 43

**Forty-three.**

Arriving at home caught Noah by surprise, and he frowned when he noticed Ed turn on their street and stop in front of their building.

"Daddy, we goin to see Santa!"

Olivia turned to the backseat, "It's late sweetie. We'll see him tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah bud," Ed added, thinking Olivia's explanation wouldn't quite satisfy him, "The elves have all gone home and Santa's about to go have dinner with Mrs. Claus."

Noah considered his parents' comments and twisted his lips. He glanced at Wyatt and Maggie. "Yeaaaah," he drawled, "An' we don't have the babies list."

"Right, bud."

"We make it t'night," Noah concluded.

"Good idea, sweet boy. You can help them with their lists and Daddy and I will make dinner."

"Kay."

Olivia got out of the car and took Noah and Maggie into the building. Ed drove off and found a parking spot a couple of blocks away. He made sure Wyatt's hands were back in his mitten sleeves, tucked the blanket more securely around him, and pulled his hat down back over his ears. "Let's get that hood on ya, too, pal," he said. Wyatt simply gurgled and smiled as his Daddy extracted the hood from behind his head and tightened the elastic ties so only Wyatt's eyes, nose, and mouth were visible. Ed chuckled a little, pulled out his phone, and took a picture. "Alright, Wyatt Tucker," he pushed the button, releasing the car seat from its base, "Let's get in there so ya can make your list for Santa with Noah."

Wyatt's eyes widened as if he understood and he let out a string of high-pitched, excited babbles. Ed walked briskly down the block, the remnants of the day's new snow crunching under his steps. A few people passed him—Wyatt's baby talk hadn't relented and the sounds attracted a few smiles from strangers.

Inside, they set up the twins on their play mat and Noah had cleared one of his train tables to use as his desk. He got to work interviewing the twins about their lists, and Ed and Olivia searched the kitchen for dinner ingredients.

"We're terrible at this," Olivia remarked.

"At what?"

"At dinner. I mean, we're really, really bad."

"We are not," Ed protested.

Olivia opened the refrigerator, "Look at this. Hardly anything in here. It's only slightly more stocked than my fridge when I lived by myself."

"Do you want to go to Costco tomorrow? Would that make you feel better?"

"I think it would."

"Done."

"But that doesn't help us tonight."

Ed kissed her on the cheek. "Why don't you go and relax? Watch TV or something. I'll take care of it."

Olivia eyed the drawer where the take-out menus were stored. "What are you ordering?"

"I'll surprise you."

…..

Sarah slurred instructions to the cab driver and slumped against Hillary in the back seat. Hillary warned her not to fall asleep and Sarah mumbled about being glad they decided to leave the party early and go to a different bar. Hillary agreed. The atmosphere was stuffy and most people were there with spouses or dates. Sarah mingled for a bit and had a couple of cocktails, but she dragged Hillary out after only staying an hour. They passed the rest of the night hopping from bar to bar before they stumbled upon a stand-up comedy improv show.

The taxi turned onto Sarah's street and she told the driver to stop.

"I want to walk a little." She fumbled with the credit card machine. Hillary widened her eyes at the astronomical tip she gave.

Out of the cab and upright, Sarah stretched and stared into the sky, breathing deeply. "Ahhhh, what a nice, crisp night. I hope it snows."

"I did not miss the snow," Hillary said, crossing her arms and hoping Sarah wouldn't linger too long in the cold. "That's the only thing about Nashville I'll miss—the weather."

"I like seasons," Sarah said. She started twirling around, lost her balance, and bumped into Hillary. "Whoops!"

"C'mon. Let's go in. You gonna make it?"

Sarah gripped Hillary's forearms and got her bearings. She lifted her eyes slowly and saw the concern and compassion etched on Hillary's face. She had been responsible, drank slowly and not as much, and was the one who, noticing Sarah's eyes glazing over and the way she was swaying slightly in her chair, decided to end the evening.

"Yes, I'll make it. Thanks."

Hillary expected Sarah to turn to her building, but she leaned in closer and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. It caught her by surprise and she froze, unsure what exactly was happening. Sarah's eyelids were heavy and she zeroed in on the other cheek and kissed it in the same fashion.

"Let's go inside," Sarah whispered. "It's freezing out here."

Stunned, Hillary managed to choke out a garbled, "Yeah, okay."

….

Olivia watched approvingly from the bathroom door as Ed stripped the bed of the bourbon-soaked sheets and inspected the memory-foam mattress pad. He turned to his pajama-clad wife and asked if that particular bed covering was machine washable.

"I don't know," she replied with extreme disinterest.

Ed leaned down, push-up style, and sniffed, "Smells like liquor. We can prolly use carpet cleaner or something on it."

"Sounds like a plan." Olivia disappeared for a few seconds and returned with a fresh set of sheets. "Here." She held the stack out for Ed.

"You wanna help?"

"I was kind of enjoying watching you work, but…sure."

Ed raised his eyebrows in jest, "Like watching me work, huh?"

"I do."

"Well, then, just stay there, Lieutenant." He instructed with a cocky tinge in his deep, raspy voice. Olivia stayed where she was and Ed unfurled the fitted sheet. She smiled when one end escaped the corner of the mattress and he had to scramble to fix it before the whole thing retracted into a heap. He was trying so hard to be smooth and efficient and the sheet wasn't cooperating. Even these low-impact movements accentuated his biceps, and they bulged against the sleeves of his fitted gray t-shirt. When he bent over the movement revealed a sliver of skin on his lower back was, just above the waistband of his boxers, and it was all Olivia could do to stop herself from shoving him on the bed and initiating more sex on what had already been quite the erotic day.

Bed made, Ed wiggled his fingers at his wife. "C'mere." She came over to him and he held her close. "Today was a good day."

"It was." Olivia's eyes fell slightly, "But we didn't talk to Noah about school."

"We have time."

"Yeah, you're right. I…I'm just a little worried about him with kids two years older than he is. Will they…will they be nice to him?"

"Liv, it's just an hour a day. For math. He's a math genius. Like that Bobby Fischer kid."

"I think that was chess. And…I also think he had kind of a tortured life."

"Well never mind then," Ed grinned, "If the kids aren't nice to him we can always tell them we don't want him going anymore."

"I don't even know if he _likes_ math."

"He plays those games on the iPad."

"Okay," Olivia conceded, "Maybe he does like math."

"We'll talk to him tomorrow on the way to Costco."

"We're really doing that?"

" _Yes_ ," Ed replied insistently, "You want a stocked fridge and pantry and I'm gonna give it to you."

"Early Christmas present?"

"No. I don't need a holiday to give you what you want."

Olivia returned his smirk with one of her own. "And what do _you_ want?"

Ed's expression changed instantly—it was unmistakably businesslike. "I want to renew our vows."

The request came out of nowhere and Olivia took a tiny step backwards, unable to hide her astonishment. "Renew our vows?"

"Yeah. It's been two years. And lookit everything we have, everything that's changed…I want to do it. I want to marry you all over again, because, Liv, I honestly never thought it would get _this_ good, keep getting better and better and more exciting."

"Did you think it would get worse?"

Ed cringed inside; he didn't want his suggestion to backfire. "No, no, of course not, but…I love that we haven't become… _predictable_."

"We certainly have not."

"So…will you marry me again?"

"I'll marry you a million more times."

"Good," he planted a sloppy smooch on her lips and then made an exaggerated show of scanning the room, obviously in search of something.

"What are you looking for?"

He continued panning the bedroom and answered cockily, "The rest of that bourbon."

…..

Brooke opened her eyes at the sound of the bedroom door opening and then closing. She heard Sonny tiptoe into the room, remove his work clothes, and open a drawer to grab sleepwear. After a stop in the bathroom, he crawled into bed.

"Hey," Brooke said softly.

"Oh, hey," Sonny replied in a whisper, "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

Brooke rolled over, "Sort of, but I'm glad you did." Even in the darkness, she could see him smiling. "Tough night?"

"A little. Mostly it was just long. But…Fin's taking anything that comes in overnight."

"Good," Brooke kissed him, "I don't want any interruptions."

Sonny raised his eyebrows. Brooke hadn't spoken like this in weeks, since before the miscarriage. "No interruptions?"

"No," she whispered, clearly intent on doing more than kissing him. She played with the waistband of the sweatpants he'd just put on, "No interruptions."

Despite having recommitted themselves to each other and to their relationship, there had been no intimate contact between Brooke and Sonny since the loss of the baby. Brooke admittedly felt unattractive and undesirable. Sonny gently assured her this was not true, but he patiently waited, and he made it a point not to pressure her. They'd been to therapy together and had many deep, honest conversations, but he acknowledged he could never completely empathize with what she'd been through.

"Brooke are you sure?" Her hands were under his shirt now and she was in the process of getting it off when he stopped her with the question.

"I'm positive."

Sonny was still nervous, worried about hurting her, questioning whether her desire for him was completely genuine. "You don't…we don't…if you're not ready."

Brooke was kissing at his neck now and she'd pressed her body flush with his, "I'm ready. I'm…more than ready…"

"Are—"

"Sonny, stop." Brooke grabbed his closest hand and slid it under her shirt, helping him find his groove again, "It's time to be completely normal again. I want this."

Knowing any further objections would be more annoying than gallant, Sonny quickly changed his mind set and began making love to Brooke. There was nothing but pleasure in her noises, and it felt so good to have her in his arms again, their bodies rediscovering a shared passion, a shared love, a mutual admiration and adoration, and, finally, the total contentment of lying together in the afterglow, sharing a pillow and lazy kisses.

"You good?" Sonny asked, his lips on hers.

"I'm perfect."

"Me too."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Sonny replied, brushing back her hair.

"Everything's going to be okay, isn't it?" Brooke's tone was more rhetorical than inquisitive, but Sonny answered anyway.

"It is."

"And…I'm ready to tell everybody."

Sonny took a couple seconds to process her words. "You are?"

"Yes. Are…are you?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Brooke said resolutely, "Do you want to start with your family first?"

"But we're gonna see yours on Christmas Eve…for dinner."

"I feel like we always tell them things first."

"You're thinking about what happened…back at Thanksgiving."

Brooke twirled a chunk of Sonny's hair which had fallen across his forehead, "Maybe…I feel like…I feel like they still haven't forgiven us for not telling them about the baby."

"Hey," Sonny kissed her firmly, "We don't owe them anything when it comes to our lives. I love them, but, like I said, they're too into each other's lives. And we're not like that. And I love that we're not like that." He kissed her again, "And I know, Lieu and the Captain and everyone won't judge us."

Brooke smiled, "Are you ever going to call them by their first names?"

"Probably not. At least, not as long as she's my boss. And even then, probably not."

She traced his jawline with an index finger. "You're adorable."

"So are you."

"So…Christmas Eve?"

"Yep. Christmas Eve."

…

Sarah tossed her keys on the side table near the door and told Hillary to have a seat. She tossed her coat over the back of the armchair and searched her cabinets for something to have for the night's final drink. Finding nothing, she shrugged.

"Probably for the best," Hillary remarked.

" _Ugh_ ," Sarah groaned, "I really wanted something holiday-ish."

Hillary started gathering the things she'd left in the apartment earlier—her makeup bag and another tote containing her work clothes. She'd come to Sarah's to get ready directly from the office.

"Where are you going?" Sarah asked.

"Home."

"Aw, no, come on, watch a movie with me. Stay here."

Her eyes drifted to the television and then to the couch. Though Sarah's kisses baffled her, surprisingly, they hadn't made her uncomfortable. These first few minutes in the apartment had unfolded normally however, and her apartment was several frigid blocks away. "Well, okay. I…do you have some sweats I can borrow?"

"Sure!" Sarah bounded into her room and produced a fresh pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Hillary went to the bathroom to change, and when she returned, Sarah was snuggled on one end of the couch with a blanket and had set out another throw for Hillary. She turned on the television and flipped through her Netflix queue. Hillary noticed she'd also poured two drinks of something clear but not water.

"I found schnapps!" Sarah announced proudly. "It's pomegranate. Try it!"

Hillary took a sip and smiled approvingly. "It's good."

They started watching a new comedy. The lights from the Christmas tree and the glare from the screen cast a dim, bluish slight throughout the room. The movie had a fairly light-hearted and fast-moving plot, but Hillary started dozing off. Her eyes started to flutter closed. Fighting, sleep, she forced them back open, only for them to drift shut again. The third or fourth time this happened, she opened her eyes and saw Sarah inching closer to her.

"Go to sleep," she whispered, "We can finish the movie later."

"Okay," Hillary mumbled, scooting to recline a little more.

"No," Sarah said, "Take Brooke's bed silly."

"Oh yeah," Hillary felt a little foolish. She'd used that bedroom while waiting to move into her apartment.

"Sheets and everything are clean."

"Thanks."

Sarah turned off the lights and the television and walked Hillary to Brooke's old room. She opened the door with a flourish and turned on the lamp. "There ya go. Welcome back home!"

"Thanks."

"Um, goodnight." Sarah dawdled.

Hillary did as well. Nervous all of a sudden she shifted her weight from foot to foot and played with her hands. "Night," she whispered. "Thanks again." She opened her arms and hugged Sarah, nervous and anxious about what would happen when they ended the embrace. She felt Sarah's fingers gently massage the middle of her back. There was no question about what was going to happen next.

Sarah moved her hands to Hillary's shoulders and said softly, "I'm so glad we're friends."

"Me too."

Smiling, Sarah moved closer and closer before finally putting her lips on Hillary's. Seeking a reaction, both hers and Hillary's, she pulled away slightly. "I…I wanted to see how that felt," she explained.

"Okay."

"Are… _are_ you okay?"

"Yes."

The answer was delivered so assuredly, Sarah kissed her again. They pecked at one another a few times, each trying to figure out how far this "experiment" was going to go. Hillary closed her eyes when she felt Sarah's lips part, upping the ante. What was happening? How would they work together after this? At what point would they have gone too far? Was this Sarah just drunk and fooling around or something more serious? Hillary forced these uncertainties to the backburner and found herself enjoying the feel of Sarah's soft lips on hers and the way she slowly invited herself into her mouth, deliberately, carefully, giving Hillary every opportunity to stop.

But she didn't want to stop; moreover, she started kissing back. Waves of pleasure rippled through her midsection—sensations she never expected to feel at the hands of another woman.

Then the kiss got sloppy, playful, and Sarah started giggling. "Wow, okay, um," she stammered, wiping her mouth, "I gotta go to bed."

This seemed an abrupt and clumsy end to the evening; however, Hillary was glad she didn't have to make any more decisions tonight. "Yeah, it's late," she mumbled.

"It is."

"Goodnight, Sarah."

"Night."

…

Noah ran into his parents' room early the next morning and climbed onto their bed, jumping on top of his Mommy and Daddy who were barely awake.

"Hey bud." Ed greeted him with his eyes half open.

"Hi Daddy! We go see Santa now?"

"I dunno if Santa is awake yet." He lifted his head and caught a glimpse of the clock. "Nope, bud, he's not awake. Gotta give him a couple hours."

Olivia was curled into Ed's chest, her head just below his chin. "Sweet boy you're up so early today," she said, her voice heavy with sleep. She was reluctant to roll out of Ed's arms and surrender to the day. Under the covers he was gently rubbing her breasts like he did most mornings when they didn't have a rigid timetable.

Noah bounced on the other side of Ed. "I just wake up, Mommy!"

"I know."

Noah crashed into Ed and came nose-to-nose with him. "It Christmas yet?"

"Nope, bud, we got a few days til then."

"School today?"

"Nope, it's Saturday."

"Mommy, you gonna be p'lice today?"

"No, sweet boy," Olivia answered into her pillow, "Not unless they really, really need me."

"I really, really need you," Ed whispered.

Olivia patted the hand that had drifted from her breast to her stomach. Ed's appetite for her was insatiable lately, so much so that if Noah gave them even ten more minutes, he probably would have attempted to make love to her one more time before they had to get up and start their day.

"Alright," she said, "Coffee. Now."

Ed groaned when he felt cool air invade their cozy space. Olivia got out of bed and pulled on a pair of Ed's sweatpants—she'd only been wearing panties.

"Mommy you need some clothes!" Noah said gleefully, jumping on the bed a little more. He grabbed a fistful of his own pajamas, "Like these!"

"I _know_ ," Olivia said, "Maybe Santa will bring me some. But, for now, I'll borrow Daddy's. C'mere," Olivia held out her arms and Noah jumped to her. "Let's make the coffee and we'll bring some to Daddy. He looks like he wants to sleep a little more." She caught Ed's eye and winked at him.

The twins woke up when the coffee was brewing. Noah skipped into their room in front of Olivia and said, "Morning, babies!"

Olivia picked up Maggie first, kissed both her cheeks, and changed her diaper. "Here ya go, baby girl," she said, sitting her on the carpeted floor so she could clean up Wyatt. "Stay here with Noah."

Olivia had just put a new diaper on Wyatt and was putting his legs back in his pajamas when Noah shouted, "Mommy LOOK!"

Olivia whirled around. "Oh my God. ED!"

Shirtless, Ed came running in time to see Maggie crawl a few more inches before flopping on her tummy. She raised herself on her elbows again, kicked and scooted, and finally got herself back on her knees. He crouched in the doorway and held out his hands, "C'mon Maggs, crawl to Daddy." She grinned at him. Drops of drool clung to her chin as she rocked back and forth and finally started moving toward Ed.

Noah shadowed her as she made her way across the carpet. She lost her rhythm a couple of times and resorted to scooting, but each time she got herself back to her hands and knees and finally reached Ed.

He scooped her up and held her above his head. "That's my big girl!"

Olivia rushed to his side, holding Wyatt who was clad in his unbuttoned pajamas. Noah jumped up and down, cheering for his sister. He tugged on Wyatt's foot. "You gotta crawl now, brother!"

Olivia kissed Maggie's head. "My sweet girl, we're so proud of you! You _crawled_!"

Noah marched around the room chanting, "Mag-GIE! Mag-GIE!"

"Got two mobile now," Ed joked, "Better put baby gates on our Costco list."

"Good idea, _Daddy_."

Ed looked at her with mock scorn, " _Olivia_ …what'd I tell you about calling me that?"

"That it drives you crazy," she pecked his cheek and took Wyatt back to the changing table to fix his pajamas.

"Daddy! Put Maggs down! She wanna crawl more! C'mon!" Noah ran out into the living room. "I gonna put her fav'rite toy wayyyyyy over here and you put her _there_ and she's gonna crawl!"

"Good idea, bud."

Olivia hovered over Wyatt, bopping his nose and making faces. He smiled, babbled, and reached for her. "Okay, big guy," Olivia said, picking him up and holding him tightly to her chest, "Mommy's gotcha."

In the kitchen she held him on her hip while she stirred her coffee and pulled out Noah's cereal and his utensils. Wyatt, more inclined to be held than his sister, glued himself to her side and placidly watched the action, content in his mother's arms. This suited Olivia just fine. She wasn't quite ready to let him go.

…

 **#Tuckson**


	44. Chapter 44

**Forty-four.**

"It's CHRISTMAS!" Noah shouted and his footsteps grew louder as he scampered from his room to his parents' room. Finding the door locked, he banged on it with both fists. "Mommy! Daddy! It's Christmas."

Ed groaned, "Why does he keep getting up earlier and earlier?"

"We need to keep him up later."

"No," Ed called, "You have a new bedtime. Nine-thirty."

"Eight-thirty," Olivia countered.

"Open da door!"

"Just a minute, bud." Ed kissed and bit at Olivia's bare shoulder. "Our morning sex is way overdue," he mumbled into her neck.

"Maybe you'll get lucky on Christmas morning, Captain." Olivia rolled over so she could kiss him. Her hair was a mess and her makeup-free face made her freckles stand out. Ed wanted to kiss each one.

"That's _two_ _days_ away."

"What's the difference between morning sex and sex at some other time?"

Ed playfully rolled his eyes, "Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker, you should know better than to ask that….morning sex is my favorite time to make love to you."

"I thought bourbon sex was your favorite."

Ed raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. " _Ahhhh_ , tough choice there. Lemme get back to you."

"DADDY!"

Ed kissed her once more and jumped out of bed. Olivia watched him walk, completely naked, to the bathroom and frowned when he reappeared with clothes on.

Ed grinned. "Whaddya want me to do?" He asked, flipping the lock, "We're not running a nudist colony here. At least," he jerked his head in the direction of the hallway, "Not out there."

Olivia laughed into her pillow. On the other side of the door Noah stood with his hands on his hips, glaring up at Ed with a crinkled nose and his lips pressed in a straight line. He looked adorable in his green-and-red striped elf pajamas.

"Hey, bud."

"Hey, Daddy. Why you lock the door on Christmas?"

Ed picked him up. "It's not Christmas, pal. Two more days. Remember your calendar?"

"I took down the days."

At the beginning of the month, Noah made a "Countdown to Christmas" calendar with candy canes affixed to each day. They took one down each night, but Noah apparently thought he could speed Santa's arrival by prematurely removing the candy canes.

Ed grinned, "Sorry bud, doesn't work that way. Today's the twenty-third. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve and we have everyone over for dinner. _Then_ Santa comes."

"What we do _today_?"

Ed stuck his head back into the bedroom. "Liv, you goin in?"

"Yes. Then, as long as nothing comes up, I'm meeting Sarah and Brooke for shopping and lunch, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember." Ed kissed Noah's forehead, "So it's the four of us today for a little while, bud. And it's snowing pretty hard out there. Probably gonna stay in."

"I won't be long," Olivia said, stretching, yawning, and squinting at the daylight, "Early lunch. And we don't have much shopping to do…at least I don't. But it's tradition."

"Tradition?"

"Yes. Sarah reminded me we always have lunch and shop before Christmas and we haven't done that yet this year."

"I go with you?" Noah asked.

"No, sweet boy. We might be buying you some presents."

Noah was fine with this reasoning. "Daddy, gotta get down, I hear the babies."

"Ok, bud. Go talk to 'em and I'll be there in a minute."

"I'll feed them before I get ready," Olivia said.

"Want me to bring 'em in here?"

"Please."

Ed leaned down for another kiss. "You're such an amazing mother, Liv."

"And you're an amazing Da—" she caught herself just in time. Her use of "Daddy" drove Ed crazy. "An amazing _father_."

Ed grinned appreciatively. "Be right back with hungry babies."

…..

Fin tracked Olivia's path from the elevator to her office with a silly smile. She pretended not to notice and, instead, said a general "good morning" to the squad and proceeded ahead. Before opening the door, she spun on her heel and saw Fin still grinning.

"Okay," she threw up her hands, "What?"

Rollins, Carisi, and Savage all put their heads down, pretending to work.

Fin shrugged. "Nothin."

" _What_?"

"You look happy."

Olivia cocked her head, "You know what? I am." She shot him a wink and continued to her desk. Minutes later Carisi came in, reporting a DNA match in a week-old case. Olivia told him to go pick up the perp and to take Fin with him. He nodded.

"Oh, and, Carisi?"

"Yeah Lieu?"

"You and Brooke are bringing dessert tomorrow, right?"

He grinned. "Yeah, right. We got it. Something chocolate?"

"Noah will be thrilled. Hey, will you send Rollins in?"

"Yep."

The Sergeant walked in with her laptop and placed it in front of Olivia. On the screen was what looked like cell phone footage of a party where young men were traversing the large room with bottles of vodka, pouring shots down guests' throats.

"Look at this," Rollins said, rolling her eyes.

"What am I looking at other than a bunch of drunk kids at a party."

"Well, guess what? Two rape allegations."

"Being drunk and out of control at a party isn't consent, Amanda."

"I know," she sighed, "It's…I see things like this and I seriously wonder how I'm going to ever let Jesse leave the house when she's….I don't know…from middle school on!"

Olivia softened and empathized with Rollins. The two mothers had the exact same fears about raising children, and she told her so. "This job," Olivia said, "Amplifies every single parental fear, and, no matter how much I talk about it or try to ignore it, it's still there every once in a while. Things like this," Olivia nodded to the computer, "Bring those fears to the forefront. But…we do the best we can do to raise children who'll make good decisions."

Amanda ran her hands through her hair, exasperated, "Good decisions…" she murmured. "I don't know if I've figured out how to do that on a regular basis yet."

Olivia took off her reading glasses and raised her eyebrows, "Everything okay?"

"I…I don't want to bother you with it."

"It's not a bother. What's going on?" Olivia remembered Rollins had just returned from upstate, "How was…how's Declan?"

"Well he's here," she reported with a weak voice. "And so are my mother and sister and I have no clue what I'm doing."

"He's living with you?"

"No, no…but, _ugh_." Amanda was clearly annoyed at herself for some reason. Olivia told her to close the door and sit down. She flung herself on the sofa and rubbed her cheeks with the palms of her hands. Finally, she revealed the source of her angst. "When we were at the cabin, the three of us, it was like we were a family, you know? I thought it was going to be awkward, but it wasn't. It was nice to be in a bubble, completely cut off from everything, and seeing Jesse with her Daddy…it made me want that so badly for her."

"I know how that goes," Olivia replied sympathetically, "Different circumstances, but I felt the same way with Ed and Noah."

Amanda looked up with interest, "We…none of us knew how that went. Just assumed it was sort of seamless."

She was speaking the truth. The beginning of Ed Tucker being a part of her life was still a complete mystery to her squad. She threw Amanda a bone. "It was a combination of a lot of emotions. I wasn't sure how I felt sharing Noah. I wasn't sure if Tucker was genuine about wanting to be…his _Daddy_. It seemed so unbelievable that someone like him would actually want to take on that responsibility, that _life_. But, as it turned out, I was the only one who was apprehensive…we were becoming a family and I didn't even know it because I was too busy worrying about it all falling apart."

Resting her elbows on her knees and smiling faintly, Amanda remarked, "Some people actually have traditional families, don't they? You know, two people get married, get a dog, have a kid."

"We just have a different kind of normal, Amanda."

"I need to get that printed on a throw pillow or something. Mantra of my life."

"So, are you spending Christmas with Declan?"

"Yeah, he's…he's coming over." She rolled her eyes again, "I warned him…about my mom and Kim, but he insisted."

"You're going to have to get used to him being around," Olivia advised, now sounding more like the sagely commanding officer than a confidant, "He's going to want to be a part of Jesse's life."

"I know. It's hard though, flying solo for almost three years…and learning to…accept help."

"Once you let yourself do that," Olivia's eyes drifted to their latest family photo, "You won't want to ever do it alone anymore. But letting go is hard."

"How long'd it take you to get to that point?"

Olivia sighed, "Almost my whole life."

….

Ed looked up at Olivia with a surprised smile. "Hey there! Didn't think you would be home _this_ early."

It was not yet noon.

"I decided to come home and change first," she replied. "It's…quiet in here."

"We have two sleeping twins and a preschooler who is in his room secretly wrapping presents."

Olivia glanced toward the back hallway and Noah's bedroom. Her heart swelled with affection for her son, and she was desperate to peek her head into his room and watch him wrap his gifts. Ed read her mind.

"Don't do it, Liv. He wants us all to be surprised."

"I won't…but I _really_ want to."

"Shoulda put the baby monitor in there."

" _Oooo_ , you should have!" She knelt next to him on the couch, grinning. "I'm so bad."

"Nah," he said, "I already tried to go in there…that's how I know he wants us to be surprised. He immediately kicked me out."

"Okayy," she whined and kissed Ed.

He shivered and ran his fingers through her slightly tangled hair. "Damn, I can still feel the cold on ya."

Olivia moved closer to him, "Well, warm me up a little."

"No problem." Ed took her into his arms and kissed her passionately, tilting her head back, and dipping his tongue deep into her mouth. He knew they didn't have much time, so he made it quick, and they parted with a loud smack.

Olivia lazily opened her eyes. " _Wow_."

"Warm?"

"Um," she bit her lip and blinked, a little dazed, "Yes. Thank you."

"Anytime."

Prior to departing to meet the girls, Olivia rifled through the closet for a different coat—something other than her typical trench. She found a black parka she rarely wore; it had large pockets and buckles on the shoulders, the design inspired by military attire.

"Are we good with everything for tomorrow?" Olivia called to Ed from the foyer.

He got up from the couch and walked to her, "What's that?"

"Do we have everything for tomorrow?"

"Yep. We did a good job at Costco. Now we just have to cook it."

Olivia grinned. "Good thing Grandma's coming."

"Yeah," Ed plucked Olivia's beanie from the coat rack and put it on her head, making sure her wavy brown locks weren't in her face. He kept his hands over her ears and kissed her firmly, staring at her for a few extra seconds, loving the way she looked in a hat. "There ya go."

"Thank you."

He kissed her again, " _Mmmm_ , my pleasure. I love you."

"I love you, Ed Tucker."

"Hurry back."

"Will do." She flashed a wide smile, her brown eyes sparkled, and she blew him a kiss as she walked out the door.

…

Selfishly, Olivia requested a meeting spot close to her home, and Brooke and Sarah were already at the bar with half-finished drinks when she arrived. To no one's surprise, Sarah ran to her with arms wide open, squealing, "Livvie!" She kissed her cheek with an exaggerated "Mwah!" and ushered her to the seat they'd reserved for her. Olivia's drink arrived and the three of them toasted to the holidays.

"This is so fun," Sarah gushed, "I love it when it's just the girls."

"Awww," Brooke said, "We don't have Maggie."

"I didn't want to have to take her out in case we actually did some shopping," Olivia said, "Weather's supposed to get nasty later."

"Maybe next year," Sarah said.

Olivia glanced around—lit garland was strung along the shelving and Christmas music played from the overhead speakers. It was a more upscale Irish pub—the tables were draped with white cloths and the armchairs were upholstered with red leather. The interior was constructed almost entirely of the same dark wood, and the dim lighting made it seem later than lunchtime. A few people were eating at the tables and booths, but most of the customers were huddled at the long bar.

"So, everything's all set for our little excursion to D.C.," Sarah reported. "And Brookey's going with."

"Noah's so excited," Olivia said, "About so many things…your trip, the twins' first Christmas, he's at home right now _wrapping presents_. Getting so big…"

Sarah clutched her sweater near her heart, "Omigod, omigod, omigod. I _have_ to see that. Like, let's go right now."

"Nope," Olivia replied, "He apparently kicked your Dad out. Top secret."

"So sweet," Brooke said.

Olivia saw Brooke's phone light up with an incoming call. It took a minute, but when she processed the name of the caller, her breath caught in her throat. She glanced at Sarah. She was busy signaling for the bartender to bring another round. Brooke picked up and, after a few "okays" and "uh-huhs" announced she had to leave.

"Sonny's on his way home and we're going to start baking. I gotta cut it short."

" _Brooke_ ," Sarah whined, frowning, "This is _tradition_."

"And I showed up. But, if you want dessert tomorrow, I have to go."

Pretending to pout, Sarah muttered, "Fine."

Brooke hugged them both and went home. Sarah rambled on and on about the trip to D.C. and some work things, but Olivia was still thinking about what she saw on Brooke's phone. She only snapped back to reality when Sarah asked, slurring her words a little, "Livvie, canIaskyouaquestion?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever loved anyone like you love Daddy?"

"No," she immediately and resolutely replied.

"You know…when Jeff and I got married…for me, all of it, was obligatory."

"I know." Olivia rested her elbow on the bar and turned so she was fully facing Sarah, signaling she was completely present and ready to listen. She assumed the holidays were still hard for her, and that, coupled with the drinks she'd had, would make her even more effusive with her emotions.

"But now…I'm just so in _love_. I feel it. I know what it feels like now."

"Who are you in love with?" Caroline's words and Ed's questions echoed in Olivia's head. She got the feeling she was on the verge of a major disclosure, and she studied Sarah's body language carefully.

She waved her hands around as she spoke, "It's not any one particular person, it's just everything. Life. Friends. Family. Apartment shopping. I love all of it, even _work_ believe it or not…I love my life."

"That's great, Sarah. Really great," Olivia said sincerely; however, she suspected something else was on Sarah's mind. "But is there…is there someone? I know, for me, your Dad kind of unlocked all those feelings."

"I don't know if I can love just one person," Sarah said. "It's…too much. I'm…" she clutched her sweater again, "I'm a _passionate_ person as you know. I have so much of it…"

"I know. It's one of your best qualities."

Sarah's eyes widened. "You think so?"

"I do."

She took a long, contemplative drink, and a few moments of silence ensued. "Livvie," she said, all business, "I'm going to tell you something and I'm not asking you to keep it a secret because that's unfair."

"Okay."

"I kissed Hillary."

This admission did not exactly take Olivia by surprise and she calmly and innocently pointed out that Sarah greeted her with a kiss when she arrived at the bar.

"No…no…" Sarah intoned, "This was a kiss-kiss."

"And…" Olivia hesitated. Sarah was obviously waiting for her to say something and she wanted to make sure she was choosing the right words. "How…how did that turn out?"

"I don't know," Sarah huffed. "The next morning she left for Nashville. I haven't talked to her."

"No contact at all?"

"Well, texts, but…we haven't _talked_." Sarah took another sip and continued, "I was drunk. I don't think she was though. It…it felt so _right_ , but now, I don't know, I'm caught between really wanting to do it again and wanting to forget it happened."

Olivia patted Sarah's hand, "You're not going to be able to forget it," she said, "And neither will Hillary."

"I could blame it on the booze," Sarah wiggled her glass in the air both to accentuate her point and request another, "That's always convenient."

Sarah's apparent return to drinking more than she should alarmed Olivia, and she hoped it was just a holiday binge and not her new status quo; however, that conversation would have to wait for another day.

"But it doesn't resolve anything," Olivia said, "For you or for her."

"I need for this not to be awkward. Like, having a fling with a guy is so not a big deal, like, okay, we got drunk and had sex, so what?"

Olivia probed for more information, "Was there more than the kiss…with Hillary?"

"No…no…but I really think there coulda been. Have you…" She squeezed her eyes closed for a second and asked her question in hushed tones, "Have you…ever…ever _wanted_ a woman?"

"I've cared very much for a couple of women," Olivia said, "But…no, I've never had those feelings for a woman." Sarah frowned and Olivia was almost disappointed she couldn't have given her an affirmative answer. "But I understand how it is to have conflicting feelings about a relationship. I know that well. And I think…when Hillary gets back, or, if you want to call her, either way, you need to have a conversation…even if it's a little uncomfortable."

Sarah lifted her head and looked at Olivia with her cloudy, almost dazed, blue eyes. Both her expression and her words were extremely sincere. "I really think I love her, Livvie. But I don't know what _kind_ of love it is…does that make any sense?"

Olivia stood up so she could give Sarah a proper hug. She smoothed her hair and whispered, "It makes perfect sense. No matter what, we love and support you. No matter what. All we want is for you to be happy."

Sarah sniffled, fighting back tears. She hadn't, until now, recognized the depth of her confusion and how hurt she'd been when she realized Hillary had snuck out without saying goodbye. She tightened her grip on Olivia and imagined a life with Hillary as opposed to a life with a husband with whom she was actually in love. They both worked. They both fit. Pros and cons either way.

"Thank you, Livvie," Sarah said, brushing away a few stray tears and adjusting her position on the bar stool. "I think the truth is…I still have no clue what I want."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	45. Chapter 45

**Forty-five.**

Sarah's news threw Olivia for a bit of a loop, but in the moment she had been even-keeled, compassionate, and understanding, never once conveying any emotion bordering on shock or bewilderment. However, on the way home, alone, she lost herself in her thoughts, and by the time she entered the bustling apartment she was reeling and desperately wanted to spill everything to Ed.

He and the children were sitting together watching _Home Alone_ which seemed to be on television twenty-four hours a day in the past week. It wasn't a show she would've chosen for Noah, but he stumbled upon it one day, became hooked, and cheered each time Kevin got the better of Marv and Harry. They were at the beginning, and Olivia heard Noah say, "THIRD FLOOR, Kevin!" before she even saw what was on the screen.

Everyone had a beverage—a beer for Ed, a juice box for Noah, and the twins were most likely drinking diluted apple juice from their new sippy cups, another milestone that simultaneously thrilled and distressed Olivia. Noah munched on cheese popcorn. Ed must have been feeding Maggie and Wyatt bits of banana because there was a half-eaten one in the peel laying on the coffee table.

Olivia kissed Noah hello first and he shifted so he could keep his eyes on the movie. She smiled sweetly at him, picked up Maggie, and settled in next to Ed. "I am so glad to be home."

He gave her an odd look. "Something happen?"

"Noah," Olivia said, "Daddy and I are going to take the twins in the kitchen for a few minutes, okay? We'll be right back."

"Kay," Noah replied, not sounding particularly upset at being left semi-alone.

They stood on opposite sides of the island, the twins seated on the granite and slapping the cool surface. Ed covered Wyatt's little hands when they met the countertop, playing with him until Olivia was ready to talk.

She gave Ed two options. "Okay, which sister's business do you want first? Sarah or Brooke?"

"Which is worse?"

"I don't think either is particularly bad."

"You certainly don't look happy."

"I have…questions."

"I can't help ya if you don't tell me, Liv," he said, smirking.

Olivia made the split second decision to talk about Sarah first. "So it has been made clear to me…that your mother was…partially right about Sarah and Hillary."

Stunned, Ed's jaw dropped slightly and he stared blankly back at his wife.

"Sarah said they…shared a kiss."

Ed brushed this off, "Ah, she kisses everybody."

"No," Olivia replied gently, "She made it clear it was a real kiss."

The blank stare returned.

"Ed?"

He blinked. "Um, uh, so…does this mean she's… _bisexual_? Are they… _seeing each other_?"

Throughout the two decades she'd been at SVU, Olivia had been privy to every type of relationship imaginable which was probably why she was instinctively more comfortable in the conversation than her husband. He fidgeted and focused more on Wyatt than on her.

"She is very confused."

"I'll bet. I am too."

Maggie was getting restless and Olivia moved her to the play mat. "What's confusing?"

"Like I said before, whatever makes her happy," There was an unfamiliar helplessness in Ed's voice, "But I can't help but think…she's mistaking having a good, close friend for…physical attraction."

Olivia understood his point. Ed had, on multiple occasions, told Olivia about his daughters' struggles with friends growing up. Neither Sarah nor Brooke had many close friends, but Sarah in particular rarely, if ever, socialized with her peers.

"She's so good," Ed continued, "At structured things—school, her job, she's so damn smart—but when it comes to boyfriends or, I guess, girlfriends, she's just bad. It's like all her wires get screwed up and she doesn't know what to do. I mean hell, her last relationship was Bill Dodds for Chrissakes."

"I think there was something in Argentina," Olivia said, trying to lighten the mood.

"You sure that wasn't Hillary?"

"No," she replied, "But if it was, why would she be making such a big deal about a kiss _now_?"

"True."

"So…that's one thing."

Ed ran his hand over Wyatt's head, smoothing his fine brown hair. "Ok, fire away."

"Brooke didn't stay long. She got a call from Sonny and went home to make the dessert for tomorrow."

This didn't sound like a very interesting story and Ed relaxed.

"And I saw the call come in," Olivia gripped the side of the counter and supported most of her weight against it, push-up style. "And it said _Husband_. With _hearts_."

"That doesn't sound like Brooke."

"I know."

"You think they got married already?"

"I think so," Olivia's lips curled into a smile, "I think they just went ahead and did it…after that heartbreak…maybe they wanted to put it behind them and move on without all the fuss."

Ed continued to rub Wyatt's head, the contact with the baby being his connection to simpler things. "But why not tell us?"

"They probably wanted to keep it to themselves for a while. Let it sink in. And," Olivia added, "They cancelled the shower and haven't sent out invitations."

"They reserved the place at Rockefeller Center for the reception."

Olivia shrugged, "Maybe they'll use it and have a party."

Ed managed a grin and muttered, "What the hell…"

Olivia took Wyatt from him and put the baby on the floor with his sister. Returning to Ed, she put her arms around his neck and felt his fingers intertwine at the small of her back. Locking eyes, he smirked at her, she smiled at him, and they held one another for several long minutes, the only sounds came from _Home Alone_ and Noah's occasional commentary and, of course, the twins' excited babbles and the rattling of their toys.

"I still want to renew our vows," Ed finally whispered, sounding a little nervous.

"Me too."

"It doesn't have to be in front of anyone. It can be just us."

Olivia kissed his lips lightly and smiled languidly. "Whatever you want."

….

It took Ed significantly less time to make himself presentable for their guests, but he took his time and moved slowly, extending his moments in front of the mirror with Olivia who was wearing slim-fitting black pants on the bottom but had not yet put on her silky red blouse. She put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup, and Ed couldn't help but fixate on her smooth, toned, dark skin and the way it contrasted with the red bra, and he couldn't decide whether he preferred her in the undergarment or out of it. It perfectly hugged her curves and accentuated her cleavage.

Needing a temporary diversion, he tousled his hair, slapped on aftershave, and poked his head into the bedroom. Noah was jumping on the bed, conscientious about staying in the center of the king-sized mattress. He would jump twice and fall on his bottom, trying to replicate moves he'd once done on a trampoline. The baby monitor showed the twins fast asleep in their cribs. Ed smiled—they would be rested and ready for the guests.

Back at Olivia's side, he gave in and kissed her shoulder, looking in the mirror after the first kiss to gauge her reaction.

She dabbed at her cheeks with a makeup brush and murmured a rhetorical, "What are you doing?"

"Kissing my beautiful wife."

"Oh." She wound a section of hair on the opposite side of where Ed was standing around the curling wand, tilting her head away from him.

He took the opportunity to kiss her again, this time on her exposed neck. "So, so beautiful." He ran his fingers along the edge of the bra's cup, "And I love this. It's new?"

"It is."

"Am I bothering you?"

"A little." She shot him a sassy smile through the mirror. "And I need to curl this side. I don't want to burn you."

"I guess I'll get a shirt on then."

"Yeah," she teased, "Unfortunately…we have to wear clothes for a little while tonight."

Ed raised his eyebrows, "Meaning, at some point, we won't need clothes?"

Olivia put the wand on the counter and grabbed Ed's shoulders. She leaned in and whispered in her deepest, sexiest voice, "As soon as everyone leaves, all of it's coming off."

"You're killing me."

She stepped back and resumed her primping. "Sorry."

"Hey, seriously, uh—"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin' um, though, with Sarah…am I supposed to know?"

"She made it a point to tell me I wasn't sworn to secrecy. But…I would say, follow her lead…I'm not going to bring it up if she doesn't."

"And Brooke?"

"I wasn't supposed to see what I saw," Olivia said, "So…we're just going to have to wait and see."

"I'm glad there isn't any more guessing…when it comes to us."

Olivia took her shirt from its hanger and slid it over her head. Ready now, she kissed Ed and patted his chest. "Me too. I think…I don't like to pinpoint favorite things, but that's one of my favorite parts of being your wife. No more guessing."

"I'm fucking crazy about you."

Her eyes twinkled.

"I know. I love it."

…

The Tuckers served prime rib, potatoes, green beans, Caroline's famous soda bread, and an assortment of red and white wines. After dinner, Sonny and Brooke proudly presented their desserts—assorted cannoli and a chocolate fudge cake with a vanilla-almond frosting, a recipe which had been in the Carisi family for at least a century. Sonny intentionally put the cake in front of Noah and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he was given a gigantic slice.

"Whoa! Thanks Sonny!"

"You're welcome, Noah. Figured you'd want the first piece."

While the desserts were being served, Ed brought a bottle of amaretto and a dessert wine along with the appropriate glassware. He served each person—Caroline even took a break from her beloved gin to partake—and proposed a toast.

"To our family," he said proudly, "and to our twins' first Christmas, and Noah's first Christmas as a big brother."

"Noah was holding his cup in the air like all the adults. "Daddy, Maggs and Wyatt get cake?"

"We'll give 'em a little taste, bud."

"Captain?" Carisi stood up, "Mind if I say a few words?"

Ed glanced at Olivia out of the corner of his eye and conceded the floor to Carisi. "Go ahead."

"Thanks, um," he held his amaretto in one hand and rested the other on Brooke's shoulder, "Well, I'll just say it…Brooke and I…going through what we went through, we realized how strong we are, and how much we love each other…and how much we didn't care about a big wedding or a shower or anything else. So, we, we got married. The Sunday after Thanksgiving."

"Holy…COW! Sarah shouted, avoiding profanity at the last second. "Well, that explains everything."

"Well I'll be damned!" Caroline exclaimed. She hopped up and hugged Sonny. "I _knew_ something was different," she said, slapping his chest before moving on to congratulate Brooke. Sonny reached into his pocket and produced two wedding bands. He gave Brooke hers. "We can finally wear these."

"I'm so happy for you," Olivia said softly.

"I'm sorry we—"

Ed waved off the apology, gave Sonny a half-handshake, half-hug, and then kissed Brooke's cheek. "Don't be sorry for a damn thing. Congratulations."

Everyone sat back down and chatted about the ceremony, performed by the priest at Sonny's family parish, and Sonny worrying that Olivia would somehow hear through the grapevine that he and Brooke had obtained a marriage license. At one point, Sarah drifted away from the table, phone in hand, and spent several minutes in the twins' room. When she returned, her cheeks were flushed with excitement.

"What are you so happy about?" Caroline asked.

"Brooke and Sonny, _duh_ ," Sarah retorted sassily.

Caroline sat back in her chair and sipped her drink. " _Mmmhmm_."

Sarah rolled her eyes at her grandmother and refilled her own glass. "To love!" She toasted to no one in particular.

Olivia, however, heard it, and tipped her glass toward Sarah and basked in the bliss of the moment. For tonight at least, all Tuckers were on cloud nine.

….

Starting at his collarbone, Olivia slowly ran a finger down Ed's chest. She stopped at his belly button, circled it, and, on the way back up, grazed his skin with her fingernails, just barely touching him, but, finally, rousing him from what had apparently been a pretty deep sleep.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered, her lips on his.

Though his eyes were closed, he puckered his lips for a kiss, and she obliged, draping herself on top of him, already feeling the heat of their shared arousal. After a few brief, chaste kisses, he explored her back with his hands and gently rolled her over so they were on their sides, facing each other.

Olivia smiled and traced his cheekbones. "He wakes," she murmured.  
"The wait is over," he joked, burying a hand in her hair and pressing her forehead to his all the while scooting closer so she could feel how ready he was for her. "Merry Christmas, baby." His kisses were firm and insistent, full of affection; Olivia could tell how much he loved her just from how earnestly he worked his mouth against hers and she hoped he felt the same way when she nudged him over, on his back once again, and took control for a little while.

Back on top, he was extra tender with his head-to-toe exploration of her body, even when he teased at her inner thigh, tickling her, escalating her pleasure to the point where she took his head in her hands and demanded, "I need you. _Now_."

He moved in and out of her almost in slow-motion, kissing her, telling her how much he loved the feel of her, and smirking when he felt her muscles clench and her body begin to writhe and shake beneath him.

"You'rethebestthingthatseverhappenedtome," he choked out, almost at his peak now, ready to spill everything he had to her at any second, but trying desperately to prolong this elusive sliver of time, this dizzying contentment, this feeling that nothing, ever, was going to go wrong in their lives as long as they could always get back to this point—eyes rolling back in their heads, utterly astounded at how their bodies could create _this much_ pleasure, euphoric with passion and love, at the absolute pinnacle of bliss…making love to her was very nearly an out-of-body experience.

They swallowed each other's moans and grunts, and Ed let almost all of his weight fall upon her after he came, managing only a raspy, " _Liv_ " and he suddenly became overcome with guilt, like he'd been caught in a selfish act because maybe he'd enjoyed their morning tryst just a little too much.

She was completely speechless. He lifted his head and looked at her eyes, wide as saucers, staring at the ceiling. Her arms were splayed back behind her head, and she was smiling.

"Liv, you okay? Lemme—" he moved to slide off her, but she stopped him.

"Stay here," she said breathlessly. "I'm…you're… _unreal_."

He smirked into her neck and started biting at her skin. "No, baby. You are."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	46. Chapter 46

**Forty-six.**

Fin gave Rollins and Savage a knowing look. Being summoned into the Lieutenant's office all at once like this meant either very good or very bad news. Savage, with his too-tight shirt pulling from his pants, his tie in a sloppy knot, and his curly strawberry blonde hair in desperate need of a cut grabbed what was left of his breakfast sandwich and went along. Carisi was already there, hands in his pockets, with a goofy simper on his face.

Fin caught Rollins' eye again.

At least this looked like good news.

"Hey Lieutenant," Rollins said, "How was your holiday?"

"So nice," Olivia replied. Despite being a private person, she whipped out her phone and showed a few pictures of Noah helping Maggie and Wyatt open their first Christmas presents. The living room had been pleasantly chaotic the morning Santa came, and the five Tuckers spent most of the day in their pajamas hanging out on the floor playing with the new toys. They made a huge breakfast—waffles, bacon, eggs, and sausage—Olivia even let the twins gnaw on a piece of waffle, but they were more interested in the mashed strawberries. There were too many special moments to choose a favorite, but high on her list was when they all dozed off watching _Home Alone 2_ in the big bed; they had to rewatch the sequel later, and Noah handled the remote control, pausing at various points to identify landmarks of "Ma'hattan."

She scrolled through quickly, figuring Fin and Savage had little interest, but they looked on, smiling. She stopped when she came to a selfie she took with Ed—they were pretending to be horrified at the red and green mess of torn wrapping paper and gift boxes in the background.

"That's a good one, Liv," Fin said.

She quickly put the phone face down, "It is…better not go farther," she quipped with just enough sass to make the four of them wonder if there were more risqué snaps in there somewhere. "Well," she put her palms on her desk, "Carisi? Ready?"

He grinned and showed his hands, the left one in particular. "Brooke and I are husband and wife."

"Wow, man, congratulations," Fin shook his hand. "Said to hell with the wedding?"

"It just felt right," Carisi said.

"I'm with ya," Rollins said, "Weddings, dresses, bridesmaids, best man…a lot of hassle for one day."

Savage offered an awkward fist bump. "Congrats, dude."

"So that's all," Olivia said, "Carisi is now officially spoken for, and…we have work to do. Rollins? Stay a minute and brief me on yesterday?"

"Sure." She waited for the men to leave and, without reading from her notes, gave the details about yesterday's only call—a rape in Central Park, ironically near the bridge featured in _Home Alone 2_ and also in broad daylight. "Whoever he is, seems like he gets off on the fact he's inches from being seen…caught."

"Description?"

"Not a very good one. Black coat, hat, short hair, either Caucasian or Hispanic, medium build medium height."

"Pull cams from that area. Daylight? We'll get something."

"Already going through the footage."

"Okay…how's the vic?"

"Recovering at home…she hasn't returned my calls."

"Why don't we go see her?"

"Sure."

In the car, Rollins and Benson turned to other subjects. Rollins reported her Christmas went well and she was grateful for the excuse to go into work to take a breather even though Jesse tearing through her presents and playing with her toys was adorable.

"Can I ask a favor, Lieutenant?"

"Of course."

"Jesse's birthday…was in November…but when this all went down with Declan, he asked me if I would wait until he was back to have the party—so he could start his life with her sort of at that point. So…would you want to, or, would you please bring Noah and the twins? The more people the better, and—"

"Amanda, say no more. Just tell me when and where."

"Next Saturday. The fifth. When is Noah's trip with Sarah?"

"They're leaving tomorrow actually. For two nights."

"D.C.?"

"Yes…more to ride on the train than anything. Noah's obsessed." Olivia proceeded to tell Rollins about Noah's potential move to a first grade math class, a decision they'd put on the backburner since the meeting at the school. "What do you think?" Olivia asked, truly wanting Rollins' opinion.

"I guess I'd do it," she answered, "If he's uncomfortable you can always pull him out."

"That's what Ed says."

"Well look at that!" Rollins said brightly, "Captain Tucker and I agree on something!"

Olivia quipped, "Weird feeling, right?"

"No kidding."

…

During the cab ride from Union Station to their hotel, Brooke sent a few pictures to her Dad and Olivia. Noah was next to her, sitting on Sarah's lap, looking out at Capitol Hill and the National Mall. Sarah narrated, explaining the big dome and pointing out the various Smithsonian Buildings. She promised they would visit at least two of them—Air and Space and Natural History—and Noah bounced up and down when she described the dinosaurs and the flight simulator.

Brooke smiled at her phone—as expected, the train ride rendered Noah awestruck, and he spent most of the three hours pressed against the window, staring into the landscape as they sped south. They bought snacks, but Brooke practically had to shove the food into Noah's mouth. At one point he did allow his escorts to take him through the train to explore other cars, but mostly he was content to recline in his window seat.

They arrived at their hotel, dropped their bags, and headed out to lunch. Sarah led them around DuPont Circle, searching for a Belgian pub she remembered from long ago, insisting they had the "best French Fries on Earth." Sure enough, she found the place, tucked into a block of row houses, and the three of them gorged on fries and mussels which Noah had never tasted before. He chewed the first bite slowly and then eagerly asked for more.

Rather than take a cab back to the Mall, they treated Noah to a subway ride. He opted to stand and remarked that this subway wasn't as "jumpy" as New York's. "It bigger, too!" He exclaimed.

"I think it's just not as crowded right now, Noey," Sarah said. "Wait til later at rush hour and you'll feel right at home."

Brooke noticed other people on the train sneaking glances, probably trying to make the connection among the three of them. She held Noah close to her by the shoulders and thought about the child she no longer carried, wrestling with the cruel irony with which she now lived. The miscarriage erased her initial indifference about having children; now, she desperately wanted a baby. She wanted the opportunity to raise a child and take him or her on trips like this with her husband. She wanted to watch a younger person make sense of the world through innocent, uncorrupted eyes.

The train pulled into a station and Noah lurched sideways. "Oops, Brookey! I step on your foot!" He crouched down and wiped the small, gravelly mark he'd left on the toe of her boot. "There ya go! All clean!"

"Thanks, No."

"Welcome."

"Noey, whaddya want to do first? Have a Shirley temple, fly the plane, or see the dinosaurs?"

Brooke rolled her eyes at Sarah already suggesting they have a drink. Also, she'd been glued to her phone and distracted since they boarded the train at Penn Station. She typically smothered Noah when they were together, but she'd ceded most child supervision duties to Brooke and taken a hands-off approach.

"Fly the plane!"

"You got it." Sarah tapped the class separating them from the cabbie. "Air and Space."

"So cool, Noah," Brooke said, "You'll get to tell your friends and school that you're a pilot!"

"I can be a pilot and p'lice?"

Sarah frowned, "Hey! I thought you were going to be my assistant?"

"I be that, too."

She wrapped him in a bear hug, "Oh, Noey. You're so smart you can do all that and then some."

Brooke shot them a relieved smile.

All of a sudden, Sarah seemed normal again.

…

Ed and Olivia admitted it was strange to arrive home with only the twins and, on cue, they were greeted with more photos from Brooke—Noah in the flight simulator followed by selfies of the three of them in front of the Capitol and the Washington monument. Ed texted back, thanking them and adding a reminder to "see Lincoln."

Earlier that day he and Carisi met for lunch and, among other things, Sonny offered to stay with the twins for a while that evening so Ed and Olivia could have some time alone. Without checking with his wife, he accepted the offer and kept the plan a surprise until Carisi showed up at their door that evening.

Olivia greeted him curiously, "Hey, Carisi…what's up?"

"Your child care for the evening has arrived," he said, deftly sliding between the doorjamb and the Lieutenant. Bewildered, Olivia stared at him as he made his way down the foyer and into the living room. He asked Ed about the twins' whereabouts and expressed mild disappointment that they were already down for the night.

"There's food, beer, soda," Ed said, "Monitor's here, bottles in the fridge, but we won't be that late. Diapers and everything here or in their room just in case. Thanks a lot. Call me if you need anything."

Ed grabbed Olivia's purse and her coat, helped her on with the trench and handed her the bag.

"Which shoes you want, Liv?" He asked, pulling on his own leather boots.

"I can get my shoes, but…what's going on?"

"Carisi offered to babysit. And we're going out."

"Oh, okay," she replied hesitantly, still a little stunned, "Um…thanks Carisi."  
"No problem, Lieu!" His feet were already propped on the coffee table and he was flipping through television channels.

Outside, Olivia inquired about their destination, assuming Ed had meticulously planned their evening, but he shrugged and replied, "I dunno. Can we…can we walk a little first?"

Olivia tightened her belt and reached into the pockets for her gloves which, thankfully, were there. She tugged them on and looped her arm through his. "Sure."

They strolled for several blocks surrounded by city sounds—car horns, chatter, music escaping from bars when a patron entered or exited. Through her peripheral vision Olivia noticed how proud and maybe a little boastful Ed looked as he walked with her on his arm, and she was glad she could make him feel that way.

"This is nice," he murmured at one point.  
"It is. I didn't realize how little time we've had for…this."

"I didn't either."

They crossed the street and approached a restaurant-filled block. Olivia recognized a place and suggested they go in.

"Sure," Ed agreed, "Getting a little cold."

They sat at the white marble bar and ordered drinks. Hearing "N'ero D'avola" caught Ed's attention. " _That's_ why this place looks familiar!"

"Hm?"

"This place. We've been here before."

Olivia didn't immediately make the connection, "I used to come here a lot…but it's been a while." The wheels turned in her head and, finally, she slowly nodded. "The trial."

"Yeah," he rubbed her back, "Kinda mixed memories, huh?"

Unknowingly, Olivia had led them into the restaurant where Tucker met her at the onset of Johnny D's trial, when she refused to deceive the courts about Noah's biological parentage. "You know what? No. Not anymore. That day…that…that _time_ …things were changing between us, and I knew it. I felt it."

"I did too," he said softly, "I didn't quite know what to do about it though."

"Neither did I."

"We figured it out."

"We sure did." Olivia took his hand and raised her glass. "Cheers to figuring it out."

Had she been an inexperienced recipient of the Ed Tucker flirty smirk she would have been knocked backwards at his expression. His eyes danced, his lips curled slightly upwards, and his rugged features softened. In that state, he was irresistible. She gently touched his glass with hers and met his lips with a tender kiss, rendering him unable to return the words of the toast.

…..

Even though the temperature was almost freezing, Sarah stepped out onto the balcony and called Hillary. She was still feeling the effects of the wine they drank with dinner and was grateful Brooke was there to take care of Noah's bedtime routine. Knowing Sonny's plans, they Face Timed earlier and now Noah was getting set up in the bathroom which had a huge walk-in shower and several different faucet attachments.

Sarah called not knowing whether she wanted Hillary to pick up or not. The last call was on Christmas Eve and it was a quick one, a "Merry Christmas," nothing more, but it heartened Sarah that Hillary called her rather than the other way around.

"Hey Sarah."

"Hey! I'm coming to you from our nation's capital!"

"Oh, yeah, cool! How is it?"

"Very political."

Hillary laughed a little. "To be expected."

"Yeah. Well, when are you coming back to New York?"

"Saturday."

"Oh. So are we."

Silence.

More silence.

Sarah wondered if Brooke had any cigarettes. Smoking a cigarette seemed to be the only decent reason for being on the balcony right now. She shivered.

"Plans for New Year's Eve?" Sarah finally asked.

"No. I don't do much anymore for that…gets a little out of control."

Sarah clenched her teeth. New Year's Eve. Kissing at midnight. She'd kissed Hillary. If Hillary agreed to plans…would that be a tacit indication of complicity? She opted to sidestep the issue. "Yep. Total amateur night. But, um, Brooke and Sonny are having brunch the next day if you want to join. You're invited."

"Maybe. Depends how I feel. I have to work the next day and I may just want to lay around."

"Need a holiday to recover from the holiday, right?"

"Right."

Another round of silence.

"Listen, Hill, um, I'm sorry about, uh, what happened the night before you left. I shouldn't have done that…without, well—"

"Sarah, you didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do."

"I didn't?" Sarah instantaneously felt lighter.

"Let's talk when I get back, okay? I'm, um, well, family's around and it's not really the right time."

"Okay…I'll…I'll see you this weekend."

….

Whoever was preying on women in Central Park remained elusive and relentless. Since the first attack the day after Christmas, there had been one assault per day, and all hands were on deck at Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. The current working theory was the perp was a park employee and, therefore, knew the landscape and also could move around the pathways without causing suspicion. Olivia ordered increased uniform presence, determined to prevent another attack. The rest of the squad was simply annoyed—the guy operated in the most conspicuous of places. How could he remain on the loose for this long?

"It's almost sundown," Rollins said, peering out the window, "He's taking the day off?"

"Or changing his MO," Carisi muttered.

"Keep the unis there," Olivia said, "And we need to make sure we get the word out, keep everyone vigilant. Spook him into making a mistake."

"Right."

"I'm going to run through the employee list again, and the lists from the Tavern and the boat house…the ice rink…we gotta get this guy." Determined to make an arrest, Rollins stalked out of the office, leaving Carisi with Olivia.

"Hey, Carisi, thanks so much for babysitting the other night. It was nice to get out and have some adult time."

"No problem, Lieu. Anytime. Maybe next time they'll even be awake."

"Feel free to come by at five a.m."

Carisi smirked, "Yeah sure, maybe pass on that for now. Hey—did Captain Tucker run the whole vow renewal thing by you?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow, "No. What renewal thing?"

"He mentioned you were thinkin about doing that, and I told him Brooke and I wouldn't mind if you did that when we have our party…we have that place reserved and we know most of the same people."

She thanked him with a smile but declined, "I want that party to be about you and Brooke. _Only_ about you and Brooke. And, I'm sure if you really think about it, you want that, too."

"Yeah, yeah…you're probably right." He turned to leave. "Listen, uh, I want to take some vacation soon…get her to an island or something."

" _Staten_ Island?" Olivia joked.

"Good one, Lieu."

"You have all kinds of days," she said, "Just put in the paperwork."

"Will do. Hey…what time do they get in today?"

"Early. I think just before noon." Olivia replied, "Miss your wife?"

"Yep," he answered without hesitation. "And looking forward to the New Year."

"All good things this year."

Carisi nodded, "Gotta keep thinkin' that. All good things."

…..

Hearing the knock at the door, Sarah, assuming it was Hillary, did a little skip and rushed to open it only to stare, gaping, at the person standing in front of her. His hair was cut short and his normally ruddy face was slightly pale and also thinner, but it was him.

Jeff.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you, too, my dear."

She couldn't help but grin. They didn't work out as husband and wife, but there was an undeniable chemistry between them and it instantly resurfaced. "Sorry, uh, come in. Drink?"

"I've been drinking since noon, but sure."

"Noon, huh? Some things never change."

Jeff eyed the empty bottles in the recycling and the full ones in the liquor cabinet. "Seems to be true."

"What would you like?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you're having."

Sarah poured two vodkas over ice and handed a glass to her ex-husband.

"You look good," he said.

"So do you."

"Everything good here? Work?"

"Yep. Great, actually."

"I'm glad," he looked at her with pure sincerity in his eyes, "This is where you belong. Killing it on Wall Street. New York. I knew you'd never be happy in Philly."

"How about you?" Sarah asked, deflecting the attention. "It's the off-season. What are you up to?"

"Today, watching the alma mater. Made it to a bowl game which is rare, as you know."

"Temple made it to a bowl game?"

Jeff laughed knowingly. He hadn't expected Sarah to be paying attention to college football and especially not Temple. "They did. And my old roommate, he was in the wedding, Luke?"

"Of course! How's Luke?"  
"Great. He just bought a loft in DUMBO and invited a bunch of us there for the long weekend. An Owl win and NYE in NYC."

"You're not going to Times Square are you?"

"No way." Jeff had nearly downed the vodka and Sarah generously refilled his glass. They both were surprised at how easily they'd fallen in to their old way of bantering, but it also reinforced the mistake they'd made trying to turn their relationship as drinking buddies into a functional marriage. Still, myriad emotions were bubbling to the surface.

"You, uh, seeing anyone?" He asked.

"No. No time, really. You?"

"A few dates. Nothing serious."

Sarah smiled apologetically. "I really am sorry, Jeff."

He reached for her hand. "Nothing to be sorry about, Sare. It was just…not meant to be. And I think we both knew that."

"We did." She looked down. He still had not let go of her hand. "Jeff—"

"But it wasn't all bad," he said softly, inching toward her.

"No it wasn't," she replied, whispering to hide the shakiness in her throat.

His hand drifted up her arm, under the sleeve of her t-shirt, and he massaged her shoulder. "Do you…you think we can maybe…revisit the non-bad part…for old time's sake?"

Sarah could not believe her life. A week ago she was making out with Hillary and now her ex-husband was in her apartment seeking casual sex. _What the hell_ , she thought. However, she consented with a warning, "This isn't getting back together sex."

"I know…I just…I didn't come here for this, but seeing you, Sare, you're…we were so _good_ together."

"We were." She set her glass on the counter and tugged on his belt buckle. "Let's see if we still are."

…...

The sun was setting when Jeff decided it was time for him to get back to Brooklyn. He and Sarah kissed a little more and teased one another under the covers before she playfully shoved him out of her bed.

"Go before I marry you again."

She followed him into the main living space wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. Shirtless, he helped himself to a glass of water and then another and muttered something about staying hydrated to keep up with his buddies. Sarah pressed the home button on her phone and saw several messages from an assortment of people. She tossed the phone on the couch. As soon as Jeff was gone, she would get back to everyone.

"Mind if I use your bathroom before I go?"

"Not at all."

Sarah hummed an improvised tune as she pranced around the kitchen clearing their glasses and stowing random items in the proper places. She was so involved with her own thoughts that she didn't hear the knock on the door at first. It was light and faint, almost as if it were a neighbor's guest rather than hers.

"You want me to get that?" Jeff asked.

"Sure."

He opened the door and smiled at Hillary who stared at him curiously.

"Hey," Jeff said to her then looked back into the apartment. "Sare?"

The look on Hillary's face nearly caused Sarah to burst into tears. There was Jeff, still bare chested, and there she was, barely clothed, and there was Hillary, fresh from JFK, arriving for what she probably thought was going to, at the very least, be a heart-to-heart chat between good friends. Sensing something was awry, Jeff plucked his shirt from the armchair, put it on, and retraced their steps to the bedroom to retrieve his shoes.

When he reappeared, Sarah went on with introductions, trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy. "Hillary, this is Jeff, my ex-husband," she said sheepishly.

"Oh, hi," Hillary shook his hand, "Nice to meet you. I…I came at a bad time. Sorry. Why don't you call me later, Sarah?" She backed out of the doorway slowly.

"I'm actually on my way out," Jeff said.

"It's not a bad time," Sarah insisted, realizing she was being ridiculous. Short of having Hillary walk in on them having sex, this was an absolute worst-case scenario.

"Yeah, it kind of is," Hillary replied, eyeing Sarah warily. "I'll…see you next week at work." This time she didn't back away slowly, she made a beeline for the elevator.

Jeff, thinking he'd figured out why things had been so awkward, closed the door and regarded his ex-wife with an amused expression. "She works for you?"

"She works at my firm, yes."

"That'll be an awkward Monday morning encounter next week."

"Tuesday," Sarah corrected.

"Huh?"

She opened a cabinet and grabbed a fresh glass, filled it with ice, and more vodka. "I don't go back to work until Tuesday."

"Oh…yeah…okay, well, Happy New Year, Sarah." He gave her a friendly peck on the cheek. "Take care of yourself."

"You too."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	47. Chapter 47

**Forty-six.**

The first course of the anniversary meal was served at the coffee table where Ed had placed a large platter full of various cheeses, crackers, and fruit, all carefully laid out and labeled. Olivia attempted to read the fine print without her glasses. Seeing her strain to make out the text, Ed handed over her usual pair—the thick black ones that, despite several drops and tosses never seemed to break or get bent out of shape.

Next came the wine—a Cabernet which supposedly complimented each cheese, or so Ed had been told by the clerk at the market. He poured two servings in stemless glasses and brought Noah sparkling grape juice in an identical glass. Maggie and Wyatt were propped on the couch, drinking their evening bottles which were held at the proper angle by strategically placed receiving blankets and also the twins' own hands. They were almost to the point where they could go a whole feeding without losing their grip.

Ed long ago turned off the television and streamed some type of new age instrumental station from the large speakers. He took a quick glance around, making sure everything was in order before he took his seat next to Olivia.

"No, c'mon over here bud. With us."

"I'm drawin' Daddy."

"Just for a second. For the anniversary, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" He jumped up and stood in the space between the coffee table and the couch. Ed placed the sparkling drink in his hand and he held it gingerly, staring into the bubble. "It fizzy!"

"Yep. Hang on. You can try it in a minute."

Ed left his and Olivia's glasses on the table and held her hands. Olivia's eyes filled with tears as soon as he started speaking. "Two years."

She echoed him in a barely audible voice. "Two years."

"Liv…I…I'm so glad you gave me the chance to love you. I'm so glad…you let me love Noah and I'm so glad you and I decided to go with our gut and have Maggie and Wyatt…even when everyone else probably thought we were crazy. And now, with both of them crawling, they probably still do. But you know what?" He temporarily released one of her hands to brush tears from her cheeks. "I love being crazy with you. I feel like…like we can do anything together."

Olivia sniffled and managed a hushed, "We can."

"I love you so much."

"I love you."

"And, Noah, my boy," he cupped the boy's head and held it to his chest, "My _son_. Pal, I love you more than you'll ever know."

A little freaked out by his Daddy's sentimentality and his mother's tears, Noah's eyes darted back and forth between his parents and he let himself be snuggled without a word. Olivia saw his puzzled expression and ran the back of an index finger along his cheek. "Sweet boy, it's okay."

"Itsa special day," Noah whispered, remembering Ed's preparatory pep talks.

"Yes it is," Olivia cooed, blinking back the last of her tears. There was so much to tell Noah, so much to explain, but, at five, he was still too young to benefit from the whole story; Olivia wasn't sure if she was looking forward to that conversation or not. For now, she would appreciate his innocence. "It's the end of twenty-eighteen and the beginning of the new year, twenty-nineteen."

"Yeah," Noah said, brightening a little at the numbers, something he could easily comprehend, "We cheers now?"

"Sure bud. What should we cheers to?"

"Mommy and Daddy!" And Wyatt and Maggie!"

His selflessness touched Olivia. "What about Noah?"

"To Noah!"

The three of them clinked glasses not once but twice, for Noah relished the special treat of being on apparent equal footing with the adults. They sipped, munched on the snacks, took a break to read and sing to Maggie and Wyatt before placing them in their cribs, and then went to the table and had the main course—barbeque chicken flatbread.

"This is perfect," Olivia remarked, "Nice and simple," she took a quick bite, "And very good. You made this?"

"I did. Noah helped."  
"I put on the sauce, Mommy! Spread it nice and smooth!"

"You did a great job, Noah. Thank you. Hey…let's stay on the couch. Maybe…watch the New Year's shows?" She looked expectantly at Ed, wondering if he would be insulted by abandoning the table _and_ turning on the television, but he happily relocated everything back to the coffee table.

They let Noah stay up as long as he could. He grasped the importance of midnight, but by ten he was nodding off and thirty minutes later he was completely conked out on the chaise end of the sofa. Olivia kissed him several times all over his face and whispered, "Happy New Year, sweet boy" before Ed took him to bed.

"You know," Ed whispered seductively when he returned, coming up behind her, "We have never once, as long as we've been together, had clothes on when the clock struck midnight on New Years' Eve."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow, "Now that's a tradition I want to keep." She turned around and rested on her knees so she could kiss him more easily. "Happy Anniversary, Ed. This was perfect tonight. Absolutely perfect."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Because if it wasn't I'll—"

She grabbed the back of his head and kissed him hard. " _Perfect_ ," she insisted, sliding her hands between his sweater and his undershirt. "Speaking of perfect…" She kneaded his chest and kissed his neck. In response, he gasped and held her head to him.

"Liv, you…"

"I what?"

He placed his hands over her ears and gently held her back so he could look into her eyes. "Do you know I still think about you every second of the day?" He asked in his softest yet extra raspy voice. "Do you know that? Just like I did when we first started seein' each other. Every second."

Olivia didn't verbally respond. She got up and walked around the couch and into his arms. They fell into a deep kiss in the center of their living room.

"I'm obsessed with you," he managed to add.

Finally, she pulled her mouth off of his and took his hand and jerked her head in the direction of their bedroom. "Show me."

….

The Carisi kitchen had seen better nights. In an effort to get as much prepared as possible before their guests arrived, Brooke and Sonny spent most of their New Years' Eve cooking. A potato casserole was simmering in the slow cooker, mini-quiches were ready to be put in the oven, pancake and waffle batter was mixed, the fruit tray was prepared, and the punch only needed a bottle of champagne and it would be ready for consumption.

"I'll clean up," Sonny offered.

Brooke stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. "I'll help. It'll go faster. Then…let's get blankets and go up to the roof."

"The roof?"

"Just for a little while. We'll be able to see the fireworks."

"Sounds like a plan."

They weren't the only people with that idea but they found a spot to sit down and huddle together for the final ten minutes of 2018.

"Was this a stupid idea?" Brooke asked.

"Nah," Sonny adjusted their blankets so no outside air could get in, "I like it. New tradition."

"So, Olivia doesn't know the Judge is coming tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"Do you think she'll be mad? My Dad surprising her like that? With something so personal?"

"I don't think so. Lieu…well, I didn't know her before like Fin, but, since she's been with Captain Tucker, she's opened up a little. And we're family. She's all about family."

"And I guess my Dad wouldn't arrange it if he weren't positive she'd be on board."

"Nope."

Sonny shifted again.  
"You alright?"

He pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm very much alright. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow…the New Year, that is…I like the idea, the fresh start," he lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in to speak directly in her ear, "with my wife."

"I like the sound of that."

"I _really_ like saying it."

….

"Ed, please, c'mon," Olivia tried to get a hold on his hips, his buttocks, anything to get her husband to pick up the pace. They'd teased and tantalized one another for almost an hour before Ed finally worked himself inside of her, but right when Olivia was on the verge of climaxing, he slowed down, stopped trying to kiss and nip at her neck and earlobes and instead snuck peeks at the nightstand.

"Hang on."

Olivia, caught between trying to savor her pleasure and wondering what in the hell had gotten into her husband threw her head from side to side, damp strands of hair slapping against her face and the pillows. "Ed, baby, _what_ —"

Just abruptly as he'd slowed down, he resumed his thrusts, massaged her breasts, started kissing her throat again, and finally locked eyes as he braced himself on his palms, getting more aggressive, a determined yet pleasure-filled expression on his face.

"I want you to come at midnight," he rasped. "I want you to come for two years."

Instantly she went from being baffled and annoyed to awestruck and numb. This whole time—the extended foreplay, the intentional near-pause, the perceived distraction—it was all for her, for them, for him to somehow find yet another way to demonstrate how much he loved her, how much her cherished her, how much—

"Oh. My _Goddddddddddddddd_!"

His smirk was proud, cocky, almost devilish, and he held her as she rode out the orgasm, still maintaining his rhythm for what seemed like interminable seconds until he, too, succumbed to the climax and began softening inside her.

"HappyNewYearAnniversaryChristmasEasterEverything, Liv," he mumbled incoherently into her neck. And then, apparently having not had quite enough of her slithered a little lower and started licking at her breasts. It was sloppy, they were both sweaty and sticky, but Ed didn't want an inch of air separating them.

"Is this normal?" Olivia panted.

"Is what normal?"

She felt his lips move against her skin and she shivered, anticipating his next move was to go even lower. "Do other people do it this good?"

"Probably not," he replied assuredly, "And too fucking bad for them."

…

Equidistant between the Carisis and the Tuckers was another Tucker, Sarah, who rang in 2019 alone at her kitchen island, staring at the digital clock on the stove. In front of her was a bottle of Prosecco which she consumed out of a regular tumbler. She'd spent the entire day in reset mode but soon spiraled into an abyss of self-loathing.

She only considered sleeping with Jeff a mistake because Hillary had shown up. When she admitted this to herself, she immediately balked at how selfish she was. Had Hillary's arrival been thirty minutes later, she might have slept with her, too. Two different partners in the same day. Several times she found herself muttering, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Nevertheless, she steadfastly resolved to see Hillary before going back to work; however, she didn't want to embark on some reckless, desperate-looking pursuit. Sarah constantly checked her phone, hoping for a text or a missed call, she sent texts to other people just to make sure her service was working, but Hillary remained incommunicado, and Sarah knew she would have to be the one to initiate their next conversation.

The trip to D.C. was a total blur. She was sure Noah had the time of his life, but she'd intended to lavish him with attention over the course of their two days away and that didn't happen. Both nights, as she and Brooke hung out and watched old reruns, she almost confided in her sister, but each time she reconsidered at the last minute mostly because she didn't know how to describe how she felt, and she assumed Brooke would be more judgmental than Olivia.

What she told Olivia was the truth—she kissed Hillary because it felt right, but being with Jeff felt right, too. Yet when she put herself in a position where she was actually committed to Hillary, the physical attraction she had for her lessened a bit. The exact same thing happened when she tried to settle into married life. The relationship wasn't exciting anymore.

"What the serious fuck," Sarah muttered to the Prosecco, "I guess I'm just destined to be the bi-whore of fucking Manhattan."

She finished the bottle in the early hours of the morning, washed four Advil down with a glass of water, and went to bed. Prior to closing her eyes, she set four alarms.

Family brunch was being served at eleven.

…

The first few moments of New Years Day brunch were taken up by a volley of compliments. The loft was beautiful. The culinary presentation was immaculate. The twins looked adorable in their "Happy New Year" thermal long-sleeved tees. Noah had one, too, but since returning from Washington, D.C. he refused to wear anything other than one of his two Abraham Lincoln t-shirts. The statue and the memorial captivated Noah, and Brooke reported he stood, staring up at the likeness of the Sixteenth President for at least fifteen minutes. He returned home with the t-shirts and a Lincoln biography. That evening before he went to bed, he watched Lincoln YouTube clips. Ed joked that, in addition to first grade math, he would probably be invited to a middle school history class.

"Lincoln's your favorite President, Noah?" Sonny asked.

"Yep! Honest Abe! He called that 'cause he's nice to his friends." Oblivious to the smiles directed his way, Noah skipped into the living room and inspected Brooke's Christmas tree ornaments.

Ed and Olivia finished extracting the twins from their carriers and both Sonny and Brooke cracked up at their tiny Adidas sneakers—pink for Maggie and navy for Wyatt.

"Santa brought them," Olivia said.

"They are too cute," Brooke gushed. She took Wyatt from Ed and stood him on the counter. Wyatt stomped his feet. "You like those new kicks, huh big boy?" More kicking ensued and he smiled, revealing the two bottom teeth he'd recently cut. "Have they been cranky?" Brooke asked.

"Maggie more than Wyatt," Olivia reported, "But surprisingly not anywhere near what we expected. These are easy babies."

"Oh, man, happy anniversary!" Brooke suddenly exclaimed. "We got you a card," she looked around, "Son, where's the card."

"Behind you."

Keeping Wyatt in her arms, Brooke found the card and handed it to Olivia. "It seems like…I almost can't remember a time when you and Dad weren't married."

"It does seem longer," Olivia replied. "I'll wait for your Dad to open it."

Soon, stream of guests began arriving, most of whom Olivia had not expected to see. Barba showed up. Rollins and Jesse. Declan. Fin. Savage. Caroline. Ed's brother and sister. The lack of Carisi's side of the family _was_ expected. Brooke and Sonny were heading to Staten Island for dinner later that day.

But the person whose presence raised Olivia's eyebrows most was Judge Linden.

"Hello, Olivia," she said with her usual half-smile, accentuated by dark red lipstick, "And happy anniversary."

Across the room, Sarah was talking with Detective Savage and her uncle when she saw the judge. "I wonder why she's here."

"Your Dad has a little surprise," Uncle John said.

Sarah left them in a huff and grabbed Brooke by the arm, "What's the judge doing here?"

"Oh, gosh, I guess Dad didn't tell you."

"You _guess_? Obviously not."

"Well, I found out from Sonny. He and Dad worked this out while we were gone. They're doing a vow renewal."

Sarah wanted to launch into a litany of _omigods_. She wanted to swoon and grin and struggle to contain herself, but her heart was devoid of all ability to be happy for other people. "Wow. And Livvie doesn't know."

Brooke squinted and dramatically felt her sister's forehead. "Hungover?"

"No, silly. Well, maybe a little. Hit the Prosecco kinda hard."

"What did you end up doing?"

"Just went out with a few people from work," Sarah lied, "I was home before midnight. What did _you_ do, Mrs. Carisi?"

"Watched the fireworks on the roof."

"And then made some in bed?" The teasing glint returned to Sarah's eyes and the buoyancy was back in her voice, almost like she remembered how to be herself again.

Brooke responded with a casual, "Yep," and went to greet the judge, leaving Sarah slack-jawed in the middle of the kitchen.

….

Olivia could only make small talk for so long.

"Judge Linden…I…I didn't know you were coming." She finally asked, trying to be as polite and gracious as possible.

"I think, maybe it's time to say hello to your husband."

"Sure." She led Judge Linden over to Ed. He had been chatting with the two people with whom he was the least comfortable—Barba and Fin. "Ed? Hey, honey." Fin and Barba scurried away, "Judge Linden's here."

Ed shook her hand, "Happy New Year, your honor."

"Same to you."

Olivia waited patiently for more information.

"Captain, I'll let you explain why I'm here."

Ed held Olivia's hand, "Will you marry me again, Liv?"

A huge grin slowly formed on Olivia's face, her eyes lit up, and she glanced all around the room, suddenly understanding why their informal family brunch had become a small party. "Of course I will."

Ed and Sonny had informed the guests that cocktails would be served until noon at which time the brief ceremony would take place. Judge Linden set herself up in front of the largest windows, and everyone but Olivia and Ed took their seats.

"Noah, come here, bud," Ed motioned him up front, "Stand up here with us."

The five-year-old was on the rug with Maggie and Wyatt and looked reluctant to leave.

Brooke scooped Maggie, handed her to Sonny, and took Wyatt into her arms, "Go ahead, No. We'll sit here with the babies right up front."

"Kay."

Olivia and Ed held hands and gazed at each other while Judge Linden recited her script, filled with words like affirmation, commitment, love, and trust. When she got to the part where she asked if either Ed or Olivia wanted to begin their prepared vows, Olivia froze. Being surprised was nice, but it hadn't occurred to her that she would have to ad lib a heartfelt passage.

Knowing he'd put his wife in a tough spot, Ed volunteered to go first. "Liv, every morning when I wake up, even when it's at four-thirty with the twins—" he paused while everyone laughed politely, "—I have to, for a split second, remind myself that it's real. That you really did marry me two years ago. That you really do love me. That I actually get another chance to be a father to this little guy," he gave Noah a little hug, "and to those beautiful babies. I love you more every day, Liv. I am so proud of us. And I look forward to reminding myself for the next million mornings that all of this is ours."

Shocked she wasn't completely drenched in tears, Olivia swallowed and calmly began speaking. "Over there," she nodded to the mantle, "Is our Christmas card. I—" her eyes filled with tears now and her voice started to tremble. Ed held her hands more tightly, encouraging her. "I have… _a Christmas card_ to send. With my family. My beautiful family, and that one card, that one picture, symbolizes so much…deciding on what colors we were going to wear and shopping for the twins' outfits, and you tying Noah's tie since he refuses to wear a clip-on because you wear a real tie, and our smiles, so pure, so joyful, we are so happy…this marriage…us…it is all I've ever wanted."

Ed disregarded protocol and kissed her before Judge Linden continued with the script. Since they'd been married Olivia was less and less hesitant about publicly showing emotion, but Ed saw her verging on full blown sobs and opted for the preemptive smooch.

"You jumped the gun a little, Captain," the Judge said, "But, it's fine to go out of order." The rest of the ceremony was quick and uniform. "Ed and Olivia, you have agreed to continue to live by the vows you took two years ago. Your family and friends have witnessed your steadfast commitment to one another. Go forth and continue to strengthen your marriage with all our blessings. Ed, you may, once again, kiss your bride."

It got quiet all of a sudden, so Caroline's snarky remark was heard by all, "Who woulda thought _Eddie_ would be the one to step out of line?"

As if on cue, Maggie and Wyatt let loose a barrage of shrieks and squeals.

Ed, his lips still on Olivia's, whispered, "Let's get our kiddos, huh?"

"Mommy! I'm _hungry_!" Noah hugged Olivia's leg.

"Yeah," she said softly, patting Noah's head to placate him but keeping her eyes on and responding to Ed. "Let's get our kiddos."

From her spot on the sofa, Sarah saw a troubling pattern. Sonny and Brooke sat close together smiling and talking. The other SVU detectives were finishing their drinks, huddled together in a circle, probably working out a schedule of how they were going to split duties on this particular holiday. John and Margie were denying Caroline a third mimosa. Barba had already politely skipped out, citing a second set of brunch plans.

Everyone belonged somewhere. Everyone had a niche. Everyone, one way or another, was sharing the day with someone else.

Except Sarah.

Very quickly, she invented a prior engagement and left the party.

….

 **#Tuckson**


	48. Chapter 48

**Forty-eight.**

Ed dropped a glass of water on Olivia's nightstand on his way into the bedroom. He performed the simple ritual nightly without a word, and the domestic simplicity of it all filled Olivia's heart with joy and contentment.

"Thank you," she said softly.

He merely winked in response.

"Not talking any more tonight?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

He settled in under the covers next to her and laid his head on her chest. "I talked _so_ much today."

Olivia played with his hair, "Yes you did."

Ed hummed softly in response to her caresses. The day, while special and fun, had been exhausting. He was looking forward to getting back into their regular routine; Noah had one more day of vacation, but Olivia was returning to her regular work schedule and the twins were going back to day care. Ed planned to take Noah to replenish his school supply stash and have lunch at the pub.

"Do you think Sarah's okay?" Olivia asked. Ed was going to have to muster a few more words. "She left so abruptly."

"I dunno what's going on with her," he grumbled.

"Maybe the holidays make her sad," Olivia speculated, "Brings back memories of Jeff."

"Maybe she misses Hillary," Ed deadpanned.

"Hillary's back now. I thought we'd see her today."

"That would have been uncomfortable."

Olivia sat up, so Ed was also forced to move. "Why's that?"

"Does Sarah know that I know?"

"Well, she probably assumes I told you."

"But she and I haven't talked about it," Ed pointed out, "So it woulda been weird, all of us kind of dancing around whatever's going on with them."

Olivia had not given Ed enough credit; she predicted his discomfort was with the relationship itself, not the fact that Sarah created a gap in communication. "And Hillary most likely doesn't know Sarah has told anyone."

"Right."

Olivia tossed her untouched files on her nightstand and turned off the lamp. The room was bathed in moonlight; neither she nor he had bothered to shut the blinds. Ed closed his eyes and nestled back between her collarbone and the top of her breast; he held her tightly at the waist.

"I love you, Ed," she whispered. Deep down she knew he was having trouble understanding what Sarah was going through, and, consequently, was frustrated he couldn't un-complicate it for her. "Thank you for today."

"Sorry I put ya on the spot with the vows."

"Intentional?"

"Well, kinda…it was either surprise you or tell you about the vows," he looked up at her lazily, "And I knew you could handle it. You're quick on your feet, Lieutenant. And smart."

"I got lucky with the card being almost right in front of me…but, Ed, it's so true…everything I said. You have no idea how much sending those cards means to me."

"Yeah I do. And we have, what, eighteen more years of 'em?"

"Noah'll be twenty-three. Do you really think he'll want to participate?"

"Well, who's that family Sarah was talking about?"

"Kardashians?"

"Yeah. Them. We could do somethin' like that."

He was mumbling, so Olivia couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. She dared to chuckle a bit. "I'll let you handle that."

"Kay."

"Goodnight, Ed."

"Night, Liv. You want me to move?"

She resumed making tracks through his hair. "Absolutely not."

….

For the third night in a row, sleep eluded Sarah Tucker. She tossed and turned in her bed for hours before opting for the sofa and late night reruns. _Full House_ held her attention for a while, and she briefly entertained the fantasy of her entire family living under one roof like the Tanners. However, the distraction was short-lived and her mind inevitably wandered to Hillary.

After leaving Sonny and Brooke's loft, Sarah did not go directly to Hillary's apartment. She stopped for a drink, walked a few blocks, and then stopped for another. She needed courage, but she also needed clarity; she could not extemporize this conversation. At the second bar, she sent Hillary a text, seeking permission to stop by. Hillary told her she could, and Sarah had one more drink before heading that way, not wanting to appear overeager.

It was awkward at first. A lot of uncomfortable pauses and meaningless small talk. Hillary offered her a drink and looked stunned when Sarah turned it down.

"Do you want to sit down?" Hillary asked.

"Sure."

"And you're really sure you don't want anything to drink?"

"Yes…well, maybe in a few minutes," Sarah forced a grin. "Look, I don't really know what to do here. But, the main thing is, I don't want work to be difficult for you."

"Or for you."

Sarah brushed off the concern, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"I don't think you are." This was the boldest statement Hillary had ever uttered to Sarah and she recoiled, stunned at her own show of courage.

Relenting, Sarah seemed to melt into the corner of the sofa, "You're right. I'm not fine. First of all, I'm sorry that you had to see Jeff and I…like that. He was in town…stopped by…and, well, we…got into our old routine. Drinks, a little convo, sex. That's what we were. That's why our marriage didn't work. I think. We were friends with benefits."

"And what are we?" Hillary asked softly.

"I don't know. I really don't know," Sarah murmured, "Still friends, I hope."

This answer didn't satisfy Hillary. She tucked her shoulder-length brown hair behind her ears and summoned more of her newfound nerve. "What…what happened at your apartment…that wasn't exactly a _just friends_ type of thing."

Sarah screwed up her face, trying to pinpoint and articulate exactly how she was feeling, but everything was jumbled and tangled. "I think one thing, one issue I'm having is…I never thought about women, you know, in that way…and that whole night I had this attraction to you, like I've had for men, and I was a little drunk and acted on the urge."

"Drunk," Hillary echoed softly. When she was drunk she called old friends or posted sappy Tweets, she didn't initiate make out sessions with girls, so she didn't accept that even a partial reason for the kiss was intoxication.

"That's not why I did it," Sarah clarified, reading her mind, "It's what let me do it. We've gotten so close and…I can't say that about anyone else other than my family. I like being close to you. I love having a friend. I honestly don't know if I'm ready to try and make us more than friends."

"Because I'm not a man?" Hillary asked, tears in her eyes, "Or because you aren't feeling like you felt when you kissed me?"

Hillary and Sarah had had several conversations about past relationships, and Hillary always talked about boyfriends. She assumed Hillary would be just as conflicted as she was about seeing herself as part of a same-sex couple.

"There is this…love for you," Sarah told her, honesty oozing from her blue eyes. "I don't know how that translates moving forward…I don't know what kind of love it is…and now I sound like a self-help book." The mood was too heavy; Sarah felt obligated to lighten it, even just for a moment.

However, Hillary didn't follow suit. She fiddled with the stitching on her jeans and mumbled, "I was jealous of you…in Argentina."

"Ah," Sarah waved her hand, "That was nothing."

"At first," Hillary continued as if Sarah hadn't said anything, "I thought it was because I wanted to be more like you, so carefree. So…alive. So willing to go have fun and not worry about consequences. But then, after you kissed me, I realized I was wrong. I wanted to be the one you were out dancing with and watching the sun rise with." She stopped abruptly, feeling herself starting to sound whiny rather than sentimental.

Sarah jumped up and wedged herself into the chair next to her. She put a hand on Hillary's cheek. "I didn't know," she said softly.

"How would you have known?" Hillary's eyes fell. "I don't know either…but…I don't want to lose your friendship. It's…it's important to me."

"You'll never lose it." Sarah was gently caressing her face now, "Never."

Hillary closed her eyes and, this time, she initiated the kiss. Sarah refrained from getting playful like she'd done before and let Hillary take control. They fell backwards into the cushion, pausing every once in a while to smile at each other.

During one pause, Sarah whispered, "I want to touch you." She was on fire with passion, longing for more contact, desperately wanting to feel Hillary's hands on her skin.

Hillary took an extra second, bit her lip, and swallowed. "Okay."

Sarah tentatively slid her hand under Hillary's sweatshirt, looking into her eyes for consent.

"It's okay," Hillary said, "I'm okay."

There was a yearning in her voice that assured Sarah she was telling the truth. Her skin was soft, supple, and Sarah would have never predicted that handling another woman's breast would be so satisfying, so…erotic.

Hillary sighed, "That feels so good."

"Yeah," Sarah reached behind her to unclasp her bra. "Tell me…tell me if you want me to stop."

"Don't stop."

But they did stop. Nerves supplanted lust. Their deep kisses became pecks. They sat together, shirts on but bras unhooked, and took deep breaths, unsure of what to say. Sarah made up an excuse to leave, said she'd promised to stay at her Dad's apartment while he took Olivia out for New Years' dinner. She and Hillary promised work wouldn't be weird. They hugged goodbye. And Sarah went home.

…

Noah spread the contents of the plastic shopping bag on the pub table. He lined up the packages of pencils, markers, erasers, graph paper, and airplane stickers (a special treat) in two neat rows. He stuck his lips out in concentration.

"This is pretty good stuff."

"Just pretty good?" Ed asked with mock disappointment.

"It GREAT!"

"Ah, alright, that's better."

"Thank you for all this GREAT STUFF!"

Josh the waiter delivered their drinks and was very impressed with Noah's stash. "Wow! All set to go back to school tomorrow?"

"Yep! I'm gonna do big kid math!"

Josh raised his eyebrows, "Oh yeah?"

"Got ourselves a smart kid here," Ed boasted. "He's moving up two grades for math starting tomorrow."

Josh congratulated them, genuinely happy for his regular customers. They ordered cheeseburgers and while they waited for the food to arrive, Ed talked with Noah about his big day tomorrow, double checking that his son was indeed prepared for the change.

"So, bud, whaddya think is gonna happen in math tomorrow?"

"Somethin' with numbers. Maybe lines," Noah expertly replied.

"And you know…the kids in your class are staying in your class. They're not going with ya."

"They stay in baby math!"

Ed grinned. "Prolly shouldn't call it baby math, bud. But…you tell the teacher if you're not happy in the class, okay? And tell Mommy and Daddy when we pick you up."

"Kay."

"I love you, Noah. I'm so proud of you."

Noah all but ignored him and held up the package of markers, "Daddy, will you open this?"

"Sure, pal." Noah's growing independence tugged at Ed's heartstrings and he had to swallow a lump in his throat. "Whatever you need."

…..

The undercover operation was nixed before it got underway. Rollins was walking along the path near the arch at 110th Street, ready to lure the perp when a teenage boy emerged from another walkway screaming for help. Rollins identified herself as a police officer, and the boy told her he'd just seen a man drag a woman into a nearby wooded area. Uniformed officers and the squad were on the scene within minutes and they fanned out, searching for the rapist and his latest victim.

Olivia stepped carefully through unkempt brush, her gun drawn, her eyes wide and alert. Snow and twigs broke under her feet. She could see her breath. And, as she rounded a bend in the overgrown path, she saw a man, squirrely and dressed in green coveralls, holding a knife to the woman's throat. Olivia identified herself and ordered the man to back away from the woman, put his hands up, surrender without incident. He looked around wildly for an escape route, but she'd already radioed her location and dozens of officers swarmed upon them.

He dropped the knife.

They had their man.

Back at the precinct the interrogation dragged on through the afternoon and into the evening, leaving Ed with childcare duty. Olivia was well past the days of apologizing when the job kept her away from home, but that didn't mean she felt any less guilty. In the rare seconds of downtime she checked her phone for messages and pictures, checked the time, and predicted what was going on in the apartment. Ed probably made something simple for dinner—maybe chicken nuggets or spaghetti. Before bedtime Noah most likely set up the twins for a "race." When Wyatt began crawling, Noah found it amusing to slide the babies next to one another and put something a few feet away. He would stand in front of them and say, "Ready! Set! Go!" Bath time would be next followed by pajamas and story time on Noah's bed since it was a school night, or Ed may have gathered everyone on their bed. She might even find all four of them asleep there when she returned home.

"Liv?" Rollins interrupted her thoughts, "His lawyer's here."

Olivia glanced into the interrogation room. Their evidence, at least for this assault, was airtight. "Tell him he can see him at arraignment in the morning. Have the unis take him to central booking."

"Got it."

She was flipping the lights off in her office when a text from Sarah arrived. She was in the "neighborhood" of the precinct, knew Olivia was working, and wanted to meet for a drink if she happened to be leaving soon. Olivia checked in with Ed who reported everyone was asleep and he was stowing the last of the Christmas decorations in storage bins. Had it been any other person asking to meet, Olivia would have immediately declined. But Sarah needed her.

 _I'm a little worried about her_ , Ed replied. _Go_.

 _Okay_.

 _But hurry back_. Olivia grinned and got a little chill. Her husband was capable of flirting with her in any and all circumstances and she loved it.

Sarah was at a nondescript bar a few blocks from the precinct. She was dressed in her work clothes. For someone so flamboyant with her casual wear, Sarah's business attire was almost boring—a navy, black, or brown suit, plain blouse, and her trusty heels. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and Olivia wondered if, subconsciously, in her male-dominated professional world, Sarah was trying to diminish the allure of her gorgeous blonde locks.

"Hey there." Olivia kept her gray trench on, hoping to convey she wasn't staying long.

"Hi Livvie," Sarah gave her a hug, a little less ferocious than the norm, but it was late and she appeared a bit tired.

Olivia placed a twenty-dollar bill on the bar and ordered a bourbon. "Good to get back to work?"

"It was actually," Sarah replied, "Not much going on, but that's probably for the best. How about you?"

"We made an arrest in the Central Park case."

"Good. Shit. That dude had us all freaked out. Did you have to shoot him?" Sarah's eyes were wide and child-like.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. "No…no we didn't."

"Damn."

"Ah, well, it's for the best, I would've had to go to the hospital for bloodwork and be on leave pending an investigation," Benson fluttered a hand in the air, "It would've been a whole _thing_."

"Have you shot someone?"

"Yes."

Sarah stared into her cocktail. "Wow."

"Part of the job," Olivia remarked softly and put her hand on Sarah's forearm, "I was a little worried…about how you left brunch. And we didn't get a chance to talk. Everything else okay?"

"Yes," Sarah felt herself flush. "Hill and I…we didn't see each other much today."

"Intentionally?"

Sarah shrugged. "It was one of those days when everyone was kind of in offices, no big projects. But I was…I was trapped, kind of, between, being normal and not wanting to seem like I was being abnormal. Jesus. I make no sense lately."

"I get it. Actually, your Dad would get it more. He was like that with me."

The comparison was too much for Sarah. "Livvie, I'm not sure I can do this."

"Do what?"

" _Be_ with Hillary."

"Because you're afraid of dating a woman or because you don't feel the way you thought you felt?"

"A little of both."

"Have you spoken to her since the last time you were together?"

"Yesterday." Sarah was deciding to leave out the part about Jeff. "I saw her…after Brooke's…and we had a good talk, she feels the same way, just, _puzzled_. But then she said something about being jealous in Argentina—"

Olivia stopped her, "What happened there?"

"Oh, this guy, owned our hotel, offered to show us around, and _gawwwwwd_ , Livvie, he was so hot, and when I wasn't working I was with him. I hardly saw her. So…she said she was jealous but not of me, of _him_ , and we're both, I guess trying to figure out what these feelings are."

"It sounds like you're doing the right thing."

"But we kissed again."

"Oh?"

"And more."

" _More_?"

"Nothing came off," Sarah quickly added, "Well, no, yes, that's accurate. Nothing came off. And then I left."

"Sarah," Olivia signaled for another drink, her last. "If this were a heterosexual relationship, would we be here right now?"

"No."

"So the underlying issue, for you, is that you're attracted to a woman."

"It must be."

"You do realize there's nothing wrong with that?"

"I realize you feel that way," Sarah replied, "I also realize my Grandmother, my Dad, my sister…Noey…may not feel that way."

Olivia shook her head, "All of us. _All_. Of. Us. Want you to be happy. We want everyone to be happy. And if you love Hillary and she loves you and you're happy, then that's wonderful." They took a couple of sips in silence. It was only for a few seconds, but a new thought knocked Olivia sideways as her police sensors sounded an alarm. "Sarah."

"What?" The alarm resonated with Sarah, too, and she jerked to attention.

"You're Hillary's boss."

"Yes."

"You have to be careful. I don't know what your firm's policies are, but you could be flirting with something in violation of the code of ethics…I don't want to scare you, but you should find that out. Sooner rather than later."

"Omigod I totally did not think about that."

"Neither did I. Until now."

"All the more reason to just…stop."

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm telling you to _investigate_."

"Sure would be an easy way out though, right?" Sarah asked, smirking and looking a lot like her father, "Sorry, Hill. We can't do this and keep our jobs. Let's move on."

"If you're truly looking for an easy way out, you may want to…end it."

"My life seems to be easier when I'm alone."

"I truly hope you don't believe that."

Sarah threw her head back and forced a scornful laugh. "Oh Livvie…I don't know what I believe. One minute I'm married then I'm fantasizing about another girl and…are you sure I can't just be your Mary Poppins?"

"I don't think we can afford you."

Sarah tipped her glass toward Olivia. "Touche."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	49. Chapter 49

**Forty-Nine.**

The texts started arriving around eight.

 _Good luck, Noey!_

 _Have fun in math today, big boy!_

 _Have a good day, math genius!_

Olivia fussed over him for an extra few minutes. She adjusted his belt. Untucked and then re-tucked his shirt. Smoothed his hair. Made sure his leather boots were double knotted. Her phone vibrated constantly. She was needed at the precinct. Horrific crimes needed investigating. But her boy was taking a major step today, and she was going squeeze every second out of the morning.

Nearby, Ed filled Noah's shark backpack with his supplies. He added a small bottle of water to his lunch, zipped the lunch box, and placed it next to the bag.

"Daddy you put cookies in there?"

"Mommy did, pal."

Noah leaned forward and kissed Olivia's forehead. "Thank you, Mommy."

"You're welcome, sweet boy."

"Babies comin' to school?"

"No." Olivia grabbed Noah's coat, mittens, and hat, "Mommy's taking you to school, just the two of us, then I'm going to work. And Mommy and Daddy will pick you up."

Before leaving, Noah ran over to Maggie and Wyatt and gave them each a kiss goodbye. He crouched in front of them. "See ya later, babies!" Standing tall again, he pointed at his chest and proudly announced he was going to school.

Olivia came over to Ed. He could see the near-panic in her eyes. "It'll be fine, Liv," He whispered in her ear as he hugged her, "The only one not nervous is Noah. That's a good thing."

"Promise me you'll call if they call?"

"Promise."

"And promise me you'll call if they don't."

"Promise." He held her at arm's length by the shoulders and studied her face. The moisture in her brown eyes, her freckles, her earth-toned makeup, and he smirked approvingly, his own eyes narrowing and his lips turning up slightly. "I love you."

"Mommy, I'm HOT!" Noah was dancing around, entertaining the twins, but he was also in his outerwear and working up a sweat.

"Okay. Let's go. Time for school." She kissed Maggie and Wyatt and ushered Noah from the apartment. As usual, he half-skipped most of the way to school and let his mother hug and kiss him goodbye before eagerly heading in to his classroom. Olivia said a few words to his teacher, and by the time their brief conversation ended, Noah was already on the rug and ready for the morning story. He gave her a little wave. She waved back and blew him a kiss. To her delight, he returned the gesture.

…..

Olivia did not have much time to worry about Noah that morning. As soon as she arrived at the precinct, Rollins and Fin came in with a complaint from the previous night. They produced printouts of cell phone screen shots. Olivia peered at the text through her reading glasses and furrowed her brow. The social media posts were lurid, but they didn't seem criminal, at least not without context.

Rollins pointed at the woman in the photos, "Bria Hubbard," she said, "Came in last night with the screen shots. That's her boyfriend."

" _Chillin' with my baby mama_ ," Olivia read one of the posts. The attached picture showed Bria and the man sitting on a sofa. They were both smiling. "And what's the complaint?"

"Bria alleges he's stealthing," Rollins answered.

"Stealthing?"

Fin explained, "There were a few cases about a year ago around the country, men poke holes or take off the condom during sex without telling their partners."

"I remember," Olivia murmured, "There was a push to pass a statute covering this but it kind of faded away."

"Looks like it's back," Rollins said.

"Bring Bria in," Olivia directed, "Let's get her statement and proceed from there." Rollins left the room and Olivia squinted at Fin, "And…what exactly is the man's reason for doing this?"

"Some of the online forums say the main argument is they have the right to spread their seeds."

"Online forums?" She squinted at Fin, for he appeared to have a little too much knowledge about this phenomenon.

Fin twisted his face, "It was in _The_ _Ledger_ article. I'm surprised you missed it."

"I don't read _The Ledger_ on a regular basis," Olivia retorted, rolling her eyes, "And this time last year I was kind of…pregnant."

He smiled, "Those babies are beautiful, Liv."

"Thanks," She glanced at the photograph of Noah on her desk, "Today, though I'm worried only about my big guy."

"What's going on?"

"It's, well, it's not bad," Olivia noticed Fin's brow furrowing with concern. "He's going to another class, a first grade class for math today and I'm nervous, not about the math, but about the other kids being mean to him."

"Ah, he'll be alright."

Olivia glanced at the time, "He should be in there now. I'll be better this afternoon. I'm picking him up today, so I'll have to leave for an hour, maybe less."

"We can handle it."

"I know," she smiled appreciatively, "Thank you."

…..

Sarah swiveled in her large desk chair and faced Battery Park. Despite the frigid January day, people, mostly tourists, milled about and she could see them in the distance, looking over the harbor and snapping photographs of the Statue of Liberty. She was slightly bored; other than some mundane spreadsheet work which could be finished in no time at all, there wasn't much to do. Her job came in spurts—she was either extremely busy or sitting idle—there was no gray area. The gray sky portended more snow and the dreariness of it all made her want to leave and waste the rest of the afternoon in a bar somewhere.

"Sarah?"

The voice was Hillary's. Sarah spun around slowly. There she was, in a dark suit and striped blouse, shoulder length brown hair falling in slight curls. She wore a serious expression on her face even though her round, friendly cheeks made it difficult for her to appear all business. Hillary's face always leaned toward a smile.

"Hey. What's up?" Sarah eyed the accordion file under her arm.

"I'm ready to send off these reports and didn't know if you wanted to take a look first. The file is huge and needs to be scanned, but I want to make corrections before it's in the system."

Sarah waved her closer, "I'll look at the summary pages." Hillary dropped the file on her desk and Sarah looked inside. "Damn. This _is_ huge."

"Jessica called me halfway through the print bitching," Hillary said, unable to contain her laughter, "As if the machine and paper and ink is hers."

"No shit." Sarah checked her phone before searching the file for the summary pages. "It won't take me long. Maybe thirty minutes."

"Okay."

Sarah checked her phone again and looked up. Hillary was still there, looking at Sarah curiously, maybe feeling a little slighted from the partial attention. "Sorry," she held the phone up, "I'm waiting to hear about Noey's day in math class. I've been worried sick all morning and Daddy was supposed to keep me posted."

Hillary was confused. "Math class?"

Sarah told her about the move, "And we're all freaking out and Noah's kinda like, _whatever guys_."

Hillary thought about the Tucker family and how supportive and sweet they were with one another, especially the children. She wanted to ask if Sarah had said anything about the past week to her father or to Olivia, but they were at work and everything felt normal. There was no need to make waves.

"I bet he'll do great."

"Livvie was more worried about the kids being mean, but I told her, Noey's so nice and cool and calm, he'll probably fit right in, even though he's a little shorter than everyone else." Sarah started giggling, "Omigod, omigod, omigod, I cannot stand this I have half a mind to go over to that school and spy."

My niece's day care has a live webstream," Hillary said, "A little creepy, but good for the parents I guess."

"And sisters! _Ugh_." Sarah let her head fall dramatically onto the desk. "Okay, okay, I'm going to look at these and then I'm leaving. Want to get a drink? Late lunch?"

"Sure," Hillary said.

"Give me a half hour."

….

Olivia was running late that afternoon, and instead of meeting Ed and the twins at home, she caught up with them in the school lobby. Ed deftly held both baby carriers and Olivia couldn't help but admire him—the babies were getting heavier and carrying the two at once in their car seats was a bit grueling.

"Hello my loves," she said breathlessly, kissing Ed's cheek and touching the twins' faces. "You look sleepy Maggie and Wyatt!"

"Just started wakin' up."

"You didn't take them to day care?"

"Nah. I didn't have much to do today, so we worked from home. Commissioner called though, I have a meeting there tomorrow. Early."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "The Commissioner?"

"Yep," Ed sniffed and peered past Olivia and down the corridor where children were starting to emerge from classrooms. "I see him."

Noah was of paramount importance, but something about the way Ed talked about meeting with the Commissioner made her uneasy. However, further inquiry would have to wait. Olivia took Maggie from Ed and followed her husband down the hall to where Noah was standing in a circle with four other boys. One of them was demonstrating the use of a small toy, a fidget spinner, and the others were entranced.

Ed turned to Olivia and grinned.

"I know," she said softly. They had spent the entire day agonizing over Noah's hour in first grade, and the highlight of his day was probably this moment right now—watching his friend expertly transfer the spinner from one fingertip to another.

A collective groan resounded from the group when the toy finally fell to the ground. The parents used the break in the action to pull their respective children away, and Olivia tapped Noah's shoulder.

"Hey sweetie!"

Noah seemed surprised to see her. "Hi Mommy!"

"Did you have a good day?"

"Uh-huh, Mommy, can we get one a those?" He pointed to the owner of the toy. "It spin REALLY FAST!"

"Sure."

Noah threw his arms in the air, "YES! I wanna red one."

"Okay."

They got Noah into his coat, hat, and mittens and the five of them piled into the car. Olivia noticed some people shooting annoyed glances in their direction. "Someday we're going to get a reprimand about parking."

"We're the police," Ed muttered. "They need to get over it."

Olivia took her seat beside Ed and pulled on her seatbelt, "I suppose…but I don't want to cause trouble."

"They should be honored we chose this school for our son."

Olivia accepted his reasoning with a sardonic grin. "Okay, Captain."

"Where to?" He asked.

"Noah, are you hungry?"

"Verrrrrrry hungry!"

Olivia checked her phone. No one had called or messaged. "Well, let's get something to eat and then I'll go back in."

"Whatcha want for a snack, No?"

"Steak!"

"That's not a snack, that's dinner."

"Tater tots!"

"To the pub we go," Ed concluded. "I think we single-handedly keep that place in business."

"But is it okay if all of us go?" Olivia asked with exaggerated sincerity, "I thought the pub was now a Noah-Daddy spot?"

"We all go," Noah said firmly, "Babies have tater tots?"

"I don't think so," Olivia said, "Maybe we'll get them some mashed potatoes."

"Wyatt have tater tots before!" Noah protested.

"Oh did he?" Olivia asked, nudging Ed. "I didn't know about that."

"We gived him a verrrry little piece," Noah reported, "He LOVE it, didntcha, Wyatt?" Fully awake and alert now, Wyatt's laughter filled the car in response to Noah's tickles.

"Please tell me you haven't snuck him soda already," Olivia intoned.

"If I had, I'm sure we woulda been busted by now," Ed muttered, jerking his head playfully in the direction of the backseat.

Olivia patted his leg, gazed adoringly at him, and cooed, "I love you."

…

Ed and Olivia managed to wait until the drinks were served to ask about Noah's time in math class. During the rest of the ride to the pub, he played with the babies and rambled on and on about the spinner. Olivia used her phone to find one online and ordered a red one without telling Noah. It would be fun to surprise him.

"Sweet boy, tell us about math class."

Noah put his crayon down, putting all his attention into the recap. "We do meas-ur-ing," he said, "and then we put the numbers on the big board and put 'em in order."

"Oh yeah? What did you measure?"

"The animals."

"The animals?"

"Uh-huh. The teacher had a whole bunch of animals like Bernie."

"Which one was the tallest?"

"The SNAKE!"

"Which one was the shortest?"

"The ladybug."

"Did you…" Olivia was dying to find out how the other kids treated him, "Did you meet any new friends?"

"Uh-huh. James. I work with him."

"Oh?"

"The teacher say, 'this is Noah' and everyone say hi, and then everyone have a partner and then we work!"

"Was it hard?"

"No."

Ed and Olivia exchanged smiles. Everyone's anxiety about Noah's big day had been unnecessary. He sent a text to Sarah and Brooke conveying that message. Predictably, Sarah replied immediately with _thank gawwwwwwwd_.

The Tuckers finished their snack and their drinks, and Olivia accompanied them back home before returning to the precinct. She took a few minutes to cuddle Maggie and Wyatt, kissed Noah and told him how proud she was of him, and was just about to leave when Ed stopped her in the foyer.

"Uh, you forgot about me," he pouted.

"I am so, so, so, so sorry," Olivia opened her arms wide, "Come here." Olivia hugged him tightly. Ed took advantage of the close proximity and kissed at her neck and in the space behind her ear. Chills fluttered down her spine. " _Ed_!"

He tilted his head back and kissed her on the lips. "Sorry." Another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, smiling, "I feel bad leaving."

"Don't."

"But I do."

Ed stroked her hair. "You, Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker, are so very important—as a wife, a mother, and SVU's commanding officer—don't feel bad about leaving one role for another. I think…I think one reason we found each other was so you could do it all, and not feel guilty about it, because I'm here, your children know their parents love them, and at the end of the day, even if it's late, the middle of the night, you fall asleep next to me, and when that happens, I don't feel shortchanged or slighted, I just feel…lucky…and honored." He'd gone overboard, and tears were pooling on her lower lids, "Don't cry," he said, kissing each cheek. "Go get the bad guys."

"Okay."

He patted her rear end, "See you later, Lieutenant."

Blinking back tears, she managed a slight smile and said, "Yes you will."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	50. Chapter 50

**Fifty**.

Olivia had seen relief on Amanda Rollins' face multiple times, but never before had she seen tension so conspicuously leave her body than when Olivia, Ed, and the kids showed up fashionably late at Jesse's delayed birthday party. The room was filled with guests, most of whom Olivia didn't recognize, and she noticed the small gathering had decidedly taken on a broader scope.

"Lieutenant," Amanda greeted her breathlessly, "So glad to see you." She smiled sweetly at Wyatt and Maggie and crouched down to say hello to Noah who was already looking past her at a man making animals out of balloons.

"Go ahead on over there," Rollins said, "He'll make you anything you want."

"Stegassrus?"

Rollins clenched her teeth, "Well, maybe not that, but go ask."

Noah trotted off. Ed found a nearby table and took Wyatt out of his car seat, leaving his snow suit and hat in the carrier. He handed the baby to Olivia and repeated the routine with Maggie.

"Look at him!" Rollins gushed, "Look at those cheeks!"

Wyatt buried his face in Olivia's neck. "Awww," Olivia cooed, "Are you being shy, baby boy?" She kissed his head, "He'll warm up. There are, wow, how many people are here?"

"Declan invited some friends and family. I didn't realize it was _dozens_ of friends and family. Throw my mom and sister in the mix, and I'm exhausted…and it's not even close to being over."

Olivia shifted Wyatt to her other hip, "So does this mean he's done with the UC ops?"

"Apparently," Rollins replied, "He's batting around his options now."

Noah ran back over to his parents with a balloon crown on his head, beaming proudly. "Lookit! He make me a HAT!"

"It's a crown bud," Ed held Maggie under his arm and took out his phone to snap a photo. "Reminds me of his birthday a couple years ago," he said to Olivia.

Olivia recalled that particular party with a smile and also with amazement at how much her life had changed since then.

"Mommy! Can I do that?" Noah pointed to the face painting booth.

"Of course."

"Declan also rented a photo booth," Rollins reported dryly, "He went…a little overboard."

"Making up for lost time I imagine," Olivia surmised. "Where is he? I didn't get a chance to talk to him for very long on New Years' Day."

On cue, Lieutenant Declan Murphy made his way over to Rollins and the Tuckers. Other than his beard being more closely cropped, he looked exactly the same—burly, slight paunch at the middle, and a sagely expression on his face.

"Olivia," He took the hand that was not cradling Wyatt, "So good to see you again." He next turned to Tucker and warmly shook his hand. "These babies are gorgeous. Mind if I take him for a few minutes? We didn't get very well acquainted on New Year's."

"A lot of competition," Ed remarked.

"With grandmothers there it's almost impossible to share," Declan said, "Case in point, my mother and Beth Anne have practically had a tug-of-war with Jesse since my mother arrived."

Olivia was surprised to hear Declan talk about his mother. She assumed his family was distant, either deceased or long ago estranged due to the strain of undercover operations. Declan expertly bounced Wyatt and spoke to him in an exaggerated Irish brogue. Wyatt curiously cocked his head, listened, and his little hands patted Murphy's whiskers—a texture unfamiliar to the eight-month-old. Despite spending the past decade more or less ensnared in the dark underworld of narcotics and sex trafficking, Declan was a natural with children.

"Wow, Olivia, I can't believe how much your life has changed since I was last here," Declan said, using a moment alone to switch to more serious topics. Noah had dragged Ed and Maggie to a corner of the room where another artist was painting caricatures, and Rollins was mingling with the guests.

"It certainly has."

"You have a beautiful family. I'm happy for you. You deserve it."

"Thanks," Olivia replied. Wyatt was getting fussy, wanting to be put down, and she jiggled a toy in front of him, "And…what are the next steps for you?"

"Professionally or personally?"

"Both, I suppose."

"They're not mutually exclusive," Declan said. "If I want a personal life, if I want to be a father, the best option right now is a position in white collar crimes, with the feds."

" _But_ …"

He smiled wryly, "But I have to get used to that version of myself."

"I get it."

"But Tucker's a good example…it can be done. Reinvention is not out of the realm of possibility."

"No, it's not," Olivia agreed, "But, sometimes, I think he misses it." She hadn't expressed this sentiment to anyone, but there was a certain trust she had in Declan Murphy that allowed her to be candid. "When we were…early on…I kept waiting for him to walk away because of the pressures of raising Noah. Now I'm almost waiting for him to wake up one day and announce it's time to hire a full time nanny because he's going back to work."

Declan lowered his voice, "Or ask you to lay down the shield?"

"The last time he mentioned that…let's just say the conversation did not turn out well," Olivia recalled the memory, even now, years later, with a shudder, "He's doing this so I can have it all…and he's working a little, he says just enough, but—"

"You have a good man, Olivia. I'd take what he says as pure honesty."

Olivia caught sight of Ed talking to Noah, probably instructing him to hold still while the artist drew his distorted portrait. He had a pink blanket slung over his shoulder and held Maggie effortlessly, facing outward so she could see the action. Perhaps sensing her eyes on him, Ed turned slightly, offered a cocky nod, and focused his attention back on Noah. Olivia couldn't help but smile at the contentedness their indestructible connection brought to her. Truer words had never been spoken, Ed Tucker _was_ a good man. An honest man. The best man she'd ever met.

And he was hers.

….

Temperatures dipped into the the subzero range and menacing winds swirled on the morning of Brooke and Sonny's party. Ed woke up early with a feeling of foreboding, and checked to make sure the heat was working and all three of his kids were snugly cocooned in their blankets. He poked his head into Noah's room, and, finding him sufficiently covered, made his way into the twins' room. His breath caught in his throat as he watched them sleep. Wyatt was partially on his side with his fists balled against his chin. Wisps of brown hair fell across his forehead and, even in slumber and the moonlight, the rosy hue on his plump cheeks was evident. Maggie slept on her back, arms and legs splayed out as if she wanted to prove she had the right to take up all the space in her crib. Her lips were pursed and fluttered ever so slightly; Ed smiled and predicted she would eventually be notorious for talking in her sleep. She was the only Tucker child to have kicked off her blanket, and he gently pulled the pink comforter up near her chin.

When he returned to the master bedroom, Olivia mumbled, "Where were you?"

"Checkin on the kids."

"Ed," she replied, more clearly this time, "The heat works, sweetie."

"I know but it's record breaking freezing out there." He jumped back under the covers and spooned her. "Mmmmm. This is nice." He felt her breathing get heavier. "You goin' back to sleep?"

Olivia heard the disappointment in his voice. She reached out and pressed the home button on her phone. "No."

They kissed for a while, maybe thirty minutes, maybe an hour, neither he nor she was keeping track of time. It was so nice to hold each other, arms and legs entangled, mouths moving perfectly moved in tandem, familiar yet exciting, pausing every once in a while to smile and whisper sincere compliments, pleasant reflections, optimistic predictions, until finally Olivia began tugging at his waistband.

The sun was rising and Ed groaned, both from the contact and from the awareness that Noah would be up and pounding at their door soon, and Ed wasn't positive it was locked. But he didn't stop her as she became more insistent, more determined to rid him of his clothes and he reciprocated, feeling pressured to rush but not wanting to rush…the thrill of beating the clock.

Her fingers were digging into his skin now at his hips, she always did this when she was ready for him and often she was ready before he was because he loved exploring every inch of her just as much as he loved coaxing her into an almost violent orgasm. He slithered down her body, wanting to taste her, he rasped his intentions and she moaned and gripped his head, anticipating the effects from what he was about to do. He was on point, proud of himself, precise, and her cries were beautiful, and he kept going.

They were a mess—naked, clothes tangled in the sheets, bodily fluids smeared on almost every inch of skin, and when Ed finally finished inside of her he didn't simply collapse at her side, he covered her mouth with his and kissed her deeply like it was the prelude to sex rather than its epilogue.

"Guess we haveta maybe think about a shower," He mumbled.

Olivia rolled over, "C'mon. Let's hurry so we can go together."

They showered quickly and put on sweats. The baby monitor showed the twins in the beginning stages of waking up. Otherwise, their home was quiet.

Ed put his arms around Olivia's waist and kissed at her neck as he walked them into the living room. Olivia saw Noah first and gripped Ed's hands.

" _Look_."

In the beanbag he sat, facing Manhattan, iPad in hand and juice box at his side.

"Hey, bud," Ed said softly, "G'mornin."

"Morning!" He said cheerfully.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Jus' drawin."

"Want some breakfast?" Olivia asked.

"Wanna go to the rest'raunt for scrambly eggs in the taco!"

He meant a breakfast burrito, and it was a good time to ask. Despite the frigid temperatures, the parents agreed. "We owe him," Ed whispered. "We'll take the car, I'll get the heat goin' so the twins won't be out in the cold too long."

"Okay," Olivia replied, bending down to kiss Noah's head, "As soon as Maggie and Wyatt wake up we'll give them their bottles and go," she promised.

"Kay. I telled 'em to keep sleepin!"

"You did?"

"Yep!" He replied and then, with all the exasperation a newly minted five-year-old could muster sighed, "Those babies wake up _too_ early!"

…

Being inside the room where they exchanged marriage vows caused a wave of sentimentality to wash over Olivia. She stopped in her tracks as the five of them arrived and asked Noah if he remembered this place. He confirmed he did, and he even recalled little details such as his shiny shoes and the matching blue ties he and Ed wore. The space was more crowded this time. Sonny had a seemingly endless list of friends and family, and once Brooke started writing invitations, she realized her guest list was longer than she originally predicted. Children were allowed, and Noah's presence was guaranteed. Ed and Olivia decided at the last minute to bring Maggie and Wyatt, mostly due to the fact that they lacked child care. However, Caroline and a few of the Tucker cousins would be in attendance. Grandma obviously welcomed any chance to see the babies, and the cousins had never met them. A few had not yet been introduced to Noah.

With relatives keeping tabs on the little ones, Ed and Olivia spent much of the early evening on the dance floor. No matter what song was playing, Ed alternated between twirling his wife and holding her close, swaying ever so slightly. They whispered into one another's ears, grinned, smirked, teased, flirted, and even though the interruption was completely warranted, they were both slightly disappointed when one of the cousins approached with a whimpering Wyatt. Both twins needed to be fed.

Even without high chairs, they were adept and spooning baby food into the waiting mouths of Maggie and Wyatt. Each held a twin and simultaneously fed the other, a perfected system, especially since both Maggie and Wyatt were, by now, expert eaters. They were both gumming a teething biscuit when it occurred to Ed that he hadn't danced with either one of his daughters. When a ballad played, she took both twins into her lap. Ed danced with Brooke and then Sarah. He was making his way back to Olivia when he saw Hillary sitting at a table, alone, not exactly forlorn, but lonely enough to entice Ed to ask her to dance. He eyed Olivia on his way over to her, silently communicating what he had in mind, and she merely smiled in agreement, glad he was branching out and testing unfamiliar waters.

On the other side of the room Brooke and Sarah ordered fresh drinks from the bar. Sarah was talking about her intention to dance with Sonny when they both noticed Ed and Hillary among the others on the dance floor.

"Omigod," Sarah blurted under her breath, "Dad's dancing with Hill!"

"So what?"

"He…he doesn't dance with anyone."

"He just danced with us," Brooke dryly pointed out.

"I mean…do you think Livvie made him?"  
Brooke caught sight of Olivia, now sitting placidly, observing, with two sleeping twins in her arms. "I don't know…I wouldn't think so. She doesn't exactly _make_ him do anything."

"It's so funny…"

Annoyed at her sister's inability to maintain a consistent line of conversation, Brooke muttered, "What is?"

"Look at Daddy."

Brooke observed her father. Ed was dancing with Hillary in the most formal posture imaginable—one hand in hers, the other across her upper back, several inches between them, but he didn't appear uncomfortable, merely polite, it was a dance of two people who weren't strangers yet were also not quite friends. For the first part of the song, they avoided eye contact, but Ed said something that made Hillary laugh. After that, they chatted through the rest of the tune.

"Uh-oh," Brooke teased, "Dad might be stealing your date." She was joking. Obviously. But instead of returning the banter, Sarah fell silent and stared ahead blankly. Brooke nudged her. "Sare?"

She snapped to attention. "Huh?"

"Are you alive?"

"Yeah, yeah, just thought about something."

Brooke peered at her suspiciously. "About what?"

"Something at work," Sarah retorted.

Initially, Brooke hadn't thought twice about Sarah bringing Hillary to the party, particularly since she'd taken her to other family functions. But little details were adding up—Sarah's subtle nudges and arm grabs, usage of the second person plural, giggles and inside jokes, and, most glaringly, the possessive way Sarah sometimes spoke of Hillary.

"Hey, ladies, would you mind taking a twin for a few minutes?" Olivia came up beside them, "I have to take Noah to the restroom."

"Sure, Livvie!" Sarah's mood changed instantaneously. "Gimme Wyatt, I want to dance with him."

Olivia handed over the infants and warned, "Be careful, they just ate."

Sarah swung Wyatt around anyway, "Come on, baby brother, you're gonna dance with your sissy and not puke on her."

Brooke and Sonny hadn't quite known what to expect from the party. Brooke surmised that it would be low-key and anticlimactic, maybe even a little bit boring. She did not foresee guests drinking and dancing until the late evening, but that's exactly what happened.

Angela, her husband, and the girls' half-brother stayed only long enough to have a drink and a few words with the bride and groom. There was no intermingling between Ed and his ex-wife, but Olivia caught her sneaking glances at them from across the room, probably more so to scope out the twins than anything else.

Maggie and Wyatt continued their rotation from table to table, breaking the cycle only to be delivered to their parents for a diaper change or for a bottle. Noah played with Carisi children, and he vehemently protested when Ed announced it was time to say goodbye.

"Wanna stay here with my _friends_!"

Ed grinned, "Well, bud, let's get their numbers and you can see 'em again sometime. Remember, Sonny's your brother-in-law now."

As usual, Noah was easily assuaged. He took Ed's hand and led him over to the table where the kids' parents were seated, and Ed programmed their information into his phone.

"Okay, bud, let's go get our coats."

"I know where dey are!" Noah scampered down an adjacent corridor, past the restrooms, and into the coat check room where a bored-looking attendant was watching a show on a small flat screen television.

"How'd you know this was here?" Ed asked.

"Cause our hiding spot is over THERE!" Noah pointed across the way to another, shorter hallway that appeared to lead to a service entrance. There were several recesses in the walls where, perhaps, phone booths once hung. To a preschooler, it was the ultimate surreptitious lair. Ed handed the ticket to the attendant and watched Noah as he meandered down the hall narrating. "Dom'nic hided here, and Allie was here, and…Hi SARE BEAR!"

Ed jerked his head in the direction of his son's voice. From the farthest recess, Hillary and Sarah emerged. Sarah was giggling sheepishly. Hillary reddened and stared at the floor.

"Hi Noey! You found us!" Sarah, unaware of Ed's presence, expertly downplayed the embarrassing encounter.

Noah twisted his lips, slowly realizing his discovery was not something that was supposed to happen. "You hide here, too?" He asked.

"It's a great spot!"

Noah looked in Ed's direction. "Oh, Daddy have the coats."

"Daddy?" Sarah slowly lifted her eyes and saw Ed making his way to them with their outerwear draped over one arm.

Hillary drifted backwards, wishing she could escape through the heavy double doors even though she had no idea where they led. Anything was better than this. Noah they could fool. Ed Tucker? No way.

"Daddy, you're leaving already?"

"Need to get the kids home and in bed."

" _I_ stay up late now!" Noah interjected.

"You do?" Sarah asked. "How late?"

"Ten a'clock!"

"Eight-thirty," Ed corrected. "Well, you two enjoy the rest of the evening. C'mon, No. Let's go get Mommy and the twins."

"Kay! Bye Sare Bear! Bye Hill'ry!"

Sarah responded with her bubbly "Bye Noey Boey!" Hillary remained practically cowered in the corner, speechless, wondering how and if she was ever going to face Captain Tucker again.

…

Ed mentioned nothing to Olivia while they prepared to leave. He said nothing on the ride home. They decided to postpone bath time until the morning, and he went through the bedtime routines without arousing any suspicion from his wife. He blew strawberries on the twins' bare tummies before snapping them into their pajamas. Noah joined them for two stories, one for Maggie and one for Wyatt. Goodnight kisses followed. Mobiles turned on.

 _I love you big guy._

 _Love you sweet girl._

 _Night, night babies!_

Olivia left the door slightly ajar. Noah asked Ed to help him reconstruct a piece of train track, and they spent the rest of the evening running the cars along the new, windy route. Ed's thoughts occasionally drifted to Sarah, but mostly he concentrated on following Noah's very specific instructions. Knowing it was getting late, Ed checked the time. Nine o'clock.

"Uh-oh, bud," Ed said, "Past your bedtime. Pick out your books and we'll read in the big chair with Mommy."

"Kay," Noah said, his eyes still on the train table, "I leave this red one right here. Don't touch it. It gonna sleep there."

"Yessir."

Noah laughed, "I'm not sir! You sir!"

"Oh yeah?" Ed tackled Noah and started tickling him. He was sure Olivia would end up in the room to see what all the commotion was about, but, as it turned out, she had fallen asleep on the couch.

Noah was in full sprint, books in hand, but he slowed and approached her stealthily when he saw her eyes closed. He placed the books carefully on the coffee table, leaned over her face, and lightly kissed her cheek.

"Night night, Mommy," he whispered. She was partially covered with a throw blanket and Noah tucked the edges around her body. He collected his books and tiptoed back to Ed who had been observing from the kitchen island. "Mommy's asleep," Noah reported, "We go read in my room."

"Following you, pal."

"Daddy, you can put Mommy to bed after we read."

Ed grinned, "Will do."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	51. Chapter 51

**Fifty-one.**

The YMCA's gym was not the place to be if one was looking for peace and quiet on a Saturday morning. Sneakers squeaked against the gym floor. There were the thuds of numerous basketballs being pounded into the court by dozens of five and six-year-olds, many of whom could only sustain two or three consecutive dribbles before the ball went bounding off in another direction. Occasionally, a coach would blow his or her whistle and the children would rotate into another drill—either passing, shooting, or ball handling. The shooting drills were conducted on special baskets, maybe five feet off the ground, and the more basketball-savvy kids tried to dunk the ball rather than mimic the coach's proper form and loft a shot in the air.

Ed proudly watched Noah. He refused to be swayed by the more intractable group of kids and intently listened to the coach's directions. He fixed his right elbow at the correct angle, bent his knees, and released the ball so it came off his hand rotating backwards. Other kids quickly grew frustrated when they didn't make a basket, but Noah simply chased after his basketball, reset his form, and tried again. He wasn't completely tuned out to the others, and he laughed when another kid unsuccessfully tried to dunk the ball; however, he was mostly all business and concentrated on his shots.

Noah's final stop of the morning was at the passing station which was manned by Sonny. It was Carisi who suggested Ed and Olivia sign Noah up for basketball; he'd been volunteering at the YMCA since his academy days, and Noah had finally reached the minimum participation age. The children would spend the next few Saturdays in clinics before being divided into teams and playing what amounted to scrimmage games. Just as he'd done in preparation for soccer season, Ed immediately took Noah out and purchased basketball gear—shoes, socks, and several pairs of brightly colored shorts and t-shirts. If his basketball skills turned out to be lacking, he certainly would be the best dressed player on the court.

When Noah caught on quickly, Ed wasn't surprised. The little boy possessed an innate determination and, perhaps, an obsession with learning new things. These characteristics were becoming more evident now that he was in a more formal schooling environment. Math came easy to him, but he still "practiced" his math games on the iPad. Reading was more challenging, but during their nightly story time, he had begun insisting on reading the words himself. He didn't simply narrate from memory or create plots based on pictures, he slowly made his way through the text, using his phonics lessons and his parents' clues to slowly make his way through the sentences.

"Hey, Captain!" Sonny jogged over, "A few of us are gonna play a little three-on-three. Interested?" He saw Ed eyeing Noah and predicted his next question, "Kids are gonna head to the play area with Jennifer over there."

Ed agreed to play and went over to Noah before he followed the eight or so kids to the indoor playground. "Good job out there, bud. You were really working hard. I'm proud of you."

"Didja see me SWISH some shots?"

"I sure did. And I saw you dribble and pass. You did really well. Think you want to come back next weekend?"

"Uh-huh! But we gonna go play now."

"Have fun. See ya in a little bit. Love you."

"Love you Daddy!"

Noah ran off and Ed peeled off his sweatshirt and jogged onto the court where other men, mostly dads in their thirties and forties, were taking warm-up shots. It had been a while since he'd played basketball, but he eventually fell into his old shooting rhythm. He and Sonny were teamed with a tall, slender former college player whose son had been one of the kids attempting slam dunks.

"Ready, Captain?" Sonny asked.

Ed nonchalantly took one more warm-up shot and sunk the three-pointer.

"Yeah," he said with a cocky grin, "I'm ready."

…..

While Ed and Noah were at basketball practice, Olivia spent the morning lazing around with the twins. She fed them oatmeal with mashed bananas for breakfast, moving swiftly from one tiny mouth to the other. Whenever Olivia shifted to Maggie, Wyatt smacked his high chair tray, and babbled "M" sounds—Olivia knew it was too early for his first words, but she liked to think he was attempting to say "Mama."

When they were finished eating, Olivia snapped a picture of their oatmeal-smeared faces. She had hundreds of photos similar to this one—the twins seated in their high chairs, post-meal with various colors of baby food clinging to their cheeks and sometimes their hair.

She wiped down Wyatt and stuck him in his walker. As usual, Maggie was prepped first. Olivia changed her diaper and then opened her side of the closet. "What should we wear today, sweetheart? We're going to see Sarah, so we have to choose carefully!" She chose a pair of pink-and-white striped leggings and a white long-sleeved shirt. Later, she would add the matching pink cardigan.

"Okay baby girl," Olivia leaned down and gave Maggie Eskimo kisses. The baby giggled and held her mother's cheeks. "I love you so much Maggie May. Mommy loves you so, so much." She held her tightly to her chest and kissed her head before setting her down on the floor. Maggie quickly got on all fours and crawled for her pile of stuffed animals in the corner of the room.

Wyatt was next. "C'mere, Wyatt! Come to Mommy!" Wyatt shrieked and started pumping his legs, moving the walker easily along the hardwood floors. He spun the attached toys as he rolled closer and faster. Both twins could move around in the walker, but Wyatt especially loved his vehicle. Olivia plucked him from the seat and held him above her head; he shrieked even more, drooling a little onto her face. "Ya got me, baby boy!"

More shrieks.

"Such a happy baby," she cooed. "Happy little boy!" She dressed Wyatt in khakis, a long-sleeved navy waffle top, and a puffy green vest. She tied his navy converse sneakers on his feet and stood him up on the changing table. "Handsome boy!"

Olivia carried the twins to the living room play mat where they occupied themselves while she finished folding laundry she'd started earlier that morning. Mundane tasks such as this still took on immense importance to Olivia. This particular load contained clothing from all five of them—mostly t-shirts and pajamas—but she was overwhelmed by a cozy, warm feeling as she neatly folded and stacked their clean garments. Despite having been through the washing cycle, some of Ed's things retained his scent—a combination of after shave and the cologne he sometimes wore—she smiled and pictured him at the Y, grinning proudly and dreaming of Noah taking the floor for the Knicks.

With the clothes folded and put away, she again relocated the twins, this time to her bathroom, so she could get ready for their lunch date with Sarah and Brooke. It had been two weeks since the wedding party, and she and the girls had been in touch only by text messages and from whatever information Carisi offered which, since they were working, wasn't much and didn't come very often. Sarah was in the throes of another time-consuming and multi-faceted international bank merger and was forcing herself to leave the office at noon and take a much-needed break.

Olivia dabbed on makeup and wondered how Sarah would behave, considering she and Hillary had been discovered doing whatever it was they were doing when Noah busted them. Ed waited until the next morning to relay the details to his wife, and his nervousness and uncertainty were both endearing and a tiny bit heartbreaking. Until then, Sarah's relationship with Hillary existed to him only in the hypothetical; it lived only in what Olivia told him about Sarah admitting to a more-than-friendly kiss.

"All I've ever wanted, ever said, was that I want her to be happy," Ed murmured to her that morning as they sipped coffee in the kitchen, "At what point do I…do I _demand_ to know what's going on?"

"Sweetie," Olivia said softly, "She may still be trying to figure out what's going on…and…I hate to say it, she may be worried about how you'll react."

"It sure as hell looked like she knew what was going on in that hallway," he retorted, "And…it's a little insulting to think she's too worried about my reaction to be honest with me. I…I _don't_ understand…completely…but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna be supportive…not going to _try_."

She looked down at the twins playing a duet on their toy piano, happily slapping the keys. Their presence at lunch would automatically provide a welcome diversion. Olivia had no idea how much Brooke knew, and she didn't want to be the one to spill the beans if she knew nothing which meant an afternoon of choosing words carefully. Briefly, Olivia wondered what the twins' dynamic would be as they got older. Would they share secrets and confide in one another? Or would they flock to gender-based groups of friends? How close would they be with Noah? Would Noah continue to be the patient, protective big brother he'd proven to be since they were born?

She hated to interrupt their musical performance. Maggie would hit a key and Wyatt responded by hitting the same key. It was adorable to watch them, sitting side-by-side, communicating through sounds only they understood.

"Okay sweethearts, time to go!"

They looked up at their mother. Though their bone structure was clearly different, their eyes were almost exactly the same—deep blue and sparkling with excitement and curiosity. Maggie smacked the piano one last time and gave Olivia a silly grin, revealing her two bottom teeth and the slow emergence of the top two—any day now they would appear and, unlike the week or so before cutting her bottom teeth, Maggie had not been all that fussy.

Olivia requested they meet at their usual pub which was less than two blocks from the Tucker home and convenient for a mother toting two infants. Thankfully, the icy January temperatures had abated for the time being, and the wind, while chilly, did not make Olivia fear for her babies' health or comfort. Nevertheless, she bundled them up in their parkas, covered them with their trusty fleece blankets, and pulled the plastic shield over the carriers. Wyatt nestled in placidly, but Maggie didn't stop whimpering until Brooke freed her.

"Maggs, you absolutely do not like to be restrained, do you?" Sarah said as she peeled off Maggie's outerwear and smoothed her hair. "And you look beautiful as usual! Are you wearing rouge today?" She touched a finger to one of her pink cheeks.

Wyatt had dozed off on the way over. Olivia kept him with her and he sat back, slowly waking up. Maggie babbled, seemingly at him, and both Brooke and Sarah cracked up.

"Wake up sleepyhead," Brooke translated.

" _Gahhhh_ , they're so adorable," Sarah gushed. "I just _looooove_ their little personalities." Sarah dodged one of Maggie's flailing arms, "Even though, with this one, personal injury is likely."

"Olivia, how are you?" Brooke inquired sincerely, "I hardly talked to you at the party and it seems like we haven't seen you in forever."

"I'm great! But, same as you, busy with everything. It seems like we never get a chance to breathe at the precinct, as I'm sure you've heard."

"Oh, I've heard," Brooke replied, "And, also, I'm sorry I haven't been able to get Noah in a while. Thursdays have been tough."

"That's okay," Olivia said. "He's been busy, too, actually. He's been going to the after school program twice a week and meets with the Spanish tutor on Mondays. And now…we also have basketball."

"Sonny was so excited."

"Your Dad was, too." Olivia checked her phone, "Last I heard, practice was ended and _he_ was playing."

"Daddy playing _basketball_?" Sarah asked incredulously.

"He's athletic," Brooke said.

"But…basketball? I've never heard of him playing basketball."

"I think he mentioned something once about playing in a league a long, long time ago."

Olivia grinned. All of a sudden, she _really_ wanted to see Ed on the court.

"Livvie, you're blushing," Sarah pointed out, squinting and smirking.

She shrugged, "I wouldn't mind seeing him play."

Sarah fell into Brooke, " _Ahhhhhhhhh_! That's so _cuuuute_! Wanna see your smokin' hot man get all sweaty, I get it."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "The extent to which you think Dad is sexy is disturbing."

"It is not! Why can't I think he's sexy? I think a lot of people are sexy. You cannot deny Daddy is good looking! And Livvie? _Helll-lo_! She's the sexiest of all of us!"

"Can we change subjects please?"

Olivia's phone rang and Sarah continued swooning over the photograph of Ed that popped up, signaling he was the caller. He was on the sofa with all three kids piled in his lap, reading a book, and not realizing he was being photographed.

"Hi," Olivia said, sounding very happy to hear from him. Ed, of course, was a proficient texter, but he admittedly preferred to hear her voice. Olivia listened to his update and suggested he and Noah join them. "We'll wait for you…no, we don't mind…okay…okay…Love you…bye."

"Yay! The whole fam!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Yep," Olivia said, "They're hitting the showers and will be on their way. Sonny, too."

"Okay, well, I'll wait for everyone to get here before I announce the big news."

Olivia and Brooke both gaped at Sarah. Again, the conundrum of who knew what and how much twisted Olivia's mind.

"That's incredibly unfair," Brooke moaned.

Rarely critical with the girls, Olivia agreed, "It really is."

"Allow me to make up for it by purchasing another round," Sarah sat up and got the server's attention. She twirled her finger in the air and shouted, "On me!"

Nearby, a group of young men were watching hockey and overheard Sarah. "Us too?" One of them asked mischievously.

"Ah, why not," Sarah said. "We're celebrating."

Brooke shook her head, "You're crazy."

"Ah," Sarah shrugged, "They're kinda cute. Who knows? Husband number two may be over there."

Brooke ignored Sarah's comment, accused her of monopolizing Maggie, and wrested the baby from her arms.

Finally needing that diversion, Olivia stood Wyatt up on the table and kissed his cheeks. "Want some mashed potatoes, baby boy? You _looooove_ those, dontcha?"

" _Omigod_ , _omigod_ , _omigod_ , I didn't notice they have matching shoes!" Sarah exclaimed. "How a-dor-a-ble!" She reached for Wyatt. "C'mere, big boy! Come to your Sare Bear!"

"Tell us," Brooke demanded.

"Nope," Sarah refused smugly. Not till everyone's here. "But you're gonna die."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	52. Chapter 52

**Fifty-two.**

Before leaving the apartment, Noah asked if he could take his basketball to the pub. Ed expressed skepticism at first. He explained that there were cracks and bumps in the sidewalk and if Noah tried to dribble, the ball could hit one of those impediments, roll into the street, and potentially be run over by a car. Noah brushed off this possibility.

"I jus' carry it," he said, "Then it won't go in da street."

"Okay, pal."

When they arrived, Sonny was already there, and Olivia scooted more toward the back of the semi-circle booth to make room for Ed and Noah.

"Have fun?" Olivia asked, grinning at Ed as he kissed her hello.

"We did," Ed replied. Both Maggie and Wyatt were clamoring for his attention and he reached over and grabbed their hands, "Hi little Tuckers! Bar hoppin' this afternoon, huh?"

"Not bar hopping, Daddy," Sarah corrected, "We have only been in this pub. No bar hopping until they can walk. That'll be their walking present."

"Great."

Olivia suppressed her desperation to hear Sarah's announcement and asked Noah to tell her about practice.

"I bounce the ball," he began, "One hand only, not two!"

Sonny grinned. "That's right."

"Den I shoot it and it go SWISH in the net! Sonny show us the chesspass and the bouncy pass. Then we went to the slides."

Olivia scrunched up her face. The slides didn't seem to belong.

"The playground," Ed clarified. "While we played."

"And how'd that go?" She asked, unable to suppress her grin.

"Captain Tucker, man, he has skills," Sonny said, "Man can shoot the three!"

Ed downplayed the compliment, "Easy when you have a big man. I was wide open most of the time. Your man was out for blood. Thought I was gonna haveta step in."

Olivia felt a surge of heat rush up the back of her neck. Picturing Ed playing basketball was enough to stoke desire, but thinking about him also defending his son-in-law had her on the verge of cutting the afternoon short so they could go home for naptime. Under the table, she squeezed his thigh.

"I don't know him," Carisi said, "I don't think he has a kid in the clinic, prolly just a gym rat."

The server came and dropped off drinks, placing a pint in front of Ed.

"Thought maybe you'd want a beer," Olivia said, "We can—"

"Beer's perfect," he said softly, kissing her again. "Thank you."

"Anything to eat yet?"

"Sonny!" Noah exclaimed, "We get the stuff we get at the beach here?"

"Calamari? Sure, they have it. We'll do an order of calamari and, maybe, anything else you want to snack on?"

They decided on a few more appetizers to share, and Olivia ordered Wyatt's mashed potatoes. "Will you please tell them no salt and about half the butter?"

"Sure," he replied with an understanding smile. "Anything for the baby girl?"

"She's more of a baby food girl," Ed replied, "Arentcha, Maggs?" Maggie nearly flung herself in Ed's direction and he caught her before her head collided with Brooke's pint glass. "C'mere, princess. Daddy missed you."

"We can mash some sweet potatoes," the server suggested, "My son loves 'em."

"Okay," Olivia agreed, "Thank you."

Once the server was gone, Brooke smacked the table. "Okay. Spill it, Sarah."

Ed and Sonny looked up, curious as to what she meant.

"Okay, okay," Sarah said, "I have been promoted. To Executive Vice President. This is… _huge_."

"Of course it's huge!" Olivia blurted out, "Wow, congratulations, sweetie!"

Brooke hugged her. Sonny kissed the side of her head. Noah shouted, "Yay, Sare Bear!"

"I'm so proud of you," Ed spoke the words so softly they were almost drowned out by everyone else's well-wishes.

"Thanks, Daddy," Sarah said. "It was…it was a shock really."

"Why?" Brooke asked, "You're obviously very good at what you do."

"Well," Sarah tore at a napkin, "I was actually talking to another firm about making a move there, and apparently my bosses got wind of it, and instead of letting me go…they promoted me! I'll be working under the current VP until he retires in May, learning the ropes, but… _yeah_."

"Well, cheers," Sonny said, raising his glass, "To the new Queen of Wall Street!"

Noah and the adults all clinked glasses, but the big brother was careful not to leave his younger siblings out. He touched his small juice glass to their sippy cups.

"Cheers, babies!"

Maggie went absolutely nuts, flailing her arms and shrieking.

"Oh God," Ed muttered, "She really is another Sarah."

…..

Olivia didn't notice Ed's labored walking until he emerged from the shower later that night. They toweled off one another and kissed a little more, but she lingered in front of the mirror to blow dry her hair before putting it up in a clip. Not wanting to get in bed without his wife, Ed picked up stray laundry and tossed the pile in the hamper. Olivia had just secured the clip when she saw him limping into the walk-in closet.

"Are you okay?"

"Defensive stance," Ed replied, referring to the earlier pick-up basketball game, "I guess I don't use those muscles much."

Olivia sidled up to him flirtatiously. "I beg to differ. You use a lot of muscles…on a regular basis."

"Baby," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, "We apparently gotta try some different things, 'cause the hammys and the quads are _cold_."

"Go lie down," Olivia commanded. "I gotcha."

Ed belly-flopped onto the bed, and Olivia crawled over him. She kissed the back of his neck and then down his spine. He groaned with pleasure and jumped when she started massaging his hamstrings.

"Does that hurt?" She asked.

"Kinda…but…don't stop."

"Okay, let me know."

"Kay," he mumbled into the comforter.

"So…Sarah…I was expecting a different announcement."

"I didn't know there was an announcement until the announcement." It was apparent Ed didn't feel like talking, but it was also apparent he'd resigned himself to the fact Olivia was going to make him have this conversation.

"I can't help but think about what I told her…maybe a few weeks ago…about being careful," Olivia leaned to one side to check if Ed was still awake. He was moaning almost too softly.

"Careful 'bout what?"

"She's Hillary's boss," Olivia said, "If one of them were a man, that would've been an issue at the outset."

"Didn't think about that."

Olivia recalled Sarah's comment about husband number two possibly being in the group of guys for whom she'd purchased shots. "I know it was off-the-cuff, but _still_."

From under his wife, Ed rolled over. "Quads now, please."

Olivia grinned and went to work in his right thigh, "Sure…and…stop worrying about Sarah?"

"No, baby. I know you're gonna worry. But she'll figure it out."

"I've seen workplace relationships…explode…and turn out very badly…"

"Ours didn't. Well," he smirked, "I guess there were some explosions…but in the end…it was fine."

"You weren't my boss."

"I coulda investigated you at any time. Invented a reason. Just to see you."

Olivia switched thighs, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he challenged. "You, me, a dark interrogation room…"

"You've had me in a dark interrogation room several times."

"And several times I thought about completely breaking the code of ethics and protocol and everything else and jumping over the table and jumping on _you_."

Olivia threw her head back and laughed at the ridiculousness of his comment, " _Riiiiiight_."

"Seriously."

"Ed Tucker, you are not telling the truth."

"I know."

Olivia briefly paused to kiss him.

"I had to make you an enemy," he said, suddenly serious, "So I didn't want you so bad."

" _Sweetie_."

"And out of all the men in the world, you chose me."

"I did. Best decision I ever made." Olivia tried to straighten up and continue rubbing his sore muscles, but he refused to let her go. She raised her eyebrows. "Done with the massage?"

"For now," he smirked wickedly, "There are some parts of you I, uh, wanna _in-ves-ti-gate_."

"Don't strain any more muscles," she warned playfully.

With a sudden burst of energy, Ed flipped her onto her back and pinned her arms above her head. "Why not?" he asked, starting his kisses along her jawline, "If I do, my loving, wonderful, drop-dead gorgeous wife will make it all better." He opened his mouth wide, breathing her in, tasting her, " _Mmmmm_ , she always makes everything all better." Olivia moaned and he grinned against her skin. "Yeah…" he continued murmuring as he made his way to her breasts, "And I'm gonna thank her good and proper."

…..

Sarah scheduled the meeting for the large conference room which took up almost the entire floor above her office. Around the table sat some of Manhattan's most powerful bankers and attorneys, her former team, and her new cadre of colleagues—most of them older than her and all of them male. She'd been promoted primarily because of her success in dealing with Central and South American companies, and her firm was opening a satellite office in Buenos Aires. Today she was breaking the news that half of her former department would be relocating there for the next year to coach the Argentinians on mergers and acquisitions.

The Executive Vice President who Sarah would be replacing spoke briefly and then gave Sarah the floor. She looked regal from her place at the head of the table—back perfectly straight and Tucker chin angled slightly upward. Her black suit was brand new and crisply pressed; her white blouse revealed very little of her neckline—at work, Sarah was excessively modest.

She started by explaining general details—the firm was expanding, growing its presence in an emerging market, and they needed a more consistent presence in the region.

"So, we'll be sending my former team there for the rest of this calendar year," Sarah announced in a voice devoid of all emotion. "We know this is life-altering, but Ben here will take you through the compensation package which includes housing and transportation stipends. Generous ones at that."

Most faces lit up. For the young, single males a year or so in Argentina sounded just fine. The lifestyle was less cutthroat. They'd be living on the firm's dime. The Buenos Aires nightlife left little to be desired. Hardly any of them listened as Sarah took them through the next steps; they were already imagining themselves stumbling from club to club with beautiful women on each arm.

The meeting adjourned on a high note with the firm's CEO uncorking a bottle of champagne and toasting their success. Sarah took her flute back to her office. Unbeknownst to her, Hillary was on her heels.

"You're not going?" The question was rhetorical. Accusatory.

Sarah fell into her chair and downed the champagne. She reached into a lower desk drawer and produced a bottle of vodka. "No."

"Seems like you should be going."

"Hill, I'm in a new role now. Ben's taking my spot, so he'll be the lead over there. My job isn't just a project at a time anymore." Sarah poured an inch of vodka into her flute and held the bottle in the air, "Want some?"

"No."

"I thought you would be excited." Sarah knew Hillary would most definitely not be anywhere close to excited about moving, even temporarily, to Buenos Aires. So, she did her best to convince Hillary and herself that this was good news. "I mean, it's the perfect time in your life to do something like this….sure you don't want a drink?" Sarah couldn't make eye contact. Not that she had to. Hillary's skin was surely turning red and blotchy—the way it did when she was nervous or anxious…or angry. It took a lot to make her cry, and Sarah wondered if she would manage to wait until she was in her own office and sob or if she would breakdown right here.

"Why would you do this?" Her voice trembled, "Why…you could've sent another team, you could have—"

"How could I have sent another team? This team has worked directly with these firms. Nobody else knows the accounts as well."

"This is personal, isn't it?"

Sarah pressed her eyes closed for a second and lowered her voice. "It is absolutely not personal. It would be more personal if I did go with another team. Hillary…" Sarah swallowed, hard, "Nothing is going to become of _us_. You know that, right?"

Hillary froze. She made a squeaky noise, but could not produce a coherent word or phrase. The woman in front of her was now completely unfamiliar. She wasn't Sarah. She was a rigid, impassive, cold-hearted imposter.

The enemy.

"I really can't believe this," Hillary finally said. As she found the courage to speak, Sarah had opened her laptop and was at least pretending to work on something. Not liking the machine as a barrier between them, Hillary went around to Sarah's side of the desk and stood in front of her. "You're scared." She had no idea where this courage was coming from, but she was planning to exhaust her supply. "You're just fucking scared."

"Livvie was right," Sarah mumbled, hitting a few keys before turning to Hillary, just to show her she was not her priority.

"Right about what?"

"I shouldn't have done what I did," Sarah said, "And I'm sorry. I gave you the wrong messages."

Hillary fumed. "You told your family about us?"

"I told Livvie. And she warned me…about us working together…and, doing whatever it was we were doing…but, you get it, right? There can be no _us_ , Hill. I just can't do it."

"I—"

"And I'm done talking about it." Sarah swiveled back to her computer.

Hillary did not move. "That is incredibly unfair."

"You really should go meet with Ben. See what he's got planned for the initial steps."

Hillary took a deep breath, smoothed her blazer, and collected herself.

She left Sarah's office without a word.

….

Four pairs of eyes squinted at the paperwork spread across Olivia's desk.

" _Stealthing_." Barba muttered sarcastically, "You know, just when you think you've seen it all…I don't get it."

"Our job isn't to understand," Olivia said.

"It helps," he shot back.

"Well, the trend is catching on. Four more reports this week of men either surreptitiously removing a condom or tampering with it to make it defective. There's a whole online community, forums, chat rooms…all proclaiming their right to procreate as their desires see fit."

"I don't know how I make this a crime," he said, "It reminds me of…those cases a couple years back…"

"I don't want to think about it."

Barba forced the issue, "But we learned a lesson there, particularly with the mom who tried to sleep her son's way into Hudson."

"And her son ended up committing suicide."

"Well, I need to figure out how to prosecute this before one of these victims makes the same choice."

"Good point."

Barba collected the files and slid them into a manila folder. "I have a lunch date…and…it seems you have one too?"

Olivia followed Barba's line of vision into the squad room and saw Sarah prancing her way past the desks. Only Savage was there and he awkwardly waved at her when she said hello.

"Good afternoon, Raffie!" Sarah said. "Long time no see!"

"I know…your stepmother's been keeping me at the office."

Sarah gave him a hug. Startled, Barba tried not to be obvious about his discomfort.

"She's not my stepmother. I hate that word. She's my Livvie. And I'm taking her to lunch."

"Did we have this planned?" It was entirely possible they had.

"Nope. I needed to get out of the office. Are all the rapists locked up for the day?"

It was obvious Sarah had been drinking. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were glassy, and she was way too bubbly for a Tuesday afternoon.

Barba noticed it as well. He shot Olivia a look that said _good luck_ and left.

"I really shouldn't leave," Olivia said, "Do you want to order something?"

"Ah, I really just want to talk real quick."

"Sure. Let's sit." Olivia closed the door and joined Sarah on the sofa. "What's up?"

"Hillary's mad at me."

"Why?"

"Because she's being sent to Buenos Aires with the team." Olivia wasn't sure why this was a problem. Sarah explained the situation. "She thinks I'm sending her there on purpose."

"Are you?"

"It's convenient, but not on purpose."

"Convenient?"

Sarah reached over and held one of Olivia's hands with both of hers. "Livvie, I cannot do this. I'm not brave enough."

"Sarah, honey…"

She started to cry. At first a few tears escaped and ran down her cheeks but soon she was in full breakdown mode and Olivia was holding her like a child.

"I'm so fucked up…"

" _Sare_ …" Olivia stroked her head, "Sweetheart, calm down."

"I want what you have, Livvie. I want a man. A real man. Like Daddy. And I don't know where that's going to come from. And Hillary…we had fun, we…fooled around, but that wasn't right either. I can't have a _life_ with her. A family. Kids."

"You could."

"I don't love her enough," Sarah choked out, "I don't love _anyone_ enough. Women. Men. _Fuck_. Actually, yes, I love fucking. That's what I love. And drinking."

Olivia gently pushed her away so she was sitting up. "Stop," she said firmly. "You have a tremendous capacity to love. I've seen it. And…okay…maybe you're not ready, or maybe you're scared, or maybe Hillary isn't the one. But, sweetie, _honey_ , if she is…you've gotta be brave enough, trust the support from your family, and let yourself be in love."

Sarah sobbed even more. Olivia let her cry, knowing that anything else she said would be heard but not processed. Sarah didn't let on that the real reason she was so upset was that she didn't know how to explain any of this to Hillary and she'd been aloof and cruel instead.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh," Olivia chanted while rubbing her back. "It'll all be okay."

Out in the squad room, Carisi and Rollins, having returned, squinted curiously into the office.

"Who's that?" Rollins asked. She could only see the top of someone's head.

"Her daughter," Savage replied.

Carisi stood on his tiptoes. "Sarah."

"Oh," Rollins said, completely disinterested, "She always has something going on."

"Sure does," Carisi said. "I'm sure I'll hear about it from Brooke later."

"How's married life treatin' ya?" Savage asked.

Carisi couldn't help but break into a huge grin. "Better than I ever imagined," Carisi said, "Truly awesome."

"Ever going to take her on a honeymoon?" Rollins asked.

"It's in the works. Been talkin' to Tucker about ideas."

Rollins rolled her eyes. "I think you married Brooke to get closer to him."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	53. Chapter 53

**Fifty-three.**

The Tucker vanity had two distinctly different looks. Around Ed's sink were his aftershave, electric razor, and the cologne he sometimes wore. Dividing his space and Olivia's was a bottle of cool mint hand soap and their toothbrushes. To the right was the mountain of hair and body products belonging to Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker. Ed watched from the doorway, amused, as she expertly plucked certain bottles at particular points in her routine, always knowing exactly what was where.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Always." Taking her question as an invitation, Ed sidled up to her and kissed her cheek. "You don't need all this stuff, ya know."

"You're so sweet."

"It's true, but," Ed nuzzled her neck, "Whatever you put on…it… _damn_ …maybe we should have Brooke and Sonny take the kids somewhere and we can stay here."

"Sure," Olivia joked, "Carisi, Brooke, please take our children out so we can make love."

"On the couch," Ed added, "And in the kitchen and maybe on the dining room table. Stay gone for three hours. No, four. Bring the kids back asleep," Ed smirked at the rhyme he was about to deliver, "So I can love her more."

"Perfect babysitter instructions."

"Yep."

"It's awfully quiet out there."

Ed said he would go check on Noah and the twins, but he kept kissing her neck and shoulders.

"Ed?"

"Huh?"

"Kids."

"Oh, yeah, okay." He left but returned seconds later. "Liv, you gotta come out here."

They stepped softly into the hallway. In the open area between the dining table and the living room Noah was standing in front of his easel, marker in hand, teaching the twins. On the paper he'd written wobbly letters—N, M, and W.

"This one for Noah," he spoke slowly and made sure to enunciate every sound. "This one for Maggie. And this one for Wyatt!"

The twins were sitting obediently on the floor in front of them. Noah had fetched the Boppies from their room. The twins hadn't used them for a while, but being semi encased gave Noah some assurance they wouldn't try to escape.

"Now," Noah crouched to their level, "Babies, you try. Wyatt, say NnnnnnnOAH!"

"GAH!" Wyatt batted at Noah's face and babbled some more.

"Silly baby," Noah said. "Okay Maggs. Now you. Say NnnnnnnOAH!"

Maggie simply started giggling at her brother. Noah sighed. "Okay. Lesstry numbers." He went back to the board, tore the page from the pad, and wrote the number one.

"We should video this," Olivia whispered.

"My phone's out there. Where's yours?"

"I don't know."

"Olivia Tucker doesn't know where her phone is?"

"She does not."

"That's so sexy."

Olivia had to swallow her laughter so she wouldn't reveal their presence to their children. She didn't look, but she knew Ed was smirking, proud of himself. Making Olivia smile and laugh made him ridiculously happy.

…..

"Thanks for coming," Sarah opened the door wide for Hillary who strode in, head down, and did not sit and get comfortable when Sarah invited her to do so. They stood across from one another at the kitchen island and stared at their hands. Finally, Sarah mumbled, "I'm sorry. For the way I treated you. That was wrong."

"I really just would like for you to tell me the truth."

"About what?"

Annoyed, Hillary snapped, " _Everything_."

Sarah chose the easiest explanation first. "I truly had no other choice but to send you guys to Argentina. That was a business decision. Swear to God."

Hillary bit her lip and nodded. "Okay."

"And here's the thing, with us?" Sarah gripped the sides of the countertop, "I'm not comfortable."

"Not _comfortable_?"

Sarah understood her exasperation. Since their first kiss, the two of them had only grown _more_ comfortable with one another, and Sarah was often the one initiating intimacy. "I'm simply not ready to be in a relationship, openly, with a woman. I cannot bring myself to do it."

"I didn't expect any of this," Hillary said softly, losing the edge in her voice, "I've only been with men. I never was attracted to a woman until…you. And the things we've…done, it's been…so perfect, it was so good. I don't want this to end."

"It has to," Sarah replied, "It's not fair for you to have to hide with me. And I can't promise you anything. I can't promise commitment. I can't promise that I won't meet a man and want to get married again. I don't…" Sarah took a deep breath. Her words were going to wound Hillary, but they had to be said, "I don't love you, Hill. Not the way you need me to."

Sarah expected her to say "fuck you" and leave. But Hillary marched around the island and practically threw herself at Sarah. Their lips met, crashed together really, and Sarah stepped backwards so she was pinned against the stove. At first, Sarah tried to push her away, but Hillary persisted and smiled when she felt Sarah's hands slip inside of her jeans.

They jostled their way to Sarah's bedroom, tossing aside clothes along the way. Sarah kept telling herself over and over not to do this, to stop, this was wrong, she was, yet again, leading Hillary on, giving her false hope.

But Hillary had been right. Their physical relationship was more satisfying than Sarah had ever experienced with a man. Hillary seemed to instinctively know where to touch and how to work her mouth against Sarah's body so that she was in a constant state of erotic bliss. As Hillary hovered over her, Sarah closed her eyes and sunk her head into the pillow. She thought about Jeff and how her new MO was apparently to seal breakups by having sex. Sarah was selfish and took more than she gave, but Hillary didn't seem to mind. She was determined to prove if Sarah was indeed intent on carrying on with her heterosexual life that the trade-off would be she would never ever feel this good again.

….

Noah delivered a stack of books to Sonny. With his parents absent, the five-year-old took it upon himself to direct the evening's action. He'd already pointed out the babies' favorite spoons and bowls, explained that Maggie always got out of the high chair first, and picked out the twins' pajamas.

"Maggie get two books and Wyatt get two," he said, "Then we put 'em in the cribs, say night-night and love you and then we play a little, jus' the three of us."

Sonny mussed his hair, "Thanks, Noah! Should we read all together here on the couch?"

Noah considered the question. "Ummm, we read on the big bed."

Brooke immediately objected, "We're not going in Liv and Dad's room. Let's just read out here, buddy."

"Yeah," Noah said, "Mommy and Daddy's room messy."

Following Noah's instructions, they put the twins down for the night and then played a few hands of Uno. Brooke expected Noah to fight for extra time, but he went to bed without protest and sweetly asked for extra hugs. When they left his room, Carisi took Brooke's hand and headed for the master bedroom.

"Son, we can't go in there."

"I want to see the messy room."

"Why?"

"I can't picture Lieu's room messy."

"Shit," Brooke murmured. "Fine, just, be quick."

They entered the private quarters and turned on what Sonny assumed was Olivia's bedside lamp. Her glasses and magazines were on the nightstand next to the watch she regularly wore. The bed was unmade and the sheets and comforter were clustered at the end of the mattress.

Sonny eyed the pillows, "They sleep really close together."

" _Cop_."

"Noah was right," his eyes drifted about the room, "I can't believe it."

Brooke wandered around to Ed's side of the bed. She sidestepped the chair and ottoman, both of which were covered with clothes, belts, and even a couple of Olivia's purses. "Unbelievable," she said, staring at a pile of her Dad's sweats. "They're slobs."

Sonny had followed her. When she turned around they collided. "Oof!"

"Hey there," he quipped.

"Hey."

He started kissing her and, judging from the way he invited his tongue into her mouth, kissing wasn't the only thing on his mind.

"Son, not _here_."

He started walking them back, retracing their steps out of the room. They made it to the sofa and Sonny gently shoved her onto the cushions. He tore off his shirt and climbed on top of her.

"What if they come back?" Brooke weakly protested.

"They'll be gone for a while," Sonny said, smiling at the desire in her eyes, "Let me love you."

Brooke grinned and reached for his belt. She wanted him and she said so, whispering the words in his ear, biting his lobe, and moaning as she felt him start to remove her pants. Soon they were naked and using each other's bodies to muffle intense bursts of shrieks and moans.

After, Sonny remained on top of her, kissing her face and grinning uncontrollably. A piece of his hair had worked itself loose from his meticulous comb job and Brooke smoothed it back.

"That was _soooo_ good," she cooed.

"Love makin' love in different places."

"On your in-laws' and your boss' couch no less," Brooke teased.

Sonny laughed and quipped. "Yep, bangin' on the boss' couch."

Brooke cracked up and cupped the back of his head as he kissed her neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

….

The bartender refilled the couple's wine glasses without asking if they wanted more. He assumed, since they had not yet ordered dinner, that they wanted another, but he didn't want to interrupt them. Since taking spots at the bar, they had not been more than a couple inches apart. They smiled and laughed and kissed. He took note of the rings on their fingers and assumed they were surely newlyweds; seasoned couples did not behave this way.

"I like date night," Olivia said.

Ed took a drink and repositioned that hand on her thigh. "Me too. I like any night with you."

"It's nice to get out."

"Yeah. This is, what? Three weeks in a row?"

"It is."

He reached over and played a little with one of her loose curls. "You haven't said much about work lately."

"Miss me griping?"

His expression told her she should know better than to ask such a question. "I love it when you talk to me. About anything."

"Well, we're still trying to figure out how to go after these men who are into this stealthing thing."

"I've seen and heard some pretty out there stuff, but this has to be one of the strangest."

"We caught a similar case a few years ago…the problem is getting a jury to see it as assault…and not just deception."

"Grand jury might be your biggest hurdle."

"Right." Olivia took a sip of her wine. "Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you regret retiring?"

One could not ignore the concern in her eyes, and he answered firmly, "Not one bit."

"Really?"

"Really." He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and leaned in for a kiss, still looking directly into her eyes.

"I just get worried sometimes that you're…unsatisfied."

He broke into a huge smile. "I am the farthest from unsatisfied as I've ever been."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

Abashedly, Olivia's eyes darted around. "Do you…do you want me—"

"No. I don't want you to think about laying down the shield until you… _you_ …feel like it's something you want to think about. And I see that passion still, Liv. It's not time." He grazed her cheek with the back of his index finger, "You still have a lotta fight in ya. I didn't."

She managed a slight smile. "Sometimes I feel like I'm letting you and the kids down by not being there."

"Hey," he replied softly, "You are the most amazing wife and mother, Liv. Nobody feels let down. We _all_ feel lucky you're ours. And I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," Olivia mumbled, flattered a bit coy about it. She held his hand that was not on her thigh and gazed into his blue eyes. She and Ed had been together for nearly three years now and she was still working on accepting the reality that she had a rock solid support system around her. It was difficult to forget the years of disappointment, of the vacant, hollow feelings left for her to battle on her own after others walked away.

Ed knew what she was thinking; he saw it in her eyes, in the way they glistened with hints of tears. "You know," he said, starting to tease her, "Every guy…in the NYPD…in this restaurant is jealous of me."

Olivia followed his lead and bantered along with him. "Oh yeah?" She looked around, "I'm not interested."

"No? Seems like they're some decent men in here."

"I only see one."

He leaned in, "Who's that?"

"I think you're familiar with him. Handsome. A little intimidating at first but once you crack that steely exterior, you realize you can't live without him."

Ed raised his eyebrows. "Hmm." Olivia grinned and he kissed her again on the lips. "Know what?"

"What?"  
"He can't live without you either."

…..

When she invited Hillary over Sarah had simply planned to apologize. There was nothing she could do about Argentina. There was nothing she could do about her reluctance to enter into a committed relationship with Hillary. As far as she was concerned, the two of them needed to be on cordial terms so they could move forward as coworkers.

That was the plan.

But as they lay together in bed, Sarah had a change of heart.

"I want you to have fun when you're away," Sarah said. "There's too much to do and see there to waste your time wallowing."

"I'll try."

"I care about whether or not you're happy, believe it or not."

 _No you don't_ , Hillary thought. _You care about perception_.

Sarah lightly massaged Hillary's hip. "You do believe that, right?"

"No I don't."

Sarah frowned, rolled away from her, and got out of bed. She threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "You cannot force me to feel something I don't feel or do something I am not ready to do. I was just about to say…give me some time, the year you're away…don't wait for me, don't put your life on hold, but things may be different when you come back. You never know. But…if _you_ really cared about _me_ , you would at least try to understand that I am so fucked up right now I cannot possibly be good for you or for me."

Hillary, too, got out of bed and made a humiliating trail back through the apartment, picking up her clothes.

"I hope you find what makes you happy," she muttered. "Bye, Sarah."

…

Ed scooped a tiny piece of caramel cake and ice cream onto the spoon and fed it to Olivia. After flirting through drinks and dinner, the Tuckers ordered dessert to go, went home, and said hurried thank-yous to Brooke and Sonny.

"Good?"

"Mmmhmmm. So good." She took the container and spoon from him, "Your turn."

"Excellent call on the dessert, Lieutenant." He delivered another bite and intentionally missed her mouth, spilling most of the contents of the spoon on her chin and down her neck. "Uh-oh," he murmured. "Lemme get that for ya."

He gently grabbed a handful of brown hair and tilted her head back so he could clean her up.

"Sorry about that," he apologized with a devilish smirk. "Let's try again."

This time he made no show of attempting to land the bite in her mouth. He dribbled melted, caramel-laced ice cream along her collarbone; it ran into her cleavage but also soaked into her blouse.

"Better get this off," he murmured, expertly unbuttoning the blouse and tossing it to the floor. He flung his own sweater and undershirt in the same direction, laid her back on the couch cushions, and buried his face in her chest.

Between gasps and moans, Olivia fumbled with his pants and finally got them unbuttoned and unzipped. "Oh, _Edddd_ ….Dinner was perfect but I've wanted you since we left."

"You have me, baby," he said with his mouth on her breast. "I'm all yours."

"Bedroom?" Olivia asked.

"Uh-uh," Ed replied. He sat up for as long as it took to rid her of her pants and panties, grabbed the cake container, and poured more of the gooey dessert onto Olivia's stomach. "I wanna make love to you right here." He swirled his tongue around her belly button and started moving lower, "And if we get the couch—"

Olivia's hips bucked involuntarily, "Idon'tcareaboutthecouchEd," she exclaimed breathlessly.

Steadying her by grasping her hips, he smirked, and gave her exactly what she wanted.

…

 **#Tuckson**


	54. Chapter 54

**Fifty-four.**

Ed repeatedly whispered Olivia's name. They were still naked, curled up with one another on the couch, and covered with a throw blanket. As much as he loved having his wife flush against his body, they needed to put clothes on. The sun was rising.

"Liv?" He kissed behind her ear. "Wake up, baby."

She opened her eyes ever so slightly.

He smiled. "I've been tryin' to get ya to wake up for twenty minutes."

"I heard you…a little…" she mumbled, "I think maybe I forgot _I_ was _Liv_."

"You were totally out."

Olivia sat up, kissed him, and whispered in his ear, "When you fuck me like you did that's what happens."

"When you talk like that it makes me want to do it all over again."

"C'mon," she said with a wink, "We have time."

…..

Ed and Olivia spent the Saturday afternoon before Valentine's Day helping Noah put together a school project entitled "My Family." The preschoolers were presenting their work all throughout the week, and Noah had volunteered to go first. His teacher told Olivia when she asked for volunteers, Noah's hand immediately shot up and he excitedly talked about how he would show everyone "his babies."

Noah went through dozens of pictures on both Ed's and Olivia's phones and chose ten to print and mount on his board. He was now kneeling on a chair, arranging and rearranging the pictures before permanently mounting them. Olivia was cutting out bubble letters, and Ed was typing descriptions Noah had narrated to him earlier.

"All done," Noah announced.

Olivia looked up, interested in seeing how he finally organized everything. A photo of the entire family, including Caroline, was at the top. Then there were individuals of Brooke, Sarah, and Sonny. Then one of him and holding Maggie and Wyatt. He also added a picture of himself at basketball practice and headshots he'd taken of each of the babies just a few days ago.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweet boy?"

"You cut out some hearts please?"

"Of course."

Ed clicked print and started cutting the descriptions so they could be glued under each photograph. "Okay, bud. These are ready. Don't forget, you have to practice what you're gonna say."

"Kay."

"Maybe we can do that later and Mommy and me and the babies will be your audience."

"Yep! Like I'm the teacher and you the kids!"

"That's right."

"We bring the babies to my school?"

Ed glanced at Olivia.

"Sweetie, I don't think that's allowed," she said even though she was desperately wishing parents were invited; she'd forgotten to ask the teacher when she picked him up Friday afternoon.

"We don't get to see him present?" Ed asked, clearly disappointed.

"I…I don't know. I guess I can email his teacher."

Ed handed her the laptop. "It's kinda unfair if we don't get to see it. It's his first project!"

"It is…but I don't think they expect the actual _family_ to come in," Olivia said, smiling. "If they did, they would've invited us. But…I'll email her."

"Speaking of babies…I hear one," Ed went into the twins' room and came out carrying Maggie. Still coming out of her nap, she curled her head into Ed's neck. He smoothed her light brown hair to the side—she would probably be the first of the twins to need a haircut.

"Hey there my sweet girl! Did you have a good nap?" Olivia cooed. Maggie smiled lazily but showed no desire to leave Ed's arms.

Noah tugged at one of her stockinged feet. "Look, Maggs! Here ya are! On my project!"

"I love the pictures you chose, Noah," Olivia said.

"Thanks! Some with just one person and then some with lotsa Tuckers!"

"I see. I bet Grandma Caroline will be so happy she was included."

"I tell her?" Noah asked.

"Want to call her?"

"Uh-huh!"

It took three attempts at Face Time before Caroline successfully accepted the call. Her loud perky voice resonated throughout the apartment as she and Noah chatted. He showed her the board and then took the phone to his room to demonstrate the new train track configuration.

"Oh wow," Olivia said, "She emailed me back already. Guess what?"

Ed raised his eyebrows.

"We can go!"

…..

Ed felt terrible having to ask how to get to Sarah's office; he had never once visited her there. He knew the name of her firm, so he was able to get to receptionist on their main floor and she politely gave him instructions.

"Take the elevator to seventy-five. Once you get off, turn right, and her office will be on the right."

"Thanks."

"He's adorable."

Ed looked proudly at Wyatt, "Thanks."

"How old?"

"Ten months."

"Those _cheeks_."

Ed bounced Wyatt a little, "Can ya give her a smile, bud?" Wyatt's hands shyly flew to his face and he put his head on Ed's shoulder, "Awww. Takes him a bit to warm up."

"Well, you come see me before you leave…what's his name?"

"Wyatt."

"And you are?"

"Ed," he outstretched his hand, "Ed Tucker."

"Well, Ed and Wyatt Tucker, very nice to meet you."

The comely woman's eyes twinkled, but Ed was immune to her overt flirting. "Said seventy-five?"

"Yes."

Sarah's door was open but she was facing her window, so she didn't immediately realize the presence of her father and brother until Wyatt made a little noise.

"Omigod!" She shot up from her chair and took Wyatt, "What a great surprise!"

"Was hopin' you were free for lunch," Ed said, "Haven't seen much of ya lately."

"Of course you two handsome men can take me to lunch," Sarah replied breezily as she danced Wyatt across her office. "Where's Maggie?"

"She came down with somethin' Saturday. Was running a fever yesterday so Liv took her to the doctor just to be safe."

Sarah unzipped Wyatt's parka and inspected his outfit. "Daddy you and Livvie dress these kids so adorably I cannot get over it." Wyatt was wearing jeans and a gray cardigan with elbow patches.

"That's all Liv. And you."

"And these boots! They look like the ones Noah has."

"Yeah, he wanted Wyatt to have the same ones. That's as close as we could get."

"So cute. Okay, where to? You just reminded me I'm starving to death. I didn't have breakfast. Well, I never have breakfast…"

"Do you, uh," Ed hesitated a second, "You want to see if Hillary wants to join us?"

For a split second father and daughter locked identical pairs of blue eyes, and Sarah knew she was going to have to have a Hillary-related disclosure with her Dad. She purposely gave Olivia the go ahead to relay details to Ed under the guise of being considerate, but mostly it was because she was too chicken to do it herself.

"Probably not a good idea," Sarah said, "She's…um…we're not exactly on friendly, _going out to lunch_ terms."

Concern etched itself on Ed's face, "What happened?"

Sarah grabbed her coat, "C'mon. Lunch. I'll tell ya all about it."

….

Olivia called Carisi to check in before she left the doctor's office. Everything was calm and under control, so she took her time, picked up Maggie's prescription, and went home. It always seemed weird coming home in the middle of the day like this when the apartment was silent and still. She diluted some Pedialyte and took Maggie to the rocking chair. She hated that her daughter wasn't feeling well, but she relished that Maggie wanted to be held and cuddled—something she generally did not tolerate for long bouts.

"Drink a little, precious girl." Olivia coaxed. Maggie took a sip then screwed up her face and cried a little. Olivia tried again and Maggie drank a little more. "There ya go. This and the medicine will make you all better."

Maggie's eyes started to flutter closed. Olivia switched her to her shoulder and alternated between rubbing circles on her back and patting it. She started humming the tune of Roy Orbison's _You Got It_ , the song she and Ed danced to at their wedding, until she remembered the lyrics and softly sang them. Maggie's body gradually grew heavier with sleep. Olivia leaned her head against her daughter's and closed her eyes as well.

…..

Ed snagged a high chair for Wyatt but Sarah refused to let him sit there.

"He's with me," she said. "I need baby snuggles." She kissed Wyatt's head, growled, and playfully bit his cheek. "I love these cheeks, Wyatt!"

"So does your receptionist."

"Oh _gawwwwwd_. Did she flirt with you?"

"Yes. With me and Wyatt."

"Well Daddy," Sarah said, "You are two handsome men…but…a guy with a baby? That's really hot."

"I'm married. Happily."

"I'm sure she doesn't care."

Ed grinned at his daughter but quickly became serious. "So…ya gonna tell me what's going on?"

It all came pouring out—Sarah developing romantic feelings for Hillary, getting the courage to finally kiss her, and spending time together as an actual couple. "And then…" Sarah explained, "I epically freaked out."

Hearing his daughter talk about love and intimacy with a woman, to Ed's surprise, didn't make him uncomfortable. He listened and was more bothered by the angst in her voice than anything else.

"Can you clarify… _epically freaking out_?" He asked.

"I sent her to Argentina and told her I'm not brave."

Ed winced as if he'd been smacked in the face. "What?"

Sarah explained the firm's expansion and Ed responded pragmatically, "So your job and your personal life overlapped and she took it personally."

" _Exactly_. Thank you. _Jeez_."

"But you also weren't honest with her."

"Not completely," Sarah's frustration with herself was evident, "You know how it is…you get together with someone and it's kind of a secret and it's, like, a thrill, right?"

Ed's lips curled upwards. "For me and Liv it was a thrill until Eugene screwed it up. But at some point we were gonna have to say something."

"Well, why didn't you?"

Ed thought for a few seconds, "To be honest, I don't think either one of us really thought about it. Things happened so gradually, and Liv's a private person, and so am I…it wasn't like we were hiding."

"But why didn't you just come out and say you were dating?"

"Because that's not how it works in the real world, Sarah," Ed patiently replied, "And that's not how Liv is. We were going out—having dinner, drinks—and the whole thing with the church happened fast, we thought we could get ahead of it, but that's not how it worked out. And, luckily, it _worked out_."

Sarah focused on Wyatt for a few minutes, made him laugh and kissed more at his chubby cheeks before finally blurting out, "Daddy, I just cannot publicly be a lesbian."

"That's your choice. Your decision. But I really hope it's _yours_."

"It is."

"Because me, Liv, everyone, we love you and we're here for you and will support you. We want you to be happy, sweetheart. At the end of the day, that's what it's all about."

"I'm starting to really hate that word," Sarah said.

"What word?"

"Happy."

Ed fixated on Wyatt as he organized what he wanted to say next. He felt himself reverting to IAB mode—simultaneously crafting a response while also predicting his adversary's argument. Only, Sarah wasn't an adversary.

Olivia was right. Babies provided the best distractions. Wyatt happily played with the toys Sarah had taken from his bag. He also banged the spoon a few times and chewed on the cloth napkin. Even though he was content in Sarah's arms, his eyes never drifted far from his Daddy. Ed hated to admit that the memories of Sarah and Brooke as infants were fuzzy at best, and he vowed to remedy that oversight by being as present as possible for Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt. He reached across the table and played Wyatt's favorite game—Ed would cover his little hand with one of his and Wyatt would break free only to have his hand "captured" again by his Daddy's fingers.

" _Omigod_ ," Sarah gushed, "He loves you so much."

"He's a good boy."

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you a really awful question?"

"Okay." Ed was nonchalant. Very often Sarah's assessments were highly exaggerated.

"Do you ever worry about Noey? You know…not being biologically… _yours_?"

"Never."

"Never?"

For the second time that afternoon, Ed surprised himself. Sarah's question was valid, but he thought he should maybe be offended or upset that she saw a distinction between Noah and the twins. However, he had a remarkable sense of clarity and understanding.

He ordered another round of drinks and Wyatt's mashed potatoes and, at the last minute, remembered that Olivia ordered them with no salt and half butter.

"Sare, I thought of Noah as my son almost immediately. I thought of him like that before even Liv was willing to let me think like that."

"You always wanted a boy."

Ed disagreed. "That's not true. Like I told you before…I wanted a second chance. And I got it. But when Liv first let me meet Noah, it was an almost instantaneous connection."

"You probably snuck him junk food."

"Of course. Couldn't hurt."

"And now you have two new babies…"

Ed locked eyes with his daughter again, "And they are going to have absolutely every opportunity in the world. Just like you had. Just like you took advantage of. And they will love you. And we will love you. Sarah, I don't care who you're with…I just want you to be happy."

"Daddy," Sarah moaned, "I don't even know what that means."

…

Whenever Olivia and Ed entered the preschool classroom, the teachers straightened up, as if they were about to be interrogated. When Olivia wasn't on duty, she didn't have her Glock, but on this particular day, the Lieutenant was on duty so both her badge and gun were visible as the children presented their projects. Trying to remain inconspicuous, Ed and Olivia huddled in the back of the classroom with a few other parents. Maggie and Wyatt were in the stroller, but it wouldn't be long until they started shrieking to be free. Preemptively Ed and Olivia took them from their seats. Something about Olivia holding Maggie and also wearing a holstered weapon and shield made Ed weak in the knees.

"Lieutenant," He whispered. "Are we taking the twins to day care after this?"

The glint in his eyes betrayed his true intentions. Olivia nodded. "Yes. They're definitely going to day care. And I'm going to work." She smiled at his disappointment and lightly kissed his cheek.

Noah was perfect. He projected his voice like his parents had coached him to do and he was remarkably confident in front of an audience. Dressed in khakis, a crisp white shirt and blue tie, he looked and sounded as though he'd been orating for years. He emphasized that his parents were police officers. He talked about holidays with Caroline, and working with Sarah, and pizza with Brookey, and his effort to educate his baby brother and sister.

"And!" He exclaimed, so excited he could hardly contain himself, "THEY HERE!"

All eyes followed Noah as he ran back to his parents and greeted his siblings. "BABIES!" He jumped in front of Maggie and Wyatt and they erupted into laughter, completely enraptured by their big brother and straining to grab him. Noah hugged them quickly.

"And that's my fam'ly!"

"Let's give Noah a round of applause!" His teacher said. The class clapped their hands and Noah grinned. "Great job! It's hard to go first, but you were awesome!" She held up her hand for a high five and he slapped it.

While the next child was setting up, Ed and Olivia said goodbye to Noah.

"You want to take off the tie, bud?"

"Nope. I wear it."

"Sweet boy, I'm so proud of you," Olivia gushed, "You were awesome!"

"Sure were, pal. We're gonna have to celebrate tonight." Noah opened his eyes wide at "celebrate." Ed laughed. "Within reason. It is Tuesday."

"We have choc'lit cake?"

"Sure."

Olivia saw the teacher patiently waiting for them to either stop talking or leave. She kissed the top of Noah's head and nudged Ed. "We have to go, sweetheart. See you later."

"Bye bud."

Noah kissed each of the babies and returned to his class. When Ed and Olivia were in the corridor and almost out of earshot they heard his voice.

"Mommy goin' to p'lice. I have a badge, too! I bring it tomorrow."

Ed intentionally bumped into his wife. "Think he's gonna be a cop?"

"And waste those math skills?"

"Computer crimes?"

"I like that idea," Olivia replied, "Much safer."

They got the twins secured in the backseat and Ed took the wheel. "Since we're not going home," he pouted albeit good-naturedly, "Can I drive ya to the precinct?"

"How about you buy me a cup of coffee first?"

He leaned over for a kiss. "My pleasure."

…

 **#Tuckson**


	55. Chapter 55

**Fifty-five.**

Given Ed's Valentine's Day history, Olivia was slightly taken aback when she arrived in her office on the morning of February 14 and did not find flowers already sitting on her desk. She figured Ed simply was waiting until later, so she sat down, powered on her laptop, and picked up where she left off the day before.

It wasn't long before Rollins poked her head in. "Lieutenant?"

Olivia took off her reading glasses, "Hey. What's going on?"

"We have someone in interrogation down the hall. You should probably sit in on this one."

Olivia assumed it was another perp related to the stealthing assaults, so she followed Rollins without question even though it was early. Annoyed, she forcefully pushed open the door and froze, slack-jawed, when she saw Ed sitting at the table with a smirk on his face and a gigantic vase of roses at his side. In addition to the flowers, he also brought coffee and bagels.

"You missed breakfast," he said matter-of-factly.

Rollins grinned and closed the door, leaving them alone.

Olivia walked around the table and kissed him. "You're… _wow_ …I am certainly surprised."

"Thought I forgot?"

"No…"

"Yes you did," he teased, "It's okay, Lieutenant. You can admit it."

"I think you're a little too comfortable back in interrogation," Olivia remarked as she dragged a chair over.

"Maybe," he half-whispered. "Happy Valentine's Day, Liv." He played with her hair a little, cupped the back of her head, and kissed her deeply, loving that she let him linger on her lips for longer than he'd expected.

"I never used to like Valentine's Day," Olivia said.

"Me neither." Ed reached for the bagels and put Olivia's coffee in front of her, "Now I look forward to it. _But_ , I _always_ look forward to proving how much I love you."

Olivia took a small bite of her bagel. Ed had proven his love for her a long time ago, but his continued devotion to showing it continually warmed her heart. There was no point in telling him it was unnecessary.

"This is so nice," she cooed, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you. _And_ , this isn't all. Dinner tonight. Don't forget."

"Of course not," Olivia replied, "And…Sarah's really okay with three kids?"

"She's very much looking forward to it."

They finished their food and Ed carried the flowers to her office. Rollins, Carisi, and Fin simply grinned and went back to work, but Detective Savage gawked as he watched Tucker place the vase on the credenza and kiss the Lieutenant like no one was watching. She threw her arms around his neck and unabashedly kissed back.

"That's right I forgot," Carisi quipped when he noticed Savage staring, "We shoulda warned the new guy about Valentine's Day."

"Did you take a page out of Tucker's playbook?" Rollins asked.

Fin joined in, "First Valentine's Day as a married man. Can't screw it up."

Carisi grinned smugly. "Flowers should be there any minute. Hopefully they'll deliver them to her classroom and not let them sit in the office all day."

"Did you send a bouquet like _that_?" Rollins jerked her head toward the office.

"Almost," Carisi grinned, "But…there's no point in competing with the Captain. He's the king of romance."

"Who woulda thought," Fin muttered.

Rollins laughed. "No kidding."

…..

Noah came home with a shark backpack full of red, pink, and white artwork, but three particular pieces were neatly stowed in a large envelope. He carefully removed the contents and presented three cards to his parents, Maggie, and Wyatt. Inside each heart-shaped greeting was a handprint and a message written by an adult but clearly created by Noah.

 _I love Mommy and Daddy because they're the best Mommy and Daddy and take care of me and my babies._

 _I love Wyatt because he laughs and he crawls and he's nice._

 _I love Maggie because she's my small sister and she gives kisses._

At the bottom of each card, he'd written his own name.

"Wow, Noah, thank you!" Olivia gushed, "These are so, so nice. We love you, too."

"Those babies are eatin' the cards!"

Ed took the babies' cards and secured them to the refrigerator door with a magnet. Not happy with this, Maggie scrambled on all fours into the kitchen, stopped at Ed's feet, and looked up longingly. He crouched down and bopped her nose. "Can't eat the cards, Maggie May," he said, "There's paint on 'em."

Olivia dumped some Gerber Graduates puffs into a bowl. "Here baby girl. Ed, let's at least feed them before Sarah gets here. I know she's ordering food for her and Noah, but they should eat. It's getting late."

"Go get ready," he replied. "I got it."

"I got it, too!" Noah said. "I help brother!"

Noah's new favorite thing was sitting on the island with one baby's food at his side. Ed would push the high chair so it was as close to him as possible. Noah expertly put small portions of food on the spoon and gave it to whichever sibling was in front of him. Tonight's meal was macaroni and cheese. Ed smashed the noodles into bits, and he and Noah got to work giving Maggie and Wyatt their dinner.

"Save room for dessert!" Noah advised. "Sare bear bringin' ice cream!"

"How do ya know that, bud?"

Noah giggled, a little sarcastically as if Ed should've known better. "I _telled_ her to!"

"Oh, well, alright then," Ed replied, sounding serious but entertained with Noah's chatter. "Know what? We should make her a Valentine before she gets here."

" _Daddy_ ," Noah sighed, "I maked one at school."

"Oh. I didn't see it in your bag."

"S'in my room. We gonna s'prise her!"

Ed stopped feeding Maggie for a second to give Noah a quick side hug and kiss. "You're the best brother, pal."

Noah hugged him back. "You da best Daddy."

…

Ed nodded to the restaurant host, gave his name, and took Olivia's hand. The host led them through the Japanese restaurant, past a curtain, and into a speakeasy-designed back room. To the left was a small bar and straight ahead was a cozy table for two overlooking Stuyvesant Square. The space was dimly lit in a reddish-orange hue, tabletop candles flickered, and smooth jazz tunes could be heard over the patrons' hushed voices. Ed thanked the man and they took their seats at the table.

"This okay?"

"I love it," Olivia said softly, "I had no idea this was here."

A tuxedoed server quickly came over and asked for their drink orders. There was a dizzying selection of specialty cocktails, and Ed finally asked, "Can the bartender do something with bourbon?"

"Of course, sir. Ma'am?"

Olivia quickly made a decision, "I'll try…well, let me start simple with the plum wine." She put the menu down and smiled at her husband. "How did you find this place?"

"Went to lunch at the restaurant a couple weeks ago. One of the DAs mentioned it."

"Nice they take reservations."

"They don't."

Olivia cocked her head and gestured at their table, "This seems… _reserved_."

Ed leaned forward, requesting a kiss. "They took one for me."

Rendered speechless, Olivia met his lips and they traded chaste kisses across the table until their drinks showed up. Ed raised his glass and said simply, "To us."

"To us," Olivia echoed and they took their first sips without taking their eyes off one another.

"Now," Ed picked up a food menu, "I don't know about the food…looks a little… _too_ _creative_."

"I bet it's delicious," Olivia said, "A new culinary adventure."

"I love our culinary adventures." He gazed at her, entranced by the way she looked in the candlelight. Needing to touch her, he reached over and took her hand. "I was gonna wait for later to give you your gift, but I kinda need to see you wear it right now," he said.

" _Ed_ , we said no gifts."

"I know. But I saw this," he pulled a rectangular box from his jacket pocket, "And knew it had to be yours."

Ed smirked as he opened the box. Inside was a Cartier love necklace—a yellow gold chain with two intertwined rings. Overwhelmed by his extravagance, Olivia covered her mouth with her hands and gasped, "Oh my God."

Ed removed it from the box and stood up so he could put it on her. He kissed her cheek and sat back down. "I was right. I knew it belonged on your neck."

Grinning now and fingering the hoops, Olivia murmured, "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything," he replied, "That smile. That's all I need."

….

At the Tucker apartment, Noah and the babies were running Sarah ragged. They gorged on the ice cream and Noah suggested they all take a bath in the big tub. Sarah consented and filled the tub with lukewarm water and bubble bath. Soon the floor, the shaggy rugs, and Sarah were all soaked. Drying two mobile babies proved challenging. Sarah thought it would be easier to get Noah into his pajamas first so he could help, but Maggie and Wyatt took off, crawling and dripping, into the bedroom and down the hall. Once Sarah finally wrangled everyone, she hunted around for a t-shirt to borrow and, in the process, came across what looked to be a new red teddy.

" _Hm_ ," she said to herself, "Livvie's V-day present for Daddy. _Nice_."

Ed and Olivia told her to put the twins to bed between seven-thirty and eight, but it was after nine o'clock and she was crawling around on the floor with Noah on her back, chasing the twins.

"We're gonna getcha, Maggs and Wyatt!" Noah shouted and kicked his heels into Sarah's sides. "C'mon horsie!"

When they caught up with the twins everyone fell into a heap of giggles and tickles.

"Okay babies!" Noah shouted, "Now you chase me!" To be fair, Noah crawled instead of ran away from his brother and sister. He paused every few inches and enticed them to keep up the pursuit by waving a toy. When he allowed them to catch up, he exaggeratedly fell onto his stomach. "Ahhhhh! You got me!" They piled on Noah and pawed at his face. "Ewww! Maggs! You blowin' your bubbles on me!"

Sarah was sitting at the island, taking a break and snapping pictures. "Noey? Don't you think we should put brother and sissy to bed? Mommy and Daddy are going to be home soon."

Noah looked up from the floor. "Those babies are NOT tired!"

"How 'bout we chill out and give them bottles and read?" Sarah bargained, "I'm gonna get in trouble."

"Okay Sare Bear. I get the books." Noah scrambled away from Maggie's reach once more. She squealed and pursued him all the way down the hall and into his room. Wyatt pulled himself up on his knees, using one of the dining chair legs for support. He looked up at Sarah, a little bewildered.

"Where'd they go, Wyatt?" Sarah sweetly asked. She clapped her hands. "C'mere cutie pie. We'll go get 'em!"

…..

Ed and Olivia weren't in the elevator thirty seconds before Ed pinned her against the wall. There was no deliberate prelude to the kiss; he attacked her mouth almost violently, holding her head in his hands so it didn't slam against the paneling. They didn't come up for air until the elevator doors opened at their floor, and even then Ed made no move to exit. He took a quick, sharp breath and started all over again until the doors rattled and jerked. He stuck a foot out to stop them from closing again.

"Guess we better relieve the babysitter."

Olivia grinned against his lips and tickled his stomach, "Probably for the best."

Most of Sarah's blonde hair was still in a ponytail, but some strands had fallen out of the elastic band and stood out wildly. Her eye makeup was smeared and her typically pink cheeks were ashen; she exuded absolutely no energy.

"Rough night?" Ed asked, still wiping his mouth free from lipstick traces.

Olivia was still in the foyer making a production of removing her boots in order to use the extra seconds to sneak peeks in the mirror. The elevator make-out session and the cab kisses most likely had taken a toll on her appearance.

"Does it look that obvious?" Sarah asked.

"Yes."

"Sweetie," Olivia sighed, "You should've called us!"

"It was actually fine," she reported sheepishly, rubbing her eyes, darkening the black streaks trailing toward her temples. "They just…gawwwd they got all wound up and wore me out playing chase. I think I crawled three miles around this place. Oh," Sarah pinched the shirt fabric, "Livvie I had to borrow a shirt. We needed a bath after ice cream and the bath, of course, turned into Splash Mountain."

Olivia smiled graciously, "Thank you, sweetheart. Your Dad will take you home."

"No, no, I'll walk."

"No," Ed adamantly protested, "Let me at least put you in a cab."

Ed walked Sarah up to Ninth Avenue and hailed a taxi. When he returned, the apartment was dark except for the under cabinet lighting. He went to the bedroom where Olivia was waiting for him posed on her side, head propped on her elbow. She wore nothing but the new necklace.

"I bought a little something to wear to bed," she intoned in a husky voice, nodding subtly to where she'd tossed the lingerie, "but I thought maybe you'd prefer me in this."

Ed's eyes darted back and forth a few times between his naked wife and the teddy, and he contemplatively chewed the inside of his mouth.

"No brainer." He unbuttoned his shirt at an agonizingly slow pace and did the same with his belt buckle and pants.

Olivia was more than ready for him, but she played it cool and stayed still, admiring each part of his body as he slowly exposed it to her. She almost lost her nerve when he peeled away the final layer—his boxer briefs—and stood before her completely naked. Gradually he stepped to the bed wearing an intrigued expression as if she were a completely new discovery, something utterly out of this world. He ran a finger across her cheek and continued, outlining her body, eliciting chills and goosebumps.

"Amazing," he marveled.

"What's that?" She asked nonchalantly.

"You're fucking amazing."

Unable to feign disinterest any longer, Olivia sat up and clutched his hips. He rocked back and forth into her chest while she planted kisses all over his midsection. Already worked up, he started to move forward and climb on top of her, but she had other ideas.

" _Liv_ ," he rasped in response to her pushing him backwards and lowering her head.

She hissed. " _Shhhhhhh_."

Obeying her command, he pressed his eyes closed and reveled in the feel of her tongue swirling around him and the fingers on one of her hands just barely grazing him, tantalizing his nerves and causing him to involuntarily jerk into her. He mumbled a faint "sorry" which Olivia either didn't hear or ignored.

" _Liv_ , I'm _close_." He weakly warned.

"Good."

He grabbed a handful of brown hair, tenderly tilted back her head, and kissed her briefly but just as passionately as he'd went after her in the elevator.

"I wanna love you first."

Seconds later he had deftly lifted her to the center of the mattress and was between her legs, droning phrases like, "God, you're so good" in a throaty voice, creating additional, pleasure-inducing vibrations.

It was her turn to gasp and buck her hips and moan elongated _yesses_.

He lifted his head and told her to turn over. Ed entered her from behind, kissed her neck, and massaged her breasts while maintaining a slow, deliberate rhythm. Olivia threw her head back, colliding with his, when one of Ed's hands dropped to her center. He knew her. He knew exactly when the intensity of her writhing and her moans signaled an impending climax. At the last second he hit the brakes.

" _Ed_ ," Olivia groaned.

He smirked, swearing he'd never heard such deep disappointment in her voice. She collapsed on her back, staring up at him with desperate, pleading eyes.

"I gotta see you." He smothered her mouth with his, eyes open, and resumed making love to her. They tried to do everything at once—kiss, cry out, climax—it was deliciously chaotic and frantic, so much so that Olivia had to fight to tear her mouth away from his in order to avoid biting down on his tongue. Surely she would have drawn blood.

" _Baby_."

Ed thrust harder and harder. Olivia's nails made vicious-looking striations down his back. He wasn't sure he'd ever stop coming.

She murmured a stupefied, " _fuck_."

"When I die this is the last think I'll think about." Ed draped his body over her, knowing he should maybe give her some air but selfishly unwilling to surrender even a sliver of space between their bodies.

Slightly amazed she could form words, Olivia mumbled, "There'll be a lot more of this before then."

"This is all time top five. At least."

He couldn't see it but he could tell by her tone that her eyebrow was cocked in the flirty, sassy fashion that drove him absolutely insane with desire.

"We'll see."

Ed rolled off her slightly, just enough so he could play with the rings on her new necklace. "Damn, this looks good on you."

"Are you going to be able to handle me wearing it on a daily basis? Be able to control yourself?"

He slithered back on top of her.

"Lieutenant, I really don't think so."

….

 **#Tuckson**


	56. Chapter 56

**Fifty-Six.**

Ed initially balked at Sarah's plan to take Noah to see _School of Rock_. He frowned, rubbed his face, wrinkled his nose, and asked, "Isn't a little too much for him?"

"Daddy, you've never seen it."

Ed scrolled through his phone, "Seems like it's more for adults."

"Nah," Sarah replied, sounding a lot like her father, "He'll love the music and the kid actors. The adult humor will fly right over his head."

"Every time we think that he ends up asking questions."

Frustrated, Sarah put her hands on her hips and made her most powerful argument, " _Daddy_. I am standing in front of you with two _third row_ center tickets and I want to take your son. This will be his second Broadway show and I'm horrified it's only his second. He needs _culture_ in his life."

Olivia patted Ed's stomach, "I think it's fine."

"Can't you see _Aladdin_?" Ed asked in a rare instance of ignoring his wife.

"Sure. But not this time. I. Already. Have. The. Tickets." Sweetening the pot, Sarah added, "And he can spend the night with me." There was no hiding his leering from Sarah. She snapped her fingers. " _Aaaaannnnd_ , that did it."

Olivia blushed. She immediately saw the wheels turning in Ed's mind and wondered what he had in store for their evening alone with the twins who would be safely trapped in their cribs. Two nights ago while they cleaned the kitchen, Ed's flirting quickly escalated to foreplay and he was seconds from yanking Olivia's sweats off and hoisting her onto the counter when Noah trotted out complaining that the nightlight that projected stars onto his ceiling was no longer working.

"Okay," Sarah sighed with finality. "I'm off to meet Brookey for a Friday night drinkey drink. Anyone wanna join me?"

Ed started to say no, but Olivia suggested he go enjoy a few hours with his daughters. "You three haven't spent much time together lately. Go have a belated Valentine's Day drink or two."

"You sure?" He glanced warily at Maggie and Wyatt.

"Yes. Go."

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, "I'll bring dinner."

"Okay."

Before leaving Ed picked up each twin for a hug and a kiss and wouldn't put Maggie or Wyatt back on the floor until they gave him a smile. Wyatt was easy. Ed held him high in the air and the little boy squealed in delight and then picked Maggie up and nuzzled her neck. Her little hands pawed at his head and she babbled over and over.

"Ba, ba, ba, ba…"

Ed cupped her head and tilted her body backwards, "You wanna say Da-da?"

"Ba, ba, ba, ba…"

Sarah whispered to Olivia, "He's gonna cry when she says it, isn't he?"

Olivia was near tears just thinking about it. "Maybe."

…..

On the fifth check-in text, Olivia finally had to lay down the law. She told him to stop checking in and enjoy himself and the company of his older daughters. For the twins' first few months they avoided leaving one another alone with all three kids for extended periods of time, but now they were easily manageable, at least at home. Taking three of them out occasionally got tricky.

After Maggie and Wyatt were in bed, Olivia and Noah camped out on the couch and rifled through the contents of his backpack. At the end of the week all of Noah's work came home and she removed each page, one by one, from his green "home" folder. He told her about each one. There were worksheets with printed wobbly capital letters, simple sight words, and, of course, his math pages. Olivia raised her eyebrows at something called number bonds.

"Wow Noah, this looks hard!"

"Not hard," he shrugged. "It easy. See? There one, two, three, four fish in da pond and one more come so we jus' keep countin to five!"

Olivia picked up on the method. "Can you make five any other way than putting four and one together?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah flipped the page over. " _See_! I do it right here!"

Olivia examined Noah's work. "Oh, I see, three circles plus two circles—"

"Mommy!" Noah interrupted, "Those aren't circles! They da Tuckers!"

" _Ohhhh_."

Noah jabbed his index finger at the page. "See? We have Mommy, Daddy, and Noah. Three. Then we get Maggie and Wyatt. Four, FIVE!"

Olivia kissed his head. "You're so, so smart Noah." She tossed the rest of the papers on the coffee table and pulled him into her lap. "Do you remember when it was just the two of us? Before Daddy lived in our apartment?"

Noah twisted his lips and thought. "When we go on the big big airplane?"

"To Paris?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You remember Paris?"

"Uh-huh! We eat da p'cakes with choc-lit."

He meant crepes. Olivia was astonished he recalled that trip. "So, then, when you were little like Maggie and Wyatt, it was just you and me."

"Then we add Daddy!"

"We sure did."

"Cause Daddy your hubbind!"

"Hus-band," Olivia sweetly corrected. "And, yes he is."

"Daddy say he love Mommy this much," Noah spread his arms as wide as he could.

Excited she was getting some previously unknown details of a prior Noah-Ed conversation, Olivia pressed for more. "He said that?"

"Uh-huh! When we buyed this." Noah lightly touched her necklace. "Daddy tell da man, 'need that one' and the man gived it and Daddy give da card."

"You were with him when he bought this?"

"Uh-huh. It a s'prise." Noah giggled. "Den Daddy tell me I haveta buy one for my…my…"

Olivia helped him out. "Wife?"

"Yep! But I'm too little!"

"Yes you are, sweet boy," she kissed his head again and held him more tightly, loving this heart-to-heart, "You're still my little boy."

"Wyatt littler."

She chuckled, "Yes he is."

"Sare Bear and Brookey big."

"Yep."

"Why they so big?" Noah leaned back and looked up at her with wide, curious eyes.

"Because Daddy had them before he met us." Noah's little forehead crinkled in confusion and Olivia continued. "Sometimes that happens, sweetie."

"Sare Bear call you _Livvie_."

"Right. She has her own Mommy. You met her once. That was Daddy's wife before me."

" _You_ Daddy's wife."

Olivia turned him around so she could look him in the eyes. "I am. But Daddy had another wife before. When he was younger. You know what's funny, Noah?"

"What?" He asked, super interested in the humorous revelation.

She tried to figure out a good way to characterize their early relationship so Noah could possibly understand. "A long, long time ago Daddy and I weren't friends. We didn't get along. We weren't nice to each other."

Noah fell against her and giggled. "Mommy, that's silly!"

"I _know_. Because Daddy's such an awesome Daddy and husband, isn't he?"

"Uh-huh!" Noah enthusiastically agreed and allowed Olivia to hold him close for a few more seconds, "Awesome."

…

Ed laid his credit card on the bar and announced the next round would be his last. He'd already stayed longer than he'd intended, he'd promised Olivia dinner, and Sarah was teetering on the edge of buzzed up and drunk.

"No, Daddy!" Sarah implored, " _Stay_!"

"Okay, one more," he relented, "But then I have to get home. Liv's probably starving but she told me to stop checking in."

"That's funny," Brooke said, "I told Son the same thing last weekend when he was out with his Academy friends."

"Lookit you two," Sarah gushed, "all relationshippy."

"Gotta make sure I hang on to her," Ed remarked, obviously affected by the alcohol. He took a big gulp of his fresh drink and stared blankly at the rows of liquor bottles arranged on shelves behind the bar.

Sarah frowned, "Daddy don't be silly."

Also concerned, Brooke asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No no no. It's just—"

Sarah didn't let him finish the explanation. "We know Daddy. She's fucking hot and awesome and Brooke and I still can't figure out how in the hell you got so lucky."

"Me neither."

"Saw that Cartier you got her," Sarah said, "That's a nice insurance policy."

The necklace was an extravagant, maybe even a little bit of a reckless purchase. After all, he and Olivia had three kids to raise and put through college and the two grand he dropped on a piece of jewelry could have been spent more wisely. However, a few days before Valentine's Day, a strange uneasiness dogged Ed Tucker. As he saw Olivia mother their children and spend the last hour or so before bed catching up on paperwork and then gasp his name as he made love to her…his undying admiration for his wife morphed into the frightening prospect that she was too good for him.

"Yeah," Ed managed to sound jovial, "I dunno how I'm gonna compete with myself next year."

Brooke saw her father's insecurity, "Dad, do you really think you _need_ to buy that stuff?"

"Sometimes, yeah, I think so."

"That's ridiculous," Sarah snapped. "Olivia is never ever leaving you. And you're never ever leaving her. So before you buy her a boat or an island vacation home, or an _island_ , get that through your handsome little noggin." Sarah poked Ed's temple with her index finger and he couldn't help but start laughing.

"Okay, can we focus on not me for a while?" Ed asked, still smiling, "Brooke, how was Valentine's Day?"

"Sonny was working," Brooke answered, tucking her hair behind her ears. "But we had dinner a couple days later. He sent flowers to me at school," Brooke reported, blushing. "And gave me this." She pulled up her sleeve and revealed a platinum tennis bracelet.

Sarah grabbed her wrist and inspected the jewelry. "Well, not a Cartier, but….not a bad job, Sonny Carisi, Jr."

Ed rolled his eyes at his younger daughter. "It's beautiful."

"Yes it is," Sarah agreed. "But gosh, guys, Valentine's Day is so _stressful_."

The three of them took a drink and nodded, acknowledging the truth in Sarah's statement. Ed picked at the complimentary snack mix and asked Sarah if she'd spoken to Hillary lately. The question came so close to the Valentine's Day dialogue that Brooke raised her eyebrows. Ed saw the curiosity and immediately realized he made a slight blunder.

Brooke didn't know.

Sarah replied casually, "Last I heard she and everyone else were getting settled in just fine in Buenos Aires."

Feeling even more out of the loop, Brooke waved her hands in the air and said, "Wait, wait, _wait_." Suddenly, everything made sense. Sarah bringing Hillary to the party. Sarah being secretive about what she was doing on the weekends. Her general distance since Christmas. "Hillary's in Argentina?"

"Yes. With my old team."

Thinking he was off the hook, Ed resumed drinking as if nothing had happened, but he hastily finished his bourbon, made sure the receipt was signed, and kissed both Brooke and Sarah on the cheek.

"Don't be strangers," he reminded them before donning his coat and leaving. On the way home he replayed the last part of their conversation and concluded that maybe he was overreacting. Other than the family, Hillary was Sarah's only close acquaintance. Maybe him asking about her wasn't so suspicious after all; however, Ed was shocked Sarah hadn't revealed anything to her sister.

…..

"Leave the dishes," Olivia called to Ed from the couch, "Come sit with me." She sipped what was left of her wine and reached out for him.

"Want more?" He asked before sitting down.

"No. I want you to sit with me."

Ed obliged and put his arm around Olivia as she nestled into his side, the spot where she fit perfectly. The baby monitor was on the table. The twins had been in bed for almost thirty minutes, but Wyatt was restless.

"Hope he's not getting what Maggie had," Olivia murmured.

Ed kissed the top of her head. "We'll prolly all get it."

"I'm going to get him." Olivia took Wyatt from his crib and grabbed a teething ring from the freezer.

"His teeth?"

"He had his fist and his blanket in his mouth," Olivia reported as she sat back down next to Ed with Wyatt curled in her lap. The chill of the ring briefly startled Wyatt and his blue eyes shot wide open. When he realized what was happening and where he was he relaxed and soothed himself back to sleep while sucking on the ring. "There ya go, Wyatt Edward," Olivia cooed softly, "Go back to sleep baby boy."

Ed smiled at his infant son as he burrowed himself into his mother and curled almost into a ball. Olivia fixated on Wyatt, and Ed beamed proudly. His wife played all her roles well, but he loved her best as Mommy.

"Getting so big," Olivia murmured.

Ed tightened his hold on her. "Yeah…went by kinda, well, lookin' back, went by kinda fast."

"I keep wishing to slow down time."

"But," Ed replied brightly, "I think we've kept our promise…to live in the moment. To enjoy every minute. Like this."

"True." Olivia gingerly took the ring out of Wyatt's mouth and adjusted his navy-and-white-striped sleeper, the snaps of which were threatening to come undone. "Do you think…eventually…Wyatt will move in with Noah?"

She sure was jumping ahead in time. Ed shrugged, "Maybe. But, maybe by then we'll have a bigger place. A bedroom for each kid."

Olivia remembered the day when they gushed over the space their current home provided. "Do you mean…out of the city?"

"Not necessarily."

"I don't know how I'd do…out _there_."

"Me neither."

"We got so lucky with this place," Olivia mused. "What are the odds we find a four bedroom that we can afford in Manhattan?"

Ed calmly turned her head so they were eye-to-eye. "I'll figure something out…if that's what we need."

His sincerity almost frightened Olivia. Since the two of them had spent most of their adult lives married to the jobs, their joint finances had never been a concern; however, Manhattan's pricey real estate market would be a challenge if they sought an upgrade to their current abode. Nevertheless, she had unwavering confidence in her husband.

She strained her head forward to kiss him. "I know you will."

"But for now," Ed murmured, smirking at Wyatt, "We have new teeth to cut and basketball games to play, and," his eyes drifted up to meet hers, "love to make."

They traded chaste kisses, conscientious of jostling Wyatt, until Ed decided it was time for the baby to go back to his bed. "C'mon big guy," he whispered. "Daddy's gotcha."

Olivia watched Ed lean his head into Wyatt as he walked into the twins' room. Pangs of arousal shot through her midsection and a lump formed in her throat; Ed oozed sex appeal whenever he was in Daddy mode, but while Olivia worked herself into an erotic mood, the perfection that was their life, as usual, never failed to overwhelm her.

…..

Sonny returned to the loft after midnight. Exhausted, he carelessly tossed his weapon, shield, and keys onto the counter. He was rummaging through the assortment of leftovers in the refrigerator when he felt Brooke's arms slide around his waist.

He turned around and kissed her. "Hey there. Did I wake you up?"

"No," Brooke replied, "I was just doing some work."

Sonny balked at his wife's decision to work on a Friday night. "Yuck."

"So my weekend's clear," she explained. "And hopefully yours is?"

"Yep. As planned." Sonny cocked his head to the side. Brooke was holding something back. "What's up?" He asked innocently.

She grinned at his intuition and patted his chest. "Get something to eat and come sit with me."

He quickly filled a plate and heated it in the microwave. When he sat down next to Brooke, she laughed. "That's quite a combination."

Sonny looked at his plate—pad thai, the end of a gyro, and three chicken wings—and proudly proclaimed his dinner represented the cuisine of three continents.

"So," Brooke said excitedly, "Remember how I was wondering about Sarah?"

"Yeah. She okay?"

"Sort of," Brooke replied, "We had drinks today with my Dad and before he left he asked about Hillary. And I thought it was weird, ya know? Like, we were _just_ talking about Valentine's Day and being romantic and the very next question out of his mouth was about her."

Sonny chewed expectantly; Brooke's point had not yet dawned on him.

"So after Dad left, I point blank asked Sarah if she and Hillary were, you know, more than friends." She paused for dramatic effect. "And she said _yes_!"

"Wow," Sonny replied with his mouth full, "They're… _together_?"

"That's the problematic piece. You know Sarah got promoted? Well, the first thing she did was send Hillary and a few other people to Argentina for a year."

Clearly confused, Sonny muttered, "I don't get it."

"Apparently they've been having this… _fling_ …since Christmastime and it was getting too serious and scaring Sarah because, well, for obvious reasons, so Sarah broke it off and then, well, she had to send the team to Buenos Aires…so the timing looked really bad and Hillary was pissed and Sarah still doesn't know what's going on with her life."

"Has she…" Sonny made sure to choose his words carefully, "Has she been with women before?"

"No. She said the whole thing took her by surprise. That one night she was kinda drunk and kissed her and it escalated from there."

"Similar to the beginning of every other relationship in the history of Earth."

Brooke giggled. "But Sarah's issue is…perception. Like, she told Olivia and Olivia told my Dad, but Sarah was afraid to tell _me_. Like, seriously? She thought I would be less understanding and supportive than my Dad?"

"But she didn't directly tell your Dad."

"Not at first, no."

"Poor Lieu."

"No kidding." Brooke sighed, "So, Sarah feels bad about the way things ended with Hillary, but she also feels bad that she doesn't exactly have the nerve to…come out…and she is not ruling out men. In fact, she has a date next week."

"It's too bad there's still a stigma," Sonny remarked, "But she's gotta make that decision for herself. If she's not comfortable, it's even worse."

"For now she's telling herself they can't be together because Sarah's her boss."

"Good point. Easy way out." Sonny finished off his meal, chewed, and swallowed, "Who's the date with?"

"Some guy she met online."

"Uh-oh."

"I'm chaperoning. Wanna join?"

Sonny grinned and kissed her. "I'd love to."

….

Ed fell asleep with his arms and a leg draped over Olivia. His heavy breathing signaled he was fast asleep, but every time Olivia tried to move, his hold on her became even more unyielding. She gave up and managed to remove the heavy duvet so they were covered by a single crisp white sheet. Typically she had no trouble falling asleep, especially after making love, and especially when pleasantly trapped in his grip, but tonight swirling emotions kept her awake. She was worried about Sarah. Since initially struggling with the miscarriage, Brooke was now acting like nothing happened. Anytime the twins were on the cusp of a new developmental milestone she agonized about her little ones growing up too quickly which led her to debate retirement which led her to Ed's declaration that he had retired so she could do everything she wanted and needed to do which made her love him even more which made her worry that her love and gratitude, one day, wouldn't be enough.

She extracted an arm from under her pillow and held his wrist.

"I love you so much, Ed Tucker," she whispered and closed her eyes, trying to will herself into slumber.

Several minutes passed. She debated whether or not to disappoint Ed and get out of bed. It was almost four o'clock. Maybe she would just start her Saturday extremely early. There were always things to do.

She fidgeted in order to gauge her husband's response.

"Go back to sleep, Lieutenant," he mumbled into her shoulder, "I love you, too."

…..

 **#Tuckson**


	57. Chapter 57

**Fifty-Seven.**

Noah was delivered to Sarah's apartment dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt under a fleece pullover. His navy suit, button-down shirt, and tie were hanging together on a single hanger protected by a garment bag sized especially for children's clothing. The shark backpack had been cleared of all school supplies and instead contained items for his overnight stay—shiny black oxfords, dress socks, toothbrush, pajamas, and another casual jeans-and-t-shirt pairing for the next day. Noah also boasted another new accessory—a leather wallet—which contained his school identification card, an "if lost return to" insert, and thirteen dollars, all in singles.

Sarah inspected the wallet with interest, bending and twisting the still-stiff leather. "Wow, Noah, this is really nice. Your first wallet!"

"Daddy got it for me. 'Cause I have all this MONEY!"

She fingered the dollar bills and received a stern glare from Ed when, under her breath, she muttered, "He's all set for the strip club." Turning back to Noah, she asked, "How'd you get all this cash?"

"Workin."

"Working where?"

"At _home_ ," Noah answered impatiently, "I make my bed and put da books away and put da clothes in the basket!"

"Chores already?" Sarah asked incredulously.

Ed shrugged. "Never too early to learn the value of a dollar." He opened his own wallet and shoved some bills into Sarah's hand, "But…dinner's on me. Thanks for taking him."

Refusing the cash wasn't an option, so Sarah took it without protest. "We shall have the time of our lives! Dinner and a Broadway show. Doesn't get much better than that!"

"Where ya gonna eat?"

"I don't know," Sarah replied, "Someplace touristy. Noey, tonight, we shall be visitors to our own city. You may choose whichever loud, revolting tourist trap chain restaurant in which to eat."

"Sounds like a good time," Ed quipped all the while knowing Noah liked the bright lights of Times Square.

Sarah giggled, "Oh, it will be. Okay Daddy, we must get ready. Stay or go, but we're relocating to the bathroom."

"I'm out." Ed hoisted Noah into the air and bear-hugged him. "Have a good time, bud. Make sure Sarah sends us pictures. Love you."

Noah hugged his Daddy tightly and growled a little. "Love you!"

Ed returned Noah to the floor and patted him on the head. "Be good."

"You be good too!" Noah exclaimed.

Sarah grinned devilishly. Ed raised a hand, palm out, and rolled his eyes. "Don't…say it," he jokingly warned.

She made a zipping motion across her lips and waved goodbye with a smirk Ed recognized as his.

….

Not far from Times Square but seemingly a world away, four Tuckers occupied a table at Uncle Nick's, a kid-friendly Greek restaurant both casual and loud enough for a couple with three kids. The ever-present owner always greeted them with a smile and rushed to swap two seats for high chairs. Tonight he expressed disappointment that Noah would not be joining them. The little boy delighted in the saganaki presentation and always cooperated with a spirited "opa!" when the flame was lit.

"He's seein' a show with his sister tonight," Ed reported. It took him three tries to get Maggie's kicking legs through the slots in the high chair. When she was finally seated he kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and grinned, revealing four milky white front teeth. "Whatcha want to eat, pretty girl?"

Maggie babbled and reached for the silverware. Olivia rummaged around in their bag and gave a toy to each twin. They banged the hard plastic contraptions against the table, but the noise was hardly noticeable in the din of the packed restaurant.

"I couldn't believe how much they ate last time," Olivia marveled, "I guess we're doing a good job letting them try different foods. I thought they'd spit it all out."

" _We_ are doing a fantastic job," Ed declared, smirking proudly, "No one's done it better."

"You're quite cocky, Captain," Olivia retorted, "I like it."

Ed looked from Maggie to Wyatt and then back to his wife. " _Look at us_ ," he said, "Who wouldn't be cocky?"

Wyatt hurled his lion-themed ring in Maggie's direction. In response, she let loose with a combination of shrieks and giggles, and proceeded to drum her own little beat, now with two rattles. Wyatt stretched forward as far as he could. At first, he whimpered when he failed to reach his toy, but Maggie's giggles were contagious and he joined in, slapping his palms on the table.

"Not much bothers you, does it Wyatt?" Olivia brushed his dark brown hair from his forehead.

"You think he's _too_ laid back?" Ed asked with genuine concern.

Olivia smiled at her overprotective husband. She knew exactly what he meant. "Worried people are going to walk all over him?"

"Maybe a little."

"I think he'll be fine. He'll be…the voice of reason," she planted a kiss on one of Wyatt's chubby cheeks. "Won't you baby boy?"

Wyatt's eyes widened at the bread basket the waiter delivered. His attention shifted to the food and he happily chewed at the piece Olivia handed him. They ordered their meals and sipped wine, peppering in small talk. It was perfectly mundane. Perhaps they were an exceptional family; however, both Olivia and Ed savored nights like this when they blended in with everyone else.

"I have a ridiculously busy week this week," Ed remarked at one point.

"I was reading through some of the files you brought home. It looks messy."

Ed grinned, "You were reading my files, Lieutenant?"

"I was…looked interesting. Even though I suppose, I should probably leave them alone."

Ed had been appointed as a special investigator to an independent team seeking to determine whether or not the NYPD was right in their decision to completely shut down three apartment buildings in the Bronx which were, they claimed, overrun with drug lords.

He shrugged, "Your squad isn't the target of the lawsuit. I'm more concerned that you found five hundred pages of legalese interesting."

Olivia threw her head back, laughing and conceding his point. She was about to continue their banter when a tall, military-looking man approached their table.

"Detective Benson?"

Ed observed curiously as Olivia squinted and tried to figure out how she and this person were connected. Never one terribly bothered with titles, she didn't correct him on her rank.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled hesitantly and instinctively put an arm across the back of Wyatt's high chair. The man wasn't smiling, but he didn't look unfriendly. There was a glint in his eye indicating he was perhaps enjoying watching her struggle to place him.

He finally let her off the hook. "Dominic Pruitt," he said, smiling and reaching out to shake her hand. "We, uh…we met a few years ago."

 _Met_ certainly was an understatement. A decade ago, Olivia had been seconds away from blowing his brains out in a hotel room.

"Oh, wow, ah," she shook his hand and immediately gestured to Ed, "This is my husband, Ed Tucker, former NYPD."

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"And this is my daughter and one of my sons. Maggie and Wyatt."

Pruitt smiled at the babies, but made to move to touch either of them. He took a step backward, slightly uncomfortable now. The Detective Benson he'd briefly known looked now lived a completely different existence.

"Don't want to interrupt you for too long," he said, "Just recognized you and thought I'd say hi. Glad all is well."

"How are you?"

"Doing well. I'm a recruiter now…the days of active duty are over. I'm in the city making the rounds at a few high schools. Though, not much interest these days."

"Unfortunately…I don't find that hard to believe."

The exchanged a few more pleasantries and Pruitt snaked his way back to his table and his companions. Ed could tell by Olivia's expression that their "meeting" had not been memorable for sunny reasons.

"Former suspect?"

"At one time, yeah," Olivia tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Wow…I can't believe how much I had completely forgotten about… _then_."

"How long ago?"

"About ten years."

Ed did some quick calculations. He didn't have Olivia's jacket memorized, but he knew the contents both from what he'd read in the course of IAB investigations and from what Olivia had agonizingly revealed to him throughout the course of their early relationship. Additionally, he saw her eyes glaze over like they did when she mentally went to a darker place, and he immediately attempted to bring her back.

"Ten years, huh?" He asked playfully and pretended to think, "Ah, yeah, I loved you even then."

Her wide smile returned. She knew what he was doing and she let herself fall into his trap. " _Stop_."

"I did."

"Sure."

"I couldn't figure out how to tell you."

Olivia reached across the table for Maggie's hand and cuddled Wyatt with her other arm. "Are you going to tell these lies to our children?"

"Maybe."

"So you admit you're lying."

Ed winced and held his hands in the air, "Ya got me there, Lieutenant." He took her hands in his. "But you know what I _am_ gonna tell 'em?"

"What's that?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw what was probably their food being carried to the table by a harried-looking kitchen runner who was slowed only by the tables' close proximity to one another.

"That they shouldn't wait if they see someone they want."

Sure enough, their plates were delivered seconds later. The runner was gracious enough to wait until Ed released her hands before plopping the dishes down on the paper placemats.

Both Wyatt and Maggie reached for the steaming entrees.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Olivia said, "Hang on, sweetie."

Ed blew on a potato wedge and handed it to Maggie. "That's my girl," he cooed as she hungrily munched away.

Across the table Olivia spooned portions of her moussaka into Wyatt's waiting and eager mouth; he scrunched up his face at first but quickly adjusted to the foreign flavors and grabbed for the spoon, demanding another bite. It wasn't long before Maggie noticed she was missing out on Wyatt's treat. She screeched and flailed her arms in Olivia's direction.

"Here," Olivia cut a piece and transferred it to Ed's plate. In return, he slid pieces of his lamb and chicken onto hers. "Thank you," she said sweetly.

"Don't wantcha to starve," he replied with a wink. "Think we should order more food?"

"No," Olivia said, "I think we're good. Just perfect."

…..

Planet Hollywood's garish interior unsettled Sarah at first, but she managed to avoid looking around and focused mostly on her five-year-old date who had chosen this particular restaurant because he like the looks of the globe marquee on top of the building. A strong gin-and-tonic helped, and two drinks later she was able to survey the area without feeling dizzy or nauseated. Noah, his hair combed perfectly to the side and clad in his suit and tie, sat across from her sipping his Shirley Temple and alternating between watching music videos on the large screens and observing the people milling about the bar.

"Do you like this place, Noey?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Do you think Mommy and Daddy would like it?"

Noah giggled, " _No_! Too loud."

"What about Maggie and Wyatt?"

"Babies loud," he replied, "So they like it here, Sare Bear. We bring 'em next time."

"We'll see," Sarah said doubtfully. "Hey, so, what's going on in your life?"

Noah plucked a nacho from the appetizer platter they ordered and chewed contemplatively. "Jus' school. And basketball."

"How's math?"

His eyes widened, "It gettin' _hard_ , Sare Bear! We add numbers with _TWO_ places!"

"Oh wow. Well, you ask me if you need help. Is your teacher nice?"

"Yes."

"Are the kids nice?"

"Uh-huh."

"Anyone get in trouble lately?"

Noah grinned, "Jess'ca had to go to timeout."

"Why?"

"Shouting."

"Shouting?"

"Yep. She shout when Miss Tiffy say it's time to come inside."

" _Oh_ _my_."

" _Yeah_ ," Noah matched Sarah's sincerity. He took another nacho, ate it carefully, and wiped his hands with his napkin. Sarah grinned at him. She'd already dribbled grease from a slider down her sweater; it was black so the stain remained camouflaged, but Noah was still in pristine condition.

"Thank you for being my date tonight, Noey."

"You welcome. Las' time we bringed Brookey. When was saw the lions."

"Yeah," Sarah said, "Well, I got these from my work and they only gave me two, so I chose you! Next time we'll bring Brookey and maybe Sonny."

"And Hill'ry?" Noah asked innocently looking across the table at Sarah.

She twitched and fidgeted. Took a sip. "Well, Hill's in Argentina right now."

"That's where you went!"

"Yeah, but, since I got my new job, I didn't go this time."

"Cause you in Ma'hattan."

"Yeah." Sarah took a gulp of her drink, "Noey…you liked Hillary, right?"

"Yep! She nice!" Noah bellowed a fascinated _whoa_ at something on the screen and continued eating. He politely requested another Shirley Temple when the waiter returned. Sarah ordered one last drink and asked for the check all the while trying to figure out a way for her preschooler companion to help figure out her relationship woes.

"Noey, do you remember Jeff?"

"Uh-huh. He your hubbind but not anymore."

"Right," Sarah said, a little amused at how much he picked up from adult conversations, "Well, who do you like better? Jeff or Hillary."

Understandably confused, Noah crinkled his nose. "Jeff nice _and_ Hill'ry nice."

"Yeah," Sarah murmured, "I love both of them."

"Yeah," Noah replied knowingly.

Sarah grinned. Her cheeks blazed from the abnormally warm restaurant, her cashmere sweater, and the gin. Wavy blonde strands fell from her messy bun, and even though she'd been eating and drinking, pink gloss still clung to her lips. "Noey, what if I married Hillary?"

"Like Mommy marry Daddy?"

"Yep. What would you think about that?"

Noah slurped the rest of his second Shirley Temple and tried to stab the cherry at the bottom trapped under two ice cubes. "Then we gotta buy s'more rings, Sare Bear," he mumbled and slid the glass over to her, "You get that cherry for me please?"

"Sure sweet boy," Sarah said, trying to hide her welling tears.

" _Sare Bear_! That's what Mommy call me! You call me Noey Boey!"

She stabbed the cherry with a fork and fed it to him. "Oopsie. Silly me. Sorry, Noey Boey. Now. Let's pay for this meal and then we shall make our way to the theater."

"Kay." Noah tugged his wallet from his back pocket and produced the handful of dollar bills and the twenties Ed had given Sarah. "I have da money."

"Ah, yes you do," Sarah put her credit card on the table. "You leave the tip. Put one twenty down and you keep the rest."

"What's the tip?"

"It's a little extra money we give the waiter because he did a good job."

"Oh…what 'bout all this?" Noah held up a fist full of cash.

"Put it back in your wallet. Save your money so you can buy something you really, really want someday."

Noah carefully placed the bills back in the slot. "Sare Bear?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why we not goin' to look at the 'partments anymore?"

"Ah, well, I kinda got sidetracked, but we'll look again soon. For now, I'm living cheap and I shall use the extra money to buy you and your babies presents. Sound good?"

"Yep!" Noah exclaimed, jumping down from his chair, "Sounds GREAT!"

…

The Tucker's master bedroom pleasantly filled with soft light from the floor lamp in the corner. The shade hung over the armchair which was usually filled with discarded clothing. Ed swiped everything to the floor so he could sit there and give both babies their bottles while Olivia finished putting new sheets on their beds—a chore she'd meant to complete before they left for dinner. She had been distracted by the photos Sarah sent at lightning speed of Noah in various stages of being primped for their date. The final one almost caused her to drop the phone.

"Ed," she gasped. "Look at this!"

Even he was speechless.

In his freshly pressed suit and slick hair, Noah looked years older. Sarah had obviously coached him into his pose—thumbs hitched in his pockets, one knee bent. He was leaning against a pillar and Sarah was next to him, her elbow resting on the countertop. They both wore aloof expressions.

"They look like they're in a magazine," Ed remarked.

"They really do."

Olivia snapped the final corner in place, and she realized she was still smiling. She hadn't stopped smiling the whole evening, except for the few minutes with Dominic Pruitt which she had handled well. Nevertheless, she still owed Ed further explanation. She fussed about the twins' room a little longer straightening picture frames and the stacks of diapers and onesies on the shelf below the changing table. Their bureau and closet were bursting with clothes and both old and new toys and other gizmos intended to exercise either their brains or muscles or both. At some point they needed to siphon out items to donate.

The room, though, was so peaceful. Olivia was always reluctant to leave this sanctuary. The twins themselves embodied hope and love and their family's unity, but their room intensified the symbolism—most of it had been constructed and improved by Ed and Noah, and all three Tucker children's footprints were printed on the oversized light switch panel. Olivia tapped it on her way out.

"I love this sight," she said quietly, standing in the doorway of their bedroom smiling at her husband and her infant children who were snuggled at their father's side contentedly sucking on their bottles in their matching white footie pajamas plastered with teddy bears.

Ed's eyes drifted to the twins. "Me too…Liv…you…you put so much on the line for us to have these two…"

Olivia sat on the ottoman and put a hand on Ed's thigh. "We wanted it and we did it together."

"And they're perfect."

"Yeah they are."

" _We_ are perfect."

Ed grabbed Olivia just then. "This whole thing is perfect."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"No matter what."

"Always."

…

 **#Tuckson**

 **This is the end of Evolution.**


End file.
